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1
00:00:06,001 --> 00:00:11,000
Subtitles by explosiveskull
2
00:00:16,899 --> 00:00:20,536
1994. Welcome to Staten Island,
3
00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:23,472
a great year
and a great place to grow up.
4
00:00:30,512 --> 00:00:33,414
That's Stacey, my hula girl.
5
00:00:33,481 --> 00:00:35,517
Oh, oh,
that's me in high school.
6
00:00:35,584 --> 00:00:37,052
Man, look at that hair.
7
00:00:37,119 --> 00:00:39,256
I look just like
Chandler Bing, right?
8
00:00:39,322 --> 00:00:40,957
Just go with it.
9
00:00:44,593 --> 00:00:46,262
Rooty-toot-toot!
10
00:00:46,329 --> 00:00:49,832
- Hey, Q.
- Hey!
11
00:00:49,899 --> 00:00:51,368
Hey, how's your sister doing?
12
00:00:51,432 --> 00:00:55,070
Wouldn't you like to know?
13
00:00:55,137 --> 00:00:57,207
I would. I really would.
14
00:01:04,445 --> 00:01:05,546
Dad.
15
00:01:05,614 --> 00:01:06,849
Can I have permission to go
16
00:01:06,917 --> 00:01:08,385
to the Paula Abdul concert,
please?
17
00:01:08,450 --> 00:01:09,817
- Go, Sal, go.
- I know the rules, Dad.
18
00:01:09,885 --> 00:01:11,819
I will check in,
I will beep you, I'll call.
19
00:01:11,888 --> 00:01:13,588
Okay, rule number one,
we love each other.
20
00:01:13,656 --> 00:01:14,957
Rule number two,
see rule number one.
21
00:01:15,025 --> 00:01:16,359
Please get out of the house
and go.
22
00:01:16,424 --> 00:01:18,493
Okay. People smoke marijuana.
23
00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:19,828
Do the weed. Take a shot.
24
00:01:19,896 --> 00:01:21,730
Just get out of the house.
Please, go.
25
00:01:21,796 --> 00:01:22,498
Just go!
26
00:01:23,933 --> 00:01:26,835
Oh, hey, Q!
I'll be right there.
27
00:01:42,218 --> 00:01:44,219
Hey, fellas.
28
00:01:46,655 --> 00:01:48,656
'Sup?
My best friend, Sal.
29
00:01:48,723 --> 00:01:51,793
And there's Q too.
Hey, guys.
30
00:02:00,236 --> 00:02:02,438
Oh-ho-ho!
31
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:04,941
Boys!
32
00:02:05,007 --> 00:02:06,409
- I have a question.
- Yeah?
33
00:02:06,474 --> 00:02:07,444
Are you forever my girl?
34
00:02:07,509 --> 00:02:08,377
Straight up. Now, tell me.
35
00:02:08,444 --> 00:02:09,711
- Whoo!
- Yeah!
36
00:02:09,777 --> 00:02:10,778
- That's right, watch it.
- Oh, come on, Joe.
37
00:02:10,846 --> 00:02:12,414
- Come on.
- Comin' in hot.
38
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,450
All right, watch that...
watch that leather back there.
39
00:02:14,515 --> 00:02:16,186
You're the worst.
40
00:02:21,457 --> 00:02:23,026
Hey, Abdul.
41
00:02:23,092 --> 00:02:24,560
Too bad
we don't have tickets.
42
00:02:24,626 --> 00:02:26,527
Tickets?
Tickets are for losers, dude.
43
00:02:26,594 --> 00:02:27,695
I got a plan.
44
00:02:33,668 --> 00:02:35,637
- Who gets the small?
- Hey!
45
00:02:35,704 --> 00:02:37,573
- Really?
- Yeah, why not?
46
00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:40,143
Hmm. Well, who's ready
to party tonight?
47
00:02:40,210 --> 00:02:41,610
What are you doing?
48
00:02:41,676 --> 00:02:43,045
- I'm being hype man.
- He hyped you right there.
49
00:02:43,112 --> 00:02:44,948
Joey's a great hype man,
and I know hype men.
50
00:02:45,014 --> 00:02:46,915
Yeah, throughout history,
there's been many a hype man.
51
00:02:46,983 --> 00:02:49,585
- Who?
- Thomas Edison had one.
52
00:02:49,651 --> 00:02:50,887
- Gandhi.
- Caesar.
53
00:02:50,954 --> 00:02:52,754
Okay, all right,
Caesar had a hype man.
54
00:02:52,820 --> 00:02:53,990
You guys should look it up.
55
00:02:54,057 --> 00:02:56,158
Who was Caesar's
hype man, then?
56
00:02:56,225 --> 00:02:57,159
Jeff.
57
00:02:57,227 --> 00:02:58,427
I'm done.
58
00:02:58,495 --> 00:02:59,461
I'm done with this.
I'm done...
59
00:02:59,527 --> 00:03:00,628
- Can we go?
- Yeah.
60
00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:12,509
- 'Scuse!
- On the left.
61
00:03:12,574 --> 00:03:14,176
- Excuse you. Excuse me.
- Up on the right.
62
00:03:14,243 --> 00:03:16,778
- You. Excuse you. Security.
- On the left.
63
00:03:16,844 --> 00:03:18,680
- Move.
- Move.
64
00:03:18,747 --> 00:03:20,615
- Security.
- Just watch it.
65
00:03:20,681 --> 00:03:21,850
Idiot.
66
00:03:21,918 --> 00:03:23,618
Hey, uh, who are you guys?
67
00:03:23,685 --> 00:03:26,288
Uh, high-level security.
68
00:03:50,513 --> 00:03:52,314
I'll allow it.
69
00:03:58,820 --> 00:04:00,522
What do we do now?
What do we do now?
70
00:04:00,588 --> 00:04:02,057
Whatever the hell we want.
71
00:04:03,625 --> 00:04:05,895
Move! Watch it.
Coming through.
72
00:04:07,197 --> 00:04:08,965
The arena is ours.
73
00:04:09,032 --> 00:04:10,933
Wait, who is this?
Where's Larry?
74
00:04:14,304 --> 00:04:16,637
Hit it!
75
00:04:19,707 --> 00:04:21,543
Green room, fellas.
76
00:04:21,610 --> 00:04:23,980
Everything is free.
77
00:04:27,682 --> 00:04:29,084
How great is this?
78
00:04:29,151 --> 00:04:31,819
Oh.
79
00:04:31,887 --> 00:04:33,122
Hey, say hello to my dad.
80
00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:34,891
Hey, Daddy.
81
00:04:34,957 --> 00:04:36,792
No, it's my dad.
I don't call him Daddy.
82
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,726
Oh.
I'm sorry.
83
00:04:38,793 --> 00:04:40,295
You're security?
84
00:04:40,362 --> 00:04:41,697
Yeah, just... Please.
85
00:04:41,762 --> 00:04:44,033
Look at that zoom.
I can see your pores.
86
00:04:46,201 --> 00:04:47,937
Yuck.
87
00:04:50,273 --> 00:04:52,175
- What are you doing?
- Oh, me? Hypin'.
88
00:04:52,242 --> 00:04:53,841
- Hypin' what?
- Eh, you know, the crudités.
89
00:04:53,909 --> 00:04:55,245
You're over here by yourself
shaking your head.
90
00:04:55,310 --> 00:04:57,613
I know, I'm just excited
for crudités, what?
91
00:04:57,678 --> 00:04:59,048
I was taping you
from across the room.
92
00:04:59,115 --> 00:05:00,449
You look like a doo-wop dad.
93
00:05:00,516 --> 00:05:01,682
Hold on one second.
94
00:05:01,750 --> 00:05:03,153
Yo, Bubba Gump,
95
00:05:03,218 --> 00:05:05,254
Want to leave some shrimp
for the rest of us?
96
00:05:05,321 --> 00:05:06,322
Oh, my...
97
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:07,755
- Oh, my God, sick reference!
- Classic.
98
00:05:07,822 --> 00:05:09,091
I just saw
Forrest Gump
this week.
99
00:05:09,158 --> 00:05:10,759
Guys, Paula Abdul, 12:00.
100
00:05:13,529 --> 00:05:15,197
Check out the banana patrol.
101
00:05:18,134 --> 00:05:19,468
Was she just checking me out?
102
00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:20,701
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah. Right at you.
103
00:05:20,769 --> 00:05:22,338
- She was.
- Oh, you see that, right?
104
00:05:22,404 --> 00:05:24,007
You should probably
get her number.
105
00:05:24,072 --> 00:05:25,108
No.
106
00:05:25,175 --> 00:05:26,509
Yeah, it'd be a shame
if you didn't.
107
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:27,543
You think she's into me
like that?
108
00:05:27,610 --> 00:05:28,776
- Yeah.
- You're right.
109
00:05:28,843 --> 00:05:30,312
I'm doin' it.
110
00:05:30,379 --> 00:05:31,713
I'm doin' it.
111
00:05:33,048 --> 00:05:35,951
- Down in flames.
- Roll tape.
112
00:05:36,019 --> 00:05:38,620
Such a doofus.
Look at him.
113
00:05:38,687 --> 00:05:39,956
You want my number?
114
00:05:40,023 --> 00:05:42,057
- No.
- Guys, guys.
115
00:05:42,125 --> 00:05:44,427
No, guys, it looks like he's
getting her number, I swear.
116
00:05:44,494 --> 00:05:48,298
I think he...
I think he got her number.
117
00:05:48,363 --> 00:05:50,132
Good call, fellas.
She was into me.
118
00:05:50,199 --> 00:05:51,733
But she didn't finish
the phone number in time.
119
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,002
She started to give you
her real number?
120
00:05:54,069 --> 00:05:55,271
This is a victory for us.
121
00:05:55,338 --> 00:05:57,372
- Great shit.
- I gotta be honest.
122
00:05:57,439 --> 00:05:58,675
I was breaking your shoes.
123
00:05:58,740 --> 00:05:59,942
I didn't think
you'd get her number.
124
00:06:00,009 --> 00:06:01,709
You just rose
to that challenge, okay?
125
00:06:01,776 --> 00:06:02,946
We told you to do something,
you did it.
126
00:06:03,012 --> 00:06:04,613
Okay, you didn't refuse.
You didn't lose.
127
00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:07,016
The ball bag on this guy.
128
00:06:07,083 --> 00:06:08,384
You ever seen a ball bag
like this?
129
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:09,918
I've never seen a ball bag
like that, no.
130
00:06:09,985 --> 00:06:11,353
I've seen his ball bag.
131
00:06:11,420 --> 00:06:13,788
It's 10 pounds of ball bag
in a 5-pound sack.
132
00:06:13,855 --> 00:06:16,792
This whole time, there's been
two footprints in the sand.
133
00:06:16,858 --> 00:06:18,961
It's when your ball bag's
been carrying us.
134
00:06:19,028 --> 00:06:22,398
You don't just talk the talk,
you walk the walk. Okay?
135
00:06:22,464 --> 00:06:24,434
Who knows
where great ideas come from?
136
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:26,735
A mixture of genius
and stupidity?
137
00:06:26,802 --> 00:06:29,038
A ball bag speech from Sal?
138
00:06:29,105 --> 00:06:30,673
I know it rarely happens,
139
00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:33,909
but that night,
scholars and historians agree
140
00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:36,144
the Impractical Jokers
were born.
141
00:06:36,211 --> 00:06:38,180
This is unbelievable, guys.
142
00:06:38,247 --> 00:06:40,250
Holy sh...
143
00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:41,750
The crowd.
144
00:06:45,954 --> 00:06:47,523
Oh, my God!
145
00:06:56,831 --> 00:06:58,067
You know I am.
146
00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:04,507
Backstage, baby!
147
00:07:16,952 --> 00:07:18,987
That was the hottest thing
I've ever seen!
148
00:07:25,295 --> 00:07:26,562
Where's Joe?
149
00:07:30,266 --> 00:07:32,601
- Oh, my God!
- Yeah! Yeah!
150
00:07:35,004 --> 00:07:36,639
Get off my stage.
151
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:38,106
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Go, Joey, go!
152
00:07:38,173 --> 00:07:39,675
Yeah! We're gonna live forever!
153
00:07:39,742 --> 00:07:40,976
I know!
154
00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:43,112
Pregnant ladies,
I can't hear y'all.
155
00:07:43,178 --> 00:07:45,348
Pregnant ladies, make noise.
156
00:07:47,917 --> 00:07:50,586
Helicopter.
157
00:07:50,653 --> 00:07:52,555
When I say ball, you say bag.
158
00:07:52,622 --> 00:07:53,990
Ball!
159
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,457
He's hyped up
on the ball bag.
160
00:07:57,125 --> 00:07:58,860
Get him off the stage.
161
00:07:58,927 --> 00:07:59,995
Hype it up.
162
00:08:00,062 --> 00:08:02,398
We judged too soon.
He sucks.
163
00:08:05,033 --> 00:08:07,269
White people!
164
00:08:07,336 --> 00:08:08,471
Blacks!
165
00:08:10,038 --> 00:08:12,442
Where the Vietnamese at?
166
00:08:12,507 --> 00:08:14,744
- Yeah, there's one!
- Where's my security?
167
00:08:17,146 --> 00:08:19,182
This is mayhem.
168
00:08:19,247 --> 00:08:20,550
Ah! Son of a...
169
00:08:20,615 --> 00:08:22,451
- All right!
- They throwin' garbage?
170
00:08:22,518 --> 00:08:24,252
Staten Island garbage.
171
00:08:24,319 --> 00:08:26,288
- Guys! Guys!
- Look out, Joe!
172
00:08:26,355 --> 00:08:27,856
Breach! Breach!
Breach!
173
00:08:27,923 --> 00:08:29,358
Ah, these punks
are storming the stage.
174
00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:30,593
I'm getting the hell
out of here.
175
00:08:30,660 --> 00:08:31,860
No, no, no, no!
176
00:08:35,597 --> 00:08:37,299
Oh!
177
00:08:39,201 --> 00:08:40,736
I got clotheslined by Abdul.
178
00:08:40,802 --> 00:08:42,270
Oh, Sal!
179
00:08:44,039 --> 00:08:45,607
My beautiful boy.
180
00:08:45,674 --> 00:08:47,643
She crushed my windpipe!
181
00:08:47,710 --> 00:08:48,878
You're okay.
Go, go!
182
00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:50,645
- Joey!
- Go.
183
00:08:50,712 --> 00:08:52,181
You guys are dead.
184
00:08:52,248 --> 00:08:53,548
Dead.
185
00:08:53,615 --> 00:08:56,918
One day, I'm gonna find you,
and I will destroy you!
186
00:09:01,591 --> 00:09:03,592
Can't believe we ruined
the Abdul concert.
187
00:09:05,094 --> 00:09:07,663
- Hi, Gina.
- Go, go, go.
188
00:09:07,730 --> 00:09:11,400
We've lost the arena!
We've lost the arena!
189
00:09:11,466 --> 00:09:14,836
Everything's fine.
Everything's fine.
190
00:09:19,542 --> 00:09:23,779
Abdul assaulted me!
She's about 4'4", 40 pounds.
191
00:09:26,048 --> 00:09:28,518
Ah! Why are you doing
this to me?
192
00:09:28,583 --> 00:09:31,254
Come on!
Abdul's got some mouth on her.
193
00:09:52,475 --> 00:09:54,576
-
Are we rolling?
-
Okay, here we go.
194
00:09:54,644 --> 00:09:56,412
Once we clear this
camera, Sal, we're ready to go.
195
00:09:56,479 --> 00:09:57,813
It's only... Our close-up
keeps getting blocked.
196
00:09:57,880 --> 00:10:00,416
Cameras. Cameras.
197
00:10:00,482 --> 00:10:02,118
We have to make sure
camera D stays that way.
198
00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:03,552
Hold on, I got two...
I got three... In the ear,
199
00:10:03,619 --> 00:10:05,120
I had multiple people
at one time.
200
00:10:05,187 --> 00:10:07,222
Now he's clear.
201
00:10:07,289 --> 00:10:09,392
-
So, Sal's just gonna be a horrible mall Santa.
-
That's right.
202
00:10:09,458 --> 00:10:12,394
There's nothing more American
than a mall Santa.
203
00:10:12,461 --> 00:10:14,029
- That's right.
- Right? It's just classic.
204
00:10:14,096 --> 00:10:15,664
- Yeah.
- Well, in the winter.
205
00:10:15,730 --> 00:10:18,234
I will say this, Sal,
you have accepted the fact
206
00:10:18,301 --> 00:10:20,001
that we dressed you
as a mall Santa
207
00:10:20,068 --> 00:10:21,871
in the middle of summer
without complaint.
208
00:10:21,938 --> 00:10:24,240
It's about 100 degrees out.
209
00:10:24,307 --> 00:10:26,008
Oh, I'm gonna...
I'm gonna pass out.
210
00:10:26,075 --> 00:10:27,743
Well, you're about to
ruin Christmas
211
00:10:27,809 --> 00:10:29,511
for a bunch of kids, Sal.
212
00:10:29,578 --> 00:10:31,346
Okay, Sal, when this kid
approaches, this is easy,
213
00:10:31,413 --> 00:10:33,682
just yell, "No! No!"
214
00:10:33,749 --> 00:10:35,183
No! No!
215
00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:37,855
No.
216
00:10:37,921 --> 00:10:39,187
So what do you want, Aiden?
217
00:10:39,254 --> 00:10:40,722
Do you want a big toy
or a little toy?
218
00:10:40,789 --> 00:10:42,991
What would you like?
I'll get it for you right now.
219
00:10:43,058 --> 00:10:45,995
Lightning McQueen.
220
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,163
- Sal, fall asleep.
- Fall asleep, Sal.
221
00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:48,597
Fall asleep, fall asleep.
222
00:10:52,134 --> 00:10:53,668
Santa?
223
00:10:53,735 --> 00:10:55,837
Sal's sleeping. Look at him.
224
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,240
Look at the kid.
225
00:10:57,306 --> 00:10:59,741
- Sal fell asleep.
- The shot's insane, Sal.
226
00:11:01,076 --> 00:11:05,347
Sal, stay there.
227
00:11:05,413 --> 00:11:07,216
Head's... Head nod down
there more.
228
00:11:07,283 --> 00:11:08,451
There you go.
229
00:11:08,518 --> 00:11:11,287
Big snores. Big...
230
00:11:11,354 --> 00:11:13,322
Ooh!
231
00:11:13,389 --> 00:11:15,390
-
Start bouncing him.
- Oh.
232
00:11:15,457 --> 00:11:17,225
-
"When'd you get here?"
-
Higher, buddy, higher.
233
00:11:17,293 --> 00:11:18,895
Yeah!
234
00:11:21,563 --> 00:11:24,033
Oh, taking his leg off!
He's taking his leg off!
235
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,801
He's so happy.
236
00:11:33,408 --> 00:11:35,411
Look at the...
237
00:11:36,479 --> 00:11:37,712
High five!
238
00:11:37,779 --> 00:11:39,181
Aww.
239
00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:42,618
This fake snow
can't be helping.
240
00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:46,154
Hello, darling. How are you?
241
00:11:46,221 --> 00:11:49,292
Come sit on Santa's lap.
242
00:11:49,357 --> 00:11:51,394
- And what is your name?
- Casey.
243
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:53,763
Casey, I want you
to take a minute
244
00:11:53,828 --> 00:11:56,966
and think about what you might
want for Christmas this year.
245
00:11:57,033 --> 00:11:58,334
Just think about it
in your head.
246
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,168
- Okay?
- Uh...
247
00:12:01,370 --> 00:12:02,672
"Don't talk to me
till I tell you."
248
00:12:02,738 --> 00:12:05,140
Now, don't talk
until I tell you, Casey.
249
00:12:05,206 --> 00:12:06,642
- Mmm-hmm.
- Okay.
250
00:12:08,677 --> 00:12:13,716
"Now, why aren't you saying anything to Santa?"
251
00:12:13,783 --> 00:12:15,851
I don't have all day, Casey.
Do you know what you want?
252
00:12:15,918 --> 00:12:17,119
- Yes.
- Okay.
253
00:12:17,186 --> 00:12:18,889
Don't speak
until I tell you, now.
254
00:12:18,956 --> 00:12:20,423
She's so cute.
255
00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:21,756
Whenever you're ready,
just tell me what you want.
256
00:12:21,823 --> 00:12:22,926
Keep flip-flopping.
257
00:12:22,993 --> 00:12:23,826
But don't talk
until I tell you.
258
00:12:25,494 --> 00:12:27,129
Okay? So whenever you're ready,
you tell me what you want.
259
00:12:27,196 --> 00:12:30,131
But please don't speak
until I tell you.
260
00:12:30,198 --> 00:12:31,433
- Whenever you're ready.
- Okay.
261
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:33,302
Just don't speak until I say.
262
00:12:35,938 --> 00:12:37,206
Nice to meet you...
263
00:12:37,273 --> 00:12:38,506
So, Sal, how was that?
You're doing...
264
00:12:38,573 --> 00:12:39,909
You're being a very good
horrible Santa.
265
00:12:39,976 --> 00:12:42,544
Guys, this...
