All language subtitles for Padre No Hay Más QPadre No Hay Más Que Unoue Uno

- Hi, sweetie.
- Hi, sweetie.

How are you?
Kids, look, it's Mom!

- Hi, Mom!
- Hi, Mom! I learned a new song!

And I did well on my exam!

And one of my teeth fell out!

Be quiet and let Mom talk.

You all look so great.
I can't wait to see you.

Hey, where's Paulita?

She's taking a siesta.

You got Paulita to take a siesta?
Now that's amazing.

You're doing so well I hate it.
Maybe I should stay here.

Don't say that, we can't wait
to see you on Monday.

Yeah, it's only two more days.
Be good.

I've got to go,
I'm having a massage.

- Okay, bye!
I love you!

Good lord. Kids, we have two days
to fix this disaster.

First, let's pick up your sister
and get in the car. We're late.

Come on, let's go.

SIX DAYS EARLIER

- Let go.
- Give it to me.

Give it to me.

Mom.

Rocío, I'm trying to fix
the curtains.

I need you to put my hair
in a bun.

But you're going to bed now.

So what?

You can't sleep
with your hair up.

We sleep with anything we want.
You sleep with Dad and I don't say a word.

That's true.

Mom, quiz me on capitals?

Sure.

Sweetie, did you see
how good the curtains look?

Beautiful.

- Andalusia.
- Seville.

We need new ones.

Yes, darling.

- Cantabria.
- Santander.

Mom, Dani hurt my foot.

Dani, did you hurt
your sister's foot?

She hurt it by kicking me!

Hi!

- I'm here.
- Great.

Darling, we're leaving.

Okay, see you later.

You and I are going out to dinner.

Rosaura came to watch the kids.

Sweetie, I'm really busy.

Why don't I watch the kids
and you go to dinner with her?

To celebrate our anniversary?
You want me to go out with the maid?

Okay, don't be upset. At least
I remembered it was today.

You didn't. You say happy anniversary
every morning just in case.

Happy anniversary, sweetie.

Good morning, sweetie.
Happy anniversary.

Happy anniversary, sweetie.

It's not today either.

It's not?

The day we got married I promised
I would never forget our anniversary.

Right.

Make up your mind already.

- Or the waiter will never come.
- Yes, darling.

Are you working?

Why did I marry
a computer technician?

I don't know what I'm celebrating.

I was finishing something.
Sorry, I'm all yours.

I can't believe it's been
15 years.

It's our Crystal Anniversary.

Crystal?

- Yeah.
- No such thing.

I'll check Google.

Yes?

Dani, darling, I'm having dinner
with Dad.

Don't pay attention to her,
she'll get tired.

Yes, kiss, kiss.

Dani says Paulita is chasing him
around with a felt pen.

Hey, it's true.

Crystal Anniversary, 15 years.

5 years Wood, 10 Aluminum,
15 Crystal.

Just so you know,

I have it all organized.

I can't believe we're finally
going to do it

after 15 years saying:
Next year,

next year,

next year.

Yeah, huh?

Wow.

Yes, Paulita. Slow down,

I don't understand you.

Tell your brother to be nice.

Goodbye.

That's enough, honey.

You say I'm bad.

Can we focus here or what?

What if something happens?

Sweetie, cell phones
are like kids.

Let them cry
until they get tired.

If you answer right away
they get used to it.

And they won't stop
until you answer.

It's basic parenting.
This is our moment.

- Let's talk about our romantic trip.
- Yeah.

I can't go.

- I can't get the days off.
- What?

I thought it would be fine,
but when I asked, they said no.

It's you too, honey.

You can't plan things
like this overnight.

Me?

If you'd told me sooner...

OCTOBER

- Did you ask for time off?
- Yes, dear.

JANUARY

Did you ask for time off
from work for our trip?

Yes, dear.

APRIL

- Did you ask for time off?
- Yes, dear.

Honey, I swear we'll go next year.

Besides, "Crystal Anniversary"
doesn't sound very solid.

While next year

would be our Ivy Anniversary.

- Sounds much greener.
- I can't believe it.

Fine, I'll call tomorrow
and cancel everything.

Good. That's the spirit.

Sometimes you drown in
a glass of water. Like with the kids.

You see?

You can't help yourself.

Even at our anniversary dinner.

Then you'll say I'm the one
losing the flame. Go on,

answer it.

Rosaura.

What?130

The emergency room?
We're on our way.

What happened?

Paula stabbed Dani in the eye
with a felt pen.

Is this woman stupid or what?

Why didn't she call us sooner?

You did it again.

Look, over there.

Rosaura! Where's Dani?

He's okay, they're putting
a patch on his eye.

He has to wear it
until next Wednesday.

Why would you stab his eye
with a felt pen?

She wanted to color them blue
like a demon.

What?

Like my baby.

Little angels.

And tomorrow your brother
and Carmen are coming for lunch.

- She's so obnoxious.
- You're exhausted.

Hey, I'm getting an idea.

Why don't you take the trip?

I'll stay here
and handle everything.

You want me to take
the anniversary trip alone

and leave you here
to watch the kids?

I don't even know
how to answer that.

Honey, you deserve it.

Of course I deserve it,
it's the kids who don't.

Why not? Why do you say that?
I'm being serious.

Take the trip, relax,
come back brand new,

everyone's happy.
It's not so complicated.

Forgive him, Lord,
he doesn't know what he's saying.

Close that and go to sleep.
Let's go to sleep.

By the way, you have to go to
the supermarket, I forgot something.

You're disorganized,
you should make a list.

Look, do you know how much
I have to deal with?

Sure I do. That's my point.
Between your job and the kids,

it's like having two jobs.
It's normal you're overloaded.

You should take this trip. If you're
still stressed when you get back,

quit your job and we'll get by
on mine.

Me? You should quit yours.

Why me? I only have one,
you're the one with two.

Are you hearing yourself?
The kids should be your job too.

They would be if you let me.

You could be right.

Maybe I should let you.

That's right.

No, children, stop.

Go watch TV or the tablet
or a painting or something.

Go on, go on.

Javier can't go with you?
Take me instead!

Why leave Spain?
We have everything here.

Sure, brother-in-law.

Of course. Hey, maybe
he took off on his own.

He's taking a while
at the supermarket.

You're right, I only sent him
to get one thing.

Okay, all set. Your mother
drowns in a glass of water.

Dad, it took us two hours
to buy salt.

It's not just salt.

It's the salt.

Do I have to explain again
the huge difference between

kosher, normal, sea
and Himalayan salt?

Yeah, but Mom wanted pepper.

She has no clue, let's go.

Leave me alone, ugly.

You're ugly.

No, when they take off my patch
I'll have one eye each color.

Fool, you think getting stabbed
with a felt pen

will change your eye color?

Are mermaids real?

No, sweetie.
They're mythological animals.

I love how naive children are.

No way, they're gross.

I'd rather be in a room
full of rats than with a kid.

- You're allergic to rats.
- Exactly.

They drive you nuts,
especially babies.

Keeping you up all night...

We were lucky there,
these all slept 8 hours straight.

I'll be right there.

Marisa.

The meat is delicious.

Thank you.

Right?

Can you tell, honey?

It's perfect.

The other salt isn't the same.

Mom, are there more
mythological animals?

Yeah, the centaur,
which is half man, half horse.

And your father,

half husband, half brother-in-law,

which is practical

because you get two relatives
for the price of one.

And what are his powers?

His greatest super power is that

everything he does,
no matter how small,

is incredibly important

and he always knows
exactly what to say, like:

"You're disorganized,"

"You drown in a glass of water,"
and my favorite:

"Honey, don't get nervous."

What crap.

Exactly, Dani, it's crap.

I don't think that animal
is real.

You just made it up.

Sure it is. In fact,
almost all women have one.

And you know the only way to defeat

a husband-brother-in-law?

How?

