All language subtitles for American Dad 16x05 - Tapped Out (English)

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,732 --> 00:00:04,532 What about this one, Steve? 2 00:00:04,534 --> 00:00:05,733 It's got a train on it. 3 00:00:05,735 --> 00:00:07,068 Oh, sick! 4 00:00:07,070 --> 00:00:08,270 That's the engine! 5 00:00:08,272 --> 00:00:09,671 That's the cool part. 6 00:00:09,673 --> 00:00:11,806 There's a caboose on your butt flap! 7 00:00:11,808 --> 00:00:13,675 For your choo-choo poo-poos! 8 00:00:13,677 --> 00:00:15,143 Mom, this is baby stuff. 9 00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:16,744 I'm going to go see what the guy's section has 10 00:00:16,746 --> 00:00:18,212 in the way of butt flaps. 11 00:00:18,214 --> 00:00:20,414 Great, that sounds fun. Come on, Klaus. 12 00:00:20,416 --> 00:00:23,217 Actually, I was thinking, it's a new year. 13 00:00:23,219 --> 00:00:25,219 Maybe it's time for a new me. 14 00:00:25,221 --> 00:00:28,490 A me who picks out his own clothes. 15 00:00:29,499 --> 00:00:30,825 Wow. 16 00:00:30,827 --> 00:00:33,561 You must be freaking out. 17 00:00:33,563 --> 00:00:37,231 Why? Sure, Steve's growing up, but he's my son. 18 00:00:37,233 --> 00:00:39,201 We'll always have a special connection. 19 00:00:39,209 --> 00:00:40,968 Bullshit! 20 00:00:40,970 --> 00:00:42,103 You're freaking! 21 00:00:42,105 --> 00:00:43,972 Mama's little boy is becoming a guy, 22 00:00:43,974 --> 00:00:46,040 and you can't handle it. 23 00:00:46,042 --> 00:00:48,642 It's just the natural order of things, Klaus. 24 00:00:48,644 --> 00:00:50,244 Boys become guys. 25 00:00:50,246 --> 00:00:54,182 Guys become big guys, and big guys can get it. 26 00:00:55,852 --> 00:00:58,252 You're being really cool right now. 27 00:00:58,254 --> 00:00:59,921 The secret to shopping at outlets 28 00:00:59,923 --> 00:01:02,857 is that only the newbies pick off the outer crust. 29 00:01:02,859 --> 00:01:04,592 You've got to dig for the gems. 30 00:01:04,594 --> 00:01:06,528 Put in some elbow grease. 31 00:01:06,530 --> 00:01:07,729 Polo sport? 32 00:01:07,731 --> 00:01:08,997 Uh, yes please. 33 00:01:08,999 --> 00:01:12,601 So big. So yellow. It's a keeper! 34 00:01:14,604 --> 00:01:16,004 - Mm? - Yes! 35 00:01:16,006 --> 00:01:17,872 - Mm? - Must have! 36 00:01:17,874 --> 00:01:19,473 - Mm? - Great piece! 37 00:01:19,475 --> 00:01:20,808 - Mm? - So you! 38 00:01:20,810 --> 00:01:22,944 My God, these deals are amazing. 39 00:01:22,946 --> 00:01:25,679 Tell me about it. I just got this phone for free! 40 00:01:25,681 --> 00:01:26,881 Nuh-uh. Where? 41 00:01:26,883 --> 00:01:28,816 That man's pocket. 42 00:01:28,818 --> 00:01:30,618 I found my new look. 43 00:01:30,620 --> 00:01:32,954 I hope you like it as much as I do! 44 00:01:39,696 --> 00:01:40,895 Oh, man. 45 00:01:40,897 --> 00:01:43,965 And I thought I liked the train! 46 00:01:43,967 --> 00:01:45,033 Mom? 47 00:01:45,035 --> 00:01:48,703 Uh... I love it? 48 00:01:48,705 --> 00:01:50,438 You... look like 49 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:53,742 you probably have a kid from a previous marriage! 50 00:01:57,647 --> 00:02:00,314 ? Good morning, U.S.A. ? 51 00:02:00,316 --> 00:02:04,052 ? I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day ? 52 00:02:04,054 --> 00:02:07,055 ? The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ? 53 00:02:07,057 --> 00:02:11,293 ? And he's shinin' a salute to the American race ? 54 00:02:13,597 --> 00:02:16,598 ? Oh, boy, it's swell to say ? 55 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:19,133 - ? Good... ? - ? Good morning, U.S.A. ? 56 00:02:19,135 --> 00:02:20,936 Aah! 57 00:02:21,805 --> 00:02:24,806 ? Good morning, U.S.A. ? 58 00:02:24,808 --> 00:02:27,208 _ 59 00:02:27,210 --> 00:02:29,277 Are you sure about this, Steve? 60 00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:31,746 As a group, we've always adhered 61 00:02:31,748 --> 00:02:33,481 to a low-profile philosophy. 62 00:02:33,483 --> 00:02:35,417 That's why we never make an impression! 63 00:02:35,419 --> 00:02:38,486 Every semester, people think we're transfer students. 