It's torture for us all.
266
00:12:42,611 --> 00:12:44,447
It's a torture for me,
it's a torture for you,
267
00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:46,115
it's a torture
for the children.
268
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:47,850
- I'm having a blast back here.
- Yeah.
269
00:12:47,918 --> 00:12:49,751
I'm giggling with my friends.
It feels pretty good back here.
270
00:12:49,818 --> 00:12:52,254
There's no less than 40
strands of hair in my mouth.
271
00:12:52,321 --> 00:12:53,788
Oh, it's getting
worse, Sal.
272
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:57,726
Oh!
273
00:13:06,003 --> 00:13:09,304
Jingle, jingle.
274
00:13:10,941 --> 00:13:12,240
- Oh.
- I've had enough.
275
00:13:12,307 --> 00:13:13,174
I'm pulling the plug
on this whole thing.
276
00:13:13,241 --> 00:13:14,442
Let's get out of here.
277
00:13:14,509 --> 00:13:16,879
-
That's a cut.
-
Nice work.
278
00:13:35,463 --> 00:13:36,966
Where's the
Cheddar Bay Biscuits?
279
00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:38,500
I ordered a whole another
basket, like, ten minutes ago.
280
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:40,070
- You already had six.
- So what?
281
00:13:40,136 --> 00:13:41,836
- You're cut off.
- You can't be cut off.
282
00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:43,706
It's unlimited, it's the
whole point of Red Lobster.
283
00:13:43,773 --> 00:13:45,173
Guys. Guys.
284
00:13:46,307 --> 00:13:48,979
- Is that Abdul?
- Kareem?
285
00:13:49,046 --> 00:13:50,645
No. Can't be.
286
00:13:50,712 --> 00:13:52,782
- That's Abdul. That's her.
- That's her.
287
00:13:52,847 --> 00:13:54,683
- Oh, my God.
- It is Abdul.
288
00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:57,019
I know Abdul when I see it.
It's her! I'm scared right now.
289
00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:59,355
My windpipe is still sore
from when she hit me.
290
00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:00,589
Yeah, she straight jacked you.
291
00:14:00,655 --> 00:14:02,158
She's gonna remember
that night.
292
00:14:02,224 --> 00:14:03,426
Oh, she's coming over here,
so it's curtains for us,
293
00:14:03,491 --> 00:14:04,726
essentially, it's what it is.
294
00:14:04,793 --> 00:14:06,595
- I gotta get out of here.
- No, no! Sit...
295
00:14:06,662 --> 00:14:07,395
Sit down.
296
00:14:07,462 --> 00:14:08,798
This is our Red Lobster.
297
00:14:08,865 --> 00:14:10,331
I've been training for this
for 20 years.
298
00:14:10,399 --> 00:14:12,600
Nobody touches you again.
Not on my watch.
299
00:14:12,668 --> 00:14:14,104
- Okay, thank you.
- No, yeah.
300
00:14:14,171 --> 00:14:15,638
- Just sit down.
- She's coming right over here.
301
00:14:15,705 --> 00:14:17,239
- Act casual.
- She's looking right at us.
302
00:14:17,306 --> 00:14:18,340
- Act casual.
- She's looking...
303
00:14:18,407 --> 00:14:20,208
Smile. Act natural.
304
00:14:20,275 --> 00:14:21,677
Smile. Smile.
305
00:14:23,278 --> 00:14:24,547
All right.
306
00:14:27,850 --> 00:14:29,250
Fifteen feet.
307
00:14:29,317 --> 00:14:30,820
Ten feet.
308
00:14:30,886 --> 00:14:31,988
Five feet.
309
00:14:32,054 --> 00:14:33,056
Abdul.
310
00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:34,423
You're the Impractical Jokers.
311
00:14:34,490 --> 00:14:36,392
- Yeah.
- For real?
312
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:38,427
- Yeah.
- Holy shit.
313
00:14:38,494 --> 00:14:41,363
- Okay.
- I love you guys.
314
00:14:41,429 --> 00:14:44,232
Oh, no joke, man.
I've watched every season.
315
00:14:44,299 --> 00:14:46,434
Well, except for season five.
316
00:14:46,501 --> 00:14:47,536
Yeah, I don't want
to get into it.
317
00:14:47,602 --> 00:14:49,072
All right, well, thank you.
318
00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:51,407
By any chance, you guys
gonna be in Miami next week?
319
00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:53,375
- Yeah.
- I'm having this huge party.
320
00:14:53,442 --> 00:14:55,311
You guys can come.
You can hang one night.
321
00:14:55,376 --> 00:14:57,047
You can hang the weekend.
Go hang out.
322
00:14:57,114 --> 00:14:58,346
- Oh, my God.
- What?
323
00:14:58,413 --> 00:14:59,715
You kidding me?
324
00:14:59,782 --> 00:15:01,183
Yeah, we'll be there.
We were gonna go...
325
00:15:01,250 --> 00:15:02,618
- We were going anyway.
- Yeah! Yeah!
326
00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:04,320
Yes!
327
00:15:04,385 --> 00:15:06,755
Sam? Hook 'em up.
328
00:15:10,458 --> 00:15:13,495
- Season five was atrocious.
- Mmm.
329
00:15:13,562 --> 00:15:15,331
So I'll see you in Miami?
330
00:15:15,397 --> 00:15:16,331
Yes!
Yeah, I'll see you there.
331
00:15:16,398 --> 00:15:17,933
This is crazy.
332
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,534
Yeah, that's right.
We are so in Miami.
333
00:15:19,601 --> 00:15:20,971
- We'll see you there.
- All right.
334
00:15:21,037 --> 00:15:23,304
- Miami, here we come.
- All right.
335
00:15:23,371 --> 00:15:24,673
We're not really going
to Miami, are we?
336
00:15:24,740 --> 00:15:25,841
- Of course we're going to Miami.
- No.
337
00:15:25,908 --> 00:15:27,475
That night
was a disaster. Okay?
338
00:15:27,543 --> 00:15:29,611
We have a chance here
for a do-over.
339
00:15:29,677 --> 00:15:32,514
I don't need a do-over.
I'm the victim, okay?
340
00:15:32,581 --> 00:15:33,950
She punched me in the throat.
341
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:35,817
Guys, this isn't even
a discussion, okay?
342
00:15:35,885 --> 00:15:38,486
Abdul is here in the Lobster,
she invites us to the party,
343
00:15:38,553 --> 00:15:40,056
we go to the party.
344
00:15:40,123 --> 00:15:42,323
We turn back the clock.
We put that disaster to bed.
345
00:15:42,390 --> 00:15:43,860
Oh, yeah.
We're going, and this time,
346
00:15:43,927 --> 00:15:45,961
we're gonna prove that
we're not gonna screw it up.
347
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:47,963
That's right.
With a little bit of hype.
348
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,532
- Mmm.
- No hype.
349
00:15:49,597 --> 00:15:51,201
- A little bit.
- Mmm. No.
350
00:15:51,268 --> 00:15:52,467
All right,
the appropriate amount.
351
00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:53,937
Hmm, no. Less.
352
00:15:54,004 --> 00:15:56,038
Do this. That.
353
00:15:56,105 --> 00:15:58,307
Oh, I'm bringing this much,
and if we use it, we use it.
354
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,408
Oh, my God, there's only three.
355
00:16:00,475 --> 00:16:01,677
There's only three laminates.
356
00:16:01,744 --> 00:16:03,445
Perfect. I'm out. God's plan.
357
00:16:03,511 --> 00:16:04,914
No, no, no.
What are you talking about?
358
00:16:04,980 --> 00:16:07,349
We'll settle this the way
we do every big decision
359
00:16:07,416 --> 00:16:08,985
in our life, okay?
360
00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:10,619
The four of us will compete
in hidden camera challenges
361
00:16:10,686 --> 00:16:12,022
on the way down to Miami,
362
00:16:12,087 --> 00:16:14,490
and the loser does not
go to that party.
363
00:16:17,592 --> 00:16:19,129
- Road trip, guys!
- Let's do it.
364
00:16:19,196 --> 00:16:20,328
Let's just get in the car
and do it.
365
00:16:20,395 --> 00:16:21,563
- Road trip, baby.
- Yeah!
366
00:16:21,629 --> 00:16:23,232
Guys, I have the perfect car.
367
00:16:23,299 --> 00:16:25,034
- You guys are gonna love this.
- Oh, thank God, yes.
368
00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:27,702
Every part of my body
is rejecting this plan.
369
00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:28,837
Who pays the bill, by the way?
370
00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:31,207
I pay the bill? I pay the bill?
371
00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:43,619
Huh?
372
00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:46,088
- Shotgun.
- What? No!
373
00:16:46,155 --> 00:16:47,690
Yeah, I saw it, and I said it.
374
00:16:47,755 --> 00:16:49,024
- That's not even right.
- Yeah, that's the rule.
375
00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:50,426
I get carsick.
I can't sit back there.
376
00:16:50,491 --> 00:16:51,693
Your carsick is not my problem.
377
00:16:51,759 --> 00:16:52,962
- No.
- Will you guys...
378
00:16:53,028 --> 00:16:54,063
Please, please,
can you veto this?
379
00:16:54,129 --> 00:16:55,164
I will vomit everywhere.
380
00:16:55,231 --> 00:16:56,398
Veto it? Why would I veto that?
381
00:16:56,465 --> 00:16:57,832
It's the rules of shotgun.
382
00:16:57,900 --> 00:16:59,534
You see the car, you say,
"Shotgun," you sit there.
383
00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:01,370
Joe gets shotgun
'cause he respects the leather.
384
00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:02,538
- Thank you, sir.
- Hey, what...
385
00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:04,106
Whatever gave you
the impression
386
00:17:04,173 --> 00:17:05,807
- I didn't respect it?
- You scuffed the leather, man.
387
00:17:05,875 --> 00:17:08,644
That's like punching
Grandma Lucia in her face.
388
00:17:08,711 --> 00:17:10,113
She killed herself
in the back left seat, right?
389
00:17:10,180 --> 00:17:12,513
Why don't we all get off
our high horses here?
390
00:17:12,580 --> 00:17:13,781
All right, it's not
that great of a car.
391
00:17:13,848 --> 00:17:15,517
- It's not a Corvette.
- No, I know.
392
00:17:15,584 --> 00:17:17,119
It's a Crown Vic.
I know what this car is.
393
00:17:17,186 --> 00:17:18,954
I mean, it's the vehicular
equivalent of Baltic Avenue.
394
00:17:19,021 --> 00:17:20,056
Baltic Avenue?
395
00:17:20,123 --> 00:17:21,656
What are you,
going Monopoly on me?
396
00:17:21,723 --> 00:17:23,692
You're the thimble.
Yeah, and do not pass go.
397
00:17:23,759 --> 00:17:25,760
You go directly
to the back seat, buddy.
398
00:17:25,827 --> 00:17:27,829
I feel like
I'm being sandbagged.
399
00:17:27,897 --> 00:17:29,698
Question, should I take
a quick shit here or should I...
400
00:17:29,765 --> 00:17:31,634
- Would you guys just get in the car already?
- Okay.
401
00:17:38,406 --> 00:17:40,409
- The trip it is.
- Whoo-hoo!
402
00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,011
- Yeah!
- Oh, you know what?
403
00:17:44,079 --> 00:17:46,048
- Ho!
- Oh!
404
00:17:46,115 --> 00:17:47,715
Stacy!
405
00:17:47,782 --> 00:17:49,617
Yo, baby, all right.
406
00:17:49,684 --> 00:17:51,288
- Now we're ready.
- Now we're ready.
407
00:17:51,354 --> 00:17:53,189
- Let's do this.
- Let's go!
408
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:27,057
Oh, son!
409
00:18:27,123 --> 00:18:28,624
- If they have a...
- I think I have one.
410
00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:30,093
- What's up, bro?
- Welcome.
411
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:32,461
- Grizzly Adams.
- Oh, we should play Megaballs.
412
00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:34,364
- Who?
- Oh, you got that Megaballs?
413
00:18:34,431 --> 00:18:35,898
What?
414
00:18:35,965 --> 00:18:38,233
Talk to me about your
collection of jazz, smooth.
415
00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:40,069
I don't know, man,
there's, like, two aisles.
416
00:18:40,135 --> 00:18:42,538
- Which one?
- Dude, I just work here.
417
00:18:42,604 --> 00:18:43,973
That's why I'm asking you.
418
00:18:45,275 --> 00:18:46,910
- Oh.
- Ooh.
419
00:18:49,611 --> 00:18:51,114
- Let me ask you guys something.
- Hmm?
420
00:18:51,181 --> 00:18:52,949
You guys ever wonder
what Murray gets up to
421
00:18:53,016 --> 00:18:55,018
- when we're not with him?
- I would love to know.
422
00:18:55,085 --> 00:18:56,551
We've been friends with him
my whole life.
423
00:18:56,617 --> 00:18:58,221
I go to sleep
wondering what he does.
424
00:18:58,288 --> 00:19:00,155
- Hmm.
- I got ideas.
425
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:01,290
- Yeah?
- Tell me.
426
00:19:01,357 --> 00:19:02,624
- He traveled a lot.
- Yeah.
427
00:19:02,691 --> 00:19:04,526
That time he went
on that tour with Yanni
428
00:19:04,593 --> 00:19:06,162
in South America.
429
00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:07,762
The Rainbows to Rainforest
Tour, I remember that.
430
00:19:07,829 --> 00:19:09,365
Yeah, but he kept
using air quotes with that.
431
00:19:09,432 --> 00:19:10,732
- He did that with you?
- Yeah,
432
00:19:10,798 --> 00:19:13,103
like, "If you need me,
I'll be with Yanni
433
00:19:13,169 --> 00:19:14,436
in South America."
434
00:19:14,536 --> 00:19:15,837
Now, what does that mean?
435
00:19:15,904 --> 00:19:18,040
Every part of that sentence
is a fallacy?
436
00:19:19,442 --> 00:19:20,608
"I-I'll be unavailable."
437
00:19:20,675 --> 00:19:21,911
- Whoa.
- What is that?
438
00:19:21,978 --> 00:19:23,480
It's air quotes.
We're all doing it.
439
00:19:23,545 --> 00:19:24,948
- No, no, no. What's that?
- Unavailable. It's air quotes.
440
00:19:25,015 --> 00:19:26,449
You're not calling
four people over,
441
00:19:26,515 --> 00:19:27,516
you gotta flip that
and reverse it.
442
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:28,750
Oh, all right, Missy Elliott.
443
00:19:28,817 --> 00:19:30,053
- I wasn't sure. Got it.
- Fellas?
444
00:19:30,119 --> 00:19:31,519
- Yo?
- Got it.
445
00:19:33,555 --> 00:19:35,959
Right? For the road.
For the road?
446
00:19:36,026 --> 00:19:37,027
Right?
447
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:39,761
I don't need him.
448
00:19:53,642 --> 00:19:55,177
DC, baby.
449
00:19:57,846 --> 00:19:59,315
So today,
we're stopping people
450
00:19:59,382 --> 00:20:00,782
and telling them
we gotta speak at a memorial.
451
00:20:00,848 --> 00:20:02,651
The only thing is that
we've written...
452
00:20:02,718 --> 00:20:04,186
- Each other's.
- Each other's eulogies.
453
00:20:04,253 --> 00:20:05,686
So, at the end,
we'll have to ask them,
454
00:20:05,753 --> 00:20:07,190
"Do you think it's fit to say?"
455
00:20:07,257 --> 00:20:10,192
And if they say no, we lose.
If they say yes, we win.
456
00:20:10,259 --> 00:20:12,061
It's a sad day.
457
00:20:13,529 --> 00:20:16,900
This just shows you
how fleeting life is, guys.
458
00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:18,101
How about this old guy?
459
00:20:19,035 --> 00:20:20,635
You got the right idea.
460
00:20:20,701 --> 00:20:22,538
- Ooh, too many steps.
- Can't handle it.
461
00:20:22,604 --> 00:20:24,074
You just, you guys
are in town just visiting
462
00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:25,773
- for the tours, the sights?
- Yeah.
463
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:27,210
Look at the urn.
464
00:20:27,277 --> 00:20:28,912
I'm in town, unfortunately,
for sad reasons.
465
00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:30,711
- Got a, um...
- Bucket of ashes right here.
466
00:20:30,778 --> 00:20:32,248
- I'm giving the eulogy.
- Oh.
467
00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:33,749
Yeah, at a funeral.
468
00:20:33,816 --> 00:20:35,717
He got a great mark.
This guy's so into the idea.
469
00:20:35,784 --> 00:20:38,121
We're doing the thing by the water
and spreading the ashes, you know.
470
00:20:38,188 --> 00:20:39,521
Oh, yeah.
471
00:20:39,587 --> 00:20:41,356
.,
00:20:43,026
Is that why people come
to the reflection pool, though?
473
00:20:43,093 --> 00:20:44,726
I'm pretty sure you're not
allowed to even do that.
474
00:20:44,792 --> 00:20:45,961
Can I run the eulogy by you?
It takes one second.
475
00:20:46,028 --> 00:20:47,163
It's only
a couple sentences long.
476
00:20:47,230 --> 00:20:49,332
You're very brave
for doing that.
477
00:20:49,398 --> 00:20:50,699
Here's the eulogy I wrote.
478
00:20:50,766 --> 00:20:52,501
"Grandma."
479
00:20:52,568 --> 00:20:53,801
"Grandma was...
480
00:20:53,869 --> 00:20:55,703
Grandma was
a straight up bitch."
481
00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:59,875
"You know it, Grandpa.
We all know it.
482
00:20:59,942 --> 00:21:01,144
And now she's dead
483
00:21:01,211 --> 00:21:03,046
and we've got
her goddamn money.
484
00:21:03,113 --> 00:21:04,813
Let's go to China Buffet
to celebrate
485
00:21:04,881 --> 00:21:06,449
this bitch's
one-way ticket to hell."
486
00:21:06,516 --> 00:21:07,749
Wow.
487
00:21:07,816 --> 00:21:08,951
What do you think?
Is it ready to go?
488
00:21:10,553 --> 00:21:12,955
I don't know what other
people would think about that.
489
00:21:13,021 --> 00:21:14,523
We all felt this way
about Grandma.
490
00:21:14,590 --> 00:21:15,557
- Oh.
- We all did.
491
00:21:15,624 --> 00:21:17,259
Including Grandpa.
492
00:21:17,326 --> 00:21:18,560
So you think I should just read
this or should I change it?
493
00:21:18,626 --> 00:21:19,996
I don't... I wouldn't.
494
00:21:20,063 --> 00:21:21,263
- You wouldn't read it?
- No.
495
00:21:21,330 --> 00:21:23,566
Oh!
496
00:21:23,632 --> 00:21:24,567
I'm not good
with public speaking.
497
00:21:24,633 --> 00:21:25,733
Forget the urn. Walk away.
498
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:27,103
All right.
Well, take care, sir.
499
00:21:27,170 --> 00:21:28,836
- Have a great vacation. Enjoy.
- Yeah.
500
00:21:28,904 --> 00:21:30,507
- Take care, now.
- You bet.
501
00:21:30,573 --> 00:21:31,574
What do you want with this?
502
00:21:34,477 --> 00:21:35,810
Sir?
503
00:21:46,522 --> 00:21:48,157
Guys, can I ask you a question?
504
00:21:48,223 --> 00:21:49,259
Here we go.
505
00:21:49,325 --> 00:21:50,894
It's just a few words.
I'm very nervous.
506
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,561
Can I read it to you
just to say it out loud
507
00:21:52,628 --> 00:21:54,096
- and tell me if you like it?
- Sure.
508
00:21:54,163 --> 00:21:55,730
I'm so nervous.
The family's meeting me. Yeah.
509
00:21:55,797 --> 00:21:58,535
Okay, uh,
"Thank you all for coming
510
00:21:58,601 --> 00:22:01,871
to the spreading of the ashes
of Joey Dumps."
511
00:22:01,938 --> 00:22:03,205
- Joey Dumps.
- Joey Dumps.
512
00:22:03,272 --> 00:22:04,973
"What could be said
about Joey Dumps?
513
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:06,509
He took his lumps."
514
00:22:08,178 --> 00:22:09,546
"Joey Dumps was there for me.
515
00:22:09,612 --> 00:22:11,146
He let me see those dumps.
516
00:22:11,213 --> 00:22:13,048
Dumps-da-dumps-dumps-dumps."
517
00:22:13,115 --> 00:22:14,284
"When you were down
in the dumps,
518
00:22:14,349 --> 00:22:16,019
who was there for you...
Joey Dumps.
519
00:22:16,085 --> 00:22:17,487
Dumps like a truck,
truck, truck."
520
00:22:18,922 --> 00:22:20,923
"Guys like a what, what, what.
521
00:22:20,990 --> 00:22:24,661
So to honor his last wish,
we now dump Dumps' ashes,
522
00:22:24,726 --> 00:22:26,528
and then go listen
to the final episode
523
00:22:26,596 --> 00:22:28,364
of his baseball-themed
podcast,
524
00:22:28,431 --> 00:22:31,433
'Joey Dumps Humps Chump Umps
in the Rumps.'"
