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1
00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:06,338
[plaintive guitar playing]
2
00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:14,175
It's hotter than Satan's asshole.
I'm building a water park.
3
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:17,600
As much as I love soaking
in the soup of my fellow men,
4
00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:21,811
I'm afraid there's no room in the budget
for a water park, King Merriman.
5
00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:23,733
Water parks pay for themselves!
6
00:00:23,734 --> 00:00:24,857
You hear that?
7
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:28,398
It'd be irresponsible not to build
a water park, Blinkerquartz!
8
00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:31,113
With what money?
We'd have to mortgage the castle!
9
00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:34,121
When it comes to mortgages,
I know the term "castle default swap"
10
00:00:34,122 --> 00:00:35,326
sounds misleading, but...
11
00:00:35,327 --> 00:00:38,407
Sold! Your haircut makes me trust you.
12
00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:41,711
You defaulted on the mortgage,
and now the bank owns the castle.
13
00:00:41,712 --> 00:00:43,998
We'll have to slash the military budget.
14
00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:47,758
Thank you for selling me
all your military surplus.
15
00:00:47,759 --> 00:00:50,586
This better not come back
to bite me in the ass.
16
00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:54,812
Bandits just stole all the cattle
with a shitload of military surplus.
17
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,769
Sorry. This is just a thing I do
when I'm nervous.
18
00:00:57,770 --> 00:00:59,806
Okay, no steaks for a while,
19
00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:02,310
but we can use the grazing land
to plant grain.
20
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:05,481
Nobody's gonna starve.
I've got this under control.
21
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:11,152
I'll trade you all your grain
for these magic beans.
22
00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:13,074
- Done.
- Holy fucking hell.
23
00:01:13,075 --> 00:01:14,991
Finally. Problem solved.
24
00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:17,201
Now, I've got a date with a lazy river.
25
00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:19,245
- [thwacking]
- [groans]
26
00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:21,996
- [groaning continues]
- [squeaking]
27
00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:24,208
- Oh, come on!
- [Blinkerquartz sighs]
28
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:25,999
I've got you.
29
00:01:26,879 --> 00:01:30,549
And that's why I burned down
the water park for the insurance money.
30
00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:34,507
Was the water park insured?
31
00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:38,468
Fuckin' beans!
[groans]
32
00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:40,233
[shattering]
33
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:46,226
[theme music plays]
34
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:51,395
[crowd shouting]
35
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,282
Oh. There you are, beans!
36
00:01:54,283 --> 00:01:56,331
ANGRY VILLAGER FRAN:
Oi! You, boy!
37
00:01:56,332 --> 00:01:59,575
Tell the king to suck me balls!
38
00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:01,828
We're starving out here!
39
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,497
Okay. Will do.
40
00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:05,498
Great. Cheers, mate!
41
00:02:05,501 --> 00:02:08,044
Ah, those poor people.
42
00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:09,754
Maybe you're not magic beans,
43
00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:12,255
but at this point we could use
some regular beans, too.
44
00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:15,507
I bet all you need is a helping hand
to get started.
45
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,638
I believe in you, beans.
46
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,640
SLOANE [whispering]
I believe in you, too.
47
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:23,730
- Beans, is that you?
- [Sloane giggling]
48
00:02:23,731 --> 00:02:26,977
- [chicken clucking]
- Do you always talk to dirt?
49
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:29,565
[romantic saxophone music]
50
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,526
[speaking gibbering]
51
00:02:31,527 --> 00:02:33,897
[Sloane giggles]
52
00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:36,816
Chicken soup for dinner again.
53
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,324
- Ah!
- [thuds]
54
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:40,575
Wish the bandits hadn't
stolen all our cows.
55
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:42,495
[romantic music continues]
56
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:45,496
- [blood gushing]
- [splattering]
57
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:48,589
[voice breaking]
Hi, I'm Patrick. I'm a squire.
58
00:02:48,590 --> 00:02:50,995
I'm Sloane. I work in the kitchen.
59
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,594
Oh, let me grab that for you.
[grunts]
60
00:02:53,595 --> 00:02:55,590
- [spraying]
- [sputtering]
61
00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,092
[Patrick groaning]
62
00:02:57,094 --> 00:03:00,054
[spits]
So, uh, ah,
63
00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:02,715
do you, uh, behead chickens here often?
64
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:04,433
Actually, this was my last one.
65
00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:07,022
With the budget cuts,
kitchen staff's getting laid off.
