Original subtitles

[theme music]

[instrumental music]

(Sylvester in Irish accent) Ah, Ireland.

(in normal voice) home of blarney castle..

...and the Blarney Stone.

(male #1) 'And the Duffy Stone.'

If you like the Blarney Stone, you'll love the Duffy Stone.

[dramatic music]

(Sylvester) Tourists come here every day to kiss the Blarney Stone.

Legend says that this gives the gift of Irish gab..

...to every lucky visitor.

[kisses]

[groaning]

[growls]

[woman screams]

[man laughing maniacally]

It's the banshee.

Jellies preserve us.

[laughing]

[screams]

The Blarney Stone has been stolen.

[passes wind]

Can you find it, Dan?

I could find the Blarney Stone, but I won't.

This is my day off, it is.

Timothy Michael called in sick

and now I hear he's off to the parish picnic

...with Jimmy Gorman and Old Bob the fireman. Pah!

Then we'll be putting in a call

to the greatest detective on the planet.

[ringing]

[Mary Ann speaking indistinctly over phone]

You don't say. Missing Blarney Stone?

Sorry, folks. I'm busy.

Then we'll have to bring in Granny.

(all) Granny!

Granny?

[theme song]

♪ Whenever there's a crime or trouble ♪

♪ That no one can solve at all it seems ♪

♪ That's when they come and on the double ♪

♪ Sylvester and Tweety mysteries ♪

♪ It might be day or night whenever ♪

♪ Conditions are right for them to flee ♪

♪ Somehow it all still fits together ♪

♪ Sylvester and Tweety mysteries ♪

♪ If there's a full moon ♪

♪ An old house with rotten stairs ♪

♪ Just look around you ♪

♪ Chances are we'll be there ♪

♪ Some day I'll eat that darn canary ♪

♪ And then I'll be happy, yes, sirree ♪

♪ But hector thinks you should be wary ♪

♪ Sylvester and Tweety mysteries ♪

♪ The chase goes on with each new mission ♪

♪ With backdrops a-plenty globally ♪

♪ And through it all they're in contention ♪

♪ Sylvester and Tweety ♪

♪ Mysteries ♪

[instrumental music]

♪ Oh Paddy dear and did you hear ♪

♪ The news that's going round? ♪

♪ The shamrock is forbid by law

♪ To grow on Irish ground! ♪

♪ And St. Patrick's Day no more we'll keep ♪

♪ His color can't be seen ♪

♪ For there's an awful law against ♪

♪ The wearing of the green ♪♪

(Granny) 'Gangway below.'

[crowd screams]

[grunting]

Whoa!

[screeches]

[gasps]

[Dan grunts]

Maybe we better get Sam Spade.

[yelping]

[blowing]

Puddycat don't know it, but I took a mace class.

[crash]

[clang]

Phew!

My, you really know how to put on the dog.

Sure, and if it isn't granny herself.

World's greatest detective at your service.

Have you found any clues?

I could find tons and tons of nice clues

only it's my day off.

[sniffing]

Hey, hey, there, you horrible creature.

That's my lunch.

(Sylvester) Hector has the right idea

but the real trick is getting the lunch to come to you.

[in Irish accent] Top of the morning.

'Hey, little yellow fella.'

[slurps]

[Sylvester yells]

[thud]

Ooh, puddycat gonna be sore when he wake up.

Here's the spot where the Blarney Stone got stolen.

Hmm. Jigsaw cut marks.

Did anybody hear sawing?

All we heard was the banshee's terrible wail.

[wailing]

'Louder and more frightening than a..'

'uh, a much smaller banshee.'

(Granny) Be that as it may.

I can prove this is a case of pure theft.

Aha! Hmm.

Whoever stole the blarney stone

dropped these green-spotted seashells in the act.

They say green-spotted seashells can be found

at the vertical rock-cliff caverns of County Cork.

(Sylvester) The clues were leading us hither and yon

but there was a case to be solved and lunch to be eaten.

One small step for man.

One giant leap for lunch.

[grunting]

Whoa!

[grunting]

[snap]

[yells]

[groaning]

[yells]

(Granny) Que sera sera.

Detective work is full of red herrings.

And fiddler crabs of every p-p-possible color.

Ew.

(Sylvester) We returned to town

determined to leave no stone unturned.

Excuse me, but, uh, may I borrow your telephone?

Eh, you're not gonna keep it, now, are ye?

Oh, no, no. I-I just wanted to call the hotel.

When we had the Blarney Stone, people came to buy our goods.

Now they come to steal telephones.

Do you wanna see the Duffy Stone? Do you?

I think everyone here should see a doctor.

[laughs]

Oh, don't mind her.

Faith n. Begorra, apologize to granny.

Go away.

Duh. She's afraid she'll have to close up her little novelty shop

since the tourists stopped coming.

Goodness, does the whole town's livelihood

depend on the Blarney Stone?

Oh, yes. That and hats made out of chia pets, of course.

I'm Flynn O'Casey, the local land agent.

Without the Blarney Stone people around here

'would have to sell all their land and property.'

Ah, a delectable denizen of the deep.

This spud's for you.

[groans]

You mustn't eat things Granny didn't pay for, puddy.

Huh? Ugh!

