All language subtitles for Cruising the Caribbean with Jane McDonald Ch5 1080p_ENG_Subtitles01

I'm Jane McDonald
and I love to cruise.

For 20 years, the sea
has been my home -

first, below deck
as a cruise ship singer

and now onboard as a passenger.

I've learned the ropes,
and now it's your turn.

I want to show you how to cruise
with confidence...

Happy new year!

..and push your comfort zone...

Fantastic!

..and uncover amazing places.

I still feel like I'm in a dream.

So, come on board with me
for a journey of discovery,

as I invite you to join me
on my tropical cruise

around the Caribbean.

We'll be setting off from Miami...

Look at that!
There's a pink police car!

..swinging our hips to
the Latino beat in Puerto Rico...

Oh! I missed it!

..and enjoying the unique appeal
of downtown Havana.

It's fabulous, it's sexy,
it's vibrant, it's hot -

and I love it.

So, grab your Cuban heels
and come along for the ride.

The Caribbean, the world's -

and definitely my -
favourite cruise destination.

It's impossible not to be excited
about coming here.

It's the ultimate sun, sea, sand
and sailing holiday.

It's got islands - 7,000 of them -

some of the best beaches
in the world, weather to die for

and gorgeous people.

It's absolutely beautiful here!

Look at that. That's the Caribbean.
That's what everybody comes for.

I love everything about it.

And I've got such happy memories
of times here

when I worked on the ships.

This is going to be a real trip
down memory lane.

Almost every Caribbean cruise
starts in Miami.

It's the biggest cruise port
in the world

and five million holiday-makers
set sail from here every year.

It's just famous for its beaches

as it is for being
the US capital of fun.

Here, the party never stops.

I've got a few hours to kill, and
the plan was to get a vintage car

driven by a Ricky Martin lookalike.

I've got the car,
and this is Larry.

Well, one out of two's not bad!

Have you lived here all your life?

My whole life. I had family here,
my wife's family's from here.

Just never left.
I mean, I love it here.

I can see why. Not bad, is it?

This is a unique city. Uh-huh.

This is basically the capital
of Latin America.

This is a great public beach
right here.

Is that where you see the people
in bikinis and the...?

Well, you see people in less than
bikinis on this particular beach.

Oh! Is it a nudie beach?
Topless. Topless.

So you can come down here
and get the girls out, yeah?

Absolutely. You can get them out.

I don't.
JANE LAUGHS

Oh! Look at that!
There's a pink police car!

You don't get many of those
in Wakefield, do you?

Come to think of it, there's loads
of things here that you wouldn't see

in Wakefield, but I'm feeling
right at home

in Larry's gorgeous '66 Mustang.

Do you know what, Larry?

When I lived in America, my first
car that I ever drove was a Mustang.

It's a beautiful vehicle.

I refer to this as my time machine.

I put the Rolling Stones on
and I'm 17 years old again.

Oh!

I feel like a film star, Larry.
I really do.

You look like a film star. Aww!

Look at that view.

This, to me, is Miami - palm trees,
great buildings, in a Mustang.

This has just got to be it.

If you've got time and you're going
on a cruise, please, please...

No, I'm not even going to...
I'm going to tell you.

Don't just sit in the airport or
go straight to the port,

find someone like Larry with
a Mustang and drive round

and just get the absolute vibe of
this fantastic place.

You really have got to do that.

Have you ever been on
a cruise, Larry?

Yes. Cruising is great. Uh-huh.
It's a lot of fun.

You check in, you put all your stuff
in your room,

then you go see all these places.
It's great.

It's a resort hotel...

..that moves.

Here's my ship - the Divina,

one of the biggest liners
in the world.

So, I'll have lots of company -
4,300 passengers, to be exact -

all aboard our floating
resort hotel.

It's massive! Look at it!

It's so big, you cannot even
get it in the shot.

It's from there...right to there.

LAUGHS: It's massive!

Arriving on a new ship for
the first time is always exciting.

You never know quite what to expect.

And I'm already looking forward
to exploring.

That's what makes cruises such fun.

You have a different experience
every single time.

Can you tell me about my room?
Yes, you are in Room 247.

Thank you very much. You're welcome!

Every ship is laid out differently,

and I'm hopeless at working out
where I am and where I should be.

But there are always maps -
or crew - to help you.

251...

I'm near. 249...

Ah! Here we are.

Right. Go in!

SHE GRUNTS
Oh!

Oh, look at this!

Real luxury on a ship is a balcony.

Cos then you can have your coffee
on a morning and just sit out there

and take the day in, which is vital.

If you can afford a balcony,
definitely go for one.

The fact that I've got daylight
in me room is a real luxury.

You never get an outside cabin
when you're a crew member.

Right now, it's hard to imagine
I'll be waking up

in the Caribbean tomorrow,
but I will!

It's 4,346 miles
from Wakefield to Miami,

where I'm starting my seven-day,
three-island cruise.

From Miami, we sail overnight to our
first stop, Nassau in the Bahamas,

then on to Saint Martin -
which is half-French, half-Dutch

but totally one of
my favourite islands -

and then on to Puerto Rico,

birthplace of Ricky Martin
and the pina colada.

Like every cruise anywhere,
this one starts with a party -

the sail away.

The magic of the sail away
is just brilliant.

Everyone's in the same boat...
Well, literally. Pardon the pun.

You've made it on board, you've all
got a drink in your hand

and that's it. You're at sea.

You're on your jollies!
And it's brilliant!

And there's always
some friendly faces.

I knew you were here, you see.

I thought, "I'm going where
I've got friends."

Yeah? Absolutely. Yeah!

