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Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
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00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:52,553
I attract the perfect man.
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00:00:53,095 --> 00:00:55,430
My soul mate is here and now.
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00:00:55,681 --> 00:00:57,683
I attract the perfect man.
5
00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,477
My soul mate is here and now.
6
00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:03,063
I attract the perfect man.
7
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:04,898
It took you guys eight years
8
00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:05,983
to complete that film?
9
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:08,318
I attract the perfect man...
10
00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:10,320
I'm glad she isn't here
to hear you say that.
11
00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:12,698
Besides, not everyone was born
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00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:14,449
with a silver spoon
in their mouth.
13
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:15,993
I attract the perfect man.
14
00:01:16,535 --> 00:01:18,161
My soul mate is here and no...
15
00:01:22,291 --> 00:01:23,876
Miss Katt,
at the height of the Cold War
16
00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:25,544
you were East Ger...
17
00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:30,174
Hello, home girl. It's Pedia!
18
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:32,259
Can you send him to me?
19
00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:36,471
No, you come home
20
00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:38,557
and pick him up yourself.
21
00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:40,475
But I'm busy.
22
00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,021
So...
23
00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:46,815
so... so you are
stress eating again.
24
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:49,902
Listen,
Marina Katt's on my show today.
25
00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:51,612
- What show?
- Pretzel Talk.
26
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:53,947
- Pretzel what?
- Talk!
27
00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:56,200
So, what is...
28
00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:03,832
So, what is it?
You're being paid at least?
29
00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:06,919
- Nothing yet, but...
- I talked to Resi
30
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:09,087
at the Alpen Hotel.
31
00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:10,756
They're looking
for a chamber maid.
32
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:13,383
I didn't sleep for years
33
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,719
under a table in a
tiny Hell's Kitchen apartment
34
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:16,845
with six roommates
35
00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:18,430
and cockroaches
crawling all over me
36
00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:20,307
and endured
endless hours of acting
37
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,059
in ghastly NYU student films
38
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,602
where they
cut off my head by mistake,
39
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:24,811
to go to a one-horse town
40
00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:26,271
to be a fucking chambermaid!
41
00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:31,276
Sorry, I got a lot on my plate.
42
00:02:32,236 --> 00:02:33,403
What do you have?
43
00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:35,030
You don't even have a husband.
44
00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:36,740
I'm late. Gotta go.
45
00:02:58,637 --> 00:02:59,638
Today is the day
46
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:01,515
Hashtag "Marina Katt
is on my show"
47
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:02,808
exclamation point.
48
00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:08,897
Yep, Stanley, I'm still single.
49
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:11,024
I'd snap you up in a second
50
00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:12,818
if I were ten years younger.
51
00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:14,570
I wish you were...
52
00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:16,154
or ten years older, Stanley.
53
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:39,178
Enzo, send her
to Trader Joe's for OJ...
54
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:40,304
it's cheaper.
55
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:41,388
Okay, cool.
56
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:42,556
What else does Marina like?
57
00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:44,016
I left a list for Blanche
58
00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:45,893
on the fridge. Gotta go. Bye!
59
00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:47,644
It wasn't the kiss alone
60
00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:49,146
that changed the frog.
61
00:03:49,271 --> 00:03:50,480
It was because she looked
62
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:51,565
beneath the slime and warts
63
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:52,858
and believed she saw a prince.
64
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:54,359
So he became one.
65
00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:58,488
What's...?
66
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,449
She's doing her on-the-run
67
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:01,700
screen writing again.
68
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:03,744
Jeez!
69
00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:06,997
Jeez.
70
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:13,420
"Danke dass Sie bei unserer
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00:04:13,504 --> 00:04:14,505
Arlington Friedhof-tour
72
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:15,589
dabei waren.
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00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:17,591
Merci d'avoir participé
74
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:18,842
notre visite guidée
75
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:20,511
du cimetrière Arlington.
76
00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:23,305
Got it!
77
00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:29,269
- There you go.
- Thanks
78
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:30,437
Ahem.
79
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:32,689
Sixty dollars?
80
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,274
Sorry, Vic.
81
00:04:34,358 --> 00:04:35,359
I'm sorry, Marv.
82
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,110
I'm supposed to get 200.
Fess up.
83
00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:38,779
Would you relax?
84
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,656
These guys
have plenty of work for you.
85
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,616
My advice...
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00:04:44,076 --> 00:04:45,661
don't poke the bear!
87
00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:47,579
Who's the bear? You?
88
00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:48,997
No! Them!
89
00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:51,750
If they're a bear,
I'm a fucking lion!
90
00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:53,669
Hand it over,
or I'm gonna start talking
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00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:55,546
about the boy porn magazines
you're trying to hide
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00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,172
behind the speaker
which, by the way,
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00:04:57,256 --> 00:04:59,132
is a horrible place
to hide shit.
94
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:00,926
Especially
because I can see them.
95
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,053
And I'm sure
your wife won't be too happy
96
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,137
to hear about that.
97
00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:21,780
We're looking
for just one more spot
98
00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:24,741
to fill for
the upcoming billboard awards.
99
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:28,453
What's wrong with your arm?
100
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,539
No, no, it's just
shoulder tendinitis
101
00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:31,748
from teaching dance.
102
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:33,417
I'll be fine
in time for the show.
103
00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:34,835
We're looking
for girls who can twerk.
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00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,420
Oh, I can twerk.
105
00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:39,464
Mmm... but there's
nothing here that says you can.
106
00:05:40,299 --> 00:05:43,177
But... twerking is not hard.
107
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:44,720
Yeah, and you have to be black.
108
00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:46,722
Oh!
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00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,141
Thanks, Vicky.
110
00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:50,350
No, thank you.
111
00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:52,603
And it's Victoria, by the way.
112
00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:57,232
Have you heard from Marina yet?
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00:05:57,816 --> 00:05:59,818
Okay. Text me when you do.
114
00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:09,036
Oh! Get the crazy glue, Blanche.
115
00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:11,038
- Where?
- Top drawer.
116
00:06:11,205 --> 00:06:14,208
And water.
Bottled water, from the fridge.
117
00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:15,292
Okay.
118
00:06:17,336 --> 00:06:18,462
- You're good?
- Yeah.
119
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:23,091
Hey, guys.
120
00:06:23,175 --> 00:06:25,594
Meet my manager, Lando Cox.
121
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:27,971
He represented
Aretha Franklin's sister.
122
00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:30,432
Yeah. Karolyn Franklin.
123
00:06:30,766 --> 00:06:32,351
But I don't care about stars,
124
00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:33,852
I make 'em right, babe?
125
00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:34,978
Uh.
126
00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:36,522
Oh! Victoria is shooting
127
00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:37,814
her own talk show.
128
00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:39,316
Oh, yeah? Who's on it?
129
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:40,901
Uh, Marina Katt.
130
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:42,986
The Olympic figure skater?
131
00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:44,780
- Yeah!
- You know her?
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00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,200
I've still got her
Playboy issue from 1994.
133
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,452
Do you think you
can get her to sign it for me
134
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,539
I'll be right back, babe.
135
00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:11,348
I'm not talking
about East Germany again.
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00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:13,851
My head is free and clear.
137
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,936
My head is free and clear.
138
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,563
My head.. Ah, forget it!
139
00:07:23,861 --> 00:07:25,320
Where's Blanche with the water?
140
00:07:25,404 --> 00:07:26,488
I should've fired her.
141
00:07:26,572 --> 00:07:28,699
We can't afford professionals.
142
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:30,242
Why are you texting?
143
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,911
I put
some money on a penny stock.
144
00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:34,913
It could make me
an instant millionaire.
145
00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:36,456
I need you to focus.
146
00:07:36,832 --> 00:07:37,833
Suggestions?
147
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:39,793
Just... don't babble.
148
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,253
You're gonna
stick to the point.
149
00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:43,088
- I don't babble!
- Yeah!
150
00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:46,258
Annoyed, reprimanded, pissy...
151
00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:48,844
"Oh, for the muse of fire
152
00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:50,345
that would ascend the brightest
153
00:07:50,429 --> 00:07:51,597
heaven of invention!"
154
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,682
"Lambic pentameter"
is still babbling.
155
00:07:54,892 --> 00:07:57,019
"A kingdom for a stage,
156
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,228
princes to act
157
00:07:58,312 --> 00:07:59,396
and monarchs to behold
158
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,148
- the swelling scene
- Yeah?
159
00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:03,692
- then should the...
- Yeah, we're down here.
160
00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:06,528
Cool! Sure, sure!
161
00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:08,363
All right. We're all here.
162
00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:11,533
Okay.
163
00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:13,368
Let's do this.
164
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:16,288
Hi, everyone.
Welcome to Pretzel Talk,
165
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:18,165
live behind the scenes.
166
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:21,126
It's show time!
167
00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:22,794
Whoo-hoo!
168
00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:27,049
What an honour to have you
169
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:28,926
on our show, Miss Katt!
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00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:30,093
Thank you.
171
00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:37,643
Go, go, go, go!
172
00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:41,063
Okay.
Say hi to your Facebook fans.
173
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,689
We're live streaming!
174
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,525
You went to school
175
00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:46,193
to be a pretzel handler.
176
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:50,197
Let me explain
177
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:51,448
Pretzel Talk's format to you.
178
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:52,991
First, we do a little dance
179
00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:54,243
underneath the pretzel...
180
00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:56,328
Die Pretzel kommt jetzt!
181
00:08:58,372 --> 00:08:59,540
...little bit of a German thing
182
00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:01,333
going on,
since we're both Germanic.
183
00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:03,544
Gotta have a shtick.
184
00:09:03,919 --> 00:09:05,170
The joke is...
185
00:09:05,337 --> 00:09:06,380
everything breaks down
186
00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:07,464
in this old building.
187
00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:09,007
Your heel is broken!
188
00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:11,051
Oh! That's part of the theme.
189
00:09:11,969 --> 00:09:13,178
So...
190
00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:15,681
the buzzer is broken,
191
00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:16,974
so you grab a key
192
00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:18,350
to let yourself in.
193
00:09:19,101 --> 00:09:20,310
Then we do
the interview in my studio
194
00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:21,395
which will probably remind you
195
00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:23,939
of East Germany in the 1970's.
196
00:09:24,106 --> 00:09:25,107
The walls are so thin,
197
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:26,316
the Secret Police wouldn't even
198
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:27,609
have to plant a bug!
199
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:31,905
Okay.
So, this is our camera man.
200
00:09:32,531 --> 00:09:35,200
Welcome to
another edition of Pretzel Talk.
201
00:09:35,284 --> 00:09:36,869
I'm your host, Victoria Timm.
202
00:09:37,286 --> 00:09:39,037
Today
we have a very special guest,
203
00:09:39,121 --> 00:09:40,956
whom I've admired
since childhood,
204
00:09:41,373 --> 00:09:42,958
even though we're the same age.
205
00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:46,795
She's won three
Olympic gold medals
206
00:09:46,879 --> 00:09:49,923
in figure skating. Marina Katt!
207
00:09:51,842 --> 00:09:53,010
Okay.
208
00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:55,721
It got stuck!
209
00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:03,437
So, here is our melody,
210
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:07,024
theme song...
Feel free to move to it!
211
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,567
I won't do this!
212
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,239
Stop the pretzel!
213
00:10:14,323 --> 00:10:15,908
Pull it up! Pull it up!
214
00:10:17,159 --> 00:10:18,243
Cut!
215
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:20,037
Cut!
216
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,714
Miss Katt, tell us
about your amazing career
217
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,382
that evolved
from and 18-year old,
218
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:34,593
stepping out
from behind the iron curtain.
219
00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:43,018
I'm gonna get fired!
220
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:45,687
I'll have to go back to school!
221
00:10:46,188 --> 00:10:47,397
Miss Katt!
222
00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:50,817
Miss Katt!
223
00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:06,500
A real star
224
00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:08,627
would've done the interview.
225
00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:09,711
I blew it!
226
00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:11,129
Open the package.
227
00:11:11,463 --> 00:11:12,673
Open it!
228
00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:26,603
Pedia never gave up,
229
00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:30,232
even
after the dog bit him, right?
230
00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:32,693
Yeah, he was decapitated...
231
00:11:32,943 --> 00:11:35,737
Which turned out
to be to his advantage.
232
00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:37,239
It made him weigh less.
233
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,448
And you even
234
00:11:38,574 --> 00:11:40,450
sewed clothes for him...
235
00:11:40,784 --> 00:11:42,786
and Pedia, the penguin was born.
236
00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:46,498
The name was your idea.
237
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:48,709
Despite his giant ears
238
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:51,086
and potato nose, he...
239
00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:54,256
won the Olympics
in ski jumping.
240
00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:55,716
Even beating out
241
00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:58,844
the great Max, the Mallard!
242
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,512
The man of my dreams.
243
00:12:04,099 --> 00:12:06,268
I felt guilty
having Pedia beat him.
244
00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:08,228
Don't worry.
245
00:12:09,188 --> 00:12:11,190
So did everybody else!
246
00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:19,281
Thanks for sending my things.
247
00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:20,866
I love you, Mutti.
248
00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:24,203
I couldn't hold
onto your junk, anyway.
249
00:12:25,454 --> 00:12:26,496
They only let us
250
00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:27,623
have one room.
251
00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:28,916
I gotta go, Mom.
252
00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:35,297
You haven't seen everything.
253
00:12:39,343 --> 00:12:40,844
Mmm! Your pot?
254
00:12:41,136 --> 00:12:42,721
I'm not gonna live with you!
255
00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:06,203
Oh, shit!
256
00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:15,712
Excuse me.
257
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:23,470
Europe is looking
better and better.
258
00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:25,514
I still think Pretzel talk
259
00:13:25,681 --> 00:13:26,765
has real potential.
260
00:13:26,932 --> 00:13:29,226
Yeah! Two likes on Facebook.
261
00:13:29,685 --> 00:13:31,144
Have you checked lately?
262
00:13:32,354 --> 00:13:34,147
After the fiasco with ESPN,
263
00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:35,315
who the hell is going to come
264
00:13:35,399 --> 00:13:36,441
to my show?
265
00:13:36,525 --> 00:13:37,693
The Marina pretzel bit
266
00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:39,653
got 30 000 hits on You Tube.
267
00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:43,615
You posted it? How could you!
268
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:45,868
Of course I did.
It's... It's funny...
269
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,120
Why does everybody let me down?
270
00:13:48,245 --> 00:13:51,707
So, then how come
Max Bauer wants to see you?
271
00:13:52,416 --> 00:13:54,126
- Who?
- Ahem.
272
00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:55,961
He commented on the video.
273
00:13:56,962 --> 00:13:58,755
Max... the Mallard?
274
00:13:58,881 --> 00:13:59,965
Ahem.
275
00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:01,842
- You're kidding!
- No.
276
00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:05,888
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
277
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:07,723
You know what?
278
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:08,891
You let me know
279
00:14:08,974 --> 00:14:10,767
when you wanna sink the show.
280
00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:13,770
Oh! Oh my God!
What am I gonna do?
281
00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:14,897
Uhm... Ah!
282
00:14:17,316 --> 00:14:19,151
Pedia!
283
00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:20,861
Thank you, Pedia! Thank you!
284
00:14:23,739 --> 00:14:25,240
Pedia!
285
00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:36,752
- Mhwa! Thank you!
- Good bye.
286
00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:43,050
Our former
Olympic ski jumping star,
287
00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:46,053
Max Bauer, became
the third celebrity
288
00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:48,514
to be voted off
"Gone to the Dogs".
289
00:14:49,348 --> 00:14:51,850
Well, that was an interesting
learning experience
290
00:14:51,934 --> 00:14:54,061
about group dynamics.
291
00:14:54,353 --> 00:14:55,521
Hi, to all my fans!
292
00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:57,356
After successfully finishing
293
00:14:57,439 --> 00:14:59,358
round two, Bauer couldn't hold
294
00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:01,568
his own among
a pack of semi-wild dogs
295
00:15:01,652 --> 00:15:04,029
in the Liechtenstein outback.
296
00:16:26,445 --> 00:16:27,779
He's still not here!
297
00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:30,365
He's still not here!
298
00:16:31,116 --> 00:16:32,618
Maybe he booked a better show.
299
00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:35,621
Yeah, he's working
with a better breed of dogs.
300
00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:40,501
Pissy, annoyed, frustrated!
301
00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:45,172
Oh, for the muse of fire that...
302
00:16:45,297 --> 00:16:46,465
Where's the fire?
303
00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:49,468
Oh, my God! Hi!
304
00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:51,512
- Oh, no!
- I was just goofing around.
305
00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:52,846
Hi!
306
00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:53,931
It's Max.
307
00:16:54,014 --> 00:16:55,224
Welcome to New York.
308
00:16:55,307 --> 00:16:56,642
- Welcome to Pretzel Talk...
- You're...
309
00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:58,977
I... I am... Victoria.
310
00:16:59,102 --> 00:17:01,188
- Victoria Tim.
- Victoria... Nice to meet you.
311
00:17:01,271 --> 00:17:02,731
Yeah. Nice to meet you too.
312
00:17:08,946 --> 00:17:10,322
All right, shall we start?
313
00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:16,703
- Mister Bauer...
- You can call me Max.