[thud]

[telephone rings]

(bartender) 'Telephone call for granny.'

- Uh, hello? - Listen carefully.

If you want to find the Blarney Stone, go to this address.

Where? Uh, near a peat bog?

[banshee laughing]

(Sylvester) Our search for the stone brought us

to the swampy Irish bogs

and, of course, we had to pass the night

in the obligatory spooky house.

Well, we've searched everywhere

and can't find any Blarney Stone.

I think some local was playing a prank on us.

Well, we'll just stay here tonight and have a nice rest.

[chirping]

(Granny) 'Oh, that's only a room thermometer, not a thermostat.'

There's no furnace here.

In Ireland, for heat, they burn chunks

of cut ground called peat.

Digging up dirt for fuel.

Somebody's finally found a use for you dogs.

[coughing and sputtering]

(Granny) 'Quit playing in the soot, Sylvester.'

'Bath time for you.'

[yelps]

[grunts]

Oh, boy, a clue.

"Colonel Mustard, with the candelabra

in the drawing room."

It doesn't fit, but it's an excellent clue.

(Granny) Hold still, Sylvester.

Tweety never fusses.

[coughing and sputtering]

[teeth chattering]

[gasps]

(Granny) 'Just to be safe, you're on watch, Sylvester.'

[clock ticking]

[blows raspberry]

(Sylvester) Humph. Man's best friend, hmm.

When Sylvester's on the job, nothing stands in his way.

Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow, nor sunspots

nor weevils, nor wolverines

nor Wayne Newton

[snores]

[rats squeaking]

Huh?

Rats.

Ha!

Take that, feckless vermin.

[Sylvester grunting and groaning]

[groaning]

[groaning]

[groans]

[dramatic music]

[screams]

Phew!

[thud]

Sylvester, why are you playing the piano at this hour?

We're trying to get some sleep.

Oof!

[grunts]

[groans]

[gasps]

Suffering succotash. It's the Blarney Stone.

Instead of Granny finding it, it's found her.

(Sylvester) The stakes were high, and I knew it was up to me

but I needed assistance.

[barking and growling]

[growling]

Hmm?

[gasps]

[both grunting]

[all yell]

[Granny coughs] 'Who dropped that huge chunk of peat on us?'

[Sylvester whining and muttering indistinctly]

[coughing] Well, I suppose you can explain

this little disturbance, Sylvester?

(Sylvester) Explain? What was there to explain?

I'd saved the old girl.

Bad old puddycat.

You ruined my beauty sleep.

[yells]

Oh, gracious. Stop it. Stop it.

'Outside, both of you.'

[both grunt]

[both grunt]

(Sylvester) What's this? An innocent country lass

innocently tilling the innocent Irish soil?

Hmm.

Hey, look.

I'll bet that's the dirt-digging pip-squeak

who dropped all that muck on us

and you're not gonna let her get away with that, are you?

Phew!

[wood crunching]

[growling]

Hey.

[Faith grunts]

A poor merchant can't cut peat

from her own land

without meeting a bunch of snoopy people.

Snoopy, snoopy people.

Be off with you, you great sweaty beast.

[clang]

[laughing]

Oof!

[glass shatters]

Let's see. "Valet parking, vegetarian, veteran services."

Ah, "veterinarian."

[groans]

(Granny) According to the Irish farmers' almanac

those green-spotted shellfish

can be found along the coast here.

The same shellfish we found where

the Blarney Stone was stolen.

Wasn't that a long time ago?

(Sylvester) So back to the seashore we traipsed.

The shellfish should be on that furthest rock out there.

Whose bright idea was this, anyway?

[sputtering]

[banshee cackling]

Yikes!

Goodness' sakes.

[laughing]

[Hector whimpers]

Oh, grow up.

[yells]

(Sylvester) Just when the case had us all baffled

there was a fortunate break in the storm.

I thought I saw a strange contraption

up in that big dark cloud.

Aha.

[grunting]

Where's that darn wind when you need it?

Ooh!

(Sylvester) Yeow!

(Tweety) Five, four, three..

You take it from here, puddy.

[gasps]

[air blows]

[crash]

(Granny) 'Did something happen?'

My glasses are all foggy.

[both grunt]

Why, thank you, Tweety.

These bifocals get so.. Oh, goodness.

Look at that. A fog generator.

[Granny gasps] A jigsaw.

[both grunt]

Hmm. Where have I seen this peat before?

Aha.

So that's who holds the deed to this house.

Aha.

(Sylvester) Why didn't I think of that?

(Granny) 'Aha!'

Ooh. If granny puts this together, she's good.

Watch this.

(Sylvester) The old peat-machine-in-the-wall trick.

[gasps]

[groans]

Oh. Maybe it's this one.

[gasps]

Oh. Well, it's got to be this one.

[gasps then whimpers]

Phew!

[sucking]

[chirping]

Oh.

[man grunts]

Aha!

The missing part of the puzzle.

'Duffy.'

[laughing]

And it almost worked

but I did stupid things.

Good going, granny.

(Sylvester) Once again, my role

as super-sleuth went uncelebrated.

Granny: Aha!

The Blarney Stone.

[Duffy screaming indistinctly]

I could have solved this myself

but it was my day off.

Oh, sure.

[theme music]