Go to the Caribbean and let him
prove he's right about everything.

Seriously, honey?
Sounds great to me.

Go ahead.

We'll stay here and do our best.

Okay, wonderful.

I'll get dessert.

Carmen, come with me?

Yes, of course.

No, not for dessert.
To the Caribbean.

Then...

Dad is Mom's brother-in-law?

I thought Mom's husband
was Uncle Paco.

Of course I am because
Dad is my brother.

Uncle Paco is your brother?
I didn't know that.

I thought Uncle Paco
was Aunt Carmen's husband.

He's Aunt Carmen's husband
but also Mom's brother-in-law.

So Uncle Paco is half husband
half brother-in-law too.

Right you are, darling.

You're really going?

Of course I am,
you kept insisting.

Yeah, but I thought it was a joke
like the brother-in-law thing.

I think it's brave of you to want to see
if you can live without the kids and me.

It will make you independent
and give you more self-confidence.

Excuse me?

Admit it, you do a lot of things,

and you deserve credit,

but you do them
to feel needed.

You need to free yourself
of that need.

So I'm the needy one?

You're going to flip, buddy.

Let's start from the beginning.
We have five kids.

Dani is the boy, he stands out
because all the others are girls.

His tooth is falling out.

If Paulita can't sleep,
put on

"The Texas Chainsaw Massacre"
or "Child's Play,"

if she gets mollusks, a rash...

- Are you listening?
- Yes.

If she gets mollusks, use the cream.
Dani is in the question phase,

Rocío, bad words
and Paulita, tantrums.

And Sara's the wild pre-teenager,
no need to explain my kids to me.

Paulita picks on Dani,
Carlota and Sara pick on Rocío.

It's not so easy, the alliances
are always changing.

One morning Rocío and Carlota

team up against Dani
and in the evening

Carlota, Dani, and Paulita
team up against Sara.

Paulita gets involved?

Paulita?

She's her own minority
political party.

Her support can make
the difference

and she'll give it to anyone
who gives her what she wants.

I wish you a quiet legislature.

Come with me.

You won't have any problem
because it's all written

here on these panels.

You pick them all up

at school at 5, take Paulita
to the speech therapist

at 5:30, Dani to basketball at 6

and Carlota to violin class
at 7:30.

Paulita finishes at 6:30
and it's next to basketball,

so I recommend you wait for Dani
before taking Carlota to violin class.

Drop Rocío off at home
because Cristina's mother

picks her up for dance class at 7.

Pick up Rocío and Cristina at 8
at dance class,

drop Cristina at her house,

and pick up Carlota

on the way home. Monday's are easy.
Now Tuesdays.

Hi, sweetie!

Carlota wakes herself up
every morning

half an hour early because
she doesn't trust us to wake up.

If you don't understand Paulita,
Carlota will translate.

I left Paulita's food prepared
in Tupperware in the fridge.

Remember, she's allergic.

Of course, darling.

Yeah? To what?

Eggs, shellfish and some nuts.

Which nuts?

Almonds, walnuts,

- peanuts...
- No!

Peanuts aren't nuts,
they're legumes.

Peanuts are legumes?

Did you know that?

Of course, Dad.
The Leguminosae family.

So is she allergic to peanuts
or not?

Yes, that too.

Then who cares what family it is.

But she's not allergic to pistachios
or gevuinas.

But don't give her any
just in case.

I don't even know
a gevuina is.

If you do, she can go into
anaphylactic shock

and you have to give her
an adrenaline shot.

It's all in the First-aid kit.

Yes, yes.

That's easy.

Check your cell phone,
I have a surprise for you.330

185 unread messages.

Welcome to the school parents'
chat group.

It's very practical,
it'll save your life.

Oh, my taxi.

I've added you
to all the groups

and Carlota will explain
how it works.

Rosaura will be here
any second to wake up the kids.

And one thing.
Be nice to her.

She's the only good thing that's
happened to me since I got married.

The only good thing?

No, sweetie, how silly of me.

Not the only good thing,
but the best.

And the other mothers at school

want to steal her,
so treat her well.

I'd much rather you left me
for another woman

than for her to.

And never turn off
or silence your cell phone. Ever.

Under any circumstances.
Call me if you need anything.

Sweetheart, don't worry.

Disconnect and have fun,
I won't bother you

all week, you know I'm a man

of my word.

- Goodbye.
- Bye.

I can't take it anymore.

I've reached my limit,
I know I promised your mom

I wouldn't call her
no matter what, but...

This is as far as I go.

I knew it, you can't handle them.

What?

Want me to come back?

No, smartypants.

Everything's great, I'm only calling
to see if you're having fun.

Honey, I'm still in the taxi
on the way to the airport.

Well, we miss you, that's all.

Have a great time.
Okay, bye.

This isn't going to work,
I should go back.

Should we turn around?

No way.
I'll cut off your balls.

Please!

Kids, time for breakfast.

Dad, are we Opus Dei?

What? No, why?

What's Opus Dei?

At school they say
we're Opus.

Because too many kids.

No, it's just that Sara
wanted a little brother,

so we said:"Let's go for a pair."
We talked to the stork,

but he brought you instead.

Then we called it again
and it brought Rocío.

Another mistake.

Well, yes. But it's okay
because the third time

it brought you.

So Rocío and I were mistakes.

No, honey, for God's sake.
The mistake was Paulita.

Good morning.

Sorry I'm late,
I had a little problem.

I see you're limping,
did something happen?

I got run over when I was 5.
I've walked like this for 50 years.

Sorry, I hadn't noticed.

Then you have no excuse.
Did you know I was alone with the kids?

Do you really want know what
it's like to be alone with them?

Rosaura, I'm sorry.

Forgive me.

I'm late to an important meeting.

I can't take them to school.

Here's some money,

take them in a taxi.
Thanks.

We're off to a great start.

You mean there are
no seats together?

Then we'll be separated
the whole trip.

This isn't what we agreed to.

We might have to file
a complaint.

Thanks!

No way, forget the complaint.
You're going to fix this

right now.

I'm not going to drool
on a stranger's shoulder, how gross.

The application tests are correct,
the terminals work

and the transactions are working.

All right.

The app has to be ready

- on Friday.
- Friday?

That's impossible.

We have to prepare the launch.

Copy the programs,
configure

the app in stores,

- run tests...
- Don't worry, we'll work

25 hours a day if we have to.
The app will be ready Friday morning.

Understood?

We have to work.

We can't let down
our best clients.

They're the most important
supermarket chain in the country.

Okay, then for that
I think we would have to...

Yeah, sorry.

To have the app ready
this Friday, I would have to...

I'd have to program it myself.

Why don't you turn it off?

I can't, my wife said not to in case
something happens to the kids.

Then shouldn't you answer it?

She didn't mention that.

Sorry, I'd better answer it.

Yes, what is it?
Yes, that's me.

He got in a fight?

Okay, I'm on my way.

What is this, an American movie?

Since when do they call a Spanish
father at work for something like this?

We've been fools ever since
we started celebrating Halloween.

You're telling me.
Cover for me.

Did you have to fight
right when Mom was away?

Excuse me?

Dani gets in fights every day.
Your wife comes all the time.

Really?

That's hard to believe.
He's such a quiet boy at home.

I'm Harry Potter!

I'm Superman!

Very bad, Dani.

No fighting, especially this week
with only one eye left.

- I know.
- Anyway,

I hope you talk to him.

You can leave.

Wait, wait. You want me
to take him with me?

His sisters have another hour left.
What will I do with him?

He got punched in the eye.

Maybe take him to a doctor?

Yeah, you're right.
Good call.

Come on, boy.

Why are we stopped outside school?

Weren't we going to the doctor?

Quit griping, I'll take you
when your sisters get out.

I'm not making two trips.

But Dad, I'm seeing double.

Dad, I see double!

That's great.

It makes up for your covered eye.
It's like seeing normal.

