All language subtitles for American Dad 16x05 - Tapped Out (English)
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,732 --> 00:00:04,532
What about this one, Steve?
2
00:00:04,534 --> 00:00:05,733
It's got a train on it.
3
00:00:05,735 --> 00:00:07,068
Oh, sick!
4
00:00:07,070 --> 00:00:08,270
That's the engine!
5
00:00:08,272 --> 00:00:09,671
That's the cool part.
6
00:00:09,673 --> 00:00:11,806
There's a caboose on your butt flap!
7
00:00:11,808 --> 00:00:13,675
For your choo-choo poo-poos!
8
00:00:13,677 --> 00:00:15,143
Mom, this is baby stuff.
9
00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:16,744
I'm going to go see what
the guy's section has
10
00:00:16,746 --> 00:00:18,212
in the way of butt flaps.
11
00:00:18,214 --> 00:00:20,414
Great, that sounds fun. Come on, Klaus.
12
00:00:20,416 --> 00:00:23,217
Actually, I was thinking,
it's a new year.
13
00:00:23,219 --> 00:00:25,219
Maybe it's time for a new me.
14
00:00:25,221 --> 00:00:28,490
A me who picks out his own clothes.
15
00:00:29,499 --> 00:00:30,825
Wow.
16
00:00:30,827 --> 00:00:33,561
You must be freaking out.
17
00:00:33,563 --> 00:00:37,231
Why? Sure, Steve's growing up,
but he's my son.
18
00:00:37,233 --> 00:00:39,201
We'll always have a special connection.
19
00:00:39,209 --> 00:00:40,968
Bullshit!
20
00:00:40,970 --> 00:00:42,103
You're freaking!
21
00:00:42,105 --> 00:00:43,972
Mama's little boy is becoming a guy,
22
00:00:43,974 --> 00:00:46,040
and you can't handle it.
23
00:00:46,042 --> 00:00:48,642
It's just the natural
order of things, Klaus.
24
00:00:48,644 --> 00:00:50,244
Boys become guys.
25
00:00:50,246 --> 00:00:54,182
Guys become big guys,
and big guys can get it.
26
00:00:55,852 --> 00:00:58,252
You're being really cool right now.
27
00:00:58,254 --> 00:00:59,921
The secret to shopping at outlets
28
00:00:59,923 --> 00:01:02,857
is that only the newbies
pick off the outer crust.
29
00:01:02,859 --> 00:01:04,592
You've got to dig for the gems.
30
00:01:04,594 --> 00:01:06,528
Put in some elbow grease.
31
00:01:06,530 --> 00:01:07,729
Polo sport?
32
00:01:07,731 --> 00:01:08,997
Uh, yes please.
33
00:01:08,999 --> 00:01:12,601
So big. So yellow. It's a keeper!
34
00:01:14,604 --> 00:01:16,004
- Mm?
- Yes!
35
00:01:16,006 --> 00:01:17,872
- Mm?
- Must have!
36
00:01:17,874 --> 00:01:19,473
- Mm?
- Great piece!
37
00:01:19,475 --> 00:01:20,808
- Mm?
- So you!
38
00:01:20,810 --> 00:01:22,944
My God, these deals are amazing.
39
00:01:22,946 --> 00:01:25,679
Tell me about it.
I just got this phone for free!
40
00:01:25,681 --> 00:01:26,881
Nuh-uh. Where?
41
00:01:26,883 --> 00:01:28,816
That man's pocket.
42
00:01:28,818 --> 00:01:30,618
I found my new look.
43
00:01:30,620 --> 00:01:32,954
I hope you like it as much as I do!
44
00:01:39,696 --> 00:01:40,895
Oh, man.
45
00:01:40,897 --> 00:01:43,965
And I thought I liked the train!
46
00:01:43,967 --> 00:01:45,033
Mom?
47
00:01:45,035 --> 00:01:48,703
Uh... I love it?
48
00:01:48,705 --> 00:01:50,438
You... look like
49
00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:53,742
you probably have a kid
from a previous marriage!
50
00:01:57,647 --> 00:02:00,314
? Good morning, U.S.A. ?
51
00:02:00,316 --> 00:02:04,052
? I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ?
52
00:02:04,054 --> 00:02:07,055
? The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ?
53
00:02:07,057 --> 00:02:11,293
? And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ?
54
00:02:13,597 --> 00:02:16,598
? Oh, boy, it's swell to say ?
55
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:19,133
- ? Good... ?
- ? Good morning, U.S.A. ?
56
00:02:19,135 --> 00:02:20,936
Aah!
57
00:02:21,805 --> 00:02:24,806
? Good morning, U.S.A. ?
58
00:02:24,808 --> 00:02:27,208
_
59
00:02:27,210 --> 00:02:29,277
Are you sure about this, Steve?
60
00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:31,746
As a group, we've always adhered
61
00:02:31,748 --> 00:02:33,481
to a low-profile philosophy.
62
00:02:33,483 --> 00:02:35,417
That's why we never make an impression!
63
00:02:35,419 --> 00:02:38,486
Every semester,
people think we're transfer students.
