Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

[theme music]

♪ Whenever there's a crime or trouble ♪

♪ That no one can solve at all it seems ♪

♪ That's when they come in on the double ♪

♪ Sylvester and Tweety mysteries ♪

♪ It might be day or night whenever ♪

♪ Conditions are right for them to flee ♪

♪ Somehow it all still fits together ♪

♪ Sylvester and Tweety mysteries ♪

♪ If there's a full moon ♪

♪ An old house with rotten stairs ♪

♪ Just wook awound you ♪

♪ Chances are we'll be there ♪

♪ Someday I'll eat that darn canary ♪

♪ And then I'll be happy yes sirree ♪

♪ But Hector thinks you should be wary ♪

♪ Sylvester and Tweety mysteries ♪

♪ The chase goes on with each new mission ♪

♪ With backdrops aplenty globally ♪

♪ And through it all they're in contention ♪

♪ Sylvester and Tweety ♪

♪ Mysteries ♪♪

[dramatic music]

Wasn't Cousin Emma nice to let us stay in her house, Tweety?

Too bad Sylvester's been so naughty.

I hope staying in the attic will teach him a lesson.

[shivering]

Hw was I to know she was saving that tuna casserole

for her Canasta Club?

Some of those ladies could do with some liposuction, anyway.

Oh, it's so wonderful to take a break

from solving all those mysteries.

Now that's a set-up line if ever I heard one.

[clock chimes]

Oh, my vacuum tubes. I nearly forgot.

It's time for Classic Mystery Radio Theater.

[screeching]

This classic radio stuff makes my feathers molt.

[instrumental music]

[Sylvester shivering]

Sheesh, this place gives me the heebie-jeebies. Ooh...

[heavy breathing]

[gulps] Is that you, Tweety, huh?

[footsteps approaching]

G-g-g-granny?

[glass shatters]

[woman screaming]

[sylvester whimpering]

[sinister laughter]

(male 1) 'You can't hide from me. I know where you are.'

'Very well, I'll just have to flush you out.'

I confess! I confess! I did it!

(male 1 on radio) 'And in the end, the guilty always confess.'

'That concludes tonight's radio adaptation'

'of the Maltese Canary.'

Oh, pish-posh!

I could've solved that mystery with my eyes closed.

And she goes through life that way, too. He-he-he.

[gulps] I'm okay, I'm okay.

There's nothing to be afraid of

except for all the shadows and scary things in this attic.

Hmm?

[screams]

[panting]

I'll be safe in here.

Yaah!

Oh, wait. It's probably just another mirror.

Hello, there. Do you wanna be my friend?

(Sylvester) 'There's no such things as ghosts.'

'There's no such things as ghosts.'

'There's no such things as ghosts.'

[click]

[screaming]

[click]

[click]

Phew! What did granny put in that tuna casserole?

Hello, there.

[Sylvester screaming]

Hello, there.

- Why do you keep running away? - Yike!

[squeaking]

- Hello, there. - Aah!

- Hello, there. - Yaah!

- Why do you keep running away? - Yaah! Aah! Aah!

Waaaahhhh!

Waaaaahhhh!

(male 1 on radio) 'Look, fright fans'

'rising from the mud, the hideous two-headed thing'

'oozes across the swamp'

'and suddenly wraps its slimy tentacles--'

[grunting]

Sylvester, what are you doing here?

Your punishment is not over yet.

Coming downstairs and scaring us.

You naughty kitty. Whoa!

Sylvester, will you stop this foolishness?

[grunting]

Tweety, old buddy, you gotta believe me.

There's-there's a ghost up there.

I think puddy's cracking.

It's back to the attic with you.

Aah! Off. Oof. Oof.

And you'll stay in here till you have learned your lesson.

[shivering]

I just gotta find some way to defend myself.

Ahh..

(male 1 on radio) 'Please join us again for another'

'bone-chilling fright fest.'

Oh, fiddlesticks.

I missed the ending of another program.

(male 2 on radio) 'Alright, Rocky, we've got the place surrounded.'

'Come out with your hands up.'

(male 3 on radio) 'Yeah! Eat lead, Copper. Come and get me.'

(male 2 on radio) 'Okay, Rocky, we'll do this the hard way.'

Oh, goody. Cops and robbers.

Hello, there. That looks like fun.

Can I play, too? Huh?

[mumbles]

Waah!

Yaah! Waah!

(male 3 on radio) 'You'll never catch me, Coppers.'

thud

Heavens to Betsy, what was that?

I don't know.

Hector, go down and see what caused that noise.

[panting]

Maybe this crime drama is just too real.

Let's find something a little milder.

Sheesh! This place just gets creepier.

That's it. I'm getting out of here.

[grunts]

[screams]

But not that way.

[grunting]

Hello, there. Don't you want to be my friend?

Yaah!

Why do you keep running away?

I just wanna be friends.

[panting]

Oh, just like Jackson Pollock.

Wow! I never knew you were so talented.

Huh?

[all scream]

crash

[Sylvester groans]

Sylvester, I won't tolerate any more funny business.

[mumbles]

(male 4 on radio) 'We interrupt our dance music program'

'to bring you this news flash.'

'This is Orland Drells reporting to you'

'from where an alien spaceship has landed.'

[whimpering]

Shh! Sylvester, be quiet. This could be important.

(male 4 on radio) 'It's down there in that pit'

'rising on tripods of steel.'

'It's some kind of alien machine.'

'It's-it's firing on us!'

'The Martian machines are marching down fifth avenue'

'blowing up skyscrapers with their heat rays.'

'Run for your lives, folks. They're coming.'

'They're coming for us. Aah!'

'Martians? Now that's really scary.'

Huh?

Ooh, I taught I saw an ectoplasmic aberration.

I did, I did!

I'm outta here!

I owe you an apology, Sylvester.

This house really was haunted.

(male 4 on radio) 'Alas, ladies and gentlemen, there are no Martians.'

'It has been our pleasure bringing you'

'this modest little hoax.'

'And we certainly hope that it didn't'

'frighten any of you out of your wits.'

You never fooled me, buster.

I know there's no such thing as Martians.

thud

Now, I wouldn't say that.

boom

[instrumental music]