314
00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:18,288
- Max?
- Yeah.
315
00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:21,291
Not only
did you win the World Cup,
316
00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:23,794
you set the world's
unofficial ski jumping record
317
00:17:23,919 --> 00:17:27,548
of 954 feet in Albertville,
318
00:17:27,631 --> 00:17:29,633
managing to land on only one ski
319
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,093
after the other one came off!
320
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:34,471
Wow! Somebody
did their homework, right?
321
00:17:35,639 --> 00:17:36,640
What's it like to fly
322
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:38,475
at a speed of 75 miles per hour
323
00:17:38,559 --> 00:17:41,270
over an area
as large as a football field?
324
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:45,524
Oh, it's like
slow motion, shhhhh...
325
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,401
if everything goes well.
326
00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:49,945
How do you overcome your fear?
327
00:17:51,363 --> 00:17:53,198
I imagine the space below me
328
00:17:53,323 --> 00:17:54,867
not as empty,
but filled with energies
329
00:17:54,950 --> 00:17:57,703
and with voices, hoo...
330
00:17:57,828 --> 00:18:01,206
- and spirits, right?
- That's fascinating!
331
00:18:01,290 --> 00:18:02,291
Yeah.
332
00:18:02,374 --> 00:18:03,375
With the same abandon
333
00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:04,585
that make you hurl yourself
334
00:18:04,710 --> 00:18:06,461
off 350 foot platforms,
335
00:18:06,545 --> 00:18:08,005
you throw
yourself into all sorts
336
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:09,298
of celebrity odd jobs,
337
00:18:09,464 --> 00:18:11,300
and everywhere fans wanna see
338
00:18:11,383 --> 00:18:13,719
your famous "Tele-Max".
339
00:18:13,969 --> 00:18:15,220
Oh, that! Yeah.
340
00:18:15,304 --> 00:18:16,305
The trademark finish.
341
00:18:16,388 --> 00:18:17,389
You execute it
342
00:18:17,472 --> 00:18:18,891
with the elegance of a dancer...
343
00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:20,851
after your legendary landing.
344
00:18:21,685 --> 00:18:23,228
I mean, you are the dancer.
345
00:18:23,312 --> 00:18:24,688
I just move around
346
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:25,856
and the people look at me,
347
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:27,733
I look back, and then they clap.
348
00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:30,402
Hardly! Could you...
349
00:18:30,652 --> 00:18:32,905
maybe do
your Tele-Max for us?
350
00:18:33,155 --> 00:18:34,615
Oh, nobody wants to see that.
351
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:37,159
I'm sure we all would love
to see that, right folks?
352
00:18:37,242 --> 00:18:39,244
- Right?
- Yeah, we wanna see it!
353
00:18:39,328 --> 00:18:40,454
- You wanna see it?
- Yeah!
354
00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:42,080
Okay, I'll do it.
355
00:18:43,415 --> 00:18:49,463
Besides landing in
one piece of course, form is
356
00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:50,756
the most important thing.
357
00:18:50,881 --> 00:18:51,965
So...
358
00:18:52,049 --> 00:18:53,842
God, the stocks are up big.
359
00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:01,058
All right, so besides landing
360
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:03,644
in one piece, form is
the most important thing.
361
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,062
Watch!
362
00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:09,274
And when you land
and when you bow
363
00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:12,319
you must hold their attention.
364
00:19:13,362 --> 00:19:14,905
Then you come up slowly...
365
00:19:15,322 --> 00:19:17,950
slowly you hold, you hold...
366
00:19:18,242 --> 00:19:20,869
you give them
the Pavarotti smile...
367
00:19:21,912 --> 00:19:24,248
and the audience goes wild!
368
00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:26,542
What an amazing
feat of strength!
369
00:19:26,625 --> 00:19:28,293
The coordination!
370
00:19:28,877 --> 00:19:30,879
Does this man
have any weaknesses?
371
00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:33,215
My weakness is finding out
372
00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:34,424
about beautiful women.
373
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:38,220
Sorry, guys,
it was a false alarm.
374
00:19:44,643 --> 00:19:46,436
So, you were born
375
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:47,771
- in Liechtenstein...
- Yeah.
376
00:19:47,855 --> 00:19:49,898
you speak
four languages fluently,
377
00:19:50,065 --> 00:19:52,734
have trained Germany,
Switzerland and the US...
378
00:19:52,943 --> 00:19:54,152
Where is home?
379
00:19:54,528 --> 00:19:56,238
Home is where the heart is.
380
00:19:56,864 --> 00:19:59,283
- Oh, that's totally true.
- Yeah.
381
00:19:59,992 --> 00:20:01,827
A perfect way to end the show.
382
00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:03,203
Thank you, Mr Mallard.
383
00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:05,330
Sorry, Max...
384
00:20:05,414 --> 00:20:06,832
No, no, no! Wait, wait, wait!
385
00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:08,292
You can't... Excuse me!
386
00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:10,377
You can't end your show
387
00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:11,587
without telling the audience
388
00:20:11,670 --> 00:20:14,047
- about your film!
- Yeah!
389
00:20:14,173 --> 00:20:15,465
Okay!
390
00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:17,259
Visit us on pretzeltalk.com
391
00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:18,427
where you can download
392
00:20:18,510 --> 00:20:19,803
my movie "Tango Schmango"
393
00:20:19,887 --> 00:20:22,014
or order a limited edition DVD.
394
00:20:27,978 --> 00:20:29,146
Lower.
395
00:20:30,355 --> 00:20:32,858
We will see you next time.
396
00:20:32,941 --> 00:20:37,404
I, uh... I guess I'll just go.
397
00:20:37,571 --> 00:20:38,989
I'll see you guys later.
398
00:20:44,494 --> 00:20:45,746
Let's look at it.
399
00:20:55,714 --> 00:20:56,882
- Wow!
- It's good.
400
00:20:57,883 --> 00:20:59,134
Great job!
401
00:20:59,384 --> 00:21:00,511
Capturing me from this angle,
402
00:21:00,594 --> 00:21:02,262
I mean, I look fantastic.
403
00:21:13,315 --> 00:21:14,441
For you.
404
00:21:14,942 --> 00:21:17,402
There's a love scene
that embarrassed my mom.
405
00:21:18,904 --> 00:21:20,364
I'm not uptight.
406
00:21:21,073 --> 00:21:22,741
Tango Schmango.
407
00:21:27,496 --> 00:21:28,664
I don't know,
I'm kind of shy, Vicky.
408
00:21:28,789 --> 00:21:30,165
I don't know what to say.
409
00:21:34,336 --> 00:21:38,966
And... Tango Schmango.
410
00:22:18,714 --> 00:22:20,132
You all right?
411
00:22:22,050 --> 00:22:23,468
Oh, here we are.
412
00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:25,679
This is it.
413
00:22:26,555 --> 00:22:28,015
Um... could you wait a sec?
414
00:22:28,098 --> 00:22:29,933
I wanna make sure
the workers didn't leave a mess.
415
00:22:30,893 --> 00:22:32,352
I only have eyes for you.
416
00:22:49,286 --> 00:22:50,495
Can I help you?
417
00:22:51,914 --> 00:22:53,081
Oh, uh...
418
00:22:54,708 --> 00:22:56,502
Miss Timm
is coming down to meet me.
419
00:22:59,296 --> 00:23:01,215
What the hell
is she doing up there?
420
00:23:01,548 --> 00:23:02,758
All that noise!
421
00:23:02,841 --> 00:23:04,593
It's like
living on a construction site!
422
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:06,386
It's terrible,
of course, you know.
423
00:23:07,054 --> 00:23:09,139
I'll make sure
the noise stops at once.
424
00:23:09,389 --> 00:23:11,016
Oh, well thank you.
425
00:23:12,309 --> 00:23:14,478
Ah! Thank you again.
426
00:23:14,895 --> 00:23:16,897
It keeps me up at night.
427
00:23:17,064 --> 00:23:19,358
I... I can't create me art.
428
00:23:19,733 --> 00:23:20,734
What is your art?
429
00:23:20,984 --> 00:23:22,361
I used to be a singer,
430
00:23:22,444 --> 00:23:25,572
but nothing
was really panning out.
431
00:23:25,656 --> 00:23:27,282
so now I'm...
432
00:23:28,575 --> 00:23:29,618
Go on.
433
00:23:30,994 --> 00:23:32,246
I'm creating collages
434
00:23:32,329 --> 00:23:34,998
of butterflies and... vaginas.
435
00:23:37,584 --> 00:23:38,669
Sounds interesting.
436
00:23:40,379 --> 00:23:41,380
What do you do?
437
00:23:41,713 --> 00:23:42,714
About what?
438
00:23:46,051 --> 00:23:48,345
No, I won
the World Cup in ski jump.
439
00:23:49,179 --> 00:23:50,264
Now I'm a film maker.
440
00:23:50,597 --> 00:23:51,598
Wow!
441
00:23:51,682 --> 00:23:53,141
I think you should forget
442
00:23:53,225 --> 00:23:55,060
about everything else
and just do your art.
443
00:23:55,435 --> 00:23:56,520
Right?
444
00:23:56,728 --> 00:23:58,438
March to the beat
of your own drum.
445
00:23:58,939 --> 00:24:02,234
Katchook, katchook, katchook...
446
00:24:02,317 --> 00:24:03,485
You think?
447
00:24:04,361 --> 00:24:07,573
Yeah. Take risks.
Leap before you look.
448
00:24:10,033 --> 00:24:11,076
Stay there.
449
00:24:13,245 --> 00:24:15,038
Why?
450
00:24:15,372 --> 00:24:16,540
May I?
451
00:24:17,583 --> 00:24:18,584
Okay.
452
00:24:22,796 --> 00:24:24,965
And... come closer.
453
00:24:26,300 --> 00:24:27,509
Yeah!
454
00:24:33,515 --> 00:24:36,018
So, we're on
a vacation in Mexico,
455
00:24:37,352 --> 00:24:39,146
in an area
called Cuetlaxcoapan,
456
00:24:40,314 --> 00:24:41,773
which means "where serpents
457
00:24:41,857 --> 00:24:43,942
change their skin".
458
00:24:44,067 --> 00:24:45,068
And then, without warning,
459
00:24:45,152 --> 00:24:46,195
my wife kicks me out.
460
00:24:46,778 --> 00:24:48,113
Why did she kick you out?
461
00:24:48,238 --> 00:24:50,657
Because father
was from an old Prussian clan,
462
00:24:50,741 --> 00:24:53,493
and he said
I wasn't macho enough.
463
00:24:53,785 --> 00:24:55,162
And he didn't like
464
00:24:55,245 --> 00:24:56,580
that I was the nurturing type!
465
00:24:56,872 --> 00:24:59,082
It's great if a man
is capable of nurturing.
466
00:24:59,208 --> 00:25:00,834
Exactly, right?
467
00:25:01,293 --> 00:25:02,336
So I found myself alone
468
00:25:02,419 --> 00:25:04,004
in the Mexican countryside.
469
00:25:04,546 --> 00:25:06,840
And... I start walking
470
00:25:06,924 --> 00:25:09,760
and I come to this
tiny mountain village.
471
00:25:10,093 --> 00:25:12,679
It was high noon,
there was not a soul around,
472
00:25:12,763 --> 00:25:13,889
and I was totally lost.
473
00:25:13,972 --> 00:25:14,973
And then...
474
00:25:15,057 --> 00:25:18,101
suddenly
I hear this pained "moo'.
475
00:25:19,978 --> 00:25:22,272
And there was
this emaciated cow
476
00:25:22,397 --> 00:25:23,857
with its ribs sticking out,
477
00:25:23,982 --> 00:25:26,527
grazing
in the dry grass between cacti.
478
00:25:26,777 --> 00:25:27,819
Cacti?
479
00:25:27,903 --> 00:25:29,154
It's the plural of cactus.
480
00:25:29,655 --> 00:25:31,406
I see something
sticking out it's rear,
481
00:25:31,490 --> 00:25:34,159
and it's
the rotten corpse of a calf.
482
00:25:34,284 --> 00:25:36,870
- No!
- Yes, and I mean, I...
483
00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:38,997
I didn't know
what I could've done!
484
00:25:39,373 --> 00:25:41,583
Right?
I mean, I felt so helpless
485
00:25:41,667 --> 00:25:42,918
and the cow was doomed
486
00:25:43,001 --> 00:25:44,419
and I only had my
487
00:25:44,503 --> 00:25:46,046
Nordic walking poles with me.
488
00:25:46,129 --> 00:25:47,172
That's horrible!
489
00:25:47,256 --> 00:25:49,842
So... I take a picture.
490
00:25:49,925 --> 00:25:50,926
You did?
491
00:25:58,767 --> 00:26:00,686
- Ugh!
- I know.
492
00:26:00,853 --> 00:26:02,855
Oh, my God!
493
00:26:05,107 --> 00:26:06,316
The world around us
494
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:08,110
reflects how we feel inside.
495
00:26:09,570 --> 00:26:10,612
Yeah.
496
00:26:11,822 --> 00:26:13,031
Then I remember...
497
00:26:14,283 --> 00:26:16,577
that I am
master of my own destiny.
498
00:26:17,494 --> 00:26:19,538
The I sit down, and I...
499
00:26:20,372 --> 00:26:21,373
close my eyes
500
00:26:21,456 --> 00:26:23,166
and I envision
the perfect woman.
501
00:26:23,917 --> 00:26:25,252
Dear God,
502
00:26:25,586 --> 00:26:27,880
I pray that I may
choose my life companion
503
00:26:27,963 --> 00:26:31,008
according to Thy law
of perfect soul union.
504
00:26:31,216 --> 00:26:32,259
Amen.
505
00:26:33,886 --> 00:26:35,304
And then...
506
00:26:35,387 --> 00:26:36,805
and then I get this from you!
507
00:26:36,889 --> 00:26:38,932
I mean...
508
00:26:39,016 --> 00:26:40,434
This is amazing!
509
00:26:45,189 --> 00:26:47,357
"I attract the perfect man."
510
00:26:49,735 --> 00:26:51,737
"I attract the perfect man."
511
00:26:52,404 --> 00:26:54,656
"My soul mate is here and now."
512
00:26:55,616 --> 00:26:57,075
Yes, I am.
513
00:27:13,967 --> 00:27:15,469
I'm sorry.
514
00:27:21,350 --> 00:27:23,352
Way too early...
515
00:27:27,356 --> 00:27:29,149
...but I got a plane to catch.
516
00:27:34,988 --> 00:27:36,990
The early bird catches the worm.
517
00:27:38,325 --> 00:27:39,326
Yeah.
518
00:27:39,493 --> 00:27:40,994
They consider
too much the good luck
519
00:27:41,078 --> 00:27:42,829
of the early bird.
520
00:27:43,830 --> 00:27:45,666
The bad luck of the early worm.
521
00:28:03,267 --> 00:28:05,060
Ooh!
522
00:28:07,813 --> 00:28:09,815
Gotta go. It's late.
523
00:28:10,899 --> 00:28:12,901
Oh, that's a big sack!
524
00:28:15,445 --> 00:28:16,738
All right!
525
00:28:18,448 --> 00:28:19,658
I got a part of you.
526
00:28:19,741 --> 00:28:21,034
I'm protected.
527
00:28:28,208 --> 00:28:29,209
Ooh!
528
00:28:29,334 --> 00:28:30,627
Hello, my queen of tango
529
00:28:31,295 --> 00:28:32,713
I look forward to hours,
530
00:28:32,921 --> 00:28:36,508
days, years
and a life together,
531
00:28:36,592 --> 00:28:41,346
maybe universes
we can experience together.
532
00:28:41,805 --> 00:28:43,807
Ich kuesse
deine Seele, mein Schatz.
533
00:28:44,266 --> 00:28:45,726
I kiss your soul, my heart.
534
00:28:47,436 --> 00:28:48,854
It's so amazing!
535
00:28:50,063 --> 00:28:51,607
And we didn't even have sex.
536
00:28:51,690 --> 00:28:53,400
That is amazing!
537
00:28:54,568 --> 00:28:55,903
What's wrong with him?
538
00:28:56,111 --> 00:28:57,196
Nothing!
539
00:28:57,321 --> 00:28:58,363
He really wants
540
00:28:58,447 --> 00:28:59,531
to get to know me first.
541
00:28:59,615 --> 00:29:01,408
He saw you with that frown tape?
542
00:29:01,533 --> 00:29:03,827
No!
But he'd be impressed
543
00:29:03,911 --> 00:29:05,746
that I'm not
messing up my body with Botox.
544
00:29:06,038 --> 00:29:07,414
We think very much alike.
545
00:29:07,664 --> 00:29:08,707
I'm sure.
546
00:29:09,958 --> 00:29:11,376
It's better than a dream.
547
00:29:11,835 --> 00:29:13,837
Finally, a nice wholesome guy
548
00:29:14,087 --> 00:29:15,964
He has
such a strong set of teeth!
549
00:29:17,716 --> 00:29:19,718
Oh, it's him! Oh, my God!
550
00:29:22,596 --> 00:29:24,306
Oh, my God!
551
00:29:30,479 --> 00:29:31,647
Are you all right?
552
00:29:31,939 --> 00:29:33,941
Oh!
