Original subtitles

...ladies and gentlemen for the annual Academy Awards,

truly the big night for the people in Hollywood.

- Frankie, over here, please. - Hey, Johnny, how are you?

Fine, nice to see you and, ladies and gentlemen,

here's a fella who needs no introduction, Frankie Fane,

one of the five nominees

for this year's Best Actor award.

Well, Frankie, how does it feel to be up for your first Oscar?

Oh, like a ton of butterflies.

Well, it's no secret too that the surveys and polls

reveal you as the favorite.

What do you have to say about that?

I'm sure the Academy members have voted for the performance

they believe to be the best.

We'll just have to wait until the envelope is open

to see who that is.

Well, Frankie, good luck inside.

- Thank you, Johnny. - Thank you very much.

Ladies and gentlemen, much excitement here.

The big night for the people in Hollywood,

the annual Academy Awards presentation.

Thank you very much.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,

and welcome to the annual Academy Awards Show.

This is Hollywood's big night,

so, naturally, we're holding it in Santa Monica.

I'm emceeing the awards because they wanted someone

who could lose and keep smiling,

and I--and I've had the most practice.

This night means a lot to everyone

in the movie industry.

This is the night war and politics are forgotten

and we find out who we really hate.

You finally made it, Frankie.

Oscar night.

And here you sit on top of a glass mountain

called Success.

You're one of the chosen five,

and the whole town is holding its breath

to see who won it.

It's been quite a climb, hasn't it, Frankie?

Down at the bottom scuffling for dimes

in those smokers.

All the way to the top, magic Hollywood.

Ever think about it?

I do, friend Frankie.

I do.

What am I talking about, friends?

The good nights and the bad.

The cheap motels and the postponed meals.

It was a rough way to make a living,

but it was a living.

And it was all for one and one for all.

You, me...

...the best thing your watery eyes ever set up.

...and Laurel.

I'm talking about art, that's A-R-T!

You were quite a spieler, Frankie.

You had to keep those guys under control.

Gentlemen, gentlemen,

what you're about to see is a form of art,

art that comes to you from way back

in the dawn of time, from that first little bit

of art they called Eve.

The kind of round and warm art

that made that old snake serpent,

that the blind stagger started crawling around backwards.

I'm talking about Helen of Troy, man,

about Cleopatra.

I'm talking about woman, friends.

I'm talking about Miss Laurel,

the one and only hip-switching,

nice walking bunch of loveliness

you're gonna see right now.

Let's hear it for Miss Laurel!

Hey, we did all right out there.

- What's this? - I'm sorry, boys,

I had some heavy expenses.

You're gonna have some heavy trouble

unless you come up with the rest

of the scratch you owe us, mister.

There ain't gonna be no trouble.

You see, the sheriff happens to be my partner.

You got a little egg on your face.

Just don't stand around and let it drip into your shoes.

- Now beat it. - You fat honey-dripper.

Come up with the rest of our money

or I'll strip the lard off your ugly--

Pretty?

Pretty, pretty?

Pretty, pretty, pretty?

Blackmail.

Don't!

Frankie!

You know, it would've been nice if I had time to change.

All right now, we've left the Clinton city limits.

Would you mind telling me what the rush was all about?

- We had some trouble. - What kind of trouble?

I had to lay the landlord out.

He tried to stiff us for the money.

Uh-oh, here it comes.

- Your name Fane? - Yes, sir.

Uh-huh.

Resisting arrest.

Sheriff, you've got us tuned in all wrong.

Ledbetter tried to cut us out of our money.

What's T.C. got to do with all of this?

I thought you picked us up for--for knocking him around.

Are you kidding?

You're down in our books for prostitution

and procuring.

For what?

You know, you're a dirty fella.

You're downright unclean.

Prostitution.

What have we got to do with prostitution?

Hymie Kelly.

Where'd you get the name Kelly, Hymie?

From my father, Michael Kelly,

and he got it from his father, Timothy Kelly.

And my mother's name was Sadie Rabinowitz.

- Any more questions? - Don't let him bug ya, Hymie.

Picture is pretty clear.

They cover us with enough dirt, then nobody can hear us yelling

that the sheriff here has a nice business

going with Ledbetter.

Shut your mouth, fella.

I'm a duly elected official of this city

and I take my job damn serious.

You stole our money pretty damn serious too.

Shut up!

Now if you're itching for a bruising, keep scratching.

Well, you really fixed things up fine this time.

Now, tell me, how are you gonna

get us out of this thing, friend Fane?

Cool it, Laurel, we're in enough trouble.

You're telling me!

Do you know what they've got me booked for?

- We know. - If you'll post

a hundred dollars bail apiece,

I might be able to get you on the road again.

You took all our money!

There you go again, boy.

Money? What money are you referring to?

I don't know nothing about no money.

We'll have to sell your car.

My car? That's all I've got!

This isn't a game of potsie, Laurel.

He's gonna keep us here till we grow webbed feet.

All right, sell my car.

The price we got for the car

barely gave us enough to post bail,

which we promptly jumped, and a few bucks to spare.

Laurel wanted to take a stab at New York,

so we headed for the big town by bus and thumb.

We finally made it.

The girls work five sets between 9:00 and 3:00 a.m.

Miss Laurel works with special music.

Miss Laurel?

You her personal booker, huh?

Who's he, a chauffeur?

Frankie is the spieler.

I ain't hiring a package deal here.

I don't make a dime in this hole to begin with.

I got my own spieler, I don't need no second-rate spieler.

She wants to work, she works alone.

Now wait a minute, Mr. Grobard.

Frankie here is great.

He can hold any kind of audience down or warm it up.

- Whatever you need. - Sure.

This ain't some country barn.

- He gets scratched. - Forget it, Hymie.

Like the man says, this place is a hole.

- Who needs it? - You got a pretty feisty mouth.

And you got a glass head, I can see right through it.

That's how I know you're stupid.

I don't want him around here.

He stays away or she don't work.

- Now wait a minute... - Don't say anything, Hymie,

don't say a word.

Mr. Grobard, when do I start work?

Tonight. Be here 8:30.

Things haven't been going so good for us

the past couple of months, have they?

What you mean is I'm not workin'.

So I'm a creep?

You could get a job, Frankie.

It wouldn't kill you.

Tell me all about it.

You twitch your hips and you think

that's ten years on the road gang.

Well, nobody ever gave me a dime I didn't have to sweat for.

So knock off of this lazy slob routine.

You hurt me, Frankie.

Send me a bill.

Well, you heard.

It's a small apartment, Frankie.

I've got to go to work.

But when I come back,

you and me are gonna have a talk.

Sure, if you like talkin' to yourself.

I hate to leave you by yourself, Frankie.

Supposed to be a swingin' party in the village.

Lots of chicks.

Hymie, take me to the party with you.

Sure, come on.

Cool.

Man, what a scene. Forget it!

You're entitled to all the spaghetti and chili

you can scarf.

Which way?

Through here.

You a tourist or a native?

Take one from Column A and two from Column B,

you get an egg roll either way.

I have a feeling I'm not going to get anywhere with you.

All depends where you'd like to get.

Mostly, I'd like to get alone with you somewhere.

Get to know you better.

"Get to know you better" usually means

"I'd like to make a pass at you." Huh?

Anything wrong with that?

You're wasting your time.

I'm not the kind of woman who uses sex as a release

or--or even as a weapon.

- You always talk like that? - I try.

Do me a favor, will ya? Try droppin' it with me.

I'm not that smart.

You free thinkers confuse me.

Let me put it this way.

I think I have more to offer than just my body.

Now I understand.

I am the end result of everything I've ever learned,

all I ever hope to be,

and all the experiences I've ever had.

Uh-huh.

How many experiences have you had?

None. But when the right time comes

I'll be special for some man.

So it's worth waiting for.

Most of us have to keep grabbin' what's handy.

Well, I'm not up for grabs.

If a woman doesn't treasure herself,

how can a man treasure her?

You make my head hurt with all that poetry.

I think you try awfully hard not to understand people.

I'm tryin' to understand you.

No, you're not.

You're trying to seduce me.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Have a nice time after the party?

Bamboo shoots under the fingernails

-were too much for you, huh? - Hold it!

Come on, you're not gonna start on me, are you?

- I'm beat! - From what?

We've been down this road before.

Why don't we quit arguing and have a cup of coffee?

No, Hymie. It's time to get this talked out

-once and for all. - What's there to talk out?

You got yourself a beef that's makin' a hole

in the back of my head listening to you whine about it.

But you're gonna listen to me, Frankie,

because I'm gonna spell it out for you A-B-C

so you don't misunderstand.

Right here in front of Hymie and God and everyone.

Ever since we hit this town you've been living off me.

If you think I'm gonna work my tail off

so you can run around with the village chicks...

Oh, stop spreading the pollen around, Frankie, or else!

Or else what?

You'll chop my allowance,

you'll turn me out of your warm bed.

You're nothin', that's what.

So can that "or else" crap.

Oh, come on, Frankie, all she wants you to do

is to stop cattin' around, she's got that much right.

Everybody's got the knife out tonight, right, Kemosabe?

Now, you just shut your face,

'cause we been together too long and you owe me too much, man!

You started payin' me back right now,

you wouldn't get even before this stupid, round-heeled broad

come back into style, which figures to be never!

Oh, that's it!

That tears it!

This is one stupid, round-heeled broad

who is finished, done, D-O-N-E, done!

Get the hell out of here, Frankie, right now.