It's going to be fabulous.

We were on this ship in December.
The same ship? The same ship.

We're going to have a lot of fun.
I can feel it in the water, yeah.

If we can stay sober. No, stop that!

Cheers! I'll see you later on.
Cheers! See you later!

Caribbean, here I come!

Coming up...

Welcome to the Bahamas! Thank you.

..I take a trip down memory lane
in the Bahamas...

Do you know what?

LAUGHS: I'm going to buy this!

..I go to church
with surprising results...

I can't speak, I'm so sorry.

But that is what we all need.

..and I feel the sun between my toes
on a gorgeous Bahamian beach.

Look at that! That's the Caribbean!

How fabulous is that?

I'm cruising in the Caribbean.

So far, I've had a quick trip
around Miami in a Mustang...

Ooh! Look at that!
There's a pink police car!

..and a shock at the size
of the ship I'm on.

It's so big, you cannot even
get it in the shot.

We're about to arrive in
the Bahamas. But before we do,

I'm going to do some
onboard exploring.

They've got everything on here.
It's like a floating city.

There's shopping malls,

a 1,600-seater theatre,

four swimming pools, 12 bars,
eight restaurants,

a gym and spa
and 24-hour entertainment.

Look at this! This is
a bit flashy, innit?

This is amazing - a staircase made
of Swarovski crystal.

Look at these stairs!

I bet the Kardashians have got
three of these at home.

Maybe four!

It's taken just eight hours to sail
overnight from Miami to Nassau,

our first port of call.

The Bahamas is a group of
more than 700 islands

and Nassau's a major
cruise destination.

Up to seven liners can berth here
at one time,

which can mean between 15 and
20,000 people disembarking

and looking for something to do.

Most of my fellow passengers
will be heading off on excursions

or just checking out
the local shops,

but I'm feeling a bit nostalgic.

They're all off on tours.

It's the first time for
a lot of these people.

But being a member of crew,
I've done this island so many times,

so I'm taking you down
memory lane today.

Welcome to the Bahamas! Thank you!

How are you today?
Very well. And you?

You have a beautiful day
in my country! I will.

Thank you so much!
Thank you very much, my friend! Bye!

Nassau is the capital
of the Bahamas,

which used to be part of
the British Empire.

And you can still see its influence
here in the architecture

and even the police uniforms.

Because of its UK links, Nassau
was always a favourite stopover

for the British crew I sailed with.

And there was one thing
we all wanted.

I'm having a full English.

How would you like your eggs? Er...

Ooh! I think I might have
them poached. No problem.

Have you got any tea?
Yes, we have. Fantastic!

Cor! Can't wait for this.
I'm starving.

This is the only place on the island
you can get a proper full English.

Oh, look at this! Oh, Connie!

Connie likes to mix it up a bit
with some local specialities.

Oh, really? Yeah. While you in
the Bahamas, you got to try...

Is that right? What is this?
This is called sheep tongue.

Oh, tongue?! Tongue!
Oh! Yeah. Sheep's tongue?

Yeah, sheep tongue!
THEY LAUGH

Right! I'm going...
I'm going in.

Let's have a go.

Actually, it's not bad.

In fact, it's that good,
it speaks for itself.

There's only so much ship food,
when you're a member of crew,

that you can stomach.

And my last contract on the ships
was ten months.

And we used to just love...
Cos the baked beans here...

..are proper English baked beans.

So when you'd come in
and get these baked beans,

it'd taste like home.

And that's all you do
when you're a crew member -

you want everything
that reminds you of home.

It's pathetic, innit, really?
But...that's what you do.

Well, that's my taste of home.

Next, the Straw Market on Bay Street
is a tourist magnet.

I'm just going to pop in
and have a look.

I won't be buying anything, though.
Definitely.

You're in Nassau, Bahamas,
the Straw Market.

That's where you guys are at. Yeah!

This is the stock exchange
of the Bahamas.

The stock exchange of the Bahamas.

Do you make all this stuff, then?
Yes. Do you make it all yourself?

So this is a great line...
Oh, love it.

Yeah... I wouldn't... I wouldn't
trade it in for nothing.

Born and raised, born and raised.
I was born here,

In this business. Yeah! Fun.
You look like you're having fun.

I wouldn't change it for the world.
No. That's great.

I love your hair as well. I love
all that look. It's... It's good!

This is a fake.
Oh, I'm a bald head! Are you?

THEY LAUGH

Oh, that's brilliant!
That looks so real!

That looks so real.
Very youthful. I like that. Yes.

You see, this type of thing.

Looks fantastic here in its setting.

But where would you put it
in your house?

I'm not going to buy anything.

I'm not. I'm not!

Do you know what?

LAUGHS: I'm going to buy this!

What were you saying...?

I know! I can't help it!
You see what I mean?

They draw you in. They draw you in.

And I've just seen something
that I really like.

What is it? What's so special
about it?

It's a piano and it's got two hands
doing that.

And that's.... I've got a piano,
so... I'm a musician.

A lot of people would disagree!
SHE LAUGHS

But look at that! You would not
find that anywhere else, would you?

I mean, look at that!
That's great, innit?

I'll have that as well.

Jane, don't buy it.
Jane, don't buy it!

So that's tourist Nassau,

but I want to show you something
more authentic.

It's Sunday morning

and most of the locals are in one of
the 20 churches on the island.

Bethel Baptist Church is the oldest
in the Bahamas.

It was founded in 1790
by two runaway slaves,

Prince William and Sambo Scriven,

whose descendants
still worship here.

A friend in Wakefield told me
about this.

To be honest, I'm not sure
what to expect.

