Original subtitles

♪ Oh-oh ♪ ♪ Oh-oh, oh ♪

♪ Let's go ♪

♪ It's my favorite time of year,

and now it's here ♪

♪ Lot of love goin' around,

it's in the air ♪

♪ Oh, have my baby

wrap me up next to the fire ♪

♪ Open presents, watch their

faces as they light up ♪

♪ If you love Christmas

just as much as I do ♪

♪ Put your hands

in the air and say ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Oooh, ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ It's my favorite time

of year ♪

♪ It's my favorite time

of year ♪

Hello?

Come on, guys.

You promised you'd be ready.

Plus I promised

that we would help out

on the Santa photo line.

And I want you guys to take a

photo with Santa.

Mom, we're not kids anymore.

Oh, honey,

I know you're not kids anymore.

Mwah!

Where's your sister?

Mom.

What?

I'm a bit too old to be

taking a picture with Santa.

Oh, boy.

Especially that raggedy one

at the children's home.

Be nice.

You know I know Santa's not

real, right?

Yes, I do know this, Chloe.

Chloe, everyone knows that,

silly.

It's called tradition.

Speaking of that, who do you want on our Christmas cards? And besides, it's always good to

want on our Christmas cards? And besides, it's always good to help out the less-fortunate

And besides, it's always good to help out the less-fortunate kids, right, Mom?

help out the less-fortunate kids, right, Mom? You're right, honey.

kids, right, Mom? You're right, honey. I'm proud of you.

You're right, honey. I'm proud of you. Okay, Mr. Maturity.

I'm proud of you. Okay, Mr. Maturity. But when we get to the home,

Okay, Mr. Maturity. But when we get to the home, you're the one sitting on

But when we get to the home, you're the one sitting on Santa's lap.

you're the one sitting on Santa's lap. Oh, Mom, can I bring one of

Santa's lap. Oh, Mom, can I bring one of my robots?

Oh, Mom, can I bring one of my robots? No, honey.

my robots? No, honey. They're expensive, and I

No, honey. They're expensive, and I wouldn't want you to lose them.

They're expensive, and I wouldn't want you to lose them. I know how much they mean

wouldn't want you to lose them. I know how much they mean to you.

I know how much they mean to you. Come on, let's go.

to you. Come on, let's go. All right,

Come on, let's go. All right, Santa's little helpers!

All right, Santa's little helpers! We out!

Ray! Hey, what's up, man? It's Darbs.

Hey, what's up, man? It's Darbs.

Ain't nothing, man.

Ain't nothing, man. I'm just at the house chilling.

Ain't nothing, man. I'm just at the house chilling. How's the family?

I'm just at the house chilling. How's the family? Good, good.

How's the family? Good, good. Hey, listen, man,

Good, good. Hey, listen, man, you got a second to talk?

Hey, listen, man, you got a second to talk? Oh, yeah. No, no, no. I know.

you got a second to talk? Oh, yeah. No, no, no. I know. It's Christmas time, man.

Oh, yeah. No, no, no. I know. It's Christmas time, man. I get it.

It's Christmas time, man. I get it. Okay.

I get it. Okay. Of course.

Okay. Of course. Okay, cool.

Of course. Okay, cool. Yeah, all right.

Okay, cool. Yeah, all right. I'll hit you after the holiday.

Yeah, all right. I'll hit you after the holiday. All right, man.

I'll hit you after the holiday. All right, man. All right. Merry Christmas.

All right, man. All right. Merry Christmas. Peace.

All right. Merry Christmas. Peace.

Peace.

What did he say?

What did he say? He said hit him after the

What did he say? He said hit him after the holidays.

He said hit him after the holidays. Knew I shouldn't have called

holidays. Knew I shouldn't have called him, man.

Knew I shouldn't have called him, man. I told you that was a weak move.

him, man. I told you that was a weak move. Come on, man.

I told you that was a weak move. Come on, man. Ray Lewis is the coolest in and

Come on, man. Ray Lewis is the coolest in and out of the League.

Ray Lewis is the coolest in and out of the League. Look, I'm sure Big Ray can get

out of the League. Look, I'm sure Big Ray can get you a job doing a commentating

Look, I'm sure Big Ray can get you a job doing a commentating gig or something.

you a job doing a commentating gig or something. Yeah, no, I know he can help.

gig or something. Yeah, no, I know he can help. I just...

Yeah, no, I know he can help. I just... I don't feel right running to

I just... I don't feel right running to another man to bail me out of my

I don't feel right running to another man to bail me out of my problems, you know?

another man to bail me out of my problems, you know? I know my pop definitely

problems, you know? I know my pop definitely wouldn't respect

I know my pop definitely wouldn't respect that kind of move.

wouldn't respect that kind of move. Mm...

that kind of move. Mm... I don't know.

Mm... I don't know. I think Uncle Russell would

I don't know. I think Uncle Russell would understand.

I think Uncle Russell would understand. 'Cause, see, here's the thing --

understand. 'Cause, see, here's the thing -- once the League sees that

'Cause, see, here's the thing -- once the League sees that you are 100%, oh,

once the League sees that you are 100%, oh, them fools is gonna be fighting

you are 100%, oh, them fools is gonna be fighting to get you on they team.

them fools is gonna be fighting to get you on they team. Trust me.

to get you on they team. Trust me. Alec Darby, 100%,

Trust me. Alec Darby, 100%, hitting the field?

Alec Darby, 100%, hitting the field? What?!

hitting the field? What?! Hop out there with the,

What?! Hop out there with the, "Unh, unh!"

Hop out there with the, "Unh, unh!" Okay.

"Unh, unh!" Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. All right, all right, all right.

Okay. Okay. All right, all right, all right. Now, take off that big-ass

All right, all right, all right. Now, take off that big-ass chain so we can get

Now, take off that big-ass chain so we can get this workout in.

chain so we can get this workout in. Man, please.

this workout in. Man, please. You wish you could afford

Man, please. You wish you could afford something this nice, brother.

You wish you could afford something this nice, brother. And you do, too.

something this nice, brother. And you do, too. Oh, I see.

And you do, too. Oh, I see.

Oh, I see.

You woke up with

You woke up with jokes today, okay.

You woke up with jokes today, okay. I'm just messing with you.

jokes today, okay. I'm just messing with you. All right.

I'm just messing with you. All right. I'm messing with you, man.

All right. I'm messing with you, man. Well, we gonna see.

I'm messing with you, man. Well, we gonna see. Huh? Huh?

Well, we gonna see. Huh? Huh? We gonna see what

Huh? Huh? We gonna see what kind of jokes you got

We gonna see what kind of jokes you got on this bench press.

kind of jokes you got on this bench press.

So, what do you want for

So, what do you want for Christmas?

So, what do you want for Christmas? You're real tall.

Christmas? You're real tall. You're smart.

You're real tall. You're smart. But what do you want

You're smart. But what do you want for Christmas?

But what do you want for Christmas? Did you play basketball

for Christmas? Did you play basketball or something?

Did you play basketball or something? No, I play Santa Claus.

or something? No, I play Santa Claus. All right, smart girl?

No, I play Santa Claus. All right, smart girl? What do you want for Christmas?

All right, smart girl? What do you want for Christmas? That's how this goes.

What do you want for Christmas? That's how this goes. A puppy. Get me a puppy.

That's how this goes. A puppy. Get me a puppy. Do you know how much

A puppy. Get me a puppy. Do you know how much puppies cost?

Do you know how much puppies cost? Huh?

puppies cost? Huh? I don't know. No.

Huh? I don't know. No. No?

I don't know. No. No? I don't care.

No? I don't care. Ma'am, can you come

I don't care. Ma'am, can you come get your kid?

Ma'am, can you come get your kid? 'Scuse you!

get your kid? 'Scuse you! Yeah, that's right.

'Scuse you! Yeah, that's right. You get a bag of rocks.

Yeah, that's right. You get a bag of rocks. That's what you get.

You get a bag of rocks. That's what you get. Whoa! Big fella, what's up?

That's what you get. Whoa! Big fella, what's up? What do you want? A car?

Whoa! Big fella, what's up? What do you want? A car? Huh?

What do you want? A car? Huh? You -- you're driving, right?

Thank you, sweetheart. All right, listen. You guys make sure that

All right, listen. You guys make sure that you're -- Hey! How are you?

You guys make sure that you're -- Hey! How are you? ...that you're on your best

you're -- Hey! How are you? ...that you're on your best behavior, please, okay?

...that you're on your best behavior, please, okay? Okay.

behavior, please, okay? Okay. Oh, it looks good in here.

Okay. Oh, it looks good in here. Miss Morris!

Oh, it looks good in here. Miss Morris! Yeah?

Miss Morris! Yeah? Where have you been?!

Yeah? Where have you been?! I know, I'm late.

Where have you been?! I know, I'm late. The kids were moving slow today.

I know, I'm late. The kids were moving slow today. No, no, no, no, no.

The kids were moving slow today. No, no, no, no, no. These kids.

No, no, no, no, no. These kids. These kids are bad.

These kids. These kids are bad. Okay. Marcus --

These kids are bad. Okay. Marcus -- They're bad.

Okay. Marcus -- They're bad. Marcus, come over here.

They're bad. Marcus, come over here.

Marcus, come over here.

Talk to me.

Talk to me. What's going on?

Talk to me. What's going on? Miss Morris, kids are biting

What's going on? Miss Morris, kids are biting me, and the kids are big.

Miss Morris, kids are biting me, and the kids are big. They're so big.

me, and the kids are big. They're so big. They are big.

They're so big. They are big. Yes.

They are big. Yes. There's a lot of

Yes. There's a lot of hormones in our food.

There's a lot of hormones in our food. They don't need toys,

hormones in our food. They don't need toys, they need jobs.

They don't need toys, they need jobs. That's what they need.

they need jobs. That's what they need. Okay.

That's what they need. Okay. But listen to me.

Okay. But listen to me.

But listen to me.

These kids need you

These kids need you more than most.

These kids need you more than most. Please?

more than most. Please? Okay?

Please? Okay? For you.

Okay? For you. I'm only doing this for you.

For you. I'm only doing this for you. I know.

I'm only doing this for you. I know. You look very handsome, though.

I know. You look very handsome, though. I like you in red.

You look very handsome, though. I like you in red. Thank you.

I like you in red. Thank you. You're welcome.

Thank you. You're welcome. Did we miss the memo for the

You're welcome. Did we miss the memo for the Christmas-sweater contest?

Did we miss the memo for the Christmas-sweater contest? No, but I came prepared.

Christmas-sweater contest? No, but I came prepared. Really?

No, but I came prepared. Really? Where'd you get that sweater?

Really? Where'd you get that sweater? Oh, it was Dad's.

Where'd you get that sweater? Oh, it was Dad's. I figured, since he couldn't be

Oh, it was Dad's. I figured, since he couldn't be here in person, that he could be

I figured, since he couldn't be here in person, that he could be here in sweater.

here in person, that he could be here in sweater. You know what?

here in sweater. You know what? I do remember that sweater.

You know what? I do remember that sweater. He wore it, and it ended up

I do remember that sweater. He wore it, and it ended up front and center on one of our

He wore it, and it ended up front and center on one of our Christmas cards.

front and center on one of our Christmas cards.

Christmas cards.

Yeah, he loved it.

Yeah, he loved it. Why are you guys talking

Yeah, he loved it. Why are you guys talking about Dad like he's dead?

Why are you guys talking about Dad like he's dead? I mean, you could've asked him

about Dad like he's dead? I mean, you could've asked him to come, Mom.

I mean, you could've asked him to come, Mom. You know, let's see who needs

to come, Mom. You know, let's see who needs our help, all right?

You know, let's see who needs our help, all right? That's why we're here.

Hi. Hey. Could I get the brisket platter?

Hey. Could I get the brisket platter? Uh, mashed potatoes,

Could I get the brisket platter? Uh, mashed potatoes, side of onion rings, and --

Uh, mashed potatoes, side of onion rings, and -- Uh, we're gonna have two

side of onion rings, and -- Uh, we're gonna have two hot dogs and a couple of

Uh, we're gonna have two hot dogs and a couple of root beers.

hot dogs and a couple of root beers. Thank you, baby.

root beers. Thank you, baby. A hot dog?

Thank you, baby. A hot dog? When you ever seen me

A hot dog? When you ever seen me eat a hot dog?

When you ever seen me eat a hot dog? That's what got you in

eat a hot dog? That's what got you in trouble in the first place.

That's what got you in trouble in the first place. What, eating?

trouble in the first place. What, eating? Spending.

What, eating? Spending. Hank, we're at a deli.

Spending. Hank, we're at a deli. And it's cheap.

Hank, we're at a deli. And it's cheap. Alec.

And it's cheap. Alec. 80% of all football players go

Alec. 80% of all football players go broke three years after they

80% of all football players go broke three years after they leave the League.

broke three years after they leave the League. How long did it take yo--

leave the League. How long did it take yo-- How long did it take you?

How long did it take yo-- How long did it take you? A year.

How long did it take you? A year. I said, "Alec, watch your

A year. I said, "Alec, watch your spending.

I said, "Alec, watch your spending. Alec, invest your money.

spending. Alec, invest your money. Alec, what happens

Alec, invest your money. Alec, what happens if you get injured?"

Alec, what happens if you get injured?"

if you get injured?"

And what happened?

And what happened? Alec got injured.

And what happened? Alec got injured. Yeah, but it wasn't a

Alec got injured. Yeah, but it wasn't a career-ending injury.

Yeah, but it wasn't a career-ending injury. Yeah, but you have a ca--

Thank you.

You have a career-ending mouth. So here we are.

mouth. So here we are. Okay. Okay, so I'll cut back.

So here we are. Okay. Okay, so I'll cut back. Yeah, you will.

Okay. Okay, so I'll cut back. Yeah, you will. First you're gonna let go of

Yeah, you will. First you're gonna let go of your -- your shopper, your chef,

First you're gonna let go of your -- your shopper, your chef, your trainer, your driver --

your -- your shopper, your chef, your trainer, your driver -- Hey, hey. Wait.

your trainer, your driver -- Hey, hey. Wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hey, hey. Wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Can't I at least keep the

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Can't I at least keep the trainer?

Can't I at least keep the trainer? And the driver?

trainer? And the driver? 'Cause I got to stay fit, right?

And the driver? 'Cause I got to stay fit, right? And New York traffic gives me

'Cause I got to stay fit, right? And New York traffic gives me anxiety, so I ain't driving.

And New York traffic gives me anxiety, so I ain't driving. [ Babbles in baby talk ]

anxiety, so I ain't driving. [ Babbles in baby talk ] No.

[ Babbles in baby talk ] No. Mmm. That's good.

No. Mmm. That's good. All right, look.

Mmm. That's good. All right, look. It don't matter, anyway.

All right, look. It don't matter, anyway. 'Cause I'm about to

It don't matter, anyway. 'Cause I'm about to get a new contract.

'Cause I'm about to get a new contract. Okay.

get a new contract. Okay. All you got to do

Okay. All you got to do is just make some more calls.

All you got to do is just make some more calls. All I got to do

is just make some more calls. All I got to do is make some calls.

All I got to do is make some calls. Yeah.

is make some calls. Yeah. I'm telling you, man,

Yeah. I'm telling you, man, your boy's still got it.

I'm telling you, man, your boy's still got it. Knee's 100%.

your boy's still got it. Knee's 100%. All you got to do is just let

Knee's 100%. All you got to do is just let them know I'm ready, willing,

All you got to do is just let them know I'm ready, willing, and able to play ball.

them know I'm ready, willing, and able to play ball. Can I use your phone

and able to play ball. Can I use your phone real quick?

Can I use your phone real quick? Yeah.

real quick? Yeah. But your phone's right there.

Yeah. But your phone's right there. Let's just -- Let's just see.

But your phone's right there. Let's just -- Let's just see. So, we can't call CBS 'cause you

Let's just -- Let's just see. So, we can't call CBS 'cause you cussed them out.

So, we can't call CBS 'cause you cussed them out. We can't call CNN, because --

cussed them out. We can't call CNN, because -- heh -- you cussed them out.

We can't call CNN, because -- heh -- you cussed them out. We can't call that team, because

heh -- you cussed them out. We can't call that team, because they just don't like you.

We can't call that team, because they just don't like you. Okay.

they just don't like you. Okay. All right. I get it, man.

Okay. All right. I get it, man. That's what I thought.

All right. I get it, man. That's what I thought. Eat your hot dog.

That's what I thought. Eat your hot dog. I don't want this damn

Eat your hot dog. I don't want this damn hot dog no more.

I don't want this damn hot dog no more.

hot dog no more.

You ain't getting nothing else.

You ain't getting nothing else. You better eat it.

We are all set. Merry Christmas.

Hey, Miss Madison. How many millions we pull in today?

How many millions we pull in today? Millions?

we pull in today? Millions? You're funny, Mr. Cannon.

Millions? You're funny, Mr. Cannon. Maybe at least we can get

You're funny, Mr. Cannon. Maybe at least we can get some hundreds, huh?

Maybe at least we can get some hundreds, huh? Well, I mean, you know,

some hundreds, huh? Well, I mean, you know, Mr. Cannon, it's still early

Well, I mean, you know, Mr. Cannon, it's still early in the holiday season,

Mr. Cannon, it's still early in the holiday season, so I think we'll catch up.

in the holiday season, so I think we'll catch up. Yeah.

so I think we'll catch up. Yeah. Maybe.

Yeah. Maybe. I mean, if we go at high volume

Maybe. I mean, if we go at high volume for the next couple of months...

I mean, if we go at high volume for the next couple of months...

for the next couple of months...

I don't know.

I don't know. I don't think we can do it.

I don't know. I don't think we can do it. I just don't think so.

I don't think we can do it. I just don't think so.

I just don't think so.

Mr. Cannon,

Mr. Cannon, are you all right?

Mr. Cannon, are you all right? Uh, no. No, I'm n--

are you all right? Uh, no. No, I'm n-- I'm not. I'm not all right.

Uh, no. No, I'm n-- I'm not. I'm not all right. Um...

I'm not. I'm not all right. Um... Uh, Madison, I got

Um... Uh, Madison, I got something to tell you.

Uh, Madison, I got something to tell you. And, um...

something to tell you. And, um... I-I, uh...

And, um... I-I, uh... I'm-a just go ahead and say it,

I-I, uh... I'm-a just go ahead and say it, okay?

I'm-a just go ahead and say it, okay? Um...

okay? Um...

Um...