64 00:02:38,488 --> 00:02:40,955 I'm looking to turn eyeballs, fellas. 65 00:02:40,957 --> 00:02:43,225 I'm talking 180 degrees... 66 00:02:43,227 --> 00:02:46,294 Fahrenheit because I'm red-hot! 67 00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:47,762 You guys coming? 68 00:02:47,764 --> 00:02:50,131 This is your time to shine. 69 00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:58,406 Smith! 70 00:02:58,415 --> 00:03:00,041 What are you wearing? 71 00:03:00,043 --> 00:03:02,777 Because it looks so incredible on you! 72 00:03:02,779 --> 00:03:05,741 Three cheers for his wonderful clothes! 73 00:03:06,116 --> 00:03:08,983 Steve, I thought you were a total slonch, 74 00:03:08,985 --> 00:03:10,718 but you're hella drich. 75 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:11,986 Okay, girls, clear out. 76 00:03:11,988 --> 00:03:13,387 You don't have to go to class, 77 00:03:13,389 --> 00:03:15,189 but you can't block my bulletin board. 78 00:03:15,758 --> 00:03:17,259 What's that for, Principal Lewis? 79 00:03:17,261 --> 00:03:19,127 Audition sheet for the school play. 80 00:03:19,129 --> 00:03:21,129 It doesn't really concern low-profile kids like... 81 00:03:21,131 --> 00:03:23,665 You are the star of my play! 82 00:03:23,667 --> 00:03:25,133 Tapout? You're the one! 83 00:03:25,135 --> 00:03:27,068 You're my Oedipus Rex! 84 00:03:27,070 --> 00:03:29,804 Auditions are canceled! 85 00:03:29,806 --> 00:03:32,140 Geez. What a reception. 86 00:03:32,142 --> 00:03:34,943 Smith, you're going to be the man this year. 87 00:03:34,945 --> 00:03:37,479 Don't make friends with the transfer students. 88 00:03:40,750 --> 00:03:41,749 Check. 89 00:03:41,751 --> 00:03:43,485 Check. 90 00:03:43,487 --> 00:03:44,752 Check. 91 00:03:44,754 --> 00:03:45,954 All secure. 92 00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:48,756 Klaus! 93 00:03:48,758 --> 00:03:50,492 Stop sneaking around! 94 00:03:50,494 --> 00:03:52,894 But I'm the silent hero of this house. 95 00:03:52,896 --> 00:03:54,696 No one asked you to do this. 96 00:03:54,698 --> 00:03:56,898 Sometimes, a hero has to do the things 97 00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:59,701 nobody asked him to do. 98 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,108 Oh, a light. 99 00:04:07,110 --> 00:04:08,376 Wow, it's gone. 100 00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:10,912 I'm seeing things. Must be tired. 101 00:04:11,663 --> 00:04:12,780 It's back! 102 00:04:12,782 --> 00:04:14,382 I should call for backup. 103 00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:15,783 But they won't come. 104 00:04:15,785 --> 00:04:17,651 They don't exist. 105 00:04:17,653 --> 00:04:19,120 I'll have to go alone. 106 00:04:22,993 --> 00:04:26,060 Oh, Francine, you milky marvel. 107 00:04:26,062 --> 00:04:28,663 You're a one-woman dairy farm. 108 00:04:29,399 --> 00:04:33,201 Francine, what are you doing?! 109 00:04:33,203 --> 00:04:35,203 - Sewing. - No, you're not! 110 00:04:35,205 --> 00:04:37,339 You have things on your boobs! 111 00:04:37,341 --> 00:04:38,540 A sewing machine. 112 00:04:38,542 --> 00:04:40,875 No. 113 00:04:40,877 --> 00:04:42,944 Okay, it's a breast pump. 114 00:04:42,946 --> 00:04:45,213 I pump a little breast milk now and then 115 00:04:45,215 --> 00:04:47,015 and sneak it into Steve's food. 116 00:04:47,017 --> 00:04:48,616 A little?! 117 00:04:48,618 --> 00:04:51,285 You've got the pump turned all the way up to "thirsty boy"! 118 00:04:51,287 --> 00:04:53,487 Steve needs it for his health, 119 00:04:53,489 --> 00:04:55,957 and it's not like I'm doing it in the park. 120 00:04:55,959 --> 00:04:58,292 No, you're doing it in a secret bunker. 121 00:04:58,294 --> 00:05:02,163 A shame dungeon because you know it's wrong! 122 00:05:02,165 --> 00:05:04,566 It's completely natural. 123 00:05:04,568 --> 00:05:07,969 It's just that society doesn't understand. 124 00:05:07,971 --> 00:05:09,170 Anyway, now that you know 125 00:05:09,172 --> 00:05:11,973 my shameful, very natural secret, 126 00:05:11,975 --> 00:05:14,042 will you please not tell Steve? 