66
00:03:07,023 --> 00:03:08,399
I was gonna stay with my aunt,
67
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,977
but her condo burned in that
mysterious water park fire.
68
00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:15,403
[sucks air through teeth]
Oh, no. That's terrible.
69
00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:17,451
Well, maybe now I'll finish my novel.
70
00:03:17,452 --> 00:03:20,326
It's about a depressed kitchen maid
who can't feed her family.
71
00:03:20,327 --> 00:03:22,485
Wow. Things are worse than I thought.
72
00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:26,622
Oh, yeah. It's a shitshow.
I hear squires might be next.
73
00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:30,253
But don't listen to me.
I'm just a depressed kitchen maid
74
00:03:30,254 --> 00:03:31,802
who can't feed her family.
75
00:03:31,803 --> 00:03:35,915
Oh! The novel's about you.
76
00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:38,014
ANGRY VILLAGER FRAN:
Oi! Haircut!
77
00:03:38,015 --> 00:03:40,636
Stop talking that girl's tits off,
78
00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:43,767
and get busy telling the king
to suck me balls!
79
00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:45,979
Sounds like you have a lot to do.
80
00:03:45,980 --> 00:03:47,386
Anyways, too bad I'm leaving.
81
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,774
Would've been nice
to get to know you, Patrick.
82
00:03:49,775 --> 00:03:52,356
B-bye, Sloane!
83
00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:56,027
Did you hear that, beans?
She wishes she could get to know me.
84
00:03:56,028 --> 00:03:59,778
You're right. Maybe I can save her job.
I'll talk to the king.
85
00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:01,991
I love you, little buddies.
86
00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:04,492
[makes kissing noises, then coughs]
87
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:07,124
- [sword clanks]
- [shimmering]
88
00:04:09,041 --> 00:04:12,129
Your highness, we're late
for the morning briefing!
89
00:04:12,130 --> 00:04:14,756
We have much to discuss,
and it's all bad.
90
00:04:14,757 --> 00:04:17,005
KING MERRIMAN:
Is there cake at the meeting?
91
00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:18,547
We had to cut the cake budget,
92
00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:20,550
which you would know,
if you came to the briefing.
93
00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:21,852
KING MERRIMAN:
No cake, no king.
94
00:04:21,853 --> 00:04:24,925
You can't hide in there, forever, sire.
The people are angry.
95
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:27,412
- KING MERRIMAN: Wha... What are they saying?
- [glass shattering]
96
00:04:27,436 --> 00:04:28,896
[clattering]
97
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:35,149
She's the most beautiful girl
I've ever met, Broth.
98
00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:39,487
Who knew someone could look
so sexy slitting a chicken's throat?
99
00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:43,368
Oh, boy. A castle smokeshow.
I can't wait to lay eyes on this broad.
100
00:04:43,369 --> 00:04:44,867
PATRICK:
She's right there. Look!
101
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:49,832
Where? That extremely average
potato maid is in the way.
102
00:04:49,833 --> 00:04:52,834
- Hey, lady! Quit blocking the view!
- What?
103
00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:56,165
S-shut up. That's her!
Isn't she gorgeous?
104
00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:59,421
BROTH:
Two eyes, a mouth, a nose. I mean,
105
00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:00,804
her face has all the parts.
106
00:05:00,805 --> 00:05:02,677
Aah. I know.
107
00:05:02,678 --> 00:05:05,508
- I can't let her get fired.
- BLINKERQUARTZ: Patrick.
108
00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:07,934
Get the king out of his room.
He can't hide all day.
109
00:05:07,935 --> 00:05:10,142
Here's some cheese and crackers
if you need backup.
110
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:13,441
Sometimes you have to make
a cheese trail and hide around the corner.
111
00:05:13,442 --> 00:05:15,608
KING MERRIMAN:
And then I told Blinkerquartz,
112
00:05:15,609 --> 00:05:17,477
"No cake, no king."
113
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:20,653
[as female doll] You're the cleverest king
in all the land. Kiss me!
114
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,870
[as male doll]
Now, now, you little starfucker.
115
00:05:22,871 --> 00:05:25,195
[as female doll]
Kiss me, or I'll kill myself!
116
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,788
[as male doll]
Let's not be hasty.
117
00:05:26,789 --> 00:05:29,705
[as female doll] I'm throwing myself
out the window. For love.
118
00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:32,496
What the hell?
119
00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:36,957
Merlin's merkin! My beans!
120
00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:38,629
My magic beans!
121
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:42,180
My sustained verbal abuse
and plant-shaming worked!
