Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,394 --> 00:00:07,050
Announcer:
And as we know, there is a town
in Finland called Fjuurn
2
00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:10,619
comprised entirely
of lonely people.
3
00:00:10,619 --> 00:00:14,275
Recent computers have discovered
a town in Vietnam Huan
4
00:00:14,275 --> 00:00:17,756
whose populace is also
romantically unattached.
5
00:00:17,756 --> 00:00:20,759
One Fjuurnian for
each single Huanian.
6
00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:25,199
Compatible ages,
interests, fetishes, peccadilli.
7
00:00:25,199 --> 00:00:28,724
Following this finding,
Fjuurn became shy.
8
00:00:28,724 --> 00:00:33,294
Every citizen blushed so much,
the temperature rose 9 degrees.
9
00:00:33,294 --> 00:00:37,428
A soft, red glow
could be seen from space.
10
00:00:37,428 --> 00:00:40,301
It was from this vantage
that astro-matchmakers
11
00:00:40,301 --> 00:00:43,434
noticed the skyline
of these two locales,
12
00:00:43,434 --> 00:00:47,786
every mountain & valley,
tower & well, house & hole
13
00:00:47,786 --> 00:00:49,919
were a perfect,
interlocking fit,
14
00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:52,400
a precise inverse of one another
15
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:56,360
like a hot dog slipped snugly
into a set of human buns.
16
00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:57,883
Meant to be.
17
00:00:57,883 --> 00:01:00,321
One night Science got drunk
18
00:01:00,321 --> 00:01:03,715
and decided to
force fate to happen.
19
00:01:03,715 --> 00:01:08,242
They folded one over other using
cranes and a finger of skylube.
20
00:01:08,242 --> 00:01:09,591
[ Screaming ]
21
00:01:09,591 --> 00:01:11,897
After the carnage
of penetration,
22
00:01:11,897 --> 00:01:14,030
each subsequent municipal pump
23
00:01:14,030 --> 00:01:16,511
was hotter than that
which preceded it.
24
00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:18,252
[ Screaming ]
25
00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:21,385
The next morning as the sun
scorched off the fog of abandon,
26
00:01:21,385 --> 00:01:24,258
Huan awoke alone
to discover that Fjuurn
27
00:01:24,258 --> 00:01:27,174
had secretly
taped the whole thing.
28
00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:29,785
It was all over the net.
29
00:01:29,785 --> 00:01:34,833
Humiliated, Huan threw itself
off the edge of the earth.
30
00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:36,966
But Fjuurn was taping that, too,
31
00:01:36,966 --> 00:01:40,143
so they'd always have
proof of Huan's love --
32
00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:42,580
something to give
Fjuurn the confidence
33
00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:45,409
to finally love itself.
34
00:01:45,409 --> 00:01:49,631
♪♪
35
00:01:49,631 --> 00:01:54,636
And yet Dr Ton Bntu extracted
a lateral infarction
36
00:01:54,636 --> 00:01:55,985
in the optic chiasm
37
00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:59,031
so Eban Dylfyl,
blind since birth,
38
00:01:59,031 --> 00:02:01,730
could see
the world for the first time.
39
00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:04,559
Dr. Bntu: I am going to remove
the bandages, Mr. Dylfyl.
40
00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:05,603
Are you ready?
41
00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:06,648
Eban: I can't wait!
42
00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:07,953
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!
43
00:02:07,953 --> 00:02:12,219
♪♪
44
00:02:12,219 --> 00:02:14,134
You gotta be kidding me.
That's it?
45
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,787
Can you see?
46
00:02:15,787 --> 00:02:17,224
Yeah but I just always pictured
the world was gonna be, like,
47
00:02:17,224 --> 00:02:18,442
beautiful, ya know?
48
00:02:18,442 --> 00:02:20,227
You need more time
to get used to it...?
49
00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:22,403
I don't wanna get used to this.
50
00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:24,666
It's worser than trash.
51
00:02:24,666 --> 00:02:26,450
Its freakin' common.
