Original subtitles

♪ Warriors for Hire are here ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ It's the name and career ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ For sleuthing siblings who quest ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ Which is what they do best ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ They have special tools ♪

♪ For which they are fools ♪

♪ These guys lose their mind when they collect and find ♪

♪ The Mighty Magi...swords ♪

Mighty Magiswords.

♪♪

Announcer: At Dr. Pizzazz's Medical Fun Tent! [ Chuckles ]

[ Beeping ]

You see, Mr. Pachydermus, you're suffering from what

we call Adult Onset Lowmusement Syndrome.

Just give it to me straight, Doc.

What is your current routine?

Work, work, and more work!

Mr. Pachydermus, your mind is weary from

work-induced stress.

May I suggest a bit of light reading?

"Pearls...of Wisdom?"

Any time you feel stressed, read a passage from that book.

It'll surely help you re-center yourself.

"I am the master of my fate.

I am the captain of my soul."

Oh, how dull.

Not exciting enough for you, huh?

Well, then, I believe what you're looking for

is good old-fashioned adventure!

Ooh! I have just the thing!

What in the world are you doing?

I bought you something.

And it's just what the doctor ordered.

"Warriors for Hire Fantasy Camp?!"

Isn't it swell?

Oh! Not the Warriors for Hire!

Not only are they horrible tenants,

but they could screw up a two-car funeral.

Ooh, those poor cars.

And if you think I'm going to leave my health

up to those two kids...

Well, there's always surgery!

[ Laughs ]

Oh, I think I'm going to faint.

Ooh.

What are you doing?

Well, I thought some theatrics might change your mind.

Oh!

And if I refuse that, too?

[ Monitor flat lining ]

Please, Dermykins.

Mwah! Do it for me?

[ Sighs ] Fine.

I'll do it for you.

Splendid! Just give this to your counselors,

and they'll know what to do.

Warriors for Hire Fantasy Camp.

Oh!

Together: Welcome to Warriors for Hire Fantasy Camp!

Oh! Hello!

Do you have a Grup-on for your camping experience?

Oh. Uh, of course.

Here you are. And this is my doctor's note.

Ooh, gee, thanks!

-Enjoy your experience! -Goodness me!

We never expected you, Mr. Pachydermus.

You can't have a fantasy camp here.

What about the insurance?!

Suppose someone gets injured during all your shenanigans.

[ Chuckles ] I guess we'll find out.

'Cause you're our first someone.

Ooh!

[ Coughs ]

"I automatically and joyfully focus on the positive."

[ Groans ]

Couldn't have said it better myself, Mr. P.

Besides, the campus isn't located here.

It's here!

Transylberia?

[ Gasps ] Whoa!

Allow us to introduce...

...the Warrior Fantasy Compound.

Aren't you excited?

I'm cold mostly.

We got that covered. Starwipe.

All right, Mr. P, what do you think of

your adventure-appropriate duds?

I look ridiculous!

Announcer: Instant photograph Magisword.

Oh, that one's going in the scrapbook.

Could we please get on with this?!

I...[ Coughs ]

"I am on the side of the angels."

I've always thought so, Mr. P.

Here at Warrior Fantasy Camp, we teach you how to

confront your problems like a true adventurer!

And how do I do that?

You see that vicious beast over there?

No, no, not that one. That one.

Now, show me how you'd confront it.

Very well.

You should get out of my way.

I'm very important.

Hmph. That's it.

Oh!

Okay. Now this time, let's try defeating it

with a Magisword.

Go ahead, Mr. P., take your pick.

-Fireworks Magisword. -Frog Missile Magisword.

-Exploding Bubble Magisword.

For a real go-getter.

Welp, here goes nothing.

[ Coughing ]

No matter. Let's dial it back a bit.

Dial it back.

I had a feeling this wasn't going to work...

[ Coughs ]

That's it! I'm...

Not leaving.

Doctor's orders, recamemba?

Why certainly, my dear.

I was just, uh, role playing.

That's all part of my training.

[ Chuckles ]

Well, enjoy yourself.

I'm going now. Goodbye.

Goodbye. [ Chuckles ]

[ Sighs ] What do we do now?

The key is to keep it simple.

Pick just one, deary.

Ha-ha. Snowball Magisword.

-Snowball Magisword! -That one's elementary.

Just point and shoot!

Fine. Let's just get this over with.

Once more! Harder this time!

[ Straining ]

Gah!

Hey, maybe there is something to this.

Announcer: 20 minutes later!

There is absolutely nothing to this.