122
00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:49,015
Oh, that's weird.
Someone left a trail of snacky food.
123
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,136
Who will eat it?
124
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:53,819
Sire?
125
00:05:55,147 --> 00:05:58,065
What? The beans!
[laughs]
126
00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:01,236
I... I knew they just needed a little love.
127
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:06,281
Your maj... Sire!
128
00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:08,868
Be back never, motherfuckers!
129
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:11,579
Jesus Christ,
he's free-soloing the stock.
130
00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:14,080
He doesn't have
the upper body strength for that.
131
00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:16,626
I've gotta go after him. Or do I?
132
00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:20,417
If he's running away from his problems,
maybe I should, too.
133
00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:24,642
But if the king dies, the kingdom's
problems might only get worse.
134
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,142
[groans]
135
00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:31,482
[grunting]
136
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,647
- [crowd yelling]
- [panting]
137
00:06:35,648 --> 00:06:38,396
- [crowd yelling]
- [flames roaring]
138
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:42,398
Oh, God. Come back!
The kingdom needs you!
139
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:46,989
Fuck the kingdom. I'm free!
My new life starts today!
140
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:48,830
Where do you think this goes?
141
00:06:48,831 --> 00:06:51,325
I'll climb this baby to the moon!
142
00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:53,158
- [grunts]
- [leaf vibrates]
143
00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:55,423
- [whooshing]
- Whoa!
144
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,299
[grunts]
145
00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:00,460
- [whooshing]
- [thuds]
146
00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:06,175
- [chickens clucking]
- CORAL: Meh.
147
00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:08,926
Mom, Dad, we're here for Sunday dinner.
148
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:13,975
They're at a jigsaw puzzle convention?
149
00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:16,394
Ugh. God, Dad is so whipped.
150
00:07:16,395 --> 00:07:19,355
They left us twenty bucks for pizza.
Fuck, yeah!
151
00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:20,606
- [knocking]
- BLARNEY: Hey, man!
152
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:23,607
- Somebody get the door! Ha ha ha ha!
- Blarney, what the fuck?
153
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:26,070
Look what I found on the street!
154
00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:27,864
A big-ass bean!
155
00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:30,735
Please don't bring
your filthy street bean in here.
156
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:32,792
Aah. Eh, you think it's worth something?
157
00:07:32,793 --> 00:07:34,196
Absolutely not.
158
00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:37,504
Why is your bean moving?
159
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,291
- [tapping]
- [cracking]
160
00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:44,505
- [Beanie squealing]
- [all yelling]
161
00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:46,546
[Patrick huffing and puffing]
162
00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:48,926
There's nothing up here but clouds.
163
00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:51,345
Exactly. No meetings. No debt.
164
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:54,306
No uninsured water parks.
[grunts]
165
00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:58,058
- Holy shit!
- Sire? Sire!
166
00:08:00,022 --> 00:08:02,232
Are you okay? What...
167
00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:05,736
[Patrick sighs]
168
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:09,947
It's better than any Blanket Kingdom.
169
00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:13,238
Where... Where are we?
170
00:08:13,911 --> 00:08:15,369
Home.
171
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,370
[ethereal music playing]
172
00:08:22,044 --> 00:08:24,003
♪
173
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:26,464
That rainbow city looks far away.
174
00:08:26,465 --> 00:08:28,125
Patrick, carry me there.
175
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,843
- [thuds]
- [Patrick grunts]
176
00:08:31,053 --> 00:08:32,261
Oh. Wait.
177
00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:34,502
- [Wispies chattering]
- WISPIE: Look out! Big, big people!
178
00:08:34,526 --> 00:08:37,811
Aah! Big people are attacking! Help!
179
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:42,772
Easy now, Wispies.
Let's not fear the unknown.
180
00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:46,192
Let's welcome these strangers
with compassion!
181
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:50,696
Greetings! I am Mayor McCloud
of the Wispies.
182
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:54,027
Welcome to the
People's Republic of Nimbus!
183
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,914
Well, I'm Patrick,
and this is King Merriman.
184
00:08:56,915 --> 00:08:58,662
[all laughing]
185
00:08:58,664 --> 00:09:00,331
Did he say he's a king?
186
00:09:00,332 --> 00:09:04,042
[laughs] We haven't had
one of those in centuries!
187
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:07,634
No king? Then how do you know
which one of you is the best?
188
00:09:07,635 --> 00:09:09,549
Well, we're all the best.
189
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:12,885
I know! We'll explain it in a song!
190
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,646
- No. No, that's, that's...