Out!

You heard me, freeloader.

And don't let the door hit you in the backside.

Out!

Out!

To hell with him!

What does he think I am? Dirt?

Every morning I get the feeling he was gonna leave

two dollars on the dresser for me.

I am no slut, and nobody,

nobody is gonna treat me like one!

I never knew him to be any other way with a woman.

To Frankie, no woman is any better than his mother.

She didn't care who she slept with.

He wanted his father to break away,

so one night he took his father to this guy's house.

When Frankie and his father walked in,

his mother was busy with...

Well, anyway, the old man actually blew his brains out.

Frankie felt responsible.

Try packin' around that much guilt.

Oh, you should have seen Frankie at that funeral.

He almost killed her.

Frankie and me, we hit the road together.

That's a long time before we ran into you.

But the way he sees it,

no woman is any better than his mother.

Hymie...

Why did you let Frankie take me away from you?

Well, I knew that's what you wanted.

Anyhow, I know Frankie.

He won't be back.

Oh.

Oh, that's lovely.

Oh, that's just lovely.

All these years

knocking around looking for a way out,

not even wanting very much of anything.

Just a little rest, some peace and quiet.

I just wanted to be happy.

I see other people, they get happy.

I want mine.

Is that asking a lot?

And I wanted a kid.

I always wanted a kid.

And what rotten, stinking luck

that it's gonna be Frankie's kid.

Listen, Kay, I got a front table at the Waldorf.

Old man Kleinmetz stuck me with some out-of-town buyers.

Good food and good music and we'll dance a little bit,

and have a few laughs. How about it?

I'm sorry, Sid, I can't.

- I have a date. -"I can't!"

It's always "I can't."

Ever since that Fane guy came on the job.

What is with you and him?

I don't think my private life is of any concern of yours.

- Okay, Sid? - I'm not concerned.

I'm just confused.

What do you see in him anyway?

He's just a 65-buck-a-week nothing.

A waste of time.

Do you mind, Sid?

Please.

That Fane guy is nothing!

Turning me down for nothing. She's crazy.

Well, some broads just ain't got no sense at all.

Hi.

I can't offer you a front table at the Waldorf,

but I'll show you the big town.

We'll have Manhattan, the Bronx,

and Staten Island too.

How very lyrical.

Sidney told Mr. Kleinmetz what you did,

and I had all I could do to keep him from firing you.

Why did you bother?

Look, Frankie, I think it is best

we don't see each other tonight.

Besides I have to get these costumes

down to the theater.

The theater?

Frankie, I'll be late.

These are my new designs for the show.

Look, Frankie, please.

These dresses are getting heavy.

I'll carry them for you.

I said no.

And we're not going out together tonight.

Which subway?

IRT or BMT?

Slowly, that's it.

Okay, Frankie, I delivered the costumes.

Let's go.

- That's good. - Let's go. Come on.

Terrible.

Since when have you become an authority on acting?

I don't know anything about acting.

Keep your voice down, you're embarrassing me.

Those two jokers don't know how to handle a knife.

Jab, thrust, that's it.

If they ever get into a rumble,

they'd wind up looking like cheesecloth.

Look at 'em, will ya? A couple of clowns.

Who the devil out there is making all that noise?

Oh, I'm...

I'm sorry about this, Miss Cantaro.

- It's all right, Bert. - All right, whoever you are,

we're trying to rehearse up here.

If you don't know how to keep your mouth shut, then get out.

Bert, he's a friend of mine.

I must apologize.

All right, Kay. Get that creep out of here

before I throw him out.

Frankie.

- Frankie. - What do you think you're doing?

What are you doing?

You got a busy mouth on you, friend.

Wanna throw this creep out?

Start throwin'.

Now I'm gonna show you what a knife is for.

No!

That's how it's done.

Let's get out of here.

You lunatic!

Ya damned kook!

Don't you understand how you embarrassed me in there?

Who do you think you are, Frankie,

just who do you think you are?

I'm me.

And that's plenty good enough.

I'm just as good as that creep salesman at Kleinmetz,

or your phony actor friends.

Sometimes I get the feeling, Frankie, you ought to be

chained up with a ring in your nose.

Now, here, I've worked so hard to get these costumes accepted

and this is the first group that has given me a chance.

You're incorrigible, you're absolutely incorr--

- Oh. - May I sit down?

Oh, please do.

Miss Sophie Cantaro, Mr. Frankie Fane.

Hi.

Now, um, about Frankie.

I've already had one lecture on my bad manners.

What you did on that stage was very realistic.

Once you've been on the noisy end of a knife

you don't forget what that guy looked like comin' at you.

Very impressive.

An actor has to draw from all his experience.

Oh, Miss Cantaro, Frankie isn't an actor.

He doesn't belong to our group.

And the opinions expressed were strictly my own,

and not necessarily those of the director, the designer,

or the so-called actors.

I see.

What do you do?

I push a dress cart in the garment center.

Strong back, weak mind.

Do you think you could tear yourself away long enough

for a little stage experience?

Frankie, Miss Cantaro is from Hollywood.

Swingin'.

And I'm from Ohio.

How many Green Stamps is that?

Frankie, please.

I'll just charge that up

to Frankie's youthful exuberance.

You can call me Mr. Fane.

Frankie, stop being rude and listen, please.

All right, I'll listen.

What's on your mind?

I'm in New York trying to find young talent for my studio.

What studio?

An important studio.

Important enough, even for you, Mr. Fane.

And you want to make me a star, is that right?

Haven't we got this all backwards?

Isn't it me that's supposed to be hustlin' you?

Frankie, you are rude and nasty and impossible.

Absolutely impossible.

Will you stop beating on my ears!

I'm up to here with all this bring-down.

I'm me. You don't like what you see,

then change the scenery. Go.

That's right, go!

I'm not good enough, take off.

Wait, Kay!

Don't! Come back, please.

I didn't mean that.

Why--why do I...

Why do I always try to destroy the people I love?

I've lost her.

I lost the only one in the world who means anything to me.

I can't make it without her, I can't!

Ah, Mr. Fane.

Mr. Fane.

You can call me Frankie.

That's twice in one night you've impressed me.

Oh, I think you'd like to become an actor.

If that's all it takes.

Oh, it takes a lot more.

But if you're willing to learn.

I'm willing to learn.

It means you do exactly as I say.

I don't like wasting my time.

That makes two of us...

Sophie.

After the night Frankie left Laurel, I didn't see him.

And word went through the coffee houses

that Sophie Cantaro was trying to make an actor out of him.

Frankie was looking for something,

something that made him hungrier and hungrier.

Sophie got him a part in an off-Broadway show.

We went to see the show, Laurel and I.

We sat in the back.

He was good.

Don't try to stop me.

I'll start. Stay here!

How about a nightcap?

You know I don't touch the stuff.

Besides, you didn't bring me up here

just for a nightcap.

All right, Kappy.

- What did you think of him? - Sophie, my love,

it was a genuine stinker of a play.

Oh, I know the play is a loser, but it's the boy.

He has all the right instincts

and he's learning faster than I can teach him.

Any day now, he's going to make the big leap

and he's going to need an agent he can trust.

I'm arranging with the coast for a screen test.

How about it, will you handle him?

Is there something more to this boy

than just his talent?

Alfred Kapstetter, I'm 42 years old.

Don't be ludicrous.

And me? I'm almost 60

and a certain percent of my money

goes to pay ladies of the evening,

not to reserve me a place in the senior citizen's column.

You, you're 42,

there are many good minutes left for you.

All right, I have a full client list right now

but I'll take him on.

Good!

Oh, I haven't found anyone as exciting as this

in years, Kappy.

I want him to be my discovery.

It's very important to me.

Is it--is it possible he's too important?

Kenneth, you ran Frankie's screen test three times.

Why can't you give us an answer?

Note to the Budget Department: I have not yet received

the cost breakdown sheets for the second unit in Rome.

I want those figures immediately.

I think his basic strength came through

quite effectively, Kenneth.

What do you think about it?

Note to Art Department:

The sets for "Timbuktu" are still standing.

Why can't they be revamped for "The Mongol Horde?"

Kenneth, what is your decision?

No.

That's what my sense tells me, no.

Something is not right with him.

If Kappy walks out of here without a contract

and signs him up at Metro...

Why you pushing me, Sophie?

Very, very simple, he's a new talent,

and Sophie brought him to you, that makes our first obligation.

You, you want your dollar, it rides with Fane,

so you bow and murmur to me all the words

you think I want to hear:

vitality, dynamic personality,

good box office.

And you sense time passes, no stars have come your way.

I just hope you're telling me a little truth.

I never know with either of you.

Kenneth, this is all foolishness.

Yes, foolishness.

Once in a while when the weather is cooler,

and you move a little faster,

you bring me meat like this meat.

It all has different names, Prime Rib of Gloria,

Shoulder Cut of Johnny, Filet Fane Meat.

I've been with the studio a lot of years, Kenneth,

and I know what I'm doing.

Frankie is the best potential I have ever uncovered for you.

There is something I miss in Fane's performance.

I can't identify it. It disturbs me.

All right, I'll pick up the option on him.

I'll notify the Legal Department.

No rush, Kenneth.

Your word is good enough for me.

Note to Regan: Nice meeting you.

We'll have to get together again sometime.

It was quite a while since I'd seen Frankie,

but the telegram he sent was as if it were yesterday.

He had no doubt that I would come, and I did.

As tight as he was with some people out here,

he was still alone.