553
00:29:34,233 --> 00:29:35,901
Uh... hold on a sec, please.
554
00:29:40,364 --> 00:29:42,032
Look! It's fake!
555
00:29:42,324 --> 00:29:43,367
Look!
556
00:29:45,369 --> 00:29:47,871
It's stuff like that
557
00:29:48,872 --> 00:29:51,041
that makes me
think of you all the time.
558
00:29:51,583 --> 00:29:53,585
I think of you all the time.
559
00:29:53,669 --> 00:29:55,087
I just sent you a shooting star.
560
00:29:55,170 --> 00:29:56,171
Did you get it?
561
00:29:56,380 --> 00:29:57,464
Um...
562
00:29:57,673 --> 00:29:59,007
there's a high rise building...
563
00:29:59,132 --> 00:30:01,301
but I'm sure
there was a shooting star.
564
00:30:02,678 --> 00:30:04,054
Ho, ho, Mischka!
565
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:06,181
That's one of my colleagues.
566
00:30:06,431 --> 00:30:07,891
Bears on skis?
567
00:30:08,058 --> 00:30:11,186
On double blades!
568
00:30:12,604 --> 00:30:14,606
I can't wait to see you again.
569
00:30:14,731 --> 00:30:16,275
I'm so horny,
570
00:30:17,276 --> 00:30:20,237
I'm taking you
to bed with me right now.
571
00:30:42,092 --> 00:30:43,135
Who?
572
00:30:43,510 --> 00:30:44,887
It's me.
573
00:30:48,140 --> 00:30:49,641
- Hello!
- Hey.
574
00:30:50,684 --> 00:30:52,227
I'd like to wish you good luck
575
00:30:52,311 --> 00:30:53,979
with the big ham.
576
00:30:54,062 --> 00:30:56,190
Thank you,
but don't make a bid deal of it.
577
00:30:56,356 --> 00:30:57,441
Especially because nobody
578
00:30:57,524 --> 00:30:58,942
watched his interview, right?
579
00:30:59,693 --> 00:31:00,986
Can you be a dear and grab this?
580
00:31:01,069 --> 00:31:02,196
Sure.
581
00:31:02,321 --> 00:31:04,489
Hmm?
582
00:31:06,033 --> 00:31:07,284
Who is it?
583
00:31:07,367 --> 00:31:08,911
Your soul mate!
584
00:31:10,579 --> 00:31:12,206
How do I look?
585
00:31:12,331 --> 00:31:13,916
Babushka!
586
00:31:16,126 --> 00:31:18,128
Frau Riefenstahl,
587
00:31:18,212 --> 00:31:20,797
- the filmmaker.
- No paparazzi, please!
588
00:31:20,881 --> 00:31:23,258
No!
589
00:31:26,637 --> 00:31:28,138
Wait, wait, wait!
590
00:31:28,263 --> 00:31:30,766
Wait! Oh, my God!
591
00:31:31,266 --> 00:31:32,559
What happened to your head?
592
00:31:32,768 --> 00:31:33,852
I got shot out of a cannon
593
00:31:33,936 --> 00:31:35,437
and landed on a bear.
594
00:31:35,771 --> 00:31:37,689
Oh, it's not funny, come on.
595
00:31:38,315 --> 00:31:40,609
Unfortunately,
he tore up your hat.
596
00:31:40,901 --> 00:31:42,277
Is the bear still alive?
597
00:31:43,403 --> 00:31:45,781
Enzo, the bear
could've mauled him to death.
598
00:31:46,406 --> 00:31:48,909
Okay, well, I'm on my way.
599
00:31:49,493 --> 00:31:51,995
No, no, no, I can take that.
600
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:54,122
All right,
all right, you take the trash.
601
00:32:17,396 --> 00:32:19,314
It's Christmas time!
602
00:32:28,490 --> 00:32:31,869
And the Ferrari
of vegetable peelers.
603
00:32:33,495 --> 00:32:35,038
Thank you, I can use it.
604
00:32:35,873 --> 00:32:37,875
Please speak English,
605
00:32:37,958 --> 00:32:39,418
I have to acclimatise myself.
606
00:32:39,501 --> 00:32:40,544
Okay.
607
00:32:46,592 --> 00:32:48,260
Knives!
608
00:32:48,385 --> 00:32:50,137
You cook?
609
00:32:50,679 --> 00:32:51,680
Oh, yeah.
610
00:32:51,763 --> 00:32:53,140
You are the nurturing type.
611
00:32:55,350 --> 00:32:56,894
- Here.
- I don't have a stove, though.
612
00:32:56,977 --> 00:32:58,228
My jerk of a landlord took it.
613
00:32:59,146 --> 00:33:00,314
Don't worry about that,
614
00:33:00,397 --> 00:33:01,648
I've got
something much better for you.
615
00:33:01,773 --> 00:33:03,025
A vibrator.
616
00:33:03,108 --> 00:33:05,569
I mean a dehydrator.
617
00:33:07,112 --> 00:33:09,114
You're a raw foodist?
618
00:33:13,619 --> 00:33:15,245
You bought a clothesline too?
619
00:33:15,579 --> 00:33:18,081
Ever heard
of clothes-pin cookies?
620
00:33:18,415 --> 00:33:20,417
No,
but I can't wait to find out.
621
00:33:20,542 --> 00:33:21,793
You will.
622
00:33:22,753 --> 00:33:24,755
- Oh, look!
- Oh!
623
00:33:25,964 --> 00:33:27,633
- Let's try them on.
- Okay.
624
00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:33,639
It's awesome! I love it!
625
00:33:46,568 --> 00:33:47,986
I love that jacket. You wore it
626
00:33:48,070 --> 00:33:49,238
on the red carpet, right?
627
00:33:49,488 --> 00:33:51,490
Yeah, Giorgio
personally gifted it to me
628
00:33:51,615 --> 00:33:56,495
at the height
of the Mallard mania.
629
00:33:58,997 --> 00:34:00,999
Giorgio, as in Giorgio Armani?
630
00:34:03,794 --> 00:34:04,878
Yeah.
631
00:34:09,007 --> 00:34:10,801
How did you
get all of this through customs?
632
00:34:11,134 --> 00:34:12,886
That was
the least of my problems.
633
00:34:12,970 --> 00:34:15,180
They asked me
if I worked here illegally,
634
00:34:15,264 --> 00:34:17,307
since I came back so soon.
635
00:34:17,683 --> 00:34:18,767
What did you tell them?
636
00:34:18,892 --> 00:34:20,143
I told them that...
637
00:34:22,646 --> 00:34:25,899
I uh... came
to see the love of my life.
638
00:34:43,375 --> 00:34:46,003
Shh... Close your eyes.
639
00:34:54,094 --> 00:34:55,846
What?
640
00:34:59,308 --> 00:35:01,310
Ah! Is this...
641
00:35:01,518 --> 00:35:02,936
My world Championship medal.
642
00:35:03,228 --> 00:35:04,229
Wow!
643
00:35:04,521 --> 00:35:06,064
It looks better
on you than on me.
644
00:35:06,398 --> 00:35:07,524
Mmm.
645
00:35:12,779 --> 00:35:14,198
- Mmm...
- Mmm?
646
00:35:14,615 --> 00:35:15,657
Do you hear that?
647
00:35:15,741 --> 00:35:16,867
Hear what?
648
00:35:17,117 --> 00:35:18,202
The noise.
649
00:35:19,620 --> 00:35:21,955
I think
it's coming from... from there.
650
00:35:22,039 --> 00:35:23,207
Uh...
651
00:35:23,665 --> 00:35:24,833
Can we look?
652
00:35:25,250 --> 00:35:26,418
I don't... think...
653
00:35:44,269 --> 00:35:45,646
There's a big mouse!
654
00:35:47,272 --> 00:35:48,774
Okay, give me the light.
655
00:35:52,653 --> 00:35:53,695
Be careful!
656
00:35:55,489 --> 00:35:57,491
Ah, damn!
657
00:35:58,116 --> 00:35:59,743
I almost had it!
658
00:36:00,369 --> 00:36:02,204
He went out
through a hole in the wall.
659
00:36:02,996 --> 00:36:03,997
Oh!
660
00:36:04,248 --> 00:36:05,457
Careful! It's dangerous
661
00:36:05,582 --> 00:36:06,875
to inhale mouse droppings.
662
00:36:07,084 --> 00:36:08,585
It's rat droppings!
663
00:36:10,212 --> 00:36:11,463
Doesn't matter.
664
00:36:12,965 --> 00:36:14,883
Give me a hammer and some nails.
665
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:24,643
Thank you.
666
00:36:39,116 --> 00:36:40,200
A little more...
667
00:36:47,082 --> 00:36:48,375
It's so great to have a man
668
00:36:48,500 --> 00:36:49,751
around the house.
669
00:36:50,711 --> 00:36:52,671
It's great to have
"moi" around the house.
670
00:36:52,921 --> 00:36:56,383
"Moi" needs a shower! Ahh!
671
00:37:57,694 --> 00:37:59,404
Look, I found a special place
672
00:37:59,488 --> 00:38:00,531
for your medal.
673
00:38:02,032 --> 00:38:03,033
What's that?
674
00:38:03,575 --> 00:38:04,660
That...
675
00:38:05,035 --> 00:38:07,579
uh... that's Pedia, the penguin.
676
00:38:07,704 --> 00:38:09,998
My good luck charm
from when I was a kid.
677
00:38:12,251 --> 00:38:13,585
Well, he looks familiar.
678
00:38:14,002 --> 00:38:16,755
He was a ski jumper also.
679
00:38:16,839 --> 00:38:17,965
Really?
680
00:38:18,507 --> 00:38:19,591
Yeah.
681
00:38:19,716 --> 00:38:21,677
Pedia and I
both faced challenges.
682
00:38:22,177 --> 00:38:24,012
As a girl
I wasn't allowed to compete,
683
00:38:24,096 --> 00:38:25,973
and Pedia's jumbo ears
slowed him down,
684
00:38:26,056 --> 00:38:27,766
which
made him crash all the time.
685
00:38:28,392 --> 00:38:30,853
Then one day Ken broke his foot,
686
00:38:31,395 --> 00:38:34,690
Pedia jumped in
and he won Olympic gold!
687
00:38:35,232 --> 00:38:37,234
Pedia did
a lot better than I did.
688
00:38:38,068 --> 00:38:39,111
And he brought me
689
00:38:39,194 --> 00:38:40,946
my real life Olympic champion.
690
00:38:46,743 --> 00:38:47,995
You are unusual.
691
00:38:49,079 --> 00:38:50,455
I was such a tomboy.
692
00:38:51,790 --> 00:38:53,000
And now...
693
00:38:54,668 --> 00:38:57,045
you are all woman.
694
00:38:58,130 --> 00:39:00,132
My mistress ice queen.
695
00:39:01,133 --> 00:39:04,386
Mmm... mistress.
696
00:39:05,137 --> 00:39:06,555
You're not married, are you?
697
00:39:06,930 --> 00:39:08,432
Happily divorced.
698
00:39:09,183 --> 00:39:11,435
Mmm... You're my ice prince.
699
00:39:13,437 --> 00:39:14,730
Anybody ever tell you
700
00:39:14,813 --> 00:39:16,815
you could've been
a great skater.
701
00:39:17,691 --> 00:39:18,734
All the time.
702
00:39:18,901 --> 00:39:20,402
My mom, I mean, she...
703
00:39:22,029 --> 00:39:24,156
she made me
take lessons, including ballet.
704
00:39:24,990 --> 00:39:26,283
But she never managed to turn me
705
00:39:26,366 --> 00:39:28,118
into a figure skating fruitcake.
706
00:39:29,119 --> 00:39:31,622
Hey, did you know
that the Olympics...
707
00:39:32,748 --> 00:39:34,666
- were fixed?
- No!
708
00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:38,962
The night
before my Olympic competition...
709
00:39:40,088 --> 00:39:41,215
You know, this pretty Russian,
710
00:39:41,298 --> 00:39:42,925
I mean,
a Russian official told me
711
00:39:43,008 --> 00:39:44,676
that it had been decided that...
712
00:39:46,136 --> 00:39:47,221
I was going to be fourth,
713
00:39:47,304 --> 00:39:48,347
even though I had beaten
714
00:39:48,430 --> 00:39:49,848
everyone at the World's before,
715
00:39:50,474 --> 00:39:52,017
including Benny Bennovitz.
716
00:39:53,644 --> 00:39:55,312
And then,
the next day I ended up being...
717
00:39:55,395 --> 00:39:56,772
- Fourth.
- And they claimed
718
00:39:56,855 --> 00:39:58,273
I had touched the ground
719
00:39:58,357 --> 00:39:59,942
ten inches before the fall line,
720
00:40:00,025 --> 00:40:01,235
which was total bullshit!
721
00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:02,736
That sucks!
722
00:40:04,112 --> 00:40:05,364
And Benny Bennovitz
723
00:40:05,614 --> 00:40:08,200
who has
Pedia's nose, he got the gold.
724
00:40:52,244 --> 00:40:54,705
Up till now I was living
only for my daughters.
725
00:40:57,583 --> 00:40:58,750
But when the bear
726
00:40:58,834 --> 00:41:00,169
had my head in its fangs,
727
00:41:01,587 --> 00:41:02,629
it came to me.
728
00:41:05,090 --> 00:41:06,758
I don't want to live
another minute
729
00:41:06,842 --> 00:41:07,885
without you.
730
00:41:13,348 --> 00:41:14,725
May I penetrate you?
731
00:42:20,415 --> 00:42:22,209
Don't be embarrassed.
732
00:42:24,169 --> 00:42:26,046
I have these frown lines.
733
00:42:26,255 --> 00:42:27,631
I have them too! Look...
734
00:42:27,756 --> 00:42:28,924
I have a Christmas tree.
735
00:42:36,390 --> 00:42:37,850
Do you have
silly dreams as well?
736
00:42:37,975 --> 00:42:39,142
Like what?
737
00:42:39,393 --> 00:42:40,686
I dreamed...
738
00:42:40,769 --> 00:42:43,689
I was riding
an elephant all night long.
739
00:42:44,565 --> 00:42:46,400
It was a small elephant.
740
00:42:47,818 --> 00:42:50,279
Very intelligent.
741
00:42:50,362 --> 00:42:51,780
He knew...
742
00:42:52,823 --> 00:42:54,199
He knew where to go.
743
00:42:54,366 --> 00:42:55,909
Oh, yeah.
744
00:43:00,372 --> 00:43:02,374
Don't tough my butt.
745
00:43:04,042 --> 00:43:06,128
- Don't touch my butt!
- Why?
746
00:43:06,587 --> 00:43:08,213
It's sore from all the riding.
747
00:43:25,272 --> 00:43:29,151
Wow!
A whole drawer all to myself!
748
00:43:29,234 --> 00:43:31,904
That's all I could spare.
749
00:43:32,613 --> 00:43:34,072
Right, here.
750
00:43:34,323 --> 00:43:36,617
- Merci beaucoup.
- De rien.
751
00:43:36,825 --> 00:43:38,827
Just let me check what...
752
00:43:39,411 --> 00:43:41,413
what have we got in here.
753
00:43:43,123 --> 00:43:45,209
Oh! Look!
754
00:43:45,501 --> 00:43:47,044
Oh, your twins.
755
00:43:47,586 --> 00:43:49,004
Mari and Kari.
756
00:43:49,796 --> 00:43:51,465
Haven't seen
them in over two years.
757
00:43:52,591 --> 00:43:54,176
How can you
stand being separated?
758
00:43:54,927 --> 00:43:57,095
'Cause my lying crazy ass ex
759
00:43:57,262 --> 00:43:58,722
threatened to tell the press
760
00:43:58,805 --> 00:44:00,015
that I molested them...
761
00:44:01,975 --> 00:44:03,268
just so the court would give her
762
00:44:03,352 --> 00:44:04,770
every penny I owned.
763
00:44:06,730 --> 00:44:08,649
But at least
my little ones are provided for.
764
00:44:10,108 --> 00:44:13,278
They wonder
why I swore off marriage.
765
00:44:25,916 --> 00:44:27,543
I wish we'd met ten years ago.
766
00:44:28,627 --> 00:44:29,795
Me too.
767
00:44:31,922 --> 00:44:33,507
We can still make up for it.
768
00:44:34,132 --> 00:44:35,342
How?
769
00:44:37,427 --> 00:44:40,305
We just live
ten years longer than destined.
770
00:44:41,223 --> 00:44:42,683
- Right?
- Mmm.
771
00:44:45,477 --> 00:44:46,895
I have something for you.
772
00:44:55,153 --> 00:44:56,405
What's that?
773
00:44:57,322 --> 00:44:58,699
To my soul mate?
774
00:45:10,294 --> 00:45:11,587
"Dear soul mate..."
775
00:45:12,963 --> 00:45:14,548
2007?
776
00:45:15,632 --> 00:45:17,259
"I'm so happy
we found each other.
777
00:45:17,342 --> 00:45:18,802
We are both European.
778
00:45:19,469 --> 00:45:21,889
You are 5'10",
a professional dancer
779
00:45:25,309 --> 00:45:26,852
or even an Olympian.