Just hold on.
We're having a nice little chat.

Dad...

- Dad!
- What?

- You wanted to chat?
- Yeah.

But quietly.

If you go blind,
I'll get you a dog.

Carlota, wait.

Dad, I don't need a man
to hold my hand while crossing.

Because I'm a woman, right?

No, because you're not
a woman yet.

You have to go and get Paulita.

Okay.

Classroom 4, third door,
second hall on the right.

Okay, get in the car
so nobody kidnaps you.

- See you tomorrow, Alex.
- Bye.

Goodbye.

Flor, your grandmother is here.

Goodbye.

Who are you?

The father.

Whose father?

This girl's father.

What's her name?

Paula.

- Paula what?
- García Loyola.

Who is that?

- That's Paulita.
- Hey!

Who are you?
Stop him!

He's taking the girl!

- I'm calling the police.
- This is my daughter.

Your daughter? Sweetie...

Is this man your father?

I don't know.

Are you stupid or what?

Then what's her name?

Not again. Ma'am, I'm not
going to explain myself to you.

Police!

Police!

Hi, Dad.

So you're really Marisa's husband?

Yes, ma'am.

Okay, girls, let's go.
Nice meeting you.

Where is Marisa?

On a trip.

- She said she was taking a trip.
- Yeah, but an anniversary trip.

That's right, she's celebrating
our anniversary.

Sweetie, remember the costume
for Friday.

- What costume?
- I have no idea.

What costume?

It's all in the parents' chat group.

- Marisa gave it to you, right?
- Yes.

Don't worry, it's all in there.

With the parents' chat groups

kids practically raise themselves.

It's like a food processor
for childhood.

Just follow everything it says.

Great, thanks.
Let's go, sweetie.

I thought Marisa said
he was attractive.

She thought we'd never see him.

Maybe she thinks he is.

I'm still suspicious. An anniversary trip
without the husband?

I'd leave him at home too.

- Is this everyone?
- We're missing Sara.

Mom picks her up
around the corner.

Why?

Look, there she is.
Put on your seat belts.

What's he doing?

I should have called the police.

Sara.

Come on, get in the car.

I don't want anyone to see me
with my daddy.

Would you get in already?
I've caused enough suspicious today!

Sara.

Either get in or I'll put you in.

- What are you doing?
- Come on.

- What are you doing?
- We're going home.

Let me go!

- Put me down!

What are you doing?

Today we have Paulita's
speech therapist.

What did she say?

She doesn't want to go,
she speaks fine.

Okay, then.
No speech therapist today.

I have a lot of work to do.

Good lord.

Dad, what does gay mean?

Gay?

I don't know,
I've never heard the word.

Carlos Ramos' parents are gay.

No idea. Does that mean they're happy?

That's your answer
for everything?

I'm substituting for one week.

I'm not getting involved.

Let love die.
It kisses, it lies, it scratches...

Rocío, can you be quiet?

Since when do you sing Jurado?

Since age three.

Non-stop.

But Mom keeps her away from you

- so you can work.
- Look, Dad!

Look, Dad!

I'm Batman!

Batman can't fly, fool.

Oh, right. I'm a dummy.

Let love die...

Look, Dad, I'm Superman!

Hey, please.

I can't concentrate
with all this noise.

Dad, I have detergent,
glue and shaving cream.

Got any contact lens solution?

What are you making, a bomb?

No, I'm making slime.

Contact lens solution
is expensive.

I can use borax. It's toxic,
but it's cheaper.

Okay, then, use that.

It comes, it goes, it crushes.
Let love die.

What did I say?
Keep it down.

I have to rehearse!

The Top Singers Kids audition
is on Friday.

Did your mom sign you up
for that? I'm not taking you.

Why? Do you have to work?

No, I have a sense
of the ridiculous. And you don't.

Look, Dad! Look, Dad! Look, Dad!

Okay, what?

I don't know,
I didn't think you'd look.

Where is Rosaura?
They're all over me.

She's bathing Paulita.

- Right, there's another one.
- Two more.

Yeah, but at least Sara
is a teenager.

She locks herself in her bedroom
and doesn't bother me.

Mom tells her to come out
every 12 minutes.

I can't take the chance she might.
This is so unfair.

Me bearing this
and your mother having fun.

I'll get dinner,
I bathed the little one.

By the way, she has mollusks.

Mollusks?
She can't have mollusks!

- She's allergic to shellfish!
- Dad, mollusks

are contagious warts
you get at the pool.

Oh, okay.

- Are you working?
- I wish, darling.

I've read 400 messages
from the mother chat

and I can't find this costume.

That's the ducky mother chat.

Paula's costume will be
in the chick mother chat.

What?

The duckies are Dani's class.

The chicks are preschool,
Paulita's class.

I have four different
chick chats.

Red, green, blue

and wet chicks.

The wet chicks are the pool.
You should warn about the mollusks.

Add to the chat voluntarily?
That's insanity.

What do the colors mean?

They put colors depending
on the "abilities" of each child.

Why did your mother put me
in all these chick chats?

Because Paula might be

a green chick in art class
and a blue chick in gym class.

But where is the costume?

That I don't know, ask Mom.

Not a word to your mother.

I'll find this
if it's the last thing I do.

Dinner's ready!

Carlota, help set the table.

Why me?
Because I'm a woman?

Not again!

What about Dani?

Dani can't see squat.

- And her?
- Who?

That's me...
María from Cordoba,

with fire in my eyes
and a carnation in my hair.

Dear followers, today we're going
to explain how to make a perforation

or piercing in the cartilage area
of the ear,

which is tougher and more
resistant than the lobe.

I have here my model.

Sara!

What? I'm making a YouTube video!

Now I'll have to start over.

We take an ice cube

and put it behind the ear
to serve as an anesthetic.

And the hypodermic needle
previously disinfected.

And then...

That's okay, some areas
are more sensitive than others.

Let's repeat the operation
but this time in a soft area.

The tongue.

- Sara!
- Damn it, I'm coming!

Like I was saying
before they moved my seat,

Paco spends over 20 hours
in that pizzeria.

If the kids are handling
the orders,

why do you have to be there?
Why?

What's wrong with this thing?

- Yours too.
Ladies and gentlemen.

Please put your seats
in the upright position.

We'll be landing
in a few minutes.

- What?
- Thank God.

No, wait. Please.

We're watching a movie,
they can't turn it off now.

You weren't even watching it.

Stewardess! Stewardess!

I want to see the end of the movie.
Please turn on my screen.

I'm sorry, ma'am.
We're about to land.

Then turn it on while we land.

I have a right to service

during the whole flight.

Imagine if I said I won't pay for
the last 15 minutes of the flight.

You'd kick me off, right?

Ma'am, it's not possible
during the descent.

Then have them turn around.

There's enough propane

to turn around, isn't there?

Please stop squealing,
I hear you perfectly.

Squealing?
Who's squealing here?

Ma'am, calm down!

You can finish the film
on the flight back.

You see?

Look, Miss. I came to Cancún
to relax.

You can't imagine how stressed
I might get

from not knowing how the movie ends.

I could spend my vacation
wishing they were over.

Tell me about it!

Paula, you're not going to bed

until you finish everything.

- So it's up to you.
- Want me to intervene?

No, Rosaura, thank you.
This is between Paula and me.

Leave us alone.

Come on, everyone to bed.

Paula, stop chewing and swallow.

Swallow.

Stop chewing.

You asked for it.

Excuse me, that's is my suitcase.

What? Please.
It's my sister-in-law's suitcase.

Why won't he answer the phone?

Come on, answer it.

Let's go. That witch insisted
your suitcase was hers.

Some people shouldn't be
allowed to travel.

Paula, I have your baby.
Swallow or he goes out the window.

Who's calling so much?

Yes?

Darling, finally!
How is everything?

So early?

Even Paulita?

Paulita is out like a light.
I was just tucking her in.

Shut up!