You fired.

You fired.

You fired.

Oh, Mister --

Oh, Mister -- Oh, Mr. Cannon, you're funny.

Oh, Mister -- Oh, Mr. Cannon, you're funny. Uh, no, no, no.

Oh, Mr. Cannon, you're funny. Uh, no, no, no. I'm funny, but you fired.

Uh, no, no, no. I'm funny, but you fired. Ye-yeah, sweetheart.

I'm funny, but you fired. Ye-yeah, sweetheart. Yeah, you -- you fired.

Ye-yeah, sweetheart. Yeah, you -- you fired. But -- but -- but no hard

Yeah, you -- you fired. But -- but -- but no hard feelings or nothing.

But -- but -- but no hard feelings or nothing. I mean, it's not just you.

feelings or nothing. I mean, it's not just you. We all fired.

I mean, it's not just you. We all fired. I'm fired.

We all fired. I'm fired. The -- the books is fired.

I'm fired. The -- the books is fired. Toni Morris, Alex Haley --

The -- the books is fired. Toni Morris, Alex Haley -- all fired.

Toni Morris, Alex Haley -- all fired. I-I'm closing this little shop

all fired. I-I'm closing this little shop down.

I-I'm closing this little shop down. What? Why?

down. What? Why? It's the doggone Internet.

What? Why? It's the doggone Internet. Everybody's going to the

It's the doggone Internet. Everybody's going to the Internet for everything.

Everybody's going to the Internet for everything. Shoot, I even go there

Internet for everything. Shoot, I even go there for my ladies.

Shoot, I even go there for my ladies. I go o-on Tinder, on the

for my ladies. I go o-on Tinder, on the dot-net, and I click, and then

I go o-on Tinder, on the dot-net, and I click, and then she just show --

dot-net, and I click, and then she just show -- O-Okay.

she just show -- O-Okay. She just show up.

O-Okay. She just show up. Yeah, Mr. Cannon, I

She just show up. Yeah, Mr. Cannon, I understand that, but...

Yeah, Mr. Cannon, I understand that, but... your place, this place, it has

understand that, but... your place, this place, it has charm and -- and character.

your place, this place, it has charm and -- and character. Charm and character don't pay

charm and -- and character. Charm and character don't pay the bills, okay?

Charm and character don't pay the bills, okay? Now, we love this place,

the bills, okay? Now, we love this place, but look at the damn

Now, we love this place, but look at the damn spider webs.

but look at the damn spider webs. Ain't no spider webs on the

spider webs. Ain't no spider webs on the Internet, Madison.

Look, come the top of the year, I'm moving with my son and his family in Phoenix.

I'm moving with my son and his family in Phoenix. They got a room for me

family in Phoenix. They got a room for me and everything.

They got a room for me and everything.

and everything.

I'm-a be like a old granddaddy.

I'm-a be like a old granddaddy. That's nice.

I'm-a be like a old granddaddy. That's nice. That's nice, Mr. Cannon.

That's nice. That's nice, Mr. Cannon. Yeah.

That's nice, Mr. Cannon. Yeah. Well, hey, no long faces.

Yeah. Well, hey, no long faces. You understand?

Well, hey, no long faces. You understand? 'Cause -- 'cause you a top-notch

You understand? 'Cause -- 'cause you a top-notch employee.

'Cause -- 'cause you a top-notch employee. And -- and I'm not gonna let you

employee. And -- and I'm not gonna let you walk out of here empty-handed,

And -- and I'm not gonna let you walk out of here empty-handed, you understand?

walk out of here empty-handed, you understand? So -- so, uh, I was thinking

you understand? So -- so, uh, I was thinking last night -- hear me out --

So -- so, uh, I was thinking last night -- hear me out -- severance pay.

last night -- hear me out -- severance pay. What?

severance pay. What? Yes! Severance pay.

What? Yes! Severance pay.

Yes! Severance pay.

You stay right there.

You stay right there. I'm gonna -- I'm gonna get it.

You stay right there. I'm gonna -- I'm gonna get it. Severance pay.

I'm gonna -- I'm gonna get it. Severance pay. I was thinking about this

Severance pay. I was thinking about this all last night.

I was thinking about this all last night. All right.

all last night. All right. "What can I do

All right. "What can I do for Miss Madison to

"What can I do for Miss Madison to let her know how I feel?

for Miss Madison to let her know how I feel? A token?"

let her know how I feel? A token?" You ain't got to be here one

A token?" You ain't got to be here one more second.

You ain't got to be here one more second. I'm-a grab your coat.

more second. I'm-a grab your coat. You ain't even got to come back

I'm-a grab your coat. You ain't even got to come back here and get it.

You ain't even got to come back here and get it.

here and get it.

You know what I'm saying?

You know what I'm saying? I got it. Whoa!

You know what I'm saying? I got it. Whoa!

I got it. Whoa!

Oh, man!

Oh, man! I'm -- I'm sorry, sweetie.

Oh, man! I'm -- I'm sorry, sweetie. I tore your coat a little bit.

I'm -- I'm sorry, sweetie. I tore your coat a little bit. Yeah. Go ahead.

I tore your coat a little bit. Yeah. Go ahead. I know. I know.

Yeah. Go ahead. I know. I know. Here. Take that.

I know. I know. Here. Take that. Go on, ball your hand.

Here. Take that. Go on, ball your hand. Give me your hand.

Go on, ball your hand. Give me your hand. Hold that, you understand me?

Give me your hand. Hold that, you understand me? 'Cause that ain't nothing but

Hold that, you understand me? 'Cause that ain't nothing but the Lord right there.

'Cause that ain't nothing but the Lord right there. That's gonna be, um...

the Lord right there. That's gonna be, um... Uh, Miss Madison,

That's gonna be, um... Uh, Miss Madison, you my best employee, now.

Uh, Miss Madison, you my best employee, now. I'm your only employee,

you my best employee, now. I'm your only employee, Mr. Cannon.

I'm your only employee, Mr. Cannon. That's true.

Mr. Cannon. That's true. But you still the best.

That's true. But you still the best. And I'm gonna...

But you still the best. And I'm gonna... I'm gonna

And I'm gonna... I'm gonna miss you.

I'm gonna miss you. Bless you, Madison.

miss you. Bless you, Madison.

I'm telling you, I got to figure something out quick. I got to get some money to hold

figure something out quick. I got to get some money to hold us down till one of these teams

I got to get some money to hold us down till one of these teams comes crawling.

us down till one of these teams comes crawling. I'm telling you, it's gonna

comes crawling. I'm telling you, it's gonna be a matter of time, man.

I'm telling you, it's gonna be a matter of time, man. Yeah, I wish Hank had the

be a matter of time, man. Yeah, I wish Hank had the same faith.

Yeah, I wish Hank had the same faith. He keeps telling me, if I don't

same faith. He keeps telling me, if I don't get some money soon,

He keeps telling me, if I don't get some money soon, I'm gonna be broke.

get some money soon, I'm gonna be broke. What you need to do is map

I'm gonna be broke. What you need to do is map out your long-terms and your

What you need to do is map out your long-terms and your short-term goals.

out your long-terms and your short-term goals.

short-term goals.

Man, what the hell you know

Man, what the hell you know about long- and short-term

Man, what the hell you know about long- and short-term goals?

about long- and short-term goals? Nothing.

goals? Nothing. But it sounded good.

Nothing. But it sounded good.

But it sounded good.

Just need to hire a new team.

Just need to hire a new team. So you not gonna listen to

Just need to hire a new team. So you not gonna listen to Hank?

So you not gonna listen to Hank? Well, he said I have to fire

Hank? Well, he said I have to fire my existing team.

Well, he said I have to fire my existing team. He didn't say nothing about

my existing team. He didn't say nothing about I can't hire a new team.

He didn't say nothing about I can't hire a new team. Just...make it smaller.

I can't hire a new team. Just...make it smaller. Cheaper.

Just...make it smaller. Cheaper. Good luck with that, cuz.

Cheaper. Good luck with that, cuz. Just make sure you get a

Good luck with that, cuz. Just make sure you get a pretty chick.

Just make sure you get a pretty chick. The last one your hired

pretty chick. The last one your hired looked like a man.

The last one your hired looked like a man. Chris was a man, Rex.

That -- that was a man?

I mean, it has everything, you know? The camera, the lens, the works.

you know? The camera, the lens, the works. I'll be so glad to get rid of

The camera, the lens, the works. I'll be so glad to get rid of this old thing, Mom.

I'll be so glad to get rid of this old thing, Mom. Okay.

this old thing, Mom. Okay. But, honey, you learned to shoot

Okay. But, honey, you learned to shoot on that old thing.

But, honey, you learned to shoot on that old thing. Yeah, but if I'm gonna be a

on that old thing. Yeah, but if I'm gonna be a serious photographer, I'm gonna

Yeah, but if I'm gonna be a serious photographer, I'm gonna need the best equipment.

serious photographer, I'm gonna need the best equipment. And then, you know,

need the best equipment. And then, you know, I'm president of the

And then, you know, I'm president of the photography club, so...

I'm president of the photography club, so... Mm-hmm.

photography club, so... Mm-hmm. It's just $499.

$499. Mm. Mm-hmm. All right.

Mm-hmm. All right. We'll see.

All right. We'll see. Thank you, Mom.

We'll see. Thank you, Mom. You're the best mom.

Thank you, Mom. You're the best mom. Mm-hmm.

You're the best mom. Mm-hmm. Mom.

Mm-hmm. Mom. Hm?

Mom. Hm? I want a wall-climbing,

Hm? I want a wall-climbing, zero-gravity, remote-control

I want a wall-climbing, zero-gravity, remote-control racer.

zero-gravity, remote-control racer. I thought you wanted a

racer. I thought you wanted a robotics kit?

I thought you wanted a robotics kit? No, scratch that.

robotics kit? No, scratch that. And don't worry about that VR

No, scratch that. And don't worry about that VR thing, either.

And don't worry about that VR thing, either. I'll tell Dad to get it.

thing, either. I'll tell Dad to get it. All righty, then.

I'll tell Dad to get it. All righty, then. We'll see.

[ Horns honking ]

[ Keys clacking ] [ Clicking ]

[ Keys clacking ] [ Clicking ] [ Laptop beeps ]

[ Keys clacking ]

[ Laptop beeps ]

[ Dialing ]

Speak to a representative.

Speak to a representative. [ Clears throat ]

Speak to a representative. [ Clears throat ] [ Slowly ] Speak to a

[ Clears throat ] [ Slowly ] Speak to a representative.

[ Slowly ] Speak to a representative. Hello?

representative. Hello? Yeah. Uh, fine, thank you.

Hello? Yeah. Uh, fine, thank you. Um, listen, I just tried to

Yeah. Uh, fine, thank you. Um, listen, I just tried to log into my account,

Um, listen, I just tried to log into my account, and it's frozen.

log into my account, and it's frozen. Yeah, I can't access any of my

and it's frozen. Yeah, I can't access any of my money.

Yeah, I can't access any of my money. Yeah, I can hold.

money. Yeah, I can hold. Mom?

Yeah, I can hold. Mom? What's wrong?

Mom? What's wrong? Heh...

What's wrong? Heh... Huh?

Heh... Huh? Yeah, I'm here. What?

Huh? Yeah, I'm here. What? No.

Yeah, I'm here. What? No. No, I wasn't aware of

No. No, I wasn't aware of any of that.

No, I wasn't aware of any of that. Well, wouldn't I have received

any of that. Well, wouldn't I have received a notice of some sort

Well, wouldn't I have received a notice of some sort a-about an intent?

a notice of some sort a-about an intent? 21 days and it's all gone?

a-about an intent? 21 days and it's all gone? Is there anything you --

21 days and it's all gone? Is there anything you -- you can do?

Is there anything you -- you can do? Oh-kay...

you can do? Oh-kay... Thanks.

Oh-kay... Thanks.

Jackie, come put these toys away, please. And, Chloe, I thought I asked

away, please. And, Chloe, I thought I asked you to wash the dishes.

And, Chloe, I thought I asked you to wash the dishes.

you to wash the dishes.

Hello?!

Hello?! Turn your phone off.

Hello?! Turn your phone off. And pick up your toys now.

Turn your phone off. And pick up your toys now. Your father's on his way over.

And pick up your toys now. Your father's on his way over. Why?

Your father's on his way over. Why? Because I need to talk to him

Why? Because I need to talk to him about something, that's why.

Because I need to talk to him about something, that's why.

Oh, hey, Dad. What's up, family?

What's up, family?

Hey, princess.

Hey, princess. Hey, Dad.

Jackie, please go to your room so I can speak to your father.

your room so I can speak to your father. All right.

your father. All right. See ya, Dad.

All right. See ya, Dad. See ya, champ.

See ya, Dad. See ya, champ. No tree?

See ya, champ. No tree? Where's your Christmas spirit?

No tree? Where's your Christmas spirit? The IRS took it.

Where's your Christmas spirit? The IRS took it. Along with my money.

The IRS took it. Along with my money. What? How much?

Along with my money. What? How much? All of it!

What? How much? All of it! Including the money that my

All of it! Including the money that my parents left me.

Including the money that my parents left me. Jake, they said something about

parents left me. Jake, they said something about sending a notice with the intent

Jake, they said something about sending a notice with the intent to levy for back taxes.

sending a notice with the intent to levy for back taxes. Did you get them?

to levy for back taxes. Did you get them? Did I get the notices?

Did you get them? Did I get the notices? Yes, Jake! Did you get them?

Did I get the notices? Yes, Jake! Did you get them? They said they sent them

Yes, Jake! Did you get them? They said they sent them to your house.

They said they sent them to your house. I'm sorry.

to your house. I'm sorry. I-I just didn't want you to

I'm sorry. I-I just didn't want you to worry about it.

I-I just didn't want you to worry about it. I was gonna take care of it.

worry about it. I was gonna take care of it. Wow. You know what?

I was gonna take care of it. Wow. You know what? And Laney, she told me

Wow. You know what? And Laney, she told me to close that account and just

And Laney, she told me to close that account and just open up a new one.

to close that account and just open up a new one. Laney? Why is she still

open up a new one. Laney? Why is she still in our business?

Laney? Why is she still in our business? Damn it, Jake!

in our business? Damn it, Jake! You told me that you were gonna

Damn it, Jake! You told me that you were gonna take care of these back taxes.

You told me that you were gonna take care of these back taxes. I knew I should have

take care of these back taxes. I knew I should have followed up.

I knew I should have followed up. How am I supposed to pay bills,

followed up. How am I supposed to pay bills, okay?

How am I supposed to pay bills, okay? That was the all the money

okay? That was the all the money that I had!

That was the all the money that I had! And it's right before Christmas?

that I had! And it's right before Christmas? Old Man Cannon -- can't he

And it's right before Christmas? Old Man Cannon -- can't he give you an advance until I

Old Man Cannon -- can't he give you an advance until I figure something out?

give you an advance until I figure something out? No, he can't,

figure something out? No, he can't, because he fired me.

No, he can't, because he fired me. The bookstore is closing.

because he fired me. The bookstore is closing. We are less than three weeks

The bookstore is closing. We are less than three weeks before Christmas, all right?

We are less than three weeks before Christmas, all right? How am I supposed to do this?

before Christmas, all right? How am I supposed to do this? Don't worry.

How am I supposed to do this? Don't worry. I'm-a take care of it.

Don't worry. I'm-a take care of it. Nope.

I'm-a take care of it. Nope. That's exactly what I'm

Nope. That's exactly what I'm not gonna do, is let you

That's exactly what I'm not gonna do, is let you take care of it.

not gonna do, is let you take care of it. I will figure something out.

take care of it. I will figure something out. I'm sorry. My fault.

I will figure something out. I'm sorry. My fault. I'm-a take care of that.

I'm sorry. My fault. I'm-a take care of that. But did I tell you I

I'm-a take care of that. But did I tell you I finally signed that girl?

But did I tell you I finally signed that girl? You know the one I'm talking

finally signed that girl? You know the one I'm talking about, right?

You know the one I'm talking about, right? The one that says she's Latina?

about, right? The one that says she's Latina? I think she's straight-up black.

The one that says she's Latina? I think she's straight-up black. She can sing, act, and dance --

I think she's straight-up black. She can sing, act, and dance -- triple threat!

She can sing, act, and dance -- triple threat! Jake,

triple threat! Jake, do you have any money right now

Jake, do you have any money right now to help me with those kids?

do you have any money right now to help me with those kids? Look.

to help me with those kids? Look. I got a client who's gonna give

Look. I got a client who's gonna give me some money tomorrow.

I got a client who's gonna give me some money tomorrow. One of my artists did a track

me some money tomorrow. One of my artists did a track for his website.

One of my artists did a track for his website. Soon as I get that money in my

for his website. Soon as I get that money in my hand, I'll give it to you, okay?

Soon as I get that money in my hand, I'll give it to you, okay? Hey.

hand, I'll give it to you, okay? Hey. Don't worry.

Hey. Don't worry. Yeah.

Don't worry. Yeah. Take care of everything, right?

Um... Just the let kids know I'll see them later, okay?

Just the let kids know I'll see them later, okay? Yep.

them later, okay? Yep. [ Door opens ]

Yep. [ Door opens ] Bye, Jake.

[ Door opens ] Bye, Jake. Bye.

Girl, I am so happy you're not trusting Jake to take care of this.

you're not trusting Jake to take care of this. You gave him way too many

care of this. You gave him way too many chances.

You gave him way too many chances. You just let people run all over

chances. You just let people run all over you, and...

You just let people run all over you, and... I need a job, not a lecture.

you, and... I need a job, not a lecture. I'm just saying.

I need a job, not a lecture. I'm just saying. So, you try Uber yet?

I'm just saying. So, you try Uber yet? [ Groans ]

So, you try Uber yet? [ Groans ] Girl, I don't know.

[ Groans ] Girl, I don't know. Or something.

Girl, I don't know. Or something. I mean, there's plenty of things

Or something. I mean, there's plenty of things out there like that.

I mean, there's plenty of things out there like that. People are out here making bank.

out there like that. People are out here making bank. Oh, yeah?

People are out here making bank. Oh, yeah? Doing what?

Oh, yeah? Doing what? Uber, TaskMasters, Runnr.

Doing what? Uber, TaskMasters, Runnr. You set your own hours,

Uber, TaskMasters, Runnr. You set your own hours, and the money goes straight to

You set your own hours, and the money goes straight to your bank account.

and the money goes straight to your bank account. Get a MoneyCard.

your bank account. Get a MoneyCard. You could have the funds

Get a MoneyCard. You could have the funds deposited to a MoneyCard.