Thank you for 225 years right here
in the Commonwealth of the Bahamas!

Thank you for the words
still being preached!

Thank you, Lord,
for us all still being safe!

Thank you, Lord, for all that
you're doing in our midst

and all that you will do.

We give you thanks,
we give you praise,

we give you glory
and we give you honour.

In the name of the Father,
in the name of the Son,

and in the name of the Holy Spirit.

CONGREGATION SINGS

I've read that 75% of the population
here attends church regularly.

That's amazing.

SINGING CONTINUES

APPLAUSE

And then the people of God
shall praise the Lord!

This morning, we celebrate
a good God here...

God is in charge.

He is on the throne
and he cares for his own.

APPLAUSE DROWN OUT PREACHER

..say thank you
for your presence today.

I can't speak, I'm so sorry.

But that is what we all need.

We all need something
to make us do this.

We need something to touch us here.

And we haven't got much of that now,
have we?

After all that emotion,
I just needed a moment.

And where better than this beach?

It's absolutely beautiful here.

Look at that! That's the Caribbean.
That's what everybody comes for.

How fabulous is that?

Oh!

Now that is doing me bunions good,
that. That is doing me bunions good.

That'll beat any foot balm,
hands-down.

Ooh!

It's a new day on the ship -

and for the crew, that means
putting out 2,500 deck loungers

and breakfast for more than
4,000 passengers.

There's more choice than I've ever
seen anywhere.

Absolutely everything up there -
eggs, waffles, doughnuts,

pizza! There's a breakfast pizza!
I mean...

..breakfast pizza!

So, it is very, very easy to just
eat and eat and eat and eat,

so you have to have a little bit
of willpower.

For the days we spend at sea
with no land excursions,

the daily programme
is packed with things to do.

This is your daily programme.

And there's all sorts of lovely
things that you can do today,

like a morning walk.

There's arts and craft,

there's a get together,
there's morning trivia,

there's a Merengue dance class.
I could have done any of that.

But instead, I'm going to do
something I've never tried before -

aqua spinning.

What was I thinking of?

Push, push, push! More power!

I've been pushing!
It's like being in labour!

THEY LAUGH

45 minutes aqua spinning
burns off about 700 calories.

That's two slices of
breakfast pizza.

Can we just go downhill
instead of uphill?

Three, two, one!

Yay! Happy new year!

I-I'm shattered.

I don't know how people do that
every day. You know?

Maybe cos I don't do it every day.

We're on our way to Saint Martin,

one of my favourite
Caribbean islands

and the furthest point
of this cruise.

Saint Martin is unique.

It's the only Caribbean island
that is half-French and half-Dutch.

Coming here, you can go on
an excursion

or just get yourself to the beach
and lie in the sun all day.

It's a big favourite
with all the cruise companies,

and I had some great times there
when I was working on the ships.

God, doesn't she look like me?
I get told all the time! Yeah!

Honestly! Are you having
the best time on here, though?

It's the first cruise we've ever
been on... First cruise ever!

..and we're loving it, aren't we?
Yeah, it's brilliant.

Isn't it great? Yeah, loving it.
We'll do another cruise, definitely.

So what are you doing today,
then, here?

Go on the beach, find some shops,
things like that.

Lovely! Spend all his money!

That's what we're good at, isn't it?
Have you got some? No.

No, I've spent it!

OK, see you soon! Bye, darling! Have
a good day playing with the sharks!

I will! See you, love! Bye!

The seas around here
are full of fish,

but today, I'm only interested
in one variety - sharks.

Yes, I'm doing a shark dive.

Shark diving is not an excursion
that Divina offers.

I'm off on my own on this one.

And for $89, I'll be fulfilling
a lifetime ambition.

This is not in a cage. I'm not
going to be in a cage shark diving.

I'm actually diving...

..with the sharks. I really hope
they've have summat to eat

before I get in there! Cos there's
a bit of tasty little flesh on me

and they might be having it
for dinner!

I'm now in the Dutch half of
the island

and about to do my first dive
in 17 years.

I've done my test dive
and I know I'm in safe hands

because these guys do it every day -

and so far, everyone has come back
in one piece.

We're going to go to the boat

and we're going to take you for
a great dive. OK. Can't wait.

Yay!

Astrid has lived here
for seven years.

She came on holiday, fell in love
with the place,

gave up her job in Germany
and never looked back.

She loves the sharks.

You found the dream job

and you decided to close the door
on the rat race?

Yeah. We earn enough to live, and
then we save some money... Uh-huh.

..and then we go sailing.

Yeah. And then the money's gone.

Yeah. Then we are coming back
and working again.

What a great way of life!

We love it. We work all year

for two weeks of what you're doing
all the time.

Yeah. I think we've got it
a bit wrong!

THEY LAUGH

Well, are you ready for the sharks?
I think so. OK.

You jump in the water,
go down a little bit on the line,

and then we go to the bottom.
We sit it on the bottom.

And in that moment we sit it on
the bottom, we touch ground,

probably sharks will be swimming
above us... OK.

..you know, towards us,
away from us.

And the only thing I'll ask you,
for safety, don't move your arms,

don't try to touch the sharks.
Oh. OK? Don't worry. I won't.

THEY LAUGH
And don't be afraid.

Don't move yourself away.

Just let them do whatever
they need to do. OK. OK?

Coming up, I get up close and
personal with our fishy friends

and enjoy some sexy salsa moves!

Are you married?
HE LAUGHS

I'm married, yes. Oh. You sure?

I'm on a tropical cruise
around the Caribbean,

and I'm about to dive into
an underwater rendezvous

with the shark world.