He had called me because he needed me,

as simple as that.

It was a new world

and he needed a friend alongside.

He was living in a posh place just off the strip.

It was a far cry from the motels

we used to crawl into.

It had hot and cold running everything.

He introduced me to the troops

as his public relations man from New York.

Out here, nobody walks around without a title,

so that was mine.

I came, I saw, and he conquered.

It was the same Frankie.

A little more tanned, more assured, better dressed,

but the same Frankie.

Wow! What a pad!

This is the place, Hymie.

It's like Hollywood was waitin' for me.

You'll bunk here on the duo-bed.

Hang your stuff in there.

Hey, are there always that many broads around?

Wait till the weekend!

Hey, I'm gonna like it here.

Speakin' of broads, whatever happened to Laurel?

I married her.

Oh yeah?

How is she?

She died.

What'd you say?

I said she died.

Hey, get into some trunks, then we'll go pick ourselves

a couple of goodies from poolside.

You're late!

Mr. Fane.

You're late!

- What's this? - It's usually called a camera.

Full length.

All right, Mr. Fane.

Let's get a few things straight

before we're seen on the street together.

Now, in as much as this date was set up through the studio

by our respective publicity managers,

you can put your suave masculine charm in escrow

for the night.

We either do it by the ground rules

or we don't do it.

Ground rules?

One.

When they ask for autographs, this is my scene.

You play straight man.

Two.

You keep your mouth shut

when the columnists ask questions.

Oh, I'll spell Fane properly,

but I don't like grabbers so don't volunteer any remarks.

Can I bark once in a while

so as they'll know I haven't stopped breathing?

Oh, it's terrible!

All wrong.

Oh.

Ground rule number three.

I photograph best from my left side,

so stay on my right at all times.

Four. Don't try to drop any hints

about our big romance to the fan magazines.

One pinkie on my thigh and they'll be mailing you

back to Pocatello, or wherever you come from,

in an envelope.

Is that all?

You're the one who needs to be seen.

Take it or leave it.

Ah, perfect, just perfect!

My wrap is on the chair.

That's your car?

About twelve more payments.

Call William.

Tell him to bring the Continental around.

Miss Barker?

Thank you.

Miss Barker, anything to say about your next picture?

Oh, the studio is just pleading with me

to do a picture with Jack Lemmon,

but I really haven't made up my mind yet.

Who's the gentleman you're with, Miss Barker?

Oh, don't get me wrong, I respect Mr. Lemmon,

I think he's a marvelous actor.

It's just that I feel I should wait

until the right script comes along.

The gentleman you're with, Miss Barker.

What's his name?

My last picture was so terribly exhausting

I really feel I need a rest,

but the studio is spending a million dollars

to exploit it so I have agreed to travel

to several of the openings.

This way, Miss Barker, please!

Hold it, Miss Barker.

Excuse us, fellas, but Miss Barker has to go

rest her mouth a while, she's been talking all evening.

Frankie wanted the town to be aware he was alive

and he knew how to do it.

Man, he wanted to swallow Hollywood

like a cat with a canary.

And he did it.

The parts got bigger, and Frankie was hooked.

Like a junkie shooting pure quicksilver

into his veins.

Frankie got turned on the wildest narcotic

known to mortal man: Success.

And he needed larger and larger doses.

As the years went by,

it became part of his life like air.

The attention, the recognition.

Now he was somebody.

He was always too hungry.

Too much and too far ahead of himself.

He bought a Rolls before he could afford it.

He bought the mansion in Bel Air.

He went the route.

The interiors were from the best shops

on Decorators Row.

Even Sam the houseboy was imported.

Frankie played the part for real, the whole image.

He had arrived.

Tell Hymie to make me a drink.

- Bwana wants a drink. - I heard.

He's in a funky mood today.

Well, you know the pattern.

Every time he starts a new picture,

Snarly Fane, the Boy-Faced Dog.

Fane residence.

Miss Cheryl Barker.

Butter would melt in her mouth.

Why not? She's got a hot mouth.

It's Cheryl Barker. What should I tell her?

Tell her I've got my own ground rules.

Hi, Cheryl?

Frankie says he has his own ground rules.

Okay, I'll tell him.

What'd she say?

She musta found it written in the ladies' room somewhere

Come on, let's go.

Regan may have another coronary.

Yes, sir, Mr. Fane.

Wally!

Mr. Fane, I've just been assigned to your picture.

Fine, Wally, hop in. The wardrobe's in the back.

We're taking it over to my dressing room.

Kay Bergdahl, sketch artist.

Studio brought her out from New York

to work for Edith Head.

Okay? Let's go.

Let's go inside, Frankie.

Cool it.

This way, Mr. Fane, please.

Thank you.

Oh, Frankie, isn't that Hedda Hopper?

Would you care for something from the bar?

Yes, I'd like a double vodka gimlet,

and a huge, I mean huge Green Goddess salad.

I just love Green Goddess salad.

You will make it that special way for me,

won't you, Pierre?

Scotch and water for me.

And tone it down to a 20 decibel war hoop.

Hedda can hear you.

You know, that's getting to be a lousy habit of yours.

Leaving me standing alone and not paying any attention to me.

You know, I really--oh...

Really, Frankie, I just love going out with you.

And look who's here!

Hello, Hedda.

- Hello. Hello, Frankie! - Hello, Hedda.

Anything going between you two I should have for the column?

Oh really, Hedda, you're embarrassing us.

If there's anything at all,

you'll be the first to know it.

Thank you.

There's nothing.

Frankie and I are just inseparable good friends,

that's all.

We're nothing.

Once you've gone out with Frankie,

why, there's just nobody else in Hollywood.

I just think Frankie is the most dynamic man

I've ever dated.

She's nothing.

Excuse me, Hedda.

Frankie has the most marvelous sense of humor.

Darling, your laughter is showing.

Bye!

You've got your own date, Frankie.

Listen, buster.

When somebody dates me,

they better know that I require

a lot of attention.

That oughta get you some attention.

How long have you been out here?

A few months.

Don't you call your friends?

I called my friends, Frankie.

I want to talk to you, Kay.

It's important.

I'll make a deal with you.

One hour, cup of coffee,

and I'll show you the most unusual restaurant

you've ever seen.

Look, Frankie, I'm tired, and I--

Come on.

Please.

Please?

Why are we stopping here?

You said coffee, or a restaurant.

Come on aboard.

Come on.

It's a beautiful boat, Frankie.

Remember me when I was pushing a rack

through the snow on 28th Street?

I remember many things, Frankie.

I'd like to get you to forget some of them.

Listen, Kay.

I was a punk without a subway token.

It couldn't have gone anywhere with us.

It's different now.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about us.

Us.

There's no us.

There's you and there's me.

There's no us.

That's not true.

There is something between us, Kay.

It may not have been right in New York,

but there were things happening between us always.

You can't deny that.

Well, you're not exactly the kind of man

any woman could call a passing fancy.

There's nothing happening between us,

now any more than before.

It was the Princess and the Pauper then.

I didn't have anything to offer you.

But now it's different.

Don't con me, Frankie.

Offer me.

What were you ever going to offer me?

The chance to fight you off every time we got together?

So, fine, now you got the yacht

and you got cars, and...

they save the best table for you at the best restaurants.

So what?

You haven't changed.

It's that seed of rot inside of you

which makes you what you are,

that you can't change.

You just dress it better.

Now I get it.

I think I understand.

Maybe it's that thing inside me,

that rot, that evil you think you see.

Maybe that's what turns you on.

Take me home, Frankie.

You slapped my face the first time

I made a pass at you.

But you got me a job that kept me near you.

Every time I tried to get close,

you pushed me away, but not too far.

Oh, that Middle European

peasant upbringing of yours, baby.

They told you so often

that playing house with a guy was dirty,

you got all knotted up inside.

But you like to play.

So you can't get turned on by a guy who treats you nice,

a schlep like the one you were out with tonight.

But a guy who wipes his feet on you?

That, you dig.

Shut up!

You just want me because I won't let you use me

like all the others.

Because I'm not like all the others.

You represent everything I loathe, Frankie.

You mean everything you love.

Take me home.

Take me home!

Right away.

Well.

Hello, stranger.

Stop! Just stop.

What is this all about?

Is there something eating you, lady?

What should be eating me?

That I haven't seen you in almost two months?

That Sam or Hymie tell me you've gone to Tierra del Fuego

when I call?

That you should appear suddenly out of the night

and expect me to play Lady Bountiful

to your world-weary carcass?

Oh, should I be disturbed?

Heaven forbid, Frankie Fane, sir.

I don't know what the hell your problem is,

but whatever it is, just forget it.

I mean, I feel lousy, I'm drivin' around,

I find myself here,

so I come in for a drink and a cigarette.

You're jumpin' salty all over me before I get my shoes off.

Exactly the point, Frankie,

before you get your shoes off.

Didn't you ever think to ask?

Just once, say please or may I?

Oh, Frankie, Frankie,

you really don't understand, do you?

I don't know why I keep expecting you

to act like other men when you're not.

You're another kind of machine entirely.

Do you bleed?

Do you cry?

No, Sophie, I don't care about anything that much.

Don't go.

We'll talk.

Don't break a leg getting out of here.

What's that supposed to mean?

I didn't know we considered meanings, Frankie.

I thought you and I went strictly by instinct.

You got a bug again.

No bug, just a middle-aged woman's rosary,

a bead for each year,

six with your name on them.

You know, I think you go a little soft in the gourd

early in the morning.