You could have the funds deposited to a MoneyCard. Girl, how do you

deposited to a MoneyCard. Girl, how do you know so much?

Girl, how do you know so much? Look, I'm just a sister out

know so much? Look, I'm just a sister out here trying to hold it down

Look, I'm just a sister out here trying to hold it down while my husband's fighting for

here trying to hold it down while my husband's fighting for his country.

while my husband's fighting for his country. Mm-hmm.

his country. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. All right.

Mm-hmm. All right. So, if I get a MoneyCard,

All right. So, if I get a MoneyCard, then the money goes directly to

So, if I get a MoneyCard, then the money goes directly to the card, and I can pay my

then the money goes directly to the card, and I can pay my bills, and still put something

the card, and I can pay my bills, and still put something aside for Christmas presents.

bills, and still put something aside for Christmas presents. And try to make a deal with

aside for Christmas presents. And try to make a deal with the IRS before they take all

And try to make a deal with the IRS before they take all your money.

the IRS before they take all your money. 21 days.

your money. 21 days. Just download the app,

21 days. Just download the app, and they'll call you

Just download the app, and they'll call you when they need you.

and they'll call you when they need you. Take the job, and you get paid.

All right. So, you're saying I need to do Uber and Runnr and --

So, you're saying I need to do Uber and Runnr and -- what's the other one?

Uber and Runnr and -- what's the other one? TaskMasters.

what's the other one? TaskMasters. You're handy, right?

TaskMasters. You're handy, right? Girl, Jake couldn't do

You're handy, right? Girl, Jake couldn't do nothing, all right?

Girl, Jake couldn't do nothing, all right? Seriously, your girl can install

nothing, all right? Seriously, your girl can install a showerhead and -- and put

Seriously, your girl can install a showerhead and -- and put together furniture and put up a

a showerhead and -- and put together furniture and put up a ceiling fan like nobody's

together furniture and put up a ceiling fan like nobody's business.

ceiling fan like nobody's business. Amen to that.

business. Amen to that.

Amen to that.

Tell me about it. Oh, my God.

Tell me about it. Oh, my God. With Ted gone,

Tell me about it. Oh, my God. With Ted gone, I have to do everything.

With Ted gone, I have to do everything.

I have to do everything.

Being married to the military

Being married to the military sure makes a girl resourceful.

Being married to the military sure makes a girl resourceful. Yeah, but, come

sure makes a girl resourceful. Yeah, but, come New Year's Eve, daddy's home.

Yeah, but, come New Year's Eve, daddy's home. Mama can't wait.

New Year's Eve, daddy's home. Mama can't wait. Yes, I know you can't.

Mama can't wait. Yes, I know you can't.

Yes, I know you can't.

All right. Try the pie.

[ Cellphone buzzing ]

So...

So... We're broke?

So... We're broke? No.

We're broke? No. I mean, yes.

No. I mean, yes. Sort of. For n-- For now.

I mean, yes. Sort of. For n-- For now. But, listen,

Sort of. For n-- For now. But, listen, I don't want you guys to worry,

But, listen, I don't want you guys to worry, all right?

I don't want you guys to worry, all right? Now, I'm gonna get some work,

all right? Now, I'm gonna get some work, and you two are gonna get

Now, I'm gonna get some work, and you two are gonna get everything that I promised you

and you two are gonna get everything that I promised you for Christmas.

everything that I promised you for Christmas. It's okay if we don't, Mom.

for Christmas. It's okay if we don't, Mom. Yeah.

It's okay if we don't, Mom. Yeah. Jackie, you're gonna get that

Yeah. Jackie, you're gonna get that zero-gravity wall-climbing

Jackie, you're gonna get that zero-gravity wall-climbing thingy, and -- and, Chloe,

zero-gravity wall-climbing thingy, and -- and, Chloe, you're gonna get the

thingy, and -- and, Chloe, you're gonna get the brand-spanking-new

you're gonna get the brand-spanking-new digital camera worthy of your

brand-spanking-new digital camera worthy of your stellar photographic skills.

digital camera worthy of your stellar photographic skills. I mean, I can ask Dad for

stellar photographic skills. I mean, I can ask Dad for some money.

I mean, I can ask Dad for some money. I can get a job.

some money. I can get a job. I can get a job, too.

I can get a job. I can get a job, too. Yeah.

I can get a job, too. Yeah. No! No. All right.

Yeah. No! No. All right. Guys, it is your Christmas

No! No. All right. Guys, it is your Christmas break, all right?

Guys, it is your Christmas break, all right? You're supposed to be

break, all right? You're supposed to be sleeping in late and -- and

You're supposed to be sleeping in late and -- and watching Christmas movies and

sleeping in late and -- and watching Christmas movies and hanging out with your friends.

watching Christmas movies and hanging out with your friends. I will work out this mess

hanging out with your friends. I will work out this mess with the IRS.

I will work out this mess with the IRS. All right?

with the IRS. All right? I'm gonna get some money

All right? I'm gonna get some money up in here.

I'm gonna get some money up in here. I got this.

up in here. I got this. Hey.

I got this. Hey.

Hey.

I do.

I do. Hey, hey. Come on, now.

I do. Hey, hey. Come on, now. Sto-- Yes, exactly.

Hey, hey. Come on, now. Sto-- Yes, exactly.

Sto-- Yes, exactly.

Come here.

Come here. Come here, both of you.

Come here. Come here, both of you. Listen to me.

Come here, both of you. Listen to me. We're gonna be fine.

Listen to me. We're gonna be fine. I promise.

We're gonna be fine. I promise. I love you.

I promise. I love you. Love you too, Mom.

I love you. Love you too, Mom. Love you too, Mom.

Love you too, Mom. Love you too, Mom. Come on.

Love you too, Mom. Come on. Let's make some popcorn.

♪♪ Yes, hi. I'd like to speak to someone

Yes, hi. I'd like to speak to someone about getting an extension on my

I'd like to speak to someone about getting an extension on my light bill.

about getting an extension on my light bill. Okay. Thank you.

Yeah. We just got engaged. I'm so excited. Oh! Heh, heh.

I'm so excited. Oh! Heh, heh. That's sweet. Congratulations.

Oh! Heh, heh. That's sweet. Congratulations. When's the big day?

That's sweet. Congratulations. When's the big day? Christmas Eve.

When's the big day? Christmas Eve. Oh! So you have a --

Christmas Eve. Oh! So you have a -- a whole year to plan.

Oh! So you have a -- a whole year to plan. Actually, no.

a whole year to plan. Actually, no. It's this Christmas Eve.

Actually, no. It's this Christmas Eve. Oh. That's fast.

It's this Christmas Eve. Oh. That's fast. Time stands still

Oh. That's fast. Time stands still when you're in love.

Time stands still when you're in love. We don't want to wait. Heh...

Wait, um... Do you think we should wait?

[ Grunting ]

[ Cellphone rings ]

Yeah? Oh, that was fast. All right, cool.

Oh, that was fast. All right, cool. I'll be down in 30.

All right, cool. I'll be down in 30. Two minutes?

I'll be down in 30. Two minutes? Look, man, I'm paying you.

Two minutes? Look, man, I'm paying you. You can wait a minute, right?

Look, man, I'm paying you. You can wait a minute, right? Uh --

You can wait a minute, right? Uh -- You're really gonna make me say

Uh -- You're really gonna make me say it, aren't you?

You're really gonna make me say it, aren't you?

it, aren't you?

You know who you're

You know who you're talking to, man?

It's too much pressure. I'm not ready. What?!

I'm not ready. What?! No, baby --

What?! No, baby -- Baby!

Merry Christmas!

Yeah, I might be in the

Yeah, I might be in the market for a new agent, and I

Yeah, I might be in the market for a new agent, and I wanted to talk to you about it.

market for a new agent, and I wanted to talk to you about it. Uh, well, my chauffeur is taking

wanted to talk to you about it. Uh, well, my chauffeur is taking me to the cleaner's right now,

Uh, well, my chauffeur is taking me to the cleaner's right now, but I can meet you in --

me to the cleaner's right now, but I can meet you in -- Oh, okay.

but I can meet you in -- Oh, okay. Well, how about we do lunch

Oh, okay. Well, how about we do lunch tomorrow, then?

Well, how about we do lunch tomorrow, then? Oh. Uh...

tomorrow, then? Oh. Uh... Let's do something

Oh. Uh... Let's do something more personable.

Let's do something more personable. You know Rudy's Deli?

[ TV playing in background ]

Hey. You think Mom's gonna be able to get us everything we want

You think Mom's gonna be able to get us everything we want for Christmas?

to get us everything we want for Christmas? I mean, she said she would,

for Christmas? I mean, she said she would, so...

I mean, she said she would, so... But she doesn't have any

so... But she doesn't have any money now.

But she doesn't have any money now. I mean, what if she can't pay

money now. I mean, what if she can't pay next month's rent?

I mean, what if she can't pay next month's rent? And then we'd be out on the

next month's rent? And then we'd be out on the streets.

And then we'd be out on the streets. I'm just gonna call Dad.

streets. I'm just gonna call Dad.

I'm just gonna call Dad.

Put him on speaker.

Put him on speaker.

Put him on speaker.

Hey, champ.

Hey, champ. I was just thinking about you.

Hey, champ. I was just thinking about you. What's up?

I was just thinking about you. What's up? Hey, Dad...

What's up? Hey, Dad... What's up?

Hey, Dad... What's up? Chloe and I were wondering,

What's up? Chloe and I were wondering, do you have any money

Chloe and I were wondering, do you have any money you can give Mom?

do you have any money you can give Mom? I already talked

you can give Mom? I already talked to your mom, and we got

I already talked to your mom, and we got everything under control, okay?

to your mom, and we got everything under control, okay? As a matter of fact,

everything under control, okay? As a matter of fact, I'll be over there later on

As a matter of fact, I'll be over there later on with some money.

I'll be over there later on with some money. Did your mom get a job yet?

with some money. Did your mom get a job yet? Uh... Sort of?

Did your mom get a job yet? Uh... Sort of? Cool.

Uh... Sort of? Cool. Well, look, don't worry.

Cool. Well, look, don't worry. I'm-a take care of everything,

Well, look, don't worry. I'm-a take care of everything, all right?

I'm-a take care of everything, all right? Chloe, I'm-a send you a link to

all right? Chloe, I'm-a send you a link to my new artist's music.

Chloe, I'm-a send you a link to my new artist's music. She's dope.

my new artist's music. She's dope. All right. Thanks, Dad.

She's dope. All right. Thanks, Dad. You got it.

All right. Thanks, Dad. You got it. Hey, I love you guys.

You got it. Hey, I love you guys. All right. Love you, too.

Look, if we want those Christmas presents, we're gonna have to get them ourselves.

Christmas presents, we're gonna have to get them ourselves. Now, I don't know about you,

have to get them ourselves. Now, I don't know about you, but I'm gonna go get a job.

♪♪ No, we can reschedule. I was coming here anyway.

No, we can reschedule. I was coming here anyway. That's fine.

I was coming here anyway. That's fine. Right.

That's fine. Right. Okay. Sure.

Right. Okay. Sure. Let's, uh, reschedule for --

Okay. Sure. Let's, uh, reschedule for -- Next year?

Let's, uh, reschedule for -- Next year? Really?

Next year? Really? Uh... Okay.

[ Drumming hands ] [ Door opens ]

Alex? Alec. Not Alex. Alec.

Alec. Not Alex. Alec. Oh, okay. Sorry.

Not Alex. Alec. Oh, okay. Sorry. I'm Madison.

Oh, okay. Sorry. I'm Madison. You ready to go?

I'm Madison. You ready to go? Yeah.

You ready to go? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Okay. Uh...

Okay. Uh... It says you're going to

Uh... It says you're going to Laramie Jewelry Store,

It says you're going to Laramie Jewelry Store, but that's just two blocks away.

Laramie Jewelry Store, but that's just two blocks away. Yeah, I know where it is.

but that's just two blocks away. Yeah, I know where it is. I need to stop at the bank

Yeah, I know where it is. I need to stop at the bank first, too.

I need to stop at the bank first, too. Okay, well, you didn't

first, too. Okay, well, you didn't indicate that you have

Okay, well, you didn't indicate that you have multiple stops, so I need to

indicate that you have multiple stops, so I need to adjust the fare.

multiple stops, so I need to adjust the fare. That's fine.

adjust the fare. That's fine. Do whatever you need to do.

That's fine. Do whatever you need to do. Can we just go?

Do whatever you need to do. Can we just go? Well, we could except for

Can we just go? Well, we could except for there's a car in front of me.

Well, we could except for there's a car in front of me. All right.

there's a car in front of me. All right. You look familiar.

All right. You look familiar. Do you play for the Knicks?

You look familiar. Do you play for the Knicks? What, are we doing an

Do you play for the Knicks? What, are we doing an interview here?

What, are we doing an interview here? 'Scuse me.

[ Horn honks ] Yeah, no, I told him that, but then...I gave in.

Yeah, no, I told him that, but then...I gave in. I'll make up for it later.

but then...I gave in. I'll make up for it later. Don't make up for it.

I'll make up for it later. Don't make up for it. Make him pay for it.

Don't make up for it. Make him pay for it. And next time, tell him to call

Make him pay for it. And next time, tell him to call Runnr.

And next time, tell him to call Runnr. Big-shot basketball player.

Runnr. Big-shot basketball player.

Big-shot basketball player.

Okay, I got to go.

Okay, I got to go. Here he comes, girl.

Okay, I got to go. Here he comes, girl. I'll hit you later. Bye.

Yeah, okay. Cool. I'll meet you there. All right.

I'll meet you there. All right. All right.

All right. All right. Got to go back to Rudy's Deli.

All right. Got to go back to Rudy's Deli. Um, you know that you can

Got to go back to Rudy's Deli. Um, you know that you can hire somebody to do all this

Um, you know that you can hire somebody to do all this running around for you if you

hire somebody to do all this running around for you if you don't like doing it yourself,

running around for you if you don't like doing it yourself, right?

don't like doing it yourself, right? Yeah. I hired you.

right? Yeah. I hired you. No, but I'm a driver.

Yeah. I hired you. No, but I'm a driver. I'm not a runner.

No, but I'm a driver. I'm not a runner. There's a company called Runnr,

I'm not a runner. There's a company called Runnr, and they will --

There's a company called Runnr, and they will -- Okay, look, what does it

and they will -- Okay, look, what does it matter?

Okay, look, what does it matter? You're getting paid, right?

matter? You're getting paid, right? People get paid to work,

You're getting paid, right? People get paid to work, not talk, so let's go.

People get paid to work, not talk, so let's go. Rudy's Deli. Come on.

not talk, so let's go. Rudy's Deli. Come on. Yes, sir.

All right. Thank you. Yeah, no problem, Alec. Have a good -- [Car door closes]

Yeah, no problem, Alec. Have a good -- [Car door closes] Jerk-off.

♪♪ [ Door opens ] Hello!

[ Door opens ] Hello! Oh, hey, Mom.

Hello! Oh, hey, Mom. Hey, Mom.

Oh, hey, Mom. Hey, Mom. Hi.

Hey, Mom. Hi. How are you guys?

Hi. How are you guys? Good.

How are you guys? Good. How was your day?

Good. How was your day? Uh...

How was your day? Uh... My day was...

Uh... My day was... It was pretty good. Yeah.

My day was... It was pretty good. Yeah. That's good.

It was pretty good. Yeah. That's good.

That's good.

How are you two?

How are you two? Good.

How are you two? Good. Yeah?

Good. Yeah? Today was just kind of

Yeah? Today was just kind of boring.

Today was just kind of boring. It was boring?

boring. It was boring? Yeah.

It was boring? Yeah. Yeah. So, you don't want to

Yeah. Yeah. So, you don't want to be in school.

Yeah. So, you don't want to be in school. Now you want to be

be in school. Now you want to be in school, huh?

Now you want to be in school, huh? Yeah.

in school, huh? Yeah. Mom, you look kind of tired.

Yeah. Mom, you look kind of tired. You know what, sweetheart,

Mom, you look kind of tired. You know what, sweetheart, I am tired.

You know what, sweetheart, I am tired. Did you guys eat?

I am tired. Did you guys eat? Yeah.

Did you guys eat? Yeah. Aunt Laney brought us some

Yeah. Aunt Laney brought us some pizza, so we saved you a few

Aunt Laney brought us some pizza, so we saved you a few slices.

pizza, so we saved you a few slices. Aw, yes!

slices. Aw, yes! You did? That's so sweet.

Aw, yes! You did? That's so sweet. Thank you.

You did? That's so sweet. Thank you. You're welcome.

Thank you. You're welcome. You're the best.

You're welcome. You're the best. Ahh.

You're the best. Ahh. I have an idea.

Ahh. I have an idea. What is it?

I have an idea. What is it? Y'all want to watch a

What is it? Y'all want to watch a Christmas movie?

Y'all want to watch a Christmas movie? Mom...

Christmas movie? Mom... Is Santa jolly?

Mom... Is Santa jolly? Yes, we want to watch a

Is Santa jolly? Yes, we want to watch a Christmas movie.

Yes, we want to watch a Christmas movie. Let's go.

Christmas movie. Let's go. You guys are so lame.

So, how'd it go yesterday? You know what? Not bad. Not bad. I'm just still way deep

You know what? Not bad. Not bad. I'm just still way deep in the hole.

Not bad. I'm just still way deep in the hole. After they froze my account, all

in the hole. After they froze my account, all I have left is the money I had

After they froze my account, all I have left is the money I had stashed in the house for

I have left is the money I had stashed in the house for emergencies, and the cash that

stashed in the house for emergencies, and the cash that Old Man Cannon gave me.

emergencies, and the cash that Old Man Cannon gave me.

Old Man Cannon gave me.

Hold on a second.

Hold on a second.

Hold on a second.

Girl.

Girl. Huh?

Girl. Huh? I got a gig from Runnr.

Huh? I got a gig from Runnr. Yes!

I got a gig from Runnr. Yes! All right, working girl.

Yes! All right, working girl. Don't kill yourself out there.

All right, working girl. Don't kill yourself out there. Well, listen, I'm-a do

Don't kill yourself out there. Well, listen, I'm-a do whatever I have to do to make

Well, listen, I'm-a do whatever I have to do to make this money, okay?

whatever I have to do to make this money, okay? I'll talk to you later.

this money, okay? I'll talk to you later. All right.

