Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,007 --> 00:00:02,797
♪
2
00:00:05,095 --> 00:00:08,805
Wow! Caddying for the King
at the charity golf weekend!
3
00:00:08,807 --> 00:00:11,477
If only the kids on the school golf team
could see me now.
4
00:00:11,478 --> 00:00:14,556
Too bad they all gave each other syphilis
at golf camp and went blind.
5
00:00:14,563 --> 00:00:17,823
- Huh?
- Golf camp was crazy.
6
00:00:18,650 --> 00:00:21,650
I hate golfing with the other kings.
7
00:00:21,653 --> 00:00:24,163
♪
8
00:00:26,700 --> 00:00:28,538
All that bullshit chit-chat.
9
00:00:28,539 --> 00:00:31,155
I hope King Topher gets eaten
by an alligator this year.
10
00:00:31,162 --> 00:00:34,169
Well, while you and the other kings
chase each other's balls around,
11
00:00:34,170 --> 00:00:37,125
I'm going to kick back, relax,
and scream at the servants.
12
00:00:37,127 --> 00:00:38,627
Some real "me" time.
13
00:00:38,629 --> 00:00:40,629
Actually, you'll be doing none of that.
14
00:00:40,631 --> 00:00:43,551
It's Queen Collette's birthday weekend
on Spa Island.
15
00:00:43,552 --> 00:00:46,469
Son of a bitch!
Birthdays are one day!
16
00:00:46,470 --> 00:00:48,808
Why should she get to kill
my whole weekend?
17
00:00:48,809 --> 00:00:51,216
Uh, forgive me for asking,
your Highnesses,
18
00:00:51,224 --> 00:00:54,522
but if you're both gone,
who will run the kingdom?
19
00:00:54,523 --> 00:00:56,649
We'll let Bungles do it.
Bungles!
20
00:00:56,650 --> 00:00:58,856
[fanfare playing]
21
00:00:58,857 --> 00:00:59,977
[whistle blowing]
22
00:00:59,984 --> 00:01:01,943
[circus music playing]
23
00:01:01,944 --> 00:01:04,361
Who...? Meeeee...?
24
00:01:04,362 --> 00:01:07,531
- [audience cheering]
- [laughing] That's his catch phrase.
25
00:01:07,532 --> 00:01:08,574
I know.
26
00:01:08,575 --> 00:01:13,365
“Look, I'm the Queen!
Off to the spa to get my butthole waxed!”
27
00:01:13,371 --> 00:01:14,789
[dishes crashing]
28
00:01:14,790 --> 00:01:16,510
- [King chuckling]
- I hate when he does me.
29
00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:20,648
[laughing]
No, stop! I'm gonna pee.
30
00:01:21,714 --> 00:01:24,344
Bungles, you're in charge
till we get back.
31
00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:26,131
Don't start any wars!
32
00:01:26,134 --> 00:01:29,929
- Who? Me?
- [whistle blowing]
33
00:01:29,930 --> 00:01:32,140
♪
34
00:01:36,937 --> 00:01:39,147
[upbeat music playing]
35
00:01:40,858 --> 00:01:42,528
[horse whinnies]
36
00:01:44,277 --> 00:01:45,987
[indistinct crowd shouting]
37
00:01:45,988 --> 00:01:48,568
Where the hell are we?
Where's the golf course?
38
00:01:48,574 --> 00:01:50,994
[rock music playing]
39
00:01:53,537 --> 00:01:54,837
[vibrating]
40
00:01:57,249 --> 00:01:59,667
[cheering]
41
00:01:59,668 --> 00:02:02,498
Of course this isn't
a charity tournament.
42
00:02:02,504 --> 00:02:03,838
This is a cesspool.
43
00:02:03,839 --> 00:02:06,629
A cesspool of shrimp cocktail!
[chomping]
44
00:02:06,633 --> 00:02:10,553
- Who are these people?
- You fool! This is Chill Society!
45
00:02:10,554 --> 00:02:14,020
A secret congregation
of the most powerful men in the world!
46
00:02:14,021 --> 00:02:18,016
Kings, lords, popes,
and that guy with all the mattress stores.
47
00:02:18,020 --> 00:02:21,730
History doesn't just happen!
It's decided... here!
48
00:02:21,732 --> 00:02:25,571
So, it's crucial that King Merriman's
first year hosting is successful!
49
00:02:25,572 --> 00:02:26,988
It's gotta be perfect!
50
00:02:26,989 --> 00:02:28,446
King Topher hosted last time,
51
00:02:28,447 --> 00:02:30,237
and it's all
anyone talked about for months.
52
00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:33,369
Farm-to-table, vision board,
juice bar bullshit!
53
00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:35,327
I'm gettin' back to basics, baby!
54
00:02:35,328 --> 00:02:38,458
- Dicks, chicks, and guitar licks!