64
00:02:38,488 --> 00:02:40,955
I'm looking to turn eyeballs, fellas.
65
00:02:40,957 --> 00:02:43,225
I'm talking 180 degrees...
66
00:02:43,227 --> 00:02:46,294
Fahrenheit because I'm red-hot!
67
00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:47,762
You guys coming?
68
00:02:47,764 --> 00:02:50,131
This is your time to shine.
69
00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:58,406
Smith!
70
00:02:58,415 --> 00:03:00,041
What are you wearing?
71
00:03:00,043 --> 00:03:02,777
Because it looks so incredible on you!
72
00:03:02,779 --> 00:03:05,741
Three cheers for his wonderful clothes!
73
00:03:06,116 --> 00:03:08,983
Steve,
I thought you were a total slonch,
74
00:03:08,985 --> 00:03:10,718
but you're hella drich.
75
00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:11,986
Okay, girls, clear out.
76
00:03:11,988 --> 00:03:13,387
You don't have to go to class,
77
00:03:13,389 --> 00:03:15,189
but you can't block my bulletin board.
78
00:03:15,758 --> 00:03:17,259
What's that for, Principal Lewis?
79
00:03:17,261 --> 00:03:19,127
Audition sheet for the school play.
80
00:03:19,129 --> 00:03:21,129
It doesn't really concern
low-profile kids like...
81
00:03:21,131 --> 00:03:23,665
You are the star of my play!
82
00:03:23,667 --> 00:03:25,133
Tapout? You're the one!
83
00:03:25,135 --> 00:03:27,068
You're my Oedipus Rex!
84
00:03:27,070 --> 00:03:29,804
Auditions are canceled!
85
00:03:29,806 --> 00:03:32,140
Geez. What a reception.
86
00:03:32,142 --> 00:03:34,943
Smith, you're going to be
the man this year.
87
00:03:34,945 --> 00:03:37,479
Don't make friends with
the transfer students.
88
00:03:40,750 --> 00:03:41,749
Check.
89
00:03:41,751 --> 00:03:43,485
Check.
90
00:03:43,487 --> 00:03:44,752
Check.
91
00:03:44,754 --> 00:03:45,954
All secure.
92
00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:48,756
Klaus!
93
00:03:48,758 --> 00:03:50,492
Stop sneaking around!
94
00:03:50,494 --> 00:03:52,894
But I'm the silent hero of this house.
95
00:03:52,896 --> 00:03:54,696
No one asked you to do this.
96
00:03:54,698 --> 00:03:56,898
Sometimes, a hero has to do the things
97
00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:59,701
nobody asked him to do.
98
00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,108
Oh, a light.
99
00:04:07,110 --> 00:04:08,376
Wow, it's gone.
100
00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:10,912
I'm seeing things. Must be tired.
101
00:04:11,663 --> 00:04:12,780
It's back!
102
00:04:12,782 --> 00:04:14,382
I should call for backup.
103
00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:15,783
But they won't come.
104
00:04:15,785 --> 00:04:17,651
They don't exist.
105
00:04:17,653 --> 00:04:19,120
I'll have to go alone.
106
00:04:22,993 --> 00:04:26,060
Oh, Francine, you milky marvel.
107
00:04:26,062 --> 00:04:28,663
You're a one-woman dairy farm.
108
00:04:29,399 --> 00:04:33,201
Francine, what are you doing?!
109
00:04:33,203 --> 00:04:35,203
- Sewing.
- No, you're not!
110
00:04:35,205 --> 00:04:37,339
You have things on your boobs!
111
00:04:37,341 --> 00:04:38,540
A sewing machine.
112
00:04:38,542 --> 00:04:40,875
No.
113
00:04:40,877 --> 00:04:42,944
Okay, it's a breast pump.
114
00:04:42,946 --> 00:04:45,213
I pump a little breast milk now and then
115
00:04:45,215 --> 00:04:47,015
and sneak it into Steve's food.
116
00:04:47,017 --> 00:04:48,616
A little?!
117
00:04:48,618 --> 00:04:51,285
You've got the pump turned all
the way up to "thirsty boy"!
118
00:04:51,287 --> 00:04:53,487
Steve needs it for his health,
119
00:04:53,489 --> 00:04:55,957
and it's not like I'm
doing it in the park.
120
00:04:55,959 --> 00:04:58,292
No, you're doing it in a secret bunker.
121
00:04:58,294 --> 00:05:02,163
A shame dungeon because
you know it's wrong!
122
00:05:02,165 --> 00:05:04,566
It's completely natural.
123
00:05:04,568 --> 00:05:07,969
It's just that society
doesn't understand.
124
00:05:07,971 --> 00:05:09,170
Anyway, now that you know
125
00:05:09,172 --> 00:05:11,973
my shameful, very natural secret,
126
00:05:11,975 --> 00:05:14,042
will you please not tell Steve?
127
00:05:14,044 --> 00:05:16,244
He has a lot on his plate right now.
128
00:05:16,246 --> 00:05:18,913
- A lot of breast milk.
- No, really, Klaus.