127 00:05:14,044 --> 00:05:16,244 He has a lot on his plate right now. 128 00:05:16,246 --> 00:05:18,913 - A lot of breast milk. - No, really, Klaus. 129 00:05:18,915 --> 00:05:20,248 I need you to promise. 130 00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:22,717 He does have a lot on his plate right now, 131 00:05:22,719 --> 00:05:26,854 with his whole style change and the school play. 132 00:05:26,856 --> 00:05:28,122 Okay. 133 00:05:28,124 --> 00:05:30,458 Your secret is safe with me. 134 00:05:30,460 --> 00:05:33,861 See?! You have been drinking it, bro! 135 00:05:33,863 --> 00:05:36,064 So gross! 136 00:05:36,066 --> 00:05:37,531 Mom, why?! 137 00:05:37,533 --> 00:05:39,867 With everything on my plate right now! 138 00:05:39,869 --> 00:05:41,236 Aah! 139 00:05:51,821 --> 00:05:54,088 Is this turtleneck too high up? 140 00:05:54,090 --> 00:05:55,557 Is it... Is it too much material? 141 00:05:55,559 --> 00:05:57,091 Maybe your neck is not long enough. 142 00:05:57,093 --> 00:05:58,760 Maybe you just can't rock a turtleneck. 143 00:05:58,762 --> 00:06:00,428 Take that back! 144 00:06:00,430 --> 00:06:01,896 I won't. It's true. 145 00:06:01,898 --> 00:06:04,432 I have yet to meet the garment that I cannot rock! 146 00:06:04,434 --> 00:06:07,501 Now that I think about it, your short neck's kind of gross. 147 00:06:07,503 --> 00:06:09,037 You look nothing like a swan. 148 00:06:09,039 --> 00:06:11,172 Look at me... total swan. 149 00:06:11,174 --> 00:06:14,308 Duck lips, swan neck, peacock attitude... 150 00:06:14,310 --> 00:06:15,843 the full bird, Stan. 151 00:06:15,845 --> 00:06:18,312 - Oh, this phone takes video? - All phones take video. 152 00:06:18,314 --> 00:06:20,382 Whatever, Stump-neck. So does mine. 153 00:06:20,384 --> 00:06:21,916 Check it out! 154 00:06:21,918 --> 00:06:23,918 I'm a director now! 155 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:26,788 Hazel Bazels, a documentary director. 156 00:06:26,790 --> 00:06:27,989 Meet the crew. 157 00:06:27,991 --> 00:06:29,591 Been on every one of my films. 158 00:06:29,593 --> 00:06:31,259 When you've been to the places we've been together, 159 00:06:31,261 --> 00:06:33,261 talk about a band of brothers! 160 00:06:33,263 --> 00:06:35,397 I take it you don't need the phone anymore? 161 00:06:35,399 --> 00:06:36,798 Hey, where'd everybody go? 162 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:39,000 Those scumbags tried to unionize. 163 00:06:39,002 --> 00:06:41,669 Turns out Allen was the little ringleader. 164 00:06:41,671 --> 00:06:43,271 I've got nothing against unions. 165 00:06:43,273 --> 00:06:46,274 My daddy was a union man... Pipe Fitters Local 97. 166 00:06:46,276 --> 00:06:49,611 But unions just don't make sense for certain industries. 167 00:06:49,613 --> 00:06:51,079 For instance, pipe fitting. 168 00:06:51,081 --> 00:06:52,880 I mean, what the hell kind of job is that, anyway? 169 00:06:52,882 --> 00:06:55,083 Just go to Home Depot and match them up! 170 00:06:55,085 --> 00:06:58,086 Does this one fit? No. Does this one fit? Yes! Done! 171 00:06:58,088 --> 00:07:00,021 Anyway, I'm a director now! 172 00:07:02,416 --> 00:07:03,691 Good morning, Steve. 173 00:07:03,693 --> 00:07:05,093 How's my little guy? 174 00:07:05,095 --> 00:07:06,828 Not still mad at his mommy 175 00:07:06,830 --> 00:07:09,163 for the whole breast-milk situmation! 176 00:07:09,165 --> 00:07:11,565 Your first day of rehearsal today. 177 00:07:11,567 --> 00:07:12,967 I want you to be ready. 178 00:07:12,969 --> 00:07:14,836 I made pancakes. 179 00:07:14,838 --> 00:07:17,772 I will never accept food or drink from you again! 180 00:07:17,774 --> 00:07:20,308 Is this about the breast-milk situmation? 181 00:07:20,310 --> 00:07:22,844 Yes! How could you do this to me? 182 00:07:22,846 --> 00:07:27,181 I didn't do it to you. I did it for you! 183 00:07:27,183 --> 00:07:29,517 I was going to stop when everyone else did, 184 00:07:29,519 --> 00:07:31,119 but I forgot to Google it! 185 00:07:31,121 --> 00:07:34,922 Well, maybe you could have Googled it before I turned 14! 