52
00:02:26,450 --> 00:02:27,625
[ Spits ]
53
00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:32,021
Well, maybe try nature.
54
00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:33,414
Lame.
Ughk.
55
00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:35,459
My eyes're gonna puke.
56
00:02:35,459 --> 00:02:37,635
[ Retching ]
57
00:02:37,635 --> 00:02:39,333
I'm sorry,
but this is the world.
58
00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:43,337
Well, you need to fix it now
or I'm gonna get you fired!
59
00:02:43,337 --> 00:02:45,600
You'll be on the streets
eating cardboard dirt!
60
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,863
No sauce.
No beverage.
61
00:02:47,863 --> 00:02:49,995
Like I ate!
62
00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:52,259
Announcer:
A Dr's sacred mission is to do
everything in his power
63
00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:54,478
to avoid losing his job.
64
00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:57,568
♪♪
65
00:02:57,568 --> 00:03:00,702
Aw, now this is more
like it.
66
00:03:00,702 --> 00:03:03,008
Whoa, whoa!
67
00:03:03,008 --> 00:03:04,488
Whoa!
68
00:03:04,488 --> 00:03:06,273
Wow.
69
00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:08,884
Announcer: After he fingered
the seam of sight,
70
00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:13,062
Eban managed to escape into the
realm that lives behind vision.
71
00:03:13,062 --> 00:03:14,672
Eban: Wow!
72
00:03:14,672 --> 00:03:16,239
Yes!
73
00:03:16,239 --> 00:03:17,806
Announcer: There is no
survival skill greater
74
00:03:17,806 --> 00:03:21,592
than man's ability to save face.
75
00:03:21,592 --> 00:03:24,813
Having true pride is never
letting anyone know
76
00:03:24,813 --> 00:03:26,075
they got to you.
77
00:03:26,075 --> 00:03:27,946
Check out this piece of trash.
78
00:03:27,946 --> 00:03:31,472
Announcer:
So when Gil Minugm got tripped
by a bully,
79
00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:34,388
he just kept falling
as if he meant to do it.
80
00:03:34,388 --> 00:03:36,477
As long as he pretended
to tumble,
81
00:03:36,477 --> 00:03:39,175
he kept his self-respect.
82
00:03:39,175 --> 00:03:42,396
He committed to his pride
all thru life.
83
00:03:42,396 --> 00:03:46,313
Dignity flowed from him
like body water.
84
00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:48,489
He slipsy-won the city marathon
85
00:03:48,489 --> 00:03:52,275
and became the first man
to fall up Mt. Everest.
86
00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:56,497
He managed to meet
and injure fun, new people.
87
00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:58,847
He fell into a relationship
with a girl
88
00:03:58,847 --> 00:04:02,416
who he could express
his pride up in every position,
89
00:04:02,416 --> 00:04:05,767
from dignified doggy
to respectful cowgirl.
90
00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:07,769
Even butt stuff.
91
00:04:07,769 --> 00:04:09,640
♪♪
92
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,381
Gil: Ahh...
93
00:04:11,381 --> 00:04:13,383
Wasn't that
a lovely ceremony?
94
00:04:13,383 --> 00:04:16,604
Sometimes I think you're falling
on purpose
95
00:04:16,604 --> 00:04:18,693
to avoid grappling
with life's real challenges.
96
00:04:18,693 --> 00:04:20,521
What? No.
97
00:04:20,521 --> 00:04:22,349
I just happen to be falling.
98
00:04:22,349 --> 00:04:24,481
Whoa, whoops.
See?
99
00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:26,657
When you say that it diminishes
validity
100
00:04:26,657 --> 00:04:28,920
from people
who are really falling, like me.
101
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:33,011
You're not reallyfalling
any more than I am.
102
00:04:33,011 --> 00:04:34,926
We're both just going
through the motions.
103
00:04:34,926 --> 00:04:36,363
Whoa, whoa!
104
00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:37,451
I need to be with someone
who can grab life
105
00:04:37,451 --> 00:04:38,713
by the scruff of the ass.