I'll talk to you later. All right. All right. Bye.

All right. All right. Bye. Yes!

All right. Bye. Yes! Oh! Hot! Okay.

Yes! Oh! Hot! Okay. Hey. What's up, Snap?

Oh! Hot! Okay. Hey. What's up, Snap? Just your local,

Hey. What's up, Snap? Just your local, everyday Hall of Famer.

Just your local, everyday Hall of Famer. [ Knock on door ]

[ Clears throat ]

Oh. What, are you stalking me? What do you need done,

What, are you stalking me? What do you need done, Mr. Darby?

What do you need done, Mr. Darby? Well, the first thing I need

Mr. Darby? Well, the first thing I need done is for you to fix the hole

Well, the first thing I need done is for you to fix the hole in that coat.

done is for you to fix the hole in that coat. Look like it's been through it.

in that coat. Look like it's been through it. Come on in.

Look like it's been through it. Come on in. Don't get any of that cotton

Come on in. Don't get any of that cotton on my nice floor.

Got you a list.

Here you go.

You want me to do all of this? Yeah.

all of this? Yeah. What time you think

Yeah. What time you think you'll be done?

What time you think you'll be done?

you'll be done?

Could be a coach.

Could be a coach. Like college football.

Could be a coach. Like college football. I could probably do that, right?

Like college football. I could probably do that, right? [ Knock on door ]

I could probably do that, right? [ Knock on door ] Yep.

[ Knock on door ] Yep. Yeah. Hey.

Yep. Yeah. Hey. Hey, hold on one second, okay?

Yeah. Hey. Hey, hold on one second, okay? All right.

Okay. Here's your dry cleaning. The rest of your stuff.

Here's your dry cleaning. The rest of your stuff. And an itemized breakdown of

The rest of your stuff. And an itemized breakdown of what's gonna appear on your

And an itemized breakdown of what's gonna appear on your credit card.

what's gonna appear on your credit card. Whoa.

credit card. Whoa. Why is it so expensive?

Whoa. Why is it so expensive? Well, I went to the bakery,

Why is it so expensive? Well, I went to the bakery, the pharmacy, the computer

Well, I went to the bakery, the pharmacy, the computer store, the deli.

the pharmacy, the computer store, the deli. Yeah, no, I know all that,

store, the deli. Yeah, no, I know all that, but it only took you five hours.

Yeah, no, I know all that, but it only took you five hours. Which, I got to admit,

but it only took you five hours. Which, I got to admit, is pretty freaking impressive.

Which, I got to admit, is pretty freaking impressive. But still.

is pretty freaking impressive. But still. Well, um, I don't get paid

But still. Well, um, I don't get paid by the hour.

Well, um, I don't get paid by the hour. I get paid by the service.

by the hour. I get paid by the service. So, good night, Mr. Darby.

I get paid by the service. So, good night, Mr. Darby. Yeah, okay, but --

Okay, so, under what circumstances does the IRS agree to lift the levy?

circumstances does the IRS agree to lift the levy? [ Scribbling ]

to lift the levy? [ Scribbling ] Okay, and how do I prove

[ Scribbling ] Okay, and how do I prove hardship?

Okay, and how do I prove hardship?

hardship?

I don't have time

I don't have time to do all that.

I don't have time to do all that. I mean, you guys took all my

to do all that. I mean, you guys took all my money, and it's two weeks before

I mean, you guys took all my money, and it's two weeks before Christmas, and I'm busting my

money, and it's two weeks before Christmas, and I'm busting my butt trying to --

Christmas, and I'm busting my butt trying to -- I mean, doesn't that

butt trying to -- I mean, doesn't that prove hardship?

I mean, doesn't that prove hardship? Hello -- Hello? Hel--

prove hardship? Hello -- Hello? Hel--

Hello -- Hello? Hel--

Please tell me you have good news. Well...

good news. Well... Not really.

You could've told me that over the phone, Jake. I know, I know, I know.

over the phone, Jake. I know, I know, I know. I'm sorry.

I know, I know, I know. I'm sorry. Look, my guy didn't come through

I'm sorry. Look, my guy didn't come through for me.

Look, my guy didn't come through for me. But I got another guy,

for me. But I got another guy, all right?

But I got another guy, all right? Oh, my gosh.

all right? Oh, my gosh. You always have another guy.

Oh, my gosh. You always have another guy. There's always another artist,

You always have another guy. There's always another artist, there's always another idea,

There's always another artist, there's always another idea, there's always another scheme.

there's always another idea, there's always another scheme. And they never come through.

there's always another scheme. And they never come through. You never come through!

And they never come through. You never come through! I'm in this mess with the IRS

You never come through! I'm in this mess with the IRS because you are not a

I'm in this mess with the IRS because you are not a man of your word.

because you are not a man of your word. You want to hit me? Huh?

man of your word. You want to hit me? Huh? Go -- go ahead.

You want to hit me? Huh? Go -- go ahead. Take your best shot.

Go -- go ahead. Take your best shot. I deserve it.

Take your best shot. I deserve it. Oh, come on, now. Please.

I deserve it. Oh, come on, now. Please. Don't make yourself into a

Oh, come on, now. Please. Don't make yourself into a martyr, all right?

Don't make yourself into a martyr, all right? When we were married,

martyr, all right? When we were married, I put my trust in you

When we were married, I put my trust in you to do what you said you were

I put my trust in you to do what you said you were gonna do.

to do what you said you were gonna do. And I was disappointed time

gonna do. And I was disappointed time and time and time again,

And I was disappointed time and time and time again, and so were those kids.

and time and time again, and so were those kids. And who is left to

and so were those kids. And who is left to clean up your mess?

And who is left to clean up your mess? Me! Just like --

clean up your mess? Me! Just like -- Whoa, whoa, whoa,

Me! Just like -- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a minute!

whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a minute! You're the one who told me to

Wait a minute! You're the one who told me to pursue my dream.

You're the one who told me to pursue my dream. You're the one who said you

pursue my dream. You're the one who said you believed in me.

You're the one who said you believed in me. Yes, I --

believed in me. Yes, I -- That's right.

Yes, I -- That's right. Pursue your dreams.

That's right. Pursue your dreams. Do that.

Pursue your dreams. Do that. But you don't get to do it

Do that. But you don't get to do it at our negligence.

But you don't get to do it at our negligence. You don't get to shirk your

at our negligence. You don't get to shirk your responsibilities.

You don't get to shirk your responsibilities. You don't get to flake on being

responsibilities. You don't get to flake on being a husband, a father, a man.

You don't get to flake on being a husband, a father, a man. Oh, I'm not a man now?

a husband, a father, a man. Oh, I'm not a man now? Stop.

Oh, I'm not a man now? Stop. Jake, you need to grow up.

Stop. Jake, you need to grow up. It is too late for you to be a

Jake, you need to grow up. It is too late for you to be a good husband, but it is not too

It is too late for you to be a good husband, but it is not too late for you to be a good

good husband, but it is not too late for you to be a good father and a good role model --

late for you to be a good father and a good role model -- Madison!

father and a good role model -- Madison! I will get you the money.

Madison! I will get you the money. Okay?

♪♪

Cancel. Cancel. Cancel.

Cancel. Cancel. Man, they keep sending me

Cancel. Man, they keep sending me the wrong people.

Man, they keep sending me the wrong people. What's wrong with them?

the wrong people. What's wrong with them? Everything's wrong with them,

What's wrong with them? Everything's wrong with them, man.

Everything's wrong with them, man. This last driver I had

man. This last driver I had got lost.

This last driver I had got lost. With GPS.

got lost. With GPS. [ Snickers ]

With GPS. [ Snickers ] On top of that, she talked my

[ Snickers ] On top of that, she talked my ear off the whole damn time.

On top of that, she talked my ear off the whole damn time. I now the names of all her

ear off the whole damn time. I now the names of all her sorority sisters, their

I now the names of all her sorority sisters, their boyfriends, their families.

sorority sisters, their boyfriends, their families. And this, uh, handyman we had

boyfriends, their families. And this, uh, handyman we had running around here the other

And this, uh, handyman we had running around here the other day, this man put the painting

running around here the other day, this man put the painting on the wall, and when he left,

day, this man put the painting on the wall, and when he left, he shut the door -- painting

on the wall, and when he left, he shut the door -- painting fell off the wall.

he shut the door -- painting fell off the wall. [ Snickering ]

fell off the wall. [ Snickering ] You ain't had no luck.

[ Snickering ] You ain't had no luck.

You ain't had no luck.

I been trying to get that one

I been trying to get that one chick -- um, uh... Madison? --

I been trying to get that one chick -- um, uh... Madison? -- that worked for us that time.

chick -- um, uh... Madison? -- that worked for us that time. Mm-hmm.

that worked for us that time. Mm-hmm. She was good.

Mm-hmm. She was good. I mean, she was rude AF,

She was good. I mean, she was rude AF, but she was good.

I mean, she was rude AF, but she was good. I wonder why I can't get her.

but she was good. I wonder why I can't get her. She's probably not accepting

I wonder why I can't get her. She's probably not accepting your gigs.

She's probably not accepting your gigs. I mean, she see the name,

your gigs. I mean, she see the name, see the address.

I mean, she see the name, see the address. She can always decline.

see the address. She can always decline. She can see all that?

She can always decline. She can see all that? Mm-hmm.

She can see all that? Mm-hmm. What if I use a different

Mm-hmm. What if I use a different name?

What if I use a different name? Might be onto something. Aha!

name? Might be onto something. Aha! Aha!

Might be onto something. Aha! Aha!

Aha!

Come on, let's

Come on, let's go to lunch, man.

Come on, let's go to lunch, man. Your treat.

go to lunch, man. Your treat. What -- What, my treat?

Your treat. What -- What, my treat? Yep.

What -- What, my treat? Yep. What?!

[ Cellphone rings ] Hello?

[ Cellphone rings ] Hello? Yes, this is Chloe Morris.

Hello? Yes, this is Chloe Morris. Yes, I did.

Yes, this is Chloe Morris. Yes, I did. I got the job?

Yes, I did. I got the job? Yes!

I got the job? Yes! Yes, of course.

Yes! Yes, of course.

Yes, of course.

Yes. I can start right away.

Yes. I can start right away. Okay.

Yes. I can start right away. Okay. Yes.

Okay. Yes. Thank you! Thank you so much.

Yes. Thank you! Thank you so much. All right. Bye.

Thank you! Thank you so much. All right. Bye. Oh!

All right. Bye. Oh! Hey, hey.

Oh! Hey, hey. Hey. Rex?

Hey, hey. Hey. Rex? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm Rex.

Hey. Rex? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm Rex. [ Grunts ]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm Rex. [ Grunts ] Give me one second before you

[ Grunts ] Give me one second before you drive off.

Give me one second before you drive off. My cousin's just grabbing me

drive off. My cousin's just grabbing me a drink.

My cousin's just grabbing me a drink. He should be on his way out.

a drink. He should be on his way out. Okay. No problem.

I know y'all like to pull off on people.

pull off on people.

No--

No-- Oh, no. No, no, no.

No-- Oh, no. No, no, no. Get out.

Oh, no. No, no, no. Get out. What? Well, no.

Get out. What? Well, no. Hold on, now.

What? Well, no. Hold on, now. He's with me.

Hold on, now. He's with me. Oh, okay.

He's with me. Oh, okay. Then you can both get out.

Oh, okay. Then you can both get out. Okay, listen, um...

Then you can both get out. Okay, listen, um... What's her name?

Okay, listen, um... What's her name? Madison. This is Madison.

What's her name? Madison. This is Madison. Madison, listen,

Madison. This is Madison. Madison, listen, we're just going to my

Madison, listen, we're just going to my apartment, all right?

we're just going to my apartment, all right? No stops. I promise.

apartment, all right? No stops. I promise. No stops.

No stops. I promise. No stops. No stops. Got my word.

No stops. No stops. Got my word. But I do have a

No stops. Got my word. But I do have a proposition for you.

So, this Alec Darby dude wants you to be his personal assistant?

wants you to be his personal assistant? You met Alec Darby?

assistant? You met Alec Darby? The football player?

You met Alec Darby? The football player? That's awesome!

The football player? That's awesome! Football?

That's awesome! Football? Football?

Football? Football? So, what did you tell him?

Football? So, what did you tell him? Well [Sighs] I mean, as much

So, what did you tell him? Well [Sighs] I mean, as much as I wanted to turn him down

Well [Sighs] I mean, as much as I wanted to turn him down flat, he's offering to pay me

as I wanted to turn him down flat, he's offering to pay me double.

flat, he's offering to pay me double. And, you know, it's more

double. And, you know, it's more than I'm making now,

And, you know, it's more than I'm making now, and it's consistent.

than I'm making now, and it's consistent. And I need consistent.

and it's consistent. And I need consistent. Tell him to pay you in cash.

And I need consistent. Tell him to pay you in cash. Oooh. I like this idea.

Tell him to pay you in cash. Oooh. I like this idea. Mmph.

Oooh. I like this idea. Mmph.

Mmph.

God, I wish he was coming home

God, I wish he was coming home for Christmas.

God, I wish he was coming home for Christmas. Yeah, I know you do.

for Christmas. Yeah, I know you do. And when he sees this picture,

Yeah, I know you do. And when he sees this picture, he's gonna wish he was home for

And when he sees this picture, he's gonna wish he was home for Christmas, too.

he's gonna wish he was home for Christmas, too.

Christmas, too.

I'm gonna get the tape.

I'm gonna get the tape. I hope so.

I'm gonna get the tape. I hope so. Will that complete your

I hope so. Will that complete your order?

Will that complete your order? Great.

order? Great. Thanks for shopping with

Great. Thanks for shopping with PhotoFix.com.

Man, what are you talking about? Don't you know some of the best

about? Don't you know some of the best commentators in the world are

Don't you know some of the best commentators in the world are former athletes?

commentators in the world are former athletes? Are you serious?

former athletes? Are you serious?

Are you serious?

No, it's fine, man.

No, it's fine, man. I'll audition.

No, it's fine, man. I'll audition. Yeah, all right.

I'll audition. Yeah, all right. All right.

Yeah, all right. All right. I'll wait for your e-mail.

All right. I'll wait for your e-mail. All right.

I'll wait for your e-mail. All right. Later.

Can you believe that? They want me to audition to talk about sports.

They want me to audition to talk about sports. Well...

to talk about sports. Well... I'm not much of a sports

Well... I'm not much of a sports enthusiast, so...

I'm not much of a sports enthusiast, so... But I actually have heard

enthusiast, so... But I actually have heard about you.

But I actually have heard about you. Kind of a divo.

about you. Kind of a divo. Late for practice.

Kind of a divo. Late for practice. Rude to teammates. Rude to fans.

Late for practice. Rude to teammates. Rude to fans. Just plain rude.

Rude to teammates. Rude to fans. Just plain rude. That's you, right?

Just plain rude. That's you, right? Can't believe everything you

That's you, right? Can't believe everything you read on the Internet.

Can't believe everything you read on the Internet. So you're trying to get back

read on the Internet. So you're trying to get back in the game, huh?

So you're trying to get back in the game, huh? Yeah.

in the game, huh? Yeah. I still got a lot of

Yeah. I still got a lot of good years left in me.

What was that? What was what? You shrugged.

What was what? You shrugged. Oh. Well...

You shrugged. Oh. Well... Like I said, I'm --

Oh. Well... Like I said, I'm -- I don't know much about sports,

Like I said, I'm -- I don't know much about sports, you know?

I don't know much about sports, you know? Books, I know.

you know? Books, I know. Kids, I know.

Books, I know. Kids, I know. Uh, sports, not so much.

Well, do you think I'd be a good commentator? Possibly.

I'd be a good commentator? Possibly. You could try being a little

Possibly. You could try being a little nicer, though.

You could try being a little nicer, though.

nicer, though.

Man, if my father was alive to

Man, if my father was alive to hear you say that.

Man, if my father was alive to hear you say that. He would laugh his butt off.

hear you say that. He would laugh his butt off. He used to always tell me,

He would laugh his butt off. He used to always tell me, "Son, nice guys don't win,

He used to always tell me, "Son, nice guys don't win, and they never get the girl."

"Son, nice guys don't win, and they never get the girl." So I just don't let people

and they never get the girl." So I just don't let people take advantage of me.

So I just don't let people take advantage of me. And sometimes they take that the

take advantage of me. And sometimes they take that the wrong way.

And sometimes they take that the wrong way. Yeah, well...

wrong way. Yeah, well... I like nice guys, so your father

Yeah, well... I like nice guys, so your father can't speak for all the girls.

I like nice guys, so your father can't speak for all the girls. Okay.

Step into my office, Alec. Thanks. Mm-hmm.

Thanks. Mm-hmm. Now, look, you and I both

Mm-hmm. Now, look, you and I both know that these fans out here

Now, look, you and I both know that these fans out here would love to see me sitting out

know that these fans out here would love to see me sitting out there talking football with a

would love to see me sitting out there talking football with a bunch of thicknecks.

there talking football with a bunch of thicknecks. Well, you did have a, uh,

bunch of thicknecks. Well, you did have a, uh, pretty big fan base at one

Well, you did have a, uh, pretty big fan base at one point, but, uh -- phew...

pretty big fan base at one point, but, uh -- phew... Did?

point, but, uh -- phew... Did? At one point?

Did? At one point? Did.

At one point? Did. Man, you talking to me like

Did. Man, you talking to me like I'm some kind of dinosaur.

Man, you talking to me like I'm some kind of dinosaur. It's a no-brainer, Ryan.

I'm some kind of dinosaur. It's a no-brainer, Ryan. Let's make it happen.

It's a no-brainer, Ryan. Let's make it happen. [ Clears throat ]

Let's make it happen. [ Clears throat ]

[ Clears throat ]

What?

What? [ Clears throat ]

What? [ Clears throat ] Have you ever

[ Clears throat ] Have you ever stopped to ask yourself

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why no one's touched you

stopped to ask yourself why no one's touched you since you left football?

why no one's touched you since you left football? No. 'Cause I know why.

since you left football? No. 'Cause I know why. I'm just coming off an injury --

No. 'Cause I know why. I'm just coming off an injury -- So you think that's

I'm just coming off an injury -- So you think that's what it is?

So you think that's what it is? An -- an injury?

what it is? An -- an injury? Yeah.

An -- an injury? Yeah. Listen, Ryan...