- No, you're good.
191
00:09:14,670 --> 00:09:17,217
- Hit it, Gert!
- [upbeat show tune starts]
192
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:20,476
♪ This is Nimbus, guys,
our town is perfect ♪
193
00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:23,307
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
194
00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:26,858
♪ This is Nimbus, guys,
where everything's fair ♪
195
00:09:26,859 --> 00:09:29,735
♪ Fair and square ♪
196
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:32,655
♪ You get sick and don't pay a dime ♪
197
00:09:32,656 --> 00:09:35,406
♪ Trains are clean and run right on time ♪
198
00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:38,579
♪ Choo choo, Nimbus! ♪
199
00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:41,456
[playing horn solo]
200
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:53,839
♪ Guaranteed income
and fair pay for teachers ♪
201
00:09:53,844 --> 00:09:56,721
♪ Unhappy Wispies are mythical creatures ♪
202
00:09:56,722 --> 00:09:58,764
♪ Nimbus ♪
203
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:02,765
♪ Oh, gender's a construct
which makes us all equals ♪
204
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,979
♪ We all pay our taxes
and no one's deceitful ♪
205
00:10:05,981 --> 00:10:11,194
♪ Nimbus is the happiest place,
so put a smile on your face ♪
206
00:10:11,195 --> 00:10:14,775
[fireworks whistling and popping]
207
00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:19,449
Your town is amazing.
You have so many good ideas.
208
00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:20,453
I'm not sold.
209
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:24,634
♪ All we eat is caaaaa... aaaake! ♪
210
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:27,916
[munching]
211
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:31,170
Oh, fuck. Mm. That's good. Mm.
212
00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:33,007
We are never leaving.
213
00:10:33,008 --> 00:10:34,928
Seriously, Patrick. Try this.
214
00:10:34,929 --> 00:10:37,507
Our cake scene back home
is seriously subpar.
215
00:10:37,513 --> 00:10:40,932
I'm like a blind man seeing color
for the first time.
216
00:10:40,933 --> 00:10:43,559
[Beanie wailing]
217
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,480
For the love of God, make it stop!
218
00:10:45,481 --> 00:10:47,396
Coral, go do your thing!
219
00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:50,227
- My "thing"?
- Your maternal instincts.
220
00:10:50,234 --> 00:10:52,744
I think they're located in the boob area.
221
00:10:52,745 --> 00:10:55,946
Are you kidding me? I hate babies.
222
00:10:55,948 --> 00:10:59,198
Do you know how hard it is
to not get pregnant in this day and age?
223
00:10:59,201 --> 00:11:01,911
My high school nickname was
"The Comeback Kid."
224
00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:04,332
Why don't we just throw it in the river
and get some pizza?
225
00:11:04,333 --> 00:11:05,540
- Good plan.
- Agreed.
226
00:11:05,541 --> 00:11:07,881
[loud wailing]
227
00:11:09,795 --> 00:11:11,915
[sighs, then coos]
228
00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:15,261
Damn, that's cute.
229
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,094
[stomach growling]
230
00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:20,555
Ah, Beanie's hungry.
231
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,099
[all munching]
232
00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:26,850
- Wow, we're actually great parents!
- [chomping]
233
00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:29,484
- [Beanie cooing]
- Nah, nah, nah. This is Ruben's pizza.
234
00:11:29,485 --> 00:11:31,899
[Ruben yelling]
Get off!
235
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,580
- [pooping loudly]
- The fuck... Get... off...
236
00:11:33,604 --> 00:11:35,359
- Get the fuck off of me!
- Holy shit!
237
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:37,071
- [pooping continues]
- [both yelling]
238
00:11:37,072 --> 00:11:39,322
- [chomping]
- [Patrick chuckling]
239
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:40,743
Have you taken the tour?
240
00:11:40,744 --> 00:11:44,412
They've got an ethically sourced
food co-op, a-a windmill power grid,
241
00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:47,373
free childcare center, and don't even
have a word for unemployment.
242
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,667
And they have a vending machine
just for cake.
243
00:11:49,668 --> 00:11:50,458
Mm. [chomps]
244
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:54,005
Okay. Sire, this place is a utopia.
245
00:11:54,006 --> 00:11:57,046
These ideas could help us
out of our financial crisis back home.
246
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,430
Home? This is my home now, Patrick.
247
00:11:59,431 --> 00:12:01,508
The home with unlimited cake.
248
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:03,222
I love Nimbus, too.
249
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:06,980
But we have responsibilities at home.