Look at me when you talk to me!

I'm not some sort of garbage pail you can slam a lid on

and walk away.

- What the hell is all this? - Let me tell you about hell,

about being a silly woman who needs to feel

she belongs to someone,

even someone as empty as you are, Frankie.

'Cause you're not real, you're some sort of dream,

some sort of fog that comes drifting in here at night

and out again in the morning.

You get as good as you give, Sophie.

Nobody breaks your arm.

Oh, no, nobody breaks my arm.

That's the pathetic thing about me.

But you, Frankie, oh, you're something else again,

you're really something else.

You go after what you want-- and in some men it's admirable--

in you, it's unclean!

I don't know what the hell you're gibbering about.

No, no, I know you don't.

Oh, go on.

Go on and get out of here.

That's what you want to do anyway'

you want get out of here without having to look at me.

So, go on, go on!

I'm going, old lady.

But let's make this the last stand.

Let's make this the one that wraps it up.

Fade out.

Bye, Frankie.

Close the door behind you.

Let me get some sleep.

- Steve Marks, how are you? - How are you, Frankie?

Haven't seen you since we did that thing together at Metro.

Yeah, it's good seeing you again.

Haven't seen Kappy Kapstetter,

I'm supposed to meet him here.

Yes, he's in a booth in the back.

Kappy.

Hi, Frank.

I'd ask you to join us, Steve,

but we have some business to discuss.

Would you care for a drink before dinner?

Ah, no, thanks, Steve.

Majtre d'.

What happened? He was a good actor.

Made more pictures than I have.

This is a chancy business, Frankie.

You never know you're on the way out

till you suddenly realize it would take a ticket

to get back in.

Would you care to order dinner now?

Oh.

Frankie.

Frankie!

You want to order dinner now?

Squab and wild rice.

I'll have the same, thanks.

Well, what brings you to the valley

to see me over squab and wild rice?

I want you to do something for me.

The studio brought out a girl named Kay Bergdahl.

- Is she an actress? - No, they brought her out

to work under Edith Head as a sketch artist.

I'd like her to be a designer.

See to it, will you?

"See to it"?

What am I, a genie in a bottle?

Poof, you're a designer?

I mean, what right have I got to go in to Regan

and say make this girl a designer.

Would you mind breakin' that two-buck violin you're playin'?

What is this sincere bit?

The fact is my ten percent before taxes

is paying your office overhead.

And you'll stop earning it

when you stop giving me what I want.

Tell Regan.

How quickly you forget the beginnings.

I just remembered I'll have to skip dinner.

I have a doctor's appointment in the morning.

Kappy!

Do it!

Then I suppose I'm to make sure

Miss Bergdahl knows it was you who got her the job?

All in due time, Kappy.

All in due time.

Cancel those orders.

Where can I find Steve Marks?

Oh, through that door in the back.

You're gonna have the soul of a ribbon clerk.

Inventory.

Now, Marks, I can't promise a big part--

I don't have that much to say about casting--

but a small part, something with a little juice in it.

No, no thanks, I don't want any part.

You've got to understand something.

I made the money, I blew it.

My time passed.

New kids were coming in on every bus,

so I died.

I got used to it.

I don't want to be dug up like some corpse.

I don't want to have to die all over again.

No thanks.

How did it happen so fast?

Fast?

Like being stunned by a hammer.

Am I bitter?

Sure I am.

I don't want you to think this is charity.

There is nothing wrong with charity,

I'm not Charlie Noble, I can use the money.

I paid my dues in this town.

Hey, don't fool yourself.

You didn't give me this out of friendship or charity

or even pity.

It's fear, Frankie.

It's going to help bury your fear.

Hi, Kappy.

- Hello, Hymie. - Sit down, Kappy.

Hymie, fix Kappy a plate of huevos rancheros.

Eggs rancheros coming up in honor of our Mexican friends

below the border.

Eggs made with chopped green tomatoes, some chilies,

and a couple of squirts of tequila guaranteed to cement

inter-American relations.

Just orange juice.

What are you, a guest?

I revolted when they said I had to make

a terrible meal like that.

Icch!

Sunday isn't my idea of a time for business, Frankie,

but I wanted to catch you before you left for Tijuana.

I have a waiver for you to sign.

What kind of waiver?

One of the attorneys at the studio's legal department

failed to notify us officially

that they were picking up your option.

It's a technicality, but Regan wants a waiver signed.

So what does it mean that they didn't notify us on time,

I mean legally?

Well, legally it means if we wanted to take advantage,

we could get out of the contract.

Sign right here.

No.

What no?

Why no?

Sign, Frankie.

I want you to negotiate a new contract.

You can't do this.

We've operated by a handshake.

Regan trusts me.

Good faith.

You can't sandbag him like this.

- That lawyer might lose his job. - Who are you agenting for,

me or some kid out of Harvard Law?

I said I want Regan's back up against the wall.

Hey, Frankie, take it easy.

Listen to Kappy.

- Maybe-- - Shut up!

Now?

Remember the day I sat in that man's office

and he talked about me like I was meat,

like I wasn't even there.

Well, now comes payback time.

He has big plans for you, Frankie.

Please don't do this to Regan, please!

Well, it just breaks my heart to think of poor Regan unhappy.

Do it, Kappy!

Tell him I want a better deal or I walk!

Snake Pit.

Hymie Kelly speaking.

Oh, hi.

Wait a minute, I'll see if he's up yet.

It's Kay Bergdahl.

I'll take it inside.

Yeah?

Frankie, um, I called to tell you two things.

The first is to thank you.

For what?

For getting me that designing job.

I was at a party at Mr. Regan's last night and he told me

how I got the break.

Thank you, Frankie.

It was a very kind thing to do.

What's the second thing?

Oh, I'm--I'm sorry for what I said on the boat.

Look, uh, how would you like to go down to Tijuana

for the bullfights with me this afternoon?

Well, I don't know, Frankie, I...

I'm not about to hassle with you.

I'm sorry about what I said.

You're sorry about what you said.

Let's make up.

You either trust me or you don't.

You either want to go or you don't.

Yes or no.

No hassle?

No hassle.

I'd like to go very much, Frankie.

Pick you up in an hour.

Attención!

Señoras, señoritas, y caballeros,

it is my great pleasure

to introduce our special guest of honor,

Señor Frank Fane!

Matador Ruiz Losada...

...will dedicate this bull to Señor Fane

and his lovely señorita.

What does it mean "dedicate the bull" to you?

It means they cut the ears of the dead carcass

and give them to me.

That sounds charming.

Olé!

The minute I saw you, I told little darling,

I said, that's Frankie Fane.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

Frankie Fane sittin' right next to me.

Yeah, Honey Bunny here recognized you right away,

Mr. Fane.

Olé!

Trina here is one of your biggest fans!

She sees every one of your shows.

Isn't that right, doll?

Oh, yeah.

Nice to know you, Trina. This is Miss Bergdahl.

- How are you? - Hi.

I just adore your pictures.

I saw that one, you know,

where you play the private eye three times.

Honey Bunny here is a private eye,

I guess that's why.

Name is Barney Yale.

I got my own agency in L.A.

Olé!

Hey, what are you doin' after the corrida?

Goddess and me got big things planned.

Thanks, Barney, but we got plans.

Olé!

Look, we been together now for three years

and we finally made the big decision.

Oh, come on, we'd be honored if you'd be our witnesses.

What d'ya say, Miss Bergdahl?

Oh, it'd be a thrill to have you and a big celebrity

like Frank Fane as our witnesses.

Golly!

Please?

Frankie, what do you think?

Let's go, huh? I love weddings.

Weddings?

Who said anything about weddings?

We came down here to get a divorce!

And so now with the power invested in me

I pronounce you divorced.

Okay, sign the papers.

That is fifteen dollars, please.

Thank you, señor.

Fifteen dollars, señor, please. Por favor.

- Barney Yale! - Si, Barney, fifteen dollars.

Baby!

It was miserable being married to you!

Honey, it was hell!

Son locos!

Hey, don't you want to kiss the ex-bride?

Go ahead.

- Come on! - Frankie, oh!

Mmm!

(speaking Spanish)

Hey!

The witnesses have to sign a decree.

Hey, no, come on.

Have to sign a decree, makes it very legal.

Twenty-five dollars, señor.

Twenty-five? I thought you said fifteen!

No, I don't say fifteen. It's twenty-five dollars.

You have a lot of papers to sign, man.

Barney, pay the man.

Oh, all right, okay, all right, here you go,

go on, it was worth it.

Muchas gracias, señor.

Listen, lady, I have some nice watch for you.

Come on, very nice.

Come on, come on, the small one.

- Come on. - No I've got one.

Okay, listen, I have a very good deal.

Pasaporte fotografias.

I make you a package deal.

You guys, four for five dollars!

You and Kay are just right for each other.

Why, it's like an "Alice in Wonderland" kind of thing,

with you and her as the prince and princess.

There wasn't any prince and princess

in "Alice in Wonderland."

There wasn't any in my marriage to that stinko Barney either.

Too bad.

Oh, there's always Chester Tumwater.

Chester Tumwater, man of my dreams.

And you know, Barney doesn't even know I know him.

You're a pretty busy girl.

He has lots and lots of money stashed away

in lots and lots of banks.

And he is going to provide me with comfort and luxury

in my declining years.

Oh-ho, that Chester is an operator.

Right now he's operating on your girlfriend.

Oh, you mean Barney?