Okay, send me a photo
so I can see her,

even asleep, after you hang up.
I have to see it to believe it.

Sure, honey. Big kiss.

I'll call you tomorrow
at breakfast to catch everyone.

And send me the photo.
- Sure, darling.

You have to cooperate.

No!

If you cooperate,
you can go to bed

- without dinner.
- Well, okay.

Okay.

- Okay, can I go now?
- That's what you think.

I heard you sell out quickly.

But dad's been in politics
much longer than you.

That's her.

How did he do it?

I can't do it even putting on
"Night of the Living Dead."

How are they?

They're just great.

It sucks, huh?

What sucked was checking in.

They'd given us separate rooms,
can you believe that?

Really?

But I fought with them
and said no way.

Let's go to the room,
I'm exhausted.

What? No way. We have to stay up
to adapt to the time change.

Or we'll be tired
the whole week.

So let's hit the beach.
It'll be great, you'll see.

She won't even change.

How boring!

Have fun, you only live twice.

This life and the one that isn't a life.

You're falling asleep!
Come on, wake up!

- Look at those guys!
- Carmen, please.

They look like creepy weirdos.

You're right. Let's go.

Finally, to bed!

No, the bar. I've been herehalf
an hour and I've only had 2 mojitos.

What fun!

Sir.

Sir.

Sir, it's 7:30.

TUESDAY 7:30 AM
5 DAYS BEFORE MOM GETS BACK

I fell asleep.

Reading the mom chat,
I had 18 messages left.

225 again?

What time do these women
get up...?

GET WELL SOON
GET WELL SOON

Why do they answer

saying the same thing?

Make it stop, please.

I'll make breakfast, you wake the kids
and dress Paulita. Good luck with that.

Hey, why me?

Look, I understand that you don't
know how this family works,

but this is how things
have always been done here.

Rosaura, wait.

Let's enjoy the silence
for a moment.

GET WELL SOON
GET WELL SOON

Okay, that's enough.
Let's go.

With energy, this is going to be
like "The Sound of Music."

If Captain Trapp

could handle six,
I can handle 5.

You're nothing like Captain Trapp.

You're not exactly Julie Andrews
either.

GET WELL SOON

GET WELL SOON

GET WELL SOON

Why hasn't this jerk said
"get well soon" yet?

He has no idea how this works.

He'll be a social outcast.

Don't you dare answer
that chat.

I'm confiscating your cell phone
right now. You came here

to show Javier how to do it
alone.

To relax. So come on,

get dressed.

Dressed for what?

To go out and party.

We're on vacation.

I've been holding out all day
so we can adapt

to the jet lag
and now you want to party?

Jet lag? What'sthat?
A cocktail? I'll have to try one.

Get dressed.

This is adorable.

Carmen, that's not mine.

So it was the lady's suitcase!

You won the trade,
you're always a mess.

- Hi, Dad.
- Good morning, sweetie.

- Dad, you have to put my hair up.
- Right now, sweetie.

Come on, Sara.

Get up.

Morning cheer!

Good morning.

Get up, Dani.
Don't be lazy.

I have to wake up
and dress Paulita.

What?

Damn, not even with headphones!

When is Mom coming back?

My tooth fell out, my tooth fell out!

Damn, how gross.

Here, we'll filter it out.

Rosaura, will you put my hair up?

Right now.

What's wrong with the pink panties?
They're for Tuesday.

No, I want the blue ones!

But the blue ones
are for Thursday.

We need a little order
amid all this chaos.

What are you doing?

Sweetie...

You ruined the pig tails
I made you!

Beast!

Okay, okay, okay!

Wear whatever you want.

But don't complain if I give you
a cashew instead of a gevuina.

Dad, is the Tooth Fairy
coming tonight?

Did you find the tooth?
If not, she won't come.

Yeah, it was in the cereal bowl.

Sure, since it was a milk tooth.

Dad, which is better
for the Top Singers audition:

"Se me enamora El Alma"
or "Marinero de Iuces"?

I think "The Sound of Silence"
would be perfect.

By "Seemon" and Garfunkel.

It's pronounced "Simon."

What are you doing?

Stop already!
Always fighting!

Keep it down, please!

- He has my music!
- Give it back.

- Dad?
- What?

What does masturbate mean?

It was nothing.

- Sorry, I didn't see you.
- Well.

Marisa's husband.

- How's it going?
- Fine.

It's going just fine.

I looked for the costume
in the chat and couldn't find it.

Do you know what
the costume is?

No, because Paulita
is a blue chick

and mine's a green chick.

What does that mean?

They don't tell us
so the kids won't feel bad.

If you don't know either,
why do you say that?

Because I can imagine.

But don't worry,

you'll have no problem
dressing her up.

Come on, sweetie.

Hold on, I'm going to talk
to Marisa.

Cancún is such a blast!

Cheer up, that dress may be cute

but you'll get nowhere
with that attitude.

Did you see the guys I met?

They're from Murcia.
Come over.

Mine's the tall one.

The sleazy guys from the beach!

The creepy weirdos?

Why do they look to me
like middle-aged sex symbols?

I'll drink yours
and in a little while

they'll be young hunks.

Look, I'm going to the room.

If I get lucky,
I'll be right there.

Hey, you can't bring a guy
to the room.

Please!
Who do you take me for?

Here...

Hold this for me.

Murcia, what a sight!

- How is Friday coming along?
- Oh, great.

It's almost ready.

I was up all night preparing.

I can tell.

Chin up.

A lot is at stake.

Thanks, Miguel.

Hi.

Hi.

Good afternoon.
Paulita, go with Daddy.

How do I have
to dress her up Friday?

Paulita? As a tree.

A tree, how easy.

They're all going as trees?

No, ours are fairies.

- Why?
- We're doing a kids adaption

of Shakespeare's
"Midsummer Night's Dream."

In English.

And since Paulita
doesn't speak well...

But Paulita speaks Spanish
like it's English.

Isn't that right?

Yes.

- Right.
- She'll be an adorable tree.

Come on, sweetie.

PABLO LEFT HIS SWEATER.
DOES ANYONE HAVE IT?

- I DON'T.
- ME NEITHER.

ME NEITHER.

You're not answering?

If I don't, that means no, right?

ME NEITHER

Oh, my God!

They're a sect.

Oh, thank God!

What did we say
about the cell phone?

Give me that.

What have you done?

I know you said not to bring
a guy back...

Good morning.

So I brought two.

My shirt.

Come on, kids!
Get in the car!

One, two, three, four

and five. Let's go.

- Dad...
- Dad, please, hurry up.

I have a project.

Hey, that's enough mayhem
back there!

Who is this kid?

I told you, he's not ours.

Why did you get in?

I'll get out if you want.

No, I'm talking to the kid.
Why did you get in the car?

You said "Kids, get in the car."

Come on.

Today you're going to flip.
I have everything under control.

Your stop, Miss Sara.

Your friend Ana's for your group
project. Front door service.

Okay, thanks.

Kids, next stop.

Dani, your stop.

This is the pool.
I have basketball.

- Who had swimming?
- Paulita.

And where is Paulita?

I'll pick her up in an hour.
And she has mollusks.

Keep the others out of the pool.

What are you talking about?
Hey!

Okay, Rocío. Dance class.

This morning you said
I had tennis.

What? Do you even play tennis?

No, but you sounded so sure.

Dad!

The Tooth Fairy is coming tonight!

Yeah, yeah.

- Dad.
- What?

With all the kids in the world,

how does the Tooth Fairy

give them all money

on the same night?

Well, she uses her super powers.

- Super speed.
- Dad.

Don't lie to him.
If she can travel around

the world in one night,
it's because of the time change.

That's right, you see?

Carlota is very smart.

My soul is in love,
in love...

Rocío, what did I say
about singing here?

The audition is Friday.

- What audition?
- Top Singers Kids, I told you yesterday.