- [rock guitar playing]
55
00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:40,037
[trumpet fanfare]
56
00:02:40,042 --> 00:02:44,545
Announcing Rami IV, The Desert Sultan!
57
00:02:44,546 --> 00:02:46,416
Rami! How's the pyramid?
58
00:02:46,423 --> 00:02:50,013
The basement's awesome,
but the penthouse is a real letdown.
59
00:02:50,014 --> 00:02:51,550
[trumpet fanfare]
60
00:02:51,553 --> 00:02:55,140
Anthony Saltine, the Mattress King!
61
00:02:55,141 --> 00:03:00,101
Heeey, Tony Saltine, Tony Saltine!
How ya sleepin', Merriman?
62
00:03:00,104 --> 00:03:02,983
You look terrible!
Let me fix you up with a new mattress!
63
00:03:02,984 --> 00:03:05,279
Can't afford it?
Layaway, my friend!
64
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:08,525
Not interested?
How about no interest for 12 months?
65
00:03:08,528 --> 00:03:09,988
You're robbin' me blind!
66
00:03:09,989 --> 00:03:11,989
I... I don't need a deal
on a fucking mattress!
67
00:03:11,991 --> 00:03:15,534
Perfect! Full freight!
Get it off the truck, boys!
68
00:03:15,535 --> 00:03:16,825
Dammit, he gets me every year.
69
00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:20,706
TONY: Hey! Tony Saltine, here!
How ya sleepin', huh?
70
00:03:20,707 --> 00:03:22,207
[trumpet fanfare]
71
00:03:22,208 --> 00:03:25,586
King Christopher from The Baylands!
72
00:03:25,587 --> 00:03:28,047
Why so formal?
Call me Topher.
73
00:03:28,048 --> 00:03:29,548
What the hell is that?
74
00:03:29,549 --> 00:03:30,928
[bicycle bell chimes]
75
00:03:30,929 --> 00:03:32,546
- Where's your horse?
- I'm in training.
76
00:03:32,552 --> 00:03:34,971
I'm doing a triathlon next month
raising money
77
00:03:34,972 --> 00:03:37,769
to combat leprosy-linked illiteracy
among illegitimate illustrators.
78
00:03:37,770 --> 00:03:40,516
Why don't you hide your lepers in caves
like civilized people?
79
00:03:40,519 --> 00:03:43,019
[laughs]
Merriman, you are a pip!
80
00:03:43,022 --> 00:03:45,860
Let's catch up over a glass of rosé later.
Maybe jam a little.
81
00:03:45,861 --> 00:03:47,728
- [drumming]
- Absolutely not.
82
00:03:47,734 --> 00:03:50,277
Tony Saltine, is that you?
83
00:03:50,278 --> 00:03:52,197
Don't you walk away
until I buy a mattress!
84
00:03:52,198 --> 00:03:54,488
[trumpet fanfare]
85
00:03:54,491 --> 00:03:58,285
Announcing...
I don't know who that is.
86
00:03:58,286 --> 00:04:01,246
Ruben the Rogue, King of the Forest!
Where's the taco bar?
87
00:04:01,247 --> 00:04:03,287
- [crashing]
- Just park it anywhere.
88
00:04:07,295 --> 00:04:09,875
[screaming, grunting]
89
00:04:09,882 --> 00:04:13,634
[panting]
Nobody crosses the King of the Forest!
90
00:04:13,635 --> 00:04:15,635
I'll have revenge on you all!
91
00:04:16,722 --> 00:04:22,476
I will avenge you, Wolfie!
[howling]
92
00:04:22,477 --> 00:04:25,147
[dance music playing]
93
00:04:25,981 --> 00:04:28,481
Here's to Queen Collette's
birthday weekend!
94
00:04:28,483 --> 00:04:30,151
Party, bitches!
95
00:04:30,152 --> 00:04:33,700
I'm so beyond thrilled to spend
this weekend with my ride-or-dies!
96
00:04:33,701 --> 00:04:36,157
What better way to spend my 29th birthday?
97
00:04:36,158 --> 00:04:37,478
[under breath]
Oh, Jesus Christ.
98
00:04:37,502 --> 00:04:40,793
So, this Queen-tinerary
will blow your panties off!
99
00:04:40,794 --> 00:04:44,707
We've got a mud bath, a sound bath,
a lotta group baths.
100
00:04:44,708 --> 00:04:46,837
Can't wait to see what's new in pubes!
101
00:04:46,838 --> 00:04:50,085
I'm warning you right now, my husband,
the Mattress King Tony Saltine...
102
00:04:50,089 --> 00:04:51,889
that's Tony with a “Y,”
I'm Toni with an “I”...
103
00:04:51,913 --> 00:04:53,680
anyway, he likes a big bush.
104
00:04:53,681 --> 00:04:55,715
And then we open presents!
105
00:04:55,719 --> 00:04:58,809
We all chipped in
on one big gift this year.
106
00:04:58,810 --> 00:05:01,635
Everyone put on your birthday crowns!