780
00:45:27,686 --> 00:45:29,479
We have one to two children
781
00:45:29,646 --> 00:45:31,648
and we live
on Riverside Drive..."
782
00:45:34,359 --> 00:45:35,527
Wow!
783
00:45:36,904 --> 00:45:37,905
It feels like we've known
784
00:45:38,030 --> 00:45:39,364
each other for lifetimes.
785
00:45:40,657 --> 00:45:42,659
- Is that too much?
- No.
786
00:45:42,826 --> 00:45:44,161
- No?
- No.
787
00:45:45,537 --> 00:45:47,539
We'll raise
our one to two children...
788
00:45:48,624 --> 00:45:49,750
on Riverside Drive,
789
00:45:49,917 --> 00:45:51,126
And if I have to bag groceries
790
00:45:51,251 --> 00:45:52,878
at Trader Joe's...
791
00:45:53,962 --> 00:45:55,255
we'll do it.
792
00:45:57,799 --> 00:45:59,343
I'll do it.
793
00:46:04,348 --> 00:46:06,725
My soul bows to your soul.
794
00:46:15,484 --> 00:46:17,486
This really is
the Ferrari of peelers.
795
00:46:18,737 --> 00:46:19,947
Max?
796
00:46:20,072 --> 00:46:21,156
You like it.
797
00:46:21,281 --> 00:46:22,282
Answer me.
798
00:46:22,407 --> 00:46:23,909
Check out
Peter Black's camera work.
799
00:46:23,992 --> 00:46:25,619
...understood? On your knees!
800
00:46:29,998 --> 00:46:32,376
See how blatantly
he positions the lights?
801
00:46:32,709 --> 00:46:34,127
- Mmm.
- Cool, huh?
802
00:46:37,297 --> 00:46:38,966
See the
reflection in their pupils...
803
00:46:41,301 --> 00:46:42,928
except those tramps
don't have your beauty
804
00:46:43,053 --> 00:46:45,722
and fluidity
from years of dance.
805
00:46:48,559 --> 00:46:49,852
I'm gonna make lunch.
806
00:47:03,782 --> 00:47:05,242
Vicky!
807
00:47:05,450 --> 00:47:07,828
Oh, my God! Are you okay?
808
00:47:08,245 --> 00:47:09,746
More than okay. I...
809
00:47:11,331 --> 00:47:12,666
Will you marry me?
810
00:47:12,833 --> 00:47:14,459
What... did you say?
811
00:47:14,543 --> 00:47:15,627
Will you...
812
00:47:17,754 --> 00:47:19,006
Yes, I will!
813
00:47:20,841 --> 00:47:22,217
Oh, my God!
814
00:47:26,180 --> 00:47:27,639
When I get my green card,
815
00:47:28,015 --> 00:47:30,017
I'll replace it
with a real diamond.
816
00:47:30,517 --> 00:47:31,518
It is beautiful!
817
00:47:31,602 --> 00:47:32,644
Most people don't know
818
00:47:32,728 --> 00:47:33,729
the difference anyway, right?
819
00:47:34,313 --> 00:47:36,773
You have a three-carat ring.
820
00:47:43,405 --> 00:47:44,823
Frau Bauer.
821
00:47:45,532 --> 00:47:46,575
Frau Bauer.
822
00:47:57,628 --> 00:47:59,004
Yeah!
823
00:47:59,588 --> 00:48:03,842
Okay, and ready... go!
824
00:48:05,052 --> 00:48:06,553
Nice!
825
00:48:07,012 --> 00:48:08,931
Beautiful! Okay!
826
00:48:30,077 --> 00:48:32,871
Wow! In America money
lies on the street.
827
00:48:35,415 --> 00:48:36,542
This brings my penny count to...
828
00:48:36,625 --> 00:48:38,210
- you're funny!
- 22 cents!
829
00:48:40,128 --> 00:48:41,380
For the groceries.
830
00:48:41,964 --> 00:48:43,549
A penny saved...
831
00:48:43,674 --> 00:48:45,467
...makes us less enslaved!
832
00:48:48,637 --> 00:48:49,805
That stupid dog show
833
00:48:49,930 --> 00:48:51,932
did a number on my image.
834
00:48:53,684 --> 00:48:55,018
I can't believe it. Look.
835
00:48:57,646 --> 00:48:59,731
"The aging
star athlete, Max, the Mallard
836
00:48:59,815 --> 00:49:01,358
has been pathetically
chasing the limelight
837
00:49:01,441 --> 00:49:04,278
by fighting dogs for grubs..."
838
00:49:04,403 --> 00:49:05,863
That's not true. You're a vegan.
839
00:49:05,946 --> 00:49:07,281
Just wait until they hear
840
00:49:07,364 --> 00:49:08,866
about my success in New York.
841
00:49:09,575 --> 00:49:10,784
They'll kiss my ass.
842
00:49:10,868 --> 00:49:12,160
Our wedding will be a...
843
00:49:12,369 --> 00:49:13,871
positive status update.
844
00:49:14,162 --> 00:49:15,831
No, no, don't post anything yet.
845
00:49:16,373 --> 00:49:18,292
It needs to be
carefully orchestrated.
846
00:49:19,168 --> 00:49:20,210
We can have our wedding
847
00:49:20,335 --> 00:49:21,545
with tabloids
and whole shebang later,
848
00:49:21,628 --> 00:49:23,255
but first I wanna find a project
849
00:49:23,380 --> 00:49:24,840
that shows me on the upswing.
850
00:49:25,007 --> 00:49:29,011
Right? Like a...
like a reality show?
851
00:49:30,012 --> 00:49:32,222
Maybe you can sell
852
00:49:32,472 --> 00:49:33,849
Tupperware on the slopes
853
00:49:33,932 --> 00:49:35,100
and I can come flying...
854
00:49:35,184 --> 00:49:36,226
What about a modern version
855
00:49:36,310 --> 00:49:37,728
of "The Frog Prince"?
856
00:49:37,811 --> 00:49:40,063
- Frog prince"?
- The "Snail Princess".
857
00:49:40,314 --> 00:49:41,899
A lonely guy names Hans
858
00:49:42,065 --> 00:49:43,317
can't get a date.
859
00:49:43,442 --> 00:49:46,820
He has literally two left feet.
860
00:49:47,070 --> 00:49:48,405
The irony,
right, the world champion
861
00:49:48,488 --> 00:49:49,573
with two left feet?
862
00:49:49,948 --> 00:49:51,575
So, one day
a good fairy appears,
863
00:49:51,700 --> 00:49:55,913
and she tells him
if he kisses a snail
864
00:49:56,038 --> 00:49:57,748
despite his mollusk-phobia,
865
00:49:57,873 --> 00:49:58,916
it will turn it into a princess
866
00:49:58,999 --> 00:50:00,167
with two right feet.
867
00:50:00,918 --> 00:50:02,461
Because
you always have to be right.
868
00:50:04,087 --> 00:50:06,507
She's the right one.
It's a metaphor!
869
00:50:06,590 --> 00:50:07,591
Okay, go on.
870
00:50:07,758 --> 00:50:09,176
And then they go into the park,
871
00:50:09,259 --> 00:50:11,136
and then there's a tractor
872
00:50:11,261 --> 00:50:13,263
and it cuts off one foot each.
873
00:50:13,639 --> 00:50:15,933
I'm Hans,
and who is she, who is Vicky?
874
00:50:16,141 --> 00:50:17,601
It's great! Hans and Heidi...
875
00:50:17,684 --> 00:50:18,727
- Right!
- It's fantastic!
876
00:50:18,810 --> 00:50:19,895
The hospital switches
877
00:50:19,978 --> 00:50:21,104
their feet by mistake, see,
878
00:50:21,188 --> 00:50:22,189
and then they end up
879
00:50:22,272 --> 00:50:23,357
with each other's foot.
880
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:26,485
Who are you?
881
00:50:26,652 --> 00:50:27,653
I'm Heidi.
882
00:50:27,778 --> 00:50:28,779
I'm Hans.
883
00:50:30,781 --> 00:50:32,991
- Oh, my foot!
- And my foot!
884
00:50:35,536 --> 00:50:36,662
Where do you live?
885
00:50:39,081 --> 00:50:40,999
So, why the rude gesture?
886
00:50:41,083 --> 00:50:42,084
Why I am being crude, I mean
887
00:50:42,167 --> 00:50:43,710
the attachment of the new foot
888
00:50:43,961 --> 00:50:45,462
causes him to have side-effects.
889
00:50:45,587 --> 00:50:47,089
It makes him
want to constantly...
890
00:50:49,466 --> 00:50:50,551
flip the bird!
891
00:50:51,552 --> 00:50:52,553
I'm not sure
892
00:50:52,636 --> 00:50:54,054
if that's gonna go over well.
893
00:50:54,137 --> 00:50:55,347
We're disagreeing again.
894
00:50:55,514 --> 00:50:57,099
But darling,
don't we want the audience
895
00:50:57,182 --> 00:50:59,309
that disability
is not a handicap
896
00:50:59,393 --> 00:51:01,228
as long as they love each other.
897
00:51:01,311 --> 00:51:02,980
But flipping the bird
898
00:51:03,063 --> 00:51:04,731
has truly medicinal benefits.
899
00:51:04,815 --> 00:51:06,108
I mean, don't you get it?
900
00:51:06,567 --> 00:51:08,068
It helps them to work through
901
00:51:08,151 --> 00:51:09,653
their childhood trauma,
902
00:51:10,237 --> 00:51:11,405
and... and it clears
903
00:51:12,531 --> 00:51:14,157
your head of the cobwebs
904
00:51:14,241 --> 00:51:17,411
that the bosses,
politicians and pundits
905
00:51:17,703 --> 00:51:19,121
spin with their tired words
906
00:51:19,204 --> 00:51:21,999
and useless clichés,
blah, blah, blah.
907
00:51:22,207 --> 00:51:24,084
Yeah? So march...
908
00:51:24,585 --> 00:51:25,919
Yeah?
909
00:51:26,003 --> 00:51:27,754
...to the beat of your own drum.
910
00:51:28,463 --> 00:51:35,429
Katchoonk,
katchoonk, katchoonk, katchoonk.
911
00:51:36,346 --> 00:51:39,474
Leap before you look!
912
00:51:39,641 --> 00:51:43,645
Dance as if
everybody is watching!
913
00:51:48,150 --> 00:51:49,401
Fuck you!
914
00:51:50,944 --> 00:51:52,613
Fuck you!
915
00:52:12,090 --> 00:52:13,467
Fuck you!
916
00:52:36,448 --> 00:52:37,574
Their dance of love
917
00:52:37,658 --> 00:52:39,368
gets
a million hits on You Tube.
918
00:52:39,868 --> 00:52:42,204
A producer
offers him a reality show.
919
00:52:42,538 --> 00:52:44,164
It pays a cool million bucks.
920
00:52:44,373 --> 00:52:46,166
The format is humiliating.
921
00:52:46,625 --> 00:52:47,751
At first they want to take it,
922
00:52:47,876 --> 00:52:48,877
but then they decide
923
00:52:48,961 --> 00:52:51,213
not to sell their souls.
924
00:52:51,797 --> 00:52:53,090
And then
the producers can't believe
925
00:52:53,173 --> 00:52:54,383
that they
would turn down a million bucks,
926
00:52:54,466 --> 00:52:55,467
right?
927
00:52:55,926 --> 00:52:58,387
For the last time
they dance, they're now famous.
928
00:52:58,679 --> 00:53:01,348
"Fuck you, Mozart" -dance!
929
00:53:02,975 --> 00:53:06,603
And then we'll see them
930
00:53:06,979 --> 00:53:08,981
driving off in his Volkswagen.
931
00:53:09,481 --> 00:53:12,526
We only see Hans' middle finger
932
00:53:13,068 --> 00:53:14,653
out of the sunroof.
933
00:53:14,862 --> 00:53:16,738
And then...
934
00:53:17,447 --> 00:53:19,449
thy live happily forever after
935
00:53:20,033 --> 00:53:22,911
in her castle on the hill.
936
00:53:25,747 --> 00:53:26,999
And then...
937
00:53:27,708 --> 00:53:29,376
I can say "fuck you"
938
00:53:29,459 --> 00:53:30,878
to the "Gone to the Dogs"
producers,
939
00:53:31,086 --> 00:53:33,297
because,
guess who's top dog now?
940
00:53:33,547 --> 00:53:34,673
Yeah!
941
00:53:37,885 --> 00:53:40,053
I'm home!
942
00:53:41,388 --> 00:53:43,390
- Hi!
- Hi, neighbour. How's it going?
943
00:53:43,515 --> 00:53:46,435
You moved in with Rhoda?
944
00:53:47,269 --> 00:53:49,146
No!
She has a loft in Dumbo now.
945
00:53:49,396 --> 00:53:51,398
- Oh!
- Some jerk encouraged her
946
00:53:51,481 --> 00:53:52,900
to become a painter.
947
00:53:52,983 --> 00:53:55,736
Some "leap before you look"
kind of nonsense.
948
00:53:55,819 --> 00:53:57,112
I'm sorry.
949
00:53:57,696 --> 00:53:59,114
She should've stuck to singing.
950
00:53:59,489 --> 00:54:01,074
I could've gotten
her on The Voice.
951
00:54:02,034 --> 00:54:04,036
Well, I hope
you find someone more deserving.
952
00:54:04,369 --> 00:54:05,871
Cheers.
953
00:54:07,247 --> 00:54:10,000
It's me again.
954
00:54:35,692 --> 00:54:37,694
How long does it take you
to come upstairs?
955
00:54:37,861 --> 00:54:40,113
I ran into Lando,
our new neighbour.
956
00:54:40,572 --> 00:54:43,075
I heard. Another rat showed up.
957
00:54:43,450 --> 00:54:44,576
- Oh, no!
- Yeah.
958
00:54:44,660 --> 00:54:46,078
The exterminator was here
959
00:54:46,203 --> 00:54:48,205
and put down snap traps.
Here is the bill.
960
00:54:48,830 --> 00:54:50,582
I'll take care of it.
961
00:54:51,458 --> 00:54:52,876
Watch those traps.
962
00:54:53,210 --> 00:54:54,920
Knowing you,
you'll step right in.
963
00:54:55,796 --> 00:54:59,925
Oh, your mom's been
on Skype all day.
964
00:55:00,467 --> 00:55:02,052
You're telling me now?
965
00:55:09,101 --> 00:55:10,394
Hello, Mutti.
966
00:55:12,229 --> 00:55:13,230
I'm leaving.
967
00:55:13,313 --> 00:55:14,648
Where you going?
968
00:55:14,731 --> 00:55:16,191
Uh, friends from Europe,
969
00:55:16,316 --> 00:55:18,527
some art gallery thing.
970
00:55:18,610 --> 00:55:20,320
Wait, I have to take
a shower first.
971
00:55:20,404 --> 00:55:22,239
No, stay here,
it won't take long.
972
00:55:22,322 --> 00:55:23,323
Max...
973
00:55:23,407 --> 00:55:25,742
Please say hi to your
future mother-in-law?
974
00:55:25,826 --> 00:55:26,827
Say hi to what?
975
00:55:26,910 --> 00:55:28,453
Max proposed!
976
00:55:28,537 --> 00:55:30,497
Mutti,
Max Bauer, in the flesh!
977
00:55:32,082 --> 00:55:34,126
And Max... this is my mom!
978
00:55:36,044 --> 00:55:37,045
Hello Ms...
979
00:55:37,129 --> 00:55:38,130
Marta!
980
00:55:38,213 --> 00:55:39,214
Ms. Marta.
981
00:55:39,840 --> 00:55:41,466
Don't we make
a beautiful couple?
982
00:55:41,550 --> 00:55:45,679
I guess, I'll put a notice in
the Liechtensteiner Volksblatt!
983
00:55:45,762 --> 00:55:46,763
No don't!
984
00:55:47,681 --> 00:55:50,767
Max means he needs to
establish himself first.
985
00:55:50,851 --> 00:55:52,686
Isn't he established enough?
986
00:55:55,147 --> 00:55:56,273
Are we good?
987
00:56:03,155 --> 00:56:04,781
Indian cress.
988
00:56:08,827 --> 00:56:10,954
You planted it
in your little garden,
989
00:56:11,038 --> 00:56:12,414
By the swing.
990
00:56:12,497 --> 00:56:15,792
Do you remember what the
neighbors boys... did?
991
00:56:15,876 --> 00:56:17,377
They ripped them out!
992
00:56:17,461 --> 00:56:18,712
And what did you do?
993
00:56:18,795 --> 00:56:20,380
I grabbed a stick,
994
00:56:20,464 --> 00:56:22,841
and threatened to beat
the crap out of them!
995
00:56:22,925 --> 00:56:26,386
You were a
very gutsy little girl!
996
00:56:27,095 --> 00:56:28,096
And now...
997
00:56:28,180 --> 00:56:31,225
Look...!
what I snagged at Century 21!
998
00:56:31,391 --> 00:56:32,768
I just talked to...
999
00:56:32,851 --> 00:56:34,853
Frau Ohry, my neighbour...
1000
00:56:34,937 --> 00:56:38,315
I got it for $79,
but it used to be 800!