The people need you.
250
00:12:06,981 --> 00:12:09,937
You go be responsible.
I'll be right here.
251
00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:11,355
- Cakin'.
- Hello!
252
00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:15,396
I'm not trying to embarrass anybody,
but I must ask.
253
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:19,071
Did one of you have
explosive diarrhea in the rainbow river?
254
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,574
- That's not the toilet?
- Oh, no.
255
00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:23,865
That's the source of
all of our drinking water.
256
00:12:23,869 --> 00:12:26,829
Sucks for you.
How about topping me off on this cake?
257
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:29,000
And there's another thing, my friend.
258
00:12:29,001 --> 00:12:31,419
You've already eaten
a month's worth of cake.
259
00:12:31,420 --> 00:12:32,918
It's meant to be shared.
260
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,379
Shared? [chuckles] But I'm the king.
261
00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:39,010
Weren't you listening during
the elaborate musical number?
262
00:12:39,011 --> 00:12:42,678
This is a republic. Leaders are elected,
and there are strict term limits!
263
00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:45,515
Not anymore. I'm the king now.
264
00:12:45,516 --> 00:12:49,766
- Your king demands cake!
- ["cake" echoing]
265
00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:51,320
Rah!
266
00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:55,900
[sighs] This always happens
when big people show up.
267
00:12:55,901 --> 00:12:57,781
Gert! Get the harpoons!
268
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,700
- Woo!
- BOTH: Go, go, go!
269
00:13:00,701 --> 00:13:02,657
Come on, you've got this! You can do it!
270
00:13:02,658 --> 00:13:03,448
- Yay!
- Yeah!
271
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:04,950
They grow up so fast.
272
00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:06,622
[Beanie giggling and babbling]
273
00:13:06,623 --> 00:13:09,789
- You're doing it, Beanie!
- [Beanie laughing]
274
00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,790
- [bike bell dings]
- RUBEN: There's our little star!
275
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,710
- Yeah, Beanie!
- Holy shit!
276
00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:18,052
- Oh, fuckin' awesome!
- [whirling]
277
00:13:18,053 --> 00:13:20,174
[both grunting and groaning]
278
00:13:20,175 --> 00:13:21,795
Untie your king!
279
00:13:21,802 --> 00:13:24,472
No, no, no, no.
Destruction of property.
280
00:13:24,473 --> 00:13:27,306
Poisoning the water. Excessive frowning.
281
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,177
These are serious crimes.
282
00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:32,814
But why am I under arrest?
I was an innocent bystander.
283
00:13:32,815 --> 00:13:35,693
Were you? Bystanding is a felony here.
284
00:13:43,115 --> 00:13:46,405
- This place sucks. Let's go home.
- Now you want to go?
285
00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:49,370
You ran away from your problems
like a child,
286
00:13:49,371 --> 00:13:54,081
and then when we had the chance to leave,
you chose cake, and threw a tantrum.
287
00:13:54,084 --> 00:13:57,253
Destroyed their non-denominational
faith space,
288
00:13:57,254 --> 00:13:59,213
and shat in their drinking water.
289
00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:02,762
Hey, maybe I'm not their king,
but I'm still your king,
290
00:14:02,763 --> 00:14:04,549
and I command you to get us out of here.
291
00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:08,264
I have been trying to help you all day,
292
00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:09,805
and you keep ignoring me.
293
00:14:09,808 --> 00:14:12,098
Mm. Who said that?
294
00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:14,312
- [thunder crashes]
- Hear that?
295
00:14:14,313 --> 00:14:17,523
You were mean to your king,
and now God's gonna kill you.
296
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,483
[thunder crashes]
297
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:22,114
Look. The beanstalk! It kept growing.
298
00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:25,114
[thunder booming]
299
00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:27,365
No song is gonna fix this.
300
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,577
What is it? What's up there?
301
00:14:30,287 --> 00:14:31,787
Giants!
302
00:14:33,457 --> 00:14:37,126
[laughing]
303
00:14:37,127 --> 00:14:40,257
You, there!
This monstrosity's blocking my light!
304
00:14:40,258 --> 00:14:41,715
Chop it down!
305
00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:46,224
This isn't over.
One day I'll get your precious butter.
306
00:14:46,225 --> 00:14:50,348
- [sword clanking]
- [chopping]
307
00:14:50,349 --> 00:14:53,229
- [muffled music through headphones]
- Beanie, did you clean your room?
308
00:14:53,230 --> 00:14:54,644
[babbling angrily]
309
00:14:54,645 --> 00:14:57,015
Don't talk back to me,
you fuckin' gremlin!