And I said I wasn't taking you.

But it's my dream. And my therapist

says we can make
all our dreams come true.

That's not true, I dream about
you shutting up and it never happens.

What about Carlota?

She's unbearable too,
but at least it's classical music.

What?

Paula's on top of Dani
trying to color his other eye!

Oh, God!

Paulita, put that pen down
right now.

Separate them!

No. Get off your brother
without me intervening.

No!

- She said no.
- I got that, thanks.

Paulita, either let go of the pen...

- Please.
- I have your baby.

I'll rip off his head.
Translate.

- She understands you.
- Oh, right.

I'm going to count to three.

Let go of the pen
and I'll let go of the baby. On three.

One,

two, three.

Stop!

- Stop!
- Good lord.

Stop!

It's over, let's go.

To your room. I'm telling
the Tooth Fairy not to come tonight.

- Why?
- Because you misbehaved.

But she started it. Besides,

Santa Claus is the one who
doesn't come if you misbehave.

He's right, the Tooth Fairy
is a business.

Teeth for money.

It's not manipulative
like Santa Claus.

God, now what?

HI! HAS ANYONE FOUND
THE PINK UNICORN CAP

MARÍA LEFT IN GYM CLASS?

NOT ME!

ME NEITHER!

"No, I don't have
the pink unicorn cap

María left in Gym class."

Is this it?

Was.

WEDNESDAY 8:00 AM
4 DAYS BEFORE MOM GETS BACK

Today we're going to nail it,
just like the Trapp family.

Do you like trap music?

I love it.

Doe, a deer, a female, deer.
Ray, a drop of golden sun.

Me, a name I call myself.

Far, a long, long way to run...

What? I mean Bad Bunny.

The rabbit?

Bad Bunny, the trapper.

What trapper?

You know what a trapper is?

Sure, a guy who traps animals.

But you said you like trap music.

Trap is a musical genre
that mixes

rap and reggaeton.

I can't find it!

What?

The Tooth Fairy money.

Did you call her
and say not to come?

No.

Something must have come up.
Like you said,

a lot of teeth fall out
every day in this world.

She's overworked.
I'm sure she'll come tonight.

- You think so?
- Sure, son. Eat breakfast.

I'll clean up the bedrooms.

Let's see our plan for today.

"Warning, birthday in Dani's class."
Warning?

Because the birthday is Friday.

So what do we have to do
today?

Deposit the money for the gift
in the bank account.

A bank account?
Like a wedding?

Not one, four.

It's for all the birthdays
this month.

Where will I find
those account numbers?

In the ducky chat.

I think I'm going to end up
shooting myself.

Dad, what does masturbate mean?

Not again.

Okay, you see your cereal?

Sometimes blind fishermen
use cereal as fishing bait.

And they call it "master bait."

Sure, that's why they say
if you masturbate you go blind.

Okay, I made the money transfers.

Thanks, Sandra, I owe you one.
I'm in a jam.

Don't worry, just get everything
done for Friday...

- What's Friday?
- The app for the client.

Oh, that. I'm working on something
much bigger.

It will revolutionize

the world of parenting
as we know it.

Sandra, forget Siri.

Meet Conchi.

Watch. Conchi,

what have we got later?

Take Rocío to her therapist
at 6.

And here's what's really
revolutionary about it. Look.

I've been checking stats

and there are 4 possible answers
to almost any message in a mom chat.

When a child is sick,
"get well soon."

When a child forgets their sweater,

"I don't have it either."

When they upload a photo,
the applause icon.

And to a birthday invitation,
"mine can't go."

Conchi identifies these messages
and answers automatically.

Look, now you can see Conchi
in action. Watch.

I'm not doing anything.

See?

And Conchi identifies and erases
unnecessary messages all by herself.

Incredible.

Now I only have to teach her
to answer my son's questions.

Dad, can I ask another question?

As long as it isn't
"Where do babies come from?"

What babies?

Babies are coming? When?

- What time?
- Nobody's coming.

Why not?

Because there are plenty of us.

I meant where babies come from,
how you make them, you idiots.

Where do they come from?

Now I'm the idiot.

From Paris, dummy.

That's right.
Very nice, Carlota.

So we're all born French?
When do we turn Spanish?

Right away, as soon as we get here.

Is the Tooth Fairy from Paris too?

Does "Tooth Fairy" sound French to you?

- She's English?
- Sure.

That's why she was late
and had to leave it for later.

Next stop, Rocío's therapist.

Good, because I have a thing or two
to tell that two-bit Paolo Coelho.

My daughter is driving me nuts
with some TV audition

because you said she can do
anything she sets her mind to.

Children need to be taught
self-esteem

so they become confident adults.

But you've never heard her sing.

Rocío, sing for the gentlemen.

My soul is in love,

in love...

That doesn't matter.

According to modern
child psychology, my goal...

Your goal is for me to take her
to the audition, she'll be traumatized

and you'll have a client for life.
Nice racket you've got here.

Stop bringing her.

And what do I do with her
on Wednesdays from 6 to 7?

No, you can keep her for now.

See you later.

Rocío, don't listen to your father.

His generation doesn't...

They don't get it.
And you're a good singer.

You'll go far.

Take it from me.

- What is that?
- The Tooth Fairy.

She was out partying
and got turned into a mouse.

Now we've got her,
don't let her go until she pays up.

Okay, cool.

You were right, 24 hours

with my cell phone confiscated and...

I feel so relaxed.

It's been proven scientifically,
if you can hold off 24 hours

without speaking to your kids,

you'll never miss them
ever again.

It's just that no mother does it.

- What are you doing?
- The creepy weirdos.

They almost saw us!
I'm so ashamed.

It's just that booze
confuses me at night.

Don't torture yourself,
it won't happen again.

Yeah, I'll let you pick
the next guy for me.

- Me?
- There's quality on this beach.

You see that guy who looks
just like Denzel Washington?

Which one?

The black one?

Yeah.

He was making eyes at you.

- Really?
- Yeah. Go talk to him.

Answer it, answer it!

Answer it!

Dani, how gross.
Learn to use the toilet brush.

My wife leaves
and they forget the basics.

You haven't realized all this started
when your wife left?

Figure it out.

Kids, it's your mother.
Video call.

Paulita, come here.

Hi!

- Hi!
- How are you?

Great, I haven't got long.
How is everything?

Great!

Great!
- I knew it!

It looks like it got cut off.

By the way, she has lice.

Damn...

Okay, here.

No more. The more I call them,
the closer and happier they get.

I'm going to enjoy my freedom,
I only have 4 days left.

Finally, that's what I like to hear.

Just let me check the Madrid chat
after each meal.

- But...
- I can't quit cold turkey.

Okay, but you have to go all out.

Okay.

Two mojitos!

And two for my sister-in-law!

That's me...

Dad, can you quiz me
on the parts of the flower?

Let your brother,
he loves asking questions.

Please...

Okay, what are the parts
of the flower?

What? They've always been
the petal, stem and pistil.

But the school is bilingual
and Science is in English.

Then how should I know
if you said it right? Did you say "tallo"?

I don't know what that means.

The long part at the base.

They call it bilingual
and you can't speak Spanish?

And if it's bilingual,
she should be singing the Beatles.

Fire in my eyes.

- A carnation in my hair.
- Can't you study

- like your sister?
- I have to rehearse for the audition.

I told you I'm not taking you.

Why not?

How can I make you understand?

So far you just don't seem to...

Your name isn't María,
you're not from Cordoba,

there's no fire in your eyes.
You're 8 years old,

a little embarrassing
and can't sing.

At least she has a reason
to be upset, not her soul in love.

She's got Pantoja's repertoire
stuck in my mind.

- Unbelievable.
- Dad.

Does the Tooth Fairy
have a family?

Why?

Because now that we've caught him,

- we could sell him back.
- Even if he does,

there would be so many
they'd be hard to find.

If we put out 11 slices of cheese...