107
00:05:01,641 --> 00:05:04,476
Maybe when I'm a little drunker, Cleo.
108
00:05:04,477 --> 00:05:06,727
Oh, no, this is a dry weekend!
109
00:05:06,730 --> 00:05:08,397
♪
110
00:05:08,398 --> 00:05:11,898
We're drinking sparkling cider.
I'm five months sober, everyone!
111
00:05:11,902 --> 00:05:13,652
[glasses clinking]
112
00:05:13,653 --> 00:05:14,953
[glass shattering]
113
00:05:16,406 --> 00:05:18,576
Oops. I'll be right back.
114
00:05:19,409 --> 00:05:20,889
[whispering]
Why did you invite her?
115
00:05:20,913 --> 00:05:23,753
[whispering] I had to.
Her King is friends with my King.
116
00:05:24,372 --> 00:05:25,622
[trumpet fanfare]
117
00:05:25,624 --> 00:05:30,003
Welcome to the 485th Chill Society!
118
00:05:30,004 --> 00:05:32,046
[cheering]
119
00:05:32,047 --> 00:05:34,337
Let's chill!
120
00:05:34,341 --> 00:05:36,641
♪
121
00:05:40,973 --> 00:05:42,273
[laughing]
122
00:05:49,690 --> 00:05:52,030
[loud chomping]
123
00:05:52,776 --> 00:05:55,106
KINGS: [chanting] Light as a feather,
stiff as a board...
124
00:05:55,112 --> 00:05:56,992
Light as a feather,
stiff as a board...
125
00:05:56,993 --> 00:05:59,199
[laughing]
126
00:05:59,908 --> 00:06:03,448
So, Gregory, Isaac.
How do we avoid this war?
127
00:06:03,453 --> 00:06:06,372
You've got 50 warships.
You've got an unmarried daughter.
128
00:06:06,373 --> 00:06:09,380
And they've both got some nice cannons.
Do we have a deal?
129
00:06:09,381 --> 00:06:11,746
Doesn't that daughter of yours
have a jacked-up nose?
130
00:06:13,463 --> 00:06:16,093
Oh, it's war you want?
131
00:06:16,925 --> 00:06:18,835
Well, come at me, brother!
132
00:06:19,678 --> 00:06:21,258
Now, now, Gregory.
133
00:06:21,263 --> 00:06:24,311
Your son's no looker
since that horse fell on his face.
134
00:06:24,312 --> 00:06:26,638
He should take the offer
that's on the table.
135
00:06:26,643 --> 00:06:30,396
- Oh, fine.
- Now... let's seal the deal!
136
00:06:30,397 --> 00:06:32,227
[both sniffing]
137
00:06:32,983 --> 00:06:36,944
- Ah, yes!
- [Kings cheering]
138
00:06:36,945 --> 00:06:39,905
[muffled cheering in distance]
139
00:06:39,907 --> 00:06:41,697
We oughta start our own secret club!
140
00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:43,870
Yeah!
And not invite any of them!
141
00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:45,995
Only forest kings allowed!
142
00:06:45,996 --> 00:06:47,705
[roaring]
143
00:06:47,706 --> 00:06:50,206
- And Honeypants, of course.
- [roars]
144
00:06:50,209 --> 00:06:53,129
I'm so sorry.
Doctor Honeypants. [chuckles]
145
00:06:56,673 --> 00:06:59,513
Sweet Christmas, boy!
Got enough shrimp?
146
00:06:59,514 --> 00:07:01,799
I call my mouth my shrimp-hole.
147
00:07:01,803 --> 00:07:04,638
Hmm. Shrimp-hole you say?
148
00:07:04,639 --> 00:07:06,559
I have an idea. Come with me.
149
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,638
Is there shrimp where we're going?
150
00:07:08,643 --> 00:07:11,443
I thought I'd be working
a charity weekend,
151
00:07:11,444 --> 00:07:15,108
and instead I'm stuck
at this satanic frat party.
152
00:07:15,109 --> 00:07:17,947
You could feed a whole kingdom
for a year on what this costs.
153
00:07:17,948 --> 00:07:19,815
BLARNEY:
I know, pretty bitchin', right?
154
00:07:20,572 --> 00:07:24,370
- Blarney? What are you doing here?
- I'm the entertainment, man!
155
00:07:24,371 --> 00:07:26,488
It's my first time
doing a corporate event.
156
00:07:26,494 --> 00:07:28,164
I even wrote some new material.
157
00:07:28,165 --> 00:07:33,418
“If your swimming pool is a moat...
you might be a king.”
158
00:07:33,419 --> 00:07:35,128
Is that the punchline?
159
00:07:35,129 --> 00:07:39,215
“If your storage unit
is a storage castle... ”
160
00:07:39,216 --> 00:07:43,094
Oh, c'mon, who has a storage castle?
That is pretty broad.