And now it's about to happen,
I can't pretend I'm not nervous.

I promise you... Look at me.

I promise you you're going to
love it. Thank you...

Now, one hand.

And the other one.
A little higher. OK.

And just take two breaths like...
SHE INHALES

Here we go!

So basically, as soon as
she's in the water,

she's going down a little bit,
maybe one or two feet.

Because when you're going down,
the pressure down there,

it's getting bigger.

Then she's going down
slowly, slowly, slowly.

This dive site is one of
my favourite ones.

When you see all the creatures
down there, it's really beautiful

and it's a completely
different world.

People who are doing the shark dive
get nervous going down there

because you don't know
what to expect.

The sharks are coming, and then
they may be coming in big circles

because they are curious.

You know, there's something
going on down there.

Then you see that they are not
these monsters coming immediately

after you because they are really
gentle and beautiful swimmers,

and then it's...
Basically, what you do,

it's like watching Discovery Channel
live and in colour.

And she's down there for now
20 to 25 minutes,

so I think she really enjoys it.

Oh, my God! Just unbelievable!

Fantastic! Better than I could
have ever imagined.

It was just fabulous.

Fabulous!

THEY SCREAM

I hadn't realised just what a treat
it'd been to be a diver till now.

That was one of the best experiences
I've ever had.

Yay!

That was amazing! Wasn't it?
It really was.

That's just bucket list stuff,
you know.

THEY CHEER

Theme nights are a parts
of cruising.

And tonight, it's Italian Night.

I'm exhausted after my dive
and I'm not leaving my cabin,

but I'm joining in
thanks to room service.

Well, there's seven restaurants
on this ship, all fabulous.

I could have anything tonight...

..but sometimes,
all you really fancy doing

is staying in with a pizza.

And that - Woo! -
is what I'm going to do.

I still can't believe
I've been diving.

Ended up to be one of the best
things I've done in years.

I loved every minute of it.
Absolutely fantastic.

I feel as if I've achieved
something today,

which probably sounds a bit...

Blegh!

..but I do feel so proud
at what I done today.

I'm in this calmness, thinking,

"Oh, hey! What you done!"

I've got to die somehow.
I've survived sharks!

It's a new day, and now
we're on our way back to Miami

via a stopover in San Juan,
capital of Puerto Rico.

Puerto Rico was discovered
by Christopher Columbus in 1493,

just after he found America.

It was a Spanish stronghold in
the Caribbean for hundreds of years.

And the architecture in San Juan

is classic 16th-century
Spanish colonial. It's stunning.

The ship offers loads of excursions
at every port.

Today, I'm playing it safe
and trying one they've laid on.

It's my first excursion today.
I'm quite excited.

You see, it's great
being on an excursion

cos you meet lots of people
that you would normally not meet.

And even when you're on your own
like me,

cos I'm on me own on this...

I know you're sort of here,
but I'm on me own, really.

And you never know - you might meet
another husband or a wife.

There you go!

I don't want one,
but somebody else might!

Right, where do I go now? Erm...

Hi, good morning. Good morning.

I'm here for Tour 15?

OK, great! The coffee tasting,
right? That's right, yes.

OK, so this will be your
sticky number for today. OK.

Please put it somewhere visible...
All right. ..and have a seat,

relax and just listen for
the announcements. I will.

Thank you very much.

It's... Oh! 15.

All right? Hello, I'm Jane.

So are we all big coffee buffs?

ALL: Yeah! Yeah?

I've got a confession to make.
I don't really like coffee.

I'm glad. I didn't want to admit
that going on a coffee excursion.

Oh, I'm glad, Valerie!
I'm a bit Mellow Bird's myself.

I love the smell of it... Yes.
..and I like the idea of it.

I might actually like it, you see?
This is why I'm doing this.

We might be converted!
THEY LAUGH

Hello, everyone! Are you ready
for your tour? Yes! OK, great!

You see, I'm from Wakefield,
so a cup of tea is really my,

well, cup of tea.

But Puerto Rico is famous for
its coffee.

So, when in Rome, or San Juan...

Ready to have the best coffee in
the world?

Yeah.

OK, fantastic. This way, please.

Coffee used to be the thing which
put Puerto Rico on the map.

Now, it's famous for being the
birthplace of both Ricky Martin

and the pina colada.

You know, I'm not sure which I
fancy more.

Our host, Joaquim Gonzalez, is a
prize winning barrister.

No, barista.

Has this got something to do with me
making coffee?

That is for tasting, to know the
difference between good and bad

and different origins.

And you become a cupper.

I'm a professional cupper. That's
what I do.

So you cup for a living?

Yes.

Means something completely
different in England.

First, he's going to show us the
difference between

good and bad coffee.

This is bad coffee.

It's fermented. Overroasted.

Is that why it's bitter?

That's why it's bitter.

I specialise myself in good coffee.

This is good coffee.

That smells lovely.

This really smells nice.

Am I going to be converted
to coffee?

This is honestly the first
time I've ever been excited

about a cup of coffee.

Thank you.

We can put it here.

Thank you very much.

And I'm here to serve you,
all right?

Are you really here to serve me?

Yes. Well, I like the sound of that.

Actually, it's not bad.

San Juan is our longest stopover on
this cruise.

So I've got time to do something
I never did when I visited his crew.

I've been to Puerto Rico about 150
times, I've never been this far.

Being a crew member, I was too tired
to pay for a cab, or as bus fare

all the way out here.

And there was always a worry
that you'd miss the ship,

so, you would never come
out this far.

Did you ever miss the ship?

Yeah.

What happened? Twice.