106
00:04:38,713 --> 00:04:40,541
♪♪
107
00:04:40,541 --> 00:04:44,588
After their first fight, a
couple can slow its faux bumble
108
00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:47,069
and finally hold each other
in its gaze,
109
00:04:47,069 --> 00:04:49,811
forever safe, invincible.
110
00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:54,685
Aah!
111
00:04:54,685 --> 00:04:59,255
[ Siren wails ]
112
00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:01,388
You! Are you a relative
of the victim?
113
00:05:01,388 --> 00:05:04,739
That, uh, gunk there is my wife.
114
00:05:04,739 --> 00:05:06,393
The only way these folks survive
115
00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:08,743
is if I sew them together
right now.
116
00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:10,440
Can you dothat?
117
00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:13,704
I trained as a surgeon
specializing in hybrids.
118
00:05:13,704 --> 00:05:15,053
Lousy job market means
119
00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:16,794
that I gotta drive
a Goddamn ambulance
120
00:05:16,794 --> 00:05:17,795
to make ends meet.
121
00:05:17,795 --> 00:05:18,840
Do you want her to die?!
122
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:20,058
No! No!
123
00:05:20,058 --> 00:05:21,321
It's just, I don't know --
124
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,409
Make a decision!
125
00:05:22,409 --> 00:05:25,063
Grab life by the scruff
of the ass!
126
00:05:25,063 --> 00:05:27,196
Okay.
Do it. Do it!
127
00:05:27,196 --> 00:05:29,981
Good now stand back,
pray, and cheer me on.
128
00:05:29,981 --> 00:05:32,027
"Slab, Slab, Slab!"
129
00:05:32,027 --> 00:05:33,724
They called me "Slab"
in med school,
130
00:05:33,724 --> 00:05:35,596
and I don't have long
to tell you this story.
131
00:05:35,596 --> 00:05:36,858
C'mon, motivate me!
132
00:05:36,858 --> 00:05:42,429
Umm, Slab... Slab...
Slab... Slab...
133
00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:44,213
Slab... Slab...
Slab... Slab...
134
00:05:44,213 --> 00:05:46,171
So did you have lunch yet?
135
00:05:46,171 --> 00:05:49,392
Um, uh, no.
Slab... Slab... Slab... Slab...
136
00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:51,655
Well get yerself something,
menu's on the side.
137
00:05:51,655 --> 00:05:54,615
Wait, this -- this ambulance
is a food truck, too?
138
00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:57,531
Slab... Slab... Slab... Slab...I told you -- hybrids.
139
00:05:57,531 --> 00:06:00,838
Now I recommend the Chi-Loco-
Lo-Mein-Vein Dragon Bowl.
140
00:06:00,838 --> 00:06:03,972
They're little burritos rolled
all the way into noodles!
141
00:06:03,972 --> 00:06:06,104
It's a pretty fun Mexican take
142
00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:08,193
on a traditional Chinese
lo mein.
143
00:06:08,193 --> 00:06:09,978
Isn't that a clever lil combo?
144
00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:13,111
Kinda how your wife's gonna end
up if she pulls through!
145
00:06:13,111 --> 00:06:14,504
[ Chuckles ]
Get used to combos!
146
00:06:14,504 --> 00:06:16,463
I don't really have an appetite
right now!
147
00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:19,204
Well, family of patients
get 10% off.
148
00:06:19,204 --> 00:06:20,771
I don't know.
[ Whispering ] Scruff of ass.
149
00:06:20,771 --> 00:06:24,732
[ Normal voice ] Can ya tell me
about the feelawfel?
150
00:06:24,732 --> 00:06:27,343
Okay, that one is our take on
the falafel, obviously.
151
00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:30,302
We do it with raw onions
since you're crying, anyway.
152
00:06:30,302 --> 00:06:32,827
And if your loved one dies,
you get to keep the cup.
153
00:06:32,827 --> 00:06:35,351
So you walk away a winner
no matter what happens.
154
00:06:35,351 --> 00:06:36,874
I'll --
I'll do one of those.