Everybody sees Barney, but I...I see Chester.

You know,

I admire you.

You admire me.

'Cause you're a movin' picture star.

That's what I was gonna be.

That's why I married old Chester.

Oh, sugar!

I mean Barney.

Hey Frankie, go ahead!

Take her!

It's too hot in here.

And too crowded.

And the music's loud.

Too loud.

I don't like this music, anyhow.

And, uh, Barney might come back any minute.

There's one or two places where I'm not black and blue.

And we haven't been alone all day.

No, we haven't.

It's been a lovely day, Frankie.

Pretty good for me too.

I can't relax this much around most people.

Sometimes we do go well together, don't we?

I go better with you than any other girl I know.

Woman I know.

Which are you, Kay?

Girl or woman?

I'd like to think that I'm a woman, Frankie.

Woman.

Spend the night with me at Rosarita Beach.

I think I'm in love with you.

Frankie, I want to go with you to Rosarita,

I want to, I do.

Marry me, Kay.

Marry me, tonight.

And now I pronounce you man and wife.

Thirty-five dollars please, thank you very much.

Thirty-five?

You only charged me 25 for a divorce.

Señor, this is a deluxe service.

My wife Consuela is going to sing "Carmen Carmela."

Yeah, right, sing, sing. Go ahead.

Consuela, sing "Carmen Carmela."

Oh no, come on, let's get out of here!

I'm so happy, darling.

- Love me? - Mm-hm.

As much as last night?

Of course.

Oh, it feels so good.

I wish we could stay down here forever.

It's almost noon.

We should've started back hours ago.

But can't we stay just for a few days?

Nope.

Is there anything wrong, Frankie?

Nothing's wrong.

I just don't have the time to spend here.

Well, can't you make the time?

It's our honeymoon.

I have to get back to town.

I'm involved in contract trouble at the studio.

Is that so difficult to understand?

Now, will you please get dressed?

Frankie, look at me when you talk to me.

I'll pay the bill.

See you downstairs.

Frankie found himself married

but he still couldn't change his feelings about women,

so his only avenue was escape.

He employed the slimy services

of the Hymie Kelly Broad Procuring Agency.

I was running out of numbers.

He used them like Kleenex, once and threw 'em away.

I was having trouble rationalizing

what I was becoming working for Frankie.

A garbage collector applies for a credit card,

calls himself a Sanitation Disposal Expert.

What could I call myself?

Kay wouldn't have any trouble giving it a name.

Hymie, deep thinker, explain to me

the ethical structure of the universe.

Oh, there's nothing wrong with building a dream castle

unless you try to move into it.

Kay, why don't you go to bed?

It's almost three a.m.

Because my bed is empty of husband.

You know what I do, Hymie?

I count nights.

I found a Freudian substitute for counting sheep.

I count empty nights.

Where is he, Hymie?

Well, there was a late call on the set

and he said he'd have a sandwich and be home right away.

You're lying.

You're lying, Hymie.

Why does everybody lie for him?

You, Sam, Kappy, all of you.

Frankie's company finished at 9:15.

I called the studio.

You see, you turned me into something I always hated,

a sneaking kind of woman, a jealous woman,

a checking-up-on-him kind of woman.

Well, he may have stopped off for a couple of belts

with the troops.

You know Frankie, he needs to unlax after a work day.

Oh, I am sorry, sir, but you will have to go.

My husband is expected back from the Punic Wars any moment now

and he's insanely jealous.

Sam, go run me a tub of hot water, huh?

- Want something to eat? - No, I've eaten.

I don't see very much of you these days, Frankie.

They're keeping me hopping at the studio.

No, no, I mean after work.

You seem to be able to keep hopping right through the night.

Hymie, get me an aspirin, my head's splitting.

And so is our marriage.

Finding excuses not to come home at night until I'm asleep

and leaving in the morning before I get up,

no matter how early I get up.

I am married to you, Frankie.

It means that you come home after work

and that we go out together,

and that we raise babies and make a marriage.

Whatever you have inside you, Frankie, doesn't apply to me.

I am your wife.

There are different kinds of women.

What do you mean, whatever I have inside me?

Uh-oh, this time I'm not in the middle.

I have nothin' to do with it.

I'm splittin', I'll see you tomorrow.

Frankie, it is like heat lightning just before a storm.

I can smell the rain in the air.

Terrible things will happen, Frankie.

Please listen to me now, please.

I'm beat.

We'll talk about it tomorrow.

But we're running out of tomorrows.

I'm going to take a bath and get some sleep.

I'll talk to you tomorrow.

I'll phone for an appointment, my love.

Why does it take me years to learn a lesson?

Why do I continue to put money into actors

whose films simply don't sell tickets?

I thought the rushes were very, very good, Kenneth.

These are exhibitors' reports.

They speak very clearly and very loudly.

They say, "Do not send any more Frank Fane product.

Send botulism or typhus.

Don't send Fane."

Some of Frankie's pictures have been your biggest grossers.

Certainly.

Which ones?

I'll tell you which ones.

This one costarring John Wayne, this one with Jack Lemmon

and Shirley MacLaine, this one with Kirk Douglas.

He did a great job in "Breakthrough."

The critics gave him raves.

It will be the most artistic financial flop I ever made.

I'm not saying Fane isn't a good actor,

he's just not good box office.

Yes, Kappy, Kenneth is right.

It's the magic the camera catches that makes a star.

I thought Frankie had it but I was wrong.

And I say he does have it. I've seen it.

I've seen him walk into a room.

I've watched women react.

It's happened before, Kappy.

We've seen it, you and I.

What happens in a room

just doesn't come across on the screen.

That personal magnetism wears off on film like hypnosis.

Kenneth perceived it from the beginning.

I admit I was fooled.

And his demands.

If I had a dime for every dollar he cost in lost production.

The fights, arguments.

He's a trouble, Kappy, you know that's the truth.

And not to make a dime from a trouble.

So...

we take off the clown's happy face

and see tears underneath.

Don't, Kappy.

You leave a man's career like a bag of broken glass

and you say, "Don't, Kappy"?

Once a long time ago, Sophie, you came to me,

you asked me a favor.

I wondered if I was making a mistake,

but I did the favor because you were who you were.

I'm someone else now.

He changed me.

No one changes anyone else.

They merely open the doors.

You have to walk through those doors yourself.

You know what the sadness is, Sophie?

That you couldn't possibly do the hurt to him

that he did to you.

I'm beginning to think you're telepathic.

I was gonna call you, I need some money.

There isn't any more money, Frankie.

Working on the set all day has apparently dulled

my sense of humor.

I don't get the joke.

You have back taxes to pay,

not to mention commissions owing me.

The money you keep overdrawing for the boat,

household expenses, it's no joke, Frankie.

I'm not in a joking mood.

Regan isn't picking up your option.

Figures from the exhibitors, trouble with your pictures.

Eh, who cares?

I don't need Regan.

What about that spy thing at Warners?

They signed Dean Martin.

Dean Martin?

That part was right for me.

Yeah, but they wanted Dean Martin.

Look, I'm not trying to hurt you,

I'm just trying to clear away the fog between you and reality.

There's a short-scheduled picture

that I've been working on for you.

It means a trick deal, a cut in salary.

It's a nice script, one of those horror shticks

with a couple of big name older actresses.

Kappy, you've gotta be shuckin' me.

Cut in salary? Trick deal? Old bags?

Here's your money, Frankie,

and I think it's for the last time.

Face facts.

In a few days, the word goes out,

it always does.

You're runnin' scared.

A little trouble and it's Chicken Licken,

the sky is falling.

If that's the kind of faith in me ten percent buys,

maybe I need a fresh agent.

I'll pretend that wasn't said.

But Frankie couldn't face reality

because he had lost touch with it.

And Kappy, he was busy trying to save the pieces

of Frankie's career.

But the word was out, he was box office poison.

It was like trying to save Humpty Dumpty.

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't do it.

Neither could Kappy.

Did you have a good day?

Tell it like it is.

Well, they talk James Garner or Rod Taylor or somebody else.

They won't talk you.

When you tell it straight, you don't do any polka, do you?

Put Regan's back against the wall, you told me,

and I told you he'd remember.

The figures on your picture are all over town.

That crumb.

I broke my back for him in "Breakthrough."

It was a great picture.

I checked it out, it's all true.

It's like tryin' to hatch an ostrich egg.

The picture sits there.

Things can't be as bad as you're makin' 'em, Kappy.

Not so fast, not just like that.

It's as bad as you can make it, Frankie.

I've got a home, a wife, a yacht, cars.

I've got things I worked a long time to get.

It's a nightmare, Kappy.

You've gotta do something, you've got to pull me out.

If you only saved a little, Frankie, but you always spent.

God, how you spent.

That's all past. This is now.

Don't lecture me, you've got to save me, Kappy.

What am I, the second coming of the Messiah?

I'm an agent, there's just so much I can do.

All right, there's a television pilot deal,

an adventure series.

A television pilot?

I figured you'd feel that way about it.

Pilot films are a dollar a six-pack.

If it doesn't sell, I'm really through.

This town is full of ex-actors

who were in unsold television pilots.

They're selling used cars or real estate.

I know, or working as head waiters.

But there's no other way to go.

- Forget it. - Frankie.

Winter is coming.

Be smart.

Get in out of the cold.

I thought you were sleeping.

Why bother?

I don't need the night for sleep.

I've got all kinds of time on my hands.

Morning time, night time, noon time.