310
00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:59,774
- [whimpering]
- Oh. I didn't mean it.
311
00:14:59,775 --> 00:15:02,685
[frustrated crying]
312
00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:04,904
Beanie, I'm sorry!
313
00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:07,565
It's from Kingstown U. Ready?
314
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:11,911
Beanie... did... not get in! Fuck!
315
00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:13,412
He takes after you.
316
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,003
[thunder crashes]
317
00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:19,634
TYLER THE GIANT:
Fee-fi-fo-fum, bitches!
318
00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:22,625
[yelling]
319
00:15:23,715 --> 00:15:25,174
- [thuds]
- Ha ha!
320
00:15:25,175 --> 00:15:28,755
[Wispies yelling and chattering]
321
00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:30,346
Spring break!
322
00:15:30,347 --> 00:15:33,097
- [pounding]
- [grunting]
323
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:37,270
Uh. I'm done. Let's do some shots!
324
00:15:37,271 --> 00:15:39,689
[gulps]
Aah!
325
00:15:39,690 --> 00:15:42,316
Why did you never mention the giants?
326
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:44,737
TYLER THE GIANT:
Show me them Wispie titties!
327
00:15:44,738 --> 00:15:46,816
They've been gone for generations.
328
00:15:46,822 --> 00:15:50,449
In olden times, they enslaved us,
but even worse,
329
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,868
they're assholes!
330
00:15:51,869 --> 00:15:55,538
Check out the bling! Wassupppp?
331
00:15:55,539 --> 00:15:58,289
Who wants to get fuckin' faded?
332
00:15:58,292 --> 00:16:00,962
They're always bringing
their guitars to parties
333
00:16:00,963 --> 00:16:03,008
and talking about slammin' puss!
334
00:16:03,009 --> 00:16:05,005
And they all seem to be named Tyler.
335
00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:07,127
We banished them to the clouds above,
336
00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:10,182
but now your beanstalk has given them
a way to return!
337
00:16:10,183 --> 00:16:11,259
[guitar strumming]
338
00:16:11,263 --> 00:16:13,973
Oh, he's got his guitar out!
339
00:16:14,433 --> 00:16:17,693
Oh, great. You got an earring to go with
that shitty tattoo. [glass shattering]
340
00:16:17,694 --> 00:16:20,186
Is this midlife crisis
ever gonna end, Beanie?
341
00:16:20,189 --> 00:16:22,356
[babbling, hiccupping]
342
00:16:22,357 --> 00:16:23,607
[gulping]
343
00:16:23,609 --> 00:16:25,069
Are you drunk?
344
00:16:25,569 --> 00:16:28,239
- [chickens clucking]
- You stole a boat?
345
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:31,698
What's wrong with you?
Where'd you learn to be a boat thief?
346
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:34,370
How'd you turn into such a pathetic
attention whore?
347
00:16:34,371 --> 00:16:37,119
And how did you become such a lush?
348
00:16:37,122 --> 00:16:39,122
[gulping, grunting]
349
00:16:39,625 --> 00:16:40,955
[Beanie roars]
350
00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:44,378
I learned it from watching you.
351
00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:46,379
- [spits]
- Is this...
352
00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:48,549
all our fault?
353
00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:50,718
We made Beanie this way.
354
00:16:50,719 --> 00:16:53,429
No, we've been terrible parents.
355
00:16:53,430 --> 00:16:55,765
[distant siren blaring]
356
00:16:55,766 --> 00:16:58,436
- [horn honking]
- The cops! We've gotta hide Beanie!
357
00:16:58,437 --> 00:17:00,895
You distract them.
I'll sneak Beanie out the back.
358
00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:02,936
Goodbye.
359
00:17:02,940 --> 00:17:04,899
No, no, no, no, no! No, Beanie!
360
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:06,400
Beanie, no!
361
00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:08,651
[Beanie babbling]
362
00:17:08,654 --> 00:17:10,414
- [thudding]
- [arrows firing]
363
00:17:10,415 --> 00:17:12,025
[Beanie squealing]
364
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:13,616
- [thuds]
- [yells]
365
00:17:13,617 --> 00:17:14,907
ALL: [yelling] No!
366
00:17:14,910 --> 00:17:16,910
- My firstborn!
- [all yelling]
367
00:17:16,912 --> 00:17:17,752
Shit!
368
00:17:17,753 --> 00:17:21,706
- [chopping]
- [grunting]
369
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:25,503
Ha ha ha ha.