525
00:22:33,403 --> 00:22:35,939
- It's so Joey Dumps.
- It's very Joey Dumps.
526
00:22:36,005 --> 00:22:37,705
- Do you think it...
- It's very funny.
527
00:22:37,772 --> 00:22:39,875
- Should I change anything?
- No.
528
00:22:39,942 --> 00:22:41,443
- No? Ah.
- Oh!
529
00:22:41,510 --> 00:22:43,845
- It's a great memorial.
- Thank you very much.
530
00:22:43,913 --> 00:22:45,682
- I appreciate you guys.
- Thank you. Good luck.
531
00:22:45,747 --> 00:22:47,549
- Thank you.
- He was a big Sisqó fan.
532
00:22:47,616 --> 00:22:48,984
Wow. Ready to go.
533
00:22:49,051 --> 00:22:51,587
- Good job with that, Sal.
- Sal with a W.
534
00:22:51,653 --> 00:22:52,820
My eulogy game, I crush.
535
00:22:52,888 --> 00:22:54,022
I give a good eulogy.
536
00:22:57,393 --> 00:22:58,560
You guys ready?
537
00:22:58,627 --> 00:23:00,163
Yeah, the cameras
aren't on, but...
538
00:23:00,230 --> 00:23:01,297
How we doing?
Cameras aren't ready yet?
539
00:23:01,364 --> 00:23:02,932
Guys, the secret is to...
540
00:23:04,299 --> 00:23:07,537
pique interest,
pique the curiosity of people.
541
00:23:07,604 --> 00:23:09,605
Could you just hold this up,
and I'm just gonna...
542
00:23:09,672 --> 00:23:11,340
Yeah, just hold that up,
yeah, like that, it's perfect.
543
00:23:13,009 --> 00:23:14,876
They're holding ashes.
544
00:23:14,943 --> 00:23:16,179
There we go. That's great.
545
00:23:16,246 --> 00:23:17,778
- Yeah, I'm here for a memorial.
- Oh.
546
00:23:17,846 --> 00:23:21,017
So I'm about to give
a eulogy, um, about this.
547
00:23:21,084 --> 00:23:22,684
So I'm just getting prepared.
548
00:23:22,750 --> 00:23:24,386
You mind if I just say it out
loud to you guys real quick?
549
00:23:24,453 --> 00:23:26,489
- Sure. Go on.
- Yeah. Hold her. Thanks.
550
00:23:26,556 --> 00:23:27,656
Okay.
551
00:23:27,723 --> 00:23:28,691
Sometimes he makes it
look easy.
552
00:23:28,757 --> 00:23:30,791
"This that eulogy. You know.
553
00:23:30,859 --> 00:23:32,694
You know what it is,
gang, gang.
554
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:34,730
Devin died. He got got."
555
00:23:36,031 --> 00:23:37,467
"He got shot. He loved life.
556
00:23:37,532 --> 00:23:38,901
He loved wife, my wife.
557
00:23:38,968 --> 00:23:41,203
I shot that mother.
Eleven shots in the leg."
558
00:23:41,270 --> 00:23:42,904
- In the leg?
- "I ain't supposed to be here,
559
00:23:42,971 --> 00:23:44,740
but y'all know what?
Y'all can scratch.
560
00:23:44,806 --> 00:23:46,608
I came here
to see him put down
561
00:23:46,675 --> 00:23:47,710
- and piss on the grave."
- Oh!
562
00:23:49,778 --> 00:23:52,414
That's when I would take...
Expose myself and start peeing.
563
00:23:52,481 --> 00:23:54,150
- "Expose myself and..."
- And then remember
564
00:23:54,217 --> 00:23:56,085
to drink a lot of water prior,
as a note to myself.
565
00:23:56,152 --> 00:23:58,621
And then escape out
the southeast exit...
566
00:23:58,688 --> 00:24:00,022
- Escape.
- Of the cemetery.
567
00:24:00,088 --> 00:24:01,457
And it's a right on red.
568
00:24:02,659 --> 00:24:03,960
So that's how I would do that.
569
00:24:04,027 --> 00:24:05,862
- Way too extreme.
- Is it too extreme?
570
00:24:05,928 --> 00:24:08,397
Oh!
571
00:24:08,463 --> 00:24:09,632
Yes!
572
00:24:09,699 --> 00:24:11,099
I should probably just say
he was a good guy.
573
00:24:11,166 --> 00:24:12,602
Yeah, just probably...
Yeah, yeah.
574
00:24:12,669 --> 00:24:13,702
I think that's all.
That's why you're MC, yeah.
575
00:24:13,769 --> 00:24:14,836
So not good to go, then.
576
00:24:21,611 --> 00:24:24,012
Here goes Q. He looks good.
He's all cleaned up.
577
00:24:24,079 --> 00:24:25,414
- Q always looks good.
- Take a picture?
578
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:28,851
- Yeah, no problem.
- Here you go, Q, you're in.
579
00:24:28,917 --> 00:24:30,452
Got it. There you go.
Thank you.
580
00:24:30,519 --> 00:24:33,423
Thanks, I'm, uh, doing
a eulogy, actually.
581
00:24:33,489 --> 00:24:35,824
We're supposed to dump
the ashes in here,
582
00:24:35,892 --> 00:24:37,292
but it turns out
you're not allowed to.
583
00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:38,795
Do you mind if I run
the speech by you?
584
00:24:38,861 --> 00:24:40,797
'Cause I'm super nervous.
It's super short.
585
00:24:40,863 --> 00:24:42,964
"What to say
about Cousin Frieda?
586
00:24:43,965 --> 00:24:45,367
Sure, she had loose morals
587
00:24:45,434 --> 00:24:48,003
and a libido that wouldn't
quit, and that's..."
588
00:24:48,805 --> 00:24:49,872
- How old are you?
- 13.
589
00:24:49,939 --> 00:24:52,075
13? All right, cool.
590
00:24:52,141 --> 00:24:54,711
I'm good.
591
00:24:54,777 --> 00:24:57,046
That's it. You're out.
592
00:24:57,113 --> 00:25:00,249
It's all about how she died
'cause of STDs.
593
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:13,296
- Gettin' up.
- Ready to go.
594
00:25:24,574 --> 00:25:26,909
- Can you guys humor me?
- Always.
595
00:25:28,144 --> 00:25:29,711
Can we find a cave?
596
00:25:32,013 --> 00:25:33,215
Don't ask.
597
00:25:33,281 --> 00:25:35,550
- Wait, it depends, for who.
- You.
598
00:25:38,221 --> 00:25:42,224
This, I mean, this idea
basically was a layup for us.
599
00:25:42,290 --> 00:25:44,026
Just how do we make
Joe's stupid face
600
00:25:44,093 --> 00:25:45,294
look even more stupid?
601
00:25:45,361 --> 00:25:48,830
The conceit here
is Joe lost his tour
602
00:25:48,897 --> 00:25:50,799
about three decades ago.
603
00:25:50,867 --> 00:25:53,336
And he's been living
under the earth ever since.
604
00:25:53,403 --> 00:25:56,239
Middle of the summer,
when it's 110 degrees outside,
605
00:25:56,305 --> 00:25:58,106
this is the place to be,
I'll tell you that.
606
00:25:58,173 --> 00:25:59,976
When you guys see Joe
for the first time,
607
00:26:00,041 --> 00:26:01,544
that's the first time
we're seeing Joe.
608
00:26:01,611 --> 00:26:02,778
I can't wait for this.
609
00:26:02,845 --> 00:26:03,881
So as we're coming
through here,
610
00:26:03,945 --> 00:26:05,280
kind of look along the ceiling.
611
00:26:05,347 --> 00:26:07,048
We got lots
of these little divots.
612
00:26:07,115 --> 00:26:09,018
Here we go.
613
00:26:09,085 --> 00:26:10,586
You'll notice these cracks.
614
00:26:10,653 --> 00:26:13,455
That's the water movement
when all this was underwater.
615
00:26:13,522 --> 00:26:14,656
Hello?
616
00:26:14,723 --> 00:26:16,224
- Oh.
- Oh.
617
00:26:16,291 --> 00:26:19,194
- Yo.
- Oh, hey, man.
618
00:26:19,261 --> 00:26:20,596
Oh.
619
00:26:20,663 --> 00:26:24,032
- Are you all right?
- Yeah. What's up?
620
00:26:25,968 --> 00:26:28,336
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
621
00:26:29,806 --> 00:26:32,741
Look at their faces.
They're shocked.
622
00:26:32,808 --> 00:26:35,010
Oh, my God. For real, though?
623
00:26:35,076 --> 00:26:36,778
That's freakin' me out.
624
00:26:36,846 --> 00:26:37,980
It's freakin' you out?
625
00:26:38,047 --> 00:26:39,214
Imagine what this is like
for me.
626
00:26:39,281 --> 00:26:40,482
You all right, dude?
627
00:26:40,549 --> 00:26:41,717
No, I've been
to too many movies.
628
00:26:41,784 --> 00:26:42,853
Oh, he's gross.
629
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:44,887
I got lost
a little while ago.
630
00:26:44,953 --> 00:26:46,154
Hey.
631
00:26:46,221 --> 00:26:47,457
I didn't think he was...
I didn't think
632
00:26:47,522 --> 00:26:49,057
he was gonna come out
of this cave.
633
00:26:49,125 --> 00:26:51,693
I was waiting for my parents.
634
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:53,395
I've been down here since 1987.
635
00:26:55,198 --> 00:26:56,632
Dad said,
"Don't have a cow, man.
636
00:26:56,699 --> 00:26:57,732
Talk to the hand."
637
00:26:57,799 --> 00:27:00,068
And I was here...
638
00:27:00,135 --> 00:27:01,636
I got all turned around.
639
00:27:01,703 --> 00:27:04,105
What happened was I was looking
for the gift shop...
640
00:27:05,074 --> 00:27:06,442
It's on down the left.
641
00:27:08,044 --> 00:27:10,011
I went on my ass
to the left here...
642
00:27:10,078 --> 00:27:11,380
I like your shirt.
643
00:27:11,446 --> 00:27:13,482
I'm the beef.
644
00:27:13,548 --> 00:27:15,750
Joe, be proud
of your "I'm the Beef" shirt.
645
00:27:15,817 --> 00:27:17,855
- Back of...
- I'm the beef.
646
00:27:17,921 --> 00:27:20,256
I'm the beef.
647
00:27:20,323 --> 00:27:21,490
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to interrupt.
648
00:27:21,557 --> 00:27:23,159
- I'll just fold in.
- Oh, okay.
649
00:27:23,226 --> 00:27:25,228
Well, the water...
650
00:27:25,294 --> 00:27:26,796
Again, the water
that moves through it,
651
00:27:26,864 --> 00:27:28,530
that just opens up the cave.
652
00:27:28,597 --> 00:27:30,799
So this water,
usually, with the rain,
653
00:27:30,867 --> 00:27:32,034
will come up over that way.
654
00:27:32,101 --> 00:27:33,269
Y'all have any questions?
655
00:27:33,336 --> 00:27:34,302
I have...
I have a lot of questions.
656
00:27:34,369 --> 00:27:36,506
Uh, yeah. Go ahead.
657
00:27:36,572 --> 00:27:38,807
Let's start
with what year is it?
658
00:27:38,875 --> 00:27:41,344
- It's 2018, sir.
- Okay.
659
00:27:41,410 --> 00:27:44,513
Let me check my pager.
660
00:27:44,579 --> 00:27:46,983
Joe, have them fall in line
and walk in front of them
661
00:27:47,048 --> 00:27:48,483
- like you're a sergeant.
- Why don't you...
662
00:27:48,550 --> 00:27:50,286
Why don't you let me
just tell everybody?
663
00:27:50,353 --> 00:27:51,453
- You're pissed at everybody.
- This water comes every...
664
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:52,788
Come on, Neil.
665
00:27:54,089 --> 00:27:55,423
This is what happened.
666
00:27:55,490 --> 00:27:57,093
You go up this ravine
and it's a dead end.
667
00:27:57,159 --> 00:28:00,796
- Goes up, like, 200 feet.
- 350 feet, Neil.
668
00:28:00,864 --> 00:28:03,332
Goes to 350 feet, okay?
669
00:28:03,398 --> 00:28:04,599
I mean, if you're gonna
talk out your ass,
670
00:28:04,666 --> 00:28:06,102
turn around
so I can understand you.
671
00:28:09,538 --> 00:28:11,406
Anybody know who shot J.R.?
672
00:28:11,473 --> 00:28:13,108
Do you guys know who shot J.R.?
673
00:28:15,411 --> 00:28:17,747
'Cause I missed...
J.R. from Dallas.
674
00:28:17,813 --> 00:28:18,981
I missed that.
675
00:28:19,048 --> 00:28:20,750
It's been on my mind
for so long.
676
00:28:20,816 --> 00:28:23,818
- Dad?
- Dad? What?
677
00:28:23,886 --> 00:28:25,820
I didn't say shit.
678
00:28:28,124 --> 00:28:30,027
You guys,
follow me out of here.
679
00:28:30,092 --> 00:28:31,227
I'm dying to get outside.
680
00:28:31,294 --> 00:28:32,528
Did Mondale get a second term?
681
00:28:32,595 --> 00:28:34,430
Did Mondale get a second term?
682
00:28:37,299 --> 00:28:40,403
Uh, okay, we're still
rolling here, guys.
683
00:28:41,836 --> 00:28:44,707
You fucking son of a bitch.
Oh, my God.
684
00:28:44,773 --> 00:28:47,143
Oh, my God.
It scared the shit out of me.
685
00:28:47,209 --> 00:28:48,711
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God!
686
00:28:57,452 --> 00:28:59,121
Turn up the tension.
Pedal, pedal.
687
00:28:59,188 --> 00:29:00,489
- Hey, bud, what's up?
- Hey.
688
00:29:00,556 --> 00:29:04,226
You, uh, have
a laptop charger or...
689
00:29:04,292 --> 00:29:05,661
Which one?
USB-C or the older ones?
690
00:29:05,728 --> 00:29:08,564
Let's go, ladies!
Keep it going!
691
00:29:08,631 --> 00:29:11,133
Work the quads,
work the glutes.
692
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:12,468
Anyways, what can I do
for you, bud?
693
00:29:12,535 --> 00:29:14,336
- "Let's go, ladies"?
- Let's go, yeah.
694
00:29:14,403 --> 00:29:15,905
Who are these ladies?
695
00:29:15,972 --> 00:29:18,240
Do me a favor, keep 'em
encouraged while I'm gone.
696
00:29:20,675 --> 00:29:22,711
Let's go!
697
00:29:22,778 --> 00:29:25,048
You are doggin' it!
I want to see more out of you!
698
00:29:25,114 --> 00:29:26,382
You over there,
you're looking good.
699
00:29:26,449 --> 00:29:28,085
- Let's go!
- Sorry, that's too much.
700
00:29:28,150 --> 00:29:29,518
- That's too much.
- Yeah, I'm so sorry.
701
00:29:29,585 --> 00:29:30,854
I don't have the USB-C,
I have the older laptop,
702
00:29:30,921 --> 00:29:32,021
so I don't got it, bud.
703
00:29:32,088 --> 00:29:33,489
Good?
704
00:29:33,556 --> 00:29:34,958
- Did you...
- I haven't got it, okay?
705
00:29:35,025 --> 00:29:38,160
Come on, ladies!
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
706
00:29:53,241 --> 00:29:55,344
Q is on a boat
with a couple of strangers,
707
00:29:55,411 --> 00:29:57,413
and we've arranged
for this boat to pull up
708
00:29:57,480 --> 00:29:58,882
on someone in distress.
709
00:29:58,949 --> 00:30:01,683
Q doesn't know who, how,
or what the situation is.
710
00:30:01,750 --> 00:30:03,752
In that moment,
the captain's gonna say,
711
00:30:03,818 --> 00:30:05,955
because of the law,
he cannot accept
712
00:30:06,022 --> 00:30:07,256
anyone else on the boat
713
00:30:07,323 --> 00:30:08,892
unless it's unanimously
agreed upon.
714
00:30:08,959 --> 00:30:10,726
The catch is that we're
gonna give him the reason
715
00:30:10,792 --> 00:30:12,327
why this guy
can't get on the boat.
716
00:30:13,362 --> 00:30:14,663
You see that?
717
00:30:14,730 --> 00:30:17,365
Guy over there
flagging us down.
718
00:30:17,432 --> 00:30:19,434
- A guy?
- Uh-oh, Q. Uh-oh, Q.
719
00:30:19,501 --> 00:30:20,670
Somebody's in the water.
720
00:30:23,638 --> 00:30:25,041
You see who that is, Q?
721
00:30:25,107 --> 00:30:28,611
Is that a U.S. soldier?
722
00:30:28,678 --> 00:30:30,680
- A hero?
- An American hero.
723
00:30:30,746 --> 00:30:33,150
It's G.I. Float.
724
00:30:33,214 --> 00:30:35,718
I'm a U.S. soldier in distress.
725
00:30:35,785 --> 00:30:36,886
Can you please help?
726
00:30:36,952 --> 00:30:38,087
We have to make sure
that everyone's okay
727
00:30:38,154 --> 00:30:39,320
with bringing him on.
728
00:30:39,387 --> 00:30:40,322
Are you guys
all right with that?
729
00:30:40,388 --> 00:30:41,723
Yeah, that's all right.
730
00:30:41,790 --> 00:30:43,325
You're okay
with bringing him on?
731
00:30:43,392 --> 00:30:46,962
If he's in distress,
then we want to help.
732
00:30:47,029 --> 00:30:48,364
You okay to bring him on?
733
00:30:48,431 --> 00:30:49,798
Well, hear me out.
734
00:30:49,865 --> 00:30:51,433
I mean, we help a solider
in a dinghy,
735
00:30:51,500 --> 00:30:53,335
what's that gonna do
for his confidence?
736
00:30:53,402 --> 00:30:55,570
If we...
737
00:30:55,637 --> 00:30:57,605
If we were to help
a soldier in a dinghy,
738
00:30:57,673 --> 00:30:59,575
what's that do
for his confidence?
739
00:31:01,576 --> 00:31:04,146
We have backed him
into a corner like no other.
740
00:31:04,212 --> 00:31:06,315
- Where's he from?
- Where did you serve?
741
00:31:06,382 --> 00:31:09,051
- Iraq.
- Oh, so he survived Iraq.
742
00:31:09,118 --> 00:31:10,486
He's okay.
743
00:31:10,553 --> 00:31:13,089
I thank you for your service.
744
00:31:13,155 --> 00:31:15,825
I'm just saying, we don't really
know anything about the guy.
745
00:31:15,892 --> 00:31:17,928
They sell that outfit
at any Army-Navy store.
746
00:31:17,993 --> 00:31:20,462
You know?
747
00:31:20,528 --> 00:31:21,897
How is this even an issue?
748
00:31:26,367 --> 00:31:27,702
I know this looks like
I don't want
749
00:31:27,769 --> 00:31:29,205
to save a U.S. soldier
in distress...
750
00:31:29,305 --> 00:31:31,007
- No, it doesn't.
- It doesn't? Great.
751
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:33,977
- Oh! Oh, my God!
- Wow.
752
00:31:34,044 --> 00:31:36,511
How is he convincing people
not to help a soldier?
753
00:31:36,578 --> 00:31:38,914
I know, right, a unanimous
vote from you guys, seriously.
754
00:31:38,981 --> 00:31:40,150
Yeah, we're good.
755
00:31:40,217 --> 00:31:41,416
We talked it out,
756
00:31:41,483 --> 00:31:43,519
and we're okay
just bailing on him.
757
00:31:43,586 --> 00:31:45,087
I feel bad
leaving him out there.
758
00:31:45,154 --> 00:31:46,555
- Yes!
- Oh.
759
00:31:46,622 --> 00:31:48,959
I need an answer
from each of you, then, so...
760
00:31:49,025 --> 00:31:51,127
I'll go with whatever
the group decides.
761
00:31:51,193 --> 00:31:52,327
Let him on the boat.
762
00:31:52,394 --> 00:31:53,561
- Yeah?
- Oh!
763
00:31:53,628 --> 00:31:56,432
- Let him on?
- Yeah!
764
00:31:56,499 --> 00:31:57,833
Where were you going to?
765
00:31:57,901 --> 00:32:00,269
Uh, actually,
I was trying to get to Miami
766
00:32:00,336 --> 00:32:02,071
to see the Paula Abdul concert.
767
00:32:03,672 --> 00:32:06,009
Aren't we all.
768
00:32:11,914 --> 00:32:13,582
This looks like
a real party crowd
769
00:32:13,648 --> 00:32:15,919
you have out there, pal.
770
00:32:15,986 --> 00:32:17,819
We're about to roll up
on somebody.
771
00:32:17,887 --> 00:32:20,455
Here we go,
they're already worried.
772
00:32:20,522 --> 00:32:22,259
It's a man in a boat?
773
00:32:22,324 --> 00:32:24,059
Joe, why don't you go take
a look at who's in distress?
774
00:32:24,126 --> 00:32:26,327
Just watch Joe's face.
775
00:32:28,430 --> 00:32:29,698
I'm stuck.