I'm alone, just me and Sam, my shadow.

Please, Kay, not tonight.

You wouldn't believe the kind of day I've had.

Oh, you should put that speech on tape.

It's gotten to be a fireproof, gold-plated,

diamond-encrusted excuse for never talking to me.

And we're gonna fight again.

Machiavelli would have loved your technique.

In no time at all I've been typecast

as the nagging, shrewish haus frau.

Kay, you're getting more, more I don't know what every day.

If you're groping for a verb to explain my condition,

try "frustrated," huh?

What is happening to us, Frankie?

Nothing's happening to us.

It's just that things are going badly.

I talked to Kappy today.

The bottom is dropping out of everything.

Don't.

You know how to strip the slaughtered animal clean,

don't you?

Well, there isn't much left when you say,

"No, thank you, maybe some other time

when I can stomach you!"

Speaking for the network, gentlemen,

we think it's a beautiful package.

I think this meeting today will go a long way

towards reassuring Mr. Quentin

that Frank Fane is just right

for the pilot script.

I'm a businessman.

I deal in tile, paint,

and things that become part of your home,

so that anybody stands up there on that television screen says,

"I used QuentiPlak in my rumpus room,

that man has to stand for something."

Excuse me, gentlemen, what has this got to do

with Mr. Fane as an actor?

Mr. Fane, as star of the series,

is required to do Quentin Tile commercials.

Part of the contract, clause six.

Yeah, of course.

That man has to stand for Quentin products.

He has to be acceptable

to two and a half million American people

who will be saying, "Come in, be a guest in my house."

Well, I think Frank Fane would be a welcome guest

in any house.

Well, now I'm not much of a movie-goer,

but Mrs. Quentin, my wife,

she's very big on that sort of thing,

You know, theater.

And she has very good taste.

You see, gentlemen, Mrs. Quentin

has a very highly defined sense of what is saleable over TV.

It was her idea to market QuentiPlak

-in pastel colors, you recall. - I asked her, I said,

"Phyllis, would you want this Fane fellow

in our home for a Saturday night party?"

"It'd be a pleasure," she said.

And I agree.

Now, Mr. Fane looks clean-cut to me.

He isn't one of those snotty little punks

with too much hair that they have on those other shows.

We need a man of this sort for promotion,

a man that men will look at and say,

"He's a man," that's a necessity.

A Mr. Kelly for Mr. Fane.

Tell him to leave a number, we're in conference.

He says it's urgent, extremely urgent.

I'll take it in the outer office.

You go ahead, I'll catch up.

I don't think we need to worry about Fane being a man.

He looks like a real man.

Hell, he's a man all right.

You can take it right over there, Mr. Fane.

- Hymie? - You've just been nominated

-for an Oscar. - What?

- I can't hear you. - I'm at the Academy,

and they just released the Oscar nominations.

Frankie, do you hear me?

I said they just nominated you for the Best Actor,

"Breakthrough," you and Burton and Lancaster and...

Hymie, if this is a gag I'll kill ya.

Hey, Frankie, congratulations!

So help me, Frankie, it's no gag.

It's the emmes, the truth, you've been nominated.

Frankie!

Frankie!

Talk to you later.

Frankie, they're getting impatient.

I don't think I can make it.

What are you talking about?

I'm not doing that nitwit series.

Wait a minute, Frankie, this is one of the major networks.

They've already put money into the project,

they've brought out an important sponsor.

That's their problem.

No one told them to go ahead.

I told 'em to go ahead.

Then it's your problem. I never authorized it.

You didn't sit there in the Polo Lounge and say,

"Go ahead, Kappy. Save my life, Kappy.

Let me keep my car, my home, my yacht."

You didn't do this?

One phone call and I'm not dogmeat

like I was in Regan's office,

like I was in there a minute ago.

One phone call.

So just go sliding back in there and tell 'em,

"Game called on account of Oscar."

That's right, Oscar.

That phone call from Hymie.

Academy nominations were announced.

I was nominated for "Breakthrough."

So go tell old OuentiPlak and his wife Phyllis

I won't be able to come to their house party Saturday night.

Congratulations, boss.

Yeah, sure, baby, thanks, bye.

Where have you been? They told me you left

the network three hours ago.

I took a drive.

Well, the phones haven't stopped.

While you were out playing the wandering gentile,

everyone who wouldn't look our way last week

is calling to proclaim buddyhood.

It's a hell of a thing, Hymie.

Yeah, it is a hell of a thing, all right.

I've been driving around thinking.

All the way back to the smokers.

You won't believe what it was like

in that office this morning.

I was nothing all over again.

Fane residence.

I was sitting on my hands sweating

while they had me on the counter.

It's the wife, she called a couple times before.

170 pounds of meat again, sold to the highest bidder.

- Hi. - Frankie!

Congratulations, Frankie.

Everyone here is so excited for you,

you just don't know.

It was wonderful news.

Edith says you simply have to win

because everybody at the studio here is rooting for you.

Thanks, Kay, and thank Edith for me.

Aren't you thrilled?

Haven't come in for a landing yet.

Save some Champagne for me, eh?

- Right. - Okay, darling.

See you later. Bye.

We've got a lot of work ahead.

The other nominees have probably started their campaigns already.

We'll lead off with ads in the trade papers,

-thanking the-- - Oh, later, Hymie, I'm beat.

Like somebody pulled the plug and let the juice out of me.

This morning I saw what the bottom of the bucket

looks like again.

And now an Oscar nomination.

This is a chancy business, Frankie.

It can happen.

You never know you're on the way out

till you suddenly realize it would take a ticket

-to get back in. - It can happen so fast

it's like being stunned by a hammer.

You heard me, freeloader.

Don't let the door hit you in the backside.

That Fane guy's nothing.

You bring me meat, Filet Fane.

Meat.

It's fear, Frankie.

Is this going to help you bury your fear?

- Meat. - It's fear.

- Freeloader! - I don't need any

second-rate spieler!

That Fane guy's nothing.

- It's fear. - It can happen.

- Meat. - Freeloader!

- Second-rate spieler! - Nothing!

It can happen, it can happen,

it can happen fast.

Fear, fear, fear, fear, fear, fear, fear, fear.

When it hits, I want it to hit big.

You think you can do it?

Sure I can.

I can get it on the front page of every major newspaper

in the country within 48 hours.

What happens when they ask who hired you?

Now you know better than that.

It's built in the deal.

I'm a private detective.

It's privileged communication.

But if I reveal just the name of one client,

I'm out of business.

There's $2,000 in it for you.

A thousand now and a thousand after I do it, okay?

It's all there, $2,000.

Now we don't have to see each other again.

Okay.

Now, you want it leaked just this way:

that you were arrested for prostitution and procuring

and jumped bail, you and this fella,

Hymie Kelly, and a girl by the name of Laurel Scott, right?

Hey, Mr. Fane, you're a pretty chilly item.

I can't figure you out.

Yeah.

How about that?

Early papers. Everything hit the fan.

Some crud dug up what happened to us in Clinton,

how we got put in jail on morals charges.

- Ooh-wee! That ain't good. - Don't bother to read.

They've got all of the facts, right down to the bail jump

and the spelling of the sheriff's name.

Give me a gallon of coffee, Sam.

What's the talk around town?

That you're an ex-pimp and I'm a child molester.

I've heard of dirty politics but this is the lowest.

Putting myself aside for the moment, Frankie,

it's an even lousier break for you.

They're saying that too? That it's a tough break?

Well, sure, almost everybody in this town

lives with the big worry of scandal,

so when something like this hits,

everybody wonders what if it happened to him.

Hey!

You know somethin'?

This doesn't seem to grab you like I expected.

You don't seem to realize

we're hand-in-hand into the sewer together!

Frankie!

Now keep your mouth shut, and listen.

Nobody knows who broke this.

But who has reason to shaft me?

One of the other four nominees, right?

But which one?

So in sympathy, the Academy votes for me.

Pull one plug and I drown all the opposition.

Sweeps the boards against me.

I blew the whistle on myself.

You must be suffering from oxygen starvation!

I'm fighting for my life!

And I'll use a spiked boot on anybody who gets in my way.

Oh, Hymie, I was goin' down for the third time

when I got that nomination.

But you got a nomination!

Losers are a dime a dozen.

Who were the nominees last year?

Or the year before?

Can't remember, right?

Only get remembered when you win.

And I'm gonna win.

I need that Oscar, Hymie, more than anybody.

That Oscar can give me the kind of pictures

that can keep me from drowning.

I can't rig the votes,

but I can rig the emotions of the voters.

I'm not exactly Guy Kibble, world's most beloved actor,

so I had to find another way to reach them.

But if it goes wrong it could be suicide.

Not just the Oscar, but the whole town, completely snap!

I'm on the edge right now.

You think I like admitting this is where it ends?

You think I like putting my head on a block like this?

You don't care who else it smears, do you?

Can't make an omelet without breakin' eggs.

Ya lie down with pigs,

ya come up smellin' like garbage!

So now it's my turn, huh, Frankie?

One after another you finally get to all of us.

That's a custom made cashmere,

a lot better than the scuffed-around threads

you wore in the village.

Or have you forgotten New York already?

You've got me on the hook, haven't you, Frankie?

It's your hook!

Jump free whenever you want!

Now, call a press conference.

Wha--

How else will I get a big play when I confess?

Set it up in the Private Dining Room at Chasen's.

You start balkin',

I start cuttin' the hired help.

And you ain't got a union, baby.