155
00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:38,659
Okay. Gotta say it through
the window there.
156
00:06:38,659 --> 00:06:40,487
One feel-awfel.
157
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:42,097
Okay, you're gonna want to get
the grief sauce
158
00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:43,054
on this, I assume.
159
00:06:43,054 --> 00:06:44,665
You're gonna cook it, too?
160
00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:48,277
I focus best when I'm doing
two things at once.
161
00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:50,671
This is the most
impressive thing
162
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:52,629
I've ever witnessed.
163
00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:55,240
Slab!
Slab! Slab!
164
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:57,504
Order up!
[ Bell dings ]
165
00:06:57,504 --> 00:06:59,288
Mmm.
Mmm!
166
00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:00,681
Incredible!
167
00:07:00,681 --> 00:07:02,117
How'd you get
the edges so, uh...
168
00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:03,466
Crispy on the outside?
169
00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:06,382
I flash fry 'em
before broiling.
170
00:07:06,382 --> 00:07:08,732
Mmm!
Slab! Slab! Slab!
171
00:07:08,732 --> 00:07:10,386
[ Electricity crackling ]
172
00:07:10,386 --> 00:07:14,042
Aaand operation done,
order up!
173
00:07:14,042 --> 00:07:15,347
[ Bell dinging ]
174
00:07:15,347 --> 00:07:17,175
She's gonna make
a full recovery.
175
00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:20,962
It's kinda my fun take on saving
your wife's life, that's all.
176
00:07:20,962 --> 00:07:23,834
Up top!
177
00:07:23,834 --> 00:07:24,879
What happened?
178
00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:27,925
You were in a terrible accident.
179
00:07:27,925 --> 00:07:30,058
What are you, like, eating?
180
00:07:30,058 --> 00:07:33,714
It's seriously the most
delicious thing I've ever had.
181
00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:35,411
Here, try a bite.
182
00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:37,065
I don't understand
what's going on.
183
00:07:37,065 --> 00:07:41,765
What's going on is I grabbed
life by the scruff of that ass.
184
00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:44,115
Aww!
185
00:07:44,115 --> 00:07:46,901
Mmm.
What smells amazing?
186
00:07:46,901 --> 00:07:48,859
Mmm.
Mmm!
187
00:07:48,859 --> 00:07:51,645
Announcer:
When something scrumptious
blindsides our senses,
188
00:07:51,645 --> 00:07:54,996
we can see the seam
of sight speak its peace.
189
00:07:54,996 --> 00:07:56,650
To warn us --
190
00:07:56,650 --> 00:08:00,349
Horizon: [ Distorted voice ]
Vision is violence.
191
00:08:00,349 --> 00:08:02,394
What you looking at, twerp?
192
00:08:02,394 --> 00:08:04,005
You a tough guy?
Huh?
193
00:08:04,005 --> 00:08:05,441
You a tough guy?
194
00:08:05,441 --> 00:08:07,225
I don't know.
Whatchu mean?
195
00:08:07,225 --> 00:08:09,445
Are you a tough guy?
196
00:08:09,445 --> 00:08:10,533
I mean,
it's complicated.
197
00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:12,883
I'm not sure
I can categorize myself.
198
00:08:12,883 --> 00:08:16,191
Okay, well here, let me
help you figure it out.
199
00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:19,455
Now, are you a tough guy?
200
00:08:19,455 --> 00:08:22,632
I mean, we all have different
facets to ourselves.
201
00:08:22,632 --> 00:08:24,808
One part may be tough,
aggressive, dominant,
202
00:08:24,808 --> 00:08:26,767
while another side
is introspective and hesitant.
203
00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:30,684
If I'm being honest,
I'm a complex amalgam of both.
204
00:08:30,684 --> 00:08:33,687
OK then,
I'll separate it for ya.
205
00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:38,996
Now the both of yous can hash
it out amongst yourselves.
206
00:08:38,996 --> 00:08:40,694
Losers!
207
00:08:40,694 --> 00:08:42,391
What you looking at,
lil half bitch?