129
00:05:18,915 --> 00:05:20,248
I need you to promise.
130
00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:22,717
He does have a lot on
his plate right now,
131
00:05:22,719 --> 00:05:26,854
with his whole style
change and the school play.
132
00:05:26,856 --> 00:05:28,122
Okay.
133
00:05:28,124 --> 00:05:30,458
Your secret is safe with me.
134
00:05:30,460 --> 00:05:33,861
See?! You have been drinking it, bro!
135
00:05:33,863 --> 00:05:36,064
So gross!
136
00:05:36,066 --> 00:05:37,531
Mom, why?!
137
00:05:37,533 --> 00:05:39,867
With everything on my plate right now!
138
00:05:39,869 --> 00:05:41,236
Aah!
139
00:05:51,821 --> 00:05:54,088
Is this turtleneck too high up?
140
00:05:54,090 --> 00:05:55,557
Is it... Is it too much material?
141
00:05:55,559 --> 00:05:57,091
Maybe your neck is not long enough.
142
00:05:57,093 --> 00:05:58,760
Maybe you just can't rock a turtleneck.
143
00:05:58,762 --> 00:06:00,428
Take that back!
144
00:06:00,430 --> 00:06:01,896
I won't. It's true.
145
00:06:01,898 --> 00:06:04,432
I have yet to meet the
garment that I cannot rock!
146
00:06:04,434 --> 00:06:07,501
Now that I think about it,
your short neck's kind of gross.
147
00:06:07,503 --> 00:06:09,037
You look nothing like a swan.
148
00:06:09,039 --> 00:06:11,172
Look at me... total swan.
149
00:06:11,174 --> 00:06:14,308
Duck lips, swan neck,
peacock attitude...
150
00:06:14,310 --> 00:06:15,843
the full bird, Stan.
151
00:06:15,845 --> 00:06:18,312
- Oh, this phone takes video?
- All phones take video.
152
00:06:18,314 --> 00:06:20,382
Whatever, Stump-neck. So does mine.
153
00:06:20,384 --> 00:06:21,916
Check it out!
154
00:06:21,918 --> 00:06:23,918
I'm a director now!
155
00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:26,788
Hazel Bazels, a documentary director.
156
00:06:26,790 --> 00:06:27,989
Meet the crew.
157
00:06:27,991 --> 00:06:29,591
Been on every one of my films.
158
00:06:29,593 --> 00:06:31,259
When you've been to the
places we've been together,
159
00:06:31,261 --> 00:06:33,261
talk about a band of brothers!
160
00:06:33,263 --> 00:06:35,397
I take it you don't
need the phone anymore?
161
00:06:35,399 --> 00:06:36,798
Hey, where'd everybody go?
162
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:39,000
Those scumbags tried to unionize.
163
00:06:39,002 --> 00:06:41,669
Turns out Allen was
the little ringleader.
164
00:06:41,671 --> 00:06:43,271
I've got nothing against unions.
165
00:06:43,273 --> 00:06:46,274
My daddy was a union man...
Pipe Fitters Local 97.
166
00:06:46,276 --> 00:06:49,611
But unions just don't make
sense for certain industries.
167
00:06:49,613 --> 00:06:51,079
For instance, pipe fitting.
168
00:06:51,081 --> 00:06:52,880
I mean, what the hell kind
of job is that, anyway?
169
00:06:52,882 --> 00:06:55,083
Just go to Home Depot and match them up!
170
00:06:55,085 --> 00:06:58,086
Does this one fit? No.
Does this one fit? Yes! Done!
171
00:06:58,088 --> 00:07:00,021
Anyway, I'm a director now!
172
00:07:02,416 --> 00:07:03,691
Good morning, Steve.
173
00:07:03,693 --> 00:07:05,093
How's my little guy?
174
00:07:05,095 --> 00:07:06,828
Not still mad at his mommy
175
00:07:06,830 --> 00:07:09,163
for the whole breast-milk situmation!
176
00:07:09,165 --> 00:07:11,565
Your first day of rehearsal today.
177
00:07:11,567 --> 00:07:12,967
I want you to be ready.
178
00:07:12,969 --> 00:07:14,836
I made pancakes.
179
00:07:14,838 --> 00:07:17,772
I will never accept food
or drink from you again!
180
00:07:17,774 --> 00:07:20,308
Is this about the
breast-milk situmation?
181
00:07:20,310 --> 00:07:22,844
Yes! How could you do this to me?
182
00:07:22,846 --> 00:07:27,181
I didn't do it to you. I did it for you!
183
00:07:27,183 --> 00:07:29,517
I was going to stop
when everyone else did,
184
00:07:29,519 --> 00:07:31,119
but I forgot to Google it!
185
00:07:31,121 --> 00:07:34,922
Well, maybe you could have
Googled it before I turned 14!
186
00:07:34,924 --> 00:07:37,125
It was never a good time.
187
00:07:37,127 --> 00:07:39,193
First, your eyes went bad.
188
00:07:39,195 --> 00:07:42,396
Next, we found out
you were allergic to bees!