186 00:07:34,924 --> 00:07:37,125 It was never a good time. 187 00:07:37,127 --> 00:07:39,193 First, your eyes went bad. 188 00:07:39,195 --> 00:07:42,396 Next, we found out you were allergic to bees! 189 00:07:42,398 --> 00:07:46,000 Third grade took you almost a year to complete! 190 00:07:46,002 --> 00:07:48,202 I mean, who knows what would happen 191 00:07:48,204 --> 00:07:50,204 if I took my breast milk away. 192 00:07:50,206 --> 00:07:53,141 Thank God for this prepackaged, not legally orange juice! 193 00:07:53,143 --> 00:07:56,344 Honey, at least let me cook you some eggs! 194 00:07:56,346 --> 00:07:59,948 How do I know you didn't lay them yourself, Mother? 195 00:08:04,256 --> 00:08:06,154 Hey, I'm Steve, your costar. 196 00:08:06,156 --> 00:08:07,355 I'll be playing Oedipus. 197 00:08:07,357 --> 00:08:08,823 Welcome to high-school theater. 198 00:08:08,825 --> 00:08:10,024 Here's what you need to know... 199 00:08:10,026 --> 00:08:11,292 We leave it all on the stage, 200 00:08:11,294 --> 00:08:12,694 and after every show, we go to Denny's 201 00:08:12,696 --> 00:08:14,228 and pour a bunch of sugar on the table. 202 00:08:14,230 --> 00:08:16,631 Cool. I look forward to working with you. 203 00:08:17,901 --> 00:08:19,501 Wake up, Smith! 204 00:08:19,503 --> 00:08:21,903 Welcome to the first rehearsal for my musical re-imagining 205 00:08:21,905 --> 00:08:24,639 of the Greek tragedy "Oedipus Rex." 206 00:08:24,641 --> 00:08:26,774 Right now it's called "Oedipus Rox" 207 00:08:26,776 --> 00:08:28,910 because the school board wouldn't let me call it 208 00:08:28,912 --> 00:08:30,444 "Mother[BLEEP]!" 209 00:08:31,554 --> 00:08:33,247 So when choosing this year's play, 210 00:08:33,249 --> 00:08:36,384 I asked myself, "What would I like to see?" 211 00:08:36,386 --> 00:08:38,252 The obvious answer is a kid 212 00:08:38,254 --> 00:08:40,855 kissing another kid who's playing his mom, 213 00:08:40,857 --> 00:08:44,859 so it's kind of like three layers of nasty. 214 00:08:44,861 --> 00:08:47,662 - Smith, are you asleep?! - Sorry. 215 00:08:47,664 --> 00:08:49,664 I-I don't know what's wrong. 216 00:08:49,666 --> 00:08:52,021 I-I'm just exhausted. 217 00:08:52,056 --> 00:08:53,801 I only had orange juice for breakfast. 218 00:08:53,803 --> 00:08:56,270 I'm kind of trying a new diet. 219 00:08:56,272 --> 00:08:58,873 Interesting. I'm on a new diet myself... 220 00:08:58,875 --> 00:09:01,075 I drink nothing but Icees until 11:00 p.m., 221 00:09:01,077 --> 00:09:03,545 and then I have a gallon and a half of jambalaya. 222 00:09:03,547 --> 00:09:04,946 I've never felt better! 223 00:09:04,948 --> 00:09:08,282 Also, I need this play to be an absolute success, 224 00:09:08,284 --> 00:09:11,019 so if it isn't, you're dead. 225 00:09:11,661 --> 00:09:14,622 I need breast milk! 226 00:09:14,624 --> 00:09:16,358 Ring-a-ding-ding. 227 00:09:18,828 --> 00:09:20,828 Dispatch, I'm on the scene now. 228 00:09:20,830 --> 00:09:22,830 Whoa! 229 00:09:30,467 --> 00:09:33,135 Stopping the milk cold turkey was a bad idea. 230 00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:35,938 I just need a little bit, just to get my head right. 231 00:09:35,940 --> 00:09:36,872 Of course. 232 00:09:36,873 --> 00:09:39,274 You have too much at stake right now with the play. 233 00:09:39,358 --> 00:09:40,609 I still want to stop, 234 00:09:40,611 --> 00:09:42,545 but instead of quitting all at once, 235 00:09:42,547 --> 00:09:45,214 I think we should wean me off gradually. 236 00:09:45,216 --> 00:09:46,549 That's so smart. 237 00:09:46,551 --> 00:09:48,951 You're not a quitter. You're a weaner. 238 00:09:48,953 --> 00:09:50,219 That's right! 239 00:09:50,221 --> 00:09:53,088 I am a lean, mean, weaning machine! 240 00:09:53,090 --> 00:09:54,289 Wean me, mama! 241 00:09:56,226 --> 00:10:00,629 Oh, it's so nice to go back to normal with you. 242 00:10:00,681 --> 00:10:02,948 What's my documentary about? 243 00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:04,149 Myself? 244 00:10:04,151 --> 00:10:06,018 Am I the most interesting thing? 