776
00:32:29,765 --> 00:32:31,500
Can you swing around,
give me a hand?
777
00:32:31,567 --> 00:32:32,701
Oh, man.
778
00:32:34,938 --> 00:32:37,338
Oh, I'm stuck!
779
00:32:37,405 --> 00:32:40,109
I'm having trouble
getting back on the boat.
780
00:32:40,176 --> 00:32:42,945
What does he think?
781
00:32:43,012 --> 00:32:45,548
Basically, maritime law says
that if we bring him on,
782
00:32:45,614 --> 00:32:47,549
everyone has to be okay
with us bringing him on.
783
00:32:47,615 --> 00:32:49,986
- Does it have to be unanimous?
- It has to be unanimous.
784
00:32:50,052 --> 00:32:51,420
- Is it all right with you?
- Oh, no it...
785
00:32:51,487 --> 00:32:52,520
- Is it okay with you, sir?
- Yeah.
786
00:32:53,190 --> 00:32:54,824
Oh, no.
787
00:32:56,192 --> 00:32:57,358
I mean, hear me out.
788
00:32:57,425 --> 00:32:58,727
I promised I'd never put myself
789
00:32:58,794 --> 00:33:00,328
into this situation again.
790
00:33:00,395 --> 00:33:01,630
I promised
I'd never put myself
791
00:33:01,696 --> 00:33:02,965
in this situation again.
792
00:33:03,032 --> 00:33:04,233
I've been burned once.
793
00:33:04,300 --> 00:33:05,134
I'm not gonna let it
happen twice.
794
00:33:06,970 --> 00:33:08,537
- You're saying no?
- I'm saying no, yeah.
795
00:33:08,604 --> 00:33:10,638
Murr, I'm having issues
with my dinghy.
796
00:33:10,705 --> 00:33:13,474
Guys, I'm having issues
with my dinghy.
797
00:33:13,541 --> 00:33:15,411
I don't know which dinghy
he's talking about.
798
00:33:15,477 --> 00:33:17,479
I don't know.
799
00:33:19,115 --> 00:33:21,884
I mean, you gotta see it
from our point of view, pal.
800
00:33:21,951 --> 00:33:23,751
Joe, go on a rant.
Take this thing over.
801
00:33:23,818 --> 00:33:25,520
You got your buttocks out
in the middle of the ocean,
802
00:33:25,587 --> 00:33:27,388
bobbing up and down
with a lady on the boat,
803
00:33:27,455 --> 00:33:28,858
I mean, you want us
to take you on...
804
00:33:28,924 --> 00:33:30,526
- I mean, where are your trunks?
- What?
805
00:33:30,593 --> 00:33:32,863
The logic doesn't track.
Where are your trunks?
806
00:33:34,829 --> 00:33:36,866
Can't we just help him
get on his boat?
807
00:33:36,932 --> 00:33:38,467
Joey,
it's you versus Murr.
808
00:33:38,534 --> 00:33:41,003
- He gets on, you lose.
- Dead, pal.
809
00:33:41,070 --> 00:33:44,405
Yeah, the rule is we both
get on this boat, I lose.
810
00:33:45,241 --> 00:33:47,843
- Pretty much.
- What?
811
00:33:47,911 --> 00:33:49,278
Wait, wait, whoa, whoa.
Hold on!
812
00:33:49,346 --> 00:33:50,679
What are you doing?
813
00:33:51,512 --> 00:33:53,148
Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joey.
814
00:33:53,215 --> 00:33:54,782
What are you... What?
815
00:33:54,851 --> 00:33:57,385
I'm out. Ah!
816
00:34:00,990 --> 00:34:02,325
Is this for real?
817
00:34:02,391 --> 00:34:04,626
He's gonna save him.
He's going to save him.
818
00:34:04,692 --> 00:34:07,695
- Come on!
- So Murray still loses.
819
00:34:07,762 --> 00:34:09,199
- That's it, he's off.
- Oh, my God, Murray...
820
00:34:09,266 --> 00:34:10,398
Well, he's not
getting on the boat.
821
00:34:10,465 --> 00:34:11,500
- Get in...
- Just not...
822
00:34:11,567 --> 00:34:13,768
- Oh!
- Oh!
823
00:34:13,835 --> 00:34:15,603
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
824
00:34:15,670 --> 00:34:18,007
How could you dare
touch that ass?
825
00:34:18,074 --> 00:34:20,876
- I'll see you back at land.
- Are you kidding me? Joe!
826
00:34:20,943 --> 00:34:22,443
Do you have beer on this boat?
827
00:34:24,079 --> 00:34:25,282
Son of a...
828
00:34:46,668 --> 00:34:49,905
- Wow. This is special.
- Ooh.
829
00:34:49,972 --> 00:34:51,472
You couldn't have booked
something a little bit better?
830
00:34:51,539 --> 00:34:53,108
It's 2 1/2 stars.
How many stars do you need?
831
00:34:53,175 --> 00:34:54,742
- All of them.
- One of the reviews,
832
00:34:54,809 --> 00:34:57,780
Danny D. says,
"Found two crack pipes, lolz."
833
00:34:57,846 --> 00:35:00,317
With a Z.
Still gave it four stars.
834
00:35:00,382 --> 00:35:01,483
- All right.
- With a Z?
835
00:35:01,550 --> 00:35:02,952
- It's got cable.
- That's hip.
836
00:35:13,028 --> 00:35:14,463
You guys did not think
we weren't gonna
837
00:35:14,530 --> 00:35:16,032
mess with Sal
on this trip, did you?
838
00:35:16,099 --> 00:35:18,001
Yeah, that's right, we stopped
at this roadside motel
839
00:35:18,068 --> 00:35:19,501
because they allow pets.
840
00:35:19,568 --> 00:35:21,003
You're about to see
a grown man cry.
841
00:35:23,106 --> 00:35:24,773
I was saying, like, pull up
to him, so it could be fun.
842
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:26,507
Just... You're just going
to see what he's doing.
843
00:35:26,574 --> 00:35:28,677
- Right. Hoodie's on?
- Get in.
844
00:35:31,847 --> 00:35:32,949
What?
845
00:35:36,485 --> 00:35:38,253
All right. Can I...
846
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:39,722
Just open the door, buddy.
847
00:35:39,788 --> 00:35:41,858
- There's no handle.
- No handle?
848
00:35:41,925 --> 00:35:43,559
This isn't the nicest motel.
849
00:35:43,625 --> 00:35:45,128
This wasn't right for today.
850
00:35:45,195 --> 00:35:47,230
Sal, everybody knows
you're afraid of cats.
851
00:35:55,570 --> 00:35:58,340
Oh, my...
852
00:35:58,407 --> 00:36:00,275
That's a tiger.
853
00:36:00,342 --> 00:36:02,677
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
854
00:36:02,744 --> 00:36:05,847
I can't do this. Oh, my God.
855
00:36:05,914 --> 00:36:08,985
How did you get the insurance
to sign off on this?
856
00:36:09,052 --> 00:36:10,387
We didn't.
857
00:36:10,452 --> 00:36:12,788
Guys, I don't think it's funny.
I don't want to do it.
858
00:36:12,856 --> 00:36:15,824
Guys, please. Guys, please.
Guys, please.
859
00:36:15,891 --> 00:36:17,293
I don't think it's funny, guys.
860
00:36:19,061 --> 00:36:20,262
Oh. Can't move.
861
00:36:20,329 --> 00:36:22,597
Yeah, that's probably wise
that you don't move.
862
00:36:22,664 --> 00:36:25,034
I've seen so many movies
and so many TV shows...
863
00:36:25,101 --> 00:36:27,568
In one second,
if this tiger wants to kill me,
864
00:36:27,635 --> 00:36:29,570
the tiger's gonna kill me.
865
00:36:31,306 --> 00:36:33,675
Guys, did you think this
through all the way?
866
00:36:33,742 --> 00:36:35,110
- Not really
- Not really, no.
867
00:36:35,177 --> 00:36:37,012
How can you do this to me?
What do I do?
868
00:36:37,079 --> 00:36:38,514
Try to get
out of the room, bud.
869
00:36:38,579 --> 00:36:40,150
There's a door
right in front of you.
870
00:36:43,519 --> 00:36:45,054
- Uh-oh.
- Uh-oh.
871
00:36:45,121 --> 00:36:46,856
Now he's more concerned
about the lock than the tiger.
872
00:36:46,922 --> 00:36:49,958
No, no, no, no, no.
873
00:36:50,025 --> 00:36:51,293
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
874
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:52,394
Oh, my God!
875
00:36:52,461 --> 00:36:56,365
Guys, I can't make it.
876
00:36:56,432 --> 00:36:58,034
Good, he's brushing
his teeth. Go, go.
877
00:36:58,101 --> 00:36:59,802
- He's brushing his teeth.
- There he goes.
878
00:36:59,869 --> 00:37:00,835
- He's up on the sink.
- Get out of there.
879
00:37:00,903 --> 00:37:03,239
Get out of there, quick.
880
00:37:03,306 --> 00:37:05,275
Look at the poster
in front of your face.
881
00:37:05,340 --> 00:37:08,210
- You think that's funny?
- It's the shit.
882
00:37:08,277 --> 00:37:10,045
Just hang in there, pal.
883
00:37:10,112 --> 00:37:11,813
Guys, I...
884
00:37:12,713 --> 00:37:15,251
don't think this is funny.
885
00:37:15,318 --> 00:37:17,619
- Who's there?
- Just let me in, guys.
886
00:37:17,686 --> 00:37:18,954
- It's not funny.
- Sal, it's super easy.
887
00:37:19,021 --> 00:37:20,090
You just have to say
this sentence.
888
00:37:20,155 --> 00:37:21,490
- Go ahead.
- "Let me in.
889
00:37:21,557 --> 00:37:23,724
I'm a baby bitch boy."
890
00:37:23,791 --> 00:37:25,327
Let me in,
I'm the baby bitch boy.
891
00:37:26,829 --> 00:37:28,364
No, no, that's what Joe
wanted you to say.
892
00:37:28,431 --> 00:37:29,831
I want you to say,
893
00:37:29,898 --> 00:37:33,235
"Murr's funnier, smarter,
and better than me."
894
00:37:33,302 --> 00:37:35,038
Come here, buddy.
Come here, buddy.
895
00:37:51,121 --> 00:37:53,356
Chaplin moustache
will never come back.
896
00:37:53,422 --> 00:37:54,456
- Oh, hey, bud.
- Hey.
897
00:37:54,523 --> 00:37:55,358
Do you know the Wi-Fi password?
898
00:37:55,425 --> 00:37:56,692
Oh, the Wi-Fi?
899
00:37:56,757 --> 00:37:57,960
Sure, you don't have it
in your room?
900
00:37:58,027 --> 00:37:59,896
No, the card's not in there,
so, yeah.
901
00:38:05,335 --> 00:38:07,003
I mean, just search
for Morgan Suites.
902
00:38:07,070 --> 00:38:08,570
The password is "password."
903
00:38:08,637 --> 00:38:10,306
The password is "password"?
That's not very secure.
904
00:38:10,373 --> 00:38:12,041
- No.
- Yeah. Oh, hey.
905
00:38:12,108 --> 00:38:14,710
Oh, hey! It's the Houlihans.
906
00:38:14,775 --> 00:38:16,844
One sec. Hey, Marisa, Chris.
Come on.
907
00:38:16,913 --> 00:38:17,947
- Please, please.
- Murr!
908
00:38:18,014 --> 00:38:19,681
Hey, Marisa, you look gorgeous.
909
00:38:19,748 --> 00:38:20,715
- Yeah.
- And Chris.
910
00:38:20,782 --> 00:38:21,851
Scotch is in the back.
911
00:38:21,918 --> 00:38:23,253
- Take it easy this time.
- Always.
912
00:38:23,318 --> 00:38:24,387
- All right, buddy. Good night.
- All right, man.
913
00:38:24,454 --> 00:38:25,387
You have a good night.
914
00:38:35,532 --> 00:38:36,965
Grover Cleveland
was a Capricorn... Yeah, man?
915
00:38:37,032 --> 00:38:38,268
Are there any caps
on the password?
916
00:38:38,333 --> 00:38:39,302
All caps.
917
00:38:39,369 --> 00:38:40,802
All caps password.
Yeah, thanks.
918
00:39:01,523 --> 00:39:04,760
Uh-huh. I guess I'm late.
919
00:39:04,826 --> 00:39:07,163
What do you want to do?
920
00:39:07,230 --> 00:39:08,829
All right, this looks nice
and cool in the sun.
921
00:39:08,898 --> 00:39:09,865
This is gonna be great.
922
00:39:13,469 --> 00:39:15,405
All right.
923
00:39:15,471 --> 00:39:16,873
Here we go.
924
00:39:16,940 --> 00:39:18,608
Oh, God, I'm gonna die.
925
00:39:20,076 --> 00:39:22,244
Nobody told me your name,
buddy.
926
00:39:22,311 --> 00:39:24,547
So how about we go
with Benjamin Horse?
927
00:39:24,614 --> 00:39:26,315
Yes. All right.
928
00:39:30,619 --> 00:39:32,322
Oh.
929
00:39:32,387 --> 00:39:33,789
Oh, my goodness.
930
00:39:35,324 --> 00:39:39,161
This says we go up one mile
and make a left,
931
00:39:39,228 --> 00:39:42,931
and then we can punch the guys.
932
00:39:42,998 --> 00:39:44,867
I'd like to marry a girl
like you one day.
933
00:39:44,934 --> 00:39:47,735
Pretty. Beautiful blue eyes.
934
00:39:47,802 --> 00:39:50,005
Calm, steady demeanor.
935
00:39:50,072 --> 00:39:53,742
You guys messed up,
because I'm havin' a blast!
936
00:39:53,809 --> 00:39:56,211
This is the best
road trip ever!
937
00:40:02,952 --> 00:40:04,320
Let me ask you this,
938
00:40:04,387 --> 00:40:06,556
When was the last time
you had an E.L. Fudge?
939
00:40:06,623 --> 00:40:08,257
- One week ago.
- Really?
940
00:40:08,324 --> 00:40:09,626
- No exaggeration.
- You're lying.
941
00:40:09,692 --> 00:40:11,393
I swear to God.
942
00:40:11,460 --> 00:40:13,563
Fudge Stripe gets all the shine
over at Keebler.
943
00:40:13,630 --> 00:40:14,998
Fudge Stripe's a better cookie.
944
00:40:15,063 --> 00:40:16,831
I'm talking Keebler,
I'm talking E.L. Fudge.
945
00:40:16,898 --> 00:40:18,668
I'm talking Fudge Stripe,
and then I move on.
946
00:40:18,735 --> 00:40:20,103
I'll give you $1,000/
947
00:40:20,168 --> 00:40:21,871
if any of you can tell me
what E.L. stands for.
948
00:40:23,306 --> 00:40:24,840
I'm blowing your mind
right now.
949
00:40:24,907 --> 00:40:28,277
Everybody loves?
950
00:40:28,344 --> 00:40:31,748
- Shit.
- You carry $1,000 with you?
951
00:40:31,813 --> 00:40:34,384
- I think I see someone.
- Yeah!
952
00:40:34,449 --> 00:40:35,518
Oh, there he is.
953
00:40:36,485 --> 00:40:38,655
Welcome to the party, pal.
954
00:40:38,721 --> 00:40:40,056
Come on, Fatiator.
955
00:40:40,123 --> 00:40:42,324
Once my balls shot directly
up in my body
956
00:40:42,391 --> 00:40:45,827
about a mile back,
I started enjoying it.
957
00:40:45,894 --> 00:40:47,262
- You got it. Be careful, man.
- Whoa!
958
00:40:47,329 --> 00:40:50,733
- Park it over there.
- Okay, okay. All right.
959
00:40:50,798 --> 00:40:51,867
You good?
960
00:40:57,072 --> 00:40:58,541
You're forever
my horse, baby.
961
00:41:09,686 --> 00:41:11,721
Murr, how... This idiot.
962
00:41:11,788 --> 00:41:13,255
- What?
- Look at...
963
00:41:15,224 --> 00:41:17,260
How does he even sleep
like that?
964
00:41:17,327 --> 00:41:18,860
Oh, man.
He's got no idea what's coming.
965
00:41:18,927 --> 00:41:21,097
Oh, I know.
I've already made some calls.
966
00:41:52,362 --> 00:41:54,163
I'm shaking.
967
00:41:54,230 --> 00:41:55,965
All right, how are you?
968
00:42:01,871 --> 00:42:03,271
Well, ladies,
this is the birthday boy.
969
00:42:03,338 --> 00:42:04,407
We're here to celebrate him.
970
00:42:06,876 --> 00:42:08,577
So let's do this.
971
00:42:13,516 --> 00:42:14,817
I hold back.
972
00:42:14,884 --> 00:42:17,085
I get shy at first.
973
00:42:18,954 --> 00:42:21,123
I guess it is a little.
974
00:42:21,190 --> 00:42:22,458
It's his birthday, ladies.
975
00:42:22,525 --> 00:42:24,193
What does this look like
from your vantage?
976
00:42:47,885 --> 00:42:49,251
Are you serious?
977
00:42:49,318 --> 00:42:51,387
That's Murray's family
behind us.
978
00:42:51,454 --> 00:42:54,157
That's James' nieces
and nephews.
979
00:42:54,222 --> 00:42:56,291
- Happy birthday, my friend.
- Oh, my God.
980
00:42:56,358 --> 00:42:58,293
They're all here!
981
00:43:04,534 --> 00:43:08,905
Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?
982
00:43:15,210 --> 00:43:16,679
Everybody's ready to roll.
983
00:43:18,815 --> 00:43:20,215
James, they're so innocent.
984
00:43:20,282 --> 00:43:22,853
Are you kidding me?
You flew my whole...
985
00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:25,588
That's my nieces and nephews.
986
00:43:25,655 --> 00:43:27,523
It's all fake?
987
00:43:27,590 --> 00:43:28,925
Happy birthday!
988
00:43:36,331 --> 00:43:39,268
Huh. The Atlanta Hawks
are hiring.
989
00:43:40,938 --> 00:43:42,137
Players?
990
00:43:44,306 --> 00:43:45,909
I feel like they shouldn't
put an ad out for that.
991
00:43:45,974 --> 00:43:47,443
It's unclear.
992
00:43:49,811 --> 00:43:51,179
All righty. Here we go.
993
00:43:57,954 --> 00:43:59,121
- Murr.
- Yep.
994
00:43:59,188 --> 00:44:00,356
- How you doing, buddy?
- I'm good.
995
00:44:01,356 --> 00:44:02,893
Here we go. Here we go, guys.
996
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:05,027
- Here we go. We're in.
- How are you doing?
997
00:44:05,094 --> 00:44:06,362
- Hey, I'm James Murray. Nice to meet you.
- Hey, nice to meet you. Joe.
998
00:44:06,429 --> 00:44:07,829
- How are you?
- Good, good.
999
00:44:07,898 --> 00:44:09,164
- How are you doing?
- Joe, pleasure. I'm great.
1000
00:44:09,231 --> 00:44:10,333
- Thank you so much.
- Awesome.
1001
00:44:10,398 --> 00:44:11,501
- Well, welcome.
- Thank you.
1002
00:44:11,567 --> 00:44:12,735
So where are you
coming in from?
1003
00:44:12,802 --> 00:44:14,170
Oh, I live here in Atlanta.
1004
00:44:14,237 --> 00:44:15,838
You answer the questions
we ask you.
1005
00:44:15,905 --> 00:44:17,440
So where are you
from originally?
1006
00:44:17,507 --> 00:44:19,407
Where do I see myself
in five years?
1007
00:44:19,474 --> 00:44:22,378
Well, in five years,
I see myself well on track
1008
00:44:22,445 --> 00:44:24,480
to maybe a managerial...
1009
00:44:24,547 --> 00:44:25,715
Okay, great.
1010
00:44:25,780 --> 00:44:27,817
So how'd you hear
about this role in particular?
1011
00:44:27,885 --> 00:44:29,518
Oh.
1012
00:44:29,585 --> 00:44:30,753
Well, what do you feel
your biggest strength is?
1013
00:44:30,820 --> 00:44:32,021
My biggest strengths are...
1014
00:44:33,422 --> 00:44:35,858
I would say confidence,
approachability...
1015
00:44:35,925 --> 00:44:37,527
- Sure.
- I'm easy to talk with.
1016
00:44:37,592 --> 00:44:39,362
Why leave your position
at Georgia State?
1017
00:44:39,427 --> 00:44:40,931
I saw you were there
until March.
1018
00:44:40,998 --> 00:44:42,965
- In full disclosure...
- In full disclosure...
1019
00:44:43,032 --> 00:44:48,005
- I had a child out of wedlock.
- I had a child out of wedlock.
1020
00:44:48,070 --> 00:44:50,306
If that disqualifies me
from the job, I understand.
1021
00:44:50,373 --> 00:44:53,074
If that disqualifies me
from the job, I understand.
1022
00:44:53,141 --> 00:44:55,811
- Nope. Nope. Certainly not.
- Right.
1023
00:44:57,413 --> 00:44:59,514
I put a Polaroid camera.