208
00:08:42,391 --> 00:08:44,045
Nothing.
I just --
209
00:08:44,045 --> 00:08:46,438
[ Mocking ] Nothing, I just --
Nothing, I just -- I just --
210
00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:48,571
Shut up.
Gimme yer lunch money, now.
211
00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:50,617
But, like,
isn't it ourlunch money?
212
00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:52,140
[ Slurps ]
213
00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:54,490
You gonna be a little bitch,
you bitch?
214
00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:57,145
That's not
a simple question.
215
00:08:57,145 --> 00:08:59,843
You know, It'd be erroneous to
adhere to one broad label
216
00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:02,280
when Jungian scholars
agree a personality
217
00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:06,502
comprises infinite gradations
of 7 archetypical traits.
218
00:09:06,502 --> 00:09:08,678
Here's your 7 component
archetypes right here.
219
00:09:08,678 --> 00:09:11,463
Horizon: It requires great
strength to analytically
220
00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:15,076
octosect ourselves into
sub-sets of neuroticism,
221
00:09:15,076 --> 00:09:17,208
agreeableness,
extroversion,
222
00:09:17,208 --> 00:09:19,602
openness,
conscientiousness,
223
00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:22,170
warmth,
and assertiveness.
224
00:09:22,170 --> 00:09:23,824
[ Shouts ]
225
00:09:23,824 --> 00:09:25,869
Now dat I done helped you
truly know yerself fer free,
226
00:09:25,869 --> 00:09:28,611
whydoncha cough up
that lunch money as payment?
227
00:09:28,611 --> 00:09:31,440
[ Coughs ]
228
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:34,182
I know who I am:
I'm rich!
229
00:09:34,182 --> 00:09:36,880
His Alpha side breezed
through life,
230
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:40,710
grabbing whatever
its half-heart desired.
231
00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:44,322
Tragically, his beta half
was forced to develop
232
00:09:44,322 --> 00:09:48,544
a personality and sharpen
his intellect to survive.
233
00:09:48,544 --> 00:09:52,592
Announcer:
Both sides grew up utterly happy
and secretly miserable
234
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,942
because each suspected
the other
235
00:09:54,942 --> 00:09:58,641
was actually happy
and not utterly pretending.
236
00:09:58,641 --> 00:10:02,340
They developed a sick fixation
upon each other.
237
00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:04,865
Each side snuck to
the other one's house
238
00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:07,563
to creep on
their other side sleeping.
239
00:10:07,563 --> 00:10:11,132
Both were horrified to discover
their other side not home
240
00:10:11,132 --> 00:10:13,134
but probably out having
real fun.
241
00:10:13,134 --> 00:10:15,005
[ Screams ]
242
00:10:15,005 --> 00:10:17,747
They had too much pride
to get back together.
243
00:10:17,747 --> 00:10:21,229
But one afternoon, when they had
both moped off to brood
244
00:10:21,229 --> 00:10:25,059
in a meadow, they inexplicably
felt the re-connection
245
00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:26,538
they had longed for.
246
00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:29,367
They savored the sensation.
247
00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:32,893
As long as they remained
in Eban's healing gaze,
248
00:10:32,893 --> 00:10:35,112
held whole in the stitch
of his sight,
249
00:10:35,112 --> 00:10:39,900
they felt they could do
absolutely anything at all
250
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:42,946
Horizon: So that's exactly
what they did.
251
00:10:42,946 --> 00:10:47,603
♪♪
252
00:10:47,603 --> 00:10:50,388
♪ There's blood in the kitchen
253
00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:53,565
♪ There's blood in the hall
254
00:10:53,565 --> 00:10:56,612
♪ There's blood in the parlor
255
00:10:56,612 --> 00:10:59,571
♪ Where my lady did fall
256
00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:05,926
♪ Long Lankin was hanged
on a gibbet so high ♪
257
00:11:05,926 --> 00:11:14,195
♪ When the false nurse was
burned in a fire close by ♪
19015
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