189
00:07:42,398 --> 00:07:46,000
Third grade took you
almost a year to complete!
190
00:07:46,002 --> 00:07:48,202
I mean, who knows what would happen
191
00:07:48,204 --> 00:07:50,204
if I took my breast milk away.
192
00:07:50,206 --> 00:07:53,141
Thank God for this prepackaged,
not legally orange juice!
193
00:07:53,143 --> 00:07:56,344
Honey, at least
let me cook you some eggs!
194
00:07:56,346 --> 00:07:59,948
How do I know you didn't
lay them yourself, Mother?
195
00:08:04,256 --> 00:08:06,154
Hey, I'm Steve, your costar.
196
00:08:06,156 --> 00:08:07,355
I'll be playing Oedipus.
197
00:08:07,357 --> 00:08:08,823
Welcome to high-school theater.
198
00:08:08,825 --> 00:08:10,024
Here's what you need to know...
199
00:08:10,026 --> 00:08:11,292
We leave it all on the stage,
200
00:08:11,294 --> 00:08:12,694
and after every show, we go to Denny's
201
00:08:12,696 --> 00:08:14,228
and pour a bunch of sugar on the table.
202
00:08:14,230 --> 00:08:16,631
Cool. I look forward
to working with you.
203
00:08:17,901 --> 00:08:19,501
Wake up, Smith!
204
00:08:19,503 --> 00:08:21,903
Welcome to the first rehearsal
for my musical re-imagining
205
00:08:21,905 --> 00:08:24,639
of the Greek tragedy "Oedipus Rex."
206
00:08:24,641 --> 00:08:26,774
Right now it's called "Oedipus Rox"
207
00:08:26,776 --> 00:08:28,910
because the school board
wouldn't let me call it
208
00:08:28,912 --> 00:08:30,444
"Mother[BLEEP]!"
209
00:08:31,554 --> 00:08:33,247
So when choosing this year's play,
210
00:08:33,249 --> 00:08:36,384
I asked myself,
"What would I like to see?"
211
00:08:36,386 --> 00:08:38,252
The obvious answer is a kid
212
00:08:38,254 --> 00:08:40,855
kissing another kid
who's playing his mom,
213
00:08:40,857 --> 00:08:44,859
so it's kind of like
three layers of nasty.
214
00:08:44,861 --> 00:08:47,662
- Smith, are you asleep?!
- Sorry.
215
00:08:47,664 --> 00:08:49,664
I-I don't know what's wrong.
216
00:08:49,666 --> 00:08:52,021
I-I'm just exhausted.
217
00:08:52,056 --> 00:08:53,801
I only had orange juice for breakfast.
218
00:08:53,803 --> 00:08:56,270
I'm kind of trying a new diet.
219
00:08:56,272 --> 00:08:58,873
Interesting. I'm on a new diet myself...
220
00:08:58,875 --> 00:09:01,075
I drink nothing but
Icees until 11:00 p.m.,
221
00:09:01,077 --> 00:09:03,545
and then I have a gallon
and a half of jambalaya.
222
00:09:03,547 --> 00:09:04,946
I've never felt better!
223
00:09:04,948 --> 00:09:08,282
Also, I need this play to
be an absolute success,
224
00:09:08,284 --> 00:09:11,019
so if it isn't, you're dead.
225
00:09:11,661 --> 00:09:14,622
I need breast milk!
226
00:09:14,624 --> 00:09:16,358
Ring-a-ding-ding.
227
00:09:18,828 --> 00:09:20,828
Dispatch, I'm on the scene now.
228
00:09:20,830 --> 00:09:22,830
Whoa!
229
00:09:30,467 --> 00:09:33,135
Stopping the milk cold
turkey was a bad idea.
230
00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:35,938
I just need a little bit,
just to get my head right.
231
00:09:35,940 --> 00:09:36,872
Of course.
232
00:09:36,873 --> 00:09:39,274
You have too much at stake
right now with the play.
233
00:09:39,358 --> 00:09:40,609
I still want to stop,
234
00:09:40,611 --> 00:09:42,545
but instead of quitting all at once,
235
00:09:42,547 --> 00:09:45,214
I think we should wean me off gradually.
236
00:09:45,216 --> 00:09:46,549
That's so smart.
237
00:09:46,551 --> 00:09:48,951
You're not a quitter. You're a weaner.
238
00:09:48,953 --> 00:09:50,219
That's right!
239
00:09:50,221 --> 00:09:53,088
I am a lean, mean, weaning machine!
240
00:09:53,090 --> 00:09:54,289
Wean me, mama!
241
00:09:56,226 --> 00:10:00,629
Oh, it's so nice to go
back to normal with you.
242
00:10:00,681 --> 00:10:02,948
What's my documentary about?
243
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:04,149
Myself?
244
00:10:04,151 --> 00:10:06,018
Am I the most interesting thing?
245
00:10:06,020 --> 00:10:08,821
Roger, Linda Memari's pet chimpanzee
246
00:10:08,823 --> 00:10:10,889
ripped Jeff's face off.