Just take a quick picture.
1024
00:45:00,215 --> 00:45:01,250
- Cool.
- Right?
1025
00:45:01,317 --> 00:45:02,784
- You got a...
- Yeah.
1026
00:45:04,452 --> 00:45:06,621
- Camera. Nice.
- Yeah.
1027
00:45:06,688 --> 00:45:08,257
Get him to sign it.
Get him to sign it.
1028
00:45:08,324 --> 00:45:10,458
- Well, um...
- Can you autograph?
1029
00:45:10,525 --> 00:45:12,193
- Is that cool?
- Sure, yeah. Yeah, bring it.
1030
00:45:12,260 --> 00:45:13,528
I mean,
you are on the Hawks.
1031
00:45:13,596 --> 00:45:15,032
I mean,
you are on the Hawks, so...
1032
00:45:15,097 --> 00:45:16,666
Yeah, well... Yeah.
1033
00:45:16,731 --> 00:45:18,568
I have to apologize
if I seem a little off.
1034
00:45:18,634 --> 00:45:20,202
I have to apologize,
by the way,
1035
00:45:20,268 --> 00:45:21,905
if I seem a little off
during the interview.
1036
00:45:21,972 --> 00:45:23,105
Aunt Flo's in town.
1037
00:45:23,172 --> 00:45:25,407
Aunt...
1038
00:45:25,474 --> 00:45:27,309
Frick.
1039
00:45:27,376 --> 00:45:28,710
Looks like I'm not
getting the job.
1040
00:45:31,246 --> 00:45:32,949
- Or the party ticket.
- Yeah.
1041
00:45:36,217 --> 00:45:37,619
Look at this, boys.
1042
00:45:37,686 --> 00:45:38,989
This is big-time...
You get this job,
1043
00:45:39,056 --> 00:45:40,389
you're gonna be
big-time, buddy.
1044
00:45:40,456 --> 00:45:41,523
This is a big-time gig
we're infiltrating.
1045
00:45:41,590 --> 00:45:43,659
I'm ready for the big time.
1046
00:45:43,726 --> 00:45:45,594
- Here she comes.
- Hello, hi.
1047
00:45:45,661 --> 00:45:47,429
- How are you?
- How are you? I'm Brian.
1048
00:45:47,496 --> 00:45:50,199
- Hey. Nice to meet you.
- Very nice to meet you.
1049
00:45:50,266 --> 00:45:51,233
Here we go.
1050
00:45:51,300 --> 00:45:52,735
- Oh.
- Here we go, Q.
1051
00:45:52,802 --> 00:45:54,804
You've seen
the job description.
1052
00:45:54,871 --> 00:45:56,338
- I have. Yeah.
- Correct?
1053
00:45:56,405 --> 00:45:58,641
- I got it right here.
- Two words, under qualified.
1054
00:45:58,708 --> 00:46:01,476
Two words, under qualified,
but willing to learn.
1055
00:46:01,543 --> 00:46:03,512
Willing to learn. That's great.
1056
00:46:04,813 --> 00:46:07,449
Can you describe
your style of management?
1057
00:46:07,516 --> 00:46:09,085
- My style of management?
- Mmm-hmm.
1058
00:46:09,150 --> 00:46:10,452
Sure, well,
my nickname's Crab Cake,
1059
00:46:10,518 --> 00:46:11,954
so if that's any indication...
1060
00:46:12,021 --> 00:46:14,356
My nickname... All my, uh...
1061
00:46:14,422 --> 00:46:16,257
All my workers
call me Crab Cakes,
1062
00:46:16,324 --> 00:46:17,760
if that's any indication.
1063
00:46:17,827 --> 00:46:18,961
- Yeah.
- Really?
1064
00:46:19,028 --> 00:46:20,030
- Yeah, Crab Cakes.
- Yeah.
1065
00:46:21,496 --> 00:46:23,199
If the guys want
to call me Crab Cakes,
1066
00:46:23,264 --> 00:46:26,068
hey, call me Crab Cakes.
1067
00:46:26,135 --> 00:46:27,570
- Off topic...
- Off topic...
1068
00:46:27,637 --> 00:46:29,905
Is that stupid mascot
of yours a woodpecker?
1069
00:46:29,972 --> 00:46:31,273
What is that thing?
1070
00:46:31,340 --> 00:46:34,242
Is that...
That stupid mascot you have,
1071
00:46:34,309 --> 00:46:35,945
is that a woodpecker,
what is that thing?
1072
00:46:37,713 --> 00:46:39,280
- I can't even look.
- Oh, my God.
1073
00:46:39,347 --> 00:46:41,449
- I can't even look.
- It's a hawk.
1074
00:46:41,516 --> 00:46:42,751
I don't know
what you call that bird.
1075
00:46:42,818 --> 00:46:44,353
Yeah? Oh, it looks
like a woodpecker.
1076
00:46:48,724 --> 00:46:49,791
Yeah.
1077
00:46:49,860 --> 00:46:51,494
Tell me a little bit
about yourself.
1078
00:46:51,559 --> 00:46:53,795
Will I be pissing in a cup
for a drug test?
1079
00:46:54,563 --> 00:46:56,599
Do you know, is, um...
1080
00:47:01,871 --> 00:47:03,271
He doesn't want to say it.
1081
00:47:03,338 --> 00:47:05,206
Yeah, I really tanked this one.
1082
00:47:05,273 --> 00:47:07,175
There's no way
I'm going to see Abdul.
1083
00:47:07,242 --> 00:47:10,012
There's no way I'm going
to see Paula Abdul.
1084
00:47:12,547 --> 00:47:13,949
Explain the plot of the movie.
1085
00:47:14,016 --> 00:47:15,418
We're four high school friends.
1086
00:47:15,483 --> 00:47:17,954
So we're on a road trip
for redemption
1087
00:47:18,021 --> 00:47:20,489
for an incident that happened
back in 1990,
1088
00:47:20,556 --> 00:47:22,025
like, coming back
to haunt us now.
1089
00:47:22,092 --> 00:47:24,161
And there's only three tickets
to see Abdul,
1090
00:47:24,226 --> 00:47:26,628
and one of us can't go.
1091
00:47:26,695 --> 00:47:28,831
- Rate our movie.
- The movie's 3 1/2 stars.
1092
00:47:28,898 --> 00:47:30,632
The movie's gonna be
3 1/2 stars.
1093
00:47:32,034 --> 00:47:33,469
This interview is bullshit.
1094
00:47:36,371 --> 00:47:38,206
This interview is bullshit.
1095
00:47:41,077 --> 00:47:43,445
Thank you.
1096
00:47:43,512 --> 00:47:45,213
It's total bullshit.
1097
00:47:46,449 --> 00:47:49,217
It's all for a movie.
1098
00:47:51,021 --> 00:47:52,989
Hey, buddy,
everything look cozy?
1099
00:47:53,056 --> 00:47:54,858
Yep.
What's that?
1100
00:47:54,925 --> 00:47:56,692
That's Chase, you met him
at a Big Brother program.
1101
00:47:56,759 --> 00:47:58,561
Then you lost him, and now
he's your guardian angel
1102
00:47:58,626 --> 00:48:00,963
that looks over you
during all the big events,
1103
00:48:01,030 --> 00:48:02,231
including job interviews.
1104
00:48:02,297 --> 00:48:03,632
- Hey.
- Oh, hey, yeah, yeah.
1105
00:48:03,699 --> 00:48:05,835
How are you?
Very random.
1106
00:48:05,902 --> 00:48:08,838
- That's actually Chase.
- Okay. Great.
1107
00:48:08,905 --> 00:48:10,039
He was my Little Brother,
1108
00:48:10,106 --> 00:48:11,141
in the Little Brother,
Big Brother program.
1109
00:48:11,208 --> 00:48:12,507
Okay.
1110
00:48:12,574 --> 00:48:13,909
He's like my guardian angel,
inspiration.
1111
00:48:13,976 --> 00:48:15,443
He's gonna look over
the interview for me.
1112
00:48:15,510 --> 00:48:16,811
- Oh, I think that's great.
- Thank you.
1113
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:18,447
I was like, did someone
leave anything?
1114
00:48:18,514 --> 00:48:19,514
- Oh, no, what is your name?
- Brandy. Brandy.
1115
00:48:19,581 --> 00:48:20,615
- Brandy.
- Yeah, sorry.
1116
00:48:20,682 --> 00:48:22,085
- Nice to meet you.
- I'm Sal.
1117
00:48:22,152 --> 00:48:23,186
Immediately launch into
why the Earth is flat.
1118
00:48:24,420 --> 00:48:25,521
I like talking to people
1119
00:48:25,588 --> 00:48:26,856
about all different types
of things.
1120
00:48:26,922 --> 00:48:28,257
- Right.
- You know, for example, like,
1121
00:48:28,324 --> 00:48:30,326
no denying it for me that the,
1122
00:48:30,391 --> 00:48:32,094
you know, I believe
the Earth is flat.
1123
00:48:32,161 --> 00:48:33,996
So I like to talk about that.
1124
00:48:34,063 --> 00:48:35,264
Okay. Great.
1125
00:48:36,967 --> 00:48:38,567
How do you feel
about the shape of the Earth?
1126
00:48:38,634 --> 00:48:41,637
What is your opinion
on the shape of the Earth?
1127
00:48:41,704 --> 00:48:43,304
- Um...
- There's the look.
1128
00:48:43,371 --> 00:48:47,210
I mean, I'm pretty literal,
so I'm gonna go with round.
1129
00:48:47,275 --> 00:48:48,677
Yeah, most people
think it's round.
1130
00:48:48,744 --> 00:48:50,646
- Yeah.
- But they'd be wrong.
1131
00:48:52,782 --> 00:48:54,382
They told me to bring
a recommendation,
1132
00:48:54,449 --> 00:48:55,952
- so I brought one.
- They said to bring a rec...
1133
00:48:56,018 --> 00:48:59,222
A recommendation too, and
I also have a recommendation.
1134
00:48:59,288 --> 00:49:00,789
Sal, pull out the iPad there.
1135
00:49:00,856 --> 00:49:02,324
Uh, so here.
1136
00:49:05,327 --> 00:49:06,862
It's Sal's mom, Adele.
1137
00:49:08,463 --> 00:49:11,699
Please hire him.
He'd be a good employee.
1138
00:49:11,766 --> 00:49:14,302
He doesn't steal.
He's a good boy.
1139
00:49:14,369 --> 00:49:16,639
He pays me to clean his house,
1140
00:49:16,704 --> 00:49:18,306
so please, please,
please hire him
1141
00:49:18,373 --> 00:49:20,110
so he can keep paying me.
1142
00:49:21,777 --> 00:49:24,047
Oh, my God.
That's awesome.
1143
00:49:25,215 --> 00:49:27,117
- You good?
- Ah, hell, nah!
1144
00:49:27,184 --> 00:49:30,152
Instead of "Oh, hell, no,"
do the singing version of it.
1145
00:49:35,391 --> 00:49:38,393
- I'm so sorry.
- It's okay.
1146
00:49:38,460 --> 00:49:40,362
- What are you writing?
- What, what are you...
1147
00:49:40,429 --> 00:49:41,563
What are you writing?
1148
00:49:43,431 --> 00:49:45,034
- My notes.
- Oh, great. Perfect.
1149
00:49:47,503 --> 00:49:48,771
Take notes.
1150
00:49:48,838 --> 00:49:50,773
Yeah, Sal,
take notes on her.
1151
00:49:56,512 --> 00:49:59,414
Sal, just go, "Are there
one T or two in 'pretty'?"
1152
00:50:02,117 --> 00:50:03,751
Ah, done!
1153
00:50:03,818 --> 00:50:06,989
- Done, boys.
- Well done.
1154
00:50:08,423 --> 00:50:10,927
Okay, so this is my outfit.
1155
00:50:10,994 --> 00:50:14,197
Yeah, Joey in a breakaway
basketball warmup suit.
1156
00:50:14,264 --> 00:50:15,496
So as soon as the person
comes in,
1157
00:50:15,563 --> 00:50:17,565
you just get ready
for game time.
1158
00:50:19,735 --> 00:50:21,237
- Hey, how are you?
- Good. How are you?
1159
00:50:21,304 --> 00:50:22,704
- Big hug.
- Nice to see you.
1160
00:50:22,771 --> 00:50:24,572
- Emily. Nice to meet you.
- It's nice to meet you.
1161
00:50:24,639 --> 00:50:26,742
- Yeah, I'm ready to do this.
- Oh, here you go.
1162
00:50:26,809 --> 00:50:28,945
- That's amazing.
- Right?
1163
00:50:29,012 --> 00:50:30,045
That is awesome.
1164
00:50:31,882 --> 00:50:33,382
So nice to meet you.
I'm Emily.
1165
00:50:33,449 --> 00:50:34,817
I'm the building
security manager.
1166
00:50:34,885 --> 00:50:36,318
- Building security manager?
- Yes, sir, so...
1167
00:50:36,385 --> 00:50:37,320
And what was your name again?
I'm sorry.
1168
00:50:37,385 --> 00:50:39,021
Emily. Yes, sir.
1169
00:50:39,088 --> 00:50:41,090
I'm gonna let you get started
other than that amazing intro.
1170
00:50:41,157 --> 00:50:42,757
- Oh, thank you.
- Joe, where are you from?
1171
00:50:42,824 --> 00:50:44,126
Tell me a little bit
about yourself.
1172
00:50:44,193 --> 00:50:45,362
Nah, nah.
1173
00:50:45,427 --> 00:50:47,429
Nah, I didn't want to...
1174
00:50:47,496 --> 00:50:48,797
I didn't really want
to get into that.
1175
00:50:50,565 --> 00:50:52,369
What's that?
Which part.
1176
00:50:52,434 --> 00:50:54,570
My past.
My shadowy past.
1177
00:50:54,637 --> 00:50:56,940
My shadowy past.
I didn't really want to start...
1178
00:50:58,706 --> 00:51:00,277
Keep saying "off the record."
1179
00:51:00,342 --> 00:51:01,677
- Off the record...
- Mmm-hmm.
1180
00:51:01,744 --> 00:51:03,914
I negotiated prices
for, like, bulk supplies.
1181
00:51:03,980 --> 00:51:05,547
- Mmm-hmm.
- I would let them in
1182
00:51:05,614 --> 00:51:07,083
on the, to the side.
1183
00:51:07,150 --> 00:51:08,952
Joe, she's writing this down.
It's off the record.
1184
00:51:09,018 --> 00:51:10,719
Yeah,
but this is all off the...
1185
00:51:10,786 --> 00:51:12,389
- This is all off the record.
- No, no, you're fine.
1186
00:51:12,454 --> 00:51:13,521
I'm just talking about your
extension of knowledge with...
1187
00:51:13,588 --> 00:51:14,958
Got it, got it.
1188
00:51:15,025 --> 00:51:16,393
Um, what else can I tell you
off the record?
1189
00:51:16,458 --> 00:51:18,193
Joe, have a roving finger.
1190
00:51:18,260 --> 00:51:20,096
There was one time
when a whole crew was in here,
1191
00:51:20,163 --> 00:51:21,898
and they had to actually be on
the other side of the campus,
1192
00:51:21,965 --> 00:51:23,867
but the middle was closed,
so I couldn't get them through.
1193
00:51:23,934 --> 00:51:25,434
We had to actually
go around the whole thing.
1194
00:51:25,501 --> 00:51:26,668
- But off the record.
- Off the record, Monica.
1195
00:51:26,735 --> 00:51:27,568
Off the record,
we went through
1196
00:51:27,635 --> 00:51:28,871
the closed road, Monica.
1197
00:51:28,938 --> 00:51:30,505
Here comes
the moving finger.
1198
00:51:30,572 --> 00:51:31,739
And, you know, there was
a lot of teams up here,
1199
00:51:31,806 --> 00:51:32,876
and then
we brought it down south.
1200
00:51:32,943 --> 00:51:34,610
You know,
you connect everybody,
1201
00:51:34,677 --> 00:51:36,612
and they all have their
own conferences and stuff,
1202
00:51:36,679 --> 00:51:38,280
but, uh, I have stopped...
1203
00:51:38,347 --> 00:51:40,648
Excuse yourself for one quick
moment to go to the bathroom
1204
00:51:40,715 --> 00:51:42,518
and then go downstairs
and play basketball.
1205
00:51:42,583 --> 00:51:44,820
Um, I need to use
the restroom real quick.
1206
00:51:44,887 --> 00:51:46,255
- I'm sorry.
- Yeah, sure, no worries.
1207
00:51:46,322 --> 00:51:47,990
- I'll be right back.
- Yeah.
1208
00:51:48,992 --> 00:51:50,092
I'll be right back.
I'm sorry.
1209
00:51:50,159 --> 00:51:51,760
- Yeah, okay.
- Thanks.
1210
00:51:53,228 --> 00:51:55,898
Look at her face!
1211
00:52:01,503 --> 00:52:03,639
- This is gonna be amazing.
- Her face is...
1212
00:52:15,650 --> 00:52:16,885
Almost.
1213
00:52:16,952 --> 00:52:19,188
Joey, uh, security
really sucks around here.
1214
00:52:20,923 --> 00:52:22,958
- You good?
- Yeah, security really sucks.
1215
00:52:23,025 --> 00:52:25,061
I was able just to go down
there and shoot hoops.
1216
00:52:31,632 --> 00:52:33,601
- Yeah.
- So security's an issue.
1217
00:52:34,137 --> 00:52:35,038
Yeah.
1218
00:52:35,105 --> 00:52:37,273
Security's an issue.
1219
00:52:37,340 --> 00:52:40,210
All right, well, do you have
any further questions for me?
1220
00:52:40,275 --> 00:52:42,777
Tell her you'll be in touch
and she did great.
1221
00:52:42,844 --> 00:52:44,014
And, uh, that's it.
Yeah, thank you so much.
1222
00:52:44,079 --> 00:52:46,748
You did great.
We'll be in touch.
1223
00:52:46,815 --> 00:52:48,150
I'll get Jakim to, uh...
1224
00:52:48,217 --> 00:52:50,585
Hey, appreciate it.
Yeah, we'll let you know.
1225
00:52:51,954 --> 00:52:53,422
Possibly.
Maybe we'll hire her.
1226
00:52:55,291 --> 00:52:56,425
Maybe we'll hire her.
1227
00:52:56,492 --> 00:52:57,360
I'm not sure
if we'll hire her.
1228
00:53:03,599 --> 00:53:05,101
- A left right here?
- Go.
1229
00:53:05,168 --> 00:53:07,103
Yeah, baby, yeah!
1230
00:53:07,170 --> 00:53:09,570
Disgusting loading dock.
Nice, guys.
1231
00:53:13,909 --> 00:53:15,878
Now do you want to tell me
why we're here?
1232
00:53:15,945 --> 00:53:17,246
We're just gonna pop into
1233
00:53:17,313 --> 00:53:18,713
this social media convention
real quick.
1234
00:53:18,780 --> 00:53:20,849
- Uh-huh.
- Here's your credentials.
1235
00:53:20,916 --> 00:53:22,452
We're having fun with you today
at your expense.
1236
00:53:22,518 --> 00:53:24,920
Hey, bud, uh, you're, uh...
You're on in ten minutes.
1237
00:53:26,222 --> 00:53:28,324
You're terrible
at social networking, so...
1238
00:53:32,228 --> 00:53:33,329
Give it up one more time
1239
00:53:33,396 --> 00:53:35,065
for your When Brands
Take a Stand panel.
1240
00:53:37,467 --> 00:53:39,302
So we are at
the Social Shake-Up,
1241
00:53:39,369 --> 00:53:42,737
which is a tremendous
social media conference here,
1242
00:53:42,804 --> 00:53:45,074
and Q is about to go up
and give a presentation.
1243
00:53:45,141 --> 00:53:46,708
- Yeah.
- We wrote the presentation.
1244
00:53:46,775 --> 00:53:48,643
He's never seen a single
one of these slides.
1245
00:53:48,710 --> 00:53:50,079
There's 600 people here,
1246
00:53:50,146 --> 00:53:52,047
which is a little more
than we usually have.
1247
00:53:52,114 --> 00:53:53,282
A little more?
1248
00:53:53,349 --> 00:53:57,086
We do have a last-minute
addition to the roster.
1249
00:53:57,152 --> 00:53:59,856
We have a new speaker
coming up.
1250
00:53:59,922 --> 00:54:01,757
We have been trying
to do this for years.
1251
00:54:01,824 --> 00:54:04,994
Please welcome to the stage
Peter Foaks.
1252
00:54:06,528 --> 00:54:07,628
Peter Foaks.
1253
00:54:12,402 --> 00:54:13,802
Good morning, everybody.
1254
00:54:13,869 --> 00:54:15,704
Very excited to be here.
Thank you for having me.
1255
00:54:15,771 --> 00:54:16,972
My name is Peter Foaks.
1256
00:54:17,039 --> 00:54:18,541
They brought me here
'cause I'm...
1257
00:54:18,639 --> 00:54:20,976
really been doing well
as a social media influencer,
1258
00:54:21,043 --> 00:54:23,744
so why don't we get started.