Yeah. Listen, Ryan... you really want to make this

Listen, Ryan... you really want to make this mistake?

you really want to make this mistake? You want to blow this

mistake? You want to blow this opportunity?

You want to blow this opportunity? 'Cause if you're not gonna

opportunity? 'Cause if you're not gonna audition me for this, I know

'Cause if you're not gonna audition me for this, I know several networks that would love

audition me for this, I know several networks that would love to have Alec Darby sitting on

several networks that would love to have Alec Darby sitting on their set talking football.

to have Alec Darby sitting on their set talking football. Maybe you should give one of

their set talking football. Maybe you should give one of them a call, Alec.

Maybe you should give one of them a call, Alec. Thanks for coming in.

them a call, Alec. Thanks for coming in. Appreciate it.

♪♪ Yeah, okay. I'll, uh, submit those forms

Yeah, okay. I'll, uh, submit those forms right away.

I'll, uh, submit those forms right away. Thanks.

right away. Thanks. Go.

You okay? Can we just go?

Thank you for your order. [ Knock on door ] Yes, sir.

[ Knock on door ] Yes, sir. It's late.

Yes, sir. It's late. Merry Christmas.

Dude, this job is so easy. I mean, I'm raking in 10 bucks

Dude, this job is so easy. I mean, I'm raking in 10 bucks an hour.

I mean, I'm raking in 10 bucks an hour. At this rate, I'll be able to

an hour. At this rate, I'll be able to buy everything we want for

At this rate, I'll be able to buy everything we want for Christmas, so Mom can just use

buy everything we want for Christmas, so Mom can just use her money to pay bills.

Christmas, so Mom can just use her money to pay bills. That's good.

her money to pay bills. That's good. But don't tell her.

That's good. But don't tell her. You know she doesn't want us

But don't tell her. You know she doesn't want us working.

You know she doesn't want us working. What's wrong?

working. What's wrong? It's, like, everywhere I go,

What's wrong? It's, like, everywhere I go, they say that I'm too young,

It's, like, everywhere I go, they say that I'm too young, or that they're not hiring.

they say that I'm too young, or that they're not hiring. I'm trying to find a job, too.

or that they're not hiring. I'm trying to find a job, too. Don't even worry about it.

I'm trying to find a job, too. Don't even worry about it. I mean, between me and Mom, we

Don't even worry about it. I mean, between me and Mom, we have everything taken care of.

I mean, between me and Mom, we have everything taken care of. That's the point.

have everything taken care of. That's the point. I don't want y'all to do

That's the point. I don't want y'all to do anything.

I don't want y'all to do anything. I'm the man of the house.

anything. I'm the man of the house. J, it's okay.

I'm the man of the house. J, it's okay. You know what, forget it.

J, it's okay. You know what, forget it. You wouldn't understand.

[ Toys rattling ]

♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪

♪♪ ♪♪ [ Knock on door ]

♪♪ [ Knock on door ] There's my boy.

[ Knock on door ] There's my boy. What's up, champ?

There's my boy. What's up, champ? That's all I get?

What's up, champ? That's all I get?

That's all I get?

Your mom home?

Your mom home? No.

Your mom home? No. All right.

No. All right. Well, uh, give her this.

All right. Well, uh, give her this. $50? That's it?

Well, uh, give her this. $50? That's it? What's up with all this

$50? That's it? What's up with all this sarcasm?

What's up with all this sarcasm? Look, Dad, Mom needs us.

sarcasm? Look, Dad, Mom needs us. Man, we got to step up.

♪♪ Yeah, all right. All right. So, I'll see you in a minute.

Yeah, all right. All right. So, I'll see you in a minute. Hey. Bring some food, all right?

So, I'll see you in a minute. Hey. Bring some food, all right? All right, cool.

Hey. Bring some food, all right? All right, cool. Hey, Alec, can you grab one

All right, cool. Hey, Alec, can you grab one end and help me with this?

Hey, Alec, can you grab one end and help me with this? Can I get half your check?

end and help me with this? Can I get half your check? [ Cellphone ringing ]

Can I get half your check? [ Cellphone ringing ] Do you mind if I take this

[ Cellphone ringing ] Do you mind if I take this call?

Do you mind if I take this call? It's kind of important.

call? It's kind of important. [ Ringing continues ]

It's kind of important. [ Ringing continues ] Hello?

[ Ringing continues ] Hello? What's up, Jake?

Hello? What's up, Jake? What?!

What's up, Jake? What?! I don't give them the impression

What?! I don't give them the impression that you're a bad father.

I don't give them the impression that you're a bad father. No. What they think of you comes

that you're a bad father. No. What they think of you comes from you, not me.

No. What they think of you comes from you, not me. Listen, I can't talk about this

from you, not me. Listen, I can't talk about this right now, okay?

Listen, I can't talk about this right now, okay? I'm at work.

right now, okay? I'm at work. All right. Bye.

I'm at work. All right. Bye.

Everything all right? Yeah. Fine. Thank you.

Hey. What's up, my man? 'Sup? Bring me something today?

'Sup? Bring me something today? Heh.

Bring me something today? Heh. So, how much can I get for all

Heh. So, how much can I get for all this?

So, how much can I get for all this? [ Clears throat ]

this? [ Clears throat ] So, um, I'm done for the night.

[ Clears throat ] So, um, I'm done for the night. Um...I was wondering if I could

So, um, I'm done for the night. Um...I was wondering if I could leave this for you.

Um...I was wondering if I could leave this for you. Every year my kids and I -- we

leave this for you. Every year my kids and I -- we volunteer at a children's home.

Every year my kids and I -- we volunteer at a children's home. We just deliver gifts, prepare

volunteer at a children's home. We just deliver gifts, prepare meals, sing Christmas carols.

We just deliver gifts, prepare meals, sing Christmas carols. And, um, I thought it might be

meals, sing Christmas carols. And, um, I thought it might be nice if, uh, a real football

And, um, I thought it might be nice if, uh, a real football player showed up.

nice if, uh, a real football player showed up. You wouldn't have to stay very

player showed up. You wouldn't have to stay very long -- just a little bit of

You wouldn't have to stay very long -- just a little bit of your time.

long -- just a little bit of your time. Yeah, I'll think about it.

your time. Yeah, I'll think about it. Probably won't be able to make

Yeah, I'll think about it. Probably won't be able to make it, but I'll think about it.

Probably won't be able to make it, but I'll think about it. Are you serious?

it, but I'll think about it. Are you serious? You really wouldn't want to help

Are you serious? You really wouldn't want to help these kids who don't have

You really wouldn't want to help these kids who don't have anyone?

these kids who don't have anyone? I mean, you've been blessed with

anyone? I mean, you've been blessed with so much.

I mean, you've been blessed with so much. You have more than most people

so much. You have more than most people will ever have.

You have more than most people will ever have. You don't want to volunteer an

will ever have. You don't want to volunteer an hour of your time just to make

You don't want to volunteer an hour of your time just to make some kids happy?

hour of your time just to make some kids happy? Haven't you heard the expression

some kids happy? Haven't you heard the expression "To whom much is given, much is

Haven't you heard the expression "To whom much is given, much is required"?

"To whom much is given, much is required"? Yeah, I heard that.

required"? Yeah, I heard that. What's that, "Spider-Man"?

Yeah, I heard that. What's that, "Spider-Man"? No. That's "With great power

What's that, "Spider-Man"? No. That's "With great power comes great responsibility."

No. That's "With great power comes great responsibility." Yeah.

comes great responsibility." Yeah. No, I'm talking about the

Yeah. No, I'm talking about the Bible verse.

No, I'm talking about the Bible verse. "For everyone to whom much is

Bible verse. "For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be

"For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required."

given, from him much will be required." Okay. See, this is the part I

required." Okay. See, this is the part I don't understand.

Okay. See, this is the part I don't understand. Why is it that everybody feels

don't understand. Why is it that everybody feels like you owe 'em something?

Why is it that everybody feels like you owe 'em something? Nobody ever gave me anything

like you owe 'em something? Nobody ever gave me anything free.

Nobody ever gave me anything free. I had to work for everything I

free. I had to work for everything I have.

I had to work for everything I have. Nobody came to see me.

have. Nobody came to see me. So, wait.

Nobody came to see me. So, wait. What you're saying is these kids

So, wait. What you're saying is these kids who don't have anything don't

What you're saying is these kids who don't have anything don't deserve anything?

who don't have anything don't deserve anything? No.

deserve anything? No. I didn't say anything like that.

No. I didn't say anything like that. Or are you saying that it's

I didn't say anything like that. Or are you saying that it's not your responsibility to take

Or are you saying that it's not your responsibility to take care of your brothers and

not your responsibility to take care of your brothers and sisters?

care of your brothers and sisters? Is that what you're saying?

sisters? Is that what you're saying? What I'm saying is that your

Is that what you're saying? What I'm saying is that your money's over there.

Good night, Rex. Good night, Miss Madison.

♪♪ Hello! ♪♪

Hello! ♪♪ ♪♪

♪♪ ♪♪ So, how was your day?

♪♪ So, how was your day? Oh, it was good, sweetheart.

So, how was your day? Oh, it was good, sweetheart. That's -- That's good.

Oh, it was good, sweetheart. That's -- That's good. Yeah.

That's -- That's good. Yeah. But you know what?

Yeah. But you know what? I am so happy to see your face.

But you know what? I am so happy to see your face. Happy to see you, too, Mom.

I am so happy to see your face. Happy to see you, too, Mom. Where's your sister?

Happy to see you, too, Mom. Where's your sister? She's in her room on the

Where's your sister? She's in her room on the phone again.

She's in her room on the phone again. That girl is always yapping,

phone again. That girl is always yapping, huh?

That girl is always yapping, huh? Yeah.

huh? Yeah. Mm.

Yeah. Mm. Heard your dad stopped by today.

Mm. Heard your dad stopped by today. ♪♪

Heard your dad stopped by today. ♪♪ Yes, he did.

♪♪ Yes, he did.

Yes, he did.

You want to talk about it?

You want to talk about it? No. It was more of a

You want to talk about it? No. It was more of a man-to-man thing.

No. It was more of a man-to-man thing. I got it, Mom.

man-to-man thing. I got it, Mom. Oh. Okay.

I got it, Mom. Oh. Okay. Fair enough.

Oh. Okay. Fair enough. But, sweetheart...

Fair enough. But, sweetheart... you know you can always talk to

But, sweetheart... you know you can always talk to me about anything, right?

you know you can always talk to me about anything, right? Yes, Mom.

me about anything, right? Yes, Mom. Okay.

Yes, Mom. Okay. All right.

Okay. All right. All right.

All right. All right. Go back to whatever it was you

All right. Go back to whatever it was you were doing.

Go back to whatever it was you were doing. Chloe!

It says here that you can wait to place your order until next week, but you would have to

wait to place your order until next week, but you would have to pay extra shipping if you wanted

next week, but you would have to pay extra shipping if you wanted to get it by Christmas.

pay extra shipping if you wanted to get it by Christmas. Hey.

to get it by Christmas. Hey. Can I put you on hold for a

Hey. Can I put you on hold for a second?

Can I put you on hold for a second? Hey...Mom.

second? Hey...Mom. "Can I put you on hold for a

Hey...Mom. "Can I put you on hold for a second?"

"Can I put you on hold for a second?" Who are you talking to?

second?" Who are you talking to? Nobody. What's up?

Who are you talking to? Nobody. What's up? Oh, okay.

Nobody. What's up? Oh, okay. Well, I was thinking of going to

Oh, okay. Well, I was thinking of going to get some sushi.

Well, I was thinking of going to get some sushi. Sounds good.

get some sushi. Sounds good. Okay.

Sounds good. Okay. I got some moolah from Alec

Okay. I got some moolah from Alec today.

I got some moolah from Alec today. Makin' progress!

today. Makin' progress! What?

Makin' progress! What? Oh. Unh.

What? Oh. Unh. Okay, Mom.

Oh. Unh. Okay, Mom.

Okay, Mom.

Bye, teenager.

Bye, teenager. ♪♪

Bye, teenager. ♪♪ ♪♪

♪♪ ♪♪ Hey, kids!

♪♪ Hey, kids! ♪♪

Hey, kids! ♪♪ So...what do you think?

♪♪ So...what do you think? Um...you know, we may have to

So...what do you think? Um...you know, we may have to move some furniture around if

Um...you know, we may have to move some furniture around if we put it by the window.

move some furniture around if we put it by the window. What do you think, Jackie?

we put it by the window. What do you think, Jackie? Dad never liked real trees,

What do you think, Jackie? Dad never liked real trees, but...

Dad never liked real trees, but... Well, I do.

but... Well, I do. Yeah, and I do, too.

Well, I do. Yeah, and I do, too. Come over here and help me.

Yeah, and I do, too. Come over here and help me. No, no, no. It's too heavy.

Come over here and help me. No, no, no. It's too heavy. Go and get some scissors.

No, no, no. It's too heavy. Go and get some scissors. ♪♪

Go and get some scissors. ♪♪ ♪♪

♪♪ ♪♪ Jackie.

♪♪ Jackie. Honey, is something bothering

Jackie. Honey, is something bothering you?

Honey, is something bothering you? I see you working so hard,

you? I see you working so hard, and I know you didn't have much

I see you working so hard, and I know you didn't have much money for that tree.

and I know you didn't have much money for that tree. I just wanted to help.

money for that tree. I just wanted to help. Okay, listen -- I don't want

I just wanted to help. Okay, listen -- I don't want you to worry about money, okay?

Okay, listen -- I don't want you to worry about money, okay? You let me handle that.

you to worry about money, okay? You let me handle that. Besides, I know this sounds

You let me handle that. Besides, I know this sounds cheesy, but...

Besides, I know this sounds cheesy, but... as long as we have each other,

cheesy, but... as long as we have each other, I'm good.

as long as we have each other, I'm good. I mean, you kids are --

I'm good. I mean, you kids are -- I'm not a kid, Mom.

I mean, you kids are -- I'm not a kid, Mom. I'm a man.

I'm not a kid, Mom. I'm a man. And I'm the only man in the

I'm a man. And I'm the only man in the house.

And I'm the only man in the house. And I'm gonna find a way to take

house. And I'm gonna find a way to take care of you and Chloe better

And I'm gonna find a way to take care of you and Chloe better than Dad did.

care of you and Chloe better than Dad did. Listen...

than Dad did. Listen... don't be so hard on your dad,

Listen... don't be so hard on your dad, all right?

don't be so hard on your dad, all right? Lighten up.

all right? Lighten up. He's still your father.

Lighten up. He's still your father. And I know you don't see it now,

He's still your father. And I know you don't see it now, but...

And I know you don't see it now, but... he's doing the best that he can.

but... he's doing the best that he can. When I grow up and get

he's doing the best that he can. When I grow up and get married, I'm gonna look out for

When I grow up and get married, I'm gonna look out for my wife and my kids -- and you.

married, I'm gonna look out for my wife and my kids -- and you. You won't have to worry like

my wife and my kids -- and you. You won't have to worry like this.

You won't have to worry like this. You know what?

this. You know what? I'm very proud of you.

You know what? I'm very proud of you. My little man.

I'm very proud of you. My little man. But, hey, don't you grow up on

My little man. But, hey, don't you grow up on me too fast, okay?

But, hey, don't you grow up on me too fast, okay? Okay?

me too fast, okay? Okay? All right.

Okay? All right. Now eat a cookie.

All right. Now eat a cookie.

Laney, I never thought I'd say this, but it feels good paying bill.

say this, but it feels good paying bill. I bet.

paying bill. I bet.

I bet.

So, you're all caught up now?

So, you're all caught up now? Uh, you know, I'm getting

So, you're all caught up now? Uh, you know, I'm getting there, at least for the December

Uh, you know, I'm getting there, at least for the December stuff, and then if I can just

there, at least for the December stuff, and then if I can just stomach working for Alec a

stuff, and then if I can just stomach working for Alec a little longer, then I can put

stomach working for Alec a little longer, then I can put some money toward the January

little longer, then I can put some money toward the January bills and hopefully get some

some money toward the January bills and hopefully get some presents under that tree.

bills and hopefully get some presents under that tree. You sure you can swing all

presents under that tree. You sure you can swing all those expensive gifts?

You sure you can swing all those expensive gifts? Yeah, I don't know about

those expensive gifts? Yeah, I don't know about that.

Yeah, I don't know about that. But I got to get 'em something,

that. But I got to get 'em something, you know?

But I got to get 'em something, you know? I'll get as close as I can.

you know? I'll get as close as I can. Yeah.

I'll get as close as I can. Yeah. What about you?

Yeah. What about you? You ready for Aspen?

What about you? You ready for Aspen? Girl, yes.

You ready for Aspen? Girl, yes. I have all the money I need, so

Girl, yes. I have all the money I need, so all I need is for my baby to

I have all the money I need, so all I need is for my baby to come home.

all I need is for my baby to come home. Mmm.

come home. Mmm. All right.

Mmm. All right. So, listen, I'm assuming that

All right. So, listen, I'm assuming that you're spending Christmas

So, listen, I'm assuming that you're spending Christmas with us?

you're spending Christmas with us? No.

with us? No. That's for you and the kids.

No. That's for you and the kids. Me and Ted can celebrate when he

That's for you and the kids. Me and Ted can celebrate when he comes back, you know,

Me and Ted can celebrate when he comes back, you know, after New Year's Eve, so...

comes back, you know, after New Year's Eve, so... I'm sorry.

after New Year's Eve, so... I'm sorry. When I said I was assuming, I

I'm sorry. When I said I was assuming, I meant I'm insisting that you

When I said I was assuming, I meant I'm insisting that you spend Christmas with us.

meant I'm insisting that you spend Christmas with us. Girl, I was hoping you'd say

spend Christmas with us. Girl, I was hoping you'd say that.

Girl, I was hoping you'd say that. Yes!

that. Yes! It's gonna be so depressing.

Yes! It's gonna be so depressing. Yeah. Oh, can you make the

It's gonna be so depressing. Yeah. Oh, can you make the mac and cheese?

Yeah. Oh, can you make the mac and cheese? Of course.

mac and cheese? Of course. 'Cause yours is better.

Of course. 'Cause yours is better. It is.

'Cause yours is better. It is. Wow.

It is. Wow. [ Clears throat ]

Wow. [ Clears throat ] You answered way too fast.

You got any more of those robots you brought in from the other day?

robots you brought in from the other day? I have one, but it's not for

other day? I have one, but it's not for sale.