1001
00:56:38,982 --> 00:56:41,818
not only did her
son-in-law,
1002
00:56:41,902 --> 00:56:44,905
suffer a fatal
mountain climbing accident...
1003
00:56:44,988 --> 00:56:47,157
- You already told me that story.
- but...
1004
00:56:47,241 --> 00:56:48,742
her daughter...
1005
00:56:48,825 --> 00:56:52,788
jumped to her death from
the 5th floor with her baby.
1006
00:56:52,871 --> 00:56:54,790
How do you like the dress?
1007
00:56:54,873 --> 00:56:58,752
Frau Ohry's daughter
always acted on impulse.
1008
00:57:01,046 --> 00:57:03,966
For 20 years you pestered me
to get married!
1009
00:57:04,049 --> 00:57:08,554
And now you're marrying
some guy you don't even know!
1010
00:57:08,637 --> 00:57:11,473
He's not, "some guy",
he's Max Bauer!
1011
00:57:11,557 --> 00:57:13,141
Send me pictures of the wedding.
1012
00:57:13,225 --> 00:57:15,018
We'll come celebrate
in Liechtenstein,
1013
00:57:15,102 --> 00:57:16,395
once Max gets on his feet.
1014
00:57:16,478 --> 00:57:18,647
He doesn't have any money!
1015
00:57:18,730 --> 00:57:19,731
His ex took it.
1016
00:57:19,815 --> 00:57:21,483
Sounds fishy!
1017
00:57:21,692 --> 00:57:23,986
You just won't believe
that a huge sport's star,
1018
00:57:24,069 --> 00:57:26,488
would marry a nobody,
with a tiny rental apartment.
1019
00:57:26,572 --> 00:57:29,741
You mean,
an award-winning filmmaker,
1020
00:57:29,825 --> 00:57:32,786
who's taking care
of some guy who's broke?
1021
00:57:33,328 --> 00:57:34,746
He loves me!
1022
00:57:34,830 --> 00:57:36,999
You squeak when he's around!
1023
00:57:44,047 --> 00:57:46,258
You've been a bad, bad boy!
1024
00:57:47,551 --> 00:57:49,887
You've been a bad, bad boy.
1025
00:57:51,221 --> 00:57:53,515
You've been a bad, bad boy.
1026
00:57:55,517 --> 00:57:57,311
I should just punish you.
1027
00:58:12,618 --> 00:58:13,994
Hi honey.
1028
00:58:14,578 --> 00:58:17,164
- How was the gallery?
- Boring
1029
00:58:20,209 --> 00:58:22,002
Woof, woof!
1030
00:58:25,672 --> 00:58:26,882
Doggie!
1031
00:58:29,968 --> 00:58:31,136
You smell different!
1032
00:58:31,220 --> 00:58:32,221
I love you!
1033
00:58:32,304 --> 00:58:33,555
I love you too!
1034
00:58:33,639 --> 00:58:34,640
Ich liebe dich.
1035
00:58:35,224 --> 00:58:36,683
Ich liebe dich auch.
1036
00:58:45,150 --> 00:58:46,151
I have a...
1037
00:58:47,152 --> 00:58:48,153
present for you.
1038
00:58:48,237 --> 00:58:49,363
Ooh!
1039
00:58:49,446 --> 00:58:50,489
Surprise.
1040
00:58:50,572 --> 00:58:51,573
Yeah!
1041
00:58:55,786 --> 00:58:56,787
Oh!
1042
00:59:07,506 --> 00:59:08,632
That's yours!
1043
00:59:10,300 --> 00:59:11,385
Yeah!
1044
00:59:19,309 --> 00:59:20,561
You're crazy!
1045
00:59:20,644 --> 00:59:22,813
It's ass art!
1046
00:59:33,574 --> 00:59:36,285
Now it's your turn!
1047
00:59:37,536 --> 00:59:38,579
You're part of my...
1048
00:59:38,662 --> 00:59:43,417
great... new... art...
1049
00:59:43,876 --> 00:59:45,127
installation!
1050
00:59:55,762 --> 00:59:56,805
And now...
1051
00:59:56,889 --> 00:59:58,015
I want you to get naked.
1052
00:59:58,098 --> 00:59:59,099
Hm?
1053
00:59:59,183 --> 01:00:00,309
And get in there.
1054
01:00:00,392 --> 01:00:01,393
In there?
1055
01:00:01,518 --> 01:00:02,519
Oh yeah!
1056
01:00:02,603 --> 01:00:04,771
Shouldn't you be capturing
our movie footage?
1057
01:00:04,855 --> 01:00:07,900
First I have to nourish my soul,
1058
01:00:07,983 --> 01:00:09,109
like Dukchat.
1059
01:00:09,193 --> 01:00:10,194
Who?
1060
01:00:10,277 --> 01:00:12,946
The famous artist Dukchat.
1061
01:00:13,030 --> 01:00:14,948
You know Dukchat.
1062
01:00:15,699 --> 01:00:18,493
He... photographs...
1063
01:00:18,577 --> 01:00:21,955
15 year old girls...
1064
01:00:22,998 --> 01:00:24,333
in the nude.
1065
01:00:24,416 --> 01:00:26,668
And to make them
feel more comfortable...
1066
01:00:26,752 --> 01:00:29,129
he also takes his pants off.
1067
01:00:30,005 --> 01:00:32,341
His dick hanging out
makes them more comfortable?
1068
01:00:33,133 --> 01:00:35,886
He sends a message
of being unconventional.
1069
01:00:36,512 --> 01:00:39,056
What message gets sent
by trapping me in there?
1070
01:00:39,139 --> 01:00:40,641
It doesn't matter,
1071
01:00:40,724 --> 01:00:42,935
as long as it evokes
a feeling from the viewer!
1072
01:00:43,227 --> 01:00:44,811
It's awfully tight!
1073
01:00:45,562 --> 01:00:47,022
An artist has got to be risqué.
1074
01:00:48,106 --> 01:00:49,816
Otherwise,
he's just boring vanilla.
1075
01:00:50,692 --> 01:00:53,153
But the... deadline for Tribeca
is coming up.
1076
01:00:54,696 --> 01:00:56,365
You and I rise above...
1077
01:00:56,448 --> 01:00:57,908
bourgeois convention.
1078
01:00:58,867 --> 01:01:01,870
Like we did it with our...
switched-legs movie
1079
01:01:02,079 --> 01:01:03,622
What if I get stuck?
1080
01:01:03,705 --> 01:01:07,793
What does great art
come out of, huh? Trauma?
1081
01:01:07,876 --> 01:01:10,546
But Mozart was inspired by
birds singing.
1082
01:01:11,463 --> 01:01:13,841
Wagner was an egotistic maniac!
1083
01:01:15,050 --> 01:01:16,802
And Van Gogh
had his ear cut off!
1084
01:01:17,344 --> 01:01:19,263
And Frida Kahlo,
1085
01:01:19,471 --> 01:01:22,057
she got pierced with a 10 foot
pole through her vagina.
1086
01:01:22,975 --> 01:01:23,976
Trauma!
1087
01:01:24,059 --> 01:01:25,060
But...
1088
01:01:25,143 --> 01:01:27,396
if it falls
I could break my bones!
1089
01:01:28,856 --> 01:01:31,733
Human existence is pain.
1090
01:01:32,943 --> 01:01:34,194
People relate to that.
1091
01:01:34,778 --> 01:01:36,947
What if my dance students see
me like that...
1092
01:01:40,158 --> 01:01:41,243
Stop the petty shit,
1093
01:01:41,326 --> 01:01:42,744
and get in the box!
1094
01:01:46,748 --> 01:01:48,917
Here we go, okay.
1095
01:01:49,418 --> 01:01:51,086
Great shot.
Yeah!
1096
01:01:52,379 --> 01:01:54,506
Now imagine
you're locked up like you are
1097
01:01:54,590 --> 01:01:56,341
and bang against the window.
1098
01:01:56,425 --> 01:01:57,593
As hard as you can!
1099
01:01:59,887 --> 01:02:02,681
Right, right.
Like Jack Nicholson in "Shining"
1100
01:02:04,349 --> 01:02:06,185
Beautiful! It's awesome!
1101
01:02:06,268 --> 01:02:07,728
Okay, okay.
I'm done
1102
01:02:07,811 --> 01:02:09,229
Okay, just a few more.
1103
01:02:10,355 --> 01:02:11,565
So good.
1104
01:02:13,192 --> 01:02:14,193
I mean it!
1105
01:02:26,830 --> 01:02:27,831
Hello.
1106
01:02:27,915 --> 01:02:29,374
Get me out of this!
1107
01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:31,585
- I'm done!
- It's Max Bauer...
1108
01:02:32,503 --> 01:02:34,213
Yes, "the" Max Bauer.
1109
01:02:34,338 --> 01:02:36,965
Okay, I'm working
on an art project in New York.
1110
01:02:37,049 --> 01:02:38,050
Yes.
1111
01:02:38,133 --> 01:02:40,552
- I want to get out!
- One moment please.
1112
01:02:40,636 --> 01:02:42,930
- It's Liechtenstein!
- I don't give a shit!
1113
01:02:43,013 --> 01:02:45,557
Well then you don't want
to talk to Vaduz Films.
1114
01:02:46,141 --> 01:02:47,142
Uh!
1115
01:02:47,309 --> 01:02:49,019
Just give me
the fucking phone then!
1116
01:02:52,731 --> 01:02:53,732
Hello?...
1117
01:02:54,358 --> 01:02:55,359
Yeah...
1118
01:02:56,485 --> 01:02:57,611
The mayor?
1119
01:02:59,738 --> 01:03:04,743
Oh... Okay... that sounds great.
Okay... thank you.
1120
01:03:05,077 --> 01:03:06,370
Okay,
I'll talk to you then.
1121
01:03:08,539 --> 01:03:09,665
You see!
1122
01:03:11,333 --> 01:03:14,628
You open up possibilities,
and the universe opens to you!
1123
01:03:18,966 --> 01:03:19,967
Hello.
1124
01:03:20,050 --> 01:03:21,051
Hello
1125
01:03:21,426 --> 01:03:22,427
Wow!
1126
01:03:23,595 --> 01:03:24,888
Look at you!
1127
01:03:25,597 --> 01:03:26,682
So Victoria...
1128
01:03:26,765 --> 01:03:27,766
Yeah...
1129
01:03:28,559 --> 01:03:31,103
Today,
is your actual wedding day?
1130
01:03:31,270 --> 01:03:32,271
Yeah!
1131
01:03:32,354 --> 01:03:34,189
He's in
the limo downstairs.
1132
01:03:34,273 --> 01:03:37,401
- He's a famous ski-jumper!
- Okay...
1133
01:03:37,484 --> 01:03:39,111
We'll do this quickly then.
1134
01:03:39,528 --> 01:03:42,698
Great! I'm teaching
Zumba at 5:30 and Salsa at 7:00!
1135
01:03:43,407 --> 01:03:45,742
That is one lucky groom!
1136
01:03:46,702 --> 01:03:47,703
Okay...
1137
01:03:48,620 --> 01:03:49,621
Ready?
1138
01:03:50,205 --> 01:03:52,291
Slate please.
1139
01:03:52,374 --> 01:03:56,712
Hi, I'm Victoria Ti...
Victoria Bauer.
1140
01:03:57,462 --> 01:03:58,463
One sec...
1141
01:03:59,298 --> 01:04:01,592
For a dazzling white smile
that lasts.
1142
01:04:01,675 --> 01:04:03,594
Bright White toothpaste.
1143
01:04:06,597 --> 01:04:09,057
I didn't realize
you had an accent...
1144
01:04:09,141 --> 01:04:11,435
Vot do you mean
I have an akzent?
1145
01:04:13,645 --> 01:04:14,646
Thank you.
1146
01:04:14,730 --> 01:04:16,481
Thank you.
1147
01:05:12,704 --> 01:05:14,039
Don't we look so great!
1148
01:05:15,374 --> 01:05:17,835
Why marry, when jumping
in front of a train,
1149
01:05:17,918 --> 01:05:18,919
is faster and easier?
1150
01:05:19,002 --> 01:05:20,629
- Victoria and Max...
- just kidding!
1151
01:05:20,712 --> 01:05:23,173
May your love grow stronger
each day going forward...
1152
01:05:23,257 --> 01:05:25,008
not like the clown
I'm stuck with...
1153
01:05:25,092 --> 01:05:26,885
I'm not a clown!
1154
01:05:26,969 --> 01:05:28,345
Come on, give me this!
1155
01:05:28,887 --> 01:05:30,556
We look the way
I always dreamed.
1156
01:05:37,229 --> 01:05:39,523
Enzo doesn't know what
the hell he's doing!
1157
01:05:43,902 --> 01:05:44,987
I got something!
1158
01:05:55,038 --> 01:05:57,916
You're finally making
those clothes pin cookies?
1159
01:06:05,382 --> 01:06:06,842
I feel bad for Blanche though.
1160
01:06:06,925 --> 01:06:08,135
Turn that shit off.
1161
01:06:09,178 --> 01:06:11,054
Is this
the part where you...
1162
01:06:11,138 --> 01:06:12,389
Blanche ran into me!
1163
01:06:15,350 --> 01:06:17,728
It almost looks like you
flipped her on purpose...
1164
01:06:18,187 --> 01:06:20,814
It's instinct! Olympians
are trained to follow through
1165
01:06:22,191 --> 01:06:24,610
What do you have...
combat instincts at a wedding?
1166
01:06:24,902 --> 01:06:27,029
Did "you" act like
this is a wedding huh?
1167
01:06:27,571 --> 01:06:29,907
I waited all day
in a frickin rental car,
1168
01:06:29,990 --> 01:06:31,867
while you do your
obsessions!
1169
01:06:32,618 --> 01:06:35,412
Max, can we please enjoy
the biggest day of my life?
1170
01:06:35,495 --> 01:06:38,123
Of "your" life!
What about my life?
1171
01:06:38,207 --> 01:06:40,709
Everything is about you and
what Vicky needs!
1172
01:06:41,251 --> 01:06:43,212
I mean who schedules
auditions and Zumba
1173
01:06:43,295 --> 01:06:44,630
around their wedding huh?
1174
01:06:46,423 --> 01:06:47,591
We need the money!
1175
01:06:59,728 --> 01:07:01,563
I'll make it up to you.
1176
01:07:27,047 --> 01:07:30,175
You've been a
bad, bad boy!
1177
01:07:30,884 --> 01:07:32,469
Aren't you going
to punish me?
1178
01:07:32,553 --> 01:07:34,805
I should just
hand cuff you to the bed,
1179
01:07:34,888 --> 01:07:36,598
and ride your face!
1180
01:07:38,308 --> 01:07:39,810
Mercy on...
1181
01:07:39,893 --> 01:07:40,936
Mercy on me!
1182
01:07:42,104 --> 01:07:43,480
I can't do this!
1183
01:07:43,564 --> 01:07:45,941
No, no it was fantastic!
Just keep going!
1184
01:07:46,024 --> 01:07:48,193
I was a bad boy!
1185
01:07:48,277 --> 01:07:49,278
Here!
1186
01:08:20,225 --> 01:08:24,021
Boeser...
boeser... Junge!
1187
01:08:24,104 --> 01:08:26,773
Oh yes!
1188
01:08:33,238 --> 01:08:34,239
You okay?
1189
01:08:34,323 --> 01:08:35,908
Ja! Just do it!
Just do it!
1190
01:08:37,868 --> 01:08:38,869
You okay?
1191
01:08:38,952 --> 01:08:39,953
Yes!
1192
01:08:45,417 --> 01:08:47,503
Go ride me!
Come on!
1193
01:08:52,090 --> 01:08:54,092
Ugh!
Come on harder, hit me!
1194
01:08:54,176 --> 01:08:58,055
- I'm a bad boy!
- Bad, bad boy!
1195
01:08:58,138 --> 01:09:00,098
I'm a bad boy! Harder!
1196
01:09:00,182 --> 01:09:01,350
Come on go harder!
1197
01:09:01,433 --> 01:09:02,976
No! You really got to hit me!
1198
01:09:04,269 --> 01:09:05,312
I did!
1199
01:09:05,395 --> 01:09:06,396
No you didn't!
1200
01:09:07,231 --> 01:09:08,357
Okay, now it's my turn.
1201
01:09:10,192 --> 01:09:11,193
Sit!
1202
01:09:12,319 --> 01:09:13,320
Platz.
1203
01:09:14,655 --> 01:09:15,656
Bad girl.
1204
01:09:28,710 --> 01:09:29,711
You're kidding!
1205
01:09:32,005 --> 01:09:33,173
Can we kiss for a moment?
1206
01:09:35,801 --> 01:09:36,844
Hmm.
1207
01:09:38,095 --> 01:09:39,096
I guess not!
1208
01:09:40,138 --> 01:09:41,682
- Ouch!
- You and your vanilla sex!
1209
01:09:42,558 --> 01:09:43,559
Ow!
1210
01:09:51,191 --> 01:09:52,192
Ouch!
1211
01:09:53,694 --> 01:09:55,362
Ouch, ouch,
ouch, ouch!
1212
01:09:57,948 --> 01:10:00,284
Ouch!
1213
01:10:00,367 --> 01:10:01,535
Yeah!
1214
01:10:01,910 --> 01:10:03,245
Okay, that is enough, right?