- Rosaura!
- What?

Can you watch the kids
for a little while?

I have to turn in something
important on Friday

and I don't know
what you do here.

Missing my kids' childhood
so you could miss yours.

Busted!

Dear followers, today

I'm going to explain how to put on
porcelain nails.

Sara, dinner!

Coming!

What a pain.

You're scratching too?
Good lord.

Why's your hair down?
Lice too?

No, I don't want to sing folk
after what you said.

Very smart, sweetie.

I want to beblack,
they sing great.

But you can't be black.

Why not? A woman can be
whatever she wants nowadays.

That's not it, smartypants.

Dani's a boy and he can't either.

Now why are you arguing?

Dad won't let us be black.

I'll call Mom,
I'm sure she'll let us.

Don't call your mom,
she's on vacation.

Get the carnation
and I'll do your hair.

Okay!

Paulita, pick up your fork.

No.

Paula, don't start like every night.
Pick up your fork.

No.

Look.

What is this? It's awful?

Sara did it.

Take these off your sister
right now.

I already tried but I can't.

The glue is too strong.

I like it, I want to be Feli Kuler.

Feli Kuler? What is that?

She said she wants to be
Freddy Kruger.

Should we try to cut them at least?

No, we can use her
to until we delouse.

Please. Come on, let's go.
What a disgrace.

THURSDAY 8:00 AM
3 DAYS BEFORE MOM GETS BACK

Unbelievable.

Taking us to school with lice.
We should be in quarantine.

Our appointment is at five

and you can't stay home.

I need the day to work
without interruptions.

How much to not scratch ourselves?

What I said, 25 cents an hour.

What a day, the Tooth Fairy
finally pays up

and now this.

Let's synchronize our watches.

Dad, you're the only one
with a watch.

And it's a wind-up.

Never mind, at 5 o'clock sharp,
everyone here. Until then,

not a word to give us away.

Okay? Last group scratch.

The clock starts... now.

Anything salty!

We'll eat anything salty
you've got!

We'll even munch on your peanuts.

Give me another mojito.

Ma'am, I think you've had
enough to drink.

No! And you know why?

Because you still look
butt ugly to me!

So keep serving me

until you look like Brad Pitt.

Right now you look like
a chubby cook, so you're almost there.

You should go to bed.

Yeah, right, at 5 in the morning.
You're nuts.

It's 5 in the morning?

Give me my cell phone,
I forgot to check

the dinnertime mother chat.

You are such a pain
with your cell phone.

Here, go on.

Thanks.

What did this animal post?

I feel dizzy.

Excuse me, but your phone
hasn't beeped for a while.

Did you silence the mother chat?

No, it's okay, Rosaura.

I created an app that answers
for me automatically.

Someone posted a photo and the app
answered with applause and cheers.

That photo is an obituary.
The gym teacher died.

Well, the app still needs
a little work.

HEAD LICE REMOVAL CENTER

Damn!

455 euros to delouse us all.

I should have negotiated
directly with the lice.

I'll take this out of your salary.

What?

Not all of it, I'm not that cheap.

You're going to charge me
for getting lice in your house?

It's your fault.

You always say you never
take anything that's not yours.

Look what I've got, Dad.

What a brute!

I thought that since we have
the Tooth Fairy,

we can make a little money.

Here's the situation.

I have the Tooth Fairy
in my power.

Really?

From now on,
give me your teeth.

What?

I'll bring you the money
the next day.

For a tiny cut, of course.

Right now these are all I have

but there are 4 about to fall out.
I'll make a killing.

Good lord.

The teeth are going to cost me
more than the lice.

I'm done, time to go.

I can't come tomorrow,
I have the doctor.

I give you an inch and you take a mile.
I even paid for your lice.

I'm sorry, I have my rights.

Really? After I paid to delouse you?

You know what?
I've had enough.

- I quit.
- Oh, sure.

Now that you've been deloused.

You're unbelievable.

Kids, tonight I'm going
to perfect the app

and we won't need her
anymore.

Now let's go to bed.

By the way, I'm sleeping out
tomorrow night.

What?

You're 13, not 36. Where do
you think you're going?

To the Bad Bunny concert.

No way, especially after
what you did to Paulita.

It took 4 hours
to get those nails off.

Stay out of trouble.

I pierced her tongue
and you didn't even notice.

What?

How awful.

What are you doing?

Learning sign language?

No, I'm doing a Tik Tok.

What's that?

- Never mind.
- Why don't you play some

Bad Bunny for me?
I want to hear him sing.

Really?

My kids are the most important
people in my life.

I want to understand you.

If you like it, it must be good.

Bad Bunny.

Follow your path,

without you I'm "betta."

Other ladies do me "betta."

I was a bastard before, I...

Look, I won't go into
the message, which is deep,

or that he pronounces
worse than Paulita.

How can you like someone

who rhymes "betta" with "betta"?

I knew it.
You don't understand.

Understand what?
He doesn't vocalize.

Don't insult him, he's the most
important person in my life.

You don't even know him.

Dad, you just said that I'm
the most important person in your life.

And you don't know me either.

Busted!

Can you stop saying that already?

Sara!

Sara, I understand you
better than you think.

It's a fragile moment in your life.

Not a little girl, not a woman,
your chest growing,

your face full of zits,
your nose swollen...

My nose is swollen?

Yeah, sweetie.
Did you think we hadn't noticed?

Then I'll never come out again!

Nice going.

Wait, is this a trick so I won't go
to the concert?

Of course not.

It's puberty, I would never
lie to you about this.

If you don't believe me,
look at your moustache.

What?

FRIDAY 8:27 AM
2 DAYS BEFORE MOM GETS BACK

- Yes?
- Where the fuck are you?

I overslept, working late.
But don't worry.

The system went
into production at 8.

It's a disaster. I called a meeting
with the clients in one hour.

Get your ass over here.

Paulita, wake up. Come on.

- What?
- You have to get dressed.

"Twee, twee."

- What?
- "Twee."

- "Twee." The tree costume!
- Yeah.

I forgot.
It's not going to happen.

Don't start, don't start.

This is Paula García Loyola's father,
she has to miss the school play.

She has chicken pox.

That's a lie!
Help, help!

Shut up! You pronounce perfectly
when you want to.

No more speech therapy.

Dad, the Tooth Fairy
didn't pay for my friends' teeth.

Son, she must have a lot
of other things going on.

But if I don't take the money,
no more teeth.

You want a piece of the action?

Just front me the money for today.

Sorry, you're not going
to school today.

But I can't start a business
and miss the first day.

That doesn't inspire confidence.

Too bad, I'll be back in 2 hours.

Dad.

You're leaving us here?

No time to take you to school
and I can't leave Paulita alone.

But Dad.

You can't leave us alone
without an adult. I'm calling Mom.

No, don't call your mom.

Okay, I'll find you an adult.

Paco, I need you to come over
and stay for 10 minutes.

I can't leave right now.

What? You have 9 employees.

I have a business to run,
if I leave it has to be for that.

If you want to see me,
order a pizza.

What a cheapskate!
Whatever, just come now.

Okay, but what toppings.

Large barbecue.

But I have to go to the audition.

I'm calling Mom.

No way, Rocío.
Mom is on vacation.

If anyone calls your mother...

Paco, it's about time.
Come in.

What's going on?

- You have to stay with them.
- What are you doing?

I'll be back in an hour, two tops!

What? I have a business to run!

It's an emergency!

You can't lock us in here!

- There's a key in the tray!
- Dad!

I won't leave you alone here,

but I have a business to run.

Tell me about it.

It's a disaster. You've uploaded
the wrong catalog

into the system
with incorrect prices.

Products are being sold
in all our stores

at the wrong prices.
It's chaos.

Can you explain what happened?

I developed my part
following the correct

specifications,
so don't look at me.

It wasn't me, my design
perfectly follows the client's needs.