1259
00:54:23,811 --> 00:54:26,681
How to Become
a Social Media Influencer,
1260
00:54:26,748 --> 00:54:29,717
or as my dad calls it,
"not have a real job."
1261
00:54:31,619 --> 00:54:33,956
So here we go.
1262
00:54:34,023 --> 00:54:36,192
His world after this
is gonna change.
1263
00:54:36,259 --> 00:54:38,460
We may not be friends
after this moment.
1264
00:54:38,527 --> 00:54:40,063
I recently interviewed
1265
00:54:40,130 --> 00:54:41,965
social media influencer
Franz Goldberg.
1266
00:54:42,030 --> 00:54:44,099
Do you guys know who that is?
1267
00:54:44,166 --> 00:54:45,969
Ah, you're gonna love this.
Okay.
1268
00:54:46,034 --> 00:54:47,702
Hi, my name
is Franz Goldberg,
1269
00:54:47,768 --> 00:54:50,039
and I'm what you would call
a social media influencer.
1270
00:54:50,106 --> 00:54:52,208
My major platform is YouTube.
1271
00:54:52,275 --> 00:54:54,010
Advertisers want to...
1272
00:54:54,077 --> 00:54:56,311
...and I can provide them...
1273
00:54:56,378 --> 00:54:58,447
It's interrupting.
1274
00:55:01,682 --> 00:55:03,552
Did somebody call a plumber?
1275
00:55:03,619 --> 00:55:06,688
Yes.
I need my pipes cleaned.
1276
00:55:09,992 --> 00:55:11,726
That's Q's parents!
1277
00:55:11,793 --> 00:55:13,195
That's Q's real parents.
1278
00:55:13,262 --> 00:55:16,532
- I can help with that.
- Oh, goody.
1279
00:55:16,599 --> 00:55:17,567
Come this way.
1280
00:55:17,634 --> 00:55:18,666
Oh, yeah.
1281
00:55:18,733 --> 00:55:20,436
Good pipes.
Oh.
1282
00:55:20,503 --> 00:55:22,438
Oh, yes.
1283
00:55:22,505 --> 00:55:24,840
...place them
at the end of my video.
1284
00:55:24,907 --> 00:55:27,210
I like to place them inside...
1285
00:55:33,483 --> 00:55:36,518
I must have recorded
over an old tape on that one.
1286
00:55:39,655 --> 00:55:41,224
Also, um...
1287
00:55:41,291 --> 00:55:44,393
you probably shouldn't use
tapes in the modern era,
1288
00:55:44,460 --> 00:55:46,596
'cause of accidents like that.
1289
00:55:46,663 --> 00:55:48,931
You know, digital...
digital...
1290
00:55:48,998 --> 00:55:51,201
I would say digital
is the way to go.
1291
00:55:51,266 --> 00:55:53,570
He can't even speak.
1292
00:55:53,635 --> 00:55:55,804
His mind is blown.
1293
00:55:55,871 --> 00:56:00,210
Okay, well, look,
identify the major brands
1294
00:56:01,476 --> 00:56:03,179
that fit with your brands.
1295
00:56:03,246 --> 00:56:05,882
You know, stay on brand
is basically what I'm saying.
1296
00:56:05,949 --> 00:56:08,083
Uh, oh, no.
1297
00:56:09,585 --> 00:56:12,121
Oh, I hope this one doesn't
get interrupted, buddy.
1298
00:56:12,188 --> 00:56:14,324
Well, why don't
we give a listen
1299
00:56:14,389 --> 00:56:17,427
to what Franz Goldberg
has to say about brands.
1300
00:56:17,492 --> 00:56:18,894
Oh.
1301
00:56:18,961 --> 00:56:20,262
You think they would have
just brought Franz here,
1302
00:56:20,329 --> 00:56:22,898
but no, we got tape.
1303
00:56:22,965 --> 00:56:24,601
My audience likes
that I'm real.
1304
00:56:24,666 --> 00:56:27,170
- They don't want to be fed...
- It's just gonna go right...
1305
00:56:27,237 --> 00:56:29,539
Oh, this is funny.
There... There's Dad.
1306
00:56:30,739 --> 00:56:33,175
Well, hello there.
1307
00:56:33,242 --> 00:56:35,644
May I help you?
1308
00:56:35,711 --> 00:56:37,614
I'm here to plant some seed.
1309
00:56:39,248 --> 00:56:41,817
He's a gardener.
You can tell by his hat.
1310
00:56:41,884 --> 00:56:44,387
Let me show you
where you can plant it.
1311
00:56:44,454 --> 00:56:46,556
Yes, come on.
1312
00:56:46,623 --> 00:56:48,358
That bush needs trimming.
1313
00:56:52,128 --> 00:56:53,862
My dad had
a lot of side jobs.
1314
00:56:53,929 --> 00:56:56,797
- So did your mom.
- So did your mom, apparently.
1315
00:56:57,766 --> 00:56:59,469
So did my mom, apparently.
1316
00:57:02,005 --> 00:57:03,438
Are there any questions?
1317
00:57:05,208 --> 00:57:06,409
No?
No questions.
1318
00:57:06,476 --> 00:57:07,909
I-I didn't think so.
1319
00:57:07,976 --> 00:57:09,978
All right, well, I have
a few questions myself.
1320
00:57:12,315 --> 00:57:13,615
- Thank you.
- Well done, buddy.
1321
00:57:13,682 --> 00:57:15,018
Well done.
1322
00:57:15,083 --> 00:57:16,985
- Come on, come on, come on.
- Bring it in.
1323
00:57:17,052 --> 00:57:19,889
Hey, Brian.
Dad's on his way.
1324
00:57:19,956 --> 00:57:22,025
- How did it go?
- How did it go?
1325
00:57:22,090 --> 00:57:23,659
- Brian.
- Yeah.
1326
00:57:23,726 --> 00:57:26,262
I didn't know who was
gonna be more embarrassed.
1327
00:57:26,329 --> 00:57:27,929
- You or us.
- Well, I'll tell you what.
1328
00:57:27,996 --> 00:57:29,565
It didn't look like
you guys were embarrassed.
1329
00:57:29,632 --> 00:57:31,534
Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Quinn,
I'll be by next week
1330
00:57:31,601 --> 00:57:32,635
to film the sequel, okay?
1331
00:57:32,702 --> 00:57:34,202
All right, get out of here.
1332
00:57:34,269 --> 00:57:36,804
Don't answer the phone
when they call anymore, okay?
1333
00:57:36,873 --> 00:57:38,141
All right, love you, Ma.
I love you, Dad.
1334
00:57:38,206 --> 00:57:39,509
I'll talk to you guys
in a little bit.
1335
00:57:46,014 --> 00:57:48,650
All right, here it is.
1336
00:57:48,717 --> 00:57:50,385
Oh, yeah.
1337
00:57:50,452 --> 00:57:52,355
- There's an event going on.
- What is it?
1338
00:57:52,422 --> 00:57:54,523
- Right now, what is it?
- Okay.
1339
00:57:54,590 --> 00:57:57,159
- Sally, one of your closest friends
is in town tonight. - Yeah.
1340
00:57:57,226 --> 00:57:58,594
Jaden Smith has
a movie premiere.
1341
00:57:58,661 --> 00:58:00,396
Stop it.
1342
00:58:00,463 --> 00:58:02,331
All right, Sal, so now
you're Jaden's number one fan,
1343
00:58:02,398 --> 00:58:03,932
and all you gotta do
is just walk around
1344
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:05,068
and let people know it.
1345
00:58:05,134 --> 00:58:07,402
All right, where's our boy?
1346
00:58:07,469 --> 00:58:08,637
I feel like an idiot.
1347
00:58:08,704 --> 00:58:10,907
Let me see
that tattoo, buddy.
1348
00:58:10,972 --> 00:58:12,342
Hi, can I take a picture
of your tattoo?
1349
00:58:12,407 --> 00:58:14,210
- Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.
- Nice shorts.
1350
00:58:14,277 --> 00:58:16,813
- I'm just his number one fan.
- Honestly, I see it.
1351
00:58:16,878 --> 00:58:18,447
I really see it.
1352
00:58:18,514 --> 00:58:20,550
Guys, now do you see
what I had envisioned
1353
00:58:20,615 --> 00:58:22,085
so many seasons ago?
1354
00:58:22,150 --> 00:58:23,318
All right, Sal, you're up.
1355
00:58:23,385 --> 00:58:24,619
Three, two, one.
1356
00:58:30,760 --> 00:58:31,927
Look!
1357
00:58:31,994 --> 00:58:33,762
Jaden Smith, number one fan.
1358
00:58:33,829 --> 00:58:35,697
I'm his number one fan.
1359
00:58:35,764 --> 00:58:37,632
Act like
his number one fan, buddy!
1360
00:58:37,699 --> 00:58:38,934
I'm his number one fan.
1361
00:58:39,001 --> 00:58:40,168
You think
you're Jaden's number one fan?
1362
00:58:40,235 --> 00:58:41,637
- Yeah, I do.
- You got this shirt?
1363
00:58:41,704 --> 00:58:43,106
- I wish I had the shirt.
- You got the tat, though?
1364
00:58:43,172 --> 00:58:44,574
- Let's do, oh.
- Come on.
1365
00:58:46,476 --> 00:58:48,911
- You know Jaden's blood type?
- There you go.
1366
00:58:48,978 --> 00:58:50,813
- Wrong!
- What is it?
1367
00:58:50,880 --> 00:58:52,114
- A-negative.
- Yeah, right.
1368
00:58:52,181 --> 00:58:53,449
Yeah, it is.
1369
00:58:53,516 --> 00:58:55,751
Sal, I need a little bit
more crazy eyes.
1370
00:58:58,353 --> 00:59:00,188
- Has anybody seen him?
- Can I see your tattoo?
1371
00:59:00,255 --> 00:59:01,690
I gotta meet him.
I gotta meet him.
1372
00:59:01,757 --> 00:59:03,259
Yo, pal, do you know
when the Q&A is with Jaden?
1373
00:59:03,326 --> 00:59:04,827
Do you know when the Q&A is?
1374
00:59:06,228 --> 00:59:07,764
It's just wait and hold.
1375
00:59:07,829 --> 00:59:09,164
Wait and hold?
1376
00:59:09,231 --> 00:59:10,532
- Do you know where Jaden is?
- What?
1377
00:59:10,599 --> 00:59:12,034
- Do you know where Jaden is?
- I don't.
1378
00:59:12,101 --> 00:59:13,001
- I'm so sorry.
- You're no help to me.
1379
00:59:15,570 --> 00:59:18,608
Jaden's movie has now ended,
and there's a Q&A afterward.
1380
00:59:18,673 --> 00:59:20,710
- This is awesome.
- There he is.
1381
00:59:20,777 --> 00:59:23,079
There's Jaden.
1382
00:59:23,146 --> 00:59:25,847
Before we do that,
I just wanted to start off...
1383
00:59:25,914 --> 00:59:28,518
Um...
1384
00:59:28,583 --> 00:59:29,518
Hop up, Sal.
1385
00:59:30,887 --> 00:59:32,487
So I have
a million questions,
1386
00:59:32,554 --> 00:59:34,858
but do we have some questions
out here from the audience?
1387
00:59:34,923 --> 00:59:36,125
Come on, buddy.
Get into it.
1388
00:59:36,192 --> 00:59:37,894
- Oh! Oh!
- Do we have a really good one?
1389
00:59:37,960 --> 00:59:39,128
So we have a question
right over here.
1390
00:59:39,195 --> 00:59:41,297
Oh, yes!
Yes!
1391
00:59:41,831 --> 00:59:42,998
Whoo!
1392
00:59:45,201 --> 00:59:47,036
I'm just the number one
Jaden Smith fan.
1393
00:59:47,103 --> 00:59:49,539
I'm just Jaden's
number one fan.
1394
00:59:49,605 --> 00:59:50,539
Can we hug?
1395
00:59:50,606 --> 00:59:52,175
Why don't you just
come on up here?
1396
00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:53,409
Can I .really?
Oh, thank you guys so much!@
1397
00:59:53,476 --> 00:59:55,244
- Would you guys mind?
- Come on up!
1398
00:59:55,311 --> 00:59:56,813
- Thank you, thank you.
- What Sal doesn't know
1399
00:59:56,880 --> 00:59:58,780
is that Jaden is in cahoots
with us this whole time
1400
00:59:58,847 --> 01:00:00,851
- Yes.
- Oh, look at those shorts.
1401
01:00:00,918 --> 01:00:04,686
Wow, wow.
Come on over.
1402
01:00:04,753 --> 01:00:06,655
Come on over.
Wow.
1403
01:00:06,722 --> 01:00:08,423
Thanks for coming out.
1404
01:00:08,490 --> 01:00:10,393
Oh, cool.
This is very cool.
1405
01:00:10,460 --> 01:00:13,528
Thank you so much.
Ah, bam!
1406
01:00:13,596 --> 01:00:15,097
Wow.
1407
01:00:15,164 --> 01:00:17,032
Are you serious?
1408
01:00:17,099 --> 01:00:18,869
- That is...
- Oh, my God, ah!
1409
01:00:18,936 --> 01:00:20,769
- Are you serious?
- Ah!
1410
01:00:20,836 --> 01:00:22,371
Are you serious?
1411
01:00:22,438 --> 01:00:23,940
I got this a few years ago.
1412
01:00:24,005 --> 01:00:25,373
Been waiting to show it to you.
1413
01:00:25,440 --> 01:00:27,342
I just feel like
I look a lot different.
1414
01:00:27,409 --> 01:00:29,478
Maybe we could
get it, like, redone.
1415
01:00:29,545 --> 01:00:31,780
Sal, just say, "Well, I do
have this other thigh."
1416
01:00:31,847 --> 01:00:34,217
Revamped. Something.
1417
01:00:34,282 --> 01:00:35,184
- There you go, Sal.
- Just 'cause it's old.
1418
01:00:35,251 --> 01:00:36,585
It's just old.
1419
01:00:36,652 --> 01:00:39,521
You know, I feel like
if it was newer...
1420
01:00:40,422 --> 01:00:41,190
I...
1421
01:00:41,257 --> 01:00:42,757
I do have this other thigh.
1422
01:00:42,824 --> 01:00:44,360
I could get an updated one...
1423
01:00:46,896 --> 01:00:49,097
You need anything, buddy?
1424
01:00:50,298 --> 01:00:53,034
- I'm good, I guess.
- Not you.
1425
01:00:53,101 --> 01:00:55,103
Yes, I'm fine, Joe.
Thank you.
1426
01:00:57,572 --> 01:00:59,108
That's it,
I think we're done.
1427
01:00:59,175 --> 01:01:00,376
Yeah!
1428
01:01:00,443 --> 01:01:03,012
We did it!
We did it!
1429
01:01:03,079 --> 01:01:05,146
- Oh!
- Oh, I gotta see this!
1430
01:01:05,213 --> 01:01:06,181
Are you ready
to meet yourself?
1431
01:01:06,248 --> 01:01:08,918
- Hold on.
- Three, two, one!
1432
01:01:08,985 --> 01:01:12,288
Oh, my God!
1433
01:01:13,688 --> 01:01:14,858
Whoa!
1434
01:01:14,925 --> 01:01:16,626
That might be the best
tattoo I've ever seen.
1435
01:01:16,692 --> 01:01:18,793
This is definitely better
than the last one.
1436
01:01:20,429 --> 01:01:22,498
My guy.
My guy.
1437
01:01:22,565 --> 01:01:24,666
Jaden, we'll see you
in five years?
1438
01:01:24,733 --> 01:01:26,936
Oh, yeah.
1439
01:01:27,003 --> 01:01:28,436
Hopefully before then.
1440
01:01:41,182 --> 01:01:43,418
I know.
It's just like Ibiza.
1441
01:01:43,485 --> 01:01:44,719
Hey, bud.
What's up?
1442
01:01:46,755 --> 01:01:48,324
Is that the Molly?
1443
01:01:48,391 --> 01:01:50,259
It's not the Molly.
1444
01:01:50,326 --> 01:01:51,760
DJ, bring down the beat.
1445
01:01:53,128 --> 01:01:55,597
Uh, what is this shit?
1446
01:01:55,664 --> 01:01:56,766
What's that, bud?
1447
01:01:58,166 --> 01:02:00,369
Hey, hey, hey!
Here we go!
1448
01:02:00,436 --> 01:02:02,338
Now it's a party!
Later, Q.
1449
01:02:02,972 --> 01:02:04,306
Okay.
1450
01:02:04,373 --> 01:02:05,641
Yep, all right.
1451
01:02:05,708 --> 01:02:07,208
So that's what
he does at night, okay.
1452
01:02:34,036 --> 01:02:35,503
Good boy.
1453
01:02:35,570 --> 01:02:37,873
Did you get the toys I sent?
1454
01:02:38,740 --> 01:02:39,742
Okay.
1455
01:02:39,809 --> 01:02:41,409
Oh, oh, Benjamin?
1456
01:02:41,476 --> 01:02:44,280
Okay, don't,
don't hang up, don't hang up!
1457
01:02:46,916 --> 01:02:48,050
He hung up.
1458
01:02:48,117 --> 01:02:50,086
Well, Brian Quinn
misses his cats.
1459
01:02:50,152 --> 01:02:51,554
Your cats.
I miss my family.
1460
01:02:51,621 --> 01:02:53,188
You know my daughter McKayla?
1461
01:02:53,255 --> 01:02:54,389
She rode her bike
for the first time yesterday.
1462
01:02:54,456 --> 01:02:55,824
- Hmm.
- Wasn't there.
1463
01:02:58,360 --> 01:03:00,563
- Milana?
- Who's that?
1464
01:03:00,630 --> 01:03:03,065
Your daughter.
1465
01:03:03,132 --> 01:03:04,432
Her name's Milana.
1466
01:03:05,869 --> 01:03:07,369
Sweet Jesus.
How long have we been gone?
1467
01:03:07,436 --> 01:03:09,572
- Three days.
- What are we doing?
1468
01:03:09,639 --> 01:03:11,306
All right,
we're four grown men.
1469
01:03:11,373 --> 01:03:12,842
We're out here jacking around,
1470
01:03:12,909 --> 01:03:14,443
trying to fix a mistake
we made when we were kids.
1471
01:03:14,510 --> 01:03:16,646
- It's stupid.
- Yeah, you know what?
1472
01:03:16,711 --> 01:03:18,581
Maybe we didn't think
this one all the way through.
1473
01:03:18,648 --> 01:03:20,516
I've been getting
phone numbers, girls.
1474
01:03:20,583 --> 01:03:22,318
Local girls
that want to meet me.
1475
01:03:22,385 --> 01:03:23,284
But if you guys want to leave
and go home,
1476
01:03:23,351 --> 01:03:24,420
I'm ready to go now.
1477
01:03:24,487 --> 01:03:26,389
- Yeah, yeah, me too.
- I'll go.
1478
01:03:26,454 --> 01:03:27,789
Yeah, I gotta get back to
what's-her-face, come on.
1479
01:03:27,858 --> 01:03:29,960
- All right.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
1480
01:03:30,027 --> 01:03:31,094
We're almost there.
1481
01:03:31,159 --> 01:03:32,963
Sal, come on.
Going home, bud.
1482
01:03:33,030 --> 01:03:33,963
- Come on, bud.
- No!
1483
01:03:35,431 --> 01:03:37,699
We're not going anywhere!
1484
01:03:37,766 --> 01:03:39,534
Sal, what are you doing?
1485
01:03:41,469 --> 01:03:43,005
We're gonna finish
what we started.
1486
01:03:43,072 --> 01:03:44,639
He's gone loco.
1487
01:03:44,706 --> 01:03:48,110
I didn't come here all this
way to turn around, to quit!
1488
01:03:48,177 --> 01:03:50,445
I'm not gonna go back home to
Staten Island so they can say,
1489
01:03:50,512 --> 01:03:52,882
"You know that great guy,
Sal Vulcano
1490
01:03:52,949 --> 01:03:55,518
and his friends that he has,
they turned around.
1491
01:03:55,583 --> 01:03:59,521
They went all the way down
to Georgia."
1492
01:04:00,856 --> 01:04:01,958
Not today, babies!
1493
01:04:04,592 --> 01:04:06,795
- Oh.
- I did it.
1494
01:04:08,463 --> 01:04:10,231
Shut the fuck up.
1495
01:04:10,298 --> 01:04:11,599
It's fine, all right?
We'll stay.
1496
01:04:11,666 --> 01:04:13,402
We'll keep going.
Whatever you need, buddy.
1497
01:04:13,469 --> 01:04:15,072
We were just tired,
got a little homesick.
1498
01:04:15,137 --> 01:04:16,873
Yeah.
Put the board down.
1499
01:04:18,574 --> 01:04:20,842
Okay, great, 'cause as long
as we come to an agreement,
1500
01:04:20,911 --> 01:04:22,277
'cause I just want
to see Abdul.
1501
01:04:22,344 --> 01:04:23,846
- Communicate.
- Thank you guys.
1502
01:04:23,914 --> 01:04:25,213
All you had to do is say
let's keep going, we'll go.