1215
01:10:03,328 --> 01:10:04,454
Two, two more!
Two more!
1216
01:10:07,958 --> 01:10:08,959
Ouch.
1217
01:10:11,795 --> 01:10:12,796
Ready?
1218
01:10:13,672 --> 01:10:14,756
Ah!
1219
01:10:15,674 --> 01:10:17,050
Last one!
1220
01:10:22,973 --> 01:10:23,974
Ow!
1221
01:10:24,141 --> 01:10:25,350
Ow!
Look this is hurting!
1222
01:10:25,434 --> 01:10:26,435
Then use a safe word!
1223
01:10:26,643 --> 01:10:27,644
What's a safe word?
1224
01:10:27,728 --> 01:10:28,937
Phew!
Are you twelve?
1225
01:10:30,522 --> 01:10:31,523
Gosh!
1226
01:10:45,746 --> 01:10:46,747
That...
1227
01:10:46,830 --> 01:10:47,831
should make it...
1228
01:10:48,999 --> 01:10:50,000
easier.
1229
01:10:51,793 --> 01:10:55,881
Yeah, broccoli
always helps the situation.
1230
01:10:58,926 --> 01:10:59,927
Ow!
1231
01:11:25,953 --> 01:11:27,955
Um, ow!
This can't be safe!
1232
01:11:30,749 --> 01:11:32,334
This can't
be healthy.
1233
01:11:32,417 --> 01:11:33,752
Well, it could be worse.
1234
01:11:33,836 --> 01:11:37,089
It could...
match the color of your eyes!
1235
01:11:37,506 --> 01:11:39,132
My eyes are blue!
1236
01:11:40,551 --> 01:11:42,135
Ow! Safe word.
1237
01:11:43,762 --> 01:11:45,305
Get it off!
1238
01:11:45,472 --> 01:11:46,515
Ow!
1239
01:11:46,974 --> 01:11:48,225
Ow-oo!
1240
01:11:48,809 --> 01:11:49,810
Take it off!
1241
01:11:52,354 --> 01:11:53,730
Take this stuff off.
1242
01:11:58,569 --> 01:12:00,571
I'm taking it off!
Just relax! Come on.
1243
01:12:01,280 --> 01:12:02,489
Down there too!
1244
01:12:04,491 --> 01:12:05,534
Vanilla sex!
1245
01:12:09,621 --> 01:12:10,622
Ow!
1246
01:12:15,210 --> 01:12:16,670
This... this was interesting.
1247
01:12:16,753 --> 01:12:19,214
But I'm more partial
to vanilla sex...
1248
01:12:19,298 --> 01:12:21,717
Don't ever stop
in the middle okay!
1249
01:12:21,800 --> 01:12:23,552
No-one says "No"
to Max Bauer!
1250
01:12:24,511 --> 01:12:27,139
You prude! I can have
any woman I want!
1251
01:12:28,765 --> 01:12:29,766
Goodnight!
1252
01:13:26,073 --> 01:13:28,659
So, congratulations again,
on the production contract!
1253
01:13:28,742 --> 01:13:31,036
Oh yeah, all our
hard work paid off.
1254
01:13:31,745 --> 01:13:33,705
You must be
so proud of Victoria!
1255
01:13:33,789 --> 01:13:36,500
I always tell Vicky
not to talk about unlaid eggs.
1256
01:13:36,917 --> 01:13:37,918
He means...
1257
01:13:38,001 --> 01:13:40,045
don't count your chickens
before they hatch.
1258
01:13:40,295 --> 01:13:42,714
I... we haven't signed
the contract yet.
1259
01:13:42,798 --> 01:13:43,924
But they offered, right?
1260
01:13:44,007 --> 01:13:45,759
Right! That's why
we're celebrating!
1261
01:13:45,843 --> 01:13:46,844
Yaa!
1262
01:13:48,011 --> 01:13:49,054
Ah so...
1263
01:13:49,137 --> 01:13:50,347
everybody...
1264
01:13:51,849 --> 01:13:52,850
Thank you.
1265
01:13:52,933 --> 01:13:54,101
Very welcome.
1266
01:13:54,726 --> 01:13:55,727
Now...
1267
01:13:56,478 --> 01:13:58,063
comes the big surprise.
1268
01:13:59,356 --> 01:14:01,316
Surprise, surprise, okay.
1269
01:14:02,276 --> 01:14:03,277
Ready?
1270
01:14:04,236 --> 01:14:05,237
Set...
1271
01:14:06,029 --> 01:14:07,030
whew!
1272
01:14:09,825 --> 01:14:10,826
- What's...?
1273
01:14:10,909 --> 01:14:13,453
This is, Max's
great new art installation!
1274
01:14:14,162 --> 01:14:16,540
You should check out
the one on the wall... here.
1275
01:14:16,707 --> 01:14:19,710
Max has re-invented himself
as a serious artist.
1276
01:14:21,420 --> 01:14:23,213
Ah... ah...
1277
01:14:23,839 --> 01:14:25,090
Ah... Is that you?
1278
01:14:26,258 --> 01:14:27,634
Yeah.
1279
01:14:27,718 --> 01:14:29,219
Is he peeing?
1280
01:14:29,303 --> 01:14:35,184
I'm thinking of exhibiting in an
art gallery, maybe a museum.
1281
01:14:35,267 --> 01:14:36,643
All you need is connections.
1282
01:14:37,477 --> 01:14:39,479
Yeah, Max has always
been very daring.
1283
01:14:39,563 --> 01:14:41,732
That's what he was
famous for at the long hill.
1284
01:14:41,815 --> 01:14:43,192
Daring?
1285
01:14:43,275 --> 01:14:44,443
That's rather deprav...
1286
01:14:44,526 --> 01:14:47,154
Enzo, whatever happened
to your penny stocks?
1287
01:14:47,863 --> 01:14:50,866
Well uh... I invested
in some more...
1288
01:14:50,949 --> 01:14:52,451
Yeah! I got a stock tip for you.
1289
01:14:52,868 --> 01:14:54,494
Picking up pennies
off the street.
1290
01:14:54,578 --> 01:14:55,954
I mean, it's more
lucrative.
1291
01:14:56,121 --> 01:14:59,458
My penny stock's
already up by $3.68!
1292
01:14:59,541 --> 01:15:01,126
That's really up!
1293
01:15:01,210 --> 01:15:03,795
Check out Max's
"Legumes a la Bauer"!
1294
01:15:04,338 --> 01:15:05,339
It's all raw!
1295
01:15:05,422 --> 01:15:07,132
Oh it's raw?
1296
01:15:10,427 --> 01:15:12,596
I mean,
cooking makes food toxic, right?
1297
01:15:13,180 --> 01:15:15,432
Besides that I like to
maintain high vibrations
1298
01:15:17,601 --> 01:15:18,685
Let's go for it.
1299
01:15:18,769 --> 01:15:20,020
Thanks for having us over.
1300
01:15:20,103 --> 01:15:21,855
Yeah.
I'll go to the hands.
1301
01:15:21,939 --> 01:15:23,482
Mmm...
1302
01:15:23,565 --> 01:15:25,025
It's real good!
1303
01:15:25,734 --> 01:15:26,777
And...
1304
01:15:26,860 --> 01:15:28,695
the sprinkles of...
1305
01:15:28,779 --> 01:15:29,947
what are those?
1306
01:15:30,030 --> 01:15:32,950
That's almonds and Brazil nuts.
1307
01:15:33,200 --> 01:15:34,451
Thank god!
1308
01:15:35,702 --> 01:15:36,954
Wundernuts!
1309
01:15:37,037 --> 01:15:39,039
Max chopped them by hand!
1310
01:15:39,122 --> 01:15:40,499
With my special knife!
1311
01:15:40,624 --> 01:15:41,834
Wow! Thank you!
1312
01:15:43,126 --> 01:15:44,294
Hmm! It's really very...
1313
01:15:45,128 --> 01:15:46,296
creative.
1314
01:15:46,922 --> 01:15:49,508
Creativity is
the ski-jumping hill of my soul.
1315
01:15:50,300 --> 01:15:52,678
As an artist, I like to break
stifling rules and...
1316
01:15:52,761 --> 01:15:56,473
to achieve gobsmacking jumps!
1317
01:15:57,933 --> 01:16:00,644
What do you want to do here,
in terms of work?
1318
01:16:00,727 --> 01:16:03,063
Um...
I'm thinking of...
1319
01:16:03,146 --> 01:16:05,566
You could make a ton
as a ski instructor.
1320
01:16:07,317 --> 01:16:09,152
I'm not going to teach
the snowplough,
1321
01:16:09,236 --> 01:16:10,612
to snot-nosed brats right!
1322
01:16:10,696 --> 01:16:12,489
You remember "Eddie the Eagle"?
1323
01:16:12,573 --> 01:16:13,574
Uh huh.
1324
01:16:13,657 --> 01:16:15,993
He still earns a living
with live appearances.
1325
01:16:16,076 --> 01:16:17,870
I don't want anybody
to know who I am.
1326
01:16:17,953 --> 01:16:18,954
Okay. Well...
1327
01:16:19,663 --> 01:16:22,249
I don't think you have
a problem with that in New York
1328
01:16:22,374 --> 01:16:23,792
And besides,
you know I mean...
1329
01:16:25,169 --> 01:16:26,336
I have
nothing in common,
1330
01:16:26,420 --> 01:16:28,213
with the worst
ski-jumper in history.
1331
01:16:28,297 --> 01:16:31,133
I mean, who still runs around
supermarkets in a chicken suit!
1332
01:16:31,216 --> 01:16:32,342
He's the world champion.
1333
01:16:32,426 --> 01:16:33,427
Yeah, that's right!
1334
01:16:34,428 --> 01:16:35,429
Well uh...
1335
01:16:36,096 --> 01:16:37,806
What are you
thinking of doing then?
1336
01:16:38,473 --> 01:16:39,808
Well, I see myself,
1337
01:16:39,892 --> 01:16:44,479
like selling my work, to
art collectors... or museums.
1338
01:16:44,563 --> 01:16:45,898
Moma wouldn't be bad right?
1339
01:16:47,149 --> 01:16:48,775
Don't you have
connections there?
1340
01:16:49,151 --> 01:16:50,277
I think he means Moba?
1341
01:16:51,153 --> 01:16:52,154
So what's Moba?
1342
01:16:52,905 --> 01:16:54,615
Uh...
It's a museum of...
1343
01:16:54,698 --> 01:16:57,576
it's a gallery...
of unusual art.
1344
01:16:58,285 --> 01:16:59,286
Like what?
1345
01:17:00,662 --> 01:17:01,663
Like there's a...
1346
01:17:01,747 --> 01:17:04,166
a painting that mocks
the George Seurat painting,
1347
01:17:04,249 --> 01:17:06,627
that the musical
"Sunday in the Park with George"
1348
01:17:06,710 --> 01:17:07,711
is based on.
1349
01:17:07,794 --> 01:17:09,296
- Oh!
- Yeah, its, um...
1350
01:17:09,379 --> 01:17:12,299
this fat guy sitting
on the toilet...
1351
01:17:12,382 --> 01:17:14,676
and it's called
"Sunday on the pot with George".
1352
01:17:14,760 --> 01:17:17,262
Moba...
"Museum of bad art"
1353
01:17:19,181 --> 01:17:21,517
I mean, there's no need,
to beat around the bush,
1354
01:17:21,600 --> 01:17:22,601
I can take it.
1355
01:17:22,684 --> 01:17:23,685
Blanche...
1356
01:17:23,769 --> 01:17:26,313
you just can't
appreciate the unconventional.
1357
01:17:26,396 --> 01:17:27,397
Vicky...
1358
01:17:27,481 --> 01:17:29,900
you know. It's okay.
1359
01:17:29,983 --> 01:17:33,237
Because today's bad art
is tomorrow's good art!
1360
01:17:33,320 --> 01:17:34,530
Can't wait for tomorrow!
1361
01:17:37,115 --> 01:17:39,034
You know, my art
is avant-garde...
1362
01:17:39,117 --> 01:17:40,536
that's something small-minded,
1363
01:17:40,619 --> 01:17:42,621
bourgeois people wouldn't
understand.
1364
01:17:55,884 --> 01:17:59,721
So, Max and I
are shooting a film.
1365
01:17:59,805 --> 01:18:01,390
Unlaid eggs!
1366
01:18:05,519 --> 01:18:07,855
Boy, it's like you guys
were made for each other!
1367
01:18:08,939 --> 01:18:10,566
When did you know that uh...
1368
01:18:11,066 --> 01:18:13,819
Oh actually it's a weird story
how we ended up...
1369
01:18:13,902 --> 01:18:15,320
I have a weird story for you.
1370
01:18:17,281 --> 01:18:19,199
I was in Mexico,
in an area called,
1371
01:18:19,283 --> 01:18:20,617
Cuetlaxcoapan,
1372
01:18:23,328 --> 01:18:25,539
which means "where serpents
change their skin."
1373
01:18:30,502 --> 01:18:31,503
And um...
1374
01:18:32,087 --> 01:18:34,006
my wife the bitch,
without any warning,
1375
01:18:34,089 --> 01:18:35,090
just kicks me out.
1376
01:18:36,717 --> 01:18:37,718
And um...
1377
01:18:40,012 --> 01:18:41,430
I start walking on the street,
1378
01:18:41,513 --> 01:18:44,183
and I come to this tiny
mountain village.
1379
01:18:44,266 --> 01:18:46,935
It's high noon, there's
not a soul abroad...
1380
01:18:47,019 --> 01:18:49,688
and then I hear this pained
"mooooo"...
1381
01:18:49,771 --> 01:18:51,607
Max, Max, please don't
1382
01:18:51,690 --> 01:18:52,900
Max, please don't!
1383
01:18:52,983 --> 01:18:53,984
It's so sad.
1384
01:18:54,067 --> 01:18:57,404
Oh it's so sad! Why don't you
focus on my ass instead!
1385
01:18:58,530 --> 01:19:01,033
Max, I think you've
had enough to drink...
1386
01:19:01,658 --> 01:19:04,411
I've got a riddle
for you smart people.
1387
01:19:05,287 --> 01:19:06,455
A lion chases you,
1388
01:19:07,706 --> 01:19:11,418
how fast do you have
to run to not get eaten?
1389
01:19:15,964 --> 01:19:17,299
I thought you are so smart.
1390
01:19:20,135 --> 01:19:21,553
You have to be second slowest.
1391
01:19:32,147 --> 01:19:33,899
Fuck that shit man!
1392
01:19:43,534 --> 01:19:44,535
Are you okay?
1393
01:19:44,618 --> 01:19:45,619
- Yeah.
- Are you sure?
1394
01:19:45,702 --> 01:19:46,703
Are you okay?
1395
01:19:47,037 --> 01:19:48,038
Yeah, yeah, um...
1396
01:19:48,330 --> 01:19:49,456
he's just drunk.
1397
01:19:49,540 --> 01:19:50,999
Okay, okay.
1398
01:19:51,583 --> 01:19:53,669
Enzo showed me "Tango Shmango",
I loved it!
1399
01:19:53,752 --> 01:19:55,420
- You did?
- Yeah!
1400
01:19:55,504 --> 01:19:56,505
It's amazing.
1401
01:19:57,965 --> 01:19:59,258
Leave it, leave it!
1402
01:20:01,426 --> 01:20:03,554
If it wasn't for
his great camera work,
1403
01:20:03,637 --> 01:20:06,139
we would not have gotten
distribution.
1404
01:20:07,891 --> 01:20:08,892
Oh by the way,
1405
01:20:08,976 --> 01:20:11,687
Blanche turned out to be a
great camera operator herself.
1406
01:20:11,854 --> 01:20:12,855
Oh yeah?
1407
01:20:13,438 --> 01:20:15,065
Enzo's been teaching me.
1408
01:20:15,148 --> 01:20:16,149
That's fantastic!
1409
01:20:18,110 --> 01:20:20,571
Do you need any help with the
Vaduz Film contract?
1410
01:20:20,654 --> 01:20:21,655
Oh, I'm fine.
1411
01:20:21,738 --> 01:20:22,906
Max was going to help me.
1412
01:20:22,990 --> 01:20:23,991
May I present...
1413
01:20:24,074 --> 01:20:25,951
my ass, live!
1414
01:20:26,493 --> 01:20:28,579
- Yoohoo!
- Why don't you put pants on!
1415
01:20:29,913 --> 01:20:32,249
Somebody didn't do the laundry.
1416
01:20:33,917 --> 01:20:37,629
So ah, how'd you manage
to wangle the distribution deal?
1417
01:20:37,963 --> 01:20:39,131
I want to show you this.
1418
01:20:39,214 --> 01:20:41,175
Last time I was in
Liechtenstein,
1419
01:20:41,717 --> 01:20:42,718
I... uh...
1420
01:20:43,510 --> 01:20:46,221
was honored...
as a filmmaker by the mayor.
1421
01:20:46,388 --> 01:20:48,140
He's a very Catholic mayor!
1422
01:20:48,223 --> 01:20:49,224
Look!
1423
01:20:49,308 --> 01:20:50,309
Aw!
1424
01:20:50,726 --> 01:20:52,769
He gave me the key
to the city of Vaduz.
1425
01:20:52,853 --> 01:20:55,439
My mom in the front row
with tears in her eyes.
1426
01:20:55,522 --> 01:20:56,523
Great!
1427
01:20:56,607 --> 01:20:58,400
Without even
having watched the film,
1428
01:20:58,483 --> 01:21:01,111
he put in a good word for
"Tango Shmango" at Vaduz Film.
1429
01:21:01,195 --> 01:21:02,529
And then he did watch it...
1430
01:21:03,113 --> 01:21:04,114
He did?
1431
01:21:04,531 --> 01:21:06,241
That's so great.
1432
01:21:06,450 --> 01:21:07,534
The irony. You had to,
1433
01:21:07,618 --> 01:21:09,828
go to America
to get recognition in Europe!
1434
01:21:12,873 --> 01:21:13,874
Amazing.
1435
01:21:13,957 --> 01:21:16,168
The EMT's had to revive the
Catholic mayor,
1436
01:21:16,251 --> 01:21:18,295
after he watched
the infamous sex scene!
1437
01:21:18,962 --> 01:21:19,963
Huh?
1438
01:21:20,047 --> 01:21:21,965
Which in my opinion,
was just pure porn.
1439
01:21:22,716 --> 01:21:24,051
What are you talking about?
1440
01:21:24,593 --> 01:21:29,389
Well, after Vaduz Film got word
of the mayor's heart attack,
1441
01:21:30,849 --> 01:21:32,142
they canceled the deal.
1442
01:21:38,982 --> 01:21:40,609
I had a nice chat
with them though,
1443
01:21:42,152 --> 01:21:43,153
they...
1444
01:21:43,237 --> 01:21:44,238
cast me in...
1445
01:21:45,531 --> 01:21:47,574
"Dancing time in Liechtenstein"
1446
01:21:49,952 --> 01:21:52,746
It's the Liechtenstein version
of " Dancing with the Stars"
1447
01:21:54,873 --> 01:21:57,459
So now my ass on the door
doesn't look so bad huh?
1448
01:22:11,431 --> 01:22:13,433
You think you'll find
another distributor?
1449
01:22:13,517 --> 01:22:14,601
Forget about the film,
1450
01:22:14,685 --> 01:22:16,395
the man insults her
left and right.
1451
01:22:16,478 --> 01:22:17,604
He's drunk.
1452
01:22:17,688 --> 01:22:19,690
When he's sober
he's any different.
1453
01:22:19,773 --> 01:22:21,483
It's, it's very hard
for a big star,
1454
01:22:21,567 --> 01:22:22,943
to live in such a tiny space.
1455
01:22:25,362 --> 01:22:27,614
Your image on that dresser
is just...
1456
01:22:27,698 --> 01:22:28,740
sick!
1457
01:22:28,824 --> 01:22:30,868
Yeah, it kind of
creeps me out too.
1458
01:22:31,326 --> 01:22:33,954
He's got her doing this
crap instead of our show!
1459
01:22:34,705 --> 01:22:39,293
I'm forty five years old. When
am I going to have a family?
1460
01:22:40,919 --> 01:22:42,546
You could still have a family.
1461
01:22:47,301 --> 01:22:49,803
Sorry about this...
stupid!
1462
01:22:57,227 --> 01:22:59,938
She's always has to prove,
she can make everything work.?
1463
01:23:00,022 --> 01:23:02,065
Yeah, I used to call her the
"und" girl.
1464
01:23:02,733 --> 01:23:04,026
What's that mean?
1465
01:23:04,109 --> 01:23:06,445
I can do this,
und I can do that und I can...
1466
01:23:06,528 --> 01:23:08,113
That's not really
funny.
1467
01:23:08,197 --> 01:23:09,198
No, it's not.
1468
01:23:09,698 --> 01:23:10,908
Anyway, let's just go.
1469
01:23:12,618 --> 01:23:13,827
Wait!
1470
01:23:14,494 --> 01:23:15,495
Is that?
1471
01:23:55,577 --> 01:23:56,662
May I come over?
1472
01:23:59,498 --> 01:24:00,791
Knock, knock.
1473
01:24:01,250 --> 01:24:02,292
Okay.
1474
01:24:17,307 --> 01:24:20,477
Your babies...
are beautiful!
1475
01:24:28,110 --> 01:24:30,529
Your babies are beautiful,
so is your ex.
1476
01:24:42,666 --> 01:24:43,834
Let's get a bigger place,
1477
01:24:43,917 --> 01:24:45,669
so we can have our own family.
1478
01:24:48,297 --> 01:24:49,923
Who's going
to pay for it?
1479
01:24:50,007 --> 01:24:51,216
And heeere he is...
1480
01:24:51,300 --> 01:24:52,968
Where there's a will...
1481
01:24:54,469 --> 01:24:55,512
there's a way!
1482
01:24:55,596 --> 01:24:57,306
Please, I'm not your sex object.
1483
01:25:01,643 --> 01:25:04,980
You... You posted
that... your Olympic jump?
1484
01:25:05,063 --> 01:25:07,065
You've been
clicking this all day.
1485
01:25:09,234 --> 01:25:10,611
Internet presence,
is money.
1486
01:25:13,322 --> 01:25:15,741
Did you spend any
time editing our film?
1487
01:25:16,074 --> 01:25:17,826
What are you doing
to make money huh?
1488
01:25:18,619 --> 01:25:20,954
I don't make enough for two
people, you know that.
1489
01:25:21,038 --> 01:25:22,664
You've got a work permit now.
1490
01:25:22,748 --> 01:25:24,833
It's a temporary permit.
1491
01:25:24,917 --> 01:25:26,919
Then just get a temporary job!
1492
01:25:27,002 --> 01:25:29,463
What do you want me to get,
some idiotic job,
1493
01:25:29,546 --> 01:25:31,340
like a fucking janitor huh?
1494
01:25:38,889 --> 01:25:39,890
Of course,
1495
01:25:39,973 --> 01:25:42,142
I don't want you to get a job
you don't like.
1496
01:26:03,247 --> 01:26:06,083
When I landed my first jump,
I was eight years old.
1497
01:26:07,501 --> 01:26:08,836
Off the 68 foot ramp.
1498
01:26:09,920 --> 01:26:12,506
I heard my Dad say,
"my son..."
1499
01:26:13,048 --> 01:26:16,218
he said... "my son took off like
a rocket"
1500
01:26:19,513 --> 01:26:20,889
He knew how special you are.
1501
01:26:28,355 --> 01:26:31,024
When you jump far, you have to
like lean forward a lot,
1502
01:26:32,109 --> 01:26:34,278
for the least amount
of wind resistance,
1503
01:26:36,363 --> 01:26:38,490
but the current still
has to carry you.
1504
01:26:40,534 --> 01:26:41,535
And...
1505
01:26:43,370 --> 01:26:47,124
the smallest jerk
will interrupt flow of air,
1506
01:26:47,624 --> 01:26:50,252
and make you drop out
of the sky like a rock.
1507
01:26:51,461 --> 01:26:52,462
Ah!
1508
01:26:54,423 --> 01:26:55,424
I mean...
1509
01:26:56,925 --> 01:26:58,886
to fly over 50,000 spectators...
1510
01:27:01,263 --> 01:27:05,601
dive into a sea
of white and blue flags...
1511
01:27:18,280 --> 01:27:19,865
Just want to jump one more time.
1512
01:27:19,948 --> 01:27:22,326
Just want to jump one more time.
1513
01:27:22,743 --> 01:27:23,744
Okay then,
1514
01:27:23,827 --> 01:27:25,704
you can do it again.
1515
01:27:26,580 --> 01:27:27,581
Just jump.
Jump again.
1516
01:27:27,664 --> 01:27:28,665
I'm 50 years old
1517
01:27:29,458 --> 01:27:31,502
I know what
you're going through.
1518
01:27:32,169 --> 01:27:34,087
What do you know
what I'm going through?
1519
01:27:34,171 --> 01:27:36,423
You've never been a
world champion of anything.
1520
01:27:36,507 --> 01:27:37,925
No. I know you're the hero.
1521
01:27:46,266 --> 01:27:47,643
You're their hero!
1522
01:27:51,146 --> 01:27:52,606
I will never have kids again.
1523
01:28:05,702 --> 01:28:06,703
Where's Pedia?
1524
01:28:08,830 --> 01:28:10,290
He was right there!
1525
01:28:11,416 --> 01:28:12,417
Who?
1526
01:28:12,501 --> 01:28:13,877
When Dad went on his benders,
1527
01:28:13,961 --> 01:28:15,963
Pedia and I would look
at the night sky.
1528
01:28:16,755 --> 01:28:18,382
And tell each other fairy tales
1529
01:28:20,050 --> 01:28:22,427
You mean that ugly head with
the patch of clothing?
1530
01:28:23,178 --> 01:28:24,721
He made up for his weird looks.
1531
01:28:24,805 --> 01:28:28,100
With the best heart...
and kindness!
1532
01:28:30,686 --> 01:28:32,187
I think I threw it out cleaning.
1533
01:28:34,398 --> 01:28:35,399
No!
1534
01:28:35,482 --> 01:28:37,609
No! No! No! No!
1535
01:28:38,151 --> 01:28:39,236
No!
1536
01:29:12,728 --> 01:29:14,605
You are so stupid!
1537
01:29:32,122 --> 01:29:34,750
You could have spared yourself
going through the garbage
1538
01:29:34,833 --> 01:29:36,835
like a homeless person
looking for lint...
1539
01:29:41,632 --> 01:29:43,217
Look...
1540
01:29:43,300 --> 01:29:44,801
I got you on camera.
1541
01:29:46,011 --> 01:29:47,179
How about that.
1542
01:29:47,513 --> 01:29:48,555
Huh?
1543
01:29:49,806 --> 01:29:51,266
Ooh!
1544
01:29:51,725 --> 01:29:53,310
What are you
going to do, huh?
1545
01:29:53,393 --> 01:29:55,062
Fucking asshole!
1546
01:29:55,145 --> 01:29:57,356
You're going to be upset?
Oh poor baby!
1547
01:29:57,439 --> 01:29:58,440
Fuck you!
1548
01:29:58,524 --> 01:29:59,942
Oh yeah!
Okay! Okay.
1549
01:30:00,484 --> 01:30:03,487
If you hadn't run off
like a fucking loser
1550
01:30:03,570 --> 01:30:04,655
Shut the fuck up!!
1551
01:30:04,738 --> 01:30:08,325
I could have told you,
I threw it out months ago!
1552
01:30:11,036 --> 01:30:13,121
That's what you get,
that's what you get!
1553
01:30:13,205 --> 01:30:14,456
Payback time!
1554
01:30:15,249 --> 01:30:16,333
Get out!
1555
01:30:16,416 --> 01:30:17,793
You are such a drama queen!
1556
01:30:19,378 --> 01:30:22,506
I want you to pack your bags,
and leave!
1557
01:30:38,772 --> 01:30:40,440
Ya, could I talk
to Ms. Timm please.
1558
01:30:42,067 --> 01:30:43,068
She's where?
1559
01:30:43,527 --> 01:30:44,528
A silent retreat?
1560
01:30:45,821 --> 01:30:46,905
No message, thank you.
1561
01:31:03,255 --> 01:31:04,548
No!
1562
01:31:04,631 --> 01:31:06,842
How can this happen to me!
1563
01:31:09,803 --> 01:31:11,263
Goddammit!
1564
01:31:13,682 --> 01:31:15,809
Why are you still here?
1565
01:31:15,893 --> 01:31:17,728
I erased our entire movie
by mistake!
1566
01:31:17,811 --> 01:31:19,396
I don't care!
Get out!
1567
01:31:19,897 --> 01:31:22,399
Why didn't I back it up
in iCloud?
1568
01:31:22,566 --> 01:31:24,735
I'm a fucking idiot!
1569
01:31:25,611 --> 01:31:26,820
Ow! Ow! Aah!
1570
01:31:26,904 --> 01:31:28,864
And I'm the
drama queen!
1571
01:31:28,947 --> 01:31:30,365
Help!
1572
01:31:30,449 --> 01:31:31,950
Oh, my foot, my toe!
1573
01:31:37,706 --> 01:31:39,333
Oh, it hurts!
It hurts!
1574
01:31:39,416 --> 01:31:40,417
God!
1575
01:31:40,501 --> 01:31:42,252
Can you get me
some ice please.
1576
01:31:47,341 --> 01:31:48,759
We can re-type it.
1577
01:31:53,222 --> 01:31:55,599
Come here, come up.
It's okay.
1578
01:31:59,478 --> 01:32:01,188
It hurts.
1579
01:32:01,271 --> 01:32:03,023
What are you doing to yourself?
1580
01:32:12,574 --> 01:32:15,077
I can't believe it,
I wrecked our work
1581
01:32:20,582 --> 01:32:22,417
I'm so sorry, Vicky.
1582
01:32:27,881 --> 01:32:29,049
I'm such an asshole.
1583
01:32:42,437 --> 01:32:43,605
Do you still love me?
1584
01:32:50,195 --> 01:32:51,238
What's going on?
1585
01:32:56,368 --> 01:32:57,369
Vicky!
1586
01:33:06,795 --> 01:33:09,047
Go back inside the
apartment please.
1587
01:33:09,131 --> 01:33:10,382
What's going on?
1588
01:33:10,465 --> 01:33:12,885
I'm picking up a Mr Lando Cox.
1589
01:33:13,051 --> 01:33:14,469
In a bag?
1590
01:33:15,262 --> 01:33:18,432
No, in a piano.
Yeah in a bag.
1591
01:33:19,391 --> 01:33:21,018
Let me ask you
something blondie.
1592
01:33:21,935 --> 01:33:23,645
This guy's been dead a
month,
1593
01:33:23,812 --> 01:33:26,106
what... nobody noticed?
1594
01:33:26,773 --> 01:33:28,025
He's so young!
1595
01:33:28,734 --> 01:33:29,776
Not anymore.
1596
01:33:31,987 --> 01:33:33,155
Enjoy your life, lady.
1597
01:33:58,388 --> 01:34:01,433
I dreamed a demon
was chasing me...
1598
01:34:04,102 --> 01:34:06,980
So I fled to a church with
a beautiful mural,
1599
01:34:07,064 --> 01:34:08,732
of an angel
on the ceiling.
1600
01:34:11,485 --> 01:34:12,778
Suddenly I could fly.
1601
01:34:14,863 --> 01:34:17,282
I touched the
cool surface of the mural...
1602
01:34:18,534 --> 01:34:19,952
and kissed the angel.
1603
01:34:21,787 --> 01:34:23,080
He had your face.
1604
01:34:25,290 --> 01:34:28,043
In this light your face
looks old and wrinkly.
1605
01:34:29,545 --> 01:34:30,546
- What?
- Yeah...
1606
01:34:30,629 --> 01:34:33,423
I'm just thinking of all the
things I don't like about you.
1607
01:34:33,715 --> 01:34:36,635
The way you wrinkle your nose,
when you're brush your teeth.
1608
01:34:37,511 --> 01:34:40,055
You calling out emotional states
all the time, like...
1609
01:34:40,138 --> 01:34:41,932
"happy, fat, angry"!
1610
01:34:42,015 --> 01:34:43,141
And your stupid friends.
1611
01:34:45,185 --> 01:34:48,021
By the way, did you know that
Blanche has eyes like Hitler?
1612
01:34:48,689 --> 01:34:52,526
The white is visible
at the bottom of her eyes.
1613
01:34:52,943 --> 01:34:54,653
But otherwise, you're okay?
1614
01:34:56,947 --> 01:34:59,116
And stop telling me
your stupid dreams, okay.
1615
01:34:59,950 --> 01:35:00,993
Cause people like you,
1616
01:35:01,076 --> 01:35:03,871
need to be locked
into mental institutions.
1617
01:35:04,788 --> 01:35:05,789
You know,
1618
01:35:05,873 --> 01:35:08,292
I made up the part about
the angel having your face.
1619
01:35:08,709 --> 01:35:09,793
You're the demon!
1620
01:35:10,127 --> 01:35:11,128
Oh, I'm the demon?
1621
01:35:11,211 --> 01:35:13,172
I'm the demon? Really?
1622
01:35:13,255 --> 01:35:14,882
I will show you the demon!
1623
01:35:14,965 --> 01:35:16,633
I will show you
what a demon I am!
1624
01:35:16,717 --> 01:35:18,385
I can show you...
1625
01:35:18,468 --> 01:35:21,889
what a fucking
demon and devil I am!
1626
01:35:21,972 --> 01:35:22,973
Do you like that?
1627
01:35:23,056 --> 01:35:24,183
Or do you like this...?
1628
01:35:24,266 --> 01:35:26,185
or do you like that, huh?
1629
01:35:26,560 --> 01:35:27,561
Good.
1630
01:35:27,644 --> 01:35:29,605
The script sucked anyway.
1631
01:35:29,897 --> 01:35:30,898
Now leave me alone.
1632
01:35:32,357 --> 01:35:35,360
You think you
can reject your husband huh?
1633
01:35:35,444 --> 01:35:37,362
This what Mallards
1634
01:35:37,446 --> 01:35:39,489
do to their mates
1635
01:35:39,573 --> 01:35:40,782
I need to pee!
1636
01:35:40,866 --> 01:35:42,034
You're a liar!
1637
01:35:42,117 --> 01:35:45,412
My ex-wife never
had to pee in 10 years.
1638
01:35:45,746 --> 01:35:47,748
I teach you something
about marriage.
1639
01:35:48,040 --> 01:35:50,417
Okay, you have to be
honest to your spouse.
1640
01:35:51,001 --> 01:35:52,753
Yeah!
1641
01:35:53,879 --> 01:35:54,880
Oh yeah?
1642
01:35:54,963 --> 01:35:57,674
Then what about you and Rhoda?
1643
01:35:58,091 --> 01:35:59,092
What, who?
1644
01:36:00,177 --> 01:36:01,470
You know exactly who.
1645
01:36:01,553 --> 01:36:03,764
You take pictures of each
other's asses,
1646
01:36:03,847 --> 01:36:06,391
and that's not all, I'm sure!
1647
01:36:06,892 --> 01:36:09,770
That was ass sex!
That was ass art!
1648
01:36:11,104 --> 01:36:12,147
Ow!
1649
01:36:12,648 --> 01:36:14,191
I'll call the police!
1650
01:36:18,195 --> 01:36:19,905
I told you
not to touch me...
1651
01:36:19,988 --> 01:36:21,615
stay away from me!
1652
01:36:22,157 --> 01:36:26,203
Stop abusing me! Ow!
Ouch! You're hurting me!
1653
01:36:26,286 --> 01:36:27,663
Stop abusing me!
1654
01:36:34,419 --> 01:36:35,587
By the way, you're nuts,
1655
01:36:35,671 --> 01:36:37,714
If you think I'd want
to have kids with you
1656
01:36:40,217 --> 01:36:41,260
I mean...
1657
01:36:41,343 --> 01:36:43,887
my daughters are young,
beautiful and smart.
1658
01:36:44,888 --> 01:36:47,558
Why would I want to merge
your shit DNA with theirs huh?
1659
01:36:50,102 --> 01:36:51,144
I am beautiful!
1660
01:36:52,938 --> 01:36:54,898
Your eyes are,
too close together.
1661
01:36:54,982 --> 01:36:56,441
Here I can prove it.
1662
01:36:58,235 --> 01:37:00,070
Cut that shit out!
1663
01:37:00,779 --> 01:37:03,365
You're an ugly old narcissist.
1664
01:37:03,949 --> 01:37:06,702
Who the hell would want to have
kids with someone like you?
1665
01:37:06,785 --> 01:37:08,120
What did I ever do to you?
1666
01:37:08,203 --> 01:37:09,329
You let me down...
1667
01:37:09,413 --> 01:37:10,789
economically.
1668
01:37:11,790 --> 01:37:13,166
What the fuck?
1669
01:37:13,250 --> 01:37:15,586
I pay all your bills,
your rent,
1670
01:37:15,669 --> 01:37:17,462
phone, food,
your immigration lawyer!
1671
01:37:17,546 --> 01:37:19,256
Get the fuck out now!
1672
01:37:21,592 --> 01:37:23,010
Now you listen to me.
1673
01:37:23,093 --> 01:37:24,261
And listen carefully.
1674
01:37:24,344 --> 01:37:26,346
I'll stay here
in this fucking apartment,
1675
01:37:26,430 --> 01:37:28,307
till I get my permanent
green card.
1676
01:37:29,349 --> 01:37:31,310
Then I will divorce you!
1677
01:37:39,735 --> 01:37:41,486
You bought Tuscan bread again?
1678
01:37:41,570 --> 01:37:43,614
I mean look! Ezekiel...
1679
01:37:43,697 --> 01:37:46,200
why don't you remember,
Ezekiel bread?
1680
01:37:47,034 --> 01:37:48,035
I forgot.
1681
01:37:48,118 --> 01:37:50,287
You forgot because
you don't focus!
1682
01:37:50,829 --> 01:37:52,831
You do this, and that
and the other thing,
1683
01:37:52,915 --> 01:37:55,083
and you forget important stuff
like bread!
1684
01:37:55,292 --> 01:37:57,961
You're right,
I should focus more.
1685
01:37:58,670 --> 01:38:00,214
- That's right,
1686
01:38:00,297 --> 01:38:01,381
you should focus more.
1687
01:38:01,465 --> 01:38:02,466
Call me God.
1688
01:38:02,549 --> 01:38:04,718
I won't call you God,
but I will call you Gut.
1689
01:38:09,681 --> 01:38:11,266
You think that's
funny huh?
1690
01:38:11,350 --> 01:38:12,434
You think that's funny?
1691
01:38:12,518 --> 01:38:14,561
You think that's funny huh?
Huh? Huh?
1692
01:38:31,245 --> 01:38:32,579
Hey! What's going on?
1693
01:38:32,663 --> 01:38:33,789
We texted you 20 times,
1694
01:38:33,872 --> 01:38:36,333
you don't answer our calls,
or messages on Facebook?
1695
01:38:36,416 --> 01:38:37,793
I've been busy.
1696
01:38:37,876 --> 01:38:39,378
Why are you wearing sunglasses?
1697
01:38:39,461 --> 01:38:41,713
I have such a headache.
1698
01:38:41,797 --> 01:38:43,715
Wait, did he put his
hands on you?
1699
01:38:45,300 --> 01:38:47,177
I don't want to talk about it.
1700
01:38:47,719 --> 01:38:49,763
When are you going
to kick that fucker out?
1701
01:38:49,847 --> 01:38:50,848
I love him.
1702
01:38:50,931 --> 01:38:52,766
And I love a knife in my ass!
1703
01:38:52,850 --> 01:38:54,560
Listen, go to the police.
1704
01:38:55,227 --> 01:38:56,228
I gotta go.
1705
01:39:41,690 --> 01:39:42,816
Ow!
1706
01:43:26,039 --> 01:43:27,082
Shit!
1707
01:43:41,638 --> 01:43:42,848
Who is it?
1708
01:43:43,348 --> 01:43:44,766
Your mother-in-law!
1709
01:43:54,484 --> 01:43:55,652
Where is my daughter?
1710
01:43:55,736 --> 01:43:57,321
And a good day to you
1711
01:44:01,033 --> 01:44:02,326
She'll be back in a minute.
1712
01:44:08,957 --> 01:44:09,958
Are you sick?
1713
01:44:10,042 --> 01:44:11,043
No.
1714
01:44:12,711 --> 01:44:14,755
Why... are you
in bed at this hour?
1715
01:44:20,719 --> 01:44:21,720
Huh?
1716
01:44:21,803 --> 01:44:23,138
None of your business.
1717
01:44:27,226 --> 01:44:28,602
I guess someone has to...
1718
01:44:34,274 --> 01:44:35,275
someone...
1719
01:44:36,109 --> 01:44:37,819
has to be the man around here.
1720
01:44:46,703 --> 01:44:47,704
Uh!
1721
01:44:50,082 --> 01:44:51,083
Ah!
1722
01:44:51,375 --> 01:44:53,585
She's always punctual,
my daughter, isn't she?
1723
01:45:00,592 --> 01:45:01,593
Huh?
1724
01:45:03,095 --> 01:45:05,013
And she's not only beautiful,
1725
01:45:05,848 --> 01:45:07,015
but talented...
1726
01:45:08,976 --> 01:45:10,727
Yeah, I'm a lucky guy.
1727
01:45:12,604 --> 01:45:13,647
The trouble is,
1728
01:45:14,690 --> 01:45:16,441
her heart's too good...
1729
01:45:16,692 --> 01:45:18,151
For what huh?
1730
01:45:20,487 --> 01:45:21,864
Ah!
1731
01:45:22,781 --> 01:45:25,576
Your mother barged in
here and started threatening me.
1732
01:45:26,493 --> 01:45:27,494
Mutti!
1733
01:45:28,370 --> 01:45:31,123
My child!
1734
01:45:31,290 --> 01:45:33,417
You're teaching dance like this?
1735
01:45:34,042 --> 01:45:35,544
What are you doing here?
1736
01:45:38,589 --> 01:45:39,590
Whah.
1737
01:45:42,176 --> 01:45:43,177
Hah.
1738
01:45:49,850 --> 01:45:51,018
Enzo called
1739
01:45:51,894 --> 01:45:53,854
He told me what you're
been going through.
1740
01:45:54,938 --> 01:45:56,607
Why does everyone butt in?
1741
01:45:57,149 --> 01:45:58,233
Shit!
1742
01:46:01,069 --> 01:46:02,070
Sorry,
1743
01:46:02,446 --> 01:46:03,447
Do you want some tea?
1744
01:46:03,530 --> 01:46:04,740
Yes, thank you.
1745
01:46:06,533 --> 01:46:07,534
Chamomile?
1746
01:46:07,618 --> 01:46:08,619
Yes.
1747
01:46:16,251 --> 01:46:17,503
Excuse me.
1748
01:46:23,634 --> 01:46:25,928
Why do you let him
treat you like this?
1749
01:46:26,386 --> 01:46:27,471
I'm not so innocent,
1750
01:46:28,055 --> 01:46:29,056
I nag him.
1751
01:46:30,933 --> 01:46:32,643
Where is your self-respect?
1752
01:46:34,645 --> 01:46:35,812
Yeah.
1753
01:46:36,438 --> 01:46:37,981
Who did I learn from?
1754
01:46:39,399 --> 01:46:40,943
I didn't go through everything,
1755
01:46:41,026 --> 01:46:45,906
so... so... you could support
this piece of crap
1756
01:46:47,115 --> 01:46:48,116
I love him!
1757
01:46:53,288 --> 01:46:54,331
Pack your things,
1758
01:46:55,332 --> 01:46:56,667
you're coming with me!
1759
01:46:58,710 --> 01:46:59,878
My home is here!
1760
01:47:03,966 --> 01:47:04,967
Hmph!
1761
01:47:05,592 --> 01:47:07,177
He'll never look
that good again,
1762
01:47:07,261 --> 01:47:09,054
your Prince Harming!
1763
01:47:09,763 --> 01:47:11,598
Well at least he's famous.
1764
01:47:14,017 --> 01:47:16,019
Your father
was a star fucker!
1765
01:47:16,645 --> 01:47:18,355
I'm "not" a star fucker.
1766
01:47:19,690 --> 01:47:21,692
Max and I have
a real relationship.
1767
01:47:26,947 --> 01:47:27,948
Go ahead,
1768
01:47:28,031 --> 01:47:29,116
give up your friends,
1769
01:47:29,199 --> 01:47:30,325
say goodbye to me!
1770
01:47:30,409 --> 01:47:31,827
This is my life!
1771
01:47:33,370 --> 01:47:36,999
You are a slave,
to what you're afraid to loose.
1772
01:47:40,252 --> 01:47:43,046
Why are you afraid
to lose this... this...
1773
01:47:59,980 --> 01:48:01,690
Mutti!
1774
01:48:15,495 --> 01:48:16,496
Hi everyone,
1775
01:48:16,580 --> 01:48:20,000
this is the follow up to my
'pretzel talk' with Max Bauer.
1776
01:48:25,756 --> 01:48:27,758
Open the fucking door!
1777
01:48:29,051 --> 01:48:30,636
Show time!
1778
01:48:45,442 --> 01:48:46,527
You changed the locks?
1779
01:48:48,237 --> 01:48:50,030
This is...
divorce papers.
1780
01:48:50,113 --> 01:48:52,366
You'll sign them,
and then you'll leave.
1781
01:48:52,449 --> 01:48:54,618
I warned you,
don't fuck with me!
1782
01:48:54,701 --> 01:48:57,204
All I want you to do,
is sign them.
1783
01:48:58,413 --> 01:49:00,290
This better be a joke!
1784
01:49:00,749 --> 01:49:02,000
Where's my stuff?
1785
01:49:03,710 --> 01:49:05,462
Here.
Including your medal!
1786
01:49:06,797 --> 01:49:08,799
I'll have you arrested
for locking me out!
1787
01:49:09,424 --> 01:49:10,425
Oh yeah?
1788
01:49:10,509 --> 01:49:12,135
Are you going to sign this
or not?
1789
01:49:23,105 --> 01:49:25,357
I'll have you arrested
for locking me out!
1790
01:49:25,440 --> 01:49:27,401
Well then, you're going
to jail with me!
1791
01:49:27,693 --> 01:49:30,445
But I'll sue you for spousal
abuse, abandonment and rape!
1792
01:49:35,701 --> 01:49:36,952
Where are my knives?
1793
01:49:37,035 --> 01:49:39,705
You think your daughters
are going to visit you in jail?
1794
01:49:40,956 --> 01:49:44,960
Do you think the public wants
to hear the story I can tell?
1795
01:49:51,091 --> 01:49:52,551
My knives are not here!
1796
01:49:52,634 --> 01:49:55,512
You really think I'd be stupid
enough to let you have knives?
1797
01:49:58,932 --> 01:50:01,810
I... am going to kill you!
1798
01:50:09,026 --> 01:50:11,111
I always thought
you were somebody.
1799
01:50:12,613 --> 01:50:16,867
Go ahead...
prove that you're a nobody.
1800
01:50:23,916 --> 01:50:26,168
Haven't you done enough?
1801
01:50:27,336 --> 01:50:30,088
You could have had it all...
you stupid bitch!
1802
01:50:31,381 --> 01:50:33,050
Police!
Open the door!
1803
01:50:34,968 --> 01:50:36,386
Police, let me see your hands!
1804
01:50:36,470 --> 01:50:37,471
Don't hurt me!
1805
01:50:37,554 --> 01:50:39,473
Let me see your hands!
Put your hands up!
1806
01:50:39,556 --> 01:50:40,557
It's okay!
1807
01:50:40,641 --> 01:50:41,892
Turn around.
1808
01:50:41,975 --> 01:50:44,019
Don't hurt me!
It's not what it looks like!
1809
01:50:44,102 --> 01:50:47,022
Turn around! Put your
hands in the small of your back
1810
01:50:48,106 --> 01:50:50,692
Aah! Ouch!
I didn't do anything.
1811
01:50:50,776 --> 01:50:52,402
Get this guy
to bookings.
1812
01:50:52,486 --> 01:50:53,612
I need my lawyer,
1813
01:50:53,820 --> 01:50:54,863
I'm a famous Olympian.
1814
01:50:55,656 --> 01:50:57,282
We were rehearsing
a reality show!
1815
01:50:57,366 --> 01:50:58,367
Tell them Vicky!
1816
01:50:58,492 --> 01:51:00,410
And my grandmother
is Santa Claus!
1817
01:51:00,536 --> 01:51:01,828
Get him outta here!
1818
01:51:03,747 --> 01:51:04,873
Are you okay ma'am?
1819
01:51:06,250 --> 01:51:08,418
You're lucky your mother saw
you live streaming
1820
01:51:10,170 --> 01:51:11,171
And cut!
1821
01:51:12,673 --> 01:51:13,924
Good, good job!
1822
01:51:17,427 --> 01:51:18,554
It's good for camera.
1823
01:51:19,888 --> 01:51:21,223
Yeah, that was good.
1824
01:51:21,306 --> 01:51:22,599
Mr Bauer.
1825
01:51:22,683 --> 01:51:24,434
Oh you can call me Max
1826
01:51:25,811 --> 01:51:26,812
Max.
1827
01:51:27,604 --> 01:51:29,815
Not only did you win the
World Cup,
1828
01:51:29,898 --> 01:51:32,693
you set a world record
in ski-jumping,
1829
01:51:32,776 --> 01:51:35,487
for 954 feet in Albertville,
1830
01:51:35,571 --> 01:51:38,949
while landing on only one ski,
after the other came off!
1831
01:51:39,032 --> 01:51:40,367
Somebody did their homework!
1832
01:51:40,450 --> 01:51:42,035
I do what I can!
1833
01:51:43,245 --> 01:51:44,538
So, what does it feel like,
1834
01:51:44,621 --> 01:51:48,166
to fly at the speed of 75 mph,
1835
01:51:48,250 --> 01:51:50,460
over an area as large as a
football field?
1836
01:51:50,544 --> 01:51:52,588
Like in slow motion,
if all goes well.
1837
01:51:54,423 --> 01:51:55,883
How do you
overcome your fear?
1838
01:51:56,717 --> 01:51:59,052
Well, if you're afraid,
you shouldn't jump...
1839
01:51:59,136 --> 01:52:03,599
I imagine the space
below me not as empty,
1840
01:52:03,682 --> 01:52:08,896
but filled with energy,
voices, spirits.
1841
01:52:13,942 --> 01:52:15,527
Fascinating...
1842
01:52:17,029 --> 01:52:18,113
and everywhere you go,
1843
01:52:19,198 --> 01:52:22,743
your fans want to see
the famous "Tele Max"!
1844
01:52:22,826 --> 01:52:23,869
Oh that!
1845
01:52:25,621 --> 01:52:28,081
That trademark finish
you execute
1846
01:52:28,165 --> 01:52:30,542
with the elegance
of a dancer
1847
01:52:30,626 --> 01:52:32,669
after your
legendary landing!
1848
01:52:32,753 --> 01:52:34,796
You're the dancer.
I just move around!
1849
01:52:43,175 --> 01:52:48,175
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