247
00:10:10,891 --> 00:10:12,691
The doctors were able
to do a transplant,
248
00:10:12,693 --> 00:10:15,227
but there was only one face available.
249
00:10:15,229 --> 00:10:16,895
Please be gentle.
250
00:10:16,897 --> 00:10:19,097
Come on in, honey.
251
00:10:19,099 --> 00:10:21,033
Is it noticeable, babe?
252
00:10:21,035 --> 00:10:22,435
For the love of God,
253
00:10:22,437 --> 00:10:26,105
could one film-worthy
thing happen around here?
254
00:10:30,778 --> 00:10:34,680
All right, Smith.
You better bring the goods... or else.
255
00:10:38,653 --> 00:10:42,787
? Oedipus' mom has got it going on ?
256
00:10:42,789 --> 00:10:44,990
? She's all I want and... ?
257
00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:46,926
Wait, did I say, "Mom"? I meant...
258
00:10:47,008 --> 00:10:50,996
? Oedipus' wife,
she's the love of my life ?
259
00:10:50,998 --> 00:10:52,397
? There is nothing wrong ?
260
00:10:52,399 --> 00:10:56,401
? My wife is probably not my mom ?
261
00:10:57,330 --> 00:10:59,338
Yeah! Nailed it, Smith!
262
00:10:59,340 --> 00:11:01,474
When I wrote those words,
I wasn't sure about it,
263
00:11:01,476 --> 00:11:04,677
but the tune you made up
really brought it home.
264
00:11:07,081 --> 00:11:08,347
Mm-hmm.
265
00:11:08,349 --> 00:11:11,216
Roger is not the only swan around here.
266
00:11:11,218 --> 00:11:13,686
Turtleneck, get ready to be rocked.
267
00:11:14,061 --> 00:11:16,555
Excuse me, Stan.
Cody and I are location scouting.
268
00:11:16,557 --> 00:11:19,291
I think maybe the right
place could spark an idea.
269
00:11:19,293 --> 00:11:21,426
What if I made a documentary
270
00:11:21,428 --> 00:11:24,163
about living in a bathroom for a month?
271
00:11:24,165 --> 00:11:26,298
Call it "Bathroom Man."
272
00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:27,700
Okay. There's something there.
273
00:11:27,702 --> 00:11:29,434
Yeah! Yeah!
274
00:11:29,436 --> 00:11:30,703
I mean... I mean, maybe. I...
275
00:11:30,705 --> 00:11:33,105
Cody is quiet, so I know he hates it.
276
00:11:33,107 --> 00:11:34,573
Well, let's go buy some balloons.
277
00:11:34,575 --> 00:11:37,510
Those things really cheer me up.
278
00:11:37,512 --> 00:11:40,179
Sounds like things
went really well today.
279
00:11:40,181 --> 00:11:43,315
I'll say, which got me thinking.
280
00:11:43,317 --> 00:11:46,719
Since the milk does seem to
have a positive effect...
281
00:11:46,721 --> 00:11:49,654
It does seem to be
having a positive effect.
282
00:11:49,656 --> 00:11:53,192
Right, right?
So maybe while the play is going on,
283
00:11:53,194 --> 00:11:55,060
weaning gets put on hold.
284
00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:59,398
On hold, yes, because of the play!
285
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:03,736
The play is the thing,
a-and then we'll reassess.
286
00:12:03,738 --> 00:12:05,003
Right! Right!
287
00:12:05,005 --> 00:12:07,606
Do we wean? Do we increase the milk?
288
00:12:07,608 --> 00:12:11,076
Do we reassess whether
we even need to reassess?
289
00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:13,345
Ooh, that is smart,
290
00:12:13,347 --> 00:12:17,282
and certainly nothing gets
decided before the play is done.
291
00:12:17,342 --> 00:12:18,551
Heaven forbid.
292
00:12:18,553 --> 00:12:20,219
I must fly now, Mother.
293
00:12:20,221 --> 00:12:22,087
Toodeloo!
294
00:12:24,425 --> 00:12:27,760
Looks like trust has been
restored between you and Steve.
295
00:12:27,762 --> 00:12:28,761
- Yeah.
- Well,
296
00:12:28,763 --> 00:12:31,797
I've got something that
might set it back a bit.
297
00:12:36,010 --> 00:12:37,313
_
298
00:12:41,308 --> 00:12:45,043
You dosed his D so he'd
run back to your milk,
299
00:12:45,045 --> 00:12:46,979
and I've got the proof!
300
00:12:49,383 --> 00:12:52,251
Ha! You think that was my only copy?
301
00:12:52,253 --> 00:12:54,186
- Yes.
- You're right.
302
00:12:54,188 --> 00:12:56,388
? So won't you please ?
303
00:12:56,390 --> 00:12:58,523
? Be my, be my baby ?
304
00:12:58,525 --> 00:13:00,459
? Be my little baby ?
305
00:13:00,461 --> 00:13:02,261
? My one and only baby ?
306
00:13:02,263 --> 00:13:04,129
? Say you'll be my darling ?
307
00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:06,131
? Be my, be my baby ?
308
00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:08,133
? Be my baby now ?