1503
01:04:25,280 --> 01:04:26,782
- I get emotional.
- We'll do it.
1504
01:04:26,849 --> 01:04:28,918
You weren't really gonna
hit us with that, were you?
1505
01:04:28,985 --> 01:04:30,152
For me, it's unclear.
1506
01:04:37,592 --> 01:04:39,963
I think this car breaks down
on the side of most roads,
1507
01:04:40,030 --> 01:04:41,496
people are gonna stop and help.
1508
01:04:41,563 --> 01:04:43,065
- I agree.
- Yeah, I think so.
1509
01:04:43,132 --> 01:04:44,666
I think they will
stop to help,
1510
01:04:44,733 --> 01:04:46,969
but the question is, how long
will they stick around?
1511
01:04:47,036 --> 01:04:49,905
- Until, until it gets weird.
- Until it gets weird.
1512
01:04:49,972 --> 01:04:51,806
How weird should we make it,
is the real question.
1513
01:04:51,875 --> 01:04:54,443
- Guys, did we just make plans?
- I think we did.
1514
01:04:54,510 --> 01:04:56,244
Pull over.
1515
01:04:56,311 --> 01:04:58,380
- We got some work to do.
- You got it.
1516
01:05:00,548 --> 01:05:02,351
Park it right here.
Let's do it.
1517
01:05:06,989 --> 01:05:08,757
- All right, here we go.
- Here we go.
1518
01:05:08,824 --> 01:05:10,458
Sal, you broke down,
unfortunately, buddy.
1519
01:05:10,525 --> 01:05:12,094
Your object is to get people
to stop you to help you.
1520
01:05:12,161 --> 01:05:14,496
Otherwise you're gonna be
standing down on the grass
1521
01:05:14,563 --> 01:05:16,867
next to a car
getting bit by mosquitoes.
1522
01:05:16,932 --> 01:05:19,367
All right, well,
the quickest way to do this
1523
01:05:19,434 --> 01:05:20,903
is to just
make them stop, right?
1524
01:05:20,971 --> 01:05:23,172
I'm proud of you, buddy.
You're taking some initiative.
1525
01:05:23,239 --> 01:05:24,739
Whoo!
1526
01:05:25,641 --> 01:05:28,309
She's, uh, she's dead.
1527
01:05:28,376 --> 01:05:29,844
Whoo.
1528
01:05:29,913 --> 01:05:32,581
She went down
a couple miles back.
1529
01:05:36,152 --> 01:05:37,619
Hey, how you doing, man?
1530
01:05:37,686 --> 01:05:40,422
It's two guys, and I think
they might want to kill me.
1531
01:05:40,489 --> 01:05:41,690
Here we go.
1532
01:05:41,757 --> 01:05:43,492
Can't do no harm, no foul.
Bill.
1533
01:05:43,559 --> 01:05:44,860
Hey, how you doing, Bill?
Sal.
1534
01:05:44,927 --> 01:05:46,528
Yeah, my name's Sal.
1535
01:05:46,594 --> 01:05:47,963
- What's your name?
- Mark.
1536
01:05:48,030 --> 01:05:49,431
Usually when something
goes wrong,
1537
01:05:49,498 --> 01:05:50,800
I just blast something
up the tailpipe.
1538
01:05:53,601 --> 01:05:54,769
Usually something goes wrong,
I just
1539
01:05:54,836 --> 01:05:56,273
blast something
up the tailpipe.
1540
01:05:56,338 --> 01:05:57,773
Up the tailpipe?
1541
01:05:57,840 --> 01:05:59,507
Well, I mean,
first rule of thumb, right?
1542
01:05:59,574 --> 01:06:00,809
You get broke down,
you gotta blast something
1543
01:06:00,876 --> 01:06:02,344
right up the tailpipe,
and I was gonna
1544
01:06:02,411 --> 01:06:03,612
blast something,
but I don't have nothing.
1545
01:06:03,679 --> 01:06:04,981
That's what I thought you did.
1546
01:06:05,047 --> 01:06:06,282
- No, no.
- No.
1547
01:06:08,650 --> 01:06:10,585
Guys, why isn't
this fixed yet?
1548
01:06:10,652 --> 01:06:13,190
Yeah, Sal...
1549
01:06:13,255 --> 01:06:14,690
I don't know,
I don't even...
1550
01:06:14,757 --> 01:06:16,025
I wish I knew more
about the thing.
1551
01:06:16,092 --> 01:06:17,793
Well, what's the issue?
It's, I mean...
1552
01:06:17,860 --> 01:06:19,128
I mean, you can't fix it
already or what's going on?
1553
01:06:19,195 --> 01:06:20,628
We don't know
what it's doing.
1554
01:06:20,695 --> 01:06:22,498
I mean, you know,
guys, you've been here
1555
01:06:22,565 --> 01:06:24,266
a couple minutes already, guys.
1556
01:06:24,333 --> 01:06:25,800
Tick-tock, Bill.
1557
01:06:25,869 --> 01:06:27,269
This is really nice of
you guys, 'cause, you know,
1558
01:06:27,335 --> 01:06:28,737
I never would've stopped
for you guys.
1559
01:06:31,273 --> 01:06:33,442
I mean, I gotta be honest,
you fellas are top-notch.
1560
01:06:33,509 --> 01:06:34,610
It's...
1561
01:06:34,677 --> 01:06:36,012
Sal, you gonna say
that line or no?
1562
01:06:36,079 --> 01:06:37,847
Here we go, oh.
1563
01:06:37,914 --> 01:06:40,083
I wouldn't have stopped for you
guys, so that's really nice.
1564
01:06:41,449 --> 01:06:42,853
There wouldn't be no use
to stopping.
1565
01:06:42,918 --> 01:06:44,652
Yeah, right, right,
right, right, right.
1566
01:06:44,719 --> 01:06:46,856
The only thing I could suggest
if you guys were stuck,
1567
01:06:46,922 --> 01:06:48,858
you could blast something
up your tailpipe, though.
1568
01:06:50,059 --> 01:06:51,760
All right, bud,
head around to the trunk.
1569
01:06:51,827 --> 01:06:53,661
We've hidden something
in there for him.
1570
01:06:53,728 --> 01:06:55,764
I think I got something here.
Let me see.
1571
01:07:01,670 --> 01:07:03,172
What the hell is that?
1572
01:07:03,239 --> 01:07:04,739
Okay.
1573
01:07:08,677 --> 01:07:10,246
Yeah, there's no string...
1574
01:07:10,313 --> 01:07:11,780
So, Sal, in the backseat,
1575
01:07:11,847 --> 01:07:12,916
we put a check
for good Samaritans.
1576
01:07:12,983 --> 01:07:15,384
This is, guys...
Mark, Bill...
1577
01:07:15,451 --> 01:07:16,920
This is the check
1578
01:07:18,088 --> 01:07:21,123
for good Samaritans
who stopped
1579
01:07:21,190 --> 01:07:22,724
and pulled over to help me.
1580
01:07:22,791 --> 01:07:24,760
This is a check for 5...
1581
01:07:24,827 --> 01:07:27,097
Take that, Mark, go ahead.
1582
01:07:28,463 --> 01:07:29,697
Hello.
1583
01:07:29,764 --> 01:07:32,168
Mark's still rocking a flip.
1584
01:07:32,235 --> 01:07:34,938
You took the call right in the
middle of the check ceremony.
1585
01:07:35,005 --> 01:07:36,538
So anyway, guys, this is
1586
01:07:36,605 --> 01:07:38,141
from the Staten Island
Credit Union,
1587
01:07:38,208 --> 01:07:39,775
this is a Good Samaritan check
1588
01:07:39,842 --> 01:07:41,311
for $5,000
1589
01:07:41,378 --> 01:07:42,744
for helping people in need.
1590
01:07:42,811 --> 01:07:44,047
- Ain't legal tender.
- Try to rip it.
1591
01:07:44,114 --> 01:07:45,614
You don't want it?
'Cause I'll...
1592
01:07:45,681 --> 01:07:47,682
Yeah, yeah, don't tear that,
don't tear that.
1593
01:07:47,750 --> 01:07:49,550
Oh.
1594
01:07:49,617 --> 01:07:51,086
Thank you.
Bill, that's for you, man.
1595
01:07:55,391 --> 01:07:56,692
Murr,
you're walking funny.
1596
01:07:56,759 --> 01:07:58,094
Yeah, no kidding
I'm walking funny, Joe.
1597
01:07:58,161 --> 01:07:59,561
Is it because of that thong
we put on you?
1598
01:07:59,628 --> 01:08:00,829
What thong?
This thong?
1599
01:08:00,896 --> 01:08:02,664
There it is.
1600
01:08:03,333 --> 01:08:04,699
Dude, thank you.
1601
01:08:04,766 --> 01:08:06,402
What's your name, bud?
What is it? I'm sorry.
1602
01:08:06,467 --> 01:08:07,670
- Dennis.
- Dennis, I'm James.
1603
01:08:07,735 --> 01:08:09,005
I appreciate
you stopping, Denise.
1604
01:08:09,072 --> 01:08:10,838
I appreciate you stopping...
1605
01:08:12,876 --> 01:08:14,476
I appreciate you
stopping, Denise.
1606
01:08:14,543 --> 01:08:16,078
I don't know
the first thing.
1607
01:08:16,145 --> 01:08:17,813
Come around here, I'll show you
what I noticed before.
1608
01:08:17,881 --> 01:08:20,317
I noticed that before it was
smoking primarily from
1609
01:08:20,382 --> 01:08:21,449
from this area here.
1610
01:08:21,516 --> 01:08:22,618
I ain't got time
for this, man.
1611
01:08:22,685 --> 01:08:24,186
- I don't even know.
- No?
1612
01:08:27,890 --> 01:08:29,426
- Murr loses again.
- Son of a bitch.
1613
01:08:29,490 --> 01:08:30,759
Did I just lose?
1614
01:08:30,826 --> 01:08:32,328
Did I just lose?
A thong was his weakness?
1615
01:08:32,395 --> 01:08:34,529
- Murr, you gotta go again.
- Yeah.
1616
01:08:34,595 --> 01:08:36,798
What, is this like
double or nothing?
1617
01:08:36,865 --> 01:08:38,935
Thank you so much, man.
I appreciate it.
1618
01:08:39,002 --> 01:08:40,601
- James. Nice to meet you, bud.
- Good to meet you, man.
1619
01:08:40,668 --> 01:08:42,037
Here's what happened,
so I'm driving before.
1620
01:08:42,104 --> 01:08:44,341
But I don't even know
what I'm looking at, bro.
1621
01:08:44,407 --> 01:08:45,774
Want to have a laugh?
1622
01:08:45,841 --> 01:08:47,576
Fake strangle me
when the next car pulls by.
1623
01:08:47,643 --> 01:08:48,743
You want to have
a little fun? Watch.
1624
01:08:48,810 --> 01:08:50,447
Okay, okay, okay, go.
1625
01:08:50,511 --> 01:08:52,247
When this guy pulls by, pretend
you're strangling me, okay?
1626
01:08:52,314 --> 01:08:53,748
Gonna do it.
1627
01:08:53,815 --> 01:08:55,484
Flail your arms.
Flail your arms!
1628
01:08:55,551 --> 01:08:57,886
- Flail, your arms.
- No, keep going. Don't stop now!
1629
01:09:02,958 --> 01:09:05,028
Dude!
1630
01:09:06,528 --> 01:09:07,595
Nailed it.
1631
01:09:07,662 --> 01:09:09,698
Thanks, bud.
That was awesome.
1632
01:09:09,765 --> 01:09:11,567
You know what, dude, I'm so
glad that you pulled over.
1633
01:09:11,632 --> 01:09:13,069
I'm so glad you pulled over.
1634
01:09:13,136 --> 01:09:14,737
I was afraid it was
gonna be a woman and then...
1635
01:09:14,802 --> 01:09:16,238
I was afraid...
Nope, nope.
1636
01:09:17,706 --> 01:09:19,009
Nope, nope, nope.
1637
01:09:21,777 --> 01:09:23,679
Car's a real lemon
right now, buddy.
1638
01:09:23,746 --> 01:09:25,948
There you go.
1639
01:09:26,015 --> 01:09:27,951
Oh, oh.
1640
01:09:28,018 --> 01:09:28,984
Oh, thank God.
1641
01:09:29,051 --> 01:09:30,519
Jump up and down
you're so excited.
1642
01:09:30,586 --> 01:09:33,721
- Yeah, yeah.
- Oh, yay.
1643
01:09:33,788 --> 01:09:35,225
Clap, clap, clap.
1644
01:09:35,291 --> 01:09:37,027
Yeah, yeah.
1645
01:09:37,092 --> 01:09:38,895
Turn around, do it
in circles, do it in circles.
1646
01:09:38,962 --> 01:09:41,796
I have been waiting for
somebody to pull over so long.
1647
01:09:41,864 --> 01:09:43,932
Oh, yes!
1648
01:09:45,768 --> 01:09:47,404
Dude, thank you so much.
1649
01:09:47,470 --> 01:09:49,338
Yay.
I love this car, man.
1650
01:09:49,405 --> 01:09:51,875
I've had this car for so long,
and then I was riding,
1651
01:09:51,940 --> 01:09:53,510
I hit a bump,
and then it just...
1652
01:09:53,609 --> 01:09:54,643
It just died.
It won't go again.
1653
01:09:54,710 --> 01:09:56,046
You believe that?
1654
01:09:56,112 --> 01:09:57,813
The old wagon's
down for the count.
1655
01:09:57,881 --> 01:09:59,082
It's just dead, man.
1656
01:09:59,149 --> 01:10:00,315
The wagon's
down for the count.
1657
01:10:00,382 --> 01:10:02,484
Yeah.
1658
01:10:02,551 --> 01:10:04,354
I lost my virginity
in this car.
1659
01:10:04,421 --> 01:10:05,921
So did my older brother.
1660
01:10:05,988 --> 01:10:07,489
- So did my older brother.
- My younger brother.
1661
01:10:07,555 --> 01:10:09,259
- So did my younger brother.
- My sister did.
1662
01:10:09,324 --> 01:10:11,027
My sis,
my sister did.
1663
01:10:11,094 --> 01:10:12,728
It was a hell of a night.
1664
01:10:12,795 --> 01:10:13,997
It was a hell of a night.
1665
01:10:14,064 --> 01:10:15,831
It was,
1666
01:10:15,899 --> 01:10:16,832
it was a hell of a night.
1667
01:10:16,899 --> 01:10:19,135
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Yeah.
1668
01:10:19,202 --> 01:10:20,735
You know what I got
in the trunk?
1669
01:10:20,802 --> 01:10:22,037
Yeah, show him
what you have in the trunk.
1670
01:10:24,340 --> 01:10:26,641
Yeah, that's about
a hundred pounds of cocaine,
1671
01:10:26,707 --> 01:10:28,278
and bags full of cash.
1672
01:10:28,344 --> 01:10:33,115
What we have here is about
a hundred pounds of cocaine...
1673
01:10:33,182 --> 01:10:34,516
You're not DEA, are you?
1674
01:10:34,582 --> 01:10:36,185
You don't work
for the fuzz, do you?
1675
01:10:38,220 --> 01:10:39,421
I'll tell you what, bro.
1676
01:10:39,488 --> 01:10:40,957
- You didn't see nothing.
- Put that back in the car.
1677
01:10:41,024 --> 01:10:41,990
Hurry up.
Here comes a bus.
1678
01:10:42,057 --> 01:10:44,127
This is... A bus?
Oh, shit.
1679
01:10:45,395 --> 01:10:47,896
Do you think anybody saw me?
1680
01:10:47,963 --> 01:10:49,466
Do you think they saw my face?
1681
01:10:52,600 --> 01:10:54,636
You never saw me!
1682
01:11:02,810 --> 01:11:06,648
Guys, this is,
this is a whole thing.
1683
01:11:06,715 --> 01:11:09,586
Joe, for no reason,
stop traffic
1684
01:11:09,650 --> 01:11:11,253
and let cars go
indiscriminately.
1685
01:11:11,320 --> 01:11:12,956
Let's stop a car.
1686
01:11:13,021 --> 01:11:14,689
He's gonna walk
right into the road.
1687
01:11:16,158 --> 01:11:18,760
Okay, take it easy.
I got 17 cars.
1688
01:11:20,462 --> 01:11:22,532
You're in.
1689
01:11:22,599 --> 01:11:23,731
Good.
1690
01:11:23,798 --> 01:11:25,667
Good, good, good.
1691
01:11:25,734 --> 01:11:28,137
Come on, come on.
1692
01:11:29,905 --> 01:11:31,306
Come on, come on, stop.
1693
01:11:35,743 --> 01:11:37,079
There you go.
1694
01:11:37,146 --> 01:11:38,646
Joe, both arms, windmill,
opposite directions.
1695
01:11:38,713 --> 01:11:42,051
There you go.
There you go.
1696
01:11:42,118 --> 01:11:44,052
Guys, nobody will stop
to help me.
1697
01:11:44,119 --> 01:11:46,122
What are you doing?
1698
01:11:46,189 --> 01:11:48,024
Okay, this guy
just pulled over.
1699
01:11:51,627 --> 01:11:53,195
- Hi, I'm Joe.
- Mitch.
1700
01:11:53,262 --> 01:11:55,097
Mitch, good to see you, pal.
So the problem was I was...
1701
01:11:55,164 --> 01:11:56,797
I was driving down this road.
1702
01:11:56,865 --> 01:11:58,134
Keep him walking
around the whole car.
1703
01:11:58,201 --> 01:12:00,069
And then when I saw it,
I hit a bump.
1704
01:12:00,136 --> 01:12:01,802
And then I heard
a da-dunk-dunk-dunk.
1705
01:12:01,871 --> 01:12:03,640
Come on.
And a hit a buh-bump-bump.
1706
01:12:03,704 --> 01:12:06,208
And then when I hit it,
I heard a jiggle-jiggle here.
1707
01:12:06,275 --> 01:12:07,243
There was a jiggle.
1708
01:12:07,310 --> 01:12:08,478
Take him around
the whole car.
1709
01:12:08,545 --> 01:12:09,810
Then on the other side here...
1710
01:12:09,878 --> 01:12:11,547
Joe, I need,
I need two full rotations.
1711
01:12:11,613 --> 01:12:12,981
This is here,
this is one car.
1712
01:12:13,048 --> 01:12:14,551
- This is one.
- Come on, take a walk with me.
1713
01:12:14,617 --> 01:12:16,920
So I saw back here that
this wheel started to like,
1714
01:12:16,985 --> 01:12:18,819
if you look, like,
this is on pretty good.
1715
01:12:18,887 --> 01:12:20,323
- Okay.
- But the other one,
1716
01:12:20,390 --> 01:12:21,890
come on here, Mitch,
let me show you real quick.
1717
01:12:21,957 --> 01:12:23,359
Oh, no, now you went
the other way. Shit.
1718
01:12:23,426 --> 01:12:25,827
- He's undoing it, Joe!
- You're undoing...
1719
01:12:25,895 --> 01:12:27,296
You're undoing the loop.
No, you gotta come this way.
1720
01:12:27,363 --> 01:12:28,898
- Yeah.
- So now we're back on track.
1721
01:12:28,965 --> 01:12:30,832
So this will be
a second rotation, yeah.
1722
01:12:30,899 --> 01:12:32,034
This hubcap is off.
1723
01:12:32,100 --> 01:12:33,869
The other side,
the two came off.
1724
01:12:33,936 --> 01:12:36,038
- Okay.
- This one here, hubcap.
1725
01:12:36,104 --> 01:12:37,539
So I got two hubcaps.
So now...
1726
01:12:37,606 --> 01:12:39,707
I think I actually need
three rotations, Joe.
1727
01:12:39,774 --> 01:12:41,610
Damn it.
How many rotations?
1728
01:12:41,677 --> 01:12:42,979
You need one more.
1729
01:12:43,046 --> 01:12:44,413
What are you trying
to accomplish here, Joe?
1730
01:12:44,479 --> 01:12:45,713
- Oh, me?
- Yeah.
1731
01:12:45,780 --> 01:12:47,182
Oh, no, I'm trying to get
the car to start.
1732
01:12:47,250 --> 01:12:48,318
But I walked you through
what happened, come here.
1733
01:12:48,384 --> 01:12:49,551
Mitch, Mitch...
1734
01:12:49,618 --> 01:12:51,320
You gotta look at this,
Mitch. Mitch, Mitch!
1735
01:12:51,386 --> 01:12:53,456
- Hold on, hold on.
- Joe, start hiding from him.
1736
01:12:53,523 --> 01:12:55,123
But I don't need...
1737
01:12:55,190 --> 01:12:56,559
Joe, he's not
gonna chase you.
1738
01:12:56,626 --> 01:12:57,961
- Come on, Joe!
- Hey, man,
1739
01:12:58,027 --> 01:13:00,563
you're gonna make me
leave you, man, okay?
1740
01:13:00,630 --> 01:13:02,864
- Hey, man, I'm gone, man.
- No, no, Mitch, look at this!
1741
01:13:02,931 --> 01:13:05,335
No.
1742
01:13:05,400 --> 01:13:07,136
Mitch, but look, you gotta
look at this last one.