161
00:07:43,095 --> 00:07:45,095
Patrick, I need you to go
to the storage castle.
162
00:07:45,097 --> 00:07:46,397
- Told ya.
- [clown horn honking]
163
00:07:46,401 --> 00:07:48,226
The ceremonial hunt starts in an hour,
164
00:07:48,227 --> 00:07:50,845
and if I don't have my special
Chill Society Sword,
165
00:07:50,852 --> 00:07:52,440
the weekend isn't perfect!
166
00:07:52,441 --> 00:07:53,978
My father was the last one to use it.
167
00:07:53,981 --> 00:07:56,481
We put all of his shit
in the storage castle after he died.
168
00:07:56,483 --> 00:07:59,193
Ask the guard to grab it.
Don't go poking around.
169
00:07:59,194 --> 00:08:01,321
[crowd moaning]
170
00:08:01,322 --> 00:08:03,532
I would be thrilled to go.
171
00:08:04,574 --> 00:08:06,624
♪
172
00:08:08,329 --> 00:08:11,205
Ah, there you are, sweet nectar.
173
00:08:11,206 --> 00:08:15,126
Time to water the tulips.
[glugging]
174
00:08:15,961 --> 00:08:17,261
[gasps]
175
00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:24,350
Ooh, these purses are defective.
I'm taking them back to the workshop.
176
00:08:26,513 --> 00:08:29,849
[horse galloping, whinnying]
177
00:08:29,850 --> 00:08:31,940
[wind blowing]
178
00:08:33,854 --> 00:08:36,105
Ready! Aim!
179
00:08:36,106 --> 00:08:38,856
No! I'm here by order of the King!
180
00:08:38,859 --> 00:08:41,319
Hmm... what's the password?
181
00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:43,610
“S! xty-n! ne.”
But spelled out, capital S,
182
00:08:43,613 --> 00:08:45,743
and the I's are exclamation points.
183
00:08:45,744 --> 00:08:47,950
[portcullis rumbling]
184
00:08:49,119 --> 00:08:51,078
Oh, yeah, the ceremonial sword.
185
00:08:51,079 --> 00:08:53,579
I think we was using it
to kill a spider last week.
186
00:08:53,581 --> 00:08:54,881
Imma go grab it.
187
00:08:58,379 --> 00:09:00,508
Where's, uh, King Merriman's portrait?
188
00:09:00,509 --> 00:09:04,006
Don't ask questions, don't move,
and don't touch anything!
189
00:09:11,392 --> 00:09:15,395
Wow. This statue of the Old King
is really lifelike.
190
00:09:15,396 --> 00:09:18,146
- Boo!
- [both screaming]
191
00:09:20,526 --> 00:09:22,186
[crows cawing]
192
00:09:22,194 --> 00:09:24,611
[laughing]
Ah! You found me!
193
00:09:24,612 --> 00:09:27,872
Sometimes I'm here five, six hours!
No one notices!
194
00:09:27,873 --> 00:09:30,946
You're... you're the Old King!
195
00:09:30,952 --> 00:09:34,209
Old King?
I'm the only king, you little weirdo.
196
00:09:34,210 --> 00:09:35,536
But... you're dead!
197
00:09:35,541 --> 00:09:39,251
Dead?
No, no, just hiding from the plague!
198
00:09:39,253 --> 00:09:42,053
So, how are things out there?
Pretty bleak, right?
199
00:09:42,054 --> 00:09:46,547
Streets littered with the dead?
Crows pecking out their eyeballs?
200
00:09:46,552 --> 00:09:49,312
Does anyone remember laughter?
201
00:09:51,974 --> 00:09:56,519
Uh, your... Highness?
The last plague was 12 years ago.
202
00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:59,108
- And it killed you!
- Killed? Who told you that?
203
00:09:59,109 --> 00:10:02,775
Um, everybody?
There's like 18 books written about it.
204
00:10:02,776 --> 00:10:04,856
Oh, if I were dead, could I do this?
205
00:10:04,861 --> 00:10:07,780
[tap dancing, grunting]
206
00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:08,781
[farts]
207
00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:13,122
[gasps] Oops.
Better go change my pants.
208
00:10:15,539 --> 00:10:18,629
CROWD: [chanting]
Shrimp club! Shrimp club! Shrimp club!
209
00:10:22,379 --> 00:10:25,089
Okay, boy, now I've got
a lot of money riding on you,
210
00:10:25,090 --> 00:10:27,130
so don't fuck this up.
211
00:10:27,134 --> 00:10:31,679
Three, two, one...
Shrimp fight!
212
00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:34,307
- [crowd cheering]
- [gulps]
213
00:10:34,308 --> 00:10:36,976
- Shrimp-ressive!
- Eat, you fool!
214
00:10:36,977 --> 00:10:38,307
[loud chomping]
215
00:10:38,312 --> 00:10:40,312
♪
216
00:10:42,065 --> 00:10:44,525
There's a serious grain shortage,
Your Grace.