309
00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:11,604
- ? My one and only baby ?
- ? Whoa, oh, oh, oh ?
310
00:13:11,606 --> 00:13:15,274
? I'll make you happy, baby ?
311
00:13:15,276 --> 00:13:18,411
? Just wait and see ?
312
00:13:18,413 --> 00:13:22,615
? For every kiss you give me ?
313
00:13:22,617 --> 00:13:24,349
? I'll give you three ?
314
00:13:24,351 --> 00:13:27,820
? Whoa, oh, oh, oh ?
315
00:13:27,822 --> 00:13:29,822
? Be my, be my baby ?
316
00:13:34,962 --> 00:13:36,361
Hot house tonight!
317
00:13:36,363 --> 00:13:38,363
I think I see some scouts out there.
318
00:13:38,365 --> 00:13:39,498
Three guys in the middle look like
319
00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:41,434
they're definitely from New York.
320
00:13:47,308 --> 00:13:49,574
Psst. Hey, lady!
321
00:13:49,576 --> 00:13:51,644
Hey, Francine, I think that boy
322
00:13:51,646 --> 00:13:53,446
is trying to get your attention.
323
00:13:53,448 --> 00:13:55,848
I'll go see what he wants.
324
00:13:55,850 --> 00:13:57,382
I-I-I can't do this!
325
00:13:57,384 --> 00:13:58,651
Why did I ever think I could do this?
326
00:13:58,653 --> 00:14:00,853
- I need some milk!
- I gave you milk.
327
00:14:00,855 --> 00:14:02,321
It's all gone!
328
00:14:02,323 --> 00:14:04,457
My... My... My stomach is in knots!
329
00:14:04,459 --> 00:14:06,525
That's just nerves.
330
00:14:06,527 --> 00:14:09,795
Or maybe I need to burp you.
331
00:14:09,797 --> 00:14:11,130
I'm not a baby!
332
00:14:11,132 --> 00:14:12,397
I don't need burps!
333
00:14:12,399 --> 00:14:14,599
- I need breast milk!
- I didn't bring any!
334
00:14:14,601 --> 00:14:16,535
Quit holding out on me.
335
00:14:16,537 --> 00:14:19,271
You always have it on you.
336
00:14:22,343 --> 00:14:24,810
The anticipation is peaking.
337
00:14:24,812 --> 00:14:26,011
Start the play.
338
00:14:26,013 --> 00:14:27,680
But, maestro,
it's five minutes until curtain!
339
00:14:27,682 --> 00:14:29,281
I said start the play!
340
00:14:29,283 --> 00:14:30,816
Curtain! Curtain! Curtain!
341
00:14:30,818 --> 00:14:32,217
Mmm.
342
00:14:35,356 --> 00:14:38,491
Mmm. Mmm.
343
00:14:39,330 --> 00:14:40,959
Mmm.
344
00:14:41,833 --> 00:14:44,429
- Huh?
- There's my movie!
345
00:14:44,431 --> 00:14:45,698
Yeah!
346
00:14:45,700 --> 00:14:47,566
I just hope that student
with her boob out
347
00:14:47,568 --> 00:14:50,403
is at least a junior or a senior.
348
00:14:50,881 --> 00:14:53,944
So you're going to live
down in the basement. Why?
349
00:14:54,142 --> 00:14:56,056
Well, the town turned on us
350
00:14:56,058 --> 00:14:59,393
because of their puritanical
views of breastfeeding.
351
00:14:59,395 --> 00:15:01,595
Yeah. My tried to drop me off at school,
352
00:15:01,597 --> 00:15:03,397
and everyone threw rocks at us.
353
00:15:03,399 --> 00:15:05,832
And at the grocery store. More rocks.
354
00:15:05,908 --> 00:15:07,533
It just seems like everybody is
355
00:15:07,535 --> 00:15:09,535
throwing rocks at us these days.
356
00:15:09,537 --> 00:15:11,938
- Don't look right at the camera!
- Roger!
357
00:15:11,940 --> 00:15:13,940
If you want this film to change
people's minds about you,
358
00:15:13,942 --> 00:15:15,275
we've got to make it right.
359
00:15:15,277 --> 00:15:16,476
It's got to look slick!
360
00:15:16,478 --> 00:15:17,877
I don't care how it looks
361
00:15:17,879 --> 00:15:20,546
as long as it shows
everyone the truth...
362
00:15:20,548 --> 00:15:24,618
that long-term breastfeeding
is perfectly natural.
363
00:15:24,620 --> 00:15:26,620
Then we won't be pariahs,
364
00:15:26,622 --> 00:15:28,554
and maybe we'll even be allowed
365
00:15:28,556 --> 00:15:30,090
back up in the main house.
366
00:15:31,427 --> 00:15:35,361
That's the last one, Mr. S.
367
00:15:35,363 --> 00:15:37,363
Oh, that's nice.
368
00:15:37,365 --> 00:15:39,099
Oh, that's better.
369
00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:43,970
What was I saying?
370
00:15:43,972 --> 00:15:46,172
Oh, yeah... No freaks in the main house!