245 00:10:06,020 --> 00:10:08,821 Roger, Linda Memari's pet chimpanzee 246 00:10:08,823 --> 00:10:10,889 ripped Jeff's face off. 247 00:10:10,891 --> 00:10:12,691 The doctors were able to do a transplant, 248 00:10:12,693 --> 00:10:15,227 but there was only one face available. 249 00:10:15,229 --> 00:10:16,895 Please be gentle. 250 00:10:16,897 --> 00:10:19,097 Come on in, honey. 251 00:10:19,099 --> 00:10:21,033 Is it noticeable, babe? 252 00:10:21,035 --> 00:10:22,435 For the love of God, 253 00:10:22,437 --> 00:10:26,105 could one film-worthy thing happen around here? 254 00:10:30,778 --> 00:10:34,680 All right, Smith. You better bring the goods... or else. 255 00:10:38,653 --> 00:10:42,787 ? Oedipus' mom has got it going on ? 256 00:10:42,789 --> 00:10:44,990 ? She's all I want and... ? 257 00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:46,926 Wait, did I say, "Mom"? I meant... 258 00:10:47,008 --> 00:10:50,996 ? Oedipus' wife, she's the love of my life ? 259 00:10:50,998 --> 00:10:52,397 ? There is nothing wrong ? 260 00:10:52,399 --> 00:10:56,401 ? My wife is probably not my mom ? 261 00:10:57,330 --> 00:10:59,338 Yeah! Nailed it, Smith! 262 00:10:59,340 --> 00:11:01,474 When I wrote those words, I wasn't sure about it, 263 00:11:01,476 --> 00:11:04,677 but the tune you made up really brought it home. 264 00:11:07,081 --> 00:11:08,347 Mm-hmm. 265 00:11:08,349 --> 00:11:11,216 Roger is not the only swan around here. 266 00:11:11,218 --> 00:11:13,686 Turtleneck, get ready to be rocked. 267 00:11:14,061 --> 00:11:16,555 Excuse me, Stan. Cody and I are location scouting. 268 00:11:16,557 --> 00:11:19,291 I think maybe the right place could spark an idea. 269 00:11:19,293 --> 00:11:21,426 What if I made a documentary 270 00:11:21,428 --> 00:11:24,163 about living in a bathroom for a month? 271 00:11:24,165 --> 00:11:26,298 Call it "Bathroom Man." 272 00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:27,700 Okay. There's something there. 273 00:11:27,702 --> 00:11:29,434 Yeah! Yeah! 274 00:11:29,436 --> 00:11:30,703 I mean... I mean, maybe. I... 275 00:11:30,705 --> 00:11:33,105 Cody is quiet, so I know he hates it. 276 00:11:33,107 --> 00:11:34,573 Well, let's go buy some balloons. 277 00:11:34,575 --> 00:11:37,510 Those things really cheer me up. 278 00:11:37,512 --> 00:11:40,179 Sounds like things went really well today. 279 00:11:40,181 --> 00:11:43,315 I'll say, which got me thinking. 280 00:11:43,317 --> 00:11:46,719 Since the milk does seem to have a positive effect... 281 00:11:46,721 --> 00:11:49,654 It does seem to be having a positive effect. 282 00:11:49,656 --> 00:11:53,192 Right, right? So maybe while the play is going on, 283 00:11:53,194 --> 00:11:55,060 weaning gets put on hold. 284 00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:59,398 On hold, yes, because of the play! 285 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:03,736 The play is the thing, a-and then we'll reassess. 286 00:12:03,738 --> 00:12:05,003 Right! Right! 287 00:12:05,005 --> 00:12:07,606 Do we wean? Do we increase the milk? 288 00:12:07,608 --> 00:12:11,076 Do we reassess whether we even need to reassess? 289 00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:13,345 Ooh, that is smart, 290 00:12:13,347 --> 00:12:17,282 and certainly nothing gets decided before the play is done. 291 00:12:17,342 --> 00:12:18,551 Heaven forbid. 292 00:12:18,553 --> 00:12:20,219 I must fly now, Mother. 293 00:12:20,221 --> 00:12:22,087 Toodeloo! 294 00:12:24,425 --> 00:12:27,760 Looks like trust has been restored between you and Steve. 295 00:12:27,762 --> 00:12:28,761 - Yeah. - Well, 296 00:12:28,763 --> 00:12:31,797 I've got something that might set it back a bit. 297 00:12:36,010 --> 00:12:37,313 _ 298 00:12:41,308 --> 00:12:45,043 You dosed his D so he'd run back to your milk, 299 00:12:45,045 --> 00:12:46,979 and I've got the proof! 300 00:12:49,383 --> 00:12:52,251 Ha! You think that was my only copy? 301 00:12:52,253 --> 00:12:54,186 - Yes. - You're right. 302 00:12:54,188 --> 00:12:56,388 ? So won't you please ? 303 00:12:56,390 --> 00:12:58,523 ? Be my, be my baby ? 304 00:12:58,525 --> 00:13:00,459 ? Be my little baby ? 