217
00:10:44,527 --> 00:10:47,397
If we don't figure it out,
the kingdom will starve.
218
00:10:47,404 --> 00:10:48,863
You must do something!
219
00:10:48,864 --> 00:10:51,494
Who? Me?
220
00:10:52,201 --> 00:10:53,535
Yes. You.
221
00:10:53,536 --> 00:10:56,156
Actually, I'm kind of
an agricultural wonk.
222
00:10:56,163 --> 00:10:58,164
I jestered on a commune in the '60s.
223
00:10:58,165 --> 00:10:59,495
Let's just take a look at this chart.
224
00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:01,540
Make an adjustment here...
that number can change...
225
00:11:01,564 --> 00:11:03,024
and how does this work for you?
226
00:11:06,673 --> 00:11:08,383
We're all going to die.
227
00:11:09,426 --> 00:11:11,176
And this is the War Room
228
00:11:11,178 --> 00:11:14,638
where I get updates
on our ongoing conflict in the South.
229
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:18,440
But mostly it's where
I have lunch and watch my stories.
230
00:11:18,441 --> 00:11:23,395
That one's Vanessa. She's a spy!
And a vampire.
231
00:11:24,441 --> 00:11:28,698
Sire, has it ever occurred to you
that perhaps there is no plague anymore?
232
00:11:28,699 --> 00:11:30,025
And if there's no plague,
233
00:11:30,030 --> 00:11:33,990
maybe your son sent you here
so he could be king?
234
00:11:35,619 --> 00:11:39,664
[gasps]
That... that little shit.
235
00:11:39,665 --> 00:11:42,785
They're not even my friends!
They're barely allies.
236
00:11:42,792 --> 00:11:45,961
And they're so superficial!
I hate them all.
237
00:11:45,962 --> 00:11:47,131
Of course you do!
238
00:11:47,132 --> 00:11:50,630
They're vapid, arrogant, materialistic,
inbred turnip women!
239
00:11:51,552 --> 00:11:55,137
[both laughing]
240
00:11:55,138 --> 00:11:58,518
Oh, I can't believe I'm having
this much fun with a pirate.
241
00:11:58,519 --> 00:12:02,097
And for a queen, you suck way less
than I would have imagined!
242
00:12:02,104 --> 00:12:05,694
I always dreamed of being a pirate
when I was a girl.
243
00:12:05,695 --> 00:12:08,441
But life had other plans for me.
244
00:12:08,444 --> 00:12:10,534
You want to be a pirate?
Be a pirate!
245
00:12:10,535 --> 00:12:12,529
Let's clean this place out!
246
00:12:12,531 --> 00:12:15,328
Say, you wouldn't believe
the expensive piece of shit
247
00:12:15,329 --> 00:12:16,784
we bought Collette for a group gift.
248
00:12:16,785 --> 00:12:18,825
They made you do a group gift?
249
00:12:18,828 --> 00:12:21,418
KAREN:
I think a group gift is nice.
250
00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:24,831
- Shut up, Karen.
- And, please, for the love of God,
251
00:12:24,834 --> 00:12:26,844
point your vagina elsewhere.
252
00:12:27,837 --> 00:12:29,046
We'll need a diversion.
253
00:12:29,047 --> 00:12:31,966
And I've got just the thing
back on my ship.
254
00:12:31,967 --> 00:12:35,887
CROWD: [exhaustedly chanting]
Shrimp fight. Shrimp fight.
255
00:12:37,681 --> 00:12:38,981
[gulps]
256
00:12:40,142 --> 00:12:41,482
Finish him.
257
00:12:43,019 --> 00:12:44,319
[gasping]
258
00:12:45,439 --> 00:12:48,524
[slurping, gulping]
259
00:12:48,525 --> 00:12:51,025
[crowd cheering]
260
00:12:51,027 --> 00:12:52,947
[gong tolling]
261
00:12:54,406 --> 00:12:57,616
[belches]
Where am I?
262
00:12:57,618 --> 00:13:00,998
If we hurry,
we can still make Lasagna Club!
263
00:13:02,247 --> 00:13:03,914
All right, everybody!
264
00:13:03,915 --> 00:13:06,915
- It's clown time!
- [cheering]
265
00:13:07,919 --> 00:13:10,959
Okay, this is it, Blarney.
It's your one shot.
266
00:13:10,964 --> 00:13:14,467
This is your one oppor...
[vomits]
267
00:13:14,468 --> 00:13:16,888
All right, I ate too much spaghetti.
268
00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:19,639
[crows cawing]
269
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:22,769
I'm the rightful king!
You gotta help me get my throne back!
270
00:13:22,770 --> 00:13:26,688
Overthrow the kingdom?
I'm just here for the sword, man!
271
00:13:26,689 --> 00:13:29,479
Ah, the Chill Society.