I got drunk on a beach.

In the early days, there was no
electronics to get on, so,

they didn't even know I were off.

So, thankfully, I've left my wallet
with me, that paid for flight,

and I just joined the ship the next
day and nobody knew.

I can't believe I've just
admitted that.

Puerto Rico has more than 300 miles
of sandy beaches

and I'm heading off to check out
Luquillo Beach,

just 26 miles east of San Juan.

I could sit on a beach all day.

No problem whatsoever.

This is my idea of heaven now.

I love it.

I love the beach.

I love the water.

I love the sea.

What more could you want?

And just when I thought it couldn't
get any better.

Oh, hello.

Trouble is I'm old enough to be
his mother.

Where are you guys from?

We're from England.

Frank. Hello, Frank.

Francisco. Francisco.

Hola. Como estas? Very nice to
meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Rafael. Rafael.

Rafael. Si. Yeah. Where are
you from?

We're from New York.

Well, he was born here.

My family was born here.

Yeah. Si. Yeah.

You guys are together, yeah?

Yeah.

Today, actually, we're celebrating
our one year anniversary.

This is our one year anniversary.

Well, congratulations.

Thank you.

We are planning our wedding.

We get married October 1st, 2017.

Oh, wow.

So we're excited about that.

So tell us a little bit about what
you do.

I'm a singer.

You're a singer? You're a singer?

Yeah.

Salsa is the heartbeat of Puerto
Rico and it pours out of the doors

and windows of every bar on
every street.

I've heard there's a guy here at
La Factoria

who's a world-class bartender,
Mario Seijo.

And guess what I'm ordering?

Could I have a pina colada?

Sure, so this is Don Q rum.

Yeah. This is special bottling from
the 1940s.

It is actually the original that was
used for the first pina colada

in 1954, if I am not mistaken.

This rum is from the same batch

that was used to make the original
pina colada.

So, this was 50 cents then.

How much is this worth now?

Now, well, in an auction,

It could be up to $1,000.

$1,000. Wow.

I'm very blessed today.

Thank you so much.

We are. Yeah, we are.

We both are. We are.

So, this is the original
recipe you're doing now?

Yes, a little bit of coconut cream,

freshly juiced pineapple

and then the thousand dollar bottle
of Don Q. Oh, my God!

Does it go off?

Does it go off at all?

No.

That would be one of the most
expensive pina colada's ever made.

Mmm!

How's that?

Oh, my! So good!

Like it?

Oh, my goodness, me.

That is a gorgeous recipe.

Nights out like this with my
new-found friends

are one of the reasons I'm addicted
to cruising.

This one has had it all.

Sun, sea and salsa.

What an experience.

Back, two, three.

Tell me when you want to turn.

Next time.

Right.

Not this time. Coming up.

Oh, I missed.

We've got it, girls.

Speak for yourself.

Come on, then, girls.

We're going back.

Off we go.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

One, two, three...

Coming up, I set off for my next
cruise around the party loving

island of Cuba.

I'm on the second leg of my
Caribbean Cruise,

and this time we're sailing
around Cuba.

So where better to start than the
Spanish colonial capital of Havana?

Look at this!
This is happening in the street!

Come with me to the Havana, baby!

It's fabulous! It's sexy! It's
vibrant! It's hot!

And I love it.

No other city beats to a rhythm
like Havana.

Tourism is only just starting to
take off.

So get a quick while, it's still got
its sass.

There's music everywhere.

I haven't been here for 24 hours
and I'm already smitten.

It's got a hint of Spain,

and the heat of the Caribbean,

but it's got a feel all of its own
does Cuba.

Nowhere is like this.

Look at these pink cars.

We've got to go in one of them!

The buildings are crazy.

Half of Cuba looks like it
needs finishing.

What does the other half look like?

It's finished.

So, some of it is absolutely all
finished and looks magnificent.

And it's fabulous.

And then next door, you think,

"They've run out of money."

Cuba couldn't be more different from
our disposable society.

Here, they keep and fix everything.

Well, they have to.

Since the revolution in 1959,
it's been pretty much isolated

from the rest of the world.

Nowadays, it's all change and
tourists are welcome everywhere

and where there's tourists,
there's souvenirs

and they even take credit cards now.

When you're in a different country,
you just see loads of things

that you think I'm going up to
buy that,

and when you get them home, they end
up in your loft.

But it don't matter cos it's
part of the experience.

And you've got to buy a little bit
of the economy as well.

Come on, let's be honest.

I need a hat.

Don't forget, I know I've said
this before,

but when you go on your holidays,

Don't bother in a hat.

because they never look right when
you packed them anyway.

And just buy another one when you
get there.

They're not that expensive.

All right. Watch this all cost a
fortune now.

What do you think?

I like this one.

Perfect.

I like the man and the woman.

Yeah, I'll have both.

Two. Thank you very much.

Have a good day.

Bye.

I love to shop, you know, I think
it's a bit of an illness with me.

But look, I've got a little
thing here.

Hello.

SINGS IN SPANISH

Yeah.

Are we doing that?

Is this a love song?

Canta conmigo.

Quieremes?

Quiereme.

Quiermes. I haven't had as much to
drink as you.

Bon qui te llamas?

Bon qui te llamas.

Perfect! Thank you for that love
song!

Thank you very much.

Everywhere I look, I see life,
passion and colour.

I've never fallen in love with a
city before.

But, Havana, I'm hooked.

I've been here a day and I know
I haven't even touched the sides.
But I'll be back in a week.

And right now, there's a ship
arriving and I need to get on
board.

Hola! Senora? Cruise ship.

Cruise ship? Le barco.