305 00:13:00,461 --> 00:13:02,261 ? My one and only baby ? 306 00:13:02,263 --> 00:13:04,129 ? Say you'll be my darling ? 307 00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:06,131 ? Be my, be my baby ? 308 00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:08,133 ? Be my baby now ? 309 00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:11,604 - ? My one and only baby ? - ? Whoa, oh, oh, oh ? 310 00:13:11,606 --> 00:13:15,274 ? I'll make you happy, baby ? 311 00:13:15,276 --> 00:13:18,411 ? Just wait and see ? 312 00:13:18,413 --> 00:13:22,615 ? For every kiss you give me ? 313 00:13:22,617 --> 00:13:24,349 ? I'll give you three ? 314 00:13:24,351 --> 00:13:27,820 ? Whoa, oh, oh, oh ? 315 00:13:27,822 --> 00:13:29,822 ? Be my, be my baby ? 316 00:13:34,962 --> 00:13:36,361 Hot house tonight! 317 00:13:36,363 --> 00:13:38,363 I think I see some scouts out there. 318 00:13:38,365 --> 00:13:39,498 Three guys in the middle look like 319 00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:41,434 they're definitely from New York. 320 00:13:47,308 --> 00:13:49,574 Psst. Hey, lady! 321 00:13:49,576 --> 00:13:51,644 Hey, Francine, I think that boy 322 00:13:51,646 --> 00:13:53,446 is trying to get your attention. 323 00:13:53,448 --> 00:13:55,848 I'll go see what he wants. 324 00:13:55,850 --> 00:13:57,382 I-I-I can't do this! 325 00:13:57,384 --> 00:13:58,651 Why did I ever think I could do this? 326 00:13:58,653 --> 00:14:00,853 - I need some milk! - I gave you milk. 327 00:14:00,855 --> 00:14:02,321 It's all gone! 328 00:14:02,323 --> 00:14:04,457 My... My... My stomach is in knots! 329 00:14:04,459 --> 00:14:06,525 That's just nerves. 330 00:14:06,527 --> 00:14:09,795 Or maybe I need to burp you. 331 00:14:09,797 --> 00:14:11,130 I'm not a baby! 332 00:14:11,132 --> 00:14:12,397 I don't need burps! 333 00:14:12,399 --> 00:14:14,599 - I need breast milk! - I didn't bring any! 334 00:14:14,601 --> 00:14:16,535 Quit holding out on me. 335 00:14:16,537 --> 00:14:19,271 You always have it on you. 336 00:14:22,343 --> 00:14:24,810 The anticipation is peaking. 337 00:14:24,812 --> 00:14:26,011 Start the play. 338 00:14:26,013 --> 00:14:27,680 But, maestro, it's five minutes until curtain! 339 00:14:27,682 --> 00:14:29,281 I said start the play! 340 00:14:29,283 --> 00:14:30,816 Curtain! Curtain! Curtain! 341 00:14:30,818 --> 00:14:32,217 Mmm. 342 00:14:35,356 --> 00:14:38,491 Mmm. Mmm. 343 00:14:39,330 --> 00:14:40,959 Mmm. 344 00:14:41,833 --> 00:14:44,429 - Huh? - There's my movie! 345 00:14:44,431 --> 00:14:45,698 Yeah! 346 00:14:45,700 --> 00:14:47,566 I just hope that student with her boob out 347 00:14:47,568 --> 00:14:50,403 is at least a junior or a senior. 348 00:14:50,881 --> 00:14:53,944 So you're going to live down in the basement. Why? 349 00:14:54,142 --> 00:14:56,056 Well, the town turned on us 350 00:14:56,058 --> 00:14:59,393 because of their puritanical views of breastfeeding. 351 00:14:59,395 --> 00:15:01,595 Yeah. My tried to drop me off at school, 352 00:15:01,597 --> 00:15:03,397 and everyone threw rocks at us. 353 00:15:03,399 --> 00:15:05,832 And at the grocery store. More rocks. 354 00:15:05,908 --> 00:15:07,533 It just seems like everybody is 355 00:15:07,535 --> 00:15:09,535 throwing rocks at us these days. 356 00:15:09,537 --> 00:15:11,938 - Don't look right at the camera! - Roger! 357 00:15:11,940 --> 00:15:13,940 If you want this film to change people's minds about you, 358 00:15:13,942 --> 00:15:15,275 we've got to make it right. 359 00:15:15,277 --> 00:15:16,476 It's got to look slick! 360 00:15:16,478 --> 00:15:17,877 I don't care how it looks 361 00:15:17,879 --> 00:15:20,546 as long as it shows everyone the truth... 362 00:15:20,548 --> 00:15:24,618 that long-term breastfeeding is perfectly natural. 363 00:15:24,620 --> 00:15:26,620 Then we won't be pariahs, 364 00:15:26,622 --> 00:15:28,554 and maybe we'll even be allowed 365 00:15:28,556 --> 00:15:30,090 back up in the main house. 366 00:15:31,427 --> 00:15:35,361 That's the last one, Mr. S. 367 00:15:35,363 --> 00:15:37,363 Oh, that's nice. 368 00:15:37,365 --> 00:15:39,099 Oh, that's better. 