272
00:13:29,483 --> 00:13:33,319
A bunch of kings
making deals in some back room
273
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:34,950
and jerking each other off!
274
00:13:34,951 --> 00:13:36,614
I'm a traditionalist.
275
00:13:36,615 --> 00:13:41,035
The way to solve your problems
are with massive battlefield casualties!
276
00:13:41,036 --> 00:13:43,906
The only part I miss
is the ceremonial manhunt.
277
00:13:43,913 --> 00:13:44,955
Manhunt?
278
00:13:44,956 --> 00:13:48,876
Yes. You know,
they say clown meat tastes funny.
279
00:13:48,877 --> 00:13:52,457
And let me tell you something:
[chuckles] it does.
280
00:13:52,464 --> 00:13:55,132
I'm sorry. Clown meat?
281
00:13:55,133 --> 00:13:57,303
♪
282
00:14:01,473 --> 00:14:03,979
- Shit, Blarney!
- Hey, look... I found a memento!
283
00:14:03,980 --> 00:14:06,135
- [clown horn honking]
- [screaming]
284
00:14:09,565 --> 00:14:10,815
Uh-oh.
285
00:14:10,816 --> 00:14:12,686
[trumpets playing]
286
00:14:14,111 --> 00:14:15,411
[arrows thudding]
287
00:14:18,073 --> 00:14:20,793
How many times am I gonna take
a comedy gig
288
00:14:20,794 --> 00:14:22,985
only to be hunted for sport?
289
00:14:22,994 --> 00:14:25,460
- KING GREGORY: Ha-ha! Fore!
- [canon blasting]
290
00:14:25,461 --> 00:14:26,956
- Ahhh!
- [tree crashing]
291
00:14:27,999 --> 00:14:31,168
I knew there was no way
Blarney would get paid for comedy.
292
00:14:31,169 --> 00:14:34,338
If I help you break out of here,
will you ban clown hunting?
293
00:14:34,339 --> 00:14:35,339
Absolutely!
294
00:14:35,340 --> 00:14:38,800
It'll be the first thing I do
after I legalize bestiality,
295
00:14:38,803 --> 00:14:42,472
sell poor people as lunch meat,
and implement an electoral college.
296
00:14:42,473 --> 00:14:45,063
[nervous laugh]
Oh, God, I gotta get out of here.
297
00:14:45,768 --> 00:14:48,018
Well, hell, I'm sorry that took so long.
298
00:14:48,019 --> 00:14:51,149
We was using it to get the dog's
tennis ball out from under the couch.
299
00:14:51,150 --> 00:14:53,778
- Thanks! Well, gotta go!
- Hey! Wait a minute!
300
00:14:53,779 --> 00:14:56,736
Did you talk to him?
This is bad!
301
00:14:56,737 --> 00:14:59,567
Ready the horses, Patrick!
This one's mine!
302
00:14:59,573 --> 00:15:00,782
- Stab!
- [screaming]
303
00:15:00,783 --> 00:15:04,118
- Oh, my God!
- I sharpened Vanessa into a shiv!
304
00:15:04,119 --> 00:15:06,159
Stab! Stab! Stab! Stab! Stab! Stab!
305
00:15:06,831 --> 00:15:10,251
Hey, FYI, bit of a situation
in the Hall of Statues, thanks, bye!
306
00:15:10,252 --> 00:15:12,250
[horse whinnying, galloping]
307
00:15:15,255 --> 00:15:19,045
Ooh, it's time for presents!
308
00:15:22,763 --> 00:15:24,347
Oh, my God! You guys!
309
00:15:24,348 --> 00:15:26,518
Now I've got a matching set
for the guest bath!
310
00:15:26,519 --> 00:15:27,847
It's from all of us!
311
00:15:27,852 --> 00:15:31,022
I also got you a mattress fit for a queen.
You'll love it!
312
00:15:31,023 --> 00:15:33,939
- This is a raid!
- [screaming]
313
00:15:33,940 --> 00:15:35,980
Pleased to meet you, Your Majesties!
314
00:15:35,984 --> 00:15:39,028
You can call us...
the Plunder from Down Under!
315
00:15:39,029 --> 00:15:40,329
[record scratches]
316
00:15:41,532 --> 00:15:44,992
- [cheering]
- [Queen Cleo giggling]
317
00:15:44,993 --> 00:15:46,331
[dance music playing]
318
00:15:46,332 --> 00:15:49,458
It's exactly what I wanted!
How did you know?
319
00:15:52,626 --> 00:15:54,126
[coins jingling]
320
00:16:02,803 --> 00:16:05,179
[slurps]
Hi, I'm Collette,
321
00:16:05,180 --> 00:16:10,020
and... sobriety's a slippery slope!
Yeah!
322
00:16:12,521 --> 00:16:13,861
[panting]
323
00:16:15,190 --> 00:16:17,230
[grunting]
324
00:16:19,653 --> 00:16:23,033
The King isn't the king,
my brother's gonna die,
325
00:16:23,034 --> 00:16:25,700
and I just dropped all of my change.