Shhhh, shhhh.

Boat. Hoooo! Hoooo!

HE SPEAKS SPANISH
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

You like Havana? Oh, yes!

Fabulous place! Fabulous! You?

We'd be rubbish in a relationship,
me and him, wouldn't we?

Epic everywhere you look.

It's just so different
to anything else.

And that's what I'm loving.

Thank you. Gracias.

Gracias. Gracias. Gracias.

Ships are like books.
Never judge them by the cover.

Look at this! This is my new home!

The Crystal is an older vessel
and I don't think
she'll mind me saying that.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

She started life as a ferry
in the Mediterranean

and now she's living the dream
here in the Caribbean.

Oh, it's like a yacht! I feel like
the Queen on the Britannia.

Red carpet, look at that.

Hello. Ooh.

That's it, I can cruise now? Yes.
Thank you! At last, you are inside.

I'm inside the ship with air-con!

All ships have their own character
and atmosphere

and already I know I'm going to
love the small-ship feel.

This is old-school cruising.

And I'm looking for 7204.

So I'm here. So I'm that way.

Is that right?

I think it's that one. I found it.
God, that were easy, wasn't it?

Usually I'm walking for miles!

Ah! Well, this is nice, isn't it?

I've got a balcony. Look at this.

I like this.

That's where I'm going to get my
tan, have a cup of tea on a morning.

We're sailing right round Cuba,

starting in Havana,
then south to Cienfuegos.

Then a quick day trip
down to Montego Bay in Jamaica,

then back to Santiago de Cuba
in the south.

And then home to Havana.

But before we set sail, there's one
more thing I have to do.

Hello! You all right?
Yeah. Where you off to?

I'm going to, erm,
Havana's Club Tropicana.

You see, the thing is, at home,
we don't do anything.

Cos, you know, people think
I've got this really glamorous life,

and unless I'm working,
I don't go out at all.

So for me, this is hugely exciting!
I'm going out!

I think that you need an umbrella
cos it's raining very hard outside.

Is it strong? Yes. Really strong
rain. Enjoy your night. Monsoon?

Thank you. I will enjoy. Thank you.
You're welcome.
And thank you for the brolly.

THUNDER BOOMS
Oh, my goodness!

I need this like a hole in t'head,
don't I? Right, this is...

This is quite bad weather, isn't it?
Hang on a minute. Just one minute.

THUNDER BOOMS

I came prepared.
Now let's go clubbing.

THUNDER BOOMS
Agh!

The rain here is not like
the rain in Wakefield.

THUNDER BOOMS
It's like a warm shower!

Ta-da!

Look at the state of me now!

I look a bit like a Smurf
cos of all the blue lights.

But me toenails...
SHE LAUGHS

They're amazing! Look at that!

SHE LAUGHS

This is THE Club Tropicana that
George Michael wrote his song
about.

Club Tropicana...
drinks are not free.

Beyonce came here last year
and joined in with the dancers.

I think I'll stay in me seat.

Oh, look!
CUBAN MUSIC

Look at all these people!

There's a lot of flesh,
but it's very sexy flesh.

Today we're heading for Cienfuegos.
Now, I wonder what's for lunch.

Ooh! Ooh, it's barbecue.

I love a bit of a barbie.

I missed breakfast because of
me late night and I'm starving.

Hello! Would you like to have
some fresh meat?

Er, yeah. You can't beat having
a bit of fresh meat, love, can you?

You want a small piece or big one?
If the cameras weren't rolling,
I'd take the biggest.

SHE LAUGHS

This is what happens on a cruise
ship. You start the line and you
like everything on it.

And that's why usually people
on cruise ships have a plate...
like that.

It's just basically greedy.

Ooh, hello.

Gosh, look at the melons there.
That's an art form, isn't it?

It's not every day you see a melon
with a face on it, is it?

Oh, that is really good.

It's the end of the season here,
so the ship isn't full.

Sometimes that doesn't work,
but here it does.

Everything is just...well,
it feels so relaxed and chilled.

Tonight's a big night on board.

It's the captain's cocktails,

so I've started my preparations
early.

All the passengers
get to meet the man in charge,

which is exciting.

The captain's cocktail
is a huge night on a ship

cos it's when everybody's
in their finery,

er, there's always one dress
that you look fabulous in

that you've bought for the cruise

and tonight's the night you wear it.

It's very exciting, you know?

What's the captain like, Danielle?

The captain? Yeah.
Yeah, he is so good.

Is he nice? Really, so nice.

Aww. Is he handsome?

Handsome?

No?

OK.
SHE LAUGHS
Handsome?

Han... Good-looking?
Yeah, he good-looking.
Oh, he's good-looking. He is young.

Things are looking up!
Is he married?

Yeah. Yeah.

Right. Exciting night.
Put my light out.

Right. I love this bit.

Hello!

There's the queue.

It's like waiting to see Santa.
It's very exciting.

Hello! How are you? I'm really well!

Allow me to introduce our captain.
Oh, hello!

Hello, captain. Jane comes
from England. Very nice to meet you.

Hello! Do you mind if I join you?
Can I join you? Yes!

Is that all right?
Aren't this band amazing?

We listen to them every night
and sometimes
we're the only ones in here.

Really? We stay until they finish.
I love them! They're fabulous!

CUBAN MUSIC

APPLAUSE

It's old-school fun. That theatre
is one of the best I've ever seen

cos it's like a proper cabaret
venue.

Not only is the entertainment
absolutely brilliant,

but they've got a live band, which
you don't often see on ships now.

CUBAN MUSIC

Tonight I might go out
and find where the party is

because, actually, it's everywhere
on this ship. So cheers.