369 00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:43,970 What was I saying? 370 00:15:43,972 --> 00:15:46,172 Oh, yeah... No freaks in the main house! 371 00:15:46,174 --> 00:15:47,641 Those freaks make me sick! 372 00:15:47,643 --> 00:15:49,575 Do you hear me down there, you weirdos? 373 00:15:49,577 --> 00:15:50,989 Freaks! Freaks! 374 00:15:55,135 --> 00:15:56,650 I guess Dad hasn't changed his mind 375 00:15:56,652 --> 00:15:58,652 about banishing us to the basement. 376 00:15:58,654 --> 00:16:01,187 I really hope this documentary works, Mom. 377 00:16:01,189 --> 00:16:02,456 Don't worry, Steve. 378 00:16:02,458 --> 00:16:05,258 If there's one thing your dad responds to, 379 00:16:05,260 --> 00:16:07,393 it's documentary films. 380 00:16:07,395 --> 00:16:09,195 _ 381 00:16:09,197 --> 00:16:12,499 Little Stevie, time for bed! 382 00:16:12,570 --> 00:16:14,568 Nuh-uh! 383 00:16:16,247 --> 00:16:18,472 Cooperate, young man! 384 00:16:21,943 --> 00:16:23,943 Do we know when Roger's movie is coming out? 385 00:16:23,945 --> 00:16:25,545 Do we have a timeline on that? 386 00:16:25,547 --> 00:16:28,682 If you go straight to night-nights with no fussing, 387 00:16:28,684 --> 00:16:31,952 I'll sneak up past your dad and check in with Roger. 388 00:16:31,954 --> 00:16:35,221 Okay, but can you please turn on the white-noise machine 389 00:16:35,223 --> 00:16:36,490 before you leave? 390 00:16:36,492 --> 00:16:38,158 It helps me go to sleep. 391 00:16:49,838 --> 00:16:52,706 Roger, when's your documentary going to be done? 392 00:16:52,708 --> 00:16:54,574 Ah, I see what's happening here... 393 00:16:54,576 --> 00:16:57,043 You don't know I switched projects about a month ago. 394 00:16:57,045 --> 00:16:59,513 You did? Why didn't you tell me? 395 00:16:59,515 --> 00:17:00,780 Have you been down to the basement lately? 396 00:17:00,782 --> 00:17:03,183 It's a real weird scene down there. 397 00:17:03,185 --> 00:17:05,319 Hey, does Stan know you're in the main house? 398 00:17:05,321 --> 00:17:06,653 Are you kidding me?! 399 00:17:06,655 --> 00:17:08,388 Gordon, will you run down to the bodega 400 00:17:08,390 --> 00:17:10,456 and grab me some kind of yummy chip? 401 00:17:10,458 --> 00:17:11,725 Actually, no, just bring me a pasta. 402 00:17:11,727 --> 00:17:14,862 Bring me a pasta from wherever you think is good. 403 00:17:16,798 --> 00:17:19,733 I trusted you to tell our story! 404 00:17:19,735 --> 00:17:21,801 It was just too strange, Francine, 405 00:17:21,803 --> 00:17:24,338 so I pivoted to Long-neck and Chimp-face. 406 00:17:24,340 --> 00:17:25,672 - They're more relatable. - What?! 407 00:17:25,674 --> 00:17:28,274 They have an amazing and unlikely friendship. 408 00:17:28,276 --> 00:17:30,544 Stan and Jeff?! 409 00:17:30,546 --> 00:17:32,078 Oh, yeah. I hadn't thought of it that way. 410 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:35,481 You have to show people how normal we are! 411 00:17:35,483 --> 00:17:38,518 How about I show you how normal you are. 412 00:17:41,423 --> 00:17:42,622 Do you like my outfit? 413 00:17:42,624 --> 00:17:44,224 It's Tapout from head to toe, 414 00:17:44,226 --> 00:17:47,661 except for the middle part, which is pure Stevie skin. 415 00:17:48,564 --> 00:17:51,732 Stevie! Lunchtime! 416 00:17:55,037 --> 00:17:58,438 ? Old McDonald had a farm ? 417 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:00,574 ? Ee-i-ee-i... ? Ow! 418 00:18:00,576 --> 00:18:02,576 All of his teeth are in. 419 00:18:02,578 --> 00:18:05,311 ? And on that farm, he had a... ? 420 00:18:05,313 --> 00:18:06,580 ? Mom ? 421 00:18:06,582 --> 00:18:08,782 ? Ee-i-ee-i-o ? 422 00:18:08,784 --> 00:18:12,318 ? With a milk-milk here and a milk-milk there ? 423 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:16,056 ? Here a milk, there a milk, everywhere a milk-milk ? 424 00:18:16,058 --> 00:18:17,523 Oh, my God. 425 00:18:17,525 --> 00:18:18,792 We are freaks. 426 00:18:18,794 --> 00:18:20,927 Maybe the rocks were right. 427 00:18:20,929 --> 00:18:23,463 But, Mom, I-I need the milk! 428 00:18:23,465 --> 00:18:24,998 I-I'm uncoordinated! 