No, but I've got a patron saint.

Saint Judas.

I just heard about it at the studio.

I'm sorry, truly sorry.

It was a terrible thing to do to you.

Here he comes!

Frankie, you gonna sue for libel, and for how much?

My paper checked Clinton records

and they do have you on the books down there

for prostitution and for procuring.

Yeah, how are you going to explain that, Frankie?

That's not easy to explain.

Quiet, boys, quiet!

Hold it down, please!

I explain it by telling you to go three days

without anything to eat.

By workin' the road for a handful of bucks

so you can get a bunk for the night.

Sure we were arrested.

We were short-changed by a crook,

and when we put up a beef,

we were booked on those charges,

but we were just trying to make a decent living.

In smokers with a stripper?

Yeah, Tiger.

With a stripper, in smokers.

Because that was all we knew how to do.

We were flat broke, we didn't have any skills,

so we made out the best way we could.

And we're about as guilty of those charges as you are.

And nobody's going to be asking the girl, Laurel Scott,

about it because she isn't here to defend herself.

She's dead.

Frankie, there's talk around town this was a smear tactic

by one of the other Oscar nominees

to put you out of the running.

I flatly reject the idea.

These are four of the most highly respected

members of our community.

I can't believe one of them would do such a thing.

Then who's behind it?

I don't know, probably some crank,

some very sick person.

Do you think this will hurt your chances for the Oscar?

Only the voters can answer that.

I can only tell you what is a lie and what is the truth.

I've always tried to level with you before,

and I'm leveling with you now.

I hope you believe me.

Frankie should have won the Oscar

right then and there for the performance he gave.

He set his scene and sold his case.

He wrapped up the package of being the maligned underdog

and every newspaper man left there believing it.

Didn't matter to Frankie that he had dug a girl

out of her grave to sell his point.

Frankie used them whether they were living or dead.

Frankie had stacked the deck,

and was ready for the hand to be played.

And the game at Regan's party was showdown.

It was Frankie's first public outing

since the press conference.

He was facing a black-tie jury of his peers.

The scene to be played: humble but proud.

Color it sincere.

Lights.

Camera.

Action.

Frankie, congratulations on your nomination!

Congratulations!

Good to see you!

Kay, how nice of you to come.

Edith is right over there at the bar.

Why don't you join her for a drink?

I will. Thank you very much.

Hi, Edith!

Thank you. Thank you very much.

I want to thank you for this party, Kenneth.

It isn't really necessary for me to listen

to this slice of humility, is it, Frankie?

You don't think my attitude toward you has changed, do you?

I still consider you one of the most despicable men

- I ever encountered. - Then why go to so much trouble

for a bitter enemy?

I'm not at all certain I can put it in terms you'd grasp.

Then tell it like a giant golden book.

I think I can cut it.

Well, it has to do with pride in craft, Frankie.

With identification and the industry.

I didn't know this was a testimonial dinner.

Easy enough to be flippant,

but I've been in the motion picture business

for 37 years,

and this smear that's being aimed at you,

it's throwing mud on the Academy Awards as well.

And despite your sneers, Fane,

the Oscars mean a great deal to me,

to many of us in the industry.

They're a symbol, we don't like to see them tarnished.

I find myself repelled and repulsed by you,

but you're getting a severely raw deal,

and this party is meant to say we won't stand for it.

I think my line is, "Thanks for nothing."

I'm sure you think that's your line.

Frankie, I've seen men back away from things this nasty.

It takes guts to stand up to it the way you're doing.

- Thank you. - My name is Pereira,

I'm in art direction. Just wanted to say hello.

Thank you very much, sir.

Welcome home. Nice party?

Oh, a very nice party, Sam.

Thank you.

What are you doing up?

I'm playing gin rummy with Hymie.

Knock with five points.

You lose.

Advertising campaign trouble

is very dull, very dry, but very important.

Got a few minutes to talk?

Well, then, good night.

See you in the morning, Bwana.

You like sleepin' too much to come out at this hour

just about the campaign.

It's the village locksmith,

he sounds like he wants to turn a key on you.

Barney Yale.

You'd better go see him.

How did you get in here?

Thought you understood I didn't want to see you again, ever.

Well, I'm sorry, Frankie, but a situation came up.

I thought you'd better talk about it.

You picked some dumb stupid time to want to chew the fat.

Our deal was I wouldn't tell

who hired me to dig into your past.

I'm not goin' back on that.

But a couple of public relations guys

called to feel me out.

They work for two of the other nominees.

They wanted to know how much it would cost for me

to let the newspapers know that it wasn't their clients

who hired me.

This is starting to smell, Yale.

Put a little chlorophyll in the conversation.

Listen, Frankie, this could mean as much as twenty grand.

There are four other nominees.

I need that money, Frankie.

With the divorce and all, I can use it.

Now you win that Oscar, you stand to make millions.

Why shouldn't I get a few bucks?

It only seems fair.

You know I got a good reputation in this town,

everybody knows I can be trusted,

I don't reveal a client.

I'm not tellin' who hired me, just who didn't.

Ah, but just to stay tight with you, Frankie,

I'd settle for fifteen grand.

Now, I'm voluntarily cuttin' myself out of five big ones.

Barney, I hope you're gonna believe this

because it's the truth.

I haven't got it.

Look, I don't care if you think I'm dumb,

but just don't talk me dumb.

Frankie, you live in a Bel Air mansion,

this is 65 feet of yacht,

and you drive around in those cars...

All in hock, up to the ears. I haven't got a dime.

I come up empty, empty!

Now, this ain't right, Frankie.

I didn't have to come up here to offer you this chance.

The least you can do is deal me straight!

Now, look, 15 grand to you is like a drop in the bucket.

I know how you guys live, that's walkin'-around money.

What the hell's the matter with you, Barney?

Are you deaf? I said I haven't got it!

Stop shuckin' me, Fane.

I want that 15 or I tell those PR guys

I'm takin' 'em up on their offer.

Now the ballots are in the mail.

In a few days they'll have voted.

My word won't be worth a dollar.

You got 48 hours.

That's what they gave me. That's what I'm givin' you.

Don't threaten me, Yale.

I can't afford to let you do me out of that money.

I expected better from a guy like you.

I figured you'd treat me square.

You must be nuts!

You blackmail me!

And you're insulted I don't want to pay.

You got 48 hours.

Don't waste a minute of it.

Please.

Out of town? Where out of town?

Well, what's he doing in Baltimore?

- Where in Baltimore? - Benzie? Hymie.

Listen, I'm trying to locate a chick named Trina Yale.

She used to me married to-- yeah, right, that's the one.

Have him call me the minute he gets in, understand?

- The minute he gets in! - Okay, do it!

Listen, I'll make it up to you, just call me back!

Kappy's housekeeper says he's in Baltimore,

won't be back until morning.

He say anything to you about going to Baltimore?

Uh-uh. Benzie's gonna check the independent's extra list,

but he doesn't think Trina Yale's in it.

He thinks she's listed with Central Casting.

When I need him, what's he doing in Baltimore?

Look, there's nothing else I can do tonight.

First thing in the morning I'll call every agent in town,

all the studio casting departments,

see if anybody can put a trace on her.

I'll find her, Frankie.

There's no time, Hymie. Don't you understand?

No time!

The nutcracker closes, chomp, we're outta business.

Take it easy.

It's not gonna help if you get a thrombo.

Go home, get some sleep!

There's nothing else you can do tonight.

I told you, you lie down with pigs,

you come up smellin' like garbage!

Eh!

Phone call for you, Bwana.

Kappy.

Kappy, where the hell have you been?

Why didn't you stay in touch?

I need $15,000, I need it now.

I'm really desperate.

Don't move, I'll be right over.

Thanks, Kappy.

You don't know how much.

That's--that's not the money, Frankie.

That's your agency release.

I'm no longer your agent.

One of us is losing his mind. What are you trying to do to me?

Like the snake that sheds his skin, Frankie Fane,

I'm getting rid of you.

What are you talking about, Kappy?

I'm the hottest now I've ever been.

Now I'll start getting what I'm worth,

the real big money.

I'm gonna win that Oscar!

Perhaps you will.

But do you want me to tell you why you won that nomination?

Because you played the role of a man without morals,

a man without ethics or decency.

You played the part of you, yourself, Frankie Fane.

What you really are.

That's why you have your release, Frankie.

I have no more time left for you.

No more time to let you hurt me and degrade me and use me.

Have you ever seen a moth smashed against a window?

Leaves the dust of its wings.

You're like that, Frankie.

You leave a powder of dirt everywhere you touch.

I'm no different from anybody else in this damn town.

Oh, oh, that's not true, Frankie, that's not true.

Oh, if it becomes a matter of life or death,

we have no other choice then we hurt others,

but reluctantly.

I suppose you were an unpleasant child,

even more unpleasant young man.

Now you're a vicious, bitter adult.

I don't feel pity for you.

I don't need your pity!

But you need my money.

Let me have $15,000, Kappy.

Stinkin' creep!

Hey, the sun is warm today.

Miserable flesh peddler!

I think I'll take a nice rock steam bath.

Drop dead, damn you!

No agent in town handles her.

Studio casting offices haven't used her in years.

My chick at the Extras Guild never heard of Trina Yale.

Either she couldn't afford a listing

in the Players Directory,

or she never made it out of the extras league.

The only thing I could do was leave a message

with Central Casting.

She's gotta check in there if she's out hustling work,

otherwise we're stopped.

Nothing.