370
00:17:25,504 --> 00:17:27,046
- [smashes]
- [chomps]
371
00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:28,047
Mm.
372
00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:30,048
But we didn't vote for this!
373
00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:36,264
Trick shot!
[grunts]
374
00:17:36,265 --> 00:17:38,474
- [thwacking]
- [grunts]
375
00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:40,265
Ha ha! Meant to do that!
376
00:17:40,269 --> 00:17:42,436
[Wispie giggling]
377
00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:44,437
Ha ha ha ha! Watch this!
378
00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:46,229
[yelling]
379
00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:48,067
- [thuds]
- Crushed it!
380
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,858
Mayor McCloud, cut the ropes!
We can help you!
381
00:17:50,863 --> 00:17:54,120
Freeing you would require
a two-thirds majority!
382
00:17:54,121 --> 00:17:56,696
And the speaker of the house
just got trick-shotted!
383
00:17:56,702 --> 00:18:00,042
Okay. The hell with this.
We're playing by king rules now.
384
00:18:00,043 --> 00:18:03,374
Humph. Untie us or I eat the mayor.
385
00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:04,915
[snapping]
386
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,092
- MAYOR McCLOUD: Oh!
- See, Patrick?
387
00:18:07,093 --> 00:18:09,337
Democracy is a failed experiment.
388
00:18:09,339 --> 00:18:11,859
- Now, let's get the fuck out of here.
- [Tyler the Giant yelling]
389
00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:14,427
We can't just let them get slaughtered.
We're responsible.
390
00:18:14,428 --> 00:18:16,598
Actually, it's the beans' fault.
391
00:18:16,599 --> 00:18:18,767
[Tyler the Giant grunting]
392
00:18:21,977 --> 00:18:24,857
How about this?
If we take down that giant,
393
00:18:24,858 --> 00:18:28,065
you can take that big-ass nipple ring.
394
00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:30,146
Ah, I had one of those in high school,
395
00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:32,572
but my girlfriend's headgear
got stuck on it.
396
00:18:32,573 --> 00:18:33,821
Not to wear!
397
00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:35,572
- It's solid gold.
- [gasps]
398
00:18:35,574 --> 00:18:37,744
PATRICK:
It'll pay your bills for months!
399
00:18:37,745 --> 00:18:40,293
Fine. We'll do it your way.
400
00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:44,081
- [Patrick yelling]
- [snaps]
401
00:18:44,082 --> 00:18:45,917
Here! Run through his legs.
402
00:18:45,918 --> 00:18:48,208
[both panting]
403
00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:51,964
[Tyler the Giant grunting]
404
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:54,255
Party foul! Whoa!
405
00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:55,009
- [thuds]
- [squishing]
406
00:18:55,010 --> 00:18:56,135
[splats]
407
00:18:56,136 --> 00:18:59,346
That might be the worst thing
I've ever seen.
408
00:18:59,348 --> 00:19:01,098
Now gimme that gold.
409
00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:03,017
- Yoink!
- [squishing]
410
00:19:03,018 --> 00:19:04,727
Nope. That's worse. Ugh.
411
00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:07,058
Uh, I think I'm okay.
412
00:19:07,064 --> 00:19:08,981
I'm getting my second wind.
413
00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:10,274
Boot and rally.
414
00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:11,984
- [sawing]
- [grunting]
415
00:19:11,985 --> 00:19:13,315
[all cheering]
416
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,158
The good news is we'll feast
on giant meat for weeks,
417
00:19:16,159 --> 00:19:20,286
and the bad news is that beanstalk
still bridges our world to theirs!
418
00:19:20,287 --> 00:19:22,405
[ground rumbling]
419
00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:25,251
Not for much longer.
They're chopping down the beanstalk.
420
00:19:25,252 --> 00:19:27,329
Come on, sire. It's now or never.
421
00:19:31,588 --> 00:19:33,548
[sword hacking]
422
00:19:33,549 --> 00:19:35,799
Broth, wait! Stop chopping!
423
00:19:35,801 --> 00:19:37,801
- [cracks]
- [Patrick yelling]
424
00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:40,641
Sire, get on!
425
00:19:41,098 --> 00:19:42,718
[both grunting]
426
00:19:42,724 --> 00:19:47,478
[Wispies yelling]
427
00:19:47,479 --> 00:19:50,314
- Whoa!
- Bazingaaaa!
428
00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:52,565
[all yelling]
429
00:19:52,568 --> 00:19:54,438
Oh, gentlemen.