We left Havana 24 hours ago

and are heading south to Cienfuegos,
known as the Pearl of the South.

Morning. Are you coming in?

I'm excited.
I have a salsa lesson today and
I think I've got the perfect skirt.

I got it from a charity shop
at home.

Look.

Now, I'm sorry, but that's
proper good... Look at that!

It's got flounce on it, look.

You know what I mean?

Two of them, I think they were
about £12 for both of them.

So I'll probably get more wear
out of these on this cruise.

And then, you know,
if I don't do another Cuban cruise,
cos I've done one now,

I'll probably give them back
to the charity shop.

Coming up...

Uno, dos...

..I slip into some sensational
salsa moves...

Woo!

..and try some al fresco dining,
Jamaican style.

I do feel like I'm in a dream.

I'm cruising round the
Caribbean,

and now we're in Cienfuegos,
in Cuba,

a world heritage site on account of
its urban planning.

And I can see why.
The streets are nice and wide

and there's not a problem
with parking.

Wakefield Council, are you
listening?

I'm here to dance myself dizzy

and I've roped in some of my mates
from the crew for moral support.

Minnie from the shop and Sonny and
Vlad from the entertainment team.

So, Jane, let me introduce you
to a friend of mine.

His name is Joyo.

My teach, Joyo, is one of the
world's best salsa teachers.

He's back here on holiday -
lucky fella!

One more time?

CUBAN MUSIC

SHE LAUGHS

SHE SQUEALS

Very nice! And forward!

Cinco, seis...

Nailed it. Nailed it. Come on!

And a surprise for you.

And turn. Oh, oh, oh.

Woo! Oh, yes!
SHE LAUGHS

Ooh, I quite like that bit.

One, two, one...

Feeling a bit fabulous
and a bit smug, actually.

Cos I'm into it, I'm going for it.

Just cos there's snow on the roof,
doesn't mean to say
the fire's gone out, you know?

SHE LAUGHS

OK! I'm back! Good.

HE SPEAKS SPANISH

These are Jimmy Choos.
SHE LAUGHS

HE SPEAKS SPANISH

OK.

This OK? Perfect.

CUBAN MUSIC

Uno...

HE SPEAKS SPANISH

OK. Open and release.

Open, release. Are you married?

HE LAUGHS
Yes. Are you sure?

THEY LAUGH

And uno and dos and tres

and cuatro. Uno and dos...

Yay! Gracias. Thank you.

You did great! So did you!

We did it, we did it.
HE SPEAKS SPANISH

CUBAN MUSIC

I understand now
why they're all so fit.

Cos they all do all this isolation,
don't they?

Ooh! It moved!
Did you see that? It moved!

It... Oh, look! It's moving!

Oh, I've got it now. I'm tribal.

We left Cuba behind us
and headed south to Jamaica

and I've just woken up
in Montego Bay.

Apart from Florida, 103 miles away,

Jamaica is Cuba's closest
Caribbean neighbour.'

STEEL DRUMS PLAY

Oh, look at this!

Oh, this is a bit fab, isn't it?

This is the beach in Jamaica
and it's paradise.

SHE GASPS
Look at that sea.

Ohh. It's just really relaxed.

It's completely different to Cuba.

And I've been told there is
an unusual dining experience here,

not to be missed.

How do you get out there? Hi!

How you doing? I'm Jane.

Aww, what's your name? Trace. Trace.

How do I get out there? Just walk.

I... How... I just... Do I?

Just walk.
You just walk on water. Right.

Ooh!

I've done some mad things
for this series, but eating lunch
on a home-made Rasta raft

in the middle of the Caribbean
really takes the biscuit.

So, how you finding Jamaica,
my lady? Oh, it's just so fabulous,
Jerome. I love it.

I'm called Jane.
You don't have to call me my lady.

That's so very nice of you, though.
SHE LAUGHS

OK, Jane, definitely.
The sun complements you very nicely.

Yes, this is the finest dining
you can get in Jamaica, you know?

Thought it was
Cruising With Jane McDonald?

Now it's Dining With Jane McDonald
Jamaican style.

I do feel like I'm in a dream

cos this is just
what dreams are made of,

sat here right now in the beautiful
breeze of this hot weather

and, er, and having fresh seafood
just prepared.

Rocky the fisherman
has been down here
and caught all this fantastic fish

and he's just cooking for me now.

It doesn't get any better than this,
really, does it?

I'm really quite hungry, as well,
so...I'm really going to enjoy this.

Hope you're hungry
because we have a whole lot of food
and fruits for you.

Oh, smashing! All right!

Respect Jamaican style.

You're amazing, you are.

Thank you, thank you.
And such a great cook, as well, man.

Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you so much. Thank you.

You're very good company, too.
SHE LAUGHS

She's eating up that food
like crazy. It's good. I know.

It's so good. Yeah. Really good.

Next stop, Santiago de Cuba

in the far south of the island.

STEEL DRUMS PLAY

We have docked this morning
in Santiago de Cuba.

Look at that.

Look at the beautiful day there.

All this...
All these things to explore,

all these adventures to have.

All with you.

So I think I'd like to go off today.

Ooh.
Summat's just dropped on me head.

Oh, are you painting?
Hello! Hello! Morning.

Are you painting?
No, we put the grease.

Oh, you're putting grease. Great.

Just got grease in me hair. Ooh!

SHE LAUGHS

Maybe not... I've just got drenched.

Santiago de Cuba
is the home of Bacardi rum

and the city where Fidel Castro
began the revolution.

It's like Wacky Races
everywhere you look. It's so busy.