Well, you started it, Frankie.

What do you expect?

I know, I know. Your favorite dumb line:

Lie down with pigs, get up smellin' like garbage.

Well, can't you reason with Yale?

Sure I can reason with him,

but it will take 15,000 green reasons.

You tell me where I'm gonna dig up that much logic.

Oh, damn, I'm scared.

Hymie, you're the one guy who can understand. I'm scared.

If there was anything I could do, I would do it,

I would, Frankie, I would.

We've got to stop him, we've got to.

Hymie, help me.

Help me, Hymie.

Frankie, don't!

Hymie, I'm scared.

I'm scared out of my mind.

You're the one guy who can understand why.

You were with me way back when it all started.

We're gonna lose everything.

Frankie!

After all those years,

after everything we've been through.

Oh, help me, Hymie.

You're my friend.

He waited till we were locked in,

till we had nowhere to go if he pulled a thing like this.

I'd like to see him dead.

I'd like to see his grinning kisser pounded to jelly,

break his arms, bust him up good.

We can't let him roll over us like this.

Hymie, we've got to stop him, we've got to do it!

Frankie, you don't know what you're talking about!

We can stop him.

We can stop the bastard.

We get some guys to do it. You know some guys.

Frankie, you don't know what you're sayin'!

Hymie, it's gotta be like that. Don't ya see, it's him or us.

You said you wanted to help. All the years we been together.

Well, now it comes down to it:

In for a penny is in for a pound.

Don't back out on me, Hymie. I've got no one else to turn to.

Frankie, you're not making any sense!

Otherwise we lose everything! Where do we go from here?

Where do you go? What does he matter to us?

You're movin' too fast. Let me think, let me think!

There's no time to think. There's no time to think.

Hymie, it's just the two of us, you and me.

We trust each other, Hymie.

I don't know, Frankie, I don't know.

Oh, Hymie, don't cop out on me now.

- We've got to stop Yale! - I don't know, Frankie.

Do it, Hymie, do it!

- Do it! - No, damn it, Frankie!

No, I said no!

Hymie! Hymie!

Hymie, help me!

Bwana, who stomped you?

Shut up.

Get me a drink.

There was a phone call for you, a Miss Brightly.

Who?

Trina Brightly's my show biz name.

They put two and two together in Central Casting.

Only one other Trina's registered.

We had such a good time in Tijuana,

I thought we'd pick it up from here.

Figured we'd get hammered together

and wrestle around on the couch for a while?

How about that?

So, Barney pulled the plug on you, huh?

I don't know what you mean.

Okay, we'll play it like I'm the jerk you think I am.

Tell me a little story.

All right, you know the story, it's been in all the papers.

Your ex sprang a rotten lie on me

and got me clobbered for the Oscar.

Now he's got something else that's an even bigger lie

and he's threatenin' to open it up if I don't pay off.

Finished with the fairy tales?

Fairy tales?

I'm tryin' to tell you your pal Barney is crucifyin' me.

You're a beautiful liar.

Don't forget I lived with Barney.

Oh, you're not the first one.

Sure, Barney never reveals his clients.

If he did he'd be killing the goose

that lays his golden rotten eggs.

Because when Barney pulls off a job

that's "under the counter,"

he waits until it's all done.

Then he springs for more loot.

So, they pay off.

Barney never has to reveal a client.

Now, when I saw it in the papers about you,

I figured like everybody else

it might be any one of the other four nominees

who hired Barney.

But now that your curly little head shows up here

and you say that Barney's springing on you too,

I get a hot flash that, maybe,

now just maybe, you are the client.

Uh, I, uh...

You look so silly with your mouth wide open, sweetness,

I haven't got the heart to turn you down.

Save the booze, let's talk business.

Inside that chorus girl head, you've got a guillotine.

Inside that chorus girl head, I've got a lot of sad.

I, ah, married Barney

because he said he'd get me in pictures.

But all I got was Barney, and I'm still an extra.

Now, I don't trust you any more than I do Barney.

On the other hand, what have I got to lose?

There's nobody breaking down my door to make me a star.

If you win that Oscar,

you're going to be a very important man

in this town.

I scratch your back, you scratch mine.

You can call your shots with me, Trina.

Anything you say.

Barney has six safety deposit boxes,

six different names.

All the shakedown money he's made,

and there is a pile, baby,

none of which he's reported

to the Internal Revenue Department.

I learned about this scam a long time ago.

Barney didn't know.

I was saving it for a rainy day.

How's the weather, Lover?

First of all, there's Chester Tumwater.

Chester Tumwater.

You made your point.

Ya know, Frankie.

No wonder you're gonna win that Oscar.

You've got to with a mind like yours.

It'd be a travesty of justice if you didn't.

Where's my lord and master?

In having dinner.

Hey, seen the newspaper polls?

They're pickin' me to win.

You're no man.

You're some kind of poison.

You're lushed.

Hymie, let Sam take you inside to lie down for a few minutes.

Tell me, old buddy, what happened?

No, wait a minute, let me guess.

Let me see, you got two side boys from Kansas City

to dump old Barney Yale in a cement mixer

and he's currently a mile and a half of new freeway

-in Pasadena. - What the hell's

your story, Hymie?

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with me?

You're wrong with me!

And for one split second I almost went for it.

I almost went for it all the way,

ready to cream Barney Yale!

I never said anything about creamin' Barney Yale.

Birdseed, Daddy! That's exactly what you said!

You wanted him dead, you wanted him killed,

you wanted him murdered.

And for one tiny moment I almost went for it.

What is he talking about, Frankie?

He's smashed! He's out of his mind.

Yeah, I been out of my mind all the years I been followin'

behind you, walkin' the same mud holes you do.

I think I better throw you out of here

and let you dry out on the front lawn!

You're not gonna have to throw me out.

I'm gonna walk. But first you're gonna listen

because I've got somethin' to square away.

Everything you did for me in exchange for Laurel.

What the hell has Laurel got to do with this?

I married her, remember?

She was what you call a wife.

She was also what you call a mother...

-almost a mother. - Stop talkin' around it!

If you got something on your weak mind,

spit it out.

She died on the table, ya bastard!

She died under the knife, she miscarried.

What's that got to do with me?

It was your baby!

- Oh, I'm sorry. - Yeah, you're sorry.

You're so sorry you pull her out of the grave

and made her a whore in every newspaper in the world.

So don't say you're sorry, or so help me,

I swear I'll tear your throat out!

You know what I did when I ran out this morning, Frankie?

I ran and I ran and I didn't even know where I was going.

And after a while my face grew cold

and I started ballin'.

You know what I was cryin' for, Frankie?

For all the years that I haven't been me.

For all the years that I've been sittin'

like an extra nose on your face.

What happened to me? When did I die?

When did I get buried inside you?

I'm so much a part of you, Frankie,

that when I shave in the morning

I see your face in the mirror.

I ran, Frankie, I ran into an alley.

Down at the end of it I fell behind some crates.

I don't know for how long,

but I was just twitchin' just like a spastic.

I couldn't stop.

Frankie, I'm nothing but a parasite.

I've never had the guts to tear myself away from you.

I've let you castrate me inch by inch.

I'm weak! I'm a leech!

He's the one who hired Barney Yale!

You shut up, Hymie!

I don't want to have to bust you up!

Don't listen to that drunk. He's talkin' out of a bottle.

He doesn't know what he's saying.

If there’s one thing that somebody can learn

from a guy like you, Frankie,

it's what I've learned:

Don't be afraid to fight dirty.

Look at you, Frankie.

Look at what's left of you.

There isn't even enough to feel sorry for.

And now I know there isn't enough to love.

How could I think there was hope for us,

or anything between us?

Maybe it takes a terrible thing like this tonight,

this senseless evil.

Do you at least know that's what it is, Frankie, do you?

Maybe it takes something this strong

to cure a woman like me.

Whatever there was between us, Frankie,

you could never call it love,

because to love means to commit yourself and to belong.

And you never belonged to anybody but yourself, Frankie!

And when you don't belong, nothing belongs to you.

So you may have your Oscar, and you may have everything,

and you'll have nothing.

Hymie, please, I--

please take me out of here.

Just anywhere, please?

Bye, Frankie.

And I do hope the Oscar keeps you warm on cold nights.

Go on and run.

Who the hell needs you!

Too stupid to understand.

This damn town wasn't tryin' to pull your guts out.

Nobody was trying to shove you into a sewer.

Look around, go ahead, look around!

How does anybody win?

Oh, you're too stupid to know that.

I'm going to win, and that's what counts.

I'm gonna win!

Go on and run, you freeloaders.

Go on, run.

Who needs ya! Who needs ya!

Freeloaders.

Freeloaders!

And you!

You too, ya creep!

What are you lookin' at?

I suppose you want out too.

Well go on, get the hell outta here.

Pack your stuff and split!

Go on.

Go!

The award for the Best Actor of the Year

will be presented by the elegant and beautiful

Miss Merle Oberon.

The nominees for the Best Actor Award

are Richard Burton, "Grapes in Winter,"

Paramount Pictures;

Burt Lancaster, "The Spanish Armada,"

United Artists;

Frank Fane, "Breakthrough," Galaxy Pictures.

So here you sit, Frankie,

on top of the glass mountain where you wanted to be,

looking down at the rest of us.

I hate to admit it but you proved your point.

It looks like it is the only way to climb that high.

The envelope, please.

Thank you.

And the winner is...

Frank Sinatra!

Thank you.

Thank you very much.