I have one, but it's not for sale. That one's my favorite.

sale. That one's my favorite. All right.

That one's my favorite. All right. Well, if you change your mind,

All right. Well, if you change your mind, I can give you a pretty penny.

Would you give me that camera for it? Uh, we might be able to work

for it? Uh, we might be able to work something out.

Uh, we might be able to work something out. All right.

something out. All right. All right.

All right. All right.

All right.

♪♪

♪♪ Alec, Alec, look, I told you

♪♪ Alec, Alec, look, I told you you were in dire straits, huh?

Alec, Alec, look, I told you you were in dire straits, huh? I told you that your money was

you were in dire straits, huh? I told you that your money was dwindling.

I told you that your money was dwindling. What do you do? What do you do?

dwindling. What do you do? What do you do? You go out and hire a new

What do you do? What do you do? You go out and hire a new assistant.

You go out and hire a new assistant. Okay, look...

assistant. Okay, look... I know I'm paying her more than

Okay, look... I know I'm paying her more than I would if I called her on an

I know I'm paying her more than I would if I called her on an as-needed basis, but I'm paying

I would if I called her on an as-needed basis, but I'm paying her less than I was paying

as-needed basis, but I'm paying her less than I was paying everybody else, all right?

her less than I was paying everybody else, all right? I like having her, Hank.

everybody else, all right? I like having her, Hank. She's smart. She's talented.

I like having her, Hank. She's smart. She's talented. She's got more hustle than half

She's smart. She's talented. She's got more hustle than half the guys I played football with.

She's got more hustle than half the guys I played football with. All right?

the guys I played football with. All right? She's not bad on the eyes,

All right? She's not bad on the eyes, either.

She's not bad on the eyes, either. What?

either. What? I know you, boy.

What? I know you, boy. You can do all this stuff

I know you, boy. You can do all this stuff yourself, so you tell me what

You can do all this stuff yourself, so you tell me what the real reason is you want to

yourself, so you tell me what the real reason is you want to have this woman around...

the real reason is you want to have this woman around... if you're so pressed about it.

have this woman around... if you're so pressed about it. Pressed?

if you're so pressed about it. Pressed? When have I ever been pressed

Pressed? When have I ever been pressed about a woman, Hank?

When have I ever been pressed about a woman, Hank? The last time you was in

about a woman, Hank? The last time you was in love.

The last time you was in love. Oh, love? Okay.

love. Oh, love? Okay. It's not even close to that,

Oh, love? Okay. It's not even close to that, man.

It's not even close to that, man. You're reaching.

man. You're reaching. Okay, fine.

You're reaching. Okay, fine. Then I suggest you let her go.

Okay, fine. Then I suggest you let her go. Uh, no. No. Can't do it.

Then I suggest you let her go. Uh, no. No. Can't do it. I'm not letting her go, Hank.

Uh, no. No. Can't do it. I'm not letting her go, Hank. Oh. All right.

I'm not letting her go, Hank. Oh. All right. I get it.

Oh. All right. I get it. Alec to the rescue.

I get it. Alec to the rescue. Okay, listen...

Alec to the rescue. Okay, listen... forget all that.

Okay, listen... forget all that. I'm having a little

forget all that. I'm having a little pre-Christmas get-together

I'm having a little pre-Christmas get-together tonight at the house.

pre-Christmas get-together tonight at the house. You and Alyssa should come.

tonight at the house. You and Alyssa should come. Yeah, we'll try to stop by,

You and Alyssa should come. Yeah, we'll try to stop by, but, uh, you make sure that it's

Yeah, we'll try to stop by, but, uh, you make sure that it's potluck, huh?

but, uh, you make sure that it's potluck, huh? Because you're damn near busted,

potluck, huh? Because you're damn near busted, boy.

Because you're damn near busted, boy. Goodbye.

boy. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

All right, man.

All right, man. ♪♪

All right, man. ♪♪ ♪♪

♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪

♪♪ ♪♪ [ Engine sputters ]

[ Engine sputters ] No! No, no, no, no! ♪♪

No! No, no, no, no! ♪♪

♪♪

Hey, baby.

Hey, baby.

Hey, baby.

What did they say it was?

What did they say it was? A blown head gasket.

What did they say it was? A blown head gasket. How much is it gonna cost to

A blown head gasket. How much is it gonna cost to get it fixed?

How much is it gonna cost to get it fixed? Chloe, mind your business.

Hey, listen... Where am I gonna get $2,000?

Hey, listen... Where am I gonna get $2,000? Madison, I took this cash

Where am I gonna get $2,000? Madison, I took this cash out.

Madison, I took this cash out. You can use it to help you get

out. You can use it to help you get your car fixed.

You can use it to help you get your car fixed. No, Laney.

your car fixed. No, Laney. I'm not gonna take your money.

No, Laney. I'm not gonna take your money. You and Ted have been apart for

I'm not gonna take your money. You and Ted have been apart for almost a year.

You and Ted have been apart for almost a year. You need this vacation.

almost a year. You need this vacation. I know, but --

You need this vacation. I know, but -- No.

I know, but -- No. Why won't you ever let anyone

No. Why won't you ever let anyone help you?

Why won't you ever let anyone help you? I do let people help me.

help you? I do let people help me. No, you don't.

I do let people help me. No, you don't. You don't always have to be

No, you don't. You don't always have to be superwoman, you know.

You don't always have to be superwoman, you know. It's okay to accept help.

superwoman, you know. It's okay to accept help. I'm not a superwoman.

It's okay to accept help. I'm not a superwoman. I just --

I'm not a superwoman. I just -- Prideful.

I just -- Prideful. Black women always too proud to

Prideful. Black women always too proud to ask for help because we feel

Black women always too proud to ask for help because we feel like we have to prove that we

ask for help because we feel like we have to prove that we can do everything on our own.

like we have to prove that we can do everything on our own. That's a big lie, you know.

can do everything on our own. That's a big lie, you know. Is it?

That's a big lie, you know. Is it? Because I actually do have to do

Is it? Because I actually do have to do everything on my own.

Because I actually do have to do everything on my own. I'm not lucky enough to have a

everything on my own. I'm not lucky enough to have a man who provides for me.

I'm not lucky enough to have a man who provides for me. I'm real lucky?

man who provides for me. I'm real lucky? Really, Madison?

I'm real lucky? Really, Madison? My husband is gone for months

Really, Madison? My husband is gone for months on end.

My husband is gone for months on end. Every night I pray that he

on end. Every night I pray that he doesn't come home in a box.

Every night I pray that he doesn't come home in a box. Yes, I get the money that comes

doesn't come home in a box. Yes, I get the money that comes on the regular.

Yes, I get the money that comes on the regular. I'd work 10 jobs if that meant

on the regular. I'd work 10 jobs if that meant having him home every night.

I'd work 10 jobs if that meant having him home every night. Laney...

having him home every night. Laney... hey.

Laney... hey. I'm sorry.

hey. I'm sorry. I know how much you guys

I'm sorry. I know how much you guys sacrifice.

I know how much you guys sacrifice. I just --

sacrifice. I just -- Just take the --

I just -- Just take the -- No. Stop. No.

Just take the -- No. Stop. No. [ Cellphone rings ]

No. Stop. No. [ Cellphone rings ] Hello?

[ Cellphone rings ] Hello? Yes. This is her speaking.

Hello? Yes. This is her speaking. What?!

Yes. This is her speaking. What?! No, no, no!

What?! No, no, no! You don't let them take him

No, no, no! You don't let them take him anywhere!

You don't let them take him anywhere! I am on my way! Yes.

anywhere! I am on my way! Yes. Madison, what's wrong?

I am on my way! Yes. Madison, what's wrong? Jackie's in trouble.

Madison, what's wrong? Jackie's in trouble. Chloe, grab your stuff!

Jackie's in trouble. Chloe, grab your stuff! Let's go!

Chloe, grab your stuff! Let's go! I don't know why...

Let's go! I don't know why... I literally walk past his

I don't know why... I literally walk past his toys every single day.

I literally walk past his toys every single day. I would know...

toys every single day. I would know... Are you lying to me now?

I would know... Are you lying to me now? If everybody could just lower

Are you lying to me now? If everybody could just lower their voice!

If everybody could just lower their voice! [ Blows whistle ]

their voice! [ Blows whistle ] Really?

[ Blows whistle ] Really? Let's settle down.

Really? Let's settle down. I-I was trying to tell this

Let's settle down. I-I was trying to tell this dude that your boy is a good

I-I was trying to tell this dude that your boy is a good kid.

dude that your boy is a good kid. Then why is he parading in

kid. Then why is he parading in and out of here with stolen

Then why is he parading in and out of here with stolen goods?

and out of here with stolen goods? Okay. My son doesn't steal.

goods? Okay. My son doesn't steal. Jackie, you need to start

Okay. My son doesn't steal. Jackie, you need to start talking right now.

Jackie, you need to start talking right now. This is my stuff from my

talking right now. This is my stuff from my room, Mom.

This is my stuff from my room, Mom. See?

room, Mom. See? Why are you selling your

See? Why are you selling your stuff?

Why are you selling your stuff? 'Cause we need money.

stuff? 'Cause we need money. And I see you and Chloe working

'Cause we need money. And I see you and Chloe working so hard.

And I see you and Chloe working so hard. What do you mean you see m--

so hard. What do you mean you see m-- What are you talking about?

What do you mean you see m-- What are you talking about? Yeah, what are you talking

What are you talking about? Yeah, what are you talking about, Jackie?

Yeah, what are you talking about, Jackie? I was just trying to help.

about, Jackie? I was just trying to help. Because you're the man of the

I was just trying to help. Because you're the man of the house.

Because you're the man of the house. Okay. Let's talk about this

house. Okay. Let's talk about this when we get home.

Okay. Let's talk about this when we get home. Rent-a-cop, can we leave now?

when we get home. Rent-a-cop, can we leave now? Look, kid, you need to be

Rent-a-cop, can we leave now? Look, kid, you need to be careful about --

Look, kid, you need to be careful about -- About what?

careful about -- About what? Selling his own things to try

About what? Selling his own things to try and help out his family?

Selling his own things to try and help out his family? Do you even know the law?

and help out his family? Do you even know the law? Look --

Do you even know the law? Look -- Shh.

Look -- Shh. Thank you.

Shh. Thank you. How much to buy my son's things

Thank you. How much to buy my son's things back?

How much to buy my son's things back? Mom --

back? Mom -- Jackie.

Mom -- Jackie. How much?

Jackie. How much? Hey, hey, hey, guys.

How much? Hey, hey, hey, guys. Wh-What's going on?

Hey, hey, hey, guys. Wh-What's going on? Can y'all please go to the

Wh-What's going on? Can y'all please go to the car?

Can somebody tell me what's going on? ♪♪

going on? ♪♪ [ Sighs]

♪♪ [ Sighs] Jackie, go to your room.

[ Sighs] Jackie, go to your room. We'll talk about this tomorrow.

Jackie, go to your room. We'll talk about this tomorrow.

We'll talk about this tomorrow.

You got to be kidding me with

You got to be kidding me with this day.

You got to be kidding me with this day. Well, now you can go and get

this day. Well, now you can go and get you some rest.

Well, now you can go and get you some rest. Oh, my gosh!

you some rest. Oh, my gosh! Alec's party!

Oh, my gosh! Alec's party!

Alec's party!

Hot!

Hot! Whoa.

Hot! Whoa. Where is your help?

Whoa. Where is your help? I don't know, but clearly not

Where is your help? I don't know, but clearly not here.

I don't know, but clearly not here. Hey, could you do me a favor?

here. Hey, could you do me a favor? Could you grab me a broom,

Hey, could you do me a favor? Could you grab me a broom, please?

Could you grab me a broom, please? No, no, no.

please? No, no, no. Matter of fact, you see those

No, no, no. Matter of fact, you see those guys over there?

Matter of fact, you see those guys over there? They need drinks.

guys over there? They need drinks. Can you grab a couple drinks for

They need drinks. Can you grab a couple drinks for me, please?

Can you grab a couple drinks for me, please? Just -- Just something.

me, please? Just -- Just something. Thank you. Thank you.

♪ Silent night ♪ ♪ Holy night ♪ ♪ All is calm ♪

♪ Holy night ♪ ♪ All is calm ♪ ♪ All is bright ♪

♪ All is calm ♪ ♪ All is bright ♪ ♪ Round yon Virgin ♪

♪ All is bright ♪ ♪ Round yon Virgin ♪ ♪ Mother and child ♪

♪ Round yon Virgin ♪ ♪ Mother and child ♪ ♪ Holy Infant ♪

♪ Mother and child ♪ ♪ Holy Infant ♪ ♪ So tender and mild ♪

♪ Holy Infant ♪ ♪ So tender and mild ♪ pea-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ce ♪

♪ So tender and mild ♪ pea-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ce ♪

pea-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ce ♪

[ Knock on door ]

[ Inhales deeply, sighs ]

[ Knock on door ]

Alec.

Alec. Hey.

Alec. Hey. So sorry I'm late.

Hey. So sorry I'm late. My car blew a gasket and I had

So sorry I'm late. My car blew a gasket and I had to get it towed, and then my son

My car blew a gasket and I had to get it towed, and then my son almost got arrested because they

to get it towed, and then my son almost got arrested because they thought he was stealing his own

almost got arrested because they thought he was stealing his own stuff.

thought he was stealing his own stuff. I went to this novelty store --

stuff. I went to this novelty store -- Okay, okay, hey, listen --

I went to this novelty store -- Okay, okay, hey, listen -- we'll talk about it later,

Okay, okay, hey, listen -- we'll talk about it later, all right?

we'll talk about it later, all right? Just come on in and get to work.

all right? Just come on in and get to work. Okay.

Just come on in and get to work. Okay. Show me what you need me to do.

Okay. Show me what you need me to do. Okay.

Show me what you need me to do. Okay. [ Conversations continue ]

Okay. [ Conversations continue ] Alec, what happened to your

[ Conversations continue ] Alec, what happened to your old maid and butler?

Alec, what happened to your old maid and butler? They were so much better than

old maid and butler? They were so much better than this girl.

They were so much better than this girl. Straight up, bro.

this girl. Straight up, bro. She's black.

Straight up, bro. She's black. I mean, I vote that you bring

She's black. I mean, I vote that you bring back Benson and Florence,

I mean, I vote that you bring back Benson and Florence, for crying out loud.

back Benson and Florence, for crying out loud. This chick look like

for crying out loud. This chick look like somebody's soccer mom.

This chick look like somebody's soccer mom. Where'd you find her at?

somebody's soccer mom. Where'd you find her at? Come on, guys.

Where'd you find her at? Come on, guys. Straight up.

Come on, guys. Straight up. No, no, Alec, seriously --

Straight up. No, no, Alec, seriously -- tell your girl to fix me another

No, no, Alec, seriously -- tell your girl to fix me another drink.

tell your girl to fix me another drink. I'm thirsty.

drink. I'm thirsty. That's it.

I'm thirsty. That's it. You know what?!

That's it. You know what?! That is...it!

You know what?! That is...it! Here we go.

That is...it! Here we go. I've had one of the worst

Here we go. I've had one of the worst days, maybe one of the worst

I've had one of the worst days, maybe one of the worst months, of my entire life, and

days, maybe one of the worst months, of my entire life, and all you people care about is

months, of my entire life, and all you people care about is comparing your superficial,

all you people care about is comparing your superficial, material conquests and, sadly,

comparing your superficial, material conquests and, sadly, how quickly you can get

material conquests and, sadly, how quickly you can get inebriated so you can escape the

how quickly you can get inebriated so you can escape the doldrums of your empty, vapid

inebriated so you can escape the doldrums of your empty, vapid conversations!

doldrums of your empty, vapid conversations! So what if I'm the maid or the

conversations! So what if I'm the maid or the waitress or the housekeeper or

So what if I'm the maid or the waitress or the housekeeper or the soccer mom?

waitress or the housekeeper or the soccer mom? It doesn't give you license to

the soccer mom? It doesn't give you license to disrespect me!

It doesn't give you license to disrespect me! I also happen to be a-a strong

disrespect me! I also happen to be a-a strong and virtuous woman who gets up

I also happen to be a-a strong and virtuous woman who gets up and does whatever I have to do

and virtuous woman who gets up and does whatever I have to do every day so I can take care of

and does whatever I have to do every day so I can take care of two of the most wonderful,

every day so I can take care of two of the most wonderful, amazing children that you'd ever

two of the most wonderful, amazing children that you'd ever have the honor to meet, and I

amazing children that you'd ever have the honor to meet, and I appreciate them that much more

have the honor to meet, and I appreciate them that much more in a room full of arrogant,

appreciate them that much more in a room full of arrogant, immature, imbecile,

in a room full of arrogant, immature, imbecile, insufferable, imperious,

immature, imbecile, insufferable, imperious, self-indulgent snobs!

insufferable, imperious, self-indulgent snobs! So, Alec, the fact that you

self-indulgent snobs! So, Alec, the fact that you clamor for the approval of these

So, Alec, the fact that you clamor for the approval of these people because of your antics

clamor for the approval of these people because of your antics rather than have them respect

people because of your antics rather than have them respect you and esteem you for your

rather than have them respect you and esteem you for your talent, you just stand there,

you and esteem you for your talent, you just stand there, is absurd!

talent, you just stand there, is absurd! I quit.

is absurd! I quit. I'm done.

I quit. I'm done. Thank you all.

I'm done. Thank you all. Good night.

Thank you all. Good night. ♪♪

Good night. ♪♪ ♪♪

♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪

♪♪ ♪♪ Hey, Rex, Google "imperious."

Well, actually, I'm available right now. Oh, okay.

right now. Oh, okay. Yeah, after the first

Oh, okay. Yeah, after the first of the year.

Yeah, after the first of the year. Mm-hmm.

of the year. Mm-hmm. Well, I can work part-time

Mm-hmm. Well, I can work part-time until --

Well, I can work part-time until -- Gotcha.

until -- Gotcha. Yeah, no. That's fine.

Gotcha. Yeah, no. That's fine. I'll check back.

Yeah, no. That's fine. I'll check back. So, you said somewhere around

I'll check back. So, you said somewhere around January 10th?

So, you said somewhere around January 10th? Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah.

January 10th? Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah. No, thank you so much.

Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah. No, thank you so much. Bye-bye.

No, thank you so much. Bye-bye. Any luck?

Bye-bye. Any luck? Nope.

Any luck? Nope. But, um, you know, I'll find

Nope. But, um, you know, I'll find something.