430
00:19:54,444 --> 00:19:56,904
It has been an honor...
Aah!
431
00:19:56,905 --> 00:20:00,155
[all screaming]
432
00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:01,698
- [grunting]
- [chopping]
433
00:20:01,702 --> 00:20:03,002
[beanstalk groaning]
434
00:20:03,003 --> 00:20:05,245
[both yelling]
435
00:20:06,582 --> 00:20:08,082
[yelling continues]
436
00:20:08,083 --> 00:20:10,293
- [thuds]
- [both yelling]
437
00:20:12,337 --> 00:20:14,505
- Oh, hey, Patrick.
- Sloane!
438
00:20:14,506 --> 00:20:15,916
You're leaving?
439
00:20:15,924 --> 00:20:18,801
What the fuck just happened?
440
00:20:18,802 --> 00:20:20,392
I've saved the kingdom.
441
00:20:20,393 --> 00:20:21,887
[crumbling]
442
00:20:21,889 --> 00:20:24,599
Look at this loot.
It's still got a little nipple on it.
443
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:26,559
But we're rich.
444
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:27,727
[clinks]
445
00:20:27,728 --> 00:20:30,188
Once we pay for the catastrophic
damage to the castle,
446
00:20:30,189 --> 00:20:32,019
this should keep us afloat
for a few weeks.
447
00:20:32,024 --> 00:20:34,901
So, the kitchen staff keeps their jobs?
448
00:20:34,902 --> 00:20:38,162
That's a random question, but sure.
449
00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:42,739
[Broth laughing]
450
00:20:42,743 --> 00:20:44,121
- [splats]
- Oh, shit.
451
00:20:44,122 --> 00:20:45,247
- What?
- Oh, no.
452
00:20:45,248 --> 00:20:46,785
- Who was that?
- [splats]
453
00:20:46,788 --> 00:20:48,108
- PATRICK and SLOANE: Oh.
- [splats]
454
00:20:48,113 --> 00:20:49,572
- [gasps] Oh, my God.
- [splats]
455
00:20:49,573 --> 00:20:51,792
[splatting continues]
456
00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:55,588
I hope at least their
modern art museum survived.
457
00:20:55,589 --> 00:20:57,129
- [crashing]
- [crumbling]
458
00:20:57,841 --> 00:20:59,300
- [splatting]
- Never mind.
459
00:20:59,301 --> 00:21:03,011
Patrick, quit lollygagging.
You've got a nipple ring to melt down.
460
00:21:03,013 --> 00:21:06,516
- And you? Make me a cake.
- Yes, sire.
461
00:21:06,517 --> 00:21:09,647
- [splatting continues]
- [romantic saxophone music]
462
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:16,734
[all sobbing]
463
00:21:16,735 --> 00:21:19,195
- Oh! It's not fair!
- [sobbing]
464
00:21:19,863 --> 00:21:24,200
Goodbye, sweet Beanie.
[sobs] We did the best we could.
465
00:21:24,201 --> 00:21:27,411
Wow. Who knew parenting was so hard?
466
00:21:27,412 --> 00:21:29,791
You know, nobody ever talks about that.
467
00:21:29,792 --> 00:21:33,290
We should apologize to Mom and Dad
for all we put them through.
468
00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:36,587
Seriously.
I once pawned Mom's wedding ring
469
00:21:36,588 --> 00:21:39,378
to get into an underground
pirate fight club.
470
00:21:39,383 --> 00:21:42,139
I mean, I won, of course.
Totally worth it.
471
00:21:42,140 --> 00:21:46,555
Do you guys think Beanie was sent here
to force us to examine ourselves
472
00:21:46,557 --> 00:21:49,137
and become better people?
473
00:21:51,228 --> 00:21:53,688
DOREEN: Kids, we're home!
474
00:21:53,689 --> 00:21:55,606
Jeez, where'd the day go?
475
00:21:55,607 --> 00:21:57,937
Hey, let's tell Mom
she forgot to leave us pizza money.
476
00:21:57,943 --> 00:22:00,236
- Good idea.
- [laughs] Classic.
477
00:22:00,237 --> 00:22:03,697
Hey, Mom! I'm all your fault!
478
00:22:04,950 --> 00:22:08,950
[soft orchestral music]
479
00:22:36,732 --> 00:22:38,941
CHILD: That was amazing!
480
00:22:38,942 --> 00:22:40,234
[ball beeping]
481
00:22:40,235 --> 00:22:41,565
[loser sound effect plays]
35922
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