-Ehh... -Ehh...

You kids got any more petty tasks for me?

Looks like somebody's ready to fight a boss monster.

Uh, b-b-b-buh boss?

Groundskeeper Grup.

Go ahead and fire up the first boss.

But that was supposed to be for day 5.

Don't worry. Mr. P is a natur-ale.

Right, Mr. P?

[ Chuckles ] One deadly beast coming up.

Born in the deepest, darkest ice floe,

now he hungers for his next victim.

Release the hydra of Transylberia!

[ Growling ]

[ Motor whirring stops ]

Oopsie.

[ Motor whirring restarts ]

Oh, very well.

I shall further indulge your ridiculous scenario.

Ooh! Oh!

[ Groans ]

"Everything that is happening now

is happening for my ultimate good."

[ Laughs ]

All right, you asked for it!

Huh? Guh!

Oh!

[ Gasping ]

This thing is clearly cheating!

[ Clears throat ] Now, now, Mr. P.

You're just ready to learn the next step

of Magiswordsmanship.

Choosing the correct Magisword for the job.

This boss is making you tense,

so maybe the key to beating him is to relax.

Announcer: Waffle Magisword!

How useless.

Runny Nose Magisword!

Ugh. What might this one be?

Droopy Clothes Magisword!

♪♪

Have at you, foul beast!

Ha-ha!

[ Squeaks ]

♪♪

[ Gasps ] Quick, get me something

to cut this guy down to size.

Huh. He's loinin'.

Announcer: Parrot Scissors Magisword!

Oh! Eh!

[ Trumpets ]

How about that?

I think he's ready for the thing.

He's not ready.

Really? I think he can handle it.

No, I mean I don't think Grup is ready.

Hey, Grup, how's it looking?

Uhh, well, I haven't had a chance to really test it yet.

I can handle anything you have.

Atta boy!

Born in the deepest, darkest drift of snow.

The Giant Snowmanpire!

Ugh. Now how am I supposed to be expected

to topple this giant pile?

In a Magisword battle, always remember --

the opponent's size doesn't really matter, but...

But...But what?

Warriors, your day of reckoning is finally at hand!

Ever since that fateful day two years ago

when I was trapped in a deep dark hole

during a random service call.

A hole that you made!

-Mm? -Hm?

Ya mean, you don't remember?

-Sorry. -Complete blank.

I can't believe you'd forget me.

I mean, like some sort of throwaway gag!

I'm gonna...

[ Chuckles ] Very, very good.

You guys really had me going with that --

that snowman gag.

You can hardly tell it's little Grup.

-[ Chuckles ] -Tell me what?

You want another Grup-on?

They only print 'em in batches of 2,000.

[ Groans ]

[ Chuckles ] How do you do?

Ah!

That's my roar! You like it?

What do you think of that?

[ Both whimpering ]

Announcer: Rad Rocket Magisword!

Oh, no you don't!

Prohyas! Ha!

Prohyas!

♪♪

Ready, Vambre? Ready, Prohyas.

One Big Hole Magisword!

The sword that put me in a bottomless pit!

Mechanical Mole Magisword!

Together: Super teamwork combo.

Hole-y Mole-y!

You'll be using none of those!

Actors have no manners these days.

D'oh!

-[ Laughs ] -Oh!

[ Vambre screams ]

Oh! Ow! Oh! Ow!

What are you doing?

Ooh!

[ Laughs ]

Your acting is absolutely terrible.

[ Grunts ]

Not this time you're not!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Were you looking for this?

Ah! Not again!

Hey, hey now, um,

let's, uh, let's not be too hasty here.

"I am content with all I have in my life,

and I'm letting go of my problem."

Curse you, elephant man!

[ Thud ] What am I supposed to do

down here during this indefinite hiatus?

Here. [ Chuckles ]

"I am one with the angels?"

[ Groans ]

You know, kids, I wasn't sure about

this little business of yours.

But I'm sold now.

So you feeling better after your adventure?

Why, these kids have worked wonders.

Well, you certainly look regurgitated.

Not regurgitated, rehabilitated.

[ Chuckles ]

Regurgitated, oh.

Well, you've certainly done a great job

on your new venture.

And since you're going to be so wealthy,

I'm raising your rent.

And I'll be expecting it on time every month from now on.

Shall we, my little turtle dove?

-Let's. -[ Chuckles ]

Well, here's another fine mess we've gotten ourselves...

Wait! Come Back!

You forgot to take a Grup-on!

-Och. -Yeah, och.

♪♪

♪♪