371
00:15:46,174 --> 00:15:47,641
Those freaks make me sick!
372
00:15:47,643 --> 00:15:49,575
Do you hear me down there, you weirdos?
373
00:15:49,577 --> 00:15:50,989
Freaks! Freaks!
374
00:15:55,135 --> 00:15:56,650
I guess Dad hasn't changed his mind
375
00:15:56,652 --> 00:15:58,652
about banishing us to the basement.
376
00:15:58,654 --> 00:16:01,187
I really hope
this documentary works, Mom.
377
00:16:01,189 --> 00:16:02,456
Don't worry, Steve.
378
00:16:02,458 --> 00:16:05,258
If there's one thing
your dad responds to,
379
00:16:05,260 --> 00:16:07,393
it's documentary films.
380
00:16:07,395 --> 00:16:09,195
_
381
00:16:09,197 --> 00:16:12,499
Little Stevie, time for bed!
382
00:16:12,570 --> 00:16:14,568
Nuh-uh!
383
00:16:16,247 --> 00:16:18,472
Cooperate, young man!
384
00:16:21,943 --> 00:16:23,943
Do we know when Roger's
movie is coming out?
385
00:16:23,945 --> 00:16:25,545
Do we have a timeline on that?
386
00:16:25,547 --> 00:16:28,682
If you go straight to
night-nights with no fussing,
387
00:16:28,684 --> 00:16:31,952
I'll sneak up past your dad
and check in with Roger.
388
00:16:31,954 --> 00:16:35,221
Okay, but can you please turn
on the white-noise machine
389
00:16:35,223 --> 00:16:36,490
before you leave?
390
00:16:36,492 --> 00:16:38,158
It helps me go to sleep.
391
00:16:49,838 --> 00:16:52,706
Roger, when's your documentary
going to be done?
392
00:16:52,708 --> 00:16:54,574
Ah, I see what's happening here...
393
00:16:54,576 --> 00:16:57,043
You don't know I switched projects
about a month ago.
394
00:16:57,045 --> 00:16:59,513
You did? Why didn't you tell me?
395
00:16:59,515 --> 00:17:00,780
Have you been down to
the basement lately?
396
00:17:00,782 --> 00:17:03,183
It's a real weird scene down there.
397
00:17:03,185 --> 00:17:05,319
Hey, does Stan know
you're in the main house?
398
00:17:05,321 --> 00:17:06,653
Are you kidding me?!
399
00:17:06,655 --> 00:17:08,388
Gordon, will you run down to the bodega
400
00:17:08,390 --> 00:17:10,456
and grab me some kind of yummy chip?
401
00:17:10,458 --> 00:17:11,725
Actually, no, just bring me a pasta.
402
00:17:11,727 --> 00:17:14,862
Bring me a pasta from
wherever you think is good.
403
00:17:16,798 --> 00:17:19,733
I trusted you to tell our story!
404
00:17:19,735 --> 00:17:21,801
It was just too strange, Francine,
405
00:17:21,803 --> 00:17:24,338
so I pivoted to
Long-neck and Chimp-face.
406
00:17:24,340 --> 00:17:25,672
- They're more relatable.
- What?!
407
00:17:25,674 --> 00:17:28,274
They have an amazing
and unlikely friendship.
408
00:17:28,276 --> 00:17:30,544
Stan and Jeff?!
409
00:17:30,546 --> 00:17:32,078
Oh, yeah.
I hadn't thought of it that way.
410
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:35,481
You have to show people
how normal we are!
411
00:17:35,483 --> 00:17:38,518
How about I show you how normal you are.
412
00:17:41,423 --> 00:17:42,622
Do you like my outfit?
413
00:17:42,624 --> 00:17:44,224
It's Tapout from head to toe,
414
00:17:44,226 --> 00:17:47,661
except for the middle part,
which is pure Stevie skin.
415
00:17:48,564 --> 00:17:51,732
Stevie! Lunchtime!
416
00:17:55,037 --> 00:17:58,438
? Old McDonald had a farm ?
417
00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:00,574
? Ee-i-ee-i... ? Ow!
418
00:18:00,576 --> 00:18:02,576
All of his teeth are in.
419
00:18:02,578 --> 00:18:05,311
? And on that farm, he had a... ?
420
00:18:05,313 --> 00:18:06,580
? Mom ?
421
00:18:06,582 --> 00:18:08,782
? Ee-i-ee-i-o ?
422
00:18:08,784 --> 00:18:12,318
? With a milk-milk here
and a milk-milk there ?
423
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:16,056
? Here a milk, there a milk,
everywhere a milk-milk ?
424
00:18:16,058 --> 00:18:17,523
Oh, my God.
425
00:18:17,525 --> 00:18:18,792
We are freaks.
426
00:18:18,794 --> 00:18:20,927
Maybe the rocks were right.
427
00:18:20,929 --> 00:18:23,463
But, Mom, I-I need the milk!
428
00:18:23,465 --> 00:18:24,998
I-I'm uncoordinated!
429
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,400
I'm allergic to bees!