1743
01:13:07,203 --> 01:13:08,637
- Come here.
- Mitch.
1744
01:13:08,704 --> 01:13:10,006
Mitch, you're my best friend.
1745
01:13:10,073 --> 01:13:12,041
We're best friends, Mitch.
Mitch.
1746
01:13:12,108 --> 01:13:13,809
All I'm trying to do
is help you.
1747
01:13:13,876 --> 01:13:15,144
- I know, I'm trying...
- You want to help me,
1748
01:13:15,211 --> 01:13:16,613
go around the car
one more time!
1749
01:13:16,679 --> 01:13:17,613
- One more time.
- Okay?
1750
01:13:17,680 --> 01:13:18,881
- Guess what.
- What?
1751
01:13:18,948 --> 01:13:20,649
- You gotta follow me.
- Okay. Deal.
1752
01:13:20,716 --> 01:13:22,484
I'm following you, Mitch.
1753
01:13:22,551 --> 01:13:23,784
- Joe...
- It's okay.
1754
01:13:23,853 --> 01:13:25,387
Joe, after this,
I'm going home.
1755
01:13:25,454 --> 01:13:27,289
Okay, you accomplished
your goal.
1756
01:13:27,356 --> 01:13:29,158
I did.
I did accomplish my goal.
1757
01:13:29,225 --> 01:13:30,659
- And you have a good day.
- That's it.
1758
01:13:30,726 --> 01:13:32,662
Mitch,
you're unbelievable, buddy.
1759
01:13:32,729 --> 01:13:33,863
Thank you so much.
1760
01:13:33,930 --> 01:13:35,398
That's how you hit home runs.
1761
01:13:35,465 --> 01:13:36,698
Great work, boys.
1762
01:13:43,472 --> 01:13:45,908
Lovely Florida.
Oh, what do we have here?
1763
01:13:45,975 --> 01:13:47,277
Check it out.
1764
01:13:47,342 --> 01:13:50,145
Murr's our loser!
1765
01:13:50,212 --> 01:13:51,581
Oh!
1766
01:13:51,648 --> 01:13:53,483
Murr is forever our loser.
1767
01:13:53,548 --> 01:13:55,217
No Abdul for you, baby.
1768
01:14:01,556 --> 01:14:03,091
- Look at this!
- We have arrived.
1769
01:14:03,158 --> 01:14:05,793
Oh, look at this.
1770
01:14:11,167 --> 01:14:13,368
Welcome to Miami, gentlemen.
Checking in?
1771
01:14:13,435 --> 01:14:15,337
You bet your sweet ass
we're checking in,
1772
01:14:15,404 --> 01:14:17,372
you bedroom-eyed baby bitch,
just kidding.
1773
01:14:17,439 --> 01:14:19,676
- We need help with luggage?
- We straight!
1774
01:14:19,742 --> 01:14:20,841
All good here, dawg.
1775
01:14:23,479 --> 01:14:25,681
Door!
1776
01:14:25,747 --> 01:14:27,783
Hey, watch the leather.
1777
01:14:27,849 --> 01:14:29,719
Good joke.
1778
01:14:50,006 --> 01:14:52,375
It's always...
1779
01:14:52,442 --> 01:14:53,943
I gotta go back down!
1780
01:15:03,853 --> 01:15:05,654
- VIPs.
- What do you think?
1781
01:15:05,721 --> 01:15:06,988
What do you think?
VIP!
1782
01:15:07,055 --> 01:15:08,890
Stands for
"Very Important Man."
1783
01:15:08,957 --> 01:15:10,626
- Abdul!
- Get to the party.
1784
01:15:10,693 --> 01:15:12,095
Abdul!
1785
01:15:14,463 --> 01:15:17,667
Abdul! Abdul! Abdul!
1786
01:15:19,202 --> 01:15:21,304
Abdul! Abdul! Abdul!
1787
01:15:28,144 --> 01:15:29,845
Wow,
look at this place, huh?
1788
01:15:29,912 --> 01:15:32,280
Whoa. Oh, yeah.
1789
01:15:32,347 --> 01:15:33,783
Door.
1790
01:15:33,850 --> 01:15:36,319
- This is crazy.
- Wow. Check it.
1791
01:15:36,386 --> 01:15:38,154
Yeah, but we made it, boys.
1792
01:15:38,220 --> 01:15:39,721
It's us, settle down.
Everybody settle down.
1793
01:15:41,859 --> 01:15:43,359
- You have a finger...
- Very good, all right.
1794
01:15:43,426 --> 01:15:46,328
...in your ass
on television!
1795
01:15:46,395 --> 01:15:48,430
There you go.
1796
01:15:50,766 --> 01:15:52,935
This is so nice.
1797
01:15:53,002 --> 01:15:54,569
- Paula.
- Hey, Paula.
1798
01:15:54,636 --> 01:15:56,905
Hey, guys, how are you?
You made it.
1799
01:15:56,972 --> 01:15:58,440
- Where's Murr?
- Who he?
1800
01:15:58,507 --> 01:16:00,710
Oh, it turns out
there was only three tickets.
1801
01:16:00,777 --> 01:16:03,378
So we decided to compete
in a hidden camera challenge...
1802
01:16:05,782 --> 01:16:07,949
You guys are hysterical.
1803
01:16:10,720 --> 01:16:12,220
Okay.
1804
01:16:15,158 --> 01:16:18,795
- Well, there's our table.
- She thinks I'm hysterical.
1805
01:16:18,862 --> 01:16:19,996
- That's nice.
- You are funny.
1806
01:16:48,557 --> 01:16:49,725
So funny.
1807
01:16:49,792 --> 01:16:52,261
That looks like Murr
from Impractical Jokers.
1808
01:16:52,328 --> 01:16:54,329
No way.
He looks too sad and lonely.
1809
01:16:54,396 --> 01:16:56,064
Yeah, and they're never
seen alone.
1810
01:16:56,131 --> 01:16:57,432
- They're tight like that.
- Yeah.
1811
01:16:57,500 --> 01:17:00,101
So anyways,
like I was saying, she...
1812
01:17:01,837 --> 01:17:03,773
Okay, so when you're making
a balsamic reduction,
1813
01:17:03,840 --> 01:17:05,841
you really want to have
the flame at a nice simmer.
1814
01:17:05,908 --> 01:17:07,542
If the heat is too hot,
it's not gonna reduce
1815
01:17:07,609 --> 01:17:09,145
the way you want it,
and the most important part
1816
01:17:09,212 --> 01:17:11,247
is to put the drizzle
right when it's hot.
1817
01:17:11,314 --> 01:17:13,548
And that's chicken, salads,
fish dishes, whatever?
1818
01:17:13,615 --> 01:17:15,784
Any dish.
It's about the presentaish.
1819
01:17:59,761 --> 01:18:01,063
What are you doing?
1820
01:18:01,130 --> 01:18:02,664
Kinda getting back into it
a little bit.
1821
01:18:02,731 --> 01:18:03,798
It looks like you're hurt.
1822
01:18:03,867 --> 01:18:05,501
Nah, I feel great.
1823
01:18:05,568 --> 01:18:08,203
- That does not look like you think it looks, buddy.
- Yeah.
1824
01:18:08,270 --> 01:18:10,072
I don't know
if I agree with you.
1825
01:18:10,139 --> 01:18:12,742
Everyone here agrees with us.
1826
01:18:13,676 --> 01:18:15,077
All right, all right.
1827
01:18:15,144 --> 01:18:16,479
All right,
we need Murray back,
1828
01:18:16,546 --> 01:18:18,146
'cause we're starting
to turn on each other.
1829
01:18:18,213 --> 01:18:19,448
You know, it just doesn't
feel right without Murr.
1830
01:18:19,515 --> 01:18:21,149
Because he's not here,
I'll admit it.
1831
01:18:21,216 --> 01:18:22,451
I miss him a little.
1832
01:18:22,518 --> 01:18:24,287
What are we even
still doing here?
1833
01:18:24,353 --> 01:18:25,787
We accomplished
what we set out to do.
1834
01:18:25,855 --> 01:18:28,256
We didn't mess up the night.
I'm not having fun.
1835
01:18:28,323 --> 01:18:30,592
We're nowhere near
Paula anyway.
1836
01:18:30,659 --> 01:18:33,328
Why don't we make like a tree
and go make fun of Murray?
1837
01:18:33,395 --> 01:18:35,230
- Yeah.
- All right.
1838
01:18:43,139 --> 01:18:46,207
Look at this vanilla angel.
1839
01:18:47,043 --> 01:18:48,543
He's magnificent.
1840
01:18:48,610 --> 01:18:50,512
You glorious,
luminous ferret.
1841
01:18:50,579 --> 01:18:52,847
I made the cut.
I made the cut.
1842
01:18:52,916 --> 01:18:54,617
I'm in, boys.
1843
01:18:54,684 --> 01:18:56,752
You just had to come,
didn't you?
1844
01:18:56,819 --> 01:18:58,421
The unmitigated gall, bro.
1845
01:18:58,487 --> 01:19:00,355
I mean, you lost
and you show up?
1846
01:19:00,422 --> 01:19:02,123
- What about the rules?
- Yeah, I mean...
1847
01:19:02,190 --> 01:19:04,126
we're gonna pass Go
and collect $200?
1848
01:19:04,193 --> 01:19:05,328
We're breaking rules?
1849
01:19:05,394 --> 01:19:06,729
I'm not playing Monopoly
like that!
1850
01:19:06,796 --> 01:19:08,030
Really?
1851
01:19:08,096 --> 01:19:09,564
I thought you guys
would be realizing
1852
01:19:09,631 --> 01:19:11,132
that the four of us
are better together.
1853
01:19:11,199 --> 01:19:13,970
This place is thebomb.com.
1854
01:19:14,037 --> 01:19:15,604
There's Paula Abdul.
1855
01:19:15,671 --> 01:19:16,605
Paula!
1856
01:19:16,671 --> 01:19:19,108
- Right, she's right there.
- Hi.
1857
01:19:21,510 --> 01:19:23,279
She's clocking us
in a weird way.
1858
01:19:29,518 --> 01:19:31,854
- It's them.
- You bald idiot.
1859
01:19:31,921 --> 01:19:33,154
You wore the jacket.
1860
01:19:33,221 --> 01:19:35,423
It's them.
1861
01:19:35,490 --> 01:19:37,894
She's put it all together.
We gotta get out of here.
1862
01:19:37,961 --> 01:19:39,029
Run!
1863
01:19:39,095 --> 01:19:40,863
My throat!
1864
01:19:44,667 --> 01:19:46,702
Suck it, Abdul!
1865
01:19:46,769 --> 01:19:47,802
- Yeah!
- Whoa!
1866
01:19:49,137 --> 01:19:50,439
Hey, baby!
1867
01:19:53,208 --> 01:19:54,377
- Sal!
- His throat!
1868
01:19:54,443 --> 01:19:57,613
- My beautiful boy.
- Buddy, buddy.
1869
01:19:57,680 --> 01:20:00,216
- Take 'em out back.
- Who are you?
1870
01:20:00,282 --> 01:20:01,650
I run this town.
1871
01:20:01,716 --> 01:20:04,753
Not the cartel.
Not the Yakuza.
1872
01:20:04,819 --> 01:20:05,889
Abdul.
1873
01:20:05,956 --> 01:20:07,923
You're evil.
And you, you're a monster.
1874
01:20:07,990 --> 01:20:10,725
You know, I'm gonna make you
forever my bitch!
1875
01:20:14,965 --> 01:20:16,966
No!
1876
01:20:22,038 --> 01:20:23,738
And this is where
our story should end.
1877
01:20:23,805 --> 01:20:25,942
I mean, we really screwed
the night up.
1878
01:20:26,009 --> 01:20:28,610
My sweet, sweet Sal was tased.
1879
01:20:28,677 --> 01:20:30,881
I'm saving him
like a real man, sure,
1880
01:20:30,947 --> 01:20:33,149
but Murr is screaming
like a little ferret.
1881
01:20:33,215 --> 01:20:34,582
Paula's good and pissed.
1882
01:20:34,649 --> 01:20:37,185
And Joe...
Wait, where is Joe?
1883
01:20:37,252 --> 01:20:39,421
Hey, Paula.
1884
01:20:39,488 --> 01:20:41,992
I mean, I came here
to party, right?
1885
01:20:43,391 --> 01:20:45,996
I got this, boys.
1886
01:21:02,811 --> 01:21:03,779
DJ, flip it.
1887
01:21:03,845 --> 01:21:06,115
Paula, get your Abdul ass
up here.
1888
01:21:11,220 --> 01:21:13,456
Oh, oh!
1889
01:21:13,521 --> 01:21:16,391
I remember.
1890
01:21:18,028 --> 01:21:20,496
For how long?
1891
01:21:24,300 --> 01:21:25,634
Yeah, let's do it!
1892
01:21:25,701 --> 01:21:28,971
Give it up for Joe
and the Impractical Jokers.
1893
01:21:29,038 --> 01:21:30,238
They're in the house,
1894
01:21:30,305 --> 01:21:32,507
and they drove
the whole way here.
1895
01:21:34,275 --> 01:21:35,644
She forgives us!
1896
01:21:43,652 --> 01:21:45,122
Pick your head up.
Pick your head up.
1897
01:21:52,061 --> 01:21:54,131
What?
1898
01:21:54,197 --> 01:21:56,431
Paula Abdul!
1899
01:21:56,498 --> 01:21:58,033
You did it!
1900
01:22:01,203 --> 01:22:02,671
Tell me!
1901
01:22:05,274 --> 01:22:07,643
Hands in the air!
1902
01:22:20,756 --> 01:22:23,626
Wow, I love Miami.
1903
01:22:23,692 --> 01:22:25,560
What a night.
What a night!
1904
01:22:25,627 --> 01:22:27,130
- Yes!
- Unbelievable.
1905
01:22:27,197 --> 01:22:30,065
Man, I'm so glad I threatened
your lives with that 2x4.
1906
01:22:31,268 --> 01:22:33,136
- Fellas, I love you.
- Yeah.
1907
01:22:33,203 --> 01:22:34,203
You're my best friends.
1908
01:22:34,270 --> 01:22:35,872
Epic, epic night, guys.
1909
01:22:35,939 --> 01:22:39,809
Yeah, I don't say
this enough, but I... I...
1910
01:22:39,876 --> 01:22:42,078
Hey, Fatone, you mind
keeping it down back there?
1911
01:22:42,145 --> 01:22:44,546
- We're trying to have a moment.
- Sorry.
1912
01:22:44,613 --> 01:22:46,681
I thought
I had known everything
1913
01:22:46,748 --> 01:22:48,051
there was to know about us,
1914
01:22:48,118 --> 01:22:49,618
but I learned
a few things on this trip.
1915
01:22:49,685 --> 01:22:51,353
Sal loves tigers.
1916
01:22:51,420 --> 01:22:54,722
Yeah, Murr loves going to strip
clubs with his young nieces.
1917
01:22:54,789 --> 01:22:56,725
Q's parents love
softcore porn.
1918
01:22:56,792 --> 01:22:58,295
- No, no, they do not.
- They do.
1919
01:22:58,359 --> 01:22:59,962
- They do not. They do not.
- They do, they produce it.
1920
01:23:00,029 --> 01:23:01,764
I'll tell you
what the biggest thing, though,
1921
01:23:01,831 --> 01:23:03,399
that surprised me
was how good of a hype man
1922
01:23:03,465 --> 01:23:05,466
- Joe turned out to be after all.
- Right?
1923
01:23:05,533 --> 01:23:08,470
Not bad, buddy.
1924
01:23:08,537 --> 01:23:10,974
I should talk to you boys
about something.
1925
01:23:11,041 --> 01:23:12,541
An offer came in.
1926
01:23:12,608 --> 01:23:14,376
Abdul wants me to go
full-time as her hype man.
1927
01:23:14,443 --> 01:23:16,545
World tour.
Unbelievable.
1928
01:23:16,612 --> 01:23:19,414
Seven-figure salary,
401(k), full benefits.
1929
01:23:19,480 --> 01:23:21,617
Everything.
1930
01:23:21,684 --> 01:23:24,653
You know, she even offered me
my own reality show.
1931
01:23:24,720 --> 01:23:27,355
"Believe the Hype:
The Joe Gatto Story."
1932
01:23:27,422 --> 01:23:29,425
I got a tricycle for McKayla.
1933
01:23:29,490 --> 01:23:30,658
Milana.
1934
01:23:30,725 --> 01:23:32,828
My own helicopter
they're flying in.
1935
01:23:34,096 --> 01:23:35,631
She's gonna get rid
of that tapeworm.
1936
01:23:35,698 --> 01:23:37,498
Oh, you've had that
for years.
1937
01:23:37,565 --> 01:23:38,868
Bye-bye, Charlie.
1938
01:23:38,935 --> 01:23:41,837
Everything I ever wanted
as a full-blown hype man
1939
01:23:41,904 --> 01:23:43,605
delivered on a silver platter.
1940
01:23:43,671 --> 01:23:45,175
Well, what did you say
to her?
1941
01:23:49,345 --> 01:23:50,881
- I said no.
- Oh, thank God!
1942
01:23:50,947 --> 01:23:52,248
I don't want to do it.
She said, "What are you doing?"
1943
01:23:52,314 --> 01:23:53,315
I said,
"I'm forever their boy."
1944
01:23:53,381 --> 01:23:55,051
I straight up told her no-no.
1945
01:23:55,118 --> 01:23:56,152
You know what?
1946
01:23:57,386 --> 01:23:59,154
It's time to go back
to Staten Island.
1947
01:23:59,221 --> 01:24:00,456
Yes, it is.
1948
01:24:00,521 --> 01:24:01,858
Let me just go gas up
Grandma Lucia.
1949
01:24:01,925 --> 01:24:03,626
- We'll hit the road.
- Hold on, fellas.
1950
01:24:03,692 --> 01:24:07,462
Abdul texted me tickets
to go on her private plane.
1951
01:24:07,529 --> 01:24:08,796
- Oh, all right.
- Oh!
1952
01:24:08,864 --> 01:24:10,466
- That's awesome.
- Wait, wait, wait.
1953
01:24:10,532 --> 01:24:12,868
She sent three tickets.
Come on!
1954
01:24:12,935 --> 01:24:14,502
Is she kidding me?
1955
01:24:14,569 --> 01:24:15,804
- And it goes on.
- This is on purpose, right?
1956
01:24:15,872 --> 01:24:17,908
- Does she watch the show?
- Oh, that's great.
1957
01:24:17,974 --> 01:24:19,376
Well, there's four of us.
That's an issue.
1958
01:24:19,440 --> 01:24:20,408
Well, then how
are we gonna decide
1959
01:24:20,475 --> 01:24:21,912
who gets to go on the plane?
1960
01:24:21,978 --> 01:24:23,746
- I think it's been decided.
- Yeah, pretty sure.
1961
01:24:23,811 --> 01:24:25,247
- What do you mean?
- Did you not watch the movie?
1962
01:24:25,314 --> 01:24:27,117
- That's for real, like...
- Yes.
1963
01:24:27,182 --> 01:24:29,585
- Yes, our show is real.
- But that's for real?
1964
01:24:29,652 --> 01:24:31,420
You think you have a shot
at a private?
1965
01:24:31,487 --> 01:24:33,189
Don't worry, we'll...
1966
01:24:45,768 --> 01:24:47,569
Is that it?
Is that the plane?
1967
01:24:47,636 --> 01:24:49,837
Oh, my God, guys.
We are living life.
1968
01:24:49,905 --> 01:24:51,774
- That's a jet.
- Yeah.
1969
01:24:51,840 --> 01:24:54,475
All right, all right.
1970
01:24:54,542 --> 01:24:56,145
So I really can't
fly in the jet?
1971
01:24:56,212 --> 01:24:57,980
Come on.
1972
01:24:58,047 --> 01:25:00,216
What about if I drive
Grandma Lucia home?
1973
01:25:00,283 --> 01:25:02,717
Grandma Lucia's already halfway
back to Staten Island, buddy.
1974
01:25:02,784 --> 01:25:05,287
We're in this.
You're on that.
1975
01:25:10,025 --> 01:25:11,427
Oh, God.
1976
01:25:11,493 --> 01:25:13,529
See you in Staten Island.
1977
01:25:13,595 --> 01:25:15,431
- Welcome.
- Thank you.
1978
01:25:15,497 --> 01:25:17,067
Wait, on?
1979
01:25:26,675 --> 01:25:29,279
- All right, huh?
- Oh, yeah.
1980
01:25:29,345 --> 01:25:31,180
- Cheers.
- Cheers!
1981
01:25:31,247 --> 01:25:32,349
Yes!
1982
01:25:32,414 --> 01:25:34,682
Private plane, Abdul,
no Murray.
1983
01:25:34,750 --> 01:25:37,519
- This is crazy, man.
- Mmm.
1984
01:25:38,921 --> 01:25:40,990
How do you think he's doing?
1985
01:26:16,792 --> 01:26:18,261
Oh, God!
1986
01:26:48,890 --> 01:26:53,890
Subtitles by explosiveskull
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