But, um, you know, I'll find something. I've got some strong leads.

something. I've got some strong leads. Uh, Jackie?

I've got some strong leads. Uh, Jackie? Sweetheart, come here.

Uh, Jackie? Sweetheart, come here. Have a seat.

Sweetheart, come here. Have a seat. So...

Have a seat. So... I know I promised you guys that

So... I know I promised you guys that I would get you those things for

I know I promised you guys that I would get you those things for Christmas.

I would get you those things for Christmas. Mom, it's fine.

Christmas. Mom, it's fine. Well, no.

Mom, it's fine. Well, no. I'm still gonna get it.

Well, no. I'm still gonna get it. It's just that it'll probably be

I'm still gonna get it. It's just that it'll probably be after Christmas, all right?

It's just that it'll probably be after Christmas, all right? Um, I can get you something

after Christmas, all right? Um, I can get you something small till then, though.

Um, I can get you something small till then, though. Mom, you don't have to get me

small till then, though. Mom, you don't have to get me anything.

Mom, you don't have to get me anything. Well, did I tell you that I

anything. Well, did I tell you that I think I got this thing with the

Well, did I tell you that I think I got this thing with the IRS all worked out?

think I got this thing with the IRS all worked out? So, I submitted this form that

IRS all worked out? So, I submitted this form that said it would basically be like

So, I submitted this form that said it would basically be like a financial hardship if they

said it would basically be like a financial hardship if they drain my account, so I-I'll

a financial hardship if they drain my account, so I-I'll still have to pay them back, but

drain my account, so I-I'll still have to pay them back, but I can probably do, like, an

still have to pay them back, but I can probably do, like, an installment plan, so that means

I can probably do, like, an installment plan, so that means I can still get you both

installment plan, so that means I can still get you both something cool for Christmas.

I can still get you both something cool for Christmas. I have some more stuff I can

something cool for Christmas. I have some more stuff I can sell.

I have some more stuff I can sell. I got a job.

sell. I got a job. What?

I got a job. What? I got a job.

What? I got a job. It's like call-center work for

I got a job. It's like call-center work for an online photography store.

It's like call-center work for an online photography store. Okay. Chloe, I told you that

an online photography store. Okay. Chloe, I told you that I didn't want you working, and I

Okay. Chloe, I told you that I didn't want you working, and I also told you that I have things

I didn't want you working, and I also told you that I have things under control, and, Jackie,

also told you that I have things under control, and, Jackie, no more selling stuff.

under control, and, Jackie, no more selling stuff. You see where that got you the

no more selling stuff. You see where that got you the last time.

You see where that got you the last time. Mom, why don't you let us

last time. Mom, why don't you let us help?

Mom, why don't you let us help? I mean, I'm old enough to help.

help? I mean, I'm old enough to help. Even when Dad was here, you did

I mean, I'm old enough to help. Even when Dad was here, you did everything.

Even when Dad was here, you did everything. Yeah.

everything. Yeah. Well, that's because I had to.

Yeah. Well, that's because I had to. Okay, but maybe if you hadn't

Well, that's because I had to. Okay, but maybe if you hadn't been superwoman, he would have

Okay, but maybe if you hadn't been superwoman, he would have picked up the slack.

been superwoman, he would have picked up the slack. Chloe.

picked up the slack. Chloe. I'm just saying, Mom, you

Chloe. I'm just saying, Mom, you don't have to do everything.

I'm just saying, Mom, you don't have to do everything. It's okay to ask for help and to

don't have to do everything. It's okay to ask for help and to accept it.

It's okay to ask for help and to accept it. Mom, we know you love us, and

accept it. Mom, we know you love us, and you don't have to buy some

Mom, we know you love us, and you don't have to buy some present to prove that.

you don't have to buy some present to prove that. I got some money in my

present to prove that. I got some money in my account.

I got some money in my account. I can give it to you.

account. I can give it to you. Okay.

I can give it to you. Okay. Chloe [Sighs] I appreciate what

Okay. Chloe [Sighs] I appreciate what you're both trying to do, and I

Chloe [Sighs] I appreciate what you're both trying to do, and I appreciate what you've just

you're both trying to do, and I appreciate what you've just said.

appreciate what you've just said. If you want to do something with

said. If you want to do something with your money, just get your

If you want to do something with your money, just get your brother and yourself a Christmas

your money, just get your brother and yourself a Christmas present.

brother and yourself a Christmas present. Mom.

present. Mom. No.

Mom. No. You want to make me happy?

No. You want to make me happy? That would make me very, very

You want to make me happy? That would make me very, very happy.

That would make me very, very happy. All right?

happy. All right? I love both of you.

All right? I love both of you. I'm gonna go finish making

I love both of you. I'm gonna go finish making lunch.

I'm gonna go finish making lunch. Love you, too, Mom.

lunch. Love you, too, Mom. We love you, too.

Love you, too, Mom. We love you, too. I'm keeping my job.

We love you, too. I'm keeping my job. We'll see.

You ready, cupcake? Let's do this.

You ready, cupcake? Let's do this. Come on.

Let's do this. Come on. Everybody quiet on the set!

Come on. Everybody quiet on the set! Here we go in 5...

Everybody quiet on the set! Here we go in 5... 4...

Here we go in 5... 4... 3...

4... 3... 2...

3... 2... 1.

2... 1. Hey, I tell you what --

1. Hey, I tell you what -- those Browns are looking good

Hey, I tell you what -- those Browns are looking good this year.

those Browns are looking good this year. This Grady Jarrett --

this year. This Grady Jarrett -- he's a beast.

This Grady Jarrett -- he's a beast. He'll be lucky if he's as good

he's a beast. He'll be lucky if he's as good as me when he grows up.

He'll be lucky if he's as good as me when he grows up. Ha ha!

as me when he grows up. Ha ha! Back to you, Jim.

Ha ha! Back to you, Jim. Is that good?

Back to you, Jim. Is that good? Yeah. It was...perfect.

Is that good? Yeah. It was...perfect. I mean, I can do it again.

Yeah. It was...perfect. I mean, I can do it again. Nah.

I mean, I can do it again. Nah. More experience, yeah.

Nah. More experience, yeah. I mean, obviously, more

More experience, yeah. I mean, obviously, more experience.

I mean, obviously, more experience. This place is like the mecca of

experience. This place is like the mecca of bookstores.

This place is like the mecca of bookstores. I mean, this place is like if

bookstores. I mean, this place is like if you're gonna -- you're gonna go

I mean, this place is like if you're gonna -- you're gonna go and have a spiritual sojourn to,

you're gonna -- you're gonna go and have a spiritual sojourn to, like, touch the wall of

and have a spiritual sojourn to, like, touch the wall of greatness, this is where you

like, touch the wall of greatness, this is where you come when it comes to

greatness, this is where you come when it comes to bookstores.

come when it comes to bookstores. Hey, champ.

bookstores. Hey, champ. The verdict's in.

Hey, champ. The verdict's in. What's up?

The verdict's in. What's up? Pass.

What's up? Pass.

Pass.

Pass?

Pass? I mean, who could have more

Pass? I mean, who could have more experience to talk about

I mean, who could have more experience to talk about football than a football player?

experience to talk about football than a football player? Maybe you're just too good.

football than a football player? Maybe you're just too good. Oh, man.

Any luck getting your boo Madison back? Mnh-mnh. Nah.

Madison back? Mnh-mnh. Nah. And she's not my boo, man.

Mnh-mnh. Nah. And she's not my boo, man. Knock that off.

And she's not my boo, man. Knock that off. If you say so.

Knock that off. If you say so. How did that audition go?

If you say so. How did that audition go? You know...

How did that audition go? You know... they still love your boy.

You know... they still love your boy. What's wrong with you?

they still love your boy. What's wrong with you? You're sitting over here looking

What's wrong with you? You're sitting over here looking like a man that lost his dog.

You're sitting over here looking like a man that lost his dog. Miss her, huh?

like a man that lost his dog. Miss her, huh? No, man. I don't know what

Miss her, huh? No, man. I don't know what you're talking about.

No, man. I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, you don't know what I'm

you're talking about. Oh, you don't know what I'm talking about?

Oh, you don't know what I'm talking about? Hey, it'll make you feel a lot

talking about? Hey, it'll make you feel a lot better if you just say it.

Hey, it'll make you feel a lot better if you just say it. "I...miss...Madison."

better if you just say it. "I...miss...Madison." Say it.

"I...miss...Madison." Say it. "I...miss..."

Say it. "I...miss..." All right. All right, man.

"I...miss..." All right. All right, man. All right. All right.

All right. All right, man. All right. All right. I miss her.

All right. All right. I miss her. I know you do.

I miss her. I know you do. I mean, the woman is just

I know you do. I mean, the woman is just great at everything, man --

I mean, the woman is just great at everything, man -- everything.

great at everything, man -- everything. No matter what it was I asked

everything. No matter what it was I asked her to do, she was great at it.

No matter what it was I asked her to do, she was great at it. Come on.

her to do, she was great at it. Come on. You like more than her ability

Come on. You like more than her ability to do tasks and run errands.

You like more than her ability to do tasks and run errands. You think she fine as hell, huh?

to do tasks and run errands. You think she fine as hell, huh? I mean, I think she's fine as

You think she fine as hell, huh? I mean, I think she's fine as hell, so I know you think she's

I mean, I think she's fine as hell, so I know you think she's fine as hell.

hell, so I know you think she's fine as hell. All right. Yeah, yeah.

fine as hell. All right. Yeah, yeah. She's attractive.

All right. Yeah, yeah. She's attractive. But, Rex, we've been at this a

She's attractive. But, Rex, we've been at this a long time, man.

But, Rex, we've been at this a long time, man. "Fine" is not a problem.

long time, man. "Fine" is not a problem. There's something different

"Fine" is not a problem. There's something different about her.

There's something different about her. She's got this...

about her. She's got this... purity in her spirit.

She's got this... purity in her spirit. Makes me look at the world

purity in her spirit. Makes me look at the world different.

Makes me look at the world different. Makes me feel...

different. Makes me feel... grounded.

Makes me feel... grounded. She's just a really good person,

grounded. She's just a really good person, man.

She's just a really good person, man. Makes me want to be a better

man. Makes me want to be a better person.

Makes me want to be a better person. And I don't know what to do to

person. And I don't know what to do to get her back around here.

And I don't know what to do to get her back around here. I do.

So, I have everything I need for my trip. Now all I need is my baby.

for my trip. Now all I need is my baby. Well, it won't be too long.

Now all I need is my baby. Well, it won't be too long. I can't wait till Christmas

Well, it won't be too long. I can't wait till Christmas is over.

I can't wait till Christmas is over. What kind of Christmas spirit

is over. What kind of Christmas spirit is that?

What kind of Christmas spirit is that?

is that?

Hey, did you know Chloe has a

Hey, did you know Chloe has a job?

Hey, did you know Chloe has a job? I knew something was up.

job? I knew something was up. Yeah, well, she's insisting

I knew something was up. Yeah, well, she's insisting on buying the food for Christmas

Yeah, well, she's insisting on buying the food for Christmas dinner.

on buying the food for Christmas dinner. Aww.

dinner. Aww. And I'm gonna let her.

Aww. And I'm gonna let her. What?!

And I'm gonna let her. What?! You're actually gonna let Chloe

What?! You're actually gonna let Chloe help you?

You're actually gonna let Chloe help you? Ohh!

help you? Ohh! Yes, I am.

Ohh! Yes, I am. And she's letting me pay my

Yes, I am. And she's letting me pay my own phone bill -- and Jackie's.

And she's letting me pay my own phone bill -- and Jackie's. And I'm also letting them buy

own phone bill -- and Jackie's. And I'm also letting them buy each other gifts.

And I'm also letting them buy each other gifts. Well, I guess there's some

each other gifts. Well, I guess there's some hope for people after all.

Well, I guess there's some hope for people after all. Right?

hope for people after all. Right? I guess...there is.

Right? I guess...there is. Oh, my God.

I guess...there is. Oh, my God. Um, I thought you didn't do

Oh, my God. Um, I thought you didn't do stuff like this.

Um, I thought you didn't do stuff like this. Yeah, I don't.

stuff like this. Yeah, I don't. I didn't.

Yeah, I don't. I didn't. Number 6, Alec Darby!

I didn't. Number 6, Alec Darby! [ Cheers and applause ]

Number 6, Alec Darby! [ Cheers and applause ] People change, right?

[ Cheers and applause ] People change, right? How you doing? How you doing?

People change, right? How you doing? How you doing? Merry Christmas, merry

How you doing? How you doing? Merry Christmas, merry Christmas, merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, merry Christmas, merry Christmas. Hey, Madison.

Christmas, merry Christmas. Hey, Madison. Yeah?

Hey, Madison. Yeah? Listen, um...

Yeah? Listen, um... I owe you an apology.

Listen, um... I owe you an apology. Yeah, my friends were...

I owe you an apology. Yeah, my friends were... extremely rude to you.

Yeah, my friends were... extremely rude to you. And, uh...

extremely rude to you. And, uh... as much as I hate to admit it,

And, uh... as much as I hate to admit it, so was I.

as much as I hate to admit it, so was I. I'm sorry.

so was I. I'm sorry. And I really miss...

I'm sorry. And I really miss... you working for me.

And I really miss... you working for me. I want you to come back.

you working for me. I want you to come back. I'll pay triple.

I want you to come back. I'll pay triple. Triple?

I'll pay triple. Triple? Yeah.

Triple? Yeah. You've got yourself a driver.

Yeah. You've got yourself a driver. Good.

You've got yourself a driver. Good. Oh.

Good. Oh. I don't have a car.

Oh. I don't have a car. Oh, no. Don't worry about it.

I don't have a car. Oh, no. Don't worry about it. I'll -- I'll take care of it.

Oh, no. Don't worry about it. I'll -- I'll take care of it. Just be ready and I'll...

I'll -- I'll take care of it. Just be ready and I'll... come by your place at 7:00.

Just be ready and I'll... come by your place at 7:00. 7:00? Perfect.

come by your place at 7:00. 7:00? Perfect. Oh, and, hey...

7:00? Perfect. Oh, and, hey... this was really cool.

Oh, and, hey... this was really cool. Thank you for the invitation.

this was really cool. Thank you for the invitation. It was cool.

Thank you for the invitation. It was cool. Thank you for coming.

It was cool. Thank you for coming. "To whom much is given,"

Thank you for coming. "To whom much is given," right?

"To whom much is given," right? Right.

Finally found you a gift. I got you something, too, bighead.

I got you something, too, bighead. [ Chuckles softly ]

bighead. [ Chuckles softly ] What about Mom?

[ Chuckles softly ] What about Mom? What about Mom?

What about Mom? What about Mom? You got any money left?

What about Mom? You got any money left? Not since I'm buying

You got any money left? Not since I'm buying Christmas dinner.

Not since I'm buying Christmas dinner.

Christmas dinner.

I'll probably be a couple of

I'll probably be a couple of hours, so if you want to take

I'll probably be a couple of hours, so if you want to take this baby for a spin...

hours, so if you want to take this baby for a spin...

this baby for a spin...

Nah. That's okay.

Nah. That's okay. I'll just -- I'll wait for you.

Nah. That's okay. I'll just -- I'll wait for you. All right.

I'll just -- I'll wait for you. All right. Take your time.

All right. Take your time. All right. Thank you.

Take your time. All right. Thank you. Have fun.

All right. Thank you. Have fun. Thanks.

Have fun. Thanks.

Thanks.

♪♪

♪♪ ♪♪

♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪

♪♪ ♪♪ [ Groans softly ]

♪♪ [ Groans softly ] You were only in there like

[ Groans softly ] You were only in there like 20 minutes.

You were only in there like 20 minutes. Yeah, I know.

20 minutes. Yeah, I know.

Yeah, I know.

That was all I could take.

That was all I could take. I don't know what's happening to

That was all I could take. I don't know what's happening to me, but I really did not want to

I don't know what's happening to me, but I really did not want to be there.

me, but I really did not want to be there. Okay. Well...

be there. Okay. Well... I'll take you home.

Okay. Well... I'll take you home. You know what?

I'll take you home. You know what? While we're out...

You know what? While we're out... you want to get dinner?

While we're out... you want to get dinner? Can I tell you a secret?

you want to get dinner? Can I tell you a secret? Ooh, a secret.

Can I tell you a secret? Ooh, a secret. Let me see if I have TMZ's

Ooh, a secret. Let me see if I have TMZ's number still on speed dial.

Let me see if I have TMZ's number still on speed dial. All right, funny lady.

number still on speed dial. All right, funny lady.

All right, funny lady.

No, seriously, you were

No, seriously, you were right...

No, seriously, you were right... about me being broke.

right... about me being broke. Well...almost broke.

about me being broke. Well...almost broke. So...

Well...almost broke. So... I guess this means another glass

So... I guess this means another glass of wine is out of the question,

I guess this means another glass of wine is out of the question, huh?

of wine is out of the question, huh? Can we get another round,

huh? Can we get another round, please?

Can we get another round, please? Thank you.

please? Thank you. You know what your problem is?

Thank you. You know what your problem is? You're too good.

You know what your problem is? You're too good. I am not.

You're too good. I am not. You are.

I am not. You are. Matter of fact, I bet when you

You are. Matter of fact, I bet when you went and had those job

Matter of fact, I bet when you went and had those job interviews, you didn't even tell

went and had those job interviews, you didn't even tell them how awesome you are,

interviews, you didn't even tell them how awesome you are, did you?

them how awesome you are, did you? How smart and talented and

did you? How smart and talented and hardworking you actually are,

How smart and talented and hardworking you actually are, did you?

hardworking you actually are, did you? Okay. Well, you got me there.

did you? Okay. Well, you got me there. See? And that's probably why

Okay. Well, you got me there. See? And that's probably why you didn't get the job.

See? And that's probably why you didn't get the job. You got to learn to sell

you didn't get the job. You got to learn to sell yourself a little better.

You got to learn to sell yourself a little better. Brag on yourself a little bit.

yourself a little better. Brag on yourself a little bit. Oh, you mean like you?

Brag on yourself a little bit. Oh, you mean like you? Well...

Oh, you mean like you? Well... Uh, listen, and you got to

Well... Uh, listen, and you got to learn to do it a little less.

