Original subtitles

♪ Warriors for Hire are here ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ It's the name and career ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ For sleuthing siblings who quest ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ Which is what they do best ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ They have special tools ♪

♪ For which they are fools ♪

♪ These guys lose their mind when they collect and find ♪

♪ The Mighty Magi...swords ♪

♪♪

Announcer: At Warriors for Hire Headquarters! Yup!

[ Ding! ]

[ Both giggle ]

[ Ding! ]

[ Laughs ]

[ Zoom! ]

[ Both giggle ]

Prohyas!

What are you doing to the wee hen, ya wee hen?

[ Ding! ]

Don't sweat it, Vambre.

Me and Toilet Bear are just playing

with my brand-spanking-new...

Announcer: Don't Touch That Dial Magisword! New!

What? It's a Magisword

that can [High-pitched voice] level up

[Deep voice] or level down anything

[Normal voice] depending on the number you set it to.

So if I set it to one,

Toilet Bear turns into a teeny-tiny potty bear,

but when I crank this puppy up to 11,

a mighty Entire Bathroom Bear!

Oooooh! How delightfully overpowered!

But the effect is temp-o-rary.

Odds bodkins! [ Doorbell ringing ]

Welcome to Warriors for Hire.

Soi-vice with a smile! Guh-hee!

Lady Hiss: 'Sup, guys?

Both: Aw! Lady Hiss!

Sadness? On my doorstep?

Let Mama Pwohyas wipe dose cute widdle tears.

No! I'm a force to be reckoned with!

Nnnnnnn-- Eeh?

Hmm. That didn't, um -- didn't remotely hurt.

[ Groans ] Don't patronize me, bruh.

I don't need any more of that today.

Why so testy today, Ms. Hiss?

You're normally so cool and collected.

Well, it all started this morning at the Cave of Stuff.

I was helping Skull Bae put the finishing touches

on his Sinister Springtime costume,

when, suddenly, this broody bunny guy came by.

[ Imitating Hoppus ] Boing!

[ Normal voice ] He had no trouble making it

through the Cave's challenges,

and he made his way to The Final Room!

But before he could grab Spring-a-Leek Magisword,

I snuck up behind him.

[ Rattling ]

[ Hissing ]

But then the bunny guy said

[Imitating Hoppus] "Well, aren't you cute?!

Mm.

You're so ineffective, I'm surprised

you're not working at the Jelly Dome!"

[ Normal voice ] You know -- that level-zero cave.

And then he left with a [Imitating Hoppus] "Boing!"

[ Normal voice ] My co-workers seemed to agree.

Prug was all [Imitating Prug] "Yeah, Lady Hiss,

you're simply adorable!"

[ Normal voice ] And then Skullivan was all

[Imitating Skullivan] "There, there.

We're supposed to be level-one monsters.

Not like 11 or some junk."

[ Normal voice ] And then Grup was all

[Imitating Grup] "But you're the cutest level-one monster

of all!"

[ Normal voice ] It was then that I realized that if I wanted

to get any respect around here, I had to get tough!

So I figured if anyone could toughen me up,

it would be you guys.

Announcer: Handkerchief Grenade Magisword!

[ Crying ]

[ Blows nose ]

Right in the feels!

[ Explosion, Toiler Bear groans ]

Oh, um, I was also moved by the story.

Fear not, Lady Hiss.

We're gonna turn you from a meek, pasta-like snake...

...into a mega, mighty snake!

I would enjoy that thoroughlyyy!

Announcer: Soon, at the Warriors' training

spot on the roof!

Now, then, there's nothing that puts the scales

on your person quite like monster wrestling.

[ Explosion ] Monster wrestling?

That sounds pretty hard-core.

Oh, it's nothing a tough gal like you can't handle.

Let's start with something familiar.

Announcer: Bag of Snakes Magisword!

Hiss! Interpreter: Ay, gurl!

Hiss. Interpreter: Ayyyyy!

But now let's make 'em fit for fighting!

Dude, we were just hitting it off.

Announcer: Luchador-r-r-r Magisword!

Man: La Medoomsa!

Show them what you're made of, dear-y.

[ Shivering, rattling ]

[ Clop! Boink! ]

[ Scoffs ] Vambre!

Shoo! Shoo! Shoo-shoo-shoo!

Go on, get! [ Snakes grumbling ]

You too!

We're trying to toughen her up, not terrify her!

I say we start simple.

Announcer: Dirt Magisword!

Ah, sweet. Dirt.

Hee-hee! Nice. I got this.

Have at you, brah!

♪♪

That was very un-dude of you.

Hmm. Methinks we should dial it down a bit.

Dial it down.

[ Slap! ] A-doy!

We can do that with...

Don't Touch That Dial Magisword!

Are you ready for some quality-controlled combat?

What does that mean, brah?

Boulder and Tree Branch Magiswords!

[ Zap! ]

♪♪

[ Zap! Zap! Ding! ]

[ Plink! Plink! ]

♪♪

[ Grunts, chomping ]

Brick Magisword!

♪♪

[ Zap! Ding! ]

Yah!

[ Zap! ]

Ugh!

[ Zap! Ding! ]

I got this, you guy-- Oof!

Butterfly Magisword!

♪♪

[ Boing! ]

[ Zap! Ding! