Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,001 --> 00:00:11,001
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
2
00:00:16,900 --> 00:00:20,536
[Q] 1994.
Welcome to Staten Island,
3
00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:23,472
a great year
and a great place to grow up.
4
00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:28,078
[engine turns over]
5
00:00:28,144 --> 00:00:30,446
[EMF's "Unbelievable" playing]
6
00:00:30,512 --> 00:00:33,415
That's Stacey, my hula girl.
7
00:00:33,482 --> 00:00:35,517
Oh, oh,
that's me in high school.
8
00:00:35,584 --> 00:00:37,053
Man, look at that hair.
9
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,256
I look just like
Chandler Bing, right?
10
00:00:39,322 --> 00:00:40,957
Just go with it.
11
00:00:41,024 --> 00:00:44,526
♪ You're always asking
what it's all about ♪
12
00:00:44,593 --> 00:00:46,263
Rooty-toot-toot!
13
00:00:46,329 --> 00:00:49,832
- Hey, Q.
- Hey!
14
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:51,368
Hey, how's your sister doing?
15
00:00:51,433 --> 00:00:55,071
- Wouldn't you like to know?
- [laughs]
16
00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:57,207
I would. I really would.
17
00:00:57,274 --> 00:01:00,243
♪ Your purple prose
just gives you away ♪
18
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:02,645
♪ The things you say ♪
19
00:01:02,711 --> 00:01:04,381
♪ You're unbelievable ♪
20
00:01:04,446 --> 00:01:05,547
Dad.
21
00:01:05,614 --> 00:01:06,849
Can I have permission to go
22
00:01:06,917 --> 00:01:08,385
to the Paula Abdul concert,
please?
23
00:01:08,450 --> 00:01:09,818
- Go, Sal, go.
- I know the rules, Dad.
24
00:01:09,886 --> 00:01:11,820
I will check in,
I will beep you, I'll call.
25
00:01:11,888 --> 00:01:13,589
Okay, rule number one,
we love each other.
26
00:01:13,656 --> 00:01:14,958
Rule number two,
see rule number one.
27
00:01:15,025 --> 00:01:16,359
Please get out of the house
and go.
28
00:01:16,425 --> 00:01:18,494
Okay. People smoke marijuana.
29
00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:19,828
Do the weed. Take a shot.
30
00:01:19,896 --> 00:01:21,730
Just get out of the house.
Please, go.
31
00:01:21,797 --> 00:01:22,498
Just go!
32
00:01:22,564 --> 00:01:23,867
[horn honks]
33
00:01:23,934 --> 00:01:26,835
Oh, hey, Q! [laughs]
I'll be right there.
34
00:01:29,805 --> 00:01:32,208
♪ The things you say ♪
35
00:01:32,275 --> 00:01:33,809
[bell ringing]
36
00:01:33,877 --> 00:01:34,843
♪ Your purple prose
just gives you away ♪
37
00:01:34,911 --> 00:01:36,913
♪ The things you say ♪
38
00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:39,548
♪ You're unbelievable ♪
39
00:01:39,615 --> 00:01:41,151
♪ Oh! ♪
40
00:01:41,217 --> 00:01:42,152
[horn honks]
41
00:01:42,218 --> 00:01:44,220
Hey, fellas.
42
00:01:46,655 --> 00:01:48,657
'Sup?
My best friend, Sal.
43
00:01:48,724 --> 00:01:51,794
And there's Q too.
Hey, guys.
44
00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:54,763
[bowling pins clattering]
45
00:01:54,830 --> 00:01:56,632
♪ Whoa, man! ♪
46
00:01:56,699 --> 00:01:58,368
[bowling pins clatter]
47
00:01:58,435 --> 00:02:00,170
♪ Seemingly lastless,
don't mean you can ask us ♪
48
00:02:00,236 --> 00:02:02,439
Oh-ho-ho!
49
00:02:02,504 --> 00:02:03,974
♪ Think of the fine times ♪
50
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:04,941
Boys!
51
00:02:05,008 --> 00:02:06,409
- I have a question.
- Yeah?
52
00:02:06,475 --> 00:02:07,444
Are you forever my girl?
53
00:02:07,509 --> 00:02:08,378
Straight up. Now, tell me.
54
00:02:08,445 --> 00:02:09,712
- Whoo!
- Yeah!
55
00:02:09,778 --> 00:02:10,779
- That's right, watch it.
- Oh, come on, Joe.
56
00:02:10,846 --> 00:02:12,415
- Come on.
- Comin' in hot.
57
00:02:12,481 --> 00:02:14,451
All right, watch that...
watch that leather back there.
58
00:02:14,516 --> 00:02:16,186
You're the worst.
59
00:02:16,252 --> 00:02:18,787
♪ The things you say ♪
60
00:02:18,855 --> 00:02:21,391
♪ You're unbelievable ♪
61
00:02:21,458 --> 00:02:23,026
Hey, Abdul.
62
00:02:23,093 --> 00:02:24,560
Too bad
we don't have tickets.
63
00:02:24,626 --> 00:02:26,528
Tickets?
Tickets are for losers, dude.
64
00:02:26,595 --> 00:02:27,696
I got a plan.
65
00:02:27,763 --> 00:02:30,967
[tense rock music]
66
00:02:33,669 --> 00:02:35,637
- Who gets the small?
- Hey!
67
00:02:35,704 --> 00:02:37,573
- Really?
- Yeah, why not?
68
00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:40,143
Hmm. Well, who's ready
to party tonight?
69
00:02:40,210 --> 00:02:41,610
What are you doing?
70
00:02:41,677 --> 00:02:43,046
- I'm being hype man.
- He hyped you right there.
71
00:02:43,113 --> 00:02:44,948
Joey's a great hype man,
and I know hype men.
72
00:02:45,015 --> 00:02:46,916
Yeah, throughout history,
there's been many a hype man.
73
00:02:46,983 --> 00:02:49,585
- Who?
- Thomas Edison had one.
74
00:02:49,651 --> 00:02:50,887
- Gandhi.
- Caesar.
75
00:02:50,954 --> 00:02:52,755
Okay, all right,
Caesar had a hype man.
76
00:02:52,821 --> 00:02:53,990
You guys should look it up.
77
00:02:54,057 --> 00:02:56,159
Who was Caesar's
hype man, then?
78
00:02:56,226 --> 00:02:57,160
[both] Jeff.
79
00:02:57,227 --> 00:02:58,428
I'm done.
80
00:02:58,495 --> 00:02:59,462
I'm done with this.
I'm done...
81
00:02:59,528 --> 00:03:00,629
- Can we go?
- Yeah.
82
00:03:00,696 --> 00:03:03,732
[rock music]
83
00:03:11,041 --> 00:03:12,509
- 'Scuse!
- On the left.
84
00:03:12,574 --> 00:03:14,177
- Excuse you. Excuse me.
- Up on the right.
85
00:03:14,244 --> 00:03:16,779
- You. Excuse you. Security.
- On the left.
86
00:03:16,845 --> 00:03:18,680
- Move.
- Move.
87
00:03:18,747 --> 00:03:20,616
- Security.
- Just watch it.
88
00:03:20,682 --> 00:03:21,851
[woman] Idiot.
89
00:03:21,918 --> 00:03:23,619
Hey, uh, who are you guys?
90
00:03:23,685 --> 00:03:26,289
Uh, high-level security.
91
00:03:29,059 --> 00:03:31,961
[dramatic music]
92
00:03:45,508 --> 00:03:47,177
[sighs]
93
00:03:50,513 --> 00:03:52,315
I'll allow it.
94
00:03:56,785 --> 00:03:58,754
[all quietly cheering]
95
00:03:58,821 --> 00:04:00,523
What do we do now?
What do we do now?
96
00:04:00,589 --> 00:04:02,058
Whatever the hell we want.
97
00:04:03,625 --> 00:04:05,895
Move! Watch it.
Coming through.
98
00:04:07,197 --> 00:04:08,965
The arena is ours.
99
00:04:09,032 --> 00:04:10,934
Wait, who is this?
Where's Larry?
100
00:04:14,304 --> 00:04:16,638
- Hit it!
- ♪ Nah, nah-nah-nah-nah ♪
101
00:04:16,705 --> 00:04:19,641
♪ Nah-nah-nah-nah,
nah-nah-nah, nah-nah-nah ♪
102
00:04:19,708 --> 00:04:21,544
Green room, fellas.
103
00:04:21,610 --> 00:04:23,980
Everything is free.
[laughs]
104
00:04:27,683 --> 00:04:29,085
How great is this?
105
00:04:29,152 --> 00:04:31,820
[laughs] Oh.
106
00:04:31,888 --> 00:04:33,123
Hey, say hello to my dad.
107
00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:34,891
- Hey, Daddy.
- [chuckles]
108
00:04:34,958 --> 00:04:36,792
No, it's my dad.
I don't call him Daddy.
109
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,727
Oh.
I'm sorry.
110
00:04:38,794 --> 00:04:40,296
You're security?
111
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:41,697
Yeah, just... Please.
112
00:04:41,763 --> 00:04:44,033
Look at that zoom.
I can see your pores.
113
00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:47,937
Yuck.
[laughs]
114
00:04:50,273 --> 00:04:52,175
- What are you doing?
- Oh, me? Hypin'.
115
00:04:52,242 --> 00:04:53,842
- Hypin' what?
- Eh, you know, the crudités.
116
00:04:53,910 --> 00:04:55,245
You're over here by yourself
shaking your head.
117
00:04:55,311 --> 00:04:57,614
I know, I'm just excited
for crudités, what?
118
00:04:57,679 --> 00:04:59,048
I was taping you
from across the room.
119
00:04:59,115 --> 00:05:00,450
You look like a doo-wop dad.
120
00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:01,683
Hold on one second.
121
00:05:01,750 --> 00:05:03,153
Yo, Bubba Gump,
122
00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:05,255
Want to leave some shrimp
for the rest of us?
123
00:05:05,321 --> 00:05:06,322
[laughter] Oh, my...
124
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:07,756
- Oh, my God, sick reference!
- Classic.
125
00:05:07,823 --> 00:05:09,092
I just saw Forrest Gump
this week.
126
00:05:09,159 --> 00:05:10,759
- Guys, Paula Abdul, 12:00.
- [all gasp]
127
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:15,198
Check out the banana patrol.
128
00:05:18,134 --> 00:05:19,469
Was she just checking me out?
129
00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:20,702
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah. Right at you.
130
00:05:20,769 --> 00:05:22,338
- She was.
- Oh, you see that, right?
131
00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:24,007
You should probably
get her number.
132
00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:25,108
No.
133
00:05:25,175 --> 00:05:26,509
Yeah, it'd be a shame
if you didn't.
134
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:27,544
You think she's into me
like that?
135
00:05:27,610 --> 00:05:28,777
- Yeah.
- You're right.
136
00:05:28,844 --> 00:05:30,313
I'm doin' it.
137
00:05:30,380 --> 00:05:31,713
I'm doin' it.
138
00:05:33,049 --> 00:05:35,952
- Down in flames.
- Roll tape.
139
00:05:36,019 --> 00:05:38,621
[snickers] Such a doofus.
Look at him.
140
00:05:38,687 --> 00:05:39,956
You want my number?
141
00:05:40,023 --> 00:05:42,058
- No.
- Guys, guys.
142
00:05:42,125 --> 00:05:44,427
No, guys, it looks like he's
getting her number, I swear.
143
00:05:44,494 --> 00:05:48,298
I think he...
I think he got her number.
144
00:05:48,364 --> 00:05:50,133
Good call, fellas.
She was into me.
145
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:51,733
But she didn't finish
the phone number in time.
146
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,003
She started to give you
her real number?
147
00:05:54,070 --> 00:05:55,271
This is a victory for us.
148
00:05:55,338 --> 00:05:57,373
- Great shit.
- I gotta be honest.
149
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:58,675
I was breaking your shoes.
150
00:05:58,740 --> 00:05:59,943
I didn't think
you'd get her number.
151
00:06:00,009 --> 00:06:01,710
You just rose
to that challenge, okay?
152
00:06:01,777 --> 00:06:02,946
We told you to do something,
you did it.
153
00:06:03,012 --> 00:06:04,614
Okay, you didn't refuse.
You didn't lose.
154
00:06:04,681 --> 00:06:07,016
The ball bag on this guy.
155
00:06:07,083 --> 00:06:08,384
You ever seen a ball bag
like this?
156
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:09,919
I've never seen a ball bag
like that, no.
157
00:06:09,986 --> 00:06:11,354
I've seen his ball bag.
158
00:06:11,421 --> 00:06:13,789
It's 10 pounds of ball bag
in a 5-pound sack.
159
00:06:13,856 --> 00:06:16,792
This whole time, there's been
two footprints in the sand.
160
00:06:16,859 --> 00:06:18,962
It's when your ball bag's
been carrying us.
161
00:06:19,028 --> 00:06:22,398
You don't just talk the talk,
you walk the walk. Okay?
162
00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:24,434
[Q] Who knows
where great ideas come from?
163
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:26,735
A mixture of genius
and stupidity?
164
00:06:26,802 --> 00:06:29,038
A ball bag speech from Sal?
165
00:06:29,105 --> 00:06:30,673
I know it rarely happens,
166
00:06:30,739 --> 00:06:33,910
but that night,
scholars and historians agree
167
00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:36,145
the Impractical Jokers
were born.
168
00:06:36,212 --> 00:06:38,181
This is unbelievable, guys.
169
00:06:38,248 --> 00:06:40,250
Holy sh...
[cheers and applause]
170
00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:41,750
The crowd.
171
00:06:41,817 --> 00:06:44,887
["Forever Your Girl" playing]
172
00:06:44,954 --> 00:06:45,888
♪ Hey, baby ♪
173
00:06:45,955 --> 00:06:47,523
[both] Oh, my God!
174
00:06:47,590 --> 00:06:49,791
♪ Gotta remember ♪
175
00:06:49,859 --> 00:06:52,761
♪ I'm forever your girl ♪
176
00:06:52,828 --> 00:06:54,931
♪ And baby, forever ♪
177
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,765
♪ And ever and ever ♪
178
00:06:56,832 --> 00:06:58,067
You know I am.
179
00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:04,507
Backstage, baby!
180
00:07:06,976 --> 00:07:09,312
[screaming]
181
00:07:15,318 --> 00:07:16,886
♪ Baby, pick your head up ♪
182
00:07:16,953 --> 00:07:18,988
That was the hottest thing
I've ever seen!
183
00:07:19,055 --> 00:07:22,325
♪ Come on and look me
in the face ♪
184
00:07:25,295 --> 00:07:26,562
Where's Joe?
185
00:07:26,629 --> 00:07:28,031
♪ Is bringin' you down ♪
186
00:07:28,097 --> 00:07:30,199
♪ Why you down? ♪
187
00:07:30,266 --> 00:07:32,602
- Oh, my God!
- Yeah! Yeah!
188
00:07:32,669 --> 00:07:34,937
♪ That another boy ♪
189
00:07:35,004 --> 00:07:36,639
Get off my stage.
190
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:38,107
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Go, Joey, go!
191
00:07:38,174 --> 00:07:39,676
Yeah! We're gonna live forever!
192
00:07:39,742 --> 00:07:40,977
I know!
193
00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:43,112
Pregnant ladies,
I can't hear y'all.
194
00:07:43,179 --> 00:07:45,348
Pregnant ladies, make noise.
195
00:07:47,917 --> 00:07:50,586
Helicopter.
196
00:07:50,653 --> 00:07:52,555
When I say ball, you say bag.
197
00:07:52,622 --> 00:07:53,990
Ball!
[crowd booing]
198
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,458
He's hyped up
on the ball bag.
199
00:07:55,525 --> 00:07:57,060
[crowd jeering]
200
00:07:57,126 --> 00:07:58,861
Get him off the stage.
201
00:07:58,928 --> 00:07:59,996
Hype it up.
202
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:02,398
We judged too soon.
He sucks.
203
00:08:02,465 --> 00:08:04,967
[music stops]
204
00:08:05,034 --> 00:08:07,270
White people!
205
00:08:07,337 --> 00:08:08,471
Blacks!
206
00:08:08,538 --> 00:08:09,972
[crowd jeering]
207
00:08:10,039 --> 00:08:12,442
Where the Vietnamese at?
208
00:08:12,508 --> 00:08:14,744
- Yeah, there's one!
- Where's my security?
209
00:08:14,811 --> 00:08:17,080
[crowd clamoring]
210
00:08:17,146 --> 00:08:19,182
This is mayhem.
[yelps]
211
00:08:19,248 --> 00:08:20,550
Ah! Son of a...
[glass shattering]
212
00:08:20,616 --> 00:08:22,452
- All right!
- They throwin' garbage?
213
00:08:22,518 --> 00:08:24,253
[together]
Staten Island garbage.
214
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:26,289
- Guys! Guys!
- Look out, Joe!
215
00:08:26,356 --> 00:08:27,857
Breach! Breach!
Breach!
216
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:29,359
Ah, these punks
are storming the stage.
217
00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:30,593
I'm getting the hell
out of here.
218
00:08:30,660 --> 00:08:31,861
No, no, no, no!
219
00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:37,300
Oh!
220
00:08:37,367 --> 00:08:39,135
[laughter]
221
00:08:39,202 --> 00:08:40,737
I got clotheslined by Abdul.
222
00:08:40,803 --> 00:08:42,271
Oh, Sal!
223
00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:45,608
My beautiful boy.
224
00:08:45,675 --> 00:08:47,643
She crushed my windpipe!
225
00:08:47,710 --> 00:08:48,878
You're okay.
Go, go!
226
00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:50,646
- Joey!
- Go.
227
00:08:50,713 --> 00:08:52,181
You guys are dead.
228
00:08:52,248 --> 00:08:53,549
Dead.
229
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:56,919
One day, I'm gonna find you,
and I will destroy you!
230
00:08:58,221 --> 00:08:59,589
[fire alarm ringing]
231
00:08:59,655 --> 00:09:01,524
[Wolfmother's
"Joker and the Thief" playing]
232
00:09:01,591 --> 00:09:03,593
Can't believe we ruined
the Abdul concert.
233
00:09:03,659 --> 00:09:05,027
[coughing]
234
00:09:05,094 --> 00:09:07,663
- Hi, Gina.
- Go, go, go.
235
00:09:07,730 --> 00:09:11,401
We've lost the arena!
We've lost the arena!
236
00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:14,837
Everything's fine.
Everything's fine.
237
00:09:14,904 --> 00:09:17,974
[people screaming, clamoring]
238
00:09:19,542 --> 00:09:23,780
Abdul assaulted me!
She's about 4'4", 40 pounds.
239
00:09:23,846 --> 00:09:25,982
[all clamoring]
240
00:09:26,048 --> 00:09:28,518
Ah! Why are you doing
this to me?
241
00:09:28,584 --> 00:09:31,254
Come on!
Abdul's got some mouth on her.
242
00:09:39,729 --> 00:09:41,564
♪ So I'll tell you all
the story ♪
243
00:09:41,631 --> 00:09:44,000
♪ About the joker
and the thief in the night ♪
244
00:09:50,940 --> 00:09:52,408
[upbeat rock music]
245
00:09:52,475 --> 00:09:54,577
- [Sal] Are we rolling?
- [Joe] Okay, here we go.
246
00:09:54,644 --> 00:09:56,412
[Joe] Once we clear this
camera, Sal, we're ready to go.
247
00:09:56,479 --> 00:09:57,814
It's only... Our close-up
keeps getting blocked.
248
00:09:57,881 --> 00:10:00,416
Cameras. Cameras.
249
00:10:00,483 --> 00:10:02,118
We have to make sure
camera D stays that way.
250
00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:03,553
Hold on, I got two...
I got three... In the ear,
251
00:10:03,619 --> 00:10:05,121
I had multiple people
at one time.
252
00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:07,223
[Joe] Now he's clear.
253
00:10:07,290 --> 00:10:09,392
- So, Sal's just gonna be a horrible mall Santa.
- [Murr] That's right.
254
00:10:09,459 --> 00:10:12,395
There's nothing more American
than a mall Santa.
255
00:10:12,462 --> 00:10:14,030
- That's right.
- Right? It's just classic.
256
00:10:14,096 --> 00:10:15,665
- Yeah.
- Well, in the winter.
257
00:10:15,731 --> 00:10:18,234
[Q] I will say this, Sal,
you have accepted the fact
258
00:10:18,301 --> 00:10:20,002
that we dressed you
as a mall Santa
259
00:10:20,069 --> 00:10:21,872
in the middle of summer
without complaint.
260
00:10:21,939 --> 00:10:24,240
- It's about 100 degrees out.
- [laughs]
261
00:10:24,307 --> 00:10:26,008
Oh, I'm gonna...
I'm gonna pass out.
262
00:10:26,075 --> 00:10:27,743
Well, you're about to
ruin Christmas
263
00:10:27,810 --> 00:10:29,512
for a bunch of kids, Sal.
264
00:10:29,579 --> 00:10:31,347
[Joe] Okay, Sal, when this kid
approaches, this is easy,
265
00:10:31,414 --> 00:10:33,683
just yell, "No! No!"
266
00:10:33,749 --> 00:10:35,184
No! No!
267
00:10:35,251 --> 00:10:37,855
- [laughter]
- No.
268
00:10:37,921 --> 00:10:39,188
So what do you want, Aiden?
269
00:10:39,255 --> 00:10:40,723
Do you want a big toy
or a little toy?
270
00:10:40,790 --> 00:10:42,992
What would you like?
I'll get it for you right now.
271
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,995
[stammering] Lightning McQueen.
272
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,163
- Sal, fall asleep.
- Fall asleep, Sal.
273
00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:48,598
Fall asleep, fall asleep.
274
00:10:52,134 --> 00:10:53,669
- Santa?
- [laughter]
275
00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:55,838
- [snores]
- Sal's sleeping. Look at him.
276
00:10:55,906 --> 00:10:57,240
- Look at the kid.
- [laughter]
277
00:10:57,306 --> 00:10:59,742
- Sal fell asleep.
- [Q] The shot's insane, Sal.
278
00:10:59,809 --> 00:11:01,010
[light music]
279
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:05,348
- [Joe] Sal, stay there.
- [laughter]
280
00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:07,216
Head's... Head nod down
there more.
281
00:11:07,283 --> 00:11:08,451
There you go.
282
00:11:08,518 --> 00:11:11,287
- [Q] Big snores. Big...
- [snoring]
283
00:11:11,354 --> 00:11:13,322
- [clattering]
- Ooh!
284
00:11:13,389 --> 00:11:15,391
- Start bouncing him.
- Oh.
285
00:11:15,458 --> 00:11:17,226
- "When'd you get here?"
- [Murr] Higher, buddy, higher.
286
00:11:17,293 --> 00:11:18,896
- [upbeat music]
- Yeah!
287
00:11:18,962 --> 00:11:21,497
[laughter]
288
00:11:21,564 --> 00:11:24,033
[Murr] Oh, taking his leg off!
He's taking his leg off!
289
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,801
He's so happy.
290
00:11:25,869 --> 00:11:28,771
[laughter]
291
00:11:33,409 --> 00:11:35,411
[Joe] Look at the... [laughs]
292
00:11:36,479 --> 00:11:37,713
High five!
293
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,181
[all] Aww.
294
00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:42,618
This fake snow
can't be helping.
295
00:11:42,685 --> 00:11:43,887
[laughing]
296
00:11:43,954 --> 00:11:46,155
Hello, darling. How are you?
297
00:11:46,222 --> 00:11:49,292
- Come sit on Santa's lap.
- [chuckles]
298
00:11:49,358 --> 00:11:51,394
- And what is your name?
- Casey.
299
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:53,763
Casey, I want you
to take a minute
300
00:11:53,829 --> 00:11:56,967
and think about what you might
want for Christmas this year.
301
00:11:57,034 --> 00:11:58,334
Just think about it
in your head.
302
00:11:58,401 --> 00:12:00,169
- Okay?
- Uh...
303
00:12:00,236 --> 00:12:01,304
[laughter]
304
00:12:01,370 --> 00:12:02,672
"Don't talk to me
till I tell you."
305
00:12:02,738 --> 00:12:05,141
Now, don't talk
until I tell you, Casey.
306
00:12:05,207 --> 00:12:06,642
- Mmm-hmm.
- Okay.
307
00:12:08,678 --> 00:12:13,716
- "Now, why aren't you saying anything to Santa?"
- [laughter]
308
00:12:13,783 --> 00:12:15,852
I don't have all day, Casey.
Do you know what you want?
309
00:12:15,919 --> 00:12:17,119
- Yes.
- Okay.
310
00:12:17,186 --> 00:12:18,889
Don't speak
until I tell you, now.
311
00:12:18,956 --> 00:12:20,423
[Joe] She's so cute.
312
00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:21,757
Whenever you're ready,
just tell me what you want.
313
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:22,926
[Joe] Keep flip-flopping.
314
00:12:22,993 --> 00:12:23,826
But don't talk
until I tell you.
315
00:12:23,894 --> 00:12:25,428
[laughter]
316
00:12:25,494 --> 00:12:27,129
Okay? So whenever you're ready,
you tell me what you want.
317
00:12:27,196 --> 00:12:30,132
But please don't speak
until I tell you.
318
00:12:30,199 --> 00:12:31,434
- Whenever you're ready.
- Okay.
319
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:33,302
Just don't speak until I say.
320
00:12:34,037 --> 00:12:35,872
[laughter]
321
00:12:35,939 --> 00:12:37,206
Nice to meet you...
322
00:12:37,273 --> 00:12:38,507
So, Sal, how was that?
You're doing...
323
00:12:38,574 --> 00:12:39,910
You're being a very good
horrible Santa.
324
00:12:39,977 --> 00:12:42,545
[sighs] Guys, this...
It's torture for us all.
325
00:12:42,612 --> 00:12:44,447
It's a torture for me,
it's a torture for you,
326
00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:46,115
it's a torture
for the children.
327
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:47,851
- I'm having a blast back here.
- Yeah.
328
00:12:47,918 --> 00:12:49,752
I'm giggling with my friends.
It feels pretty good back here.
329
00:12:49,819 --> 00:12:52,254
There's no less than 40
strands of hair in my mouth.
330
00:12:52,321 --> 00:12:53,789
[Q] Oh, it's getting
worse, Sal.
331
00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:57,727
- Oh!
- [laughs]
332
00:12:57,793 --> 00:12:58,862
[laughter]
333
00:13:02,832 --> 00:13:05,936
[laughter]
334
00:13:06,003 --> 00:13:09,305
- Jingle, jingle.
- [laughing]
335
00:13:10,941 --> 00:13:12,241
- Oh.
- I've had enough.
336
00:13:12,308 --> 00:13:13,175
I'm pulling the plug
on this whole thing.
337
00:13:13,242 --> 00:13:14,443
Let's get out of here.
338
00:13:14,510 --> 00:13:16,880
- That's a cut.
- Nice work.
339
00:13:23,419 --> 00:13:26,522
[light music playing,
low chatter]
340
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:30,459
[tapping]
341
00:13:35,464 --> 00:13:36,967
Where's the
Cheddar Bay Biscuits?
342
00:13:37,034 --> 00:13:38,501
I ordered a whole another
basket, like, ten minutes ago.
343
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:40,070
- You already had six.
- So what?
344
00:13:40,137 --> 00:13:41,837
- [Joe] You're cut off.
- [Murr] You can't be cut off.
345
00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:43,706
It's unlimited, it's the
whole point of Red Lobster.
346
00:13:43,773 --> 00:13:45,174
Guys. Guys.
347
00:13:46,308 --> 00:13:48,979
- Is that Abdul?
- Kareem?
348
00:13:49,046 --> 00:13:50,646
No. Can't be.
349
00:13:50,713 --> 00:13:52,782
- [Sal] That's Abdul. That's her.
- That's her.
350
00:13:52,848 --> 00:13:54,684
- Oh, my God.
- [Sal] It is Abdul.
351
00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:57,020
I know Abdul when I see it.
It's her! I'm scared right now.
352
00:13:57,087 --> 00:13:59,355
My windpipe is still sore
from when she hit me.
353
00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:00,589
Yeah, she straight jacked you.
354
00:14:00,656 --> 00:14:02,159
She's gonna remember
that night.
355
00:14:02,224 --> 00:14:03,426
Oh, she's coming over here,
so it's curtains for us,
356
00:14:03,492 --> 00:14:04,727
essentially, it's what it is.
357
00:14:04,794 --> 00:14:06,595
- I gotta get out of here.
- No, no! Sit...
358
00:14:06,662 --> 00:14:07,396
Sit down.
359
00:14:07,463 --> 00:14:08,798
This is our Red Lobster.
360
00:14:08,865 --> 00:14:10,332
I've been training for this
for 20 years.
361
00:14:10,399 --> 00:14:12,601
Nobody touches you again.
Not on my watch.
362
00:14:12,668 --> 00:14:14,104
- Okay, thank you.
- No, yeah.
363
00:14:14,171 --> 00:14:15,638
- Just sit down.
- She's coming right over here.
364
00:14:15,705 --> 00:14:17,239
- Act casual.
- She's looking right at us.
365
00:14:17,306 --> 00:14:18,340
- Act casual.
- She's looking...
366
00:14:18,407 --> 00:14:20,209
Smile. Act natural.
367
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:21,677
Smile. Smile.
368
00:14:21,744 --> 00:14:23,212
[tense music]
369
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:24,547
All right.
370
00:14:27,851 --> 00:14:29,251
Fifteen feet.
371
00:14:29,318 --> 00:14:30,820
Ten feet.
372
00:14:30,887 --> 00:14:31,988
Five feet.
373
00:14:32,055 --> 00:14:33,056
Abdul.
374
00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:34,423
You're the Impractical Jokers.
375
00:14:34,490 --> 00:14:36,392
- Yeah.
- For real?
376
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:38,427
- [both] Yeah.
- [Abdul] Holy shit.
377
00:14:38,494 --> 00:14:41,363
- Okay.
- I love you guys.
378
00:14:41,430 --> 00:14:44,233
Oh, no joke, man.
I've watched every season.
379
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,435
Well, except for season five.
380
00:14:46,502 --> 00:14:47,536
Yeah, I don't want
to get into it.
381
00:14:47,603 --> 00:14:49,072
All right, well, thank you.
382
00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:51,407
By any chance, you guys
gonna be in Miami next week?
383
00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:53,375
- Yeah.
- I'm having this huge party.
384
00:14:53,442 --> 00:14:55,311
You guys can come.
You can hang one night.
385
00:14:55,377 --> 00:14:57,047
You can hang the weekend.
Go hang out.
386
00:14:57,114 --> 00:14:58,347
- Oh, my God.
- What?
387
00:14:58,414 --> 00:14:59,715
- You kidding me?
- [knife clatters]
388
00:14:59,782 --> 00:15:01,184
Yeah, we'll be there.
We were gonna go...
389
00:15:01,250 --> 00:15:02,618
- We were going anyway.
- Yeah! Yeah!
390
00:15:02,685 --> 00:15:04,320
Yes!
391
00:15:04,386 --> 00:15:06,756
Sam? Hook 'em up.
392
00:15:10,459 --> 00:15:13,496
- Season five was atrocious.
- Mmm.
393
00:15:13,562 --> 00:15:15,331
So I'll see you in Miami?
394
00:15:15,397 --> 00:15:16,332
[all] Yes!
Yeah, I'll see you there.
395
00:15:16,398 --> 00:15:17,934
This is crazy.
396
00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:19,535
Yeah, that's right.
We are so in Miami.
397
00:15:19,602 --> 00:15:20,971
- We'll see you there.
- All right.
398
00:15:21,037 --> 00:15:23,305
- Miami, here we come.
- [laughs] All right.
399
00:15:23,372 --> 00:15:24,673
We're not really going
to Miami, are we?
400
00:15:24,740 --> 00:15:25,841
- Of course we're going to Miami.
- No.
401
00:15:25,909 --> 00:15:27,476
That night
was a disaster. Okay?
402
00:15:27,543 --> 00:15:29,612
We have a chance here
for a do-over.
403
00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:32,515
I don't need a do-over.
I'm the victim, okay?
404
00:15:32,581 --> 00:15:33,950
She punched me in the throat.
405
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:35,818
Guys, this isn't even
a discussion, okay?
406
00:15:35,886 --> 00:15:38,487
Abdul is here in the Lobster,
she invites us to the party,
407
00:15:38,554 --> 00:15:40,056
we go to the party.
408
00:15:40,123 --> 00:15:42,324
We turn back the clock.
We put that disaster to bed.
409
00:15:42,391 --> 00:15:43,860
Oh, yeah.
We're going, and this time,
410
00:15:43,927 --> 00:15:45,962
we're gonna prove that
we're not gonna screw it up.
411
00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,964
That's right.
With a little bit of hype.
412
00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:49,532
- [both] Mmm.
- No hype.
413
00:15:49,598 --> 00:15:51,201
- A little bit.
- Mmm. No.
414
00:15:51,268 --> 00:15:52,468
All right,
the appropriate amount.
415
00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:53,937
Hmm, no. Less.
416
00:15:54,004 --> 00:15:56,039
Do this. That.
417
00:15:56,106 --> 00:15:58,307
Oh, I'm bringing this much,
and if we use it, we use it.
418
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,409
Oh, my God, there's only three.
419
00:16:00,476 --> 00:16:01,677
There's only three laminates.
420
00:16:01,744 --> 00:16:03,445
Perfect. I'm out. God's plan.
421
00:16:03,512 --> 00:16:04,915
No, no, no.
What are you talking about?
422
00:16:04,981 --> 00:16:07,349
We'll settle this the way
we do every big decision
423
00:16:07,416 --> 00:16:08,985
in our life, okay?
424
00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:10,619
The four of us will compete
in hidden camera challenges
425
00:16:10,686 --> 00:16:12,022
on the way down to Miami,
426
00:16:12,088 --> 00:16:14,490
and the loser does not
go to that party.
427
00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:17,526
[rock music]
428
00:16:17,593 --> 00:16:19,129
- Road trip, guys!
- Let's do it.
429
00:16:19,196 --> 00:16:20,329
Let's just get in the car
and do it.
430
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:21,564
- Road trip, baby.
- Yeah!
431
00:16:21,630 --> 00:16:23,233
Guys, I have the perfect car.
432
00:16:23,300 --> 00:16:25,035
- You guys are gonna love this.
- [Murr] Oh, thank God, yes.
433
00:16:25,101 --> 00:16:27,703
Every part of my body
is rejecting this plan.
434
00:16:27,770 --> 00:16:28,838
Who pays the bill, by the way?
435
00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:31,208
I pay the bill? I pay the bill?
436
00:16:31,274 --> 00:16:34,743
[upbeat hip-hop music]
437
00:16:42,751 --> 00:16:43,619
Huh?
438
00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:46,089
- Shotgun.
- What? No!
439
00:16:46,156 --> 00:16:47,690
Yeah, I saw it, and I said it.
440
00:16:47,756 --> 00:16:49,025
- That's not even right.
- [Joe] Yeah, that's the rule.
441
00:16:49,092 --> 00:16:50,426
I get carsick.
I can't sit back there.
442
00:16:50,492 --> 00:16:51,694
Your carsick is not my problem.
443
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:52,963
- [Murr] No.
- Will you guys...
444
00:16:53,029 --> 00:16:54,064
Please, please,
can you veto this?
445
00:16:54,130 --> 00:16:55,165
I will vomit everywhere.
446
00:16:55,232 --> 00:16:56,398
Veto it? Why would I veto that?
447
00:16:56,465 --> 00:16:57,833
It's the rules of shotgun.
448
00:16:57,901 --> 00:16:59,535
You see the car, you say,
"Shotgun," you sit there.
449
00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:01,370
Joe gets shotgun
'cause he respects the leather.
450
00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:02,538
- Thank you, sir.
- Hey, what...
451
00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:04,107
Whatever gave you
the impression
452
00:17:04,174 --> 00:17:05,808
- I didn't respect it?
- You scuffed the leather, man.
453
00:17:05,876 --> 00:17:08,644
That's like punching
Grandma Lucia in her face.
454
00:17:08,711 --> 00:17:10,113
She killed herself
in the back left seat, right?
455
00:17:10,180 --> 00:17:12,514
Why don't we all get off
our high horses here?
456
00:17:12,581 --> 00:17:13,782
All right, it's not
that great of a car.
457
00:17:13,849 --> 00:17:15,517
- It's not a Corvette.
- No, I know.
458
00:17:15,584 --> 00:17:17,120
It's a Crown Vic.
I know what this car is.
459
00:17:17,187 --> 00:17:18,955
I mean, it's the vehicular
equivalent of Baltic Avenue.
460
00:17:19,022 --> 00:17:20,056
Baltic Avenue?
461
00:17:20,123 --> 00:17:21,657
What are you,
going Monopoly on me?
462
00:17:21,724 --> 00:17:23,692
You're the thimble.
Yeah, and do not pass go.
463
00:17:23,759 --> 00:17:25,761
You go directly
to the back seat, buddy.
464
00:17:25,828 --> 00:17:27,830
I feel like
I'm being sandbagged.
465
00:17:27,898 --> 00:17:29,698
Question, should I take
a quick shit here or should I...
466
00:17:29,765 --> 00:17:31,634
- Would you guys just get in the car already?
- Okay.
467
00:17:32,835 --> 00:17:34,803
♪ Hey, baby ♪
468
00:17:34,871 --> 00:17:37,107
♪ You gotta remember ♪
469
00:17:38,407 --> 00:17:40,409
- [Joe] The trip it is.
- Whoo-hoo!
470
00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,012
- Yeah!
- Oh, you know what?
471
00:17:42,078 --> 00:17:42,946
[music stops]
472
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:46,049
- Ho!
- Oh!
473
00:17:46,116 --> 00:17:47,716
[all] Stacy!
474
00:17:47,783 --> 00:17:49,618
Yo, baby, all right.
475
00:17:49,685 --> 00:17:51,288
- Now we're ready.
- Now we're ready.
476
00:17:51,354 --> 00:17:53,189
- Let's do this.
- Let's go!
477
00:17:53,256 --> 00:17:57,693
♪ Come on
And look me in the face ♪
478
00:17:57,760 --> 00:18:00,897
♪ 'Cause I can tell
That something ♪
479
00:18:00,964 --> 00:18:03,565
♪ Is bringing you down ♪
480
00:18:03,632 --> 00:18:05,168
♪ Bringing you down ♪
481
00:18:05,235 --> 00:18:09,906
♪ Is it the rumor
That another girl ♪
482
00:18:09,973 --> 00:18:12,741
♪ Wants to take your place ♪
483
00:18:12,808 --> 00:18:14,710
♪ I think
She's after your heart ♪
484
00:18:14,777 --> 00:18:17,314
♪ Well, I've been hearing
The stories ♪
485
00:18:17,380 --> 00:18:19,715
♪ They're going around ♪
486
00:18:19,782 --> 00:18:21,717
♪ All of my friends are taken ♪
487
00:18:21,784 --> 00:18:23,552
♪ Hey, baby ♪
488
00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:27,057
Oh, son!
489
00:18:27,123 --> 00:18:28,624
- If they have a...
- I think I have one.
490
00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:30,093
- What's up, bro?
- Welcome.
491
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:32,461
- Grizzly Adams.
- Oh, we should play Megaballs.
492
00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:34,364
- Who?
- Oh, you got that Megaballs?
493
00:18:34,431 --> 00:18:35,899
- What?
- [laughs]
494
00:18:35,966 --> 00:18:38,234
Talk to me about your
collection of jazz, smooth.
495
00:18:38,301 --> 00:18:40,070
I don't know, man,
there's, like, two aisles.
496
00:18:40,136 --> 00:18:42,538
- Which one?
- Dude, I just work here.
497
00:18:42,604 --> 00:18:43,974
That's why I'm asking you.
498
00:18:45,275 --> 00:18:46,910
- Oh.
- Ooh.
499
00:18:49,611 --> 00:18:51,114
- Let me ask you guys something.
- Hmm?
500
00:18:51,181 --> 00:18:52,949
You guys ever wonder
what Murray gets up to
501
00:18:53,016 --> 00:18:55,018
- when we're not with him?
- I would love to know.
502
00:18:55,085 --> 00:18:56,552
We've been friends with him
my whole life.
503
00:18:56,618 --> 00:18:58,221
I go to sleep
wondering what he does.
504
00:18:58,288 --> 00:19:00,156
- Hmm.
- I got ideas.
505
00:19:00,223 --> 00:19:01,291
- Yeah?
- Tell me.
506
00:19:01,358 --> 00:19:02,624
- He traveled a lot.
- Yeah.
507
00:19:02,691 --> 00:19:04,526
That time he went
on that tour with Yanni
508
00:19:04,593 --> 00:19:06,162
in South America.
509
00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:07,763
The Rainbows to Rainforest
Tour, I remember that.
510
00:19:07,830 --> 00:19:09,366
Yeah, but he kept
using air quotes with that.
511
00:19:09,432 --> 00:19:10,733
- He did that with you?
- Yeah,
512
00:19:10,799 --> 00:19:13,103
like, "If you need me,
I'll be with Yanni
513
00:19:13,169 --> 00:19:14,437
in South America."
514
00:19:14,536 --> 00:19:15,838
Now, what does that mean?
515
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:18,041
Every part of that sentence
is a fallacy?
516
00:19:19,442 --> 00:19:20,609
"I-I'll be unavailable."
517
00:19:20,676 --> 00:19:21,911
- [laughs] Whoa.
- What is that?
518
00:19:21,978 --> 00:19:23,480
It's air quotes.
We're all doing it.
519
00:19:23,545 --> 00:19:24,948
- No, no, no. What's that?
- Unavailable. It's air quotes.
520
00:19:25,015 --> 00:19:26,449
You're not calling
four people over,
521
00:19:26,515 --> 00:19:27,516
you gotta flip that
and reverse it.
522
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:28,751
Oh, all right, Missy Elliott.
523
00:19:28,817 --> 00:19:30,053
- I wasn't sure. Got it.
- Fellas?
524
00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:31,520
- Yo?
- Got it.
525
00:19:33,555 --> 00:19:35,959
Right? For the road.
For the road?
526
00:19:36,026 --> 00:19:37,027
Right?
527
00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:39,762
I don't need him.
528
00:19:39,828 --> 00:19:42,932
[upbeat rock music]
529
00:19:53,642 --> 00:19:55,178
[Q] DC, baby.
530
00:19:57,846 --> 00:19:59,315
[Sal] So today,
we're stopping people
531
00:19:59,382 --> 00:20:00,783
and telling them
we gotta speak at a memorial.
532
00:20:00,849 --> 00:20:02,651
The only thing is that
we've written...
533
00:20:02,718 --> 00:20:04,187
- Each other's.
- Each other's eulogies.
534
00:20:04,254 --> 00:20:05,687
So, at the end,
we'll have to ask them,
535
00:20:05,754 --> 00:20:07,190
"Do you think it's fit to say?"
536
00:20:07,257 --> 00:20:10,193
And if they say no, we lose.
If they say yes, we win.
537
00:20:10,260 --> 00:20:12,062
[sighs] It's a sad day.
538
00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:13,463
[laughs]
539
00:20:13,530 --> 00:20:16,900
This just shows you
how fleeting life is, guys.
540
00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,101
[Joe] How about this old guy?
541
00:20:19,035 --> 00:20:20,636
[Murr] You got the right idea.
542
00:20:20,702 --> 00:20:22,539
- Ooh, too many steps.
- Can't handle it.
543
00:20:22,604 --> 00:20:24,074
You just, you guys
are in town just visiting
544
00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:25,774
- for the tours, the sights?
- Yeah.
545
00:20:25,841 --> 00:20:27,210
[Q] Look at the urn.
546
00:20:27,277 --> 00:20:28,912
I'm in town, unfortunately,
for sad reasons.
547
00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:30,712
- Got a, um...
- Bucket of ashes right here.
548
00:20:30,779 --> 00:20:32,248
- I'm giving the eulogy.
- Oh.
549
00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:33,749
Yeah, at a funeral.
550
00:20:33,816 --> 00:20:35,717
He got a great mark.
This guy's so into the idea.
551
00:20:35,784 --> 00:20:38,121
We're doing the thing by the water
and spreading the ashes, you know.
552
00:20:38,188 --> 00:20:39,522
Oh, yeah.
553
00:20:39,588 --> 00:20:41,357
., 00:20:43,026
Is that why people come
to the reflection pool, though?
555
00:20:43,093 --> 00:20:44,726
I'm pretty sure you're not
allowed to even do that.
556
00:20:44,793 --> 00:20:45,962
Can I run the eulogy by you?
It takes one second.
557
00:20:46,029 --> 00:20:47,163
It's only
a couple sentences long.
558
00:20:47,230 --> 00:20:49,332
You're very brave
for doing that.
559
00:20:49,399 --> 00:20:50,699
Here's the eulogy I wrote.
560
00:20:50,766 --> 00:20:52,502
"Grandma." [clears throat]
561
00:20:52,569 --> 00:20:53,802
"Grandma was...
562
00:20:53,870 --> 00:20:55,704
Grandma was
a straight up bitch."
563
00:20:55,771 --> 00:20:57,606
[laughter]
564
00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:59,876
"You know it, Grandpa.
We all know it.
565
00:20:59,943 --> 00:21:01,144
And now she's dead
566
00:21:01,211 --> 00:21:03,046
and we've got
her goddamn money.
567
00:21:03,113 --> 00:21:04,813
Let's go to China Buffet
to celebrate
568
00:21:04,881 --> 00:21:06,449
this bitch's
one-way ticket to hell."
569
00:21:06,516 --> 00:21:07,749
- [laughter]
- Wow.
570
00:21:07,816 --> 00:21:08,952
What do you think?
Is it ready to go?
571
00:21:09,018 --> 00:21:10,487
[laughs]
572
00:21:10,553 --> 00:21:12,956
I don't know what other
people would think about that.
573
00:21:13,022 --> 00:21:14,524
We all felt this way
about Grandma.
574
00:21:14,591 --> 00:21:15,558
- Oh.
- We all did.
575
00:21:15,624 --> 00:21:17,260
Including Grandpa.
576
00:21:17,327 --> 00:21:18,561
So you think I should just read
this or should I change it?
577
00:21:18,627 --> 00:21:19,996
[laughs] I don't... I wouldn't.
578
00:21:20,063 --> 00:21:21,264
- You wouldn't read it?
- No.
579
00:21:21,331 --> 00:21:23,566
[all] Oh! [laughter]
580
00:21:23,632 --> 00:21:24,567
I'm not good
with public speaking.
581
00:21:24,633 --> 00:21:25,734
Forget the urn. Walk away.
582
00:21:25,801 --> 00:21:27,103
All right.
Well, take care, sir.
583
00:21:27,170 --> 00:21:28,837
- Have a great vacation. Enjoy.
- Yeah.
584
00:21:28,905 --> 00:21:30,507
- Take care, now.
- You bet.
585
00:21:30,573 --> 00:21:31,574
What do you want with this?
586
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:34,410
[laughter]
587
00:21:34,477 --> 00:21:35,811
Sir?
588
00:21:37,046 --> 00:21:38,047
[laughs]
589
00:21:42,952 --> 00:21:43,887
[buzzer blares]
590
00:21:43,953 --> 00:21:46,456
[birds calling]
591
00:21:46,523 --> 00:21:48,158
Guys, can I ask you a question?
592
00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:49,259
Here we go.
593
00:21:49,325 --> 00:21:50,894
It's just a few words.
I'm very nervous.
594
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,562
Can I read it to you
just to say it out loud
595
00:21:52,629 --> 00:21:54,097
- and tell me if you like it?
- Sure.
596
00:21:54,164 --> 00:21:55,731
I'm so nervous.
The family's meeting me. Yeah.
597
00:21:55,797 --> 00:21:58,535
Okay, uh,
"Thank you all for coming
598
00:21:58,601 --> 00:22:01,871
to the spreading of the ashes
of Joey Dumps."
599
00:22:01,938 --> 00:22:03,206
- Joey Dumps.
- Joey Dumps.
600
00:22:03,273 --> 00:22:04,974
"What could be said
about Joey Dumps?
601
00:22:05,041 --> 00:22:06,509
He took his lumps."
602
00:22:06,576 --> 00:22:08,111
[laughter]
603
00:22:08,178 --> 00:22:09,546
"Joey Dumps was there for me.
604
00:22:09,612 --> 00:22:11,147
He let me see those dumps.
605
00:22:11,214 --> 00:22:13,049
- Dumps-da-dumps-dumps-dumps."
- [laughter]
606
00:22:13,116 --> 00:22:14,284
"When you were down
in the dumps,
607
00:22:14,350 --> 00:22:16,019
who was there for you...
Joey Dumps.
608
00:22:16,085 --> 00:22:17,487
Dumps like a truck,
truck, truck."
609
00:22:17,554 --> 00:22:18,855
[laughter]
610
00:22:18,922 --> 00:22:20,924
"Guys like a what, what, what.
611
00:22:20,990 --> 00:22:24,661
So to honor his last wish,
we now dump Dumps' ashes,
612
00:22:24,726 --> 00:22:26,529
and then go listen
to the final episode
613
00:22:26,596 --> 00:22:28,364
of his baseball-themed
podcast,
614
00:22:28,431 --> 00:22:31,434
'Joey Dumps Humps Chump Umps
in the Rumps.'"
615
00:22:31,501 --> 00:22:33,336
[laughter]
616
00:22:33,403 --> 00:22:35,939
- [Q] It's so Joey Dumps.
- It's very Joey Dumps.
617
00:22:36,005 --> 00:22:37,706
- Do you think it...
- It's very funny.
618
00:22:37,773 --> 00:22:39,876
- Should I change anything?
- No.
619
00:22:39,943 --> 00:22:41,444
- No? Ah.
- Oh!
620
00:22:41,511 --> 00:22:43,845
- It's a great memorial.
- Thank you very much.
621
00:22:43,913 --> 00:22:45,682
- I appreciate you guys.
- Thank you. Good luck.
622
00:22:45,747 --> 00:22:47,550
- Thank you.
- He was a big Sisqó fan.
623
00:22:47,617 --> 00:22:48,985
Wow. Ready to go.
624
00:22:49,052 --> 00:22:51,588
- Good job with that, Sal.
- [Murr] Sal with a W.
625
00:22:51,654 --> 00:22:52,821
My eulogy game, I crush.
626
00:22:52,889 --> 00:22:54,023
I give a good eulogy.
627
00:22:57,393 --> 00:22:58,561
[Joe] You guys ready?
628
00:22:58,628 --> 00:23:00,163
[Murr] Yeah, the cameras
aren't on, but...
629
00:23:00,230 --> 00:23:01,297
[Joe] How we doing?
Cameras aren't ready yet?
630
00:23:01,364 --> 00:23:02,932
Guys, the secret is to...
631
00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:07,537
pique interest,
pique the curiosity of people.
632
00:23:07,604 --> 00:23:09,606
Could you just hold this up,
and I'm just gonna...
633
00:23:09,672 --> 00:23:11,341
Yeah, just hold that up,
yeah, like that, it's perfect.
634
00:23:11,407 --> 00:23:12,942
[laughing]
635
00:23:13,009 --> 00:23:14,877
They're holding ashes.
636
00:23:14,944 --> 00:23:16,179
There we go. That's great.
637
00:23:16,246 --> 00:23:17,779
- Yeah, I'm here for a memorial.
- Oh.
638
00:23:17,846 --> 00:23:21,017
So I'm about to give
a eulogy, um, about this.
639
00:23:21,084 --> 00:23:22,685
So I'm just getting prepared.
640
00:23:22,751 --> 00:23:24,387
You mind if I just say it out
loud to you guys real quick?
641
00:23:24,454 --> 00:23:26,489
- Sure. Go on.
- Yeah. Hold her. Thanks.
642
00:23:26,556 --> 00:23:27,657
[Joe] Okay.
643
00:23:27,724 --> 00:23:28,691
Sometimes he makes it
look easy.
644
00:23:28,757 --> 00:23:30,792
"This that eulogy. You know.
645
00:23:30,860 --> 00:23:32,695
You know what it is,
gang, gang.
646
00:23:32,761 --> 00:23:34,731
Devin died. He got got."
647
00:23:34,796 --> 00:23:35,965
[laughter]
648
00:23:36,032 --> 00:23:37,467
"He got shot. He loved life.
649
00:23:37,533 --> 00:23:38,901
He loved wife, my wife.
650
00:23:38,968 --> 00:23:41,204
I shot that mother.
Eleven shots in the leg."
651
00:23:41,271 --> 00:23:42,905
- In the leg?
- "I ain't supposed to be here,
652
00:23:42,972 --> 00:23:44,741
but y'all know what?
Y'all can scratch.
653
00:23:44,806 --> 00:23:46,609
I came here
to see him put down
654
00:23:46,676 --> 00:23:47,710
- and piss on the grave."
- Oh!
655
00:23:47,776 --> 00:23:49,712
[laughter]
656
00:23:49,778 --> 00:23:52,415
That's when I would take...
Expose myself and start peeing.
657
00:23:52,482 --> 00:23:54,150
- "Expose myself and..."
- And then remember
658
00:23:54,217 --> 00:23:56,085
to drink a lot of water prior,
as a note to myself.
659
00:23:56,152 --> 00:23:58,621
And then escape out
the southeast exit...
660
00:23:58,688 --> 00:24:00,023
- [Q] Escape.
- Of the cemetery.
661
00:24:00,089 --> 00:24:01,457
And it's a right on red.
662
00:24:01,524 --> 00:24:02,592
[laughter]
663
00:24:02,659 --> 00:24:03,960
So that's how I would do that.
664
00:24:04,027 --> 00:24:05,862
- Way too extreme.
- Is it too extreme?
665
00:24:05,928 --> 00:24:08,398
[both] Oh!
666
00:24:08,464 --> 00:24:09,632
Yes!
667
00:24:09,699 --> 00:24:11,100
I should probably just say
he was a good guy.
668
00:24:11,167 --> 00:24:12,602
Yeah, just probably...
Yeah, yeah.
669
00:24:12,669 --> 00:24:13,703
I think that's all.
That's why you're MC, yeah.
670
00:24:13,770 --> 00:24:14,836
So not good to go, then.
671
00:24:14,904 --> 00:24:16,406
[buzzer blares]
672
00:24:21,611 --> 00:24:24,013
[Joe] Here goes Q. He looks good.
He's all cleaned up.
673
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:25,415
- Q always looks good.
- Take a picture?
674
00:24:25,481 --> 00:24:28,851
- Yeah, no problem.
- Here you go, Q, you're in.
675
00:24:28,918 --> 00:24:30,453
Got it. There you go.
Thank you.
676
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:33,423
Thanks, I'm, uh, doing
a eulogy, actually.
677
00:24:33,489 --> 00:24:35,824
We're supposed to dump
the ashes in here,
678
00:24:35,892 --> 00:24:37,293
but it turns out
you're not allowed to.
679
00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:38,795
Do you mind if I run
the speech by you?
680
00:24:38,861 --> 00:24:40,797
'Cause I'm super nervous.
It's super short.
681
00:24:40,863 --> 00:24:42,965
"What to say
about Cousin Frieda?
682
00:24:43,966 --> 00:24:45,368
Sure, she had loose morals
683
00:24:45,435 --> 00:24:48,004
and a libido that wouldn't
quit, and that's..."
684
00:24:48,805 --> 00:24:49,872
- How old are you?
- 13.
685
00:24:49,939 --> 00:24:52,075
13? All right, cool.
686
00:24:52,141 --> 00:24:54,711
- I'm good.
- [laughter]
687
00:24:54,777 --> 00:24:57,046
That's it. You're out.
688
00:24:57,113 --> 00:25:00,249
It's all about how she died
'cause of STDs.
689
00:25:00,316 --> 00:25:01,551
[laughter]
690
00:25:01,617 --> 00:25:02,552
[buzzer blares]
691
00:25:03,986 --> 00:25:07,056
[upbeat rock music]
692
00:25:11,761 --> 00:25:13,296
- Gettin' up.
- Ready to go.
693
00:25:24,574 --> 00:25:26,909
- Can you guys humor me?
- Always.
694
00:25:28,144 --> 00:25:29,712
Can we find a cave?
695
00:25:29,779 --> 00:25:31,948
[laughter]
696
00:25:32,014 --> 00:25:33,216
Don't ask.
697
00:25:33,282 --> 00:25:35,551
- Wait, it depends, for who.
- You.
698
00:25:35,618 --> 00:25:38,154
[laughter]
699
00:25:38,221 --> 00:25:42,225
This, I mean, this idea
basically was a layup for us.
700
00:25:42,291 --> 00:25:44,026
Just how do we make
Joe's stupid face
701
00:25:44,093 --> 00:25:45,294
look even more stupid?
702
00:25:45,361 --> 00:25:48,831
The conceit here
is Joe lost his tour
703
00:25:48,898 --> 00:25:50,800
about three decades ago.
[laughter]
704
00:25:50,868 --> 00:25:53,336
And he's been living
under the earth ever since.
705
00:25:53,403 --> 00:25:56,239
Middle of the summer,
when it's 110 degrees outside,
706
00:25:56,305 --> 00:25:58,107
this is the place to be,
I'll tell you that.
707
00:25:58,174 --> 00:25:59,976
When you guys see Joe
for the first time,
708
00:26:00,042 --> 00:26:01,544
that's the first time
we're seeing Joe.
709
00:26:01,611 --> 00:26:02,779
I can't wait for this.
710
00:26:02,845 --> 00:26:03,881
So as we're coming
through here,
711
00:26:03,946 --> 00:26:05,281
kind of look along the ceiling.
712
00:26:05,348 --> 00:26:07,049
We got lots
of these little divots.
713
00:26:07,116 --> 00:26:09,018
Here we go.
714
00:26:09,085 --> 00:26:10,586
You'll notice these cracks.
715
00:26:10,653 --> 00:26:13,456
That's the water movement
when all this was underwater.
716
00:26:13,523 --> 00:26:14,657
Hello? [echoing]
717
00:26:14,724 --> 00:26:16,225
- Oh.
- Oh.
718
00:26:16,292 --> 00:26:19,195
- Yo.
- Oh, hey, man.
719
00:26:19,262 --> 00:26:20,596
- Oh.
- [laughter]
720
00:26:20,663 --> 00:26:24,033
- Are you all right?
- Yeah. What's up?
721
00:26:24,100 --> 00:26:25,903
[laughter]
722
00:26:25,968 --> 00:26:28,337
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
723
00:26:28,404 --> 00:26:29,739
[laughter]
724
00:26:29,806 --> 00:26:32,742
[Sal] Look at their faces.
They're shocked.
725
00:26:32,809 --> 00:26:35,011
Oh, my God. For real, though?
726
00:26:35,077 --> 00:26:36,779
That's freakin' me out.
727
00:26:36,846 --> 00:26:37,980
It's freakin' you out?
728
00:26:38,047 --> 00:26:39,215
Imagine what this is like
for me.
729
00:26:39,282 --> 00:26:40,483
You all right, dude?
730
00:26:40,550 --> 00:26:41,717
No, I've been
to too many movies.
731
00:26:41,784 --> 00:26:42,853
Oh, he's gross.
732
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:44,888
I got lost
a little while ago.
733
00:26:44,954 --> 00:26:46,155
Hey.
734
00:26:46,222 --> 00:26:47,457
I didn't think he was...
I didn't think
735
00:26:47,523 --> 00:26:49,058
he was gonna come out
of this cave.
736
00:26:49,125 --> 00:26:51,694
- I was waiting for my parents.
- [laughter]
737
00:26:51,761 --> 00:26:53,396
I've been down here since 1987.
738
00:26:53,463 --> 00:26:55,131
[laughter]
739
00:26:55,198 --> 00:26:56,632
Dad said,
"Don't have a cow, man.
740
00:26:56,699 --> 00:26:57,733
Talk to the hand."
741
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,069
And I was here...
742
00:27:00,136 --> 00:27:01,637
I got all turned around.
743
00:27:01,704 --> 00:27:04,106
What happened was I was looking
for the gift shop...
744
00:27:05,074 --> 00:27:06,442
It's on down the left.
745
00:27:06,509 --> 00:27:07,977
[laughter]
746
00:27:08,044 --> 00:27:10,012
I went on my ass
to the left here...
747
00:27:10,079 --> 00:27:11,380
I like your shirt.
748
00:27:11,447 --> 00:27:13,483
- I'm the beef.
- [laughs]
749
00:27:13,549 --> 00:27:15,751
Joe, be proud
of your "I'm the Beef" shirt.
750
00:27:15,818 --> 00:27:17,855
- Back of...
- I'm the beef.
751
00:27:17,921 --> 00:27:20,256
[Sal laughs] I'm the beef.
752
00:27:20,323 --> 00:27:21,491
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to interrupt.
753
00:27:21,557 --> 00:27:23,159
- I'll just fold in.
- Oh, okay.
754
00:27:23,226 --> 00:27:25,228
Well, the water...
755
00:27:25,294 --> 00:27:26,796
Again, the water
that moves through it,
756
00:27:26,864 --> 00:27:28,531
that just opens up the cave.
757
00:27:28,598 --> 00:27:30,800
So this water,
usually, with the rain,
758
00:27:30,868 --> 00:27:32,034
will come up over that way.
759
00:27:32,101 --> 00:27:33,269
Y'all have any questions?
760
00:27:33,336 --> 00:27:34,303
I have...
I have a lot of questions.
761
00:27:34,370 --> 00:27:36,506
Uh, yeah. Go ahead.
762
00:27:36,572 --> 00:27:38,808
Let's start
with what year is it?
763
00:27:38,876 --> 00:27:41,344
- It's 2018, sir.
- Okay.
764
00:27:41,410 --> 00:27:44,514
Let me check my pager.
[laughter]
765
00:27:44,580 --> 00:27:46,984
Joe, have them fall in line
and walk in front of them
766
00:27:47,049 --> 00:27:48,484
- like you're a sergeant.
- Why don't you...
767
00:27:48,551 --> 00:27:50,286
Why don't you let me
just tell everybody?
768
00:27:50,353 --> 00:27:51,454
- You're pissed at everybody.
- This water comes every...
769
00:27:51,521 --> 00:27:52,788
- Come on, Neil.
- [laughing]
770
00:27:54,090 --> 00:27:55,424
This is what happened.
771
00:27:55,491 --> 00:27:57,093
You go up this ravine
and it's a dead end.
772
00:27:57,159 --> 00:28:00,796
- Goes up, like, 200 feet.
- 350 feet, Neil.
773
00:28:00,864 --> 00:28:03,332
Goes to 350 feet, okay?
774
00:28:03,399 --> 00:28:04,600
I mean, if you're gonna
talk out your ass,
775
00:28:04,667 --> 00:28:06,102
turn around
so I can understand you.
776
00:28:06,168 --> 00:28:09,472
[laughter]
777
00:28:09,539 --> 00:28:11,407
[Q] Anybody know who shot J.R.?
778
00:28:11,474 --> 00:28:13,109
Do you guys know who shot J.R.?
779
00:28:13,175 --> 00:28:15,344
[laughter]
780
00:28:15,411 --> 00:28:17,747
'Cause I missed...
J.R. from Dallas.
781
00:28:17,813 --> 00:28:18,982
I missed that.
782
00:28:19,048 --> 00:28:20,750
It's been on my mind
for so long.
783
00:28:20,816 --> 00:28:23,819
- Dad?
- Dad? What?
784
00:28:23,887 --> 00:28:25,821
I didn't say shit.
785
00:28:25,889 --> 00:28:28,057
[laughter]
786
00:28:28,124 --> 00:28:30,027
You guys,
follow me out of here.
787
00:28:30,092 --> 00:28:31,227
I'm dying to get outside.
788
00:28:31,294 --> 00:28:32,528
Did Mondale get a second term?
789
00:28:32,595 --> 00:28:34,430
Did Mondale get a second term?
790
00:28:34,497 --> 00:28:37,233
[laughter]
791
00:28:37,300 --> 00:28:40,403
Uh, okay, we're still
rolling here, guys.
792
00:28:40,469 --> 00:28:41,771
- [Joe screaming]
- [all screaming]
793
00:28:41,837 --> 00:28:44,707
You fucking son of a bitch.
Oh, my God.
794
00:28:44,774 --> 00:28:47,143
Oh, my God.
It scared the shit out of me.
795
00:28:47,209 --> 00:28:48,711
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God!
796
00:28:51,949 --> 00:28:55,084
[muffled music playing]
797
00:28:57,453 --> 00:28:59,121
Turn up the tension.
Pedal, pedal.
798
00:28:59,188 --> 00:29:00,489
- Hey, bud, what's up?
- Hey.
799
00:29:00,556 --> 00:29:04,226
You, uh, have
a laptop charger or...
800
00:29:04,293 --> 00:29:05,661
Which one?
USB-C or the older ones?
801
00:29:05,728 --> 00:29:08,564
Let's go, ladies!
Keep it going!
802
00:29:08,631 --> 00:29:11,133
Work the quads,
work the glutes.
803
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:12,468
Anyways, what can I do
for you, bud?
804
00:29:12,535 --> 00:29:14,337
- "Let's go, ladies"?
- Let's go, yeah.
805
00:29:14,403 --> 00:29:15,906
Who are these ladies?
806
00:29:15,973 --> 00:29:18,240
Do me a favor, keep 'em
encouraged while I'm gone.
807
00:29:20,676 --> 00:29:22,712
Let's go!
808
00:29:22,778 --> 00:29:25,048
You are doggin' it!
I want to see more out of you!
809
00:29:25,114 --> 00:29:26,382
You over there,
you're looking good.
810
00:29:26,449 --> 00:29:28,085
- Let's go!
- Sorry, that's too much.
811
00:29:28,150 --> 00:29:29,518
- That's too much.
- Yeah, I'm so sorry.
812
00:29:29,585 --> 00:29:30,854
I don't have the USB-C,
I have the older laptop,
813
00:29:30,921 --> 00:29:32,022
so I don't got it, bud.
814
00:29:32,089 --> 00:29:33,489
Good?
815
00:29:33,556 --> 00:29:34,958
- Did you...
- I haven't got it, okay?
816
00:29:35,025 --> 00:29:38,160
Come on, ladies!
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
817
00:29:38,227 --> 00:29:41,731
[rock music]
818
00:29:53,242 --> 00:29:55,344
[Sal] Q is on a boat
with a couple of strangers,
819
00:29:55,411 --> 00:29:57,413
and we've arranged
for this boat to pull up
820
00:29:57,480 --> 00:29:58,882
on someone in distress.
821
00:29:58,949 --> 00:30:01,684
Q doesn't know who, how,
or what the situation is.
822
00:30:01,751 --> 00:30:03,753
In that moment,
the captain's gonna say,
823
00:30:03,819 --> 00:30:05,956
because of the law,
he cannot accept
824
00:30:06,023 --> 00:30:07,256
anyone else on the boat
825
00:30:07,323 --> 00:30:08,892
unless it's unanimously
agreed upon.
826
00:30:08,959 --> 00:30:10,726
The catch is that we're
gonna give him the reason
827
00:30:10,793 --> 00:30:12,328
why this guy
can't get on the boat.
828
00:30:13,362 --> 00:30:14,664
You see that?
829
00:30:14,730 --> 00:30:17,366
Guy over there
flagging us down.
830
00:30:17,433 --> 00:30:19,435
- A guy?
- [Joe] Uh-oh, Q. Uh-oh, Q.
831
00:30:19,502 --> 00:30:20,670
Somebody's in the water.
832
00:30:23,639 --> 00:30:25,042
- [Joe] You see who that is, Q?
- [laughter]
833
00:30:25,108 --> 00:30:28,611
[Murr] Is that a U.S. soldier?
834
00:30:28,678 --> 00:30:30,680
- A hero?
- [Joe] An American hero.
835
00:30:30,746 --> 00:30:33,150
- It's G.I. Float.
- [laughter]
836
00:30:33,215 --> 00:30:35,718
I'm a U.S. soldier in distress.
837
00:30:35,785 --> 00:30:36,887
Can you please help?
838
00:30:36,953 --> 00:30:38,088
We have to make sure
that everyone's okay
839
00:30:38,155 --> 00:30:39,321
with bringing him on.
840
00:30:39,388 --> 00:30:40,322
Are you guys
all right with that?
841
00:30:40,389 --> 00:30:41,724
Yeah, that's all right.
842
00:30:41,791 --> 00:30:43,325
You're okay
with bringing him on?
843
00:30:43,392 --> 00:30:46,963
If he's in distress,
then we want to help.
844
00:30:47,030 --> 00:30:48,364
You okay to bring him on?
845
00:30:48,431 --> 00:30:49,799
Well, hear me out.
846
00:30:49,866 --> 00:30:51,434
I mean, we help a solider
in a dinghy,
847
00:30:51,500 --> 00:30:53,335
what's that gonna do
for his confidence?
848
00:30:53,402 --> 00:30:55,571
If we... [laughs]
849
00:30:55,638 --> 00:30:57,606
If we were to help
a soldier in a dinghy,
850
00:30:57,673 --> 00:30:59,575
what's that do
for his confidence?
851
00:30:59,642 --> 00:31:01,510
[laughter]
852
00:31:01,577 --> 00:31:04,147
We have backed him
into a corner like no other.
853
00:31:04,213 --> 00:31:06,315
- Where's he from?
- Where did you serve?
854
00:31:06,382 --> 00:31:09,052
- Iraq.
- Oh, so he survived Iraq.
855
00:31:09,119 --> 00:31:10,486
He's okay.
856
00:31:10,553 --> 00:31:13,090
- I thank you for your service.
- [laughter]
857
00:31:13,156 --> 00:31:15,825
I'm just saying, we don't really
know anything about the guy.
858
00:31:15,892 --> 00:31:17,928
They sell that outfit
at any Army-Navy store.
859
00:31:17,994 --> 00:31:20,463
- [laughter]
- You know?
860
00:31:20,529 --> 00:31:21,898
How is this even an issue?
861
00:31:21,965 --> 00:31:26,302
[laughter]
862
00:31:26,368 --> 00:31:27,703
I know this looks like
I don't want
863
00:31:27,770 --> 00:31:29,206
to save a U.S. soldier
in distress...
864
00:31:29,305 --> 00:31:31,007
- No, it doesn't.
- It doesn't? Great.
865
00:31:31,074 --> 00:31:32,175
[laughter]
866
00:31:32,241 --> 00:31:33,977
- Oh! Oh, my God!
- Wow.
867
00:31:34,044 --> 00:31:36,512
How is he convincing people
not to help a soldier?
868
00:31:36,579 --> 00:31:38,915
I know, right, a unanimous
vote from you guys, seriously.
869
00:31:38,982 --> 00:31:40,150
Yeah, we're good.
870
00:31:40,217 --> 00:31:41,417
We talked it out,
871
00:31:41,484 --> 00:31:43,519
and we're okay
just bailing on him.
872
00:31:43,586 --> 00:31:45,088
I feel bad
leaving him out there.
873
00:31:45,155 --> 00:31:46,555
- Yes!
- Oh.
874
00:31:46,622 --> 00:31:48,959
I need an answer
from each of you, then, so...
875
00:31:49,025 --> 00:31:51,128
I'll go with whatever
the group decides.
876
00:31:51,194 --> 00:31:52,328
Let him on the boat.
877
00:31:52,394 --> 00:31:53,562
- Yeah?
- [all] Oh!
878
00:31:53,629 --> 00:31:56,432
- Let him on?
- Yeah!
879
00:31:56,499 --> 00:31:57,833
Where were you going to?
880
00:31:57,901 --> 00:32:00,269
Uh, actually,
I was trying to get to Miami
881
00:32:00,336 --> 00:32:02,072
to see the Paula Abdul concert.
882
00:32:02,139 --> 00:32:03,606
[laughter]
883
00:32:03,672 --> 00:32:06,009
- Aren't we all.
- [laughter]
884
00:32:06,076 --> 00:32:07,443
[buzzer blares]
885
00:32:11,915 --> 00:32:13,582
[Q] This looks like
a real party crowd
886
00:32:13,649 --> 00:32:15,919
you have out there, pal.
[laughs]
887
00:32:15,986 --> 00:32:17,820
We're about to roll up
on somebody.
888
00:32:17,888 --> 00:32:20,456
Here we go,
they're already worried.
889
00:32:20,523 --> 00:32:22,259
It's a man in a boat?
890
00:32:22,324 --> 00:32:24,060
[Q] Joe, why don't you go take
a look at who's in distress?
891
00:32:24,127 --> 00:32:26,328
Just watch Joe's face.
892
00:32:28,430 --> 00:32:29,698
I'm stuck.
893
00:32:29,765 --> 00:32:31,500
Can you swing around,
give me a hand?
894
00:32:31,567 --> 00:32:32,701
- Oh, man.
- [laughter]
895
00:32:34,938 --> 00:32:37,339
Oh, I'm stuck!
896
00:32:37,406 --> 00:32:40,110
I'm having trouble
getting back on the boat.
897
00:32:40,177 --> 00:32:42,946
What does he think?
898
00:32:43,013 --> 00:32:45,548
Basically, maritime law says
that if we bring him on,
899
00:32:45,614 --> 00:32:47,550
everyone has to be okay
with us bringing him on.
900
00:32:47,616 --> 00:32:49,986
- Does it have to be unanimous?
- It has to be unanimous.
901
00:32:50,053 --> 00:32:51,420
- Is it all right with you?
- Oh, no it...
902
00:32:51,487 --> 00:32:52,521
- Is it okay with you, sir?
- Yeah.
903
00:32:53,190 --> 00:32:54,824
Oh, no.
904
00:32:56,193 --> 00:32:57,359
I mean, hear me out.
905
00:32:57,426 --> 00:32:58,727
I promised I'd never put myself
906
00:32:58,794 --> 00:33:00,329
into this situation again.
907
00:33:00,396 --> 00:33:01,630
I promised
I'd never put myself
908
00:33:01,697 --> 00:33:02,966
in this situation again.
909
00:33:03,033 --> 00:33:04,234
I've been burned once.
910
00:33:04,301 --> 00:33:05,135
I'm not gonna let it
happen twice.
911
00:33:05,202 --> 00:33:06,903
[laughter]
912
00:33:06,970 --> 00:33:08,537
- You're saying no?
- I'm saying no, yeah.
913
00:33:08,604 --> 00:33:10,639
Murr, I'm having issues
with my dinghy.
914
00:33:10,706 --> 00:33:13,475
Guys, I'm having issues
with my dinghy.
915
00:33:13,542 --> 00:33:15,411
I don't know which dinghy
he's talking about.
916
00:33:15,477 --> 00:33:17,479
[laughs] I don't know.
917
00:33:19,115 --> 00:33:21,885
I mean, you gotta see it
from our point of view, pal.
918
00:33:21,952 --> 00:33:23,752
Joe, go on a rant.
Take this thing over.
919
00:33:23,819 --> 00:33:25,521
You got your buttocks out
in the middle of the ocean,
920
00:33:25,588 --> 00:33:27,389
bobbing up and down
with a lady on the boat,
921
00:33:27,456 --> 00:33:28,859
I mean, you want us
to take you on...
922
00:33:28,925 --> 00:33:30,526
- I mean, where are your trunks?
- [Murr] What?
923
00:33:30,593 --> 00:33:32,863
The logic doesn't track.
Where are your trunks?
924
00:33:32,929 --> 00:33:34,763
[laughter]
925
00:33:34,830 --> 00:33:36,867
Can't we just help him
get on his boat?
926
00:33:36,933 --> 00:33:38,467
[Sal] Joey,
it's you versus Murr.
927
00:33:38,534 --> 00:33:41,004
- He gets on, you lose.
- Dead, pal.
928
00:33:41,071 --> 00:33:44,406
Yeah, the rule is we both
get on this boat, I lose.
929
00:33:45,242 --> 00:33:47,843
- Pretty much.
- What?
930
00:33:47,911 --> 00:33:49,279
Wait, wait, whoa, whoa.
Hold on!
931
00:33:49,346 --> 00:33:50,679
What are you doing?
932
00:33:51,513 --> 00:33:53,149
Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joey.
933
00:33:53,216 --> 00:33:54,783
What are you... What?
934
00:33:54,851 --> 00:33:57,386
- I'm out. Ah!
- [laughter]
935
00:34:00,991 --> 00:34:02,325
Is this for real?
936
00:34:02,391 --> 00:34:04,627
[Sal] He's gonna save him.
He's going to save him.
937
00:34:04,693 --> 00:34:07,696
- Come on!
- So Murray still loses.
938
00:34:07,763 --> 00:34:09,199
- That's it, he's off.
- Oh, my God, Murray...
939
00:34:09,266 --> 00:34:10,399
[Sal] Well, he's not
getting on the boat.
940
00:34:10,466 --> 00:34:11,500
- Get in...
- Just not...
941
00:34:11,567 --> 00:34:13,769
- Oh!
- Oh!
942
00:34:13,836 --> 00:34:15,604
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
943
00:34:15,671 --> 00:34:18,008
How could you dare
touch that ass?
944
00:34:18,074 --> 00:34:20,877
- I'll see you back at land.
- Are you kidding me? Joe!
945
00:34:20,944 --> 00:34:22,444
Do you have beer on this boat?
946
00:34:22,511 --> 00:34:24,014
[laughter]
947
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:25,282
Son of a...
948
00:34:25,348 --> 00:34:26,749
[buzzer blares]
949
00:34:46,669 --> 00:34:49,906
- Wow. This is special.
- Ooh.
950
00:34:49,973 --> 00:34:51,473
You couldn't have booked
something a little bit better?
951
00:34:51,540 --> 00:34:53,109
It's 2 1/2 stars.
How many stars do you need?
952
00:34:53,176 --> 00:34:54,743
- All of them.
- One of the reviews,
953
00:34:54,810 --> 00:34:57,780
Danny D. says,
"Found two crack pipes, lolz."
954
00:34:57,846 --> 00:35:00,317
With a Z.
Still gave it four stars.
955
00:35:00,383 --> 00:35:01,483
- All right.
- With a Z?
956
00:35:01,550 --> 00:35:02,953
- It's got cable.
- That's hip.
957
00:35:05,021 --> 00:35:06,122
[grunts]
958
00:35:13,029 --> 00:35:14,463
You guys did not think
we weren't gonna
959
00:35:14,530 --> 00:35:16,032
mess with Sal
on this trip, did you?
960
00:35:16,099 --> 00:35:18,001
Yeah, that's right, we stopped
at this roadside motel
961
00:35:18,068 --> 00:35:19,501
because they allow pets.
962
00:35:19,568 --> 00:35:21,004
You're about to see
a grown man cry.
963
00:35:21,071 --> 00:35:23,039
[all laugh]
964
00:35:23,106 --> 00:35:24,773
I was saying, like, pull up
to him, so it could be fun.
965
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:26,508
Just... You're just going
to see what he's doing.
966
00:35:26,575 --> 00:35:28,677
- Right. Hoodie's on?
- Get in.
967
00:35:31,847 --> 00:35:32,949
What?
968
00:35:36,485 --> 00:35:38,254
All right. Can I...
969
00:35:38,321 --> 00:35:39,722
Just open the door, buddy.
970
00:35:39,788 --> 00:35:41,858
- There's no handle.
- No handle?
971
00:35:41,925 --> 00:35:43,559
This isn't the nicest motel.
972
00:35:43,625 --> 00:35:45,128
This wasn't right for today.
973
00:35:45,195 --> 00:35:47,230
Sal, everybody knows
you're afraid of cats.
974
00:35:48,198 --> 00:35:49,765
[animal growling]
975
00:35:52,335 --> 00:35:55,504
[growling]
976
00:35:55,571 --> 00:35:58,341
Oh, my...
977
00:35:58,408 --> 00:36:00,276
- That's a tiger.
- [laughs]
978
00:36:00,343 --> 00:36:02,678
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
979
00:36:02,745 --> 00:36:05,848
I can't do this. Oh, my God.
980
00:36:05,915 --> 00:36:08,985
How did you get the insurance
to sign off on this?
981
00:36:09,052 --> 00:36:10,387
We didn't.
982
00:36:10,453 --> 00:36:12,788
Guys, I don't think it's funny.
I don't want to do it.
983
00:36:12,856 --> 00:36:15,824
Guys, please. Guys, please.
Guys, please.
984
00:36:15,892 --> 00:36:17,293
I don't think it's funny, guys.
985
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:18,995
[laughter]
986
00:36:19,062 --> 00:36:20,263
Oh. Can't move.
987
00:36:20,330 --> 00:36:22,598
Yeah, that's probably wise
that you don't move.
988
00:36:22,664 --> 00:36:25,035
I've seen so many movies
and so many TV shows...
989
00:36:25,101 --> 00:36:27,569
In one second,
if this tiger wants to kill me,
990
00:36:27,636 --> 00:36:29,571
the tiger's gonna kill me.
991
00:36:29,638 --> 00:36:31,241
- [exhales]
- [tiger growling]
992
00:36:31,307 --> 00:36:33,675
Guys, did you think this
through all the way?
993
00:36:33,742 --> 00:36:35,111
- Not really
- Not really, no.
994
00:36:35,178 --> 00:36:37,013
How can you do this to me?
What do I do?
995
00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:38,515
Try to get
out of the room, bud.
996
00:36:38,580 --> 00:36:40,150
There's a door
right in front of you.
997
00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:45,055
- Uh-oh.
- [Q] Uh-oh.
998
00:36:45,121 --> 00:36:46,856
Now he's more concerned
about the lock than the tiger.
999
00:36:46,923 --> 00:36:49,959
- [tiger growling]
- No, no, no, no, no.
1000
00:36:50,026 --> 00:36:51,294
[Joe] Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
1001
00:36:51,361 --> 00:36:52,395
[Q] Oh, my God!
1002
00:36:52,462 --> 00:36:56,366
Guys, I can't make it.
1003
00:36:56,433 --> 00:36:58,034
Good, he's brushing
his teeth. Go, go.
1004
00:36:58,101 --> 00:36:59,802
- He's brushing his teeth.
- There he goes.
1005
00:36:59,869 --> 00:37:00,836
- He's up on the sink.
- [Murr] Get out of there.
1006
00:37:00,904 --> 00:37:03,239
Get out of there, quick.
1007
00:37:03,306 --> 00:37:05,275
Look at the poster
in front of your face.
1008
00:37:05,341 --> 00:37:08,211
- You think that's funny?
- It's the shit.
1009
00:37:08,278 --> 00:37:10,046
Just hang in there, pal.
1010
00:37:10,113 --> 00:37:11,814
Guys, I...
1011
00:37:12,714 --> 00:37:15,251
don't think this is funny.
1012
00:37:15,318 --> 00:37:17,619
- Who's there?
- Just let me in, guys.
1013
00:37:17,686 --> 00:37:18,955
- It's not funny.
- Sal, it's super easy.
1014
00:37:19,022 --> 00:37:20,090
You just have to say
this sentence.
1015
00:37:20,156 --> 00:37:21,491
- Go ahead.
- "Let me in.
1016
00:37:21,558 --> 00:37:23,725
- I'm a baby bitch boy."
- [laughs]
1017
00:37:23,792 --> 00:37:25,328
Let me in,
I'm the baby bitch boy.
1018
00:37:25,395 --> 00:37:26,762
[laughter]
1019
00:37:26,829 --> 00:37:28,364
No, no, that's what Joe
wanted you to say.
1020
00:37:28,431 --> 00:37:29,832
I want you to say,
1021
00:37:29,899 --> 00:37:33,236
"Murr's funnier, smarter,
and better than me."
1022
00:37:33,303 --> 00:37:35,038
[kissing] Come here, buddy.
Come here, buddy.
1023
00:37:35,105 --> 00:37:36,940
[laughter]
1024
00:37:40,243 --> 00:37:42,778
[tiger growls]
1025
00:37:44,948 --> 00:37:48,084
[muffled music playing]
1026
00:37:51,121 --> 00:37:53,356
Chaplin moustache
will never come back.
1027
00:37:53,423 --> 00:37:54,457
- Oh, hey, bud.
- Hey.
1028
00:37:54,524 --> 00:37:55,358
Do you know the Wi-Fi password?
1029
00:37:55,425 --> 00:37:56,692
Oh, the Wi-Fi?
1030
00:37:56,758 --> 00:37:57,961
Sure, you don't have it
in your room?
1031
00:37:58,027 --> 00:37:59,896
No, the card's not in there,
so, yeah.
1032
00:37:59,963 --> 00:38:02,698
[indistinct chatter]
1033
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:05,268
[mouths word]
1034
00:38:05,335 --> 00:38:07,003
I mean, just search
for Morgan Suites.
1035
00:38:07,070 --> 00:38:08,571
The password is "password."
1036
00:38:08,637 --> 00:38:10,306
The password is "password"?
That's not very secure.
1037
00:38:10,373 --> 00:38:12,041
- No.
- Yeah. Oh, hey.
1038
00:38:12,108 --> 00:38:14,710
Oh, hey! It's the Houlihans.
1039
00:38:14,776 --> 00:38:16,845
One sec. Hey, Marisa, Chris.
Come on.
1040
00:38:16,913 --> 00:38:17,947
- Please, please.
- Murr!
1041
00:38:18,014 --> 00:38:19,681
Hey, Marisa, you look gorgeous.
1042
00:38:19,748 --> 00:38:20,716
- Yeah.
- And Chris.
1043
00:38:20,782 --> 00:38:21,851
Scotch is in the back.
1044
00:38:21,918 --> 00:38:23,253
- Take it easy this time.
- Always.
1045
00:38:23,319 --> 00:38:24,387
- All right, buddy. Good night.
- All right, man.
1046
00:38:24,454 --> 00:38:25,388
You have a good night.
1047
00:38:35,532 --> 00:38:36,966
Grover Cleveland
was a Capricorn... Yeah, man?
1048
00:38:37,033 --> 00:38:38,268
Are there any caps
on the password?
1049
00:38:38,334 --> 00:38:39,302
All caps.
1050
00:38:39,369 --> 00:38:40,802
All caps password.
Yeah, thanks.
1051
00:38:40,870 --> 00:38:44,107
[playful music]
1052
00:39:01,524 --> 00:39:04,760
Uh-huh. I guess I'm late.
1053
00:39:04,826 --> 00:39:07,163
What do you want to do?
1054
00:39:07,230 --> 00:39:08,830
All right, this looks nice
and cool in the sun.
1055
00:39:08,898 --> 00:39:09,866
This is gonna be great.
1056
00:39:09,933 --> 00:39:13,403
[epic music]
1057
00:39:13,469 --> 00:39:15,405
All right.
1058
00:39:15,471 --> 00:39:16,873
Here we go.
1059
00:39:16,940 --> 00:39:18,608
Oh, God, I'm gonna die.
1060
00:39:18,675 --> 00:39:20,009
[grunting]
1061
00:39:20,076 --> 00:39:22,245
Nobody told me your name,
buddy.
1062
00:39:22,312 --> 00:39:24,547
So how about we go
with Benjamin Horse?
1063
00:39:24,614 --> 00:39:26,316
Yes. All right.
1064
00:39:30,620 --> 00:39:32,322
- [horn blares]
- Oh.
1065
00:39:32,388 --> 00:39:33,789
Oh, my goodness.
1066
00:39:35,325 --> 00:39:39,162
This says we go up one mile
and make a left,
1067
00:39:39,229 --> 00:39:42,932
and then we can punch the guys.
1068
00:39:42,999 --> 00:39:44,867
I'd like to marry a girl
like you one day.
1069
00:39:44,934 --> 00:39:47,736
Pretty. Beautiful blue eyes.
1070
00:39:47,803 --> 00:39:50,006
Calm, steady demeanor.
1071
00:39:50,073 --> 00:39:53,742
You guys messed up,
because I'm havin' a blast!
1072
00:39:53,809 --> 00:39:56,212
This is the best
road trip ever!
1073
00:40:02,952 --> 00:40:04,320
Let me ask you this,
1074
00:40:04,387 --> 00:40:06,556
When was the last time
you had an E.L. Fudge?
1075
00:40:06,623 --> 00:40:08,258
- One week ago.
- Really?
1076
00:40:08,324 --> 00:40:09,626
- No exaggeration.
- You're lying.
1077
00:40:09,692 --> 00:40:11,394
I swear to God.
1078
00:40:11,461 --> 00:40:13,563
Fudge Stripe gets all the shine
over at Keebler.
1079
00:40:13,630 --> 00:40:14,998
Fudge Stripe's a better cookie.
1080
00:40:15,064 --> 00:40:16,832
I'm talking Keebler,
I'm talking E.L. Fudge.
1081
00:40:16,899 --> 00:40:18,668
I'm talking Fudge Stripe,
and then I move on.
1082
00:40:18,735 --> 00:40:20,103
I'll give you $1,000/
1083
00:40:20,169 --> 00:40:21,871
if any of you can tell me
what E.L. stands for.
1084
00:40:23,306 --> 00:40:24,840
I'm blowing your mind
right now.
1085
00:40:24,907 --> 00:40:28,278
- Everybody loves?
- [laughs]
1086
00:40:28,344 --> 00:40:31,748
- Shit.
- You carry $1,000 with you?
1087
00:40:31,813 --> 00:40:34,384
- I think I see someone.
- Yeah!
1088
00:40:34,450 --> 00:40:35,518
Oh, there he is.
1089
00:40:36,486 --> 00:40:38,655
Welcome to the party, pal.
1090
00:40:38,721 --> 00:40:40,056
[Joe] Come on, Fatiator.
1091
00:40:40,123 --> 00:40:42,325
Once my balls shot directly
up in my body
1092
00:40:42,392 --> 00:40:45,827
about a mile back,
I started enjoying it.
1093
00:40:45,895 --> 00:40:47,263
- You got it. Be careful, man.
- Whoa!
1094
00:40:47,330 --> 00:40:50,733
- Park it over there.
- Okay, okay. All right.
1095
00:40:50,799 --> 00:40:51,868
You good?
1096
00:40:53,703 --> 00:40:55,104
[laughs]
1097
00:40:55,772 --> 00:40:57,006
[engine turns over]
1098
00:40:57,073 --> 00:40:58,541
[Q] You're forever
my horse, baby.
1099
00:41:00,009 --> 00:41:02,145
[horse neighs]
1100
00:41:09,686 --> 00:41:11,721
Murr, how... This idiot.
1101
00:41:11,788 --> 00:41:13,256
- What?
- Look at...
1102
00:41:15,224 --> 00:41:17,260
How does he even sleep
like that?
1103
00:41:17,327 --> 00:41:18,861
Oh, man.
He's got no idea what's coming.
1104
00:41:18,928 --> 00:41:21,097
Oh, I know.
I've already made some calls.
1105
00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:25,768
♪ Get ready, get ready, go ♪
1106
00:41:25,834 --> 00:41:27,970
♪ Forever my girl
Forever my chick ♪
1107
00:41:28,037 --> 00:41:29,205
♪ Together forever, we lit ♪
1108
00:41:29,272 --> 00:41:30,640
♪ Whatever the gift, she cool ♪
1109
00:41:30,707 --> 00:41:31,774
♪ Whatever she get ♪
1110
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:32,809
♪ Strawberry letters for dick ♪
1111
00:41:32,875 --> 00:41:33,943
♪ I'm bound to sweat ♪
1112
00:41:34,010 --> 00:41:35,445
♪ Got 'em whenever she's sick ♪
1113
00:41:35,511 --> 00:41:37,513
♪ She call me
This medicine quick ♪
1114
00:41:37,580 --> 00:41:38,815
♪ I measured the dick before
I could measure the bitch ♪
1115
00:41:38,881 --> 00:41:39,882
♪ She on the measuring stick ♪
1116
00:41:39,949 --> 00:41:41,417
♪ I'm heavy legit ♪
1117
00:41:41,484 --> 00:41:42,785
♪ Like forever is wrong,
Whatever I do ♪
1118
00:41:42,852 --> 00:41:44,287
♪ You, forever my boo ♪
1119
00:41:44,354 --> 00:41:45,621
♪ And back when
They call me the cat ♪
1120
00:41:45,688 --> 00:41:46,756
♪ I'm like Pepé Le Pew ♪
1121
00:41:46,823 --> 00:41:48,191
♪ Ha ♪
1122
00:41:48,257 --> 00:41:50,893
♪ Staten Island
in the building ♪
1123
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:52,295
♪ Yeah ♪
1124
00:41:52,362 --> 00:41:54,163
- [Murr] I'm shaking.
- [club music blaring]
1125
00:41:54,230 --> 00:41:55,965
All right, how are you?
1126
00:41:56,032 --> 00:41:57,567
[hip-hop vocal music playing]
1127
00:41:59,702 --> 00:42:01,804
[indistinct chatter]
1128
00:42:01,871 --> 00:42:03,272
Well, ladies,
this is the birthday boy.
1129
00:42:03,339 --> 00:42:04,407
We're here to celebrate him.
1130
00:42:04,474 --> 00:42:06,809
[cheering]
1131
00:42:06,876 --> 00:42:08,578
So let's do this.
1132
00:42:13,516 --> 00:42:14,817
I hold back.
1133
00:42:14,884 --> 00:42:17,086
- I get shy at first.
- [laughs]
1134
00:42:18,955 --> 00:42:21,124
I guess it is a little.
1135
00:42:21,190 --> 00:42:22,458
It's his birthday, ladies.
1136
00:42:22,525 --> 00:42:24,193
What does this look like
from your vantage?
1137
00:42:26,662 --> 00:42:27,997
[music stops]
1138
00:42:28,064 --> 00:42:32,802
[all]
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
1139
00:42:32,870 --> 00:42:37,306
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
1140
00:42:37,373 --> 00:42:42,378
♪ Happy birthday, dear Murray ♪
1141
00:42:42,445 --> 00:42:47,817
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
1142
00:42:47,885 --> 00:42:49,252
- Are you serious?
- [cheering]
1143
00:42:49,318 --> 00:42:51,387
That's Murray's family
behind us.
1144
00:42:51,454 --> 00:42:54,157
That's James' nieces
and nephews.
1145
00:42:54,223 --> 00:42:56,292
- Happy birthday, my friend.
- Oh, my God.
1146
00:42:56,359 --> 00:42:58,294
- [laughter]
- They're all here!
1147
00:42:58,361 --> 00:43:01,063
[laughter]
1148
00:43:04,534 --> 00:43:08,906
Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?
1149
00:43:08,971 --> 00:43:11,941
[laughter]
1150
00:43:15,211 --> 00:43:16,679
[Sal] Everybody's
ready to roll.
1151
00:43:18,815 --> 00:43:20,216
James, they're so innocent.
1152
00:43:20,283 --> 00:43:22,853
Are you kidding me?
You flew my whole...
1153
00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:25,588
That's my nieces and nephews.
1154
00:43:25,655 --> 00:43:27,523
It's all fake?
1155
00:43:27,590 --> 00:43:28,926
[all] Happy birthday!
1156
00:43:28,991 --> 00:43:31,260
[cheering]
1157
00:43:31,327 --> 00:43:32,762
♪ I'm the joker ♪
1158
00:43:32,829 --> 00:43:34,964
♪ I'm practically nuts ♪
1159
00:43:35,031 --> 00:43:36,265
♪ With my crew ♪
1160
00:43:36,332 --> 00:43:39,268
Huh. The Atlanta Hawks
are hiring.
1161
00:43:40,938 --> 00:43:42,138
Players?
1162
00:43:44,307 --> 00:43:45,909
I feel like they shouldn't
put an ad out for that.
1163
00:43:45,975 --> 00:43:47,443
It's unclear.
1164
00:43:49,812 --> 00:43:51,180
[Sal] All righty. Here we go.
1165
00:43:53,115 --> 00:43:54,717
♪ Whoa, joker ♪
1166
00:43:57,955 --> 00:43:59,121
- Murr.
- Yep.
1167
00:43:59,188 --> 00:44:00,356
- How you doing, buddy?
- I'm good.
1168
00:44:01,357 --> 00:44:02,893
Here we go. Here we go, guys.
1169
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:05,027
- [Murr] Here we go. We're in.
- How are you doing?
1170
00:44:05,094 --> 00:44:06,362
- Hey, I'm James Murray. Nice to meet you.
- Hey, nice to meet you. Joe.
1171
00:44:06,429 --> 00:44:07,830
- How are you?
- Good, good.
1172
00:44:07,898 --> 00:44:09,165
- How are you doing?
- Joe, pleasure. I'm great.
1173
00:44:09,232 --> 00:44:10,333
- Thank you so much.
- Awesome.
1174
00:44:10,399 --> 00:44:11,501
- Well, welcome.
- Thank you.
1175
00:44:11,567 --> 00:44:12,735
So where are you
coming in from?
1176
00:44:12,802 --> 00:44:14,170
Oh, I live here in Atlanta.
1177
00:44:14,237 --> 00:44:15,838
You answer the questions
we ask you.
1178
00:44:15,906 --> 00:44:17,440
So where are you
from originally?
1179
00:44:17,507 --> 00:44:19,408
[Q] Where do I see myself
in five years?
1180
00:44:19,475 --> 00:44:22,378
Well, in five years,
I see myself well on track
1181
00:44:22,445 --> 00:44:24,480
to maybe a managerial...
[laughter]
1182
00:44:24,547 --> 00:44:25,715
Okay, great.
1183
00:44:25,781 --> 00:44:27,817
So how'd you hear
about this role in particular?
1184
00:44:27,885 --> 00:44:29,519
Oh.
1185
00:44:29,585 --> 00:44:30,753
[Q] Well, what do you feel
your biggest strength is?
1186
00:44:30,820 --> 00:44:32,021
My biggest strengths are...
1187
00:44:32,088 --> 00:44:33,356
[laughter]
1188
00:44:33,422 --> 00:44:35,859
I would say confidence,
approachability...
1189
00:44:35,926 --> 00:44:37,527
- Sure.
- I'm easy to talk with.
1190
00:44:37,593 --> 00:44:39,362
Why leave your position
at Georgia State?
1191
00:44:39,428 --> 00:44:40,931
I saw you were there
until March.
1192
00:44:40,998 --> 00:44:42,966
- [Q] In full disclosure...
- In full disclosure...
1193
00:44:43,032 --> 00:44:48,005
- I had a child out of wedlock.
- I had a child out of wedlock.
1194
00:44:48,070 --> 00:44:50,306
If that disqualifies me
from the job, I understand.
1195
00:44:50,373 --> 00:44:53,075
If that disqualifies me
from the job, I understand.
1196
00:44:53,142 --> 00:44:55,811
- Nope. Nope. Certainly not.
- Right.
1197
00:44:55,879 --> 00:44:57,346
[laughter]
1198
00:44:57,413 --> 00:44:59,515
I put a Polaroid camera.
Just take a quick picture.
1199
00:45:00,216 --> 00:45:01,250
- Cool.
- Right?
1200
00:45:01,317 --> 00:45:02,785
- You got a...
- Yeah.
1201
00:45:02,853 --> 00:45:04,387
[laughter]
1202
00:45:04,453 --> 00:45:06,622
- Camera. Nice.
- Yeah.
1203
00:45:06,689 --> 00:45:08,257
[Q] Get him to sign it.
Get him to sign it.
1204
00:45:08,324 --> 00:45:10,459
- Well, um...
- Can you autograph?
1205
00:45:10,526 --> 00:45:12,194
- Is that cool?
- Sure, yeah. Yeah, bring it.
1206
00:45:12,261 --> 00:45:13,529
[Q] I mean,
you are on the Hawks.
1207
00:45:13,596 --> 00:45:15,032
I mean,
you are on the Hawks, so...
1208
00:45:15,097 --> 00:45:16,666
- [laughter]
- Yeah, well... Yeah.
1209
00:45:16,732 --> 00:45:18,568
I have to apologize
if I seem a little off.
1210
00:45:18,634 --> 00:45:20,202
I have to apologize,
by the way,
1211
00:45:20,269 --> 00:45:21,905
if I seem a little off
during the interview.
1212
00:45:21,972 --> 00:45:23,105
Aunt Flo's in town.
1213
00:45:23,172 --> 00:45:25,408
- [laughter]
- Aunt... [laughs]
1214
00:45:25,474 --> 00:45:27,310
Frick.
1215
00:45:27,376 --> 00:45:28,711
Looks like I'm not
getting the job.
1216
00:45:28,778 --> 00:45:31,180
[laughter]
1217
00:45:31,247 --> 00:45:32,950
[Joe] Or the party ticket.
[Q] Yeah.
1218
00:45:33,016 --> 00:45:34,150
[buzzer blares]
1219
00:45:36,218 --> 00:45:37,620
Look at this, boys.
1220
00:45:37,687 --> 00:45:38,989
This is big-time...
You get this job,
1221
00:45:39,056 --> 00:45:40,389
you're gonna be
big-time, buddy.
1222
00:45:40,456 --> 00:45:41,524
This is a big-time gig
we're infiltrating.
1223
00:45:41,591 --> 00:45:43,659
I'm ready for the big time.
1224
00:45:43,726 --> 00:45:45,595
- [Joe] Here she comes.
- Hello, hi.
1225
00:45:45,661 --> 00:45:47,430
- How are you?
- How are you? I'm Brian.
1226
00:45:47,496 --> 00:45:50,199
- Hey. Nice to meet you.
- Very nice to meet you.
1227
00:45:50,266 --> 00:45:51,233
[Joe] Here we go.
1228
00:45:51,300 --> 00:45:52,735
- Oh.
- Here we go, Q.
1229
00:45:52,802 --> 00:45:54,804
You've seen
the job description.
1230
00:45:54,871 --> 00:45:56,339
- I have. Yeah.
- Correct?
1231
00:45:56,405 --> 00:45:58,641
- I got it right here.
- Two words, under qualified.
1232
00:45:58,708 --> 00:46:01,477
Two words, under qualified,
but willing to learn.
1233
00:46:01,544 --> 00:46:03,512
Willing to learn. That's great.
1234
00:46:03,579 --> 00:46:04,747
[laughs]
1235
00:46:04,814 --> 00:46:07,450
Can you describe
your style of management?
1236
00:46:07,516 --> 00:46:09,086
- My style of management?
- Mmm-hmm.
1237
00:46:09,151 --> 00:46:10,453
Sure, well,
my nickname's Crab Cake,
1238
00:46:10,519 --> 00:46:11,955
so if that's any indication...
1239
00:46:12,022 --> 00:46:14,357
My nickname... All my, uh...
1240
00:46:14,423 --> 00:46:16,258
All my workers
call me Crab Cakes,
1241
00:46:16,325 --> 00:46:17,760
if that's any indication.
1242
00:46:17,827 --> 00:46:18,962
- Yeah.
- Really?
1243
00:46:19,029 --> 00:46:20,030
- Yeah, Crab Cakes.
- Yeah.
1244
00:46:20,097 --> 00:46:21,430
[laughter]
1245
00:46:21,497 --> 00:46:23,199
If the guys want
to call me Crab Cakes,
1246
00:46:23,265 --> 00:46:26,069
- hey, call me Crab Cakes.
- [laughter]
1247
00:46:26,135 --> 00:46:27,570
- [Joe] Off topic...
- Off topic...
1248
00:46:27,637 --> 00:46:29,906
Is that stupid mascot
of yours a woodpecker?
1249
00:46:29,973 --> 00:46:31,273
What is that thing?
1250
00:46:31,340 --> 00:46:34,243
Is that...
That stupid mascot you have,
1251
00:46:34,310 --> 00:46:35,946
is that a woodpecker,
what is that thing?
1252
00:46:36,013 --> 00:46:37,647
[laughter]
1253
00:46:37,713 --> 00:46:39,281
- I can't even look.
- Oh, my God.
1254
00:46:39,348 --> 00:46:41,450
- I can't even look.
- [Murr] It's a hawk.
1255
00:46:41,517 --> 00:46:42,752
I don't know
what you call that bird.
1256
00:46:42,818 --> 00:46:44,353
Yeah? Oh, it looks
like a woodpecker.
1257
00:46:44,420 --> 00:46:45,554
[imitating
Woody Woodpecker's laugh]
1258
00:46:45,621 --> 00:46:47,090
[imitating
Woody Woodpecker's laugh]
1259
00:46:47,156 --> 00:46:48,658
[laughter]
1260
00:46:48,724 --> 00:46:49,792
[laughs] Yeah.
1261
00:46:49,860 --> 00:46:51,494
Tell me a little bit
about yourself.
1262
00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:53,796
Will I be pissing in a cup
for a drug test?
1263
00:46:54,563 --> 00:46:56,599
Do you know, is, um...
1264
00:46:56,666 --> 00:46:58,734
[stammering]
1265
00:46:58,801 --> 00:47:00,169
[laughter]
1266
00:47:01,872 --> 00:47:03,272
He doesn't want to say it.
1267
00:47:03,339 --> 00:47:05,207
Yeah, I really tanked this one.
1268
00:47:05,274 --> 00:47:07,176
There's no way
I'm going to see Abdul.
1269
00:47:07,243 --> 00:47:10,013
There's no way I'm going
to see Paula Abdul.
1270
00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:12,481
[laughter]
1271
00:47:12,548 --> 00:47:13,950
Explain the plot of the movie.
1272
00:47:14,017 --> 00:47:15,418
We're four high school friends.
1273
00:47:15,484 --> 00:47:17,954
So we're on a road trip
for redemption
1274
00:47:18,021 --> 00:47:20,489
for an incident that happened
back in 1990,
1275
00:47:20,556 --> 00:47:22,025
like, coming back
to haunt us now.
1276
00:47:22,092 --> 00:47:24,161
And there's only three tickets
to see Abdul,
1277
00:47:24,226 --> 00:47:26,629
and one of us can't go.
1278
00:47:26,696 --> 00:47:28,831
- Rate our movie.
- The movie's 3 1/2 stars.
1279
00:47:28,899 --> 00:47:30,633
The movie's gonna be
3 1/2 stars.
1280
00:47:30,700 --> 00:47:31,968
[laughter]
1281
00:47:32,035 --> 00:47:33,469
This interview is bullshit.
1282
00:47:33,536 --> 00:47:36,305
- [laughs]
- [laughter]
1283
00:47:36,372 --> 00:47:38,207
[laughing]
This interview is bullshit.
1284
00:47:38,274 --> 00:47:41,011
[laughter]
1285
00:47:41,078 --> 00:47:43,446
[laughing]
[Q] Thank you.
1286
00:47:43,512 --> 00:47:45,214
It's total bullshit.
1287
00:47:45,281 --> 00:47:46,382
[laughter]
1288
00:47:46,449 --> 00:47:49,218
It's all for a movie.
1289
00:47:49,285 --> 00:47:50,954
[buzzer blares]
1290
00:47:51,021 --> 00:47:52,989
Hey, buddy,
everything look cozy?
1291
00:47:53,056 --> 00:47:54,858
Yep.
What's that?
1292
00:47:54,925 --> 00:47:56,692
[Joe] That's Chase, you met him
at a Big Brother program.
1293
00:47:56,759 --> 00:47:58,561
Then you lost him, and now
he's your guardian angel
1294
00:47:58,627 --> 00:48:00,964
that looks over you
during all the big events,
1295
00:48:01,031 --> 00:48:02,231
including job interviews.
1296
00:48:02,298 --> 00:48:03,632
- Hey.
- Oh, hey, yeah, yeah.
1297
00:48:03,699 --> 00:48:05,835
How are you?
Very random.
1298
00:48:05,902 --> 00:48:08,838
- That's actually Chase.
- Okay. Great.
1299
00:48:08,905 --> 00:48:10,040
He was my Little Brother,
1300
00:48:10,107 --> 00:48:11,141
in the Little Brother,
Big Brother program.
1301
00:48:11,208 --> 00:48:12,508
Okay.
1302
00:48:12,575 --> 00:48:13,910
He's like my guardian angel,
inspiration.
1303
00:48:13,977 --> 00:48:15,444
He's gonna look over
the interview for me.
1304
00:48:15,511 --> 00:48:16,812
- Oh, I think that's great.
- Thank you.
1305
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:18,447
I was like, did someone
leave anything?
1306
00:48:18,514 --> 00:48:19,515
- Oh, no, what is your name?
- Brandy. Brandy.
1307
00:48:19,582 --> 00:48:20,616
- Brandy.
- Yeah, sorry.
1308
00:48:20,683 --> 00:48:22,085
- Nice to meet you.
- I'm Sal.
1309
00:48:22,152 --> 00:48:23,186
Immediately launch into
why the Earth is flat.
1310
00:48:23,252 --> 00:48:24,353
[laughs]
1311
00:48:24,420 --> 00:48:25,521
I like talking to people
1312
00:48:25,588 --> 00:48:26,857
about all different types
of things.
1313
00:48:26,923 --> 00:48:28,257
- Right.
- You know, for example, like,
1314
00:48:28,324 --> 00:48:30,326
no denying it for me that the,
1315
00:48:30,392 --> 00:48:32,095
you know, I believe
the Earth is flat.
1316
00:48:32,162 --> 00:48:33,997
So I like to talk about that.
1317
00:48:34,064 --> 00:48:35,264
Okay. Great.
1318
00:48:35,331 --> 00:48:36,900
[laughter]
1319
00:48:36,967 --> 00:48:38,567
How do you feel
about the shape of the Earth?
1320
00:48:38,634 --> 00:48:41,637
What is your opinion
on the shape of the Earth?
1321
00:48:41,704 --> 00:48:43,305
- Um...
- [Q] There's the look.
1322
00:48:43,372 --> 00:48:47,210
I mean, I'm pretty literal,
so I'm gonna go with round.
1323
00:48:47,276 --> 00:48:48,677
Yeah, most people
think it's round.
1324
00:48:48,744 --> 00:48:50,646
- Yeah.
- But they'd be wrong.
1325
00:48:50,713 --> 00:48:52,715
[laughter]
1326
00:48:52,782 --> 00:48:54,383
They told me to bring
a recommendation,
1327
00:48:54,450 --> 00:48:55,952
- so I brought one.
- They said to bring a rec...
1328
00:48:56,019 --> 00:48:59,222
A recommendation too, and
I also have a recommendation.
1329
00:48:59,288 --> 00:49:00,790
Sal, pull out the iPad there.
1330
00:49:00,857 --> 00:49:02,324
Uh, so here.
1331
00:49:05,327 --> 00:49:06,863
It's Sal's mom, Adele.
1332
00:49:06,930 --> 00:49:08,397
[laughter]
1333
00:49:08,464 --> 00:49:11,700
Please hire him.
He'd be a good employee.
1334
00:49:11,767 --> 00:49:14,303
He doesn't steal.
He's a good boy.
1335
00:49:14,370 --> 00:49:16,639
He pays me to clean his house,
1336
00:49:16,705 --> 00:49:18,307
so please, please,
please hire him
1337
00:49:18,374 --> 00:49:20,110
so he can keep paying me.
1338
00:49:20,177 --> 00:49:21,710
[laughter]
1339
00:49:21,777 --> 00:49:24,047
[Q] Oh, my God.
That's awesome.
1340
00:49:25,215 --> 00:49:27,117
- You good?
- Ah, hell, nah!
1341
00:49:27,184 --> 00:49:30,153
Instead of "Oh, hell, no,"
do the singing version of it.
1342
00:49:30,220 --> 00:49:31,353
♪ Hell, no ♪
1343
00:49:31,420 --> 00:49:33,722
♪ To the no, no, no ♪
1344
00:49:35,391 --> 00:49:38,394
- I'm so sorry.
- It's okay.
1345
00:49:38,460 --> 00:49:40,362
- What are you writing?
- What, what are you...
1346
00:49:40,429 --> 00:49:41,564
What are you writing?
1347
00:49:43,432 --> 00:49:45,035
- My notes.
- Oh, great. Perfect.
1348
00:49:45,101 --> 00:49:47,436
[laughter and clapping]
1349
00:49:47,503 --> 00:49:48,771
Take notes.
1350
00:49:48,838 --> 00:49:50,773
[Murr] Yeah, Sal,
take notes on her.
1351
00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:52,341
[laughter]
1352
00:49:54,810 --> 00:49:56,445
[laughter]
1353
00:49:56,512 --> 00:49:59,415
Sal, just go, "Are there
one T or two in 'pretty'?"
1354
00:49:59,481 --> 00:50:02,052
[laughter]
1355
00:50:02,118 --> 00:50:03,752
Ah, done!
1356
00:50:03,819 --> 00:50:06,990
- Done, boys.
- Well done.
1357
00:50:07,057 --> 00:50:08,357
[buzzer blares]
1358
00:50:08,424 --> 00:50:10,927
Okay, so this is my outfit.
1359
00:50:10,994 --> 00:50:14,197
[Sal] Yeah, Joey in a breakaway
basketball warmup suit.
1360
00:50:14,264 --> 00:50:15,497
So as soon as the person
comes in,
1361
00:50:15,564 --> 00:50:17,566
you just get ready
for game time.
1362
00:50:19,735 --> 00:50:21,238
- Hey, how are you?
- Good. How are you?
1363
00:50:21,304 --> 00:50:22,705
- [Sal] Big hug.
- Nice to see you.
1364
00:50:22,771 --> 00:50:24,573
- Emily. Nice to meet you.
- It's nice to meet you.
1365
00:50:24,640 --> 00:50:26,742
- Yeah, I'm ready to do this.
- Oh, here you go.
1366
00:50:26,809 --> 00:50:28,945
- That's amazing.
- Right?
1367
00:50:29,012 --> 00:50:30,046
That is awesome.
1368
00:50:30,113 --> 00:50:31,814
[laughter]
1369
00:50:31,882 --> 00:50:33,382
So nice to meet you.
I'm Emily.
1370
00:50:33,449 --> 00:50:34,817
I'm the building
security manager.
1371
00:50:34,885 --> 00:50:36,319
- Building security manager?
- Yes, sir, so...
1372
00:50:36,385 --> 00:50:37,320
And what was your name again?
I'm sorry.
1373
00:50:37,386 --> 00:50:39,022
Emily. Yes, sir.
1374
00:50:39,089 --> 00:50:41,091
I'm gonna let you get started
other than that amazing intro.
1375
00:50:41,157 --> 00:50:42,758
- Oh, thank you.
- Joe, where are you from?
1376
00:50:42,825 --> 00:50:44,127
Tell me a little bit
about yourself.
1377
00:50:44,194 --> 00:50:45,362
Nah, nah.
1378
00:50:45,427 --> 00:50:47,429
Nah, I didn't want to...
1379
00:50:47,496 --> 00:50:48,797
I didn't really want
to get into that.
1380
00:50:48,865 --> 00:50:50,499
[laughter]
1381
00:50:50,566 --> 00:50:52,369
What's that?
Which part.
1382
00:50:52,434 --> 00:50:54,570
My past.
My shadowy past.
1383
00:50:54,637 --> 00:50:56,940
My shadowy past.
I didn't really want to start...
1384
00:50:57,007 --> 00:50:58,641
[laughter]
1385
00:50:58,707 --> 00:51:00,277
Keep saying "off the record."
1386
00:51:00,343 --> 00:51:01,677
- Off the record...
- Mmm-hmm.
1387
00:51:01,744 --> 00:51:03,914
I negotiated prices
for, like, bulk supplies.
1388
00:51:03,980 --> 00:51:05,547
- Mmm-hmm.
- I would let them in
1389
00:51:05,614 --> 00:51:07,083
on the, to the side.
1390
00:51:07,150 --> 00:51:08,952
Joe, she's writing this down.
It's off the record.
1391
00:51:09,019 --> 00:51:10,719
Yeah,
but this is all off the...
1392
00:51:10,786 --> 00:51:12,389
- This is all off the record.
- No, no, you're fine.
1393
00:51:12,454 --> 00:51:13,522
I'm just talking about your
extension of knowledge with...
1394
00:51:13,589 --> 00:51:14,958
Got it, got it.
1395
00:51:15,025 --> 00:51:16,393
Um, what else can I tell you
off the record?
1396
00:51:16,458 --> 00:51:18,194
Joe, have a roving finger.
1397
00:51:18,261 --> 00:51:20,096
There was one time
when a whole crew was in here,
1398
00:51:20,163 --> 00:51:21,898
and they had to actually be on
the other side of the campus,
1399
00:51:21,965 --> 00:51:23,867
but the middle was closed,
so I couldn't get them through.
1400
00:51:23,934 --> 00:51:25,434
We had to actually
go around the whole thing.
1401
00:51:25,501 --> 00:51:26,669
- But off the record.
- Off the record, Monica.
1402
00:51:26,735 --> 00:51:27,569
Off the record,
we went through
1403
00:51:27,636 --> 00:51:28,872
the closed road, Monica.
1404
00:51:28,939 --> 00:51:30,506
Here comes
the moving finger.
1405
00:51:30,572 --> 00:51:31,740
And, you know, there was
a lot of teams up here,
1406
00:51:31,807 --> 00:51:32,876
and then
we brought it down south.
1407
00:51:32,943 --> 00:51:34,610
You know,
you connect everybody,
1408
00:51:34,677 --> 00:51:36,612
and they all have their
own conferences and stuff,
1409
00:51:36,679 --> 00:51:38,281
but, uh, I have stopped...
1410
00:51:38,348 --> 00:51:40,649
Excuse yourself for one quick
moment to go to the bathroom
1411
00:51:40,716 --> 00:51:42,518
and then go downstairs
and play basketball.
1412
00:51:42,584 --> 00:51:44,820
Um, I need to use
the restroom real quick.
1413
00:51:44,888 --> 00:51:46,256
- I'm sorry.
- Yeah, sure, no worries.
1414
00:51:46,323 --> 00:51:47,991
- I'll be right back.
- Yeah.
1415
00:51:48,992 --> 00:51:50,093
I'll be right back.
I'm sorry.
1416
00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:51,760
- Yeah, okay.
- Thanks.
1417
00:51:53,229 --> 00:51:55,899
- [Murr] Look at her face!
- [laughter]
1418
00:52:01,503 --> 00:52:03,639
[Q] This is gonna be amazing.
[Sal] Her face is...
1419
00:52:03,706 --> 00:52:05,041
[basketball thumping]
1420
00:52:05,108 --> 00:52:06,508
[laughter]
1421
00:52:08,078 --> 00:52:09,346
[yelps]
1422
00:52:09,412 --> 00:52:11,081
[laughter]
1423
00:52:15,651 --> 00:52:16,886
[Joe whispers] Almost.
1424
00:52:16,953 --> 00:52:19,189
Joey, uh, security
really sucks around here.
1425
00:52:19,255 --> 00:52:20,857
[breathing heavily]
1426
00:52:20,924 --> 00:52:22,959
- You good?
- Yeah, security really sucks.
1427
00:52:23,026 --> 00:52:25,061
I was able just to go down
there and shoot hoops.
1428
00:52:25,128 --> 00:52:27,097
[laughter]
1429
00:52:29,199 --> 00:52:30,632
[laughter]
1430
00:52:31,633 --> 00:52:33,602
- Yeah.
- So security's an issue.
1431
00:52:34,137 --> 00:52:35,038
Yeah.
1432
00:52:35,105 --> 00:52:37,273
Security's an issue.
1433
00:52:37,340 --> 00:52:40,210
All right, well, do you have
any further questions for me?
1434
00:52:40,276 --> 00:52:42,778
Tell her you'll be in touch
and she did great.
1435
00:52:42,845 --> 00:52:44,014
And, uh, that's it.
Yeah, thank you so much.
1436
00:52:44,080 --> 00:52:46,749
You did great.
We'll be in touch.
1437
00:52:46,815 --> 00:52:48,151
I'll get Jakim to, uh...
1438
00:52:48,218 --> 00:52:50,586
Hey, appreciate it.
Yeah, we'll let you know.
1439
00:52:51,955 --> 00:52:53,423
Possibly.
Maybe we'll hire her.
1440
00:52:53,490 --> 00:52:55,225
[laughter]
1441
00:52:55,291 --> 00:52:56,426
Maybe we'll hire her.
1442
00:52:56,493 --> 00:52:57,360
I'm not sure
if we'll hire her.
1443
00:52:57,427 --> 00:52:59,229
[bell dings]
1444
00:52:59,295 --> 00:53:00,864
[upbeat rock music]
1445
00:53:03,599 --> 00:53:05,101
- A left right here?
- Go.
1446
00:53:05,168 --> 00:53:07,103
Yeah, baby, yeah!
1447
00:53:07,170 --> 00:53:09,571
Disgusting loading dock.
Nice, guys.
1448
00:53:12,409 --> 00:53:13,842
[laughs]
1449
00:53:13,910 --> 00:53:15,879
Now do you want to tell me
why we're here?
1450
00:53:15,945 --> 00:53:17,247
We're just gonna pop into
1451
00:53:17,313 --> 00:53:18,714
this social media convention
real quick.
1452
00:53:18,781 --> 00:53:20,849
- Uh-huh.
- Here's your credentials.
1453
00:53:20,917 --> 00:53:22,452
We're having fun with you today
at your expense.
1454
00:53:22,519 --> 00:53:24,921
Hey, bud, uh, you're, uh...
You're on in ten minutes.
1455
00:53:24,988 --> 00:53:26,156
[laughter]
1456
00:53:26,222 --> 00:53:28,324
You're terrible
at social networking, so...
1457
00:53:32,228 --> 00:53:33,329
Give it up one more time
1458
00:53:33,396 --> 00:53:35,065
for your When Brands
Take a Stand panel.
1459
00:53:35,131 --> 00:53:37,400
[applause]
1460
00:53:37,467 --> 00:53:39,302
[Sal] So we are at
the Social Shake-Up,
1461
00:53:39,369 --> 00:53:42,738
which is a tremendous
social media conference here,
1462
00:53:42,805 --> 00:53:45,075
and Q is about to go up
and give a presentation.
1463
00:53:45,141 --> 00:53:46,708
- Yeah.
- We wrote the presentation.
1464
00:53:46,775 --> 00:53:48,644
He's never seen a single
one of these slides.
1465
00:53:48,710 --> 00:53:50,080
There's 600 people here,
1466
00:53:50,146 --> 00:53:52,048
which is a little more
than we usually have.
1467
00:53:52,115 --> 00:53:53,283
A little more?
1468
00:53:53,349 --> 00:53:57,087
We do have a last-minute
addition to the roster.
1469
00:53:57,153 --> 00:53:59,856
We have a new speaker
coming up.
1470
00:53:59,923 --> 00:54:01,757
We have been trying
to do this for years.
1471
00:54:01,824 --> 00:54:04,994
Please welcome to the stage
Peter Foaks.
1472
00:54:06,529 --> 00:54:07,629
- Peter Foaks.
- [laughs]
1473
00:54:07,696 --> 00:54:09,365
[applause]
1474
00:54:12,402 --> 00:54:13,802
Good morning, everybody.
1475
00:54:13,870 --> 00:54:15,704
Very excited to be here.
Thank you for having me.
1476
00:54:15,771 --> 00:54:16,973
My name is Peter Foaks.
1477
00:54:17,040 --> 00:54:18,541
They brought me here
'cause I'm...
1478
00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:20,977
really been doing well
as a social media influencer,
1479
00:54:21,044 --> 00:54:23,745
so why don't we get started.
1480
00:54:23,812 --> 00:54:26,682
How to Become
a Social Media Influencer,
1481
00:54:26,748 --> 00:54:29,718
or as my dad calls it,
"not have a real job."
1482
00:54:29,785 --> 00:54:31,554
[laughter]
1483
00:54:31,620 --> 00:54:33,957
So here we go.
1484
00:54:34,023 --> 00:54:36,192
His world after this
is gonna change.
1485
00:54:36,259 --> 00:54:38,461
We may not be friends
after this moment.
1486
00:54:38,528 --> 00:54:40,063
I recently interviewed
1487
00:54:40,130 --> 00:54:41,965
social media influencer
Franz Goldberg.
1488
00:54:42,031 --> 00:54:44,100
Do you guys know who that is?
1489
00:54:44,167 --> 00:54:45,969
Ah, you're gonna love this.
Okay.
1490
00:54:46,035 --> 00:54:47,703
Hi, my name
is Franz Goldberg,
1491
00:54:47,769 --> 00:54:50,039
and I'm what you would call
a social media influencer.
1492
00:54:50,106 --> 00:54:52,208
My major platform is YouTube.
1493
00:54:52,275 --> 00:54:54,010
Advertisers want to...
[sound distorts]
1494
00:54:54,077 --> 00:54:56,312
...and I can provide them...
1495
00:54:56,379 --> 00:54:58,448
- [knocking]
- It's interrupting.
1496
00:54:58,515 --> 00:55:01,618
[smooth electronic music]
1497
00:55:01,683 --> 00:55:03,553
Did somebody call a plumber?
1498
00:55:03,620 --> 00:55:06,688
Yes.
I need my pipes cleaned.
1499
00:55:06,755 --> 00:55:09,926
[laughter]
1500
00:55:09,993 --> 00:55:11,727
That's Q's parents!
1501
00:55:11,793 --> 00:55:13,196
That's Q's real parents.
1502
00:55:13,263 --> 00:55:16,533
- I can help with that.
- Oh, goody.
1503
00:55:16,599 --> 00:55:17,567
Come this way.
1504
00:55:17,634 --> 00:55:18,667
[Q's dad] Oh, yeah.
1505
00:55:18,734 --> 00:55:20,436
Good pipes.
Oh.
1506
00:55:20,503 --> 00:55:22,438
Oh, yes.
1507
00:55:22,505 --> 00:55:24,840
...place them
at the end of my video.
1508
00:55:24,908 --> 00:55:27,210
I like to place them inside...
1509
00:55:27,277 --> 00:55:28,844
[laughter]
1510
00:55:33,483 --> 00:55:36,519
I must have recorded
over an old tape on that one.
1511
00:55:36,586 --> 00:55:38,922
[laughing]
1512
00:55:39,656 --> 00:55:41,224
Also, um...
1513
00:55:41,291 --> 00:55:44,394
you probably shouldn't use
tapes in the modern era,
1514
00:55:44,460 --> 00:55:46,596
'cause of accidents like that.
1515
00:55:46,663 --> 00:55:48,932
You know, digital...
digital...
1516
00:55:48,998 --> 00:55:51,201
I would say digital
is the way to go.
1517
00:55:51,267 --> 00:55:53,570
- [laughter]
- He can't even speak.
1518
00:55:53,636 --> 00:55:55,804
His mind is blown.
1519
00:55:55,872 --> 00:56:00,210
Okay, well, look,
identify the major brands
1520
00:56:01,477 --> 00:56:03,179
that fit with your brands.
1521
00:56:03,246 --> 00:56:05,882
You know, stay on brand
is basically what I'm saying.
1522
00:56:05,949 --> 00:56:08,084
Uh, oh, no.
1523
00:56:09,586 --> 00:56:12,121
Oh, I hope this one doesn't
get interrupted, buddy.
1524
00:56:12,188 --> 00:56:14,324
Well, why don't
we give a listen
1525
00:56:14,390 --> 00:56:17,427
to what Franz Goldberg
has to say about brands.
1526
00:56:17,493 --> 00:56:18,895
Oh.
1527
00:56:18,962 --> 00:56:20,263
You think they would have
just brought Franz here,
1528
00:56:20,330 --> 00:56:22,899
but no, we got tape.
1529
00:56:22,966 --> 00:56:24,601
My audience likes
that I'm real.
1530
00:56:24,667 --> 00:56:27,170
- They don't want to be fed...
- It's just gonna go right...
1531
00:56:27,237 --> 00:56:29,539
Oh, this is funny.
There... There's Dad.
1532
00:56:29,606 --> 00:56:30,673
[smooth music]
1533
00:56:30,739 --> 00:56:33,176
Well, hello there.
1534
00:56:33,243 --> 00:56:35,645
- [laughter]
- May I help you?
1535
00:56:35,712 --> 00:56:37,614
I'm here to plant some seed.
1536
00:56:37,680 --> 00:56:39,182
[laughter]
1537
00:56:39,249 --> 00:56:41,817
He's a gardener.
You can tell by his hat.
1538
00:56:41,884 --> 00:56:44,387
Let me show you
where you can plant it.
1539
00:56:44,454 --> 00:56:46,556
Yes, come on.
1540
00:56:46,623 --> 00:56:48,358
That bush needs trimming.
1541
00:56:48,424 --> 00:56:49,791
[laughter]
1542
00:56:52,128 --> 00:56:53,863
My dad had
a lot of side jobs.
1543
00:56:53,930 --> 00:56:56,798
- So did your mom.
- So did your mom, apparently.
1544
00:56:57,766 --> 00:56:59,469
So did my mom, apparently.
1545
00:57:02,005 --> 00:57:03,439
Are there any questions?
1546
00:57:03,506 --> 00:57:05,141
[laughter]
1547
00:57:05,208 --> 00:57:06,409
No?
No questions.
1548
00:57:06,476 --> 00:57:07,910
I-I didn't think so.
1549
00:57:07,977 --> 00:57:09,979
All right, well, I have
a few questions myself.
1550
00:57:12,315 --> 00:57:13,616
- Thank you.
- Well done, buddy.
1551
00:57:13,683 --> 00:57:15,018
Well done.
1552
00:57:15,084 --> 00:57:16,986
- Come on, come on, come on.
- Bring it in.
1553
00:57:17,053 --> 00:57:19,889
[Q's mom] Hey, Brian.
Dad's on his way.
1554
00:57:19,956 --> 00:57:22,025
- How did it go?
- How did it go?
1555
00:57:22,091 --> 00:57:23,660
- Brian.
- Yeah.
1556
00:57:23,726 --> 00:57:26,262
I didn't know who was
gonna be more embarrassed.
1557
00:57:26,329 --> 00:57:27,930
- You or us.
- Well, I'll tell you what.
1558
00:57:27,997 --> 00:57:29,565
It didn't look like
you guys were embarrassed.
1559
00:57:29,632 --> 00:57:31,534
Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Quinn,
I'll be by next week
1560
00:57:31,601 --> 00:57:32,635
to film the sequel, okay?
1561
00:57:32,702 --> 00:57:34,203
All right, get out of here.
1562
00:57:34,270 --> 00:57:36,805
Don't answer the phone
when they call anymore, okay?
1563
00:57:36,873 --> 00:57:38,141
All right, love you, Ma.
I love you, Dad.
1564
00:57:38,207 --> 00:57:39,509
I'll talk to you guys
in a little bit.
1565
00:57:39,575 --> 00:57:42,245
[mellow music]
1566
00:57:46,015 --> 00:57:48,651
- [whistles]
- All right, here it is.
1567
00:57:48,718 --> 00:57:50,386
- [laughs]
- [Sal] Oh, yeah.
1568
00:57:50,453 --> 00:57:52,355
- There's an event going on.
- What is it?
1569
00:57:52,422 --> 00:57:54,524
- Right now, what is it?
- Okay.
1570
00:57:54,590 --> 00:57:57,160
- Sally, one of your closest friends is in town tonight.
- Yeah.
1571
00:57:57,226 --> 00:57:58,594
Jaden Smith has
a movie premiere.
1572
00:57:58,661 --> 00:58:00,396
- [laughter]
- Stop it.
1573
00:58:00,463 --> 00:58:02,332
All right, Sal, so now
you're Jaden's number one fan,
1574
00:58:02,398 --> 00:58:03,933
and all you gotta do
is just walk around
1575
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:05,068
and let people know it.
1576
00:58:05,134 --> 00:58:07,403
All right, where's our boy?
1577
00:58:07,470 --> 00:58:08,638
I feel like an idiot.
1578
00:58:08,705 --> 00:58:10,907
[Joe] Let me see
that tattoo, buddy.
1579
00:58:10,973 --> 00:58:12,342
Hi, can I take a picture
of your tattoo?
1580
00:58:12,408 --> 00:58:14,210
- Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.
- Nice shorts.
1581
00:58:14,277 --> 00:58:16,813
- I'm just his number one fan.
- Honestly, I see it.
1582
00:58:16,879 --> 00:58:18,448
I really see it.
1583
00:58:18,514 --> 00:58:20,550
[Joe] Guys, now do you see
what I had envisioned
1584
00:58:20,616 --> 00:58:22,085
so many seasons ago?
1585
00:58:22,151 --> 00:58:23,319
All right, Sal, you're up.
1586
00:58:23,386 --> 00:58:24,620
Three, two, one.
1587
00:58:25,855 --> 00:58:27,323
[laughter]
1588
00:58:30,760 --> 00:58:31,928
Look!
1589
00:58:31,994 --> 00:58:33,763
Jaden Smith, number one fan.
1590
00:58:33,830 --> 00:58:35,698
I'm his number one fan.
1591
00:58:35,765 --> 00:58:37,633
Act like
his number one fan, buddy!
1592
00:58:37,700 --> 00:58:38,935
I'm his number one fan.
1593
00:58:39,001 --> 00:58:40,169
You think
you're Jaden's number one fan?
1594
00:58:40,236 --> 00:58:41,637
- Yeah, I do.
- You got this shirt?
1595
00:58:41,704 --> 00:58:43,106
- I wish I had the shirt.
- You got the tat, though?
1596
00:58:43,172 --> 00:58:44,574
- Let's do, oh.
- Come on.
1597
00:58:46,476 --> 00:58:48,911
- You know Jaden's blood type?
- There you go.
1598
00:58:48,978 --> 00:58:50,813
- [imitates buzzer] Wrong!
- What is it?
1599
00:58:50,880 --> 00:58:52,115
- A-negative.
- Yeah, right.
1600
00:58:52,181 --> 00:58:53,449
- Yeah, it is.
- [laughter]
1601
00:58:53,516 --> 00:58:55,752
Sal, I need a little bit
more crazy eyes.
1602
00:58:55,818 --> 00:58:58,287
[overlapping chatter]
1603
00:58:58,354 --> 00:59:00,189
- Has anybody seen him?
- Can I see your tattoo?
1604
00:59:00,256 --> 00:59:01,691
I gotta meet him.
I gotta meet him.
1605
00:59:01,758 --> 00:59:03,259
Yo, pal, do you know
when the Q&A is with Jaden?
1606
00:59:03,326 --> 00:59:04,827
Do you know when the Q&A is?
1607
00:59:04,894 --> 00:59:06,162
[laughter]
1608
00:59:06,229 --> 00:59:07,764
It's just wait and hold.
1609
00:59:07,830 --> 00:59:09,165
Wait and hold?
1610
00:59:09,232 --> 00:59:10,533
- Do you know where Jaden is?
- What?
1611
00:59:10,600 --> 00:59:12,034
- Do you know where Jaden is?
- I don't.
1612
00:59:12,101 --> 00:59:13,002
- I'm so sorry.
- You're no help to me.
1613
00:59:13,069 --> 00:59:15,505
[laughter]
1614
00:59:15,571 --> 00:59:18,608
Jaden's movie has now ended,
and there's a Q&A afterward.
1615
00:59:18,674 --> 00:59:20,710
- This is awesome.
- [Murr] There he is.
1616
00:59:20,777 --> 00:59:23,079
There's Jaden.
1617
00:59:23,146 --> 00:59:25,848
Before we do that,
I just wanted to start off...
1618
00:59:25,915 --> 00:59:28,518
Um...
1619
00:59:28,584 --> 00:59:29,519
[Joe] Hop up, Sal.
1620
00:59:29,585 --> 00:59:30,820
[laughter]
1621
00:59:30,888 --> 00:59:32,488
So I have
a million questions,
1622
00:59:32,555 --> 00:59:34,858
but do we have some questions
out here from the audience?
1623
00:59:34,924 --> 00:59:36,125
Come on, buddy.
Get into it.
1624
00:59:36,192 --> 00:59:37,895
- Oh! Oh!
- Do we have a really good one?
1625
00:59:37,960 --> 00:59:39,128
So we have a question
right over here.
1626
00:59:39,195 --> 00:59:41,297
Oh, yes!
Yes!
1627
00:59:41,831 --> 00:59:42,999
Whoo!
1628
00:59:43,065 --> 00:59:45,134
[cheering]
1629
00:59:45,201 --> 00:59:47,036
I'm just the number one
Jaden Smith fan.
1630
00:59:47,103 --> 00:59:49,539
I'm just Jaden's
number one fan.
1631
00:59:49,605 --> 00:59:50,540
Can we hug?
1632
00:59:50,606 --> 00:59:52,175
Why don't you just
come on up here?
1633
00:59:52,241 --> 00:59:53,409
Can I .really?
Oh, thank you guys so much!@
1634
00:59:53,476 --> 00:59:55,244
- Would you guys mind?
- Come on up!
1635
00:59:55,311 --> 00:59:56,813
- Thank you, thank you.
- [Murr] What Sal doesn't know
1636
00:59:56,880 --> 00:59:58,781
is that Jaden is in cahoots
with us this whole time
1637
00:59:58,848 --> 01:00:00,851
- Yes.
- [Joe] Oh, look at those shorts.
1638
01:00:00,918 --> 01:00:04,687
Wow, wow.
Come on over.
1639
01:00:04,754 --> 01:00:06,656
Come on over.
Wow.
1640
01:00:06,722 --> 01:00:08,424
Thanks for coming out.
1641
01:00:08,491 --> 01:00:10,393
Oh, cool.
This is very cool.
1642
01:00:10,460 --> 01:00:13,529
Thank you so much.
Ah, bam!
1643
01:00:13,596 --> 01:00:15,097
- Wow.
- [cheers and applause]
1644
01:00:15,164 --> 01:00:17,033
- [laughter]
- Are you serious?
1645
01:00:17,099 --> 01:00:18,869
- That is...
- Oh, my God, ah!
1646
01:00:18,936 --> 01:00:20,770
- Are you serious?
- Ah!
1647
01:00:20,837 --> 01:00:22,371
[Jaden] Are you serious?
1648
01:00:22,438 --> 01:00:23,941
I got this a few years ago.
1649
01:00:24,006 --> 01:00:25,374
Been waiting to show it to you.
1650
01:00:25,441 --> 01:00:27,343
I just feel like
I look a lot different.
1651
01:00:27,410 --> 01:00:29,479
Maybe we could
get it, like, redone.
1652
01:00:29,545 --> 01:00:31,781
Sal, just say, "Well, I do
have this other thigh."
1653
01:00:31,848 --> 01:00:34,217
Revamped. Something.
1654
01:00:34,283 --> 01:00:35,184
- [Joe] There you go, Sal.
- Just 'cause it's old.
1655
01:00:35,251 --> 01:00:36,586
It's just old.
1656
01:00:36,652 --> 01:00:39,522
You know, I feel like
if it was newer...
1657
01:00:40,423 --> 01:00:41,190
I...
1658
01:00:41,257 --> 01:00:42,758
I do have this other thigh.
1659
01:00:42,825 --> 01:00:44,360
- I could get an updated one...
- [cheers and applause]
1660
01:00:46,897 --> 01:00:49,098
You need anything, buddy?
1661
01:00:49,165 --> 01:00:50,233
[tattoo needle buzzing]
1662
01:00:50,299 --> 01:00:53,035
- I'm good, I guess.
- Not you.
1663
01:00:53,102 --> 01:00:55,104
Yes, I'm fine, Joe.
Thank you.
1664
01:00:57,573 --> 01:00:59,108
That's it,
I think we're done.
1665
01:00:59,175 --> 01:01:00,376
- Yeah!
- [cheering]
1666
01:01:00,443 --> 01:01:03,012
[Joe] We did it!
We did it!
1667
01:01:03,079 --> 01:01:05,147
- Oh!
- Oh, I gotta see this!
1668
01:01:05,214 --> 01:01:06,182
Are you ready
to meet yourself?
1669
01:01:06,249 --> 01:01:08,919
- Hold on.
- Three, two, one!
1670
01:01:08,986 --> 01:01:12,288
- [all cheering]
- Oh, my God!
1671
01:01:13,689 --> 01:01:14,858
Whoa!
1672
01:01:14,925 --> 01:01:16,626
That might be the best
tattoo I've ever seen.
1673
01:01:16,692 --> 01:01:18,794
This is definitely better
than the last one.
1674
01:01:18,862 --> 01:01:20,363
[laughter]
1675
01:01:20,429 --> 01:01:22,498
My guy.
My guy.
1676
01:01:22,565 --> 01:01:24,667
Jaden, we'll see you
in five years?
1677
01:01:24,734 --> 01:01:26,937
- Oh, yeah.
- [laughter]
1678
01:01:27,004 --> 01:01:28,437
Hopefully before then.
1679
01:01:30,941 --> 01:01:33,576
[muffled dance music]
1680
01:01:41,183 --> 01:01:43,419
I know.
It's just like Ibiza.
1681
01:01:43,486 --> 01:01:44,720
Hey, bud.
What's up?
1682
01:01:46,756 --> 01:01:48,324
[woman] Is that the Molly?
1683
01:01:48,391 --> 01:01:50,259
It's not the Molly.
1684
01:01:50,326 --> 01:01:51,761
DJ, bring down the beat.
1685
01:01:53,129 --> 01:01:55,598
Uh, what is this shit?
1686
01:01:55,665 --> 01:01:56,766
What's that, bud?
1687
01:01:58,167 --> 01:02:00,369
Hey, hey, hey!
Here we go!
1688
01:02:00,436 --> 01:02:02,338
Now it's a party!
Later, Q.
1689
01:02:02,973 --> 01:02:04,307
Okay.
1690
01:02:04,373 --> 01:02:05,641
Yep, all right.
1691
01:02:05,708 --> 01:02:07,209
So that's what
he does at night, okay.
1692
01:02:18,254 --> 01:02:21,123
[gentle music]
1693
01:02:34,037 --> 01:02:35,504
[Q] Good boy.
1694
01:02:35,571 --> 01:02:37,874
Did you get the toys I sent?
1695
01:02:38,741 --> 01:02:39,742
Okay.
1696
01:02:39,809 --> 01:02:41,410
Oh, oh, Benjamin?
1697
01:02:41,477 --> 01:02:44,280
Okay, don't,
don't hang up, don't hang up!
1698
01:02:44,982 --> 01:02:46,382
[cat meows]
1699
01:02:46,917 --> 01:02:48,051
He hung up.
1700
01:02:48,117 --> 01:02:50,087
Well, Brian Quinn
misses his cats.
1701
01:02:50,152 --> 01:02:51,554
Your cats.
I miss my family.
1702
01:02:51,621 --> 01:02:53,189
You know my daughter McKayla?
1703
01:02:53,255 --> 01:02:54,390
She rode her bike
for the first time yesterday.
1704
01:02:54,457 --> 01:02:55,825
- [Q] Hmm.
- Wasn't there.
1705
01:02:58,361 --> 01:03:00,563
- Milana?
- Who's that?
1706
01:03:00,630 --> 01:03:03,066
Your daughter.
1707
01:03:03,132 --> 01:03:04,433
Her name's Milana.
1708
01:03:05,869 --> 01:03:07,370
Sweet Jesus.
How long have we been gone?
1709
01:03:07,436 --> 01:03:09,572
- Three days.
- What are we doing?
1710
01:03:09,639 --> 01:03:11,307
All right,
we're four grown men.
1711
01:03:11,374 --> 01:03:12,842
We're out here jacking around,
1712
01:03:12,909 --> 01:03:14,443
trying to fix a mistake
we made when we were kids.
1713
01:03:14,510 --> 01:03:16,646
- It's stupid.
- Yeah, you know what?
1714
01:03:16,712 --> 01:03:18,581
Maybe we didn't think
this one all the way through.
1715
01:03:18,648 --> 01:03:20,516
I've been getting
phone numbers, girls.
1716
01:03:20,583 --> 01:03:22,318
Local girls
that want to meet me.
1717
01:03:22,385 --> 01:03:23,285
But if you guys want to leave
and go home,
1718
01:03:23,352 --> 01:03:24,420
I'm ready to go now.
1719
01:03:24,487 --> 01:03:26,389
- Yeah, yeah, me too.
- I'll go.
1720
01:03:26,455 --> 01:03:27,790
Yeah, I gotta get back to
what's-her-face, come on.
1721
01:03:27,858 --> 01:03:29,960
- All right.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
1722
01:03:30,027 --> 01:03:31,094
We're almost there.
1723
01:03:31,160 --> 01:03:32,963
Sal, come on.
Going home, bud.
1724
01:03:33,030 --> 01:03:33,964
- Come on, bud.
- [Sal] No!
1725
01:03:34,031 --> 01:03:35,364
[dramatic music]
1726
01:03:35,431 --> 01:03:37,700
We're not going anywhere!
1727
01:03:37,767 --> 01:03:39,535
Sal, what are you doing?
1728
01:03:41,470 --> 01:03:43,006
We're gonna finish
what we started.
1729
01:03:43,073 --> 01:03:44,640
He's gone loco.
1730
01:03:44,707 --> 01:03:48,111
I didn't come here all this
way to turn around, to quit!
1731
01:03:48,177 --> 01:03:50,446
I'm not gonna go back home to
Staten Island so they can say,
1732
01:03:50,513 --> 01:03:52,883
"You know that great guy,
Sal Vulcano
1733
01:03:52,949 --> 01:03:55,518
and his friends that he has,
they turned around.
1734
01:03:55,584 --> 01:03:59,522
They went all the way down
to Georgia."
1735
01:04:00,857 --> 01:04:01,958
Not today, babies!
1736
01:04:02,025 --> 01:04:04,527
[breathing heavily]
1737
01:04:04,593 --> 01:04:06,796
- [Murr] Oh.
- I did it.
1738
01:04:08,464 --> 01:04:10,232
Shut the fuck up.
1739
01:04:10,299 --> 01:04:11,600
It's fine, all right?
We'll stay.
1740
01:04:11,667 --> 01:04:13,402
We'll keep going.
Whatever you need, buddy.
1741
01:04:13,469 --> 01:04:15,072
We were just tired,
got a little homesick.
1742
01:04:15,138 --> 01:04:16,873
Yeah.
Put the board down.
1743
01:04:18,574 --> 01:04:20,843
Okay, great, 'cause as long
as we come to an agreement,
1744
01:04:20,911 --> 01:04:22,278
'cause I just want
to see Abdul.
1745
01:04:22,344 --> 01:04:23,846
- [Murr] Communicate.
- Thank you guys.
1746
01:04:23,914 --> 01:04:25,214
All you had to do is say
let's keep going, we'll go.
1747
01:04:25,281 --> 01:04:26,782
- I get emotional.
- We'll do it.
1748
01:04:26,849 --> 01:04:28,919
You weren't really gonna
hit us with that, were you?
1749
01:04:28,985 --> 01:04:30,153
For me, it's unclear.
1750
01:04:30,219 --> 01:04:32,889
[upbeat rock music]
1751
01:04:37,593 --> 01:04:39,963
I think this car breaks down
on the side of most roads,
1752
01:04:40,030 --> 01:04:41,497
people are gonna stop and help.
1753
01:04:41,564 --> 01:04:43,066
- I agree.
- Yeah, I think so.
1754
01:04:43,133 --> 01:04:44,667
I think they will
stop to help,
1755
01:04:44,734 --> 01:04:46,970
but the question is, how long
will they stick around?
1756
01:04:47,037 --> 01:04:49,906
- Until, until it gets weird.
- Until it gets weird.
1757
01:04:49,973 --> 01:04:51,807
How weird should we make it,
is the real question.
1758
01:04:51,875 --> 01:04:54,443
- Guys, did we just make plans?
- I think we did.
1759
01:04:54,510 --> 01:04:56,245
- [laughter]
- Pull over.
1760
01:04:56,312 --> 01:04:58,380
- We got some work to do.
- You got it.
1761
01:05:00,549 --> 01:05:02,351
[Joe] Park it right here.
Let's do it.
1762
01:05:06,990 --> 01:05:08,758
- [Joe] All right, here we go.
- Here we go.
1763
01:05:08,824 --> 01:05:10,459
[Joe] Sal, you broke down,
unfortunately, buddy.
1764
01:05:10,526 --> 01:05:12,095
Your object is to get people
to stop you to help you.
1765
01:05:12,162 --> 01:05:14,497
Otherwise you're gonna be
standing down on the grass
1766
01:05:14,563 --> 01:05:16,867
next to a car
getting bit by mosquitoes.
1767
01:05:16,933 --> 01:05:19,368
All right, well,
the quickest way to do this
1768
01:05:19,435 --> 01:05:20,904
is to just
make them stop, right?
1769
01:05:20,971 --> 01:05:23,173
I'm proud of you, buddy.
You're taking some initiative.
1770
01:05:23,240 --> 01:05:24,740
Whoo!
1771
01:05:25,641 --> 01:05:28,310
She's, uh, she's dead.
1772
01:05:28,377 --> 01:05:29,845
- [laughter]
- Whoo.
1773
01:05:29,913 --> 01:05:32,581
She went down
a couple miles back.
1774
01:05:36,153 --> 01:05:37,620
Hey, how you doing, man?
1775
01:05:37,686 --> 01:05:40,422
It's two guys, and I think
they might want to kill me.
1776
01:05:40,489 --> 01:05:41,690
Here we go.
1777
01:05:41,757 --> 01:05:43,492
Can't do no harm, no foul.
Bill.
1778
01:05:43,559 --> 01:05:44,861
Hey, how you doing, Bill?
Sal.
1779
01:05:44,928 --> 01:05:46,529
- [laughter]
- Yeah, my name's Sal.
1780
01:05:46,595 --> 01:05:47,964
- What's your name?
- Mark.
1781
01:05:48,031 --> 01:05:49,431
Usually when something
goes wrong,
1782
01:05:49,498 --> 01:05:50,800
I just blast something
up the tailpipe.
1783
01:05:50,867 --> 01:05:53,536
[laughter]
1784
01:05:53,602 --> 01:05:54,770
Usually something goes wrong,
I just
1785
01:05:54,837 --> 01:05:56,273
blast something
up the tailpipe.
1786
01:05:56,338 --> 01:05:57,773
Up the tailpipe?
1787
01:05:57,840 --> 01:05:59,508
Well, I mean,
first rule of thumb, right?
1788
01:05:59,575 --> 01:06:00,810
You get broke down,
you gotta blast something
1789
01:06:00,877 --> 01:06:02,344
right up the tailpipe,
and I was gonna
1790
01:06:02,411 --> 01:06:03,612
blast something,
but I don't have nothing.
1791
01:06:03,679 --> 01:06:04,981
That's what I thought you did.
1792
01:06:05,048 --> 01:06:06,283
- No, no.
- No.
1793
01:06:06,348 --> 01:06:08,584
[laughter]
1794
01:06:08,651 --> 01:06:10,586
[Joe] Guys, why isn't
this fixed yet?
1795
01:06:10,653 --> 01:06:13,190
- [laughter]
- [Q] Yeah, Sal...
1796
01:06:13,256 --> 01:06:14,690
I don't know,
I don't even...
1797
01:06:14,757 --> 01:06:16,026
I wish I knew more
about the thing.
1798
01:06:16,092 --> 01:06:17,793
Well, what's the issue?
It's, I mean...
1799
01:06:17,861 --> 01:06:19,129
I mean, you can't fix it
already or what's going on?
1800
01:06:19,196 --> 01:06:20,629
We don't know
what it's doing.
1801
01:06:20,696 --> 01:06:22,498
I mean, you know,
guys, you've been here
1802
01:06:22,565 --> 01:06:24,267
a couple minutes already, guys.
1803
01:06:24,333 --> 01:06:25,801
Tick-tock, Bill.
1804
01:06:25,869 --> 01:06:27,270
This is really nice of
you guys, 'cause, you know,
1805
01:06:27,336 --> 01:06:28,737
I never would've stopped
for you guys.
1806
01:06:31,274 --> 01:06:33,442
I mean, I gotta be honest,
you fellas are top-notch.
1807
01:06:33,509 --> 01:06:34,610
It's...
1808
01:06:34,677 --> 01:06:36,012
Sal, you gonna say
that line or no?
1809
01:06:36,079 --> 01:06:37,847
[Joe] Here we go, oh.
1810
01:06:37,914 --> 01:06:40,083
I wouldn't have stopped for you
guys, so that's really nice.
1811
01:06:41,450 --> 01:06:42,853
There wouldn't be no use
to stopping.
1812
01:06:42,919 --> 01:06:44,653
Yeah, right, right,
right, right, right.
1813
01:06:44,720 --> 01:06:46,857
The only thing I could suggest
if you guys were stuck,
1814
01:06:46,923 --> 01:06:48,859
you could blast something
up your tailpipe, though.
1815
01:06:48,925 --> 01:06:49,993
[laughter]
1816
01:06:50,060 --> 01:06:51,760
All right, bud,
head around to the trunk.
1817
01:06:51,827 --> 01:06:53,662
We've hidden something
in there for him.
1818
01:06:53,729 --> 01:06:55,764
I think I got something here.
Let me see.
1819
01:06:57,499 --> 01:06:59,702
- [gasps]
- [laughter]
1820
01:07:01,670 --> 01:07:03,173
What the hell is that?
1821
01:07:03,240 --> 01:07:04,740
Okay.
1822
01:07:04,807 --> 01:07:06,142
[laughter]
1823
01:07:08,677 --> 01:07:10,247
Yeah, there's no string...
1824
01:07:10,313 --> 01:07:11,780
So, Sal, in the backseat,
1825
01:07:11,847 --> 01:07:12,916
we put a check
for good Samaritans.
1826
01:07:12,983 --> 01:07:15,384
This is, guys...
Mark, Bill...
1827
01:07:15,451 --> 01:07:16,920
This is the check
1828
01:07:18,088 --> 01:07:21,124
for good Samaritans
who stopped
1829
01:07:21,191 --> 01:07:22,725
and pulled over to help me.
1830
01:07:22,791 --> 01:07:24,760
- [phone rings]
- This is a check for 5...
1831
01:07:24,827 --> 01:07:27,097
Take that, Mark, go ahead.
1832
01:07:27,163 --> 01:07:28,397
[laughter]
1833
01:07:28,464 --> 01:07:29,698
Hello.
1834
01:07:29,765 --> 01:07:32,168
- Mark's still rocking a flip.
- [laughs]
1835
01:07:32,235 --> 01:07:34,938
You took the call right in the
middle of the check ceremony.
1836
01:07:35,005 --> 01:07:36,538
So anyway, guys, this is
1837
01:07:36,605 --> 01:07:38,141
from the Staten Island
Credit Union,
1838
01:07:38,208 --> 01:07:39,775
this is a Good Samaritan check
1839
01:07:39,842 --> 01:07:41,311
for $5,000
1840
01:07:41,378 --> 01:07:42,745
for helping people in need.
1841
01:07:42,811 --> 01:07:44,047
- Ain't legal tender.
- [Joe] Try to rip it.
1842
01:07:44,114 --> 01:07:45,614
You don't want it?
'Cause I'll...
1843
01:07:45,681 --> 01:07:47,683
Yeah, yeah, don't tear that,
don't tear that.
1844
01:07:47,750 --> 01:07:49,551
- Oh.
- [laughter]
1845
01:07:49,618 --> 01:07:51,087
Thank you.
Bill, that's for you, man.
1846
01:07:51,154 --> 01:07:53,223
[bell dings]
1847
01:07:53,290 --> 01:07:55,325
[mellow harmonica music]
1848
01:07:55,392 --> 01:07:56,692
[Joe] Murr,
you're walking funny.
1849
01:07:56,759 --> 01:07:58,094
Yeah, no kidding
I'm walking funny, Joe.
1850
01:07:58,161 --> 01:07:59,561
Is it because of that thong
we put on you?
1851
01:07:59,628 --> 01:08:00,829
What thong?
This thong?
1852
01:08:00,897 --> 01:08:02,665
- There it is.
- [laughter]
1853
01:08:03,333 --> 01:08:04,700
Dude, thank you.
1854
01:08:04,767 --> 01:08:06,403
What's your name, bud?
What is it? I'm sorry.
1855
01:08:06,468 --> 01:08:07,670
- Dennis.
- Dennis, I'm James.
1856
01:08:07,736 --> 01:08:09,005
I appreciate
you stopping, Denise.
1857
01:08:09,072 --> 01:08:10,839
I appreciate you stopping...
[laughs]
1858
01:08:10,907 --> 01:08:12,808
[laughter]
1859
01:08:12,876 --> 01:08:14,476
I appreciate you
stopping, Denise.
1860
01:08:14,543 --> 01:08:16,079
I don't know
the first thing.
1861
01:08:16,146 --> 01:08:17,813
Come around here, I'll show you
what I noticed before.
1862
01:08:17,881 --> 01:08:20,317
I noticed that before it was
smoking primarily from
1863
01:08:20,383 --> 01:08:21,450
from this area here.
1864
01:08:21,517 --> 01:08:22,618
I ain't got time
for this, man.
1865
01:08:22,685 --> 01:08:24,187
- I don't even know.
- No?
1866
01:08:24,254 --> 01:08:26,056
[laughter]
1867
01:08:27,891 --> 01:08:29,426
- [Q] Murr loses again.
- Son of a bitch.
1868
01:08:29,491 --> 01:08:30,759
Did I just lose?
1869
01:08:30,826 --> 01:08:32,329
Did I just lose?
A thong was his weakness?
1870
01:08:32,395 --> 01:08:34,530
- [Sal] Murr, you gotta go again.
- Yeah.
1871
01:08:34,596 --> 01:08:36,799
What, is this like
double or nothing?
1872
01:08:36,866 --> 01:08:38,935
Thank you so much, man.
I appreciate it.
1873
01:08:39,002 --> 01:08:40,602
- James. Nice to meet you, bud.
- Good to meet you, man.
1874
01:08:40,669 --> 01:08:42,038
Here's what happened,
so I'm driving before.
1875
01:08:42,105 --> 01:08:44,341
But I don't even know
what I'm looking at, bro.
1876
01:08:44,407 --> 01:08:45,774
Want to have a laugh?
1877
01:08:45,841 --> 01:08:47,576
Fake strangle me
when the next car pulls by.
1878
01:08:47,643 --> 01:08:48,744
You want to have
a little fun? Watch.
1879
01:08:48,811 --> 01:08:50,447
Okay, okay, okay, go.
1880
01:08:50,512 --> 01:08:52,248
When this guy pulls by, pretend
you're strangling me, okay?
1881
01:08:52,315 --> 01:08:53,749
Gonna do it.
1882
01:08:53,816 --> 01:08:55,484
[Sal] Flail your arms.
Flail your arms!
1883
01:08:55,551 --> 01:08:57,887
- Flail, your arms.
- No, keep going. Don't stop now!
1884
01:08:57,954 --> 01:09:00,023
[laughter]
1885
01:09:02,959 --> 01:09:05,028
- [Sal] Dude!
- [laughter]
1886
01:09:06,528 --> 01:09:07,596
- [laughs]
- Nailed it.
1887
01:09:07,663 --> 01:09:09,698
Thanks, bud.
That was awesome.
1888
01:09:09,765 --> 01:09:11,567
You know what, dude, I'm so
glad that you pulled over.
1889
01:09:11,633 --> 01:09:13,069
I'm so glad you pulled over.
1890
01:09:13,136 --> 01:09:14,737
I was afraid it was
gonna be a woman and then...
1891
01:09:14,803 --> 01:09:16,239
I was afraid...
Nope, nope.
1892
01:09:16,306 --> 01:09:17,639
[laughter]
1893
01:09:17,706 --> 01:09:19,009
Nope, nope, nope.
1894
01:09:19,075 --> 01:09:20,243
[buzzer blares]
1895
01:09:20,310 --> 01:09:21,710
[mellow rock music]
1896
01:09:21,777 --> 01:09:23,679
[Joe] Car's a real lemon
right now, buddy.
1897
01:09:23,746 --> 01:09:25,949
- There you go.
- [vocalizing]
1898
01:09:26,016 --> 01:09:27,951
Oh, oh.
1899
01:09:28,018 --> 01:09:28,985
Oh, thank God.
1900
01:09:29,052 --> 01:09:30,519
Jump up and down
you're so excited.
1901
01:09:30,586 --> 01:09:33,722
- Yeah, yeah.
- Oh, yay.
1902
01:09:33,789 --> 01:09:35,225
Clap, clap, clap.
1903
01:09:35,291 --> 01:09:37,027
Yeah, yeah.
1904
01:09:37,093 --> 01:09:38,895
Turn around, do it
in circles, do it in circles.
1905
01:09:38,962 --> 01:09:41,797
I have been waiting for
somebody to pull over so long.
1906
01:09:41,865 --> 01:09:43,933
- [laughter]
- Oh, yes!
1907
01:09:45,768 --> 01:09:47,404
Dude, thank you so much.
1908
01:09:47,470 --> 01:09:49,339
Yay.
I love this car, man.
1909
01:09:49,406 --> 01:09:51,875
I've had this car for so long,
and then I was riding,
1910
01:09:51,941 --> 01:09:53,510
I hit a bump,
and then it just...
1911
01:09:53,609 --> 01:09:54,643
It just died.
It won't go again.
1912
01:09:54,710 --> 01:09:56,046
You believe that?
1913
01:09:56,112 --> 01:09:57,813
The old [bleep]wagon's
down for the count.
1914
01:09:57,881 --> 01:09:59,082
It's just dead, man.
1915
01:09:59,149 --> 01:10:00,316
The [bleep]wagon's
down for the count.
1916
01:10:00,383 --> 01:10:02,485
- [laughter]
- Yeah.
1917
01:10:02,551 --> 01:10:04,354
I lost my virginity
in this car.
1918
01:10:04,421 --> 01:10:05,922
So did my older brother.
1919
01:10:05,989 --> 01:10:07,490
- So did my older brother.
- [Sal] My younger brother.
1920
01:10:07,556 --> 01:10:09,259
- So did my younger brother.
- [Sal] My sister did.
1921
01:10:09,325 --> 01:10:11,027
My sis,
my sister did.
1922
01:10:11,094 --> 01:10:12,728
- It was a hell of a night.
- [laughter]
1923
01:10:12,795 --> 01:10:13,997
It was a hell of a night.
1924
01:10:14,064 --> 01:10:15,831
It was,
1925
01:10:15,899 --> 01:10:16,832
it was a hell of a night.
1926
01:10:16,900 --> 01:10:19,135
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Yeah.
1927
01:10:19,202 --> 01:10:20,736
You know what I got
in the trunk?
1928
01:10:20,803 --> 01:10:22,038
Yeah, show him
what you have in the trunk.
1929
01:10:24,340 --> 01:10:26,642
[Joe] Yeah, that's about
a hundred pounds of cocaine,
1930
01:10:26,708 --> 01:10:28,278
and bags full of cash.
1931
01:10:28,344 --> 01:10:33,116
What we have here is about
a hundred pounds of cocaine...
1932
01:10:33,183 --> 01:10:34,517
You're not DEA, are you?
1933
01:10:34,583 --> 01:10:36,186
You don't work
for the fuzz, do you?
1934
01:10:36,252 --> 01:10:38,154
[chuckles]
1935
01:10:38,221 --> 01:10:39,422
I'll tell you what, bro.
1936
01:10:39,489 --> 01:10:40,957
- You didn't see nothing.
- Put that back in the car.
1937
01:10:41,024 --> 01:10:41,991
Hurry up.
Here comes a bus.
1938
01:10:42,058 --> 01:10:44,127
This is... A bus?
Oh, shit.
1939
01:10:45,395 --> 01:10:47,897
Do you think anybody saw me?
1940
01:10:47,964 --> 01:10:49,466
Do you think they saw my face?
1941
01:10:49,532 --> 01:10:52,535
[laughter]
1942
01:10:52,601 --> 01:10:54,636
- You never saw me!
- [bell dings]
1943
01:10:54,703 --> 01:10:57,840
[rock music]
1944
01:11:02,811 --> 01:11:06,648
[Joe] Guys, this is,
this is a whole thing.
1945
01:11:06,715 --> 01:11:09,586
Joe, for no reason,
stop traffic
1946
01:11:09,651 --> 01:11:11,254
and let cars go
indiscriminately.
1947
01:11:11,321 --> 01:11:12,956
Let's stop a car.
1948
01:11:13,022 --> 01:11:14,690
He's gonna walk
right into the road.
1949
01:11:16,159 --> 01:11:18,760
Okay, take it easy.
I got 17 cars.
1950
01:11:18,827 --> 01:11:20,396
[laughter]
1951
01:11:20,463 --> 01:11:22,532
You're in.
1952
01:11:22,599 --> 01:11:23,732
Good.
1953
01:11:23,799 --> 01:11:25,667
Good, good, good.
1954
01:11:25,734 --> 01:11:28,138
[horn honks]
Come on, come on.
1955
01:11:28,204 --> 01:11:29,838
[laughter]
1956
01:11:29,906 --> 01:11:31,307
Come on, come on, stop.
1957
01:11:34,244 --> 01:11:35,677
[laughter]
1958
01:11:35,744 --> 01:11:37,080
There you go.
1959
01:11:37,147 --> 01:11:38,647
Joe, both arms, windmill,
opposite directions.
1960
01:11:38,714 --> 01:11:42,051
There you go.
There you go.
1961
01:11:42,118 --> 01:11:44,053
Guys, nobody will stop
to help me.
1962
01:11:44,120 --> 01:11:46,122
- [laughing]
- What are you doing?
1963
01:11:46,189 --> 01:11:48,024
Okay, this guy
just pulled over.
1964
01:11:51,628 --> 01:11:53,196
- Hi, I'm Joe.
- Mitch.
1965
01:11:53,263 --> 01:11:55,098
Mitch, good to see you, pal.
So the problem was I was...
1966
01:11:55,165 --> 01:11:56,798
I was driving down this road.
1967
01:11:56,866 --> 01:11:58,134
Keep him walking
around the whole car.
1968
01:11:58,201 --> 01:12:00,069
And then when I saw it,
I hit a bump.
1969
01:12:00,136 --> 01:12:01,803
And then I heard
a da-dunk-dunk-dunk.
1970
01:12:01,871 --> 01:12:03,640
Come on.
And a hit a buh-bump-bump.
1971
01:12:03,705 --> 01:12:06,209
And then when I hit it,
I heard a jiggle-jiggle here.
1972
01:12:06,276 --> 01:12:07,243
There was a jiggle.
1973
01:12:07,310 --> 01:12:08,478
Take him around
the whole car.
1974
01:12:08,545 --> 01:12:09,811
Then on the other side here...
1975
01:12:09,879 --> 01:12:11,548
Joe, I need,
I need two full rotations.
1976
01:12:11,614 --> 01:12:12,982
This is here,
this is one car.
1977
01:12:13,049 --> 01:12:14,551
- This is one.
- Come on, take a walk with me.
1978
01:12:14,617 --> 01:12:16,920
So I saw back here that
this wheel started to like,
1979
01:12:16,986 --> 01:12:18,820
if you look, like,
this is on pretty good.
1980
01:12:18,888 --> 01:12:20,323
- Okay.
- But the other one,
1981
01:12:20,390 --> 01:12:21,891
come on here, Mitch,
let me show you real quick.
1982
01:12:21,958 --> 01:12:23,359
Oh, no, now you went
the other way. Shit.
1983
01:12:23,426 --> 01:12:25,827
- He's undoing it, Joe!
- You're undoing...
1984
01:12:25,895 --> 01:12:27,297
You're undoing the loop.
No, you gotta come this way.
1985
01:12:27,363 --> 01:12:28,898
- [Murr] Yeah.
- So now we're back on track.
1986
01:12:28,965 --> 01:12:30,832
So this will be
a second rotation, yeah.
1987
01:12:30,900 --> 01:12:32,035
This hubcap is off.
1988
01:12:32,101 --> 01:12:33,870
The other side,
the two came off.
1989
01:12:33,937 --> 01:12:36,039
- Okay.
- This one here, hubcap.
1990
01:12:36,105 --> 01:12:37,540
So I got two hubcaps.
So now...
1991
01:12:37,607 --> 01:12:39,708
I think I actually need
three rotations, Joe.
1992
01:12:39,775 --> 01:12:41,611
Damn it.
How many rotations?
1993
01:12:41,678 --> 01:12:42,979
You need one more.
1994
01:12:43,046 --> 01:12:44,414
What are you trying
to accomplish here, Joe?
1995
01:12:44,480 --> 01:12:45,714
- Oh, me?
- Yeah.
1996
01:12:45,781 --> 01:12:47,183
Oh, no, I'm trying to get
the car to start.
1997
01:12:47,250 --> 01:12:48,318
But I walked you through
what happened, come here.
1998
01:12:48,384 --> 01:12:49,552
Mitch, Mitch...
1999
01:12:49,619 --> 01:12:51,321
You gotta look at this,
Mitch. Mitch, Mitch!
2000
01:12:51,387 --> 01:12:53,456
- Hold on, hold on.
- Joe, start hiding from him.
2001
01:12:53,523 --> 01:12:55,124
But I don't need...
2002
01:12:55,191 --> 01:12:56,559
[Sal] Joe, he's not
gonna chase you.
2003
01:12:56,626 --> 01:12:57,961
- Come on, Joe!
- Hey, man,
2004
01:12:58,027 --> 01:13:00,563
you're gonna make me
leave you, man, okay?
2005
01:13:00,630 --> 01:13:02,865
- Hey, man, I'm gone, man.
- No, no, Mitch, look at this!
2006
01:13:02,932 --> 01:13:05,335
- No.
- [laughter]
2007
01:13:05,401 --> 01:13:07,136
Mitch, but look, you gotta
look at this last one.
2008
01:13:07,203 --> 01:13:08,638
- Come here.
- Mitch.
2009
01:13:08,705 --> 01:13:10,006
Mitch, you're my best friend.
2010
01:13:10,073 --> 01:13:12,041
We're best friends, Mitch.
Mitch.
2011
01:13:12,108 --> 01:13:13,809
All I'm trying to do
is help you.
2012
01:13:13,876 --> 01:13:15,144
- [Mitch] I know, I'm trying...
- [Joe] You want to help me,
2013
01:13:15,211 --> 01:13:16,613
go around the car
one more time!
2014
01:13:16,679 --> 01:13:17,614
- One more time.
- Okay?
2015
01:13:17,680 --> 01:13:18,881
- Guess what.
- What?
2016
01:13:18,948 --> 01:13:20,650
- You gotta follow me.
- Okay. Deal.
2017
01:13:20,717 --> 01:13:22,485
I'm following you, Mitch.
2018
01:13:22,552 --> 01:13:23,785
- Joe...
- It's okay.
2019
01:13:23,853 --> 01:13:25,388
Joe, after this,
I'm going home.
2020
01:13:25,455 --> 01:13:27,290
Okay, you accomplished
your goal.
2021
01:13:27,357 --> 01:13:29,158
I did.
I did accomplish my goal.
2022
01:13:29,225 --> 01:13:30,660
- And you have a good day.
- That's it.
2023
01:13:30,727 --> 01:13:32,662
Mitch,
you're unbelievable, buddy.
2024
01:13:32,729 --> 01:13:33,863
Thank you so much.
2025
01:13:33,930 --> 01:13:35,398
That's how you hit home runs.
2026
01:13:35,465 --> 01:13:36,699
Great work, boys.
2027
01:13:36,765 --> 01:13:38,534
[rock music]
2028
01:13:43,473 --> 01:13:45,908
[Q] Lovely Florida.
Oh, what do we have here?
2029
01:13:45,975 --> 01:13:47,277
Check it out.
2030
01:13:47,343 --> 01:13:50,146
- [cheers and applause]
- Murr's our loser!
2031
01:13:50,213 --> 01:13:51,581
Oh!
2032
01:13:51,648 --> 01:13:53,483
[Q] Murr is forever our loser.
2033
01:13:53,549 --> 01:13:55,218
No Abdul for you, baby.
2034
01:13:55,285 --> 01:13:57,819
♪ She gon' make you
Move to Miami ♪
2035
01:13:57,887 --> 01:14:00,023
♪ She moving like a gypsy ♪
2036
01:14:00,089 --> 01:14:01,491
♪ Her body got me tipsy ♪
2037
01:14:01,557 --> 01:14:03,092
- Look at this!
- We have arrived.
2038
01:14:03,159 --> 01:14:05,794
Oh, look at this.
2039
01:14:05,862 --> 01:14:08,064
♪ Girl got me
Feeling risky ♪
2040
01:14:08,131 --> 01:14:11,100
[overlapping chatter]
2041
01:14:11,167 --> 01:14:13,369
Welcome to Miami, gentlemen.
Checking in?
2042
01:14:13,436 --> 01:14:15,338
You bet your sweet ass
we're checking in,
2043
01:14:15,405 --> 01:14:17,373
you bedroom-eyed baby bitch,
just kidding.
2044
01:14:17,440 --> 01:14:19,676
- We need help with luggage?
- We straight!
2045
01:14:19,742 --> 01:14:20,842
All good here, dawg.
2046
01:14:20,910 --> 01:14:23,413
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
2047
01:14:23,479 --> 01:14:25,682
Door!
2048
01:14:25,748 --> 01:14:27,784
Hey, watch the leather.
[chuckles]
2049
01:14:27,849 --> 01:14:29,719
Good joke.
2050
01:14:29,786 --> 01:14:31,187
♪ We gon' party ♪
2051
01:14:31,254 --> 01:14:32,989
♪ Freaking every weekend ♪
2052
01:14:33,056 --> 01:14:35,925
♪ Baby, we just
getting started ♪
2053
01:14:35,992 --> 01:14:39,962
[singing in Spanish]
2054
01:14:41,164 --> 01:14:42,565
♪ Damn, you got me, girl ♪
2055
01:14:42,632 --> 01:14:45,301
♪ That body's built
Like a Bugatti ♪
2056
01:14:45,368 --> 01:14:47,503
♪ And if you look,
You'll fall in love ♪
2057
01:14:47,570 --> 01:14:49,939
♪ She got that ass,
She make... ♪
2058
01:14:50,006 --> 01:14:52,375
It's always...
2059
01:14:52,442 --> 01:14:53,943
I gotta go back down!
[sighs]
2060
01:15:02,185 --> 01:15:03,786
♪ She gon' make you move
to Miami ♪
2061
01:15:03,853 --> 01:15:05,655
- VIPs.
- What do you think?
2062
01:15:05,722 --> 01:15:06,989
What do you think?
VIP!
2063
01:15:07,056 --> 01:15:08,891
Stands for
"Very Important Man."
2064
01:15:08,958 --> 01:15:10,626
- Abdul!
- Get to the party.
2065
01:15:10,693 --> 01:15:12,095
Abdul!
2066
01:15:14,464 --> 01:15:17,667
[all chanting]
Abdul! Abdul! Abdul!
2067
01:15:17,734 --> 01:15:19,135
[cheering]
2068
01:15:19,202 --> 01:15:21,304
Abdul! Abdul!
Abdul!
2069
01:15:21,371 --> 01:15:22,939
[somber music]
2070
01:15:28,144 --> 01:15:29,846
Wow,
look at this place, huh?
2071
01:15:29,912 --> 01:15:32,281
Whoa.
Oh, yeah.
2072
01:15:32,348 --> 01:15:33,783
Door.
2073
01:15:33,851 --> 01:15:36,319
- This is crazy.
- Wow. Check it.
2074
01:15:36,386 --> 01:15:38,154
Yeah, but we made it, boys.
2075
01:15:38,221 --> 01:15:39,722
It's us, settle down.
Everybody settle down.
2076
01:15:39,789 --> 01:15:41,791
[laughter on television]
2077
01:15:41,859 --> 01:15:43,359
- You have a finger...
- Very good, all right.
2078
01:15:43,426 --> 01:15:46,329
...in your ass [bleep]
on television!
2079
01:15:46,396 --> 01:15:48,431
- There you go.
- [laughter]
2080
01:15:49,732 --> 01:15:50,700
[upbeat music]
2081
01:15:50,767 --> 01:15:52,935
This is so nice.
2082
01:15:53,002 --> 01:15:54,570
- Paula.
- Hey, Paula.
2083
01:15:54,637 --> 01:15:56,906
Hey, guys, how are you?
You made it.
2084
01:15:56,973 --> 01:15:58,441
- Where's Murr?
- Who he?
2085
01:15:58,508 --> 01:16:00,710
Oh, it turns out
there was only three tickets.
2086
01:16:00,777 --> 01:16:03,379
So we decided to compete
in a hidden camera challenge...
2087
01:16:03,446 --> 01:16:04,514
[laughs]
2088
01:16:05,782 --> 01:16:07,950
You guys are hysterical.
[laughs]
2089
01:16:10,720 --> 01:16:12,221
Okay.
2090
01:16:15,158 --> 01:16:18,795
- Well, there's our table.
- She thinks I'm hysterical.
2091
01:16:18,862 --> 01:16:19,996
- That's nice.
- You are funny.
2092
01:16:20,062 --> 01:16:22,665
♪ Baby, pick your head up ♪
2093
01:16:22,732 --> 01:16:27,470
♪ Come on and look me
In the face ♪
2094
01:16:27,537 --> 01:16:30,406
♪ 'Cause I can tell
That something ♪
2095
01:16:30,473 --> 01:16:34,210
♪ Is bringing you down ♪
2096
01:16:34,277 --> 01:16:36,679
♪ Is it the rumor ♪
2097
01:16:36,746 --> 01:16:39,081
♪ That another boy ♪
2098
01:16:39,148 --> 01:16:42,752
♪ Wants to take your place ♪
2099
01:16:42,819 --> 01:16:46,022
♪ Have you been
Hearing the stories ♪
2100
01:16:46,088 --> 01:16:48,491
♪ They're going around ♪
2101
01:16:48,558 --> 01:16:49,725
So funny.
2102
01:16:49,792 --> 01:16:52,261
That looks like Murr
from Impractical Jokers.
2103
01:16:52,328 --> 01:16:54,330
No way.
He looks too sad and lonely.
2104
01:16:54,397 --> 01:16:56,065
Yeah, and they're never
seen alone.
2105
01:16:56,132 --> 01:16:57,433
- They're tight like that.
- Yeah.
2106
01:16:57,500 --> 01:17:00,102
So anyways,
like I was saying, she...
2107
01:17:00,169 --> 01:17:01,771
♪ The moon
And the stars above ♪
2108
01:17:01,838 --> 01:17:03,773
Okay, so when you're making
a balsamic reduction,
2109
01:17:03,840 --> 01:17:05,842
you really want to have
the flame at a nice simmer.
2110
01:17:05,909 --> 01:17:07,543
If the heat is too hot,
it's not gonna reduce
2111
01:17:07,610 --> 01:17:09,145
the way you want it,
and the most important part
2112
01:17:09,212 --> 01:17:11,247
is to put the drizzle
right when it's hot.
2113
01:17:11,314 --> 01:17:13,549
And that's chicken, salads,
fish dishes, whatever?
2114
01:17:13,616 --> 01:17:15,785
Any dish.
It's about the presentaish.
2115
01:17:15,853 --> 01:17:17,687
[somber piano music]
2116
01:17:26,562 --> 01:17:28,664
[uplifting music]
2117
01:17:37,773 --> 01:17:39,408
[grunting]
2118
01:17:50,988 --> 01:17:54,123
[dance music playing]
2119
01:17:59,762 --> 01:18:01,063
What are you doing?
2120
01:18:01,130 --> 01:18:02,665
Kinda getting back into it
a little bit.
2121
01:18:02,732 --> 01:18:03,799
It looks like you're hurt.
2122
01:18:03,867 --> 01:18:05,501
Nah, I feel great.
2123
01:18:05,568 --> 01:18:08,204
- That does not look like you think it looks, buddy.
- Yeah.
2124
01:18:08,271 --> 01:18:10,072
I don't know
if I agree with you.
2125
01:18:10,139 --> 01:18:12,742
Everyone here agrees with us.
2126
01:18:13,676 --> 01:18:15,077
All right, all right.
2127
01:18:15,144 --> 01:18:16,479
All right,
we need Murray back,
2128
01:18:16,546 --> 01:18:18,147
'cause we're starting
to turn on each other.
2129
01:18:18,214 --> 01:18:19,448
You know, it just doesn't
feel right without Murr.
2130
01:18:19,515 --> 01:18:21,150
Because he's not here,
I'll admit it.
2131
01:18:21,217 --> 01:18:22,451
I miss him a little.
2132
01:18:22,518 --> 01:18:24,287
What are we even
still doing here?
2133
01:18:24,353 --> 01:18:25,788
We accomplished
what we set out to do.
2134
01:18:25,856 --> 01:18:28,257
We didn't mess up the night.
I'm not having fun.
2135
01:18:28,324 --> 01:18:30,593
We're nowhere near
Paula anyway.
2136
01:18:30,660 --> 01:18:33,329
Why don't we make like a tree
and go make fun of Murray?
2137
01:18:33,396 --> 01:18:35,231
- Yeah.
- All right.
2138
01:18:37,533 --> 01:18:38,668
[gasps]
2139
01:18:38,734 --> 01:18:40,536
[triumphant fanfare]
2140
01:18:43,139 --> 01:18:46,208
Look at this vanilla angel.
2141
01:18:47,044 --> 01:18:48,544
He's magnificent.
2142
01:18:48,611 --> 01:18:50,513
You glorious,
luminous ferret.
2143
01:18:50,580 --> 01:18:52,848
I made the cut.
I made the cut.
2144
01:18:52,916 --> 01:18:54,617
I'm in, boys.
2145
01:18:54,684 --> 01:18:56,752
You just had to come,
didn't you?
2146
01:18:56,819 --> 01:18:58,421
The unmitigated gall, bro.
2147
01:18:58,487 --> 01:19:00,356
I mean, you lost
and you show up?
2148
01:19:00,423 --> 01:19:02,124
- What about the rules?
- Yeah, I mean...
2149
01:19:02,191 --> 01:19:04,126
we're gonna pass Go
and collect $200?
2150
01:19:04,193 --> 01:19:05,328
We're breaking rules?
2151
01:19:05,394 --> 01:19:06,729
I'm not playing Monopoly
like that!
2152
01:19:06,796 --> 01:19:08,031
Really?
2153
01:19:08,097 --> 01:19:09,565
I thought you guys
would be realizing
2154
01:19:09,632 --> 01:19:11,133
that the four of us
are better together.
2155
01:19:11,200 --> 01:19:13,971
This place is thebomb.com.
2156
01:19:14,037 --> 01:19:15,605
There's Paula Abdul.
2157
01:19:15,671 --> 01:19:16,606
Paula!
2158
01:19:16,672 --> 01:19:19,108
- Right, she's right there.
- Hi.
2159
01:19:21,510 --> 01:19:23,279
She's clocking us
in a weird way.
2160
01:19:23,346 --> 01:19:26,382
[dramatic music]
2161
01:19:28,351 --> 01:19:29,452
[alarm blares]
2162
01:19:29,518 --> 01:19:31,855
- It's them.
- You bald idiot.
2163
01:19:31,922 --> 01:19:33,155
You wore the jacket.
2164
01:19:33,222 --> 01:19:35,424
It's them.
2165
01:19:35,491 --> 01:19:37,894
She's put it all together.
We gotta get out of here.
2166
01:19:37,961 --> 01:19:39,029
Run!
2167
01:19:39,096 --> 01:19:40,864
My throat!
2168
01:19:44,667 --> 01:19:46,702
[laughs]
Suck it, Abdul!
2169
01:19:46,769 --> 01:19:47,803
- Yeah!
- Whoa!
2170
01:19:47,871 --> 01:19:49,072
[laughs]
2171
01:19:49,138 --> 01:19:50,439
- Hey, baby!
- [taser crackles]
2172
01:19:50,506 --> 01:19:52,241
[crowd gasps, murmurs]
2173
01:19:53,209 --> 01:19:54,377
- Sal!
- His throat!
2174
01:19:54,443 --> 01:19:57,613
- My beautiful boy.
- Buddy, buddy.
2175
01:19:57,680 --> 01:20:00,216
- Take 'em out back.
- Who are you?
2176
01:20:00,282 --> 01:20:01,651
I run this town.
2177
01:20:01,717 --> 01:20:04,754
Not the cartel.
Not the Yakuza.
2178
01:20:04,820 --> 01:20:05,889
Abdul.
2179
01:20:05,956 --> 01:20:07,924
You're evil.
And you, you're a monster.
2180
01:20:07,991 --> 01:20:10,726
You know, I'm gonna make you
forever my bitch!
2181
01:20:10,793 --> 01:20:12,528
[light dramatic music]
2182
01:20:14,965 --> 01:20:16,967
No!
2183
01:20:17,034 --> 01:20:19,201
[screams]
2184
01:20:22,039 --> 01:20:23,739
[Q] And this is where
our story should end.
2185
01:20:23,806 --> 01:20:25,942
I mean, we really screwed
the night up.
2186
01:20:26,009 --> 01:20:28,611
My sweet, sweet Sal was tased.
2187
01:20:28,678 --> 01:20:30,881
I'm saving him
like a real man, sure,
2188
01:20:30,947 --> 01:20:33,150
but Murr is screaming
like a little ferret.
2189
01:20:33,215 --> 01:20:34,583
Paula's good and pissed.
2190
01:20:34,650 --> 01:20:37,186
And Joe...
Wait, where is Joe?
2191
01:20:37,253 --> 01:20:39,422
- Hey, Paula.
- [feedback drones]
2192
01:20:39,488 --> 01:20:41,992
I mean, I came here
to party, right?
2193
01:20:42,059 --> 01:20:43,325
[cheering]
2194
01:20:43,392 --> 01:20:45,996
I got this, boys.
2195
01:20:46,063 --> 01:20:47,898
♪ Make money, money,
Make money, money ♪
2196
01:20:47,964 --> 01:20:50,067
♪ Make money, money,
Make money, money, hey ♪
2197
01:20:50,133 --> 01:20:52,035
♪ Take money, money,
Take money, money ♪
2198
01:20:52,102 --> 01:20:53,970
♪ Take money, money,
Take money, money, hey ♪
2199
01:20:54,037 --> 01:20:56,305
♪ Save money, money,
Save money, money, money ♪
2200
01:20:56,372 --> 01:20:58,507
♪ Save money, money,
save money, money, money ♪
2201
01:20:58,574 --> 01:21:00,509
♪ 401(k), 401(k) ♪
2202
01:21:00,576 --> 01:21:02,745
♪ 401(k), 401(k) ♪
2203
01:21:02,812 --> 01:21:03,779
DJ, flip it.
2204
01:21:03,846 --> 01:21:06,116
Paula, get your Abdul ass
up here.
2205
01:21:06,183 --> 01:21:07,951
["Forever Your Girl" plays]
2206
01:21:11,220 --> 01:21:13,456
- ♪ Hey, baby ♪
- Oh, oh!
2207
01:21:13,522 --> 01:21:16,392
- ♪ You gotta remember ♪
- I remember.
2208
01:21:16,459 --> 01:21:17,961
♪ I'm forever your girl ♪
2209
01:21:18,028 --> 01:21:20,496
- For how long?
- ♪ Baby, forever ♪
2210
01:21:20,563 --> 01:21:24,233
♪ And ever and ever,
You know I am ♪
2211
01:21:24,300 --> 01:21:25,634
Yeah, let's do it!
2212
01:21:25,701 --> 01:21:28,972
Give it up for Joe
and the Impractical Jokers.
2213
01:21:29,039 --> 01:21:30,239
They're in the house,
2214
01:21:30,306 --> 01:21:32,508
and they drove
the whole way here.
2215
01:21:34,276 --> 01:21:35,644
She forgives us!
2216
01:21:41,617 --> 01:21:43,586
♪ Baby, pick your head up ♪
2217
01:21:43,652 --> 01:21:45,122
Pick your head up.
Pick your head up.
2218
01:21:45,188 --> 01:21:49,492
♪ Come on
And look me in the face ♪
2219
01:21:49,558 --> 01:21:51,995
♪ 'Cause I can tell
That something ♪
2220
01:21:52,062 --> 01:21:54,131
- What?
- ♪ Is bringing you down ♪
2221
01:21:54,197 --> 01:21:56,432
Paula Abdul!
2222
01:21:56,499 --> 01:21:58,034
You did it!
2223
01:21:58,101 --> 01:22:01,138
♪ Baby, just remember,
I gave you my heart ♪
2224
01:22:01,204 --> 01:22:02,671
Tell me!
2225
01:22:02,738 --> 01:22:05,208
♪ Ain't no one
Gonna tear us apart ♪
2226
01:22:05,274 --> 01:22:07,643
- ♪ He can promise the moon ♪
- Hands in the air!
2227
01:22:07,710 --> 01:22:09,946
♪ And the stars above ♪
2228
01:22:10,013 --> 01:22:13,950
♪ Even if he promised me
The world ♪
2229
01:22:14,017 --> 01:22:15,085
[alarm blares]
2230
01:22:15,152 --> 01:22:18,021
[gentle acoustic strumming]
2231
01:22:20,756 --> 01:22:23,626
- Wow, I love Miami.
- [laughter]
2232
01:22:23,692 --> 01:22:25,561
What a night.
What a night!
2233
01:22:25,628 --> 01:22:27,130
- Yes!
- Unbelievable.
2234
01:22:27,197 --> 01:22:30,066
Man, I'm so glad I threatened
your lives with that 2x4.
2235
01:22:30,133 --> 01:22:31,201
[laughter]
2236
01:22:31,268 --> 01:22:33,136
- Fellas, I love you.
- Yeah.
2237
01:22:33,203 --> 01:22:34,204
You're my best friends.
2238
01:22:34,271 --> 01:22:35,872
Epic, epic night, guys.
2239
01:22:35,939 --> 01:22:39,809
Yeah, I don't say
this enough, but I... I...
2240
01:22:39,876 --> 01:22:42,078
Hey, Fatone, you mind
keeping it down back there?
2241
01:22:42,145 --> 01:22:44,547
- We're trying to have a moment.
- Sorry.
2242
01:22:44,613 --> 01:22:46,682
I thought
I had known everything
2243
01:22:46,749 --> 01:22:48,051
there was to know about us,
2244
01:22:48,118 --> 01:22:49,618
but I learned
a few things on this trip.
2245
01:22:49,685 --> 01:22:51,353
- Sal loves tigers.
- [laughs]
2246
01:22:51,420 --> 01:22:54,723
Yeah, Murr loves going to strip
clubs with his young nieces.
2247
01:22:54,790 --> 01:22:56,725
Q's parents love
softcore porn.
2248
01:22:56,792 --> 01:22:58,295
- No, no, they do not.
- They do.
2249
01:22:58,360 --> 01:22:59,963
- They do not. They do not.
- They do, they produce it.
2250
01:23:00,030 --> 01:23:01,764
I'll tell you
what the biggest thing, though,
2251
01:23:01,831 --> 01:23:03,399
that surprised me
was how good of a hype man
2252
01:23:03,465 --> 01:23:05,467
- Joe turned out to be after all.
- Right?
2253
01:23:05,534 --> 01:23:08,470
- Not bad, buddy.
- [mouths word]
2254
01:23:08,537 --> 01:23:10,974
I should talk to you boys
about something.
2255
01:23:11,041 --> 01:23:12,541
An offer came in.
2256
01:23:12,608 --> 01:23:14,376
Abdul wants me to go
full-time as her hype man.
2257
01:23:14,443 --> 01:23:16,545
World tour.
Unbelievable.
2258
01:23:16,612 --> 01:23:19,415
Seven-figure salary,
401(k), full benefits.
2259
01:23:19,481 --> 01:23:21,617
Everything.
2260
01:23:21,684 --> 01:23:24,653
You know, she even offered me
my own reality show.
2261
01:23:24,720 --> 01:23:27,356
"Believe the Hype:
The Joe Gatto Story."
2262
01:23:27,423 --> 01:23:29,425
I got a tricycle for McKayla.
2263
01:23:29,491 --> 01:23:30,659
Milana.
2264
01:23:30,726 --> 01:23:32,828
My own helicopter
they're flying in.
2265
01:23:34,097 --> 01:23:35,631
She's gonna get rid
of that tapeworm.
2266
01:23:35,698 --> 01:23:37,499
Oh, you've had that
for years.
2267
01:23:37,566 --> 01:23:38,869
Bye-bye, Charlie.
2268
01:23:38,935 --> 01:23:41,837
Everything I ever wanted
as a full-blown hype man
2269
01:23:41,905 --> 01:23:43,606
delivered on a silver platter.
2270
01:23:43,672 --> 01:23:45,175
Well, what did you say
to her?
2271
01:23:45,242 --> 01:23:47,676
[triumphant music]
2272
01:23:49,346 --> 01:23:50,881
- I said no.
- Oh, thank God!
2273
01:23:50,947 --> 01:23:52,249
I don't want to do it.
She said, "What are you doing?"
2274
01:23:52,315 --> 01:23:53,316
I said,
"I'm forever their boy."
2275
01:23:53,382 --> 01:23:55,051
I straight up told her no-no.
2276
01:23:55,118 --> 01:23:56,152
You know what?
2277
01:23:57,386 --> 01:23:59,155
It's time to go back
to Staten Island.
2278
01:23:59,222 --> 01:24:00,456
Yes, it is.
2279
01:24:00,522 --> 01:24:01,858
Let me just go gas up
Grandma Lucia.
2280
01:24:01,925 --> 01:24:03,626
- We'll hit the road.
- Hold on, fellas.
2281
01:24:03,692 --> 01:24:07,463
Abdul texted me tickets
to go on her private plane.
2282
01:24:07,529 --> 01:24:08,797
- Oh, all right.
- Oh!
2283
01:24:08,865 --> 01:24:10,466
- That's awesome.
- Wait, wait, wait.
2284
01:24:10,532 --> 01:24:12,869
She sent three tickets.
Come on!
2285
01:24:12,936 --> 01:24:14,503
- [laughter]
- Is she kidding me?
2286
01:24:14,570 --> 01:24:15,804
- And it goes on.
- This is on purpose, right?
2287
01:24:15,872 --> 01:24:17,908
- Does she watch the show?
- Oh, that's great.
2288
01:24:17,974 --> 01:24:19,376
Well, there's four of us.
That's an issue.
2289
01:24:19,441 --> 01:24:20,409
Well, then how
are we gonna decide
2290
01:24:20,476 --> 01:24:21,912
who gets to go on the plane?
2291
01:24:21,978 --> 01:24:23,746
- I think it's been decided.
- Yeah, pretty sure.
2292
01:24:23,812 --> 01:24:25,248
- What do you mean?
- [Joe] Did you not watch the movie?
2293
01:24:25,315 --> 01:24:27,117
- [Murr] That's for real, like...
- [Joe] Yes.
2294
01:24:27,183 --> 01:24:29,585
- [Sal] Yes, our show is real.
- [Murr] But that's for real?
2295
01:24:29,652 --> 01:24:31,420
[Sal] You think you have a shot
at a private?
2296
01:24:31,487 --> 01:24:33,189
Don't worry, we'll...
2297
01:24:33,256 --> 01:24:34,991
♪ The stars above ♪
2298
01:24:35,058 --> 01:24:40,796
♪ Even if he promised me
The world ♪
2299
01:24:40,864 --> 01:24:44,733
♪ Just remember
I'm forever your girl ♪
2300
01:24:45,768 --> 01:24:47,569
Is that it?
Is that the plane?
2301
01:24:47,636 --> 01:24:49,838
Oh, my God, guys.
We are living life.
2302
01:24:49,906 --> 01:24:51,774
- That's a jet.
- Yeah.
2303
01:24:51,840 --> 01:24:54,476
All right, all right.
2304
01:24:54,543 --> 01:24:56,146
So I really can't
fly in the jet?
2305
01:24:56,212 --> 01:24:57,981
Come on.
2306
01:24:58,048 --> 01:25:00,216
What about if I drive
Grandma Lucia home?
2307
01:25:00,283 --> 01:25:02,718
Grandma Lucia's already halfway
back to Staten Island, buddy.
2308
01:25:02,785 --> 01:25:05,288
We're in this.
You're on that.
2309
01:25:05,355 --> 01:25:07,790
[mellow rock music]
2310
01:25:10,026 --> 01:25:11,428
Oh, God.
2311
01:25:11,493 --> 01:25:13,529
See you in Staten Island.
2312
01:25:13,595 --> 01:25:15,432
- Welcome.
- Thank you.
2313
01:25:15,497 --> 01:25:17,067
Wait, on?
2314
01:25:26,675 --> 01:25:29,279
- All right, huh?
- Oh, yeah.
2315
01:25:29,346 --> 01:25:31,181
- Cheers.
- Cheers!
2316
01:25:31,247 --> 01:25:32,349
Yes!
2317
01:25:32,415 --> 01:25:34,683
Private plane, Abdul,
no Murray.
2318
01:25:34,750 --> 01:25:37,519
- This is crazy, man.
- Mmm.
2319
01:25:38,922 --> 01:25:40,991
How do you think he's doing?
2320
01:25:41,057 --> 01:25:42,725
[yelling]
2321
01:25:42,791 --> 01:25:44,394
[Wolfmother's
"Joker and the Thief" playing]
2322
01:25:44,461 --> 01:25:46,829
♪ I said the joker
Is a wanted man ♪
2323
01:25:46,896 --> 01:25:49,966
♪ He makes his way
All across the land ♪
2324
01:25:50,033 --> 01:25:52,936
♪ See him sifting
Through the sand ♪
2325
01:25:53,003 --> 01:25:54,837
♪ So I'll tell you
All the story ♪
2326
01:25:54,904 --> 01:25:57,273
♪ 'Bout the joker
And the thief in the night ♪
2327
01:26:02,644 --> 01:26:05,348
♪ He's always laughing
In the midst of power ♪
2328
01:26:05,415 --> 01:26:08,784
♪ Always living
In the final hour ♪
2329
01:26:08,852 --> 01:26:11,454
♪ There is always
Sweet in the sour ♪
2330
01:26:11,520 --> 01:26:15,959
♪ So we are not going home ♪
2331
01:26:16,792 --> 01:26:18,261
[Murr] Oh, God!
2332
01:26:19,095 --> 01:26:20,763
[yelling]
2333
01:26:20,829 --> 01:26:25,201
♪ Can you see the joker
Flying over ♪
2334
01:26:25,268 --> 01:26:26,870
[yells]
2335
01:26:26,936 --> 01:26:31,673
♪ As she's standing
In the field of clover ♪
2336
01:26:33,510 --> 01:26:36,312
♪ Watching out every day ♪
2337
01:26:36,379 --> 01:26:38,781
♪ I wonder what would happen
If he took her away ♪
2338
01:26:38,847 --> 01:26:40,549
♪ I'll tell you
All the story ♪
2339
01:26:40,616 --> 01:26:42,718
♪ 'Bout the joker
And the thief in the night ♪
2340
01:26:43,253 --> 01:26:45,621
[yelling]
2341
01:26:45,687 --> 01:26:48,824
[light dramatic music]
2342
01:26:48,891 --> 01:26:53,891
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
2343
01:30:03,186 --> 01:30:05,922
♪ Time's up, time's up,
Time's up, time's up ♪
2344
01:30:05,989 --> 01:30:07,423
♪ Time to knock this shit up ♪
2345
01:30:07,490 --> 01:30:10,526
♪ I'm a joker,
Impractically nuts ♪
2346
01:30:10,593 --> 01:30:14,163
♪ With my crew,
About to light this shit up ♪
2347
01:30:14,230 --> 01:30:16,966
♪ I'm a joker,
Impractically nuts ♪
2348
01:30:17,033 --> 01:30:18,935
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2349
01:30:19,002 --> 01:30:20,136
♪ Joker ♪
2350
01:30:20,203 --> 01:30:22,838
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2351
01:30:22,905 --> 01:30:24,240
♪ Joker ♪
2352
01:30:24,307 --> 01:30:26,409
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2353
01:30:26,476 --> 01:30:27,710
♪ Joker ♪
2354
01:30:27,776 --> 01:30:29,345
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2355
01:30:29,412 --> 01:30:31,714
♪ Joker,
We pull up in the Crown Vic ♪
2356
01:30:31,780 --> 01:30:33,349
♪ We 'bout to clown and shit ♪
2357
01:30:33,416 --> 01:30:35,285
♪ We ate some brownies
At the crib ♪
2358
01:30:35,351 --> 01:30:37,620
♪ We prank and trick,
Straight fooling ♪
2359
01:30:37,687 --> 01:30:39,689
♪ Me and my crew's
In this bitch ♪
2360
01:30:39,756 --> 01:30:42,392
♪ Just coolin',
Me and my dudes, ice pick ♪
2361
01:30:42,458 --> 01:30:44,394
♪ When you see us coming,
We stunting ♪
2362
01:30:44,460 --> 01:30:46,429
♪ Now run and tell that,
The boys ♪
2363
01:30:46,496 --> 01:30:48,665
♪ Are hunting, they gunning,
With nothing held back ♪
2364
01:30:48,731 --> 01:30:50,799
♪ You lose at this game,
You get punished ♪
2365
01:30:50,867 --> 01:30:52,468
♪ And that's a real fact ♪
2366
01:30:52,535 --> 01:30:53,936
♪ You planning on staying,
I'll be honest ♪
2367
01:30:54,003 --> 01:30:55,638
♪ We all... ♪
2368
01:30:55,705 --> 01:30:57,106
♪ Sal, Murr, Joe, Q ♪
2369
01:30:57,173 --> 01:30:58,775
♪ We all about the laughs ♪
[laughs]
2370
01:30:58,840 --> 01:31:00,842
♪ How you gon' react
When the joker's in the back ♪
2371
01:31:00,910 --> 01:31:03,946
♪ And he's all up in your ear,
Cyrano de Bergerac ♪
2372
01:31:04,013 --> 01:31:07,350
♪ So say what I say
This is impractical attack ♪
2373
01:31:07,417 --> 01:31:09,419
♪ Whoa, clock is ticking ♪
2374
01:31:09,485 --> 01:31:11,220
♪ You gon' fold
Or you gon' follow through ♪
2375
01:31:11,287 --> 01:31:14,357
♪ Time's up,
Decide what you gon' do ♪
2376
01:31:14,424 --> 01:31:16,159
♪ Clock is ticking,
You gon' fold ♪
2377
01:31:16,225 --> 01:31:17,760
♪ Or you gon' follow through ♪
2378
01:31:17,826 --> 01:31:20,196
♪ Time's up,
Decide what you gonna do ♪
2379
01:31:20,263 --> 01:31:22,198
♪ Call us comedy cowboys ♪
2380
01:31:22,265 --> 01:31:23,900
♪ We quick with the trigger ♪
2381
01:31:23,966 --> 01:31:26,235
♪ A gang of wisecrackers
Leaving you in stitches ♪
2382
01:31:26,302 --> 01:31:28,071
♪ When you see
These tricksters coming ♪
2383
01:31:28,137 --> 01:31:29,572
♪ You know
They up to something ♪
2384
01:31:29,639 --> 01:31:31,074
♪ Setting you up
To get you cornered ♪
2385
01:31:31,140 --> 01:31:32,542
♪ Execute without warning ♪
2386
01:31:32,608 --> 01:31:35,378
♪ You're the casualty
Of a jokester ♪
2387
01:31:35,445 --> 01:31:38,014
♪ The satirical Casanova ♪
2388
01:31:38,081 --> 01:31:42,085
♪ We swift with the wits,
Seven years still a hit ♪
2389
01:31:42,151 --> 01:31:43,886
♪ Did the movie,
Shit's legit ♪
2390
01:31:43,953 --> 01:31:45,788
- ♪ Impractical humorists ♪
- ♪ Impractical ♪
2391
01:31:45,855 --> 01:31:48,658
♪ Impractical because
I'm cold when I'm hot ♪
2392
01:31:48,725 --> 01:31:51,894
♪ I run a marathon
In flip-flops ♪
2393
01:31:51,961 --> 01:31:53,363
♪ Impractical ♪
2394
01:31:53,429 --> 01:31:55,565
♪ I'm the one
And then I'm not ♪
2395
01:31:55,631 --> 01:31:57,700
♪ I rose to the top
When I dropped ♪
2396
01:31:57,767 --> 01:32:00,970
♪ Time's up,
Time to knock this shit up ♪
2397
01:32:01,037 --> 01:32:04,307
♪ I'm a joker,
Impractically nuts ♪
2398
01:32:04,374 --> 01:32:07,243
♪ With my crew,
About to light this shit up ♪
2399
01:32:07,310 --> 01:32:10,213
♪ I'm a joker,
I'm practically nuts ♪
2400
01:32:10,279 --> 01:32:13,449
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2401
01:32:13,516 --> 01:32:15,017
♪ Joker ♪
2402
01:32:15,084 --> 01:32:16,919
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2403
01:32:16,986 --> 01:32:18,254
♪ Joker ♪
2404
01:32:18,321 --> 01:32:19,956
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2405
01:32:20,022 --> 01:32:21,157
♪ Joker ♪
2406
01:32:21,224 --> 01:32:22,959
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2407
01:32:23,025 --> 01:32:24,260
♪ Joker ♪
173788
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.