Uh, listen, and you got to learn to do it a little less. Seriously, Alec, there's --

learn to do it a little less. Seriously, Alec, there's -- there's nothing wrong with a

Seriously, Alec, there's -- there's nothing wrong with a little humility.

there's nothing wrong with a little humility. And there's nothing wrong with

little humility. And there's nothing wrong with starting over when you've been

And there's nothing wrong with starting over when you've been to the top.

starting over when you've been to the top. Yeah.

to the top. Yeah. Guess I'm just not used to...

Yeah. Guess I'm just not used to... not being on top.

Guess I'm just not used to... not being on top. That would be completely

not being on top. That would be completely unacceptable if my father was

That would be completely unacceptable if my father was alive.

unacceptable if my father was alive. I'm sorry.

alive. I'm sorry. Nah. Don't be sorry.

I'm sorry. Nah. Don't be sorry. He was...a great man.

Nah. Don't be sorry. He was...a great man. Great man.

He was...a great man. Great man. And when he was here, I was

Great man. And when he was here, I was always the best.

And when he was here, I was always the best. I never failed.

always the best. I never failed. So...

I never failed. So... you're still living under his

So... you're still living under his expectations and that's why

you're still living under his expectations and that's why you're so mean?

expectations and that's why you're so mean? I'm mean?

you're so mean? I'm mean? Oh, okay.

I'm mean? Oh, okay. Here we go with the "people like

Oh, okay. Here we go with the "people like nice guys."

Here we go with the "people like nice guys." People like working with

nice guys." People like working with people they like.

People like working with people they like. Huh. Well...

people they like. Huh. Well... I guess you got me there...

Huh. Well... I guess you got me there... 'cause we work together, and I

I guess you got me there... 'cause we work together, and I like you.

'cause we work together, and I like you. Well, good.

like you. Well, good. So, let's make a deal.

Well, good. So, let's make a deal. You brag a little less...

So, let's make a deal. You brag a little less... and I'll brag a little more.

You brag a little less... and I'll brag a little more. Deal.

and I'll brag a little more. Deal. Wait a minute.

Deal. Wait a minute. You like me?

Wait a minute. You like me? Eh...

You like me? Eh...

Eh...

Well, I like you, too,

Well, I like you, too, Alec Darby.

Well, I like you, too, Alec Darby. Well, that's good to hear.

Alec Darby. Well, that's good to hear. So, tell me, Madison, what is it

Well, that's good to hear. So, tell me, Madison, what is it that you want to do?

So, tell me, Madison, what is it that you want to do?

that you want to do?

What do I want to do?

What do I want to do? Um...you know what?

What do I want to do? Um...you know what? I'll tell you what I want to do.

Um...you know what? I'll tell you what I want to do. I want to work in publishing.

I'll tell you what I want to do. I want to work in publishing. I mean, I love books, but...

I want to work in publishing. I mean, I love books, but... I don't just want to sell them,

I mean, I love books, but... I don't just want to sell them, you know?

I don't just want to sell them, you know? I want to edit them or at

you know? I want to edit them or at least -- I don't know -- maybe

I want to edit them or at least -- I don't know -- maybe work with an editor.

least -- I don't know -- maybe work with an editor. So do it.

work with an editor. So do it. Do it.

So do it. Do it. I mean, you, of all people, can

Do it. I mean, you, of all people, can do anything that you set your

I mean, you, of all people, can do anything that you set your mind to.

do anything that you set your mind to. That I'm sure of.

mind to. That I'm sure of. Okay.

That I'm sure of. Okay. All right.

Okay. All right. And you...

All right. And you... just remember that everything

And you... just remember that everything your dad gave you and taught

just remember that everything your dad gave you and taught you -- it's still there.

your dad gave you and taught you -- it's still there. You just got to use it.

you -- it's still there. You just got to use it. Okay.

You just got to use it. Okay. Copy that.

Okay. Copy that. But only if you agree...

Copy that. But only if you agree... Hmm?

But only if you agree... Hmm? ...to be good to yourself and

Hmm? ...to be good to yourself and let other people be good to you.

...to be good to yourself and let other people be good to you. You don't seem like the type of

let other people be good to you. You don't seem like the type of person that lets people be good

You don't seem like the type of person that lets people be good to you, and you should.

person that lets people be good to you, and you should. You really should.

to you, and you should. You really should. As a matter of fact, let's make

You really should. As a matter of fact, let's make that your New Year's resolution.

As a matter of fact, let's make that your New Year's resolution. Okay.

that your New Year's resolution. Okay. Be good to yourself.

Okay. Be good to yourself. Cheers.

♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪

♪♪ ♪♪ So, I think that the degree

♪♪ So, I think that the degree that I have really loans itself

So, I think that the degree that I have really loans itself to, um, working in this career,

that I have really loans itself to, um, working in this career, and I'm so eager and anxious to

to, um, working in this career, and I'm so eager and anxious to learn, especially from someone

and I'm so eager and anxious to learn, especially from someone like you, but I feel really

learn, especially from someone like you, but I feel really great about where my life is and

like you, but I feel really great about where my life is and the fact that I can fully dive

great about where my life is and the fact that I can fully dive in and fully commit with the

the fact that I can fully dive in and fully commit with the support of my family.

in and fully commit with the support of my family. That's right, ladies and

support of my family. That's right, ladies and gentlemen.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen. There are about to be a lot of

gentlemen. There are about to be a lot of excited Bruins out in

There are about to be a lot of excited Bruins out in Los Angeles because it appears

excited Bruins out in Los Angeles because it appears Caden Sanchez, the rookie

Los Angeles because it appears Caden Sanchez, the rookie speedster out of UCLA who ran a

Caden Sanchez, the rookie speedster out of UCLA who ran a 4.23 at the combine, is poised

speedster out of UCLA who ran a 4.23 at the combine, is poised to take over the starting job at

4.23 at the combine, is poised to take over the starting job at wide receiver.

to take over the starting job at wide receiver. [ Elevator bell dings ]

wide receiver. [ Elevator bell dings ] ♪♪

[ Elevator bell dings ] ♪♪ ♪♪

♪♪ ♪♪ They hired me on the spot.

♪♪ They hired me on the spot. Can you believe it, Alec?

They hired me on the spot. Can you believe it, Alec? I mean, I'm not gonna be an

Can you believe it, Alec? I mean, I'm not gonna be an editor, at least not right away,

I mean, I'm not gonna be an editor, at least not right away, but I will be an editorial

editor, at least not right away, but I will be an editorial assistant.

but I will be an editorial assistant. See?

assistant. See? I told you you could do it!

See? I told you you could do it! Yeah. Thank you for reminding

I told you you could do it! Yeah. Thank you for reminding me of the badass that I actually

Yeah. Thank you for reminding me of the badass that I actually am.

me of the badass that I actually am.

am.

And don't you forget it, either.

And don't you forget it, either.

And don't you forget it, either.

How'd your audition go?

How'd your audition go? Uh, it was all right.

How'd your audition go? Uh, it was all right. I don't think the commentator

Uh, it was all right. I don't think the commentator thing is gonna happen, though.

I don't think the commentator thing is gonna happen, though. I'm starting to feel like it's

thing is gonna happen, though. I'm starting to feel like it's time to move on from football

I'm starting to feel like it's time to move on from football altogether.

time to move on from football altogether. I'm talking to Hank tomorrow

altogether. I'm talking to Hank tomorrow about starting a new business

I'm talking to Hank tomorrow about starting a new business venture from scratch.

about starting a new business venture from scratch. Really? What kind?

venture from scratch. Really? What kind? Ride-sharing.

Really? What kind? Ride-sharing.

Ride-sharing.

Ah, yeah. Okay. Perfect.

Ah, yeah. Okay. Perfect. Yeah.

Ah, yeah. Okay. Perfect. Yeah. Maybe you can come to work.

Yeah. Maybe you can come to work. Don't even think about it.

Maybe you can come to work. Don't even think about it.

Don't even think about it.

Hey, um...

Hey, um... Alec...

Hey, um... Alec... I just want you to know how much

Alec... I just want you to know how much gratitude I have for everything.

I just want you to know how much gratitude I have for everything. I mean, you helped me through in

gratitude I have for everything. I mean, you helped me through in more ways than one.

I mean, you helped me through in more ways than one. Hey, you helped me, too,

more ways than one. Hey, you helped me, too, you know.

Hey, you helped me, too, you know. You ever heard the saying,

you know. You ever heard the saying, "There's a blessing in the

You ever heard the saying, "There's a blessing in the storm"?

"There's a blessing in the storm"? Yeah, of course.

storm"? Yeah, of course. Well, meeting you was the

Yeah, of course. Well, meeting you was the blessing in mine.

Well, meeting you was the blessing in mine. That's a really sweet thing

blessing in mine. That's a really sweet thing to say, Mr. Darby.

That's a really sweet thing to say, Mr. Darby. Merry Christmas, Madison.

to say, Mr. Darby. Merry Christmas, Madison. Merry Christmas, Alec.

Merry Christmas, Madison. Merry Christmas, Alec. ♪♪

Merry Christmas, Alec. ♪♪ Okay. So, the ham is ready.

♪♪ Okay. So, the ham is ready. We're gonna use your glaze

Okay. So, the ham is ready. We're gonna use your glaze 'cause it was so good.

We're gonna use your glaze 'cause it was so good. Well, that's my mom's recipe.

'cause it was so good. Well, that's my mom's recipe. Hey, you guys, cut it out.

Well, that's my mom's recipe. Hey, you guys, cut it out. [ Knock on door ]

Hey, you guys, cut it out. [ Knock on door ] I got it.

[ Knock on door ] I got it. Okay.

I got it. Okay. [ Whispers indistinctly ]

Okay. [ Whispers indistinctly ] Okay.

Hi, there. ♪♪ Hey, baby.

♪♪ Hey, baby. Oh, my God.

Hey, baby. Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God! Come here and give me some

Oh, my God! Come here and give me some sugar.

Come here and give me some sugar. Oh, my God! You're here!

sugar. Oh, my God! You're here!

Oh, my God! You're here!

You're really here!

You're really here! How are you here?!

You're really here! How are you here?! Merry Christmas.

How are you here?! Merry Christmas. Thank you!

Merry Christmas. Thank you! How did you get here?

Thank you! How did you get here? Well, who do you think helped

How did you get here? Well, who do you think helped me set this up?

Well, who do you think helped me set this up? Madison. Come here, girl!

me set this up? Madison. Come here, girl!

Madison. Come here, girl!

I love you!

I love you! I love you. Merry Christmas.

I love you! I love you. Merry Christmas. Thank you.

I love you. Merry Christmas. Thank you. Of course.

Thank you. Of course. Here. Let me take these.

Of course. Here. Let me take these. ♪♪

Here. Let me take these. ♪♪ ♪ The snow falling down ♪

♪♪ ♪ The snow falling down ♪ ♪ And I'm feeling blue ♪

♪ The snow falling down ♪ ♪ And I'm feeling blue ♪ ♪ I wish you were around ♪

♪ And I'm feeling blue ♪ ♪ I wish you were around ♪ ♪ To cuddle up to ♪

♪ I wish you were around ♪ ♪ To cuddle up to ♪ Please stop.

♪ To cuddle up to ♪ Please stop. Girl, let me help you with the

Please stop. Girl, let me help you with the kitchen.

Girl, let me help you with the kitchen. Uh...no.

kitchen. Uh...no. You sure?

Uh...no. You sure? I am positive.

You sure? I am positive. Okay, good, 'cause I'm about

I am positive. Okay, good, 'cause I'm about ready for a little Christmas

Okay, good, 'cause I'm about ready for a little Christmas cheer, if you know what I mean.

ready for a little Christmas cheer, if you know what I mean. I do.

cheer, if you know what I mean. I do.

I do.

Go home.

Go home. Thank you, best friend.

Go home. Thank you, best friend. I don't know what I would do

Thank you, best friend. I don't know what I would do without you.

I don't know what I would do without you. You'll never have to find

without you. You'll never have to find out, but you can start by

You'll never have to find out, but you can start by calling Mr. Darby and give him

out, but you can start by calling Mr. Darby and give him some Christmas cheer.

calling Mr. Darby and give him some Christmas cheer. Laney!

some Christmas cheer. Laney! I'm serious, girl.

Laney! I'm serious, girl. All right.

I'm serious, girl. All right. Y'all get out of here.

All right. Y'all get out of here. Okay.

Y'all get out of here. Okay. I will.

Okay. I will. Get some rest.

I will. Get some rest. Okay.

Get some rest. Okay. Damn, damn, damn!

Okay. Damn, damn, damn! Merry Christmas.

Damn, damn, damn! Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Jake.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Jake. Ted, welcome home.

Merry Christmas, Jake. Ted, welcome home. Thank you, brother.

Ted, welcome home. Thank you, brother. Good to see you.

Thank you, brother. Good to see you. Good to be seen.

Good to see you. Good to be seen. Amen to that.

Good to be seen. Amen to that. Got to catch up, man.

Amen to that. Got to catch up, man. Absolutely. I'd like that.

Got to catch up, man. Absolutely. I'd like that. Yeah.

Absolutely. I'd like that. Yeah. I'll let you handle your

Yeah. I'll let you handle your business.

I'll let you handle your business. Yeah, man. Thanks.

business. Yeah, man. Thanks. Ted looks good, right?

Yeah, man. Thanks. Ted looks good, right? Mm-hmm.

Ted looks good, right? Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Where's the kids?

Where's the kids? Um...they're back in their

Where's the kids? Um...they're back in their bedrooms.

Um...they're back in their bedrooms. Listen, um...

bedrooms. Listen, um... I stopped by because...

Listen, um... I stopped by because... well, I-I owe you and the kids

I stopped by because... well, I-I owe you and the kids an apology.

well, I-I owe you and the kids an apology. Apologize for what?

an apology. Apologize for what? For not being the husband I

Apologize for what? For not being the husband I should have been to you.

For not being the husband I should have been to you. For not being the father I

should have been to you. For not being the father I should have been.

For not being the father I should have been. I get that now, and...

should have been. I get that now, and... I just wanted to tell you how

I get that now, and... I just wanted to tell you how truly sorry I am.

I just wanted to tell you how truly sorry I am. And I want to...

truly sorry I am. And I want to... work at being a better father to

And I want to... work at being a better father to our children and...

work at being a better father to our children and... a better friend to you, Madison.

I wasn't expecting you to say that. Thank you.

that. Thank you. And, um...

Thank you. And, um... I accept your apology.

And, um... I accept your apology.

I accept your apology.

But you're gonna have to talk

But you're gonna have to talk to the kids to get theirs.

But you're gonna have to talk to the kids to get theirs. Absolutely. I will.

to the kids to get theirs. Absolutely. I will. Thank you.

Absolutely. I will. Thank you. Yeah.

Thank you. Yeah. [ Clears throat ]

Yeah. [ Clears throat ] And on another note, remember

[ Clears throat ] And on another note, remember the girl I was telling you

And on another note, remember the girl I was telling you about -- my triple threat?

the girl I was telling you about -- my triple threat? Yeah.

about -- my triple threat? Yeah. Well, we just locked her deal

Yeah. Well, we just locked her deal down, and I'll be leaving after

Well, we just locked her deal down, and I'll be leaving after the holidays to start on her

down, and I'll be leaving after the holidays to start on her album.

the holidays to start on her album. Congratulations.

album. Congratulations. Thanks.

Is everything okay, Mom? Yes, sweetheart. Everything's fine.

Yes, sweetheart. Everything's fine. Your dad just wants to talk to

Everything's fine. Your dad just wants to talk to you and your sister.

Your dad just wants to talk to you and your sister. Chloe!

you and your sister. Chloe! This is my favorite part.

Chloe! This is my favorite part. The baddest intro.

This is my favorite part. The baddest intro. Hello!

The baddest intro. Hello! Okay. So, before I forget,

Hello! Okay. So, before I forget, it's not much.

Okay. So, before I forget, it's not much. Sorry.

it's not much. Sorry. Thanks, Mom!

Sorry. Thanks, Mom! Hey, wait a minute.

Thanks, Mom! Hey, wait a minute. What happened to the other

Hey, wait a minute. What happened to the other gifts?

What happened to the other gifts? I told you guys to get each

gifts? I told you guys to get each other something.

I told you guys to get each other something. We got each other presents.

other something. We got each other presents. But we returned them...

We got each other presents. But we returned them... So we could get you this.

But we returned them... So we could get you this. Merry Christmas, Mom.

So we could get you this. Merry Christmas, Mom. Oh, my gosh. You guys!

Merry Christmas, Mom. Oh, my gosh. You guys! Open it.

Oh, my gosh. You guys! Open it. Okay.

Open it. Okay. Oh, my goodness!

Okay. Oh, my goodness! Babies, this is so pretty!

Oh, my goodness! Babies, this is so pretty! What do you think?

Babies, this is so pretty! What do you think? It looks nice.

What do you think? It looks nice. I love it.

It looks nice. I love it. I love it, too.

I love it. I love it, too. Okay. My turn.

I love it, too. Okay. My turn. What?

Okay. My turn. What? Come on, y'all.

What? Come on, y'all. Hey.

Come on, y'all. Hey. You two should have a little

Hey. You two should have a little faith in your pops.

You two should have a little faith in your pops. You know I got something for my

faith in your pops. You know I got something for my babies.

You know I got something for my babies. Come on.

babies. Come on.

Come on.

There you go.

There you go. Champ.

There you go. Champ. ♪♪

Champ. ♪♪

♪♪

Daddy!

Daddy! Oh, my gosh!

Daddy! Oh, my gosh! And last but not least, my

Oh, my gosh! And last but not least, my babies' moms.

And last but not least, my babies' moms. What?

babies' moms. What? Jake, what is this?

What? Jake, what is this? Open it.

Jake, what is this? Open it.

Open it. You guys, look!

You guys, look! Guys, the IRS is paid in full!

You guys, look! Guys, the IRS is paid in full! Ohhh.

Guys, the IRS is paid in full! Ohhh. I heard you.

Ohhh. I heard you. Thank you, Jake.

I heard you. Thank you, Jake. Aaaaah!

Thank you, Jake. Aaaaah!

Aaaaah!

Hey, Mom.

Hey, Mom. Hey.

Hey, Mom. Hey. We just wanted to check on

Hey. We just wanted to check on you and make sure you're okay.

We just wanted to check on you and make sure you're okay. Come here.

you and make sure you're okay. Come here. ♪♪

Come here. ♪♪ Listen...

♪♪ Listen... as long as I have the two of

Listen... as long as I have the two of you...

I'm happy.

All we need is us.

♪♪

Love you, Mom.

Love you.

♪♪

♪♪