Well, top-quality ham
has been selling for 1.50.

Javier, you're the project leader.

What's up?

Well,

implementing this app is complex
and there are lots of factors.

And I should have known
that a new app

can't be hooked to a PTVS if...

If your wife takes a trip
and leaves you alone with 5 kids.

I was convinced that

I could do it all,
but there was no way. I don't know

if you have children,

but it was over my head.

I didn't want to admit
I couldn't do everything

and I screwed up.

I don't know what to say.

I'm ashamed.

I'll resign as project leader
and leave the company

for all of the serious damage
I've caused.

This is where inthe movies
they stop you and say:

"Don't go, the company
won't be the same without you."

Right?

Okay, then. I'll go.

- Uncle Paco.
- What?

If a Chinese person bites you,
do you turn Chinese?

No, Chinese people
aren't like zombies.

But can there be Chinese zombies?

Sure, if a zombie bites one,
he'll be a Chinese zombie.

What if a Chinese zombie
bites me?

Then you'll be a zombie,
but not Chinese.

- Why?
- Because nobody turns Chinese.

Oh, okay.

Logic isn't your thing, huh?

Why do you care?
Did a Chinese person bite you?

- Yeah.
- Damn, that's a big bite.

His parents are from here,
so he's not Chinese, Chinese.

Not Chinese, Chinese?

I think he's adapted.

- Adopted.
- Right.

Don't worry,
you won't turn Chinese.

Okay, but I'm not going
to his birthday party.

No wonder, if he bit you.

No, because I owe him money.

What for?

It's a long story. Wanna hear it?

Javi, what happened?

- I'm leaving.
- You got fired?

Pretty much. I'm going to see
if I can fix

what really matters in life.
What a phrase.

I think I've seen too many movies.

How can the Tooth Fairy bring you
money if she's locked in a cage?

- Where will she get it?
- That's true.

You think she can make money
like she's laying an egg?

Uncle Paco,

can you call our mother?
We need to talk to her.

Yeah, but it's 5 AM there.

I'll send Aunt Carmen a message
to call us when they wake up.

They're probably still in bed.

Don't you ever get tired?

We've been partying
for 36 hours straight.

What time is it? I'll check.

"Message from Paco."
Who's Paco?

Your husband.

It's for you.

- For me?
- Yeah.

For you.

TELL MARISA TO CALL HER KIDS

Uncle Paco, look.

I picked a song for the audition.

My soul is in love,
in love...

Uncle Paco,
I let the Tooth Fairy go.

Why did you let her go?

So she can get the money.

What? You think she'll come back?

Sure, I didn't give her
the teeth, I'm not stupid.

Mom, if you're there,
show yourself.

What are you doing?

We're trying to contact Mom.

With a Ouija?

Dad took our cell phones away.

And you lit a candle,
that's dangerous.

Uncle Paco, don't step on
the Tooth Fairy!

Uncle Paco, are you okay?

The curtains!

The curtains!

The fire is lit...

The fire is lit...

The fire is lit...

The wood burns!

Fire!

Fire!

Fire!

Uncle Paco, do something!

Do something!
It's burning!

I'm back.

What happened?

What have you done?

What?
Just what I needed.

Pay for the pizza,
I'm out of here.

What a gang.

Sara, you're the eldest.
What happened?

I have no idea.
I was waxing my moustache.

Waxing? Because of what I said?

I let the Tooth Fairy go...

He came running,
we got spooked,

the candle tipped over

and the curtains caught fire.

A candle? What for?

To do a Ouija and contact Mom.

But Mom isn't dead.

But she'll die when she sees this.

Are you going to kill us?

No, sweetie, no.

Your mom is going to kill me.

All of this is my fault.

If I hadn't said Sara has
a moustache,

if I hadn't kidnapped
the Tooth Fairy

or kept you from talking to your mother,
none of this would have happened.

But you did okay with the rest.

Yeah, I did great.

I got angry with the principal,
the therapist and Uncle Paco.

And with 100 mothers
and 8 fathers

in chick chats of every color.

But at work you're okay, right?

Fantastic, I got fired.

Really?

But the worst thing, where your mom
will kill me, is we lost Rosaura.

And she even said she'd rather
lose me to another woman than Rosaura.

Don't be sad, Dad.

I'll find the Tooth Fairy.

When she pays up,
we can buy new curtains.

Dad, when I said Bad Bunny was
the most important person in my life,

I lied.

He's the third.

Mom is the first,

and the second

is Rubius.

The youtuber.
He has an event today

with his fans.
Will you take me?

What about the trapper concert?

You were right, it makes no sense
to love someone you've never met.

That's why I want to meet Rubius.

Just for the pleasure of hearing
you say the words "You were right,"

I'll take you.

- And we have to get Rosaura back.
- Yes.

We have to get Rosaura back.
And we will.

And can I try out for the audition?

No, sweetie.

You can't try out.

You can win the audition
because we will.

And we'll take Paulita
to her school play.

Yay!

You'll be the prettiest tree
in the whole world.

Yippee!

Dani, masking tape.

Sara, bring me a green sweater
and you guys bring parsley.

Is this the best tree
in the whole world or what?

- Yeah!
- Well...

It's your mother!

- Hi, sweetie!
- Hi, Mom!

Hi, Mom. I learned a new song!

And I did well on my exam!

And one of my teeth fell out!

Be quiet and let Mom talk.

You all look so great.
I can't wait to see you.

Hey, where's Paulita?

She's taking a siesta.

You got Paulita to take a siesta?
Now that's amazing.

You're doing so well I hate it.
Maybe I should stay here.

Don't say that, we can't wait
to see you on Monday.

Yeah, it's only two more days.

Be good. I've got to go,
I'm having a massage.

- I love you!
- Bye!

I knew something was wrong
after my brother-in-law's message.

But it's worse than I thought.

This postcard of the perfect
family proves it.

I'm sorry, I have to cut in line.

Excuse me, I need to get on
the next plane to Spain because

my mother just died.

I'm sorry, that's impossible.

I understand, but I had to try.

Besides, I'm lying.

It's my husband.
He's alone with the kids.

What?

You should have said so,
there's a plane about to take off.

I'll stop it.

Thank you!

We made it in time
for Paulita's big debut

as the starring tree.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we're sorry but we have
to suspend the performance.

One of our students

whose father called
to say she had chicken pox

has shown up at the center.

Apparently

the father thought wrapping her

in masking tape would
be protection enough.

But we've decided to evacuate

the children to avoid
an epidemic.

No, it's okay, it's just mollusks.

No...

What a mess.
Where now, Conchi?

Next stop,
Dani's birthday party.

Dad, I can't go,
I owe the Chinese kid money.

He owes me more,
I transferred a lot of cash.

You're going.

Don't hide, Dani.
We'll find you.

Take it easy.

The Tooth Fairy got away

without paying up,

but I'll pay you guys back,
I promise.

How?

In teeth. I'll give you mine
when they fall out.

And you can get the money.

You'd better.

Dad, we've been waiting 2 hours.
We'll miss the Rubius event.

It's okay, it's our turn now.

204,

- Rocío García.
- Let's go.

- Watch Paulita.
- Good luck.

Perfect.

What a cute little girl!
What's your name?

Rocío.

Rocío García.

Rocío,

what are you going to sing,
gorgeous?

"My soul is in love."

A wonderful song.

Good luck, princess.
I'll put on your track.

The stage is yours, enjoy it.

Okay, you missed the opening.

That's okay.

You're just nervous.

You get a second chance.

Relax and have fun.

My soul is in love,

in love.

Every time I see you...

turn the corner.

You smell like basil
and chamomile.

The moon lights up
when you look at me.

It's getting late.

Laughing and sobbing,

life has gone away.

I dream about him,

squinting at the night.

You, living with someone
you never loved.

The fire is lit.

The fire is lit.

The fire is lit.

The wood burns.

Burns, burns, burns.