430
00:18:26,402 --> 00:18:28,534
I've got these tiny, little eyes,
431
00:18:28,536 --> 00:18:30,336
and when I went off the milk,
432
00:18:30,338 --> 00:18:32,205
I fell asleep in school!
433
00:18:32,207 --> 00:18:34,140
Yes, about that...
434
00:18:34,142 --> 00:18:38,344
That morning,
I put sizzurp in your SunnyD.
435
00:18:38,346 --> 00:18:40,080
That's why I was so tired?
436
00:18:40,082 --> 00:18:41,347
I guess.
437
00:18:41,349 --> 00:18:44,284
And now we can go back
to our normal lives,
438
00:18:44,286 --> 00:18:48,222
knowing that neither of us
was to blame for anything.
439
00:18:48,224 --> 00:18:49,555
Okay.
440
00:18:49,557 --> 00:18:51,425
Mother knows best.
441
00:18:56,708 --> 00:18:59,833
- Oh, no.
- I like milk!
442
00:18:59,835 --> 00:19:03,470
It's my thing, and I'll never,
ever stop drinking it!
443
00:19:06,068 --> 00:19:07,007
I told you guys,
444
00:19:07,098 --> 00:19:09,709
keep your freak show
out of the main house!
445
00:19:09,711 --> 00:19:12,312
Mama, I'm hungry!
446
00:19:12,314 --> 00:19:14,448
Well, I ruined Steve.
447
00:19:14,450 --> 00:19:16,182
Francine, no.
448
00:19:16,184 --> 00:19:18,652
What Steve needs is an
experience so negative
449
00:19:18,654 --> 00:19:20,854
that he'll never want to suckle again.
450
00:19:20,856 --> 00:19:23,590
- What do you mean?
- Taint the milk.
451
00:19:24,110 --> 00:19:25,592
He's allergic to bees!
452
00:19:25,594 --> 00:19:27,794
You're going to put bees in the milk?
453
00:19:27,796 --> 00:19:29,663
Don't be an idiot, Klaus.
454
00:19:29,665 --> 00:19:32,466
Why work hard when you can work easy?
455
00:19:35,403 --> 00:19:37,203
Mmm. Mmm.
456
00:19:37,205 --> 00:19:41,475
The answer was so obvious. Mmm.
457
00:19:41,477 --> 00:19:43,810
It's what any mother would do!
458
00:19:43,812 --> 00:19:46,146
Yeah, girl! Solve your problems!
459
00:19:46,148 --> 00:19:48,482
Eat those bees!
460
00:19:53,555 --> 00:19:54,888
Milk.
461
00:19:54,890 --> 00:19:56,089
I need milk.
462
00:19:56,091 --> 00:19:57,557
You're awake!
463
00:19:57,559 --> 00:19:58,892
Doctor, he's awake!
464
00:19:58,894 --> 00:20:00,894
I'll be the judge of that.
465
00:20:00,896 --> 00:20:03,497
- Ow!
- I judge that he is awake.
466
00:20:03,499 --> 00:20:05,832
I need milk. I'll die without it.
467
00:20:05,834 --> 00:20:07,301
No, you won't, son.
468
00:20:07,303 --> 00:20:08,135
You've been in a coma,
469
00:20:08,234 --> 00:20:10,904
and you haven't had a drop
of milk in almost a year.
470
00:20:10,906 --> 00:20:12,906
A lot has happened in that time...
471
00:20:12,908 --> 00:20:15,775
I got remarried, lost my ring again,
472
00:20:15,777 --> 00:20:17,577
I rode a bike across Idaho,
473
00:20:17,579 --> 00:20:18,978
and I reconnected
474
00:20:18,980 --> 00:20:20,714
with my high-school
social-studies teacher,
475
00:20:20,716 --> 00:20:22,716
but enough about me.
476
00:20:22,718 --> 00:20:24,784
Mom, what happened?
477
00:20:24,786 --> 00:20:28,588
Let's not worry about who
ate bees to poison who.
478
00:20:28,590 --> 00:20:31,057
The important thing is now I realize
479
00:20:31,059 --> 00:20:33,593
it's not the milk that connects us,
480
00:20:33,595 --> 00:20:37,998
it's our shared tendency
to go a little cuckoo.
481
00:20:38,986 --> 00:20:41,401
There you are! You're missing the end!
482
00:20:42,871 --> 00:20:46,406
So it seems the old
adage has been proven wrong...
483
00:20:46,408 --> 00:20:49,543
A long-neck and a
chimp-face can be friends,
484
00:20:49,545 --> 00:20:51,745
and if there's hope for them,
485
00:20:51,747 --> 00:20:54,014
who's to say there's
not hope for all of us?
486
00:20:54,016 --> 00:20:56,616
Now, keep your eye out
for my next documentary,
487
00:20:56,618 --> 00:20:58,218
where I dispel the old adage
488
00:20:58,220 --> 00:21:01,688
that a horse-face and
a short-neck can't 69.
489
00:21:03,158 --> 00:21:05,092
Bye-bye! See you soon!
490
00:21:05,093 --> 00:21:07,093
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
34494
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.