326
00:16:25,701 --> 00:16:28,201
This day is the worst.
327
00:16:29,580 --> 00:16:31,000
And now I have to pee.
328
00:16:31,001 --> 00:16:32,667
♪
329
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,628
Ho, ho, ho!
Feast your eyes, boys!
330
00:16:37,629 --> 00:16:40,339
We caught ourselves an adult male virgin!
They're endangered.
331
00:16:40,340 --> 00:16:42,929
Goddammit, Ruben,
let me out of here!
332
00:16:42,930 --> 00:16:45,797
The kings are doing a manhunt,
and Blarney's the man!
333
00:16:45,804 --> 00:16:48,431
Hmm... I bet ruining their manhunt
334
00:16:48,432 --> 00:16:51,439
would make things
pretty un-chill for those elites,
335
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:53,394
with their exclusionary
membership practices!
336
00:16:53,395 --> 00:16:55,435
[sighs]
Yeah, plus, we'd save our brother.
337
00:16:55,439 --> 00:16:57,229
Remember? The important part.
338
00:16:58,817 --> 00:17:01,487
Finally! I need the sword
to carve up the clown!
339
00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:04,356
What does hunting a clown
have to do with diplomacy?
340
00:17:04,364 --> 00:17:07,202
Everything!
You normies wouldn't understand!
341
00:17:07,203 --> 00:17:09,370
A king can't truly trust another king
342
00:17:09,371 --> 00:17:11,998
until they've soaked
in the blood of a clown together.
343
00:17:11,999 --> 00:17:14,497
Clown blood greases the wheels of power.
344
00:17:14,499 --> 00:17:16,129
Now let's go, caddy!
345
00:17:16,961 --> 00:17:19,131
♪
346
00:17:26,219 --> 00:17:29,099
- I think I saw him run this way!
- KING GREGORY: Victory!
347
00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:30,887
[Kings cheering]
348
00:17:30,891 --> 00:17:32,809
Uh-oh!
[both screaming]
349
00:17:32,810 --> 00:17:34,140
[gasps]
350
00:17:35,145 --> 00:17:36,555
[screams]
351
00:17:37,147 --> 00:17:38,566
- [logs whooshing]
- [splattering]
352
00:17:38,567 --> 00:17:40,315
What the hell is going on?
353
00:17:40,734 --> 00:17:42,034
[ding]
354
00:17:43,069 --> 00:17:45,069
♪
355
00:17:45,071 --> 00:17:46,741
[bush rustling]
356
00:17:50,327 --> 00:17:51,697
There he is.
357
00:17:52,788 --> 00:17:55,668
- [roaring]
- Oh! Clown decoy!
358
00:17:56,834 --> 00:17:59,044
- [panting]
- [shrieks]
359
00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:01,505
- [panting]
- [screaming]
360
00:18:02,381 --> 00:18:04,091
[grunting]
361
00:18:04,842 --> 00:18:06,592
Who is responsible for this?
362
00:18:06,593 --> 00:18:08,513
King of the Forest! Yeah!
Fuck off!
363
00:18:08,514 --> 00:18:10,596
It's the ghost of Robin Hood!
364
00:18:10,597 --> 00:18:12,517
I'm Ruben the Rogue, dumbass!
365
00:18:12,518 --> 00:18:14,934
Well, now I know who to kill!
366
00:18:14,935 --> 00:18:16,775
On second thought,
it was all Patrick's idea!
367
00:18:16,799 --> 00:18:19,969
[nervous laugh]
Ahhhh!
368
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:24,857
Oh, you little nerd!
Why would you ruin my hunt?
369
00:18:24,862 --> 00:18:27,200
Because hunting humans
for entertainment...
370
00:18:27,201 --> 00:18:30,366
even clown humans, before you say it...
is wrong.
371
00:18:30,367 --> 00:18:34,497
- I'm still puttin' this on my resume!
- [clown horn honking]
372
00:18:39,543 --> 00:18:42,294
Here's your cut.
You earned it.
373
00:18:42,295 --> 00:18:44,795
I don't need money.
I did it for the kicks.
374
00:18:44,798 --> 00:18:47,967
The kicks?
The kicks don't have to end!
375
00:18:47,968 --> 00:18:50,386
Join my crew.
Karen did.
376
00:18:50,387 --> 00:18:53,267
Shiver me timbers!
I'm a pirate now!
377
00:18:54,058 --> 00:18:59,854
You're the queen of the high seas,
but I'm a less metaphorical kind of queen.
378
00:18:59,855 --> 00:19:02,975
I have responsibilities
I can't run away from.
379
00:19:02,983 --> 00:19:06,069
QUEEN COLLETTE:
The statue is gone!
380
00:19:06,070 --> 00:19:07,946
Goodbye, Coral.
381
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:09,697
♪
382
00:19:13,035 --> 00:19:16,905
It's not “goodbye.”
It's “to be continued.”
383
00:19:16,914 --> 00:19:19,634
♪
384
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:28,507
QUEEN COLLETTE:
My birthday is ruined! [sobbing]
385
00:19:28,508 --> 00:19:31,008
[chuckling]
386
00:19:31,762 --> 00:19:35,014
Aw, c'mon, guys!
Chill Society's not over!
387
00:19:35,015 --> 00:19:36,305
We couldn't kill a clown,
388
00:19:36,308 --> 00:19:38,687
but you don't want to miss
the X-rated hypnotist!
389
00:19:38,688 --> 00:19:41,645
Sons of bitches.
Thanks for ruining Chill Society,
390
00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:45,024
AKA the one weekend a year
I get to myself!
391
00:19:45,025 --> 00:19:46,585
The rest of my fall, if you're curious,
392
00:19:46,609 --> 00:19:48,783
is just Little League games and play-dates
393
00:19:48,784 --> 00:19:51,819
and macaroni-and-cheese and no handjobs.
394
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:55,618
You'll pay for this, Merriman!
Cash, no credit!
395
00:19:55,619 --> 00:20:00,289
You never get a second chance
to host your first Chill Society.
396
00:20:00,290 --> 00:20:03,880
You should take this enormous failure
and journal about it.
397
00:20:05,129 --> 00:20:06,339
See what you did?
398
00:20:06,340 --> 00:20:09,338
Our Kingdom is fucked,
and I look like a real dick swab!
399
00:20:09,341 --> 00:20:12,301
I hope you like dungeons,
because that's where you're going!
400
00:20:12,302 --> 00:20:14,428
I mean, unless you actually
do like dungeons,
401
00:20:14,429 --> 00:20:16,059
in which case
I'll find somewhere worse.
402
00:20:16,060 --> 00:20:19,056
- So, you know, please be honest about it.
- Honest?
403
00:20:19,059 --> 00:20:22,979
The way you've been honest
with the whole kingdom about your daddy?
404
00:20:22,980 --> 00:20:25,064
- [gasps]
- Oh, that's right!
405
00:20:25,065 --> 00:20:27,395
I know your deepest, darkest secret,
406
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,820
so I think we call this one a draw!
407
00:20:30,821 --> 00:20:32,697
♪
408
00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:34,698
- Uh...
- Aw, fine.
409
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:37,284
So, you talked to the Old Boob, huh?
410
00:20:37,285 --> 00:20:40,365
Do you really think
he should be king instead of me?
411
00:20:40,372 --> 00:20:43,541
No way. Have you heard
his electoral college idea?
412
00:20:43,542 --> 00:20:47,802
What is it with that man
and equally weighted state representation?
413
00:20:47,803 --> 00:20:52,756
[sighs] I'm sorry your weird
cult weekend got ruined.
414
00:20:52,759 --> 00:20:55,928
- I'm sorry you blackmailed me.
- Oh, my God.
415
00:20:55,929 --> 00:20:59,227
I've been a squire for a month
and I already blackmailed the king.
416
00:20:59,228 --> 00:21:00,515
What's become of me?
417
00:21:00,517 --> 00:21:03,686
What is that, a soliloquy?
Good job, Hamlet!
418
00:21:03,687 --> 00:21:05,307
Let's get the hell outta here.
419
00:21:05,313 --> 00:21:10,026
Pack my things!
And cancel the X-rated hypnotist!
420
00:21:10,027 --> 00:21:11,777
And where the hell is Blinkerquartz?
421
00:21:11,778 --> 00:21:14,197
Who's got room for Pie Club, huh?
422
00:21:14,198 --> 00:21:16,198
BROTH: [groaning]
Oh, God.
423
00:21:19,327 --> 00:21:23,206
I'm so glad to be home!
I can't wait to see Bungles!
424
00:21:23,207 --> 00:21:27,667
- Probably drunk in the moat again.
- Oh, I hope so! I love that bit!
425
00:21:28,461 --> 00:21:31,047
♪
426
00:21:31,048 --> 00:21:32,506
[gasps]
Assassin!
427
00:21:32,507 --> 00:21:34,127
[whispering echoes]
Assassin!
428
00:21:34,134 --> 00:21:38,470
Bungles, noooooooooo!
429
00:21:38,471 --> 00:21:42,558
- [labored breathing]
- You must hang on!
430
00:21:42,559 --> 00:21:47,059
Who... me?
[coughs, chokes]
431
00:21:49,357 --> 00:21:53,777
[crying]
Heaven just got a little more hilarious.
432
00:21:53,779 --> 00:21:57,029
[sobbing]
433
00:21:57,032 --> 00:22:00,042
[King wailing]
434
00:22:02,788 --> 00:22:04,788
♪
435
00:22:35,821 --> 00:22:37,911
CHILD: That was amazing!
33090
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