429 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,400 I'm allergic to bees! 430 00:18:26,402 --> 00:18:28,534 I've got these tiny, little eyes, 431 00:18:28,536 --> 00:18:30,336 and when I went off the milk, 432 00:18:30,338 --> 00:18:32,205 I fell asleep in school! 433 00:18:32,207 --> 00:18:34,140 Yes, about that... 434 00:18:34,142 --> 00:18:38,344 That morning, I put sizzurp in your SunnyD. 435 00:18:38,346 --> 00:18:40,080 That's why I was so tired? 436 00:18:40,082 --> 00:18:41,347 I guess. 437 00:18:41,349 --> 00:18:44,284 And now we can go back to our normal lives, 438 00:18:44,286 --> 00:18:48,222 knowing that neither of us was to blame for anything. 439 00:18:48,224 --> 00:18:49,555 Okay. 440 00:18:49,557 --> 00:18:51,425 Mother knows best. 441 00:18:56,708 --> 00:18:59,833 - Oh, no. - I like milk! 442 00:18:59,835 --> 00:19:03,470 It's my thing, and I'll never, ever stop drinking it! 443 00:19:06,068 --> 00:19:07,007 I told you guys, 444 00:19:07,098 --> 00:19:09,709 keep your freak show out of the main house! 445 00:19:09,711 --> 00:19:12,312 Mama, I'm hungry! 446 00:19:12,314 --> 00:19:14,448 Well, I ruined Steve. 447 00:19:14,450 --> 00:19:16,182 Francine, no. 448 00:19:16,184 --> 00:19:18,652 What Steve needs is an experience so negative 449 00:19:18,654 --> 00:19:20,854 that he'll never want to suckle again. 450 00:19:20,856 --> 00:19:23,590 - What do you mean? - Taint the milk. 451 00:19:24,110 --> 00:19:25,592 He's allergic to bees! 452 00:19:25,594 --> 00:19:27,794 You're going to put bees in the milk? 453 00:19:27,796 --> 00:19:29,663 Don't be an idiot, Klaus. 454 00:19:29,665 --> 00:19:32,466 Why work hard when you can work easy? 455 00:19:35,403 --> 00:19:37,203 Mmm. Mmm. 456 00:19:37,205 --> 00:19:41,475 The answer was so obvious. Mmm. 457 00:19:41,477 --> 00:19:43,810 It's what any mother would do! 458 00:19:43,812 --> 00:19:46,146 Yeah, girl! Solve your problems! 459 00:19:46,148 --> 00:19:48,482 Eat those bees! 460 00:19:53,555 --> 00:19:54,888 Milk. 461 00:19:54,890 --> 00:19:56,089 I need milk. 462 00:19:56,091 --> 00:19:57,557 You're awake! 463 00:19:57,559 --> 00:19:58,892 Doctor, he's awake! 464 00:19:58,894 --> 00:20:00,894 I'll be the judge of that. 465 00:20:00,896 --> 00:20:03,497 - Ow! - I judge that he is awake. 466 00:20:03,499 --> 00:20:05,832 I need milk. I'll die without it. 467 00:20:05,834 --> 00:20:07,301 No, you won't, son. 468 00:20:07,303 --> 00:20:08,135 You've been in a coma, 469 00:20:08,234 --> 00:20:10,904 and you haven't had a drop of milk in almost a year. 470 00:20:10,906 --> 00:20:12,906 A lot has happened in that time... 471 00:20:12,908 --> 00:20:15,775 I got remarried, lost my ring again, 472 00:20:15,777 --> 00:20:17,577 I rode a bike across Idaho, 473 00:20:17,579 --> 00:20:18,978 and I reconnected 474 00:20:18,980 --> 00:20:20,714 with my high-school social-studies teacher, 475 00:20:20,716 --> 00:20:22,716 but enough about me. 476 00:20:22,718 --> 00:20:24,784 Mom, what happened? 477 00:20:24,786 --> 00:20:28,588 Let's not worry about who ate bees to poison who. 478 00:20:28,590 --> 00:20:31,057 The important thing is now I realize 479 00:20:31,059 --> 00:20:33,593 it's not the milk that connects us, 480 00:20:33,595 --> 00:20:37,998 it's our shared tendency to go a little cuckoo. 481 00:20:38,986 --> 00:20:41,401 There you are! You're missing the end! 482 00:20:42,871 --> 00:20:46,406 So it seems the old adage has been proven wrong... 483 00:20:46,408 --> 00:20:49,543 A long-neck and a chimp-face can be friends, 484 00:20:49,545 --> 00:20:51,745 and if there's hope for them, 485 00:20:51,747 --> 00:20:54,014 who's to say there's not hope for all of us? 486 00:20:54,016 --> 00:20:56,616 Now, keep your eye out for my next documentary, 487 00:20:56,618 --> 00:20:58,218 where I dispel the old adage 488 00:20:58,220 --> 00:21:01,688 that a horse-face and a short-neck can't 69. 489 00:21:03,158 --> 00:21:05,092 Bye-bye! See you soon! 490 00:21:05,093 --> 00:21:07,093 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com 34494

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.