Get off the road.

See what I mean? Look. I mean,
it's just everywhere you look.

It's just so busy and so loud!

HORNS BLARE
It's like...

It's like La La Land in Cuba.
It's mad.

CUBAN MUSIC PLAYS
See, there's probably
a party going on in here.

Hello! Hello. How are you?
Is there a party going on?

Yeah, it is a party.
Can I go in there?

Yes! Yes! Are you sure? Yes, sure.

Right. Wait, wait, wait.

Oh, my God, I'm getting stamped!
Yes.

Oh, it really is like
an old-fashioned Yorkshire disco.

Thank you! Yes. Thank you!

Come on in here!

CUBAN MUSIC

This is ace! This is ace!

CUBAN MUSIC

SHE LAUGHS

Oh, my God, look at this!

Wow!

I've just walked into a musical!
It's bizarre!

HE PLAYS TRUMPET
A band in somebody's house.

BAND PLAY CUBAN MUSIC
There's people dancing.

It's 20 past 12,
everybody's drinking rum!

Not everybody. Nope.

I need to drink some rum!

I need a drink.

Cheers, everyone!

I think we're going to have to do it
all in sign language

cos it's seriously loud in here!

CUBAN MUSIC

Santiago de Cuba
is the musical capital of the island
and the birthplace of salsa.

It's closer to Haiti than Havana.

CUBAN MUSIC

If Havana is hot, Santiago
sizzles.

HE PLAYS TRUMPET

No-one knows how to party
like the Cubans.

HE PLAYS TRUMPET

It is amazing!

Coming up, back in Havana...

Is this for me? Yes, this is
just for you! Oh, look at this!

And I finally get to ride
in a pink Cadillac!

All I need now is a cigar.
Oh, my God. And a glass of rum.

You tell me
and we can go to the place.

We're back in Havana.

It's our last day,
and I'd do it all again if I could.

This place has got
right under my skin.

Ooh. Ooh, oh, hello!
SHE LAUGHS

It takes a lot to get me up early,
but I wanted to see
as much of Havana as I could,

so I've skipped breakfast
and come for a wander.

Cuba's like the sleeping beauty.

It's been hidden away from most of
us for over 50 years

and it's only just catching up
with the modern world.

Everywhere I look, there are
reminders of its revolutionary past

and I just hope its future
does that past justice.

This actual cruise
book you in these trips,

they book you
on one of these amazing cars.

So I've booked myself in!
Come on, let's go and have a ride!

Oh, wow! Look at this! Is this
for me? Yes, this is just for you!

Wow! Oh, look at this!
I'm going round Cuba in this!

Oh, that's like...
Hello. Are you the driver?
Yeah, I'm the driver. Oh, hello!

My name is Alexis. Nice to meet you.
Alex.

Alex. Yeah, you can call me Alex.
Are you married?

Er, not yet. Not yet. Woo!

Woohoo! OK. I feel like
a film star! It's great, isn't it?

I'm so happy! And you're lovely!
Thank you very much.

It's so colourful
and the people are so alive

and it's great, isn't it?
This is Cuba.

We love music. Yeah!
We laugh all the time.

I need to live here! Yes.
THEY LAUGH

So, where do these get imported
from? How do the cars get here?

Mainly through America. Yeah.
They came from America before '59.

Wow. They've all been here since
'59? Yes. The revolution in '59.
Yeah.

Most of the rich families,
they abandoned the island.

Yeah. But, of course,
they had to leave the cars here.

And there's a lot! We don't know
the number exactly, but many.

Many. All over Cuba. Mainly Havana,
but all over Cuba. Wow.

These cars, a few years ago,
nobody wants it. No.

Maybe you can buy it
for 2,000, 3,000.

Right now, 15,000. Wow. 30,000. Wow.

This part of the old Havana
is called Centro Habana.

Centro Habana. Yes.

The colours are so vibrant,
aren't they? Yeah.

It's a Caribbean island,
we love yellow, orange...
Coral, pinks, everything.

All I need now is a cigar.
Oh, my God. And a glass of rum.

You tell me
and we can go to the place.

Ohh. Thank you! Gracias.

Cheers. Salut. Salut.

Whoa!

That's like boom in my mouth!

That is so good! I'm jealous.

THEY LAUGH
Poor boy. He cannot drink.

ALL: It's hot, it's sticky,
it's fantastic,

it's Havana, baby!

THEY CHEER

This reminds me of my very first
ship I did years ago.

It's typical old-fashioned cruising

and I've loved every minute
of the charm of it,

with the amazing staff,

the family-like atmosphere,

the fun,

and this takes me back
to the love affair

that I have with cruising.

I feel like I've been in a musical
all week.

Everywhere you went, there was
a beat, there was a beat of music,

and it was like
the heartbeat of Cuba.

Cuba is passionate,

erotic, sexy...

..addictive.

And you know what?
I want to come back.

CUBAN MUSIC

# Cuba

# Quiero bailar la salsa

# You dance to the music
like nobody does

# The first time I saw you

# I knew it was love

# Cuba

# Quiero bailar la salsa

# Cuba

# Quiero bailar la salsa

# My heart is on fire

# The night is divine

# My only desire

# Is making you mine

# You're the one

# That I want

# You're the one

# Yes, you are

# Cuba

# Quiero bailar la salsa

# Cuba

# Quiero bailar la salsa

# When you're in motion

# You seem not to care

# You hide your emotions

# Your joy, your despair

# You're the one

# That I want

# You're the one

# Yes, you are

# Cuba

# Quiero bailar la salsa

# Cuba. #

What?

Subtitles by Red Bee Media