Thanks, Dad.

You were right.

Seen from outside,
all this is pathetic.

Rocío,

we'll call you.

- Not the dad.
- No, no.

Obviously.

Thank you.

How did it go?

We're going to miss it.

We have 10 minutes.
Come on, let's hurry up.

Come on, you'll make it.

We'll wait here.

Dad, Dad.

That's Rubius.

Yeah, that's him.

Rubius, excuse me.
My daughter Sara

is a huge fan of yours

and we're a little late.

Can you wait a minute?

The event is over, I'm sorry.

Just 2 minutes. Rubius!

He left.

We saw him leave out the back door.

I don't believe you.

It's true.

I have a surprise,
a present for you.

He threw away half a burger
and I grabbed it for you.

Dad, I would die for him!
You took it out of the trash?

It's the best gift anyone
ever gave me.

Are you lame?

Dad bought a burger
and bit it himself.

What? Damn it, Dad!

How gross!

Carlota, what a tattletale!

Sorry.

Let's go.

One second, I don't like
to leave a fan hanging.

Rubius, Rubius!

Who wants a photo?

Who wants a photo?

Dad, take a pic!

Photo!

Here, let me take it.
We'll do a selfie.

Bam, bam.

Cheese!

There you go.

Thank you so much.

I don't know how to thank you.

Yeah, great. 50 euros.

- Yeah.
- Really?

Yeah, this YouTube shit
isn't what it was.

Thanks a lot.

Thank you.

Anything for my fans.

- Bye, girls!
- Bye!

Okay, girls, back to the car.

Conchi, what's next?

Operation "Get Rosaura Back."

I have a plan that can't fail.
She won't be able to resist.

Paco, I need a favor.

Another favor?

You don't have to do anything
this time.

Yeah, sounds familiar.

I only need your 3 Mexican
delivery boys.

Oh, just 3 delivery boys.

If you wantmy delivery boys,
order some pizzas.

Okay, whatever,
but I need them now.

Your uncle is unbelievable.
It's pizza time.

Yay!

This is the serenade
King David sang

to pretty girls
and we sing it for you.

Wake up, my darling,

here comes the sun.

The birds are singing
and the moon has gone.

Thanks, boys.

I'll settle the pizza account
with my brother.

You brought mariachis.

I wanted to apologize.
You people like this stuff.

Us people from where?

From where you come from.

Who are we?
Those men are Mexican

and I'm Peruvian.
It's not the same, you know.

That sounded a little racist.

Please.

Rosaura, I'm joking, I'm sorry.

I also wanted to give you this gift.

It's a ticket to Peru

so you can see your children.
Please, take it

and go home.

Rosaura, the living room caught fire.

The house is a disaster
and my wife gets back in 2 days.

We're lost without you.

Will you come back?

No.

What a disaster.

I don't know how we'll fix this
before Mom gets back.

When is she getting back?

In one hour.

Thank you.

I hope it's not too late.

It's okay, we have 2 more days.

Today this team

has failed at every mission
we've tried.

But what matters
is we're all together.

Dad, we're missing Dani.

Shit!

I forgot to pick him up.

The play center will be closed by now.

I never thought it would come to this.

"Does anyone have Dani's sweater
we forgot...

with Dani still wearing it?"

Sorry.

Thanks for holding onto him.

Take him away, he's been fighting
with mine all afternoon.

He's yours too?
I thought only the girl.

He's adapted.

What a monster!
Like father, like son.

Look, my son is wonderful.
He's sensitive and smart.

The fact that all parents
aren't as perfect as you

doesn't mean
we don't love our kids.

Spare me, I have a headache.

You've been drinking all day.

What? That Chinese kid is a liar.

Mom, he told the truth.

Time for fucking bed!

I don't understand why
you don't get along with that kid.

Why do you always fight with him?

Because I like him.

What?

We can't have that, son.

Never hit the people you like.

Okay.

- And people I don't like?
- Neither.

- Then who can I hit?
- Nobody.

Nobody?

Hi!

Surprise! I'm home!

You're back!

- I thought you got back Monday!
- You all look great!

What are you wearing?

I made matching dresses
with the old curtains

you wanted to change.

To protect their clothing.

Like in "The Sound of Music."
What a surprise.

Where's Dad? And Dani?

Here they come.

Sir, look who's here.

What are you doing here?

I thought you got back on Monday.

Well...

Imissed you all too much.

Actually I thought you were in trouble.

Now I feel ridiculous.

You managed the house
and your job.

You were right, I'm the one
who can't handle everything.

You don't have to, from now on,
we'll do everything halfway.

Really?

Look, even better.

I'll quit my job
and stay home.

I can't believe it.

I can do both.

It's possible.

But right now, what I want

is to enjoy my family.

Thank you.

Come on, you must have
a lot to tell me.

Rosaura...

I don't know how to thank you.

And I don't know how she didn't
smell the paint on the walls.

I think she didn't want to.

Yeah, right?

She's too smart.

None of this would have been
possible without you.

I'm so glad I bought you
the ticket to see your kids in Peru.

I have to confess
I don't have kids.

Okay, you tricked me.
To see the rest of your family then.

No, thanks.
I already changed the ticket.

I got a ticket to the Maldives.

Great. I'm the only one
who doesn't go anywhere.

That was Thursday.

On Friday my sister-in-law
took off and left me alone.

Alone! Can you believe that?

Well, not alone.

First I humped a couple of
middle-aged Spanish actors

and then I banged the bartender
at the nightclub

who looked just like Brad Pitt.
How about that?

Okay.

Shut up, this is the scene
I missed at the end of the flight over.

The end of the movie.

Paulita...

- Okay, everyone ready?
- Yes.

Ready for a good day?
Let me see you.

Let's see... Group hug.

Conchi, remind me what to buy
at the supermarket.

Conchi, where next?

I'm crazy about it.
I love it.

I don't know how I lived
without Conchi before.

Whoever created her
will make a fortune.

It's complete bullshit.
See you later.

What's up, Sandra?

Javier, what a hit!

On Friday after you left I uploaded
your app to Google Play and Apple Store

and we have over 20,000 downloads.

We went viral!

Can you fucking believe it?

What?

Viral!

Conchi, are we out of wine?

Isn't it a bit early for that?

Conchi, don't start!

When I feel good,
the frying pan doesn't stick.

I make a perfect omelet.

I hug you tighter because it's cold.
The house is dirty, try a hotel.

I feel good, the music inspires me.

Merengue, bachata,
your sleepy voice.

I make poetry in four words.
I light up the night

and make the days longer.
I can read your mind,

fix everyone's problems.

I sing my way around the world.

In one second, I ignite the sun.

I smile at you and change your life.
Today I'm your lottery.

Today it's me.

How lucky to have you,

the sun rises
and you say I love you.

I love you so much

it shakes the whole universe.

When I feel good,
I park anywhere.

I always paint red lights green.

I give you good luck
so you have agreat day.

I have a degree in love and cheer.

I feel good, it smells like spring.

Mint, cilantro

and your cinnamon skin.

I'll get you everything beautiful
in life so that you'll love me.

I can read your mind,
fix everyone's problems.

I sing my way around the world.
In one second, I light up the sun.

I smile at you
and change your life.

Today I'm your lottery.
Today's it's me.

How lucky to have you,

the sun rises
and you play along.

I love you so much

it shakes the whole universe.

I can fly and disappear,

sneak into your dreams,
sink and sew.

Abracadabra, now you see me,
now you don't.

I'm a genie without a lamp.

20 times stronger
and faster than you.

I'm always in a good mood.

I can read your mind,
fix everyone's problems.

How lucky to have you,

the sun rises
and you say I love you.

I love you so much

it shakes the whole universe.

How lucky to have you,

the sun rises
and you play along.

I love you so much

it shakes the whole universe.

- Sweetie.
- Hi!

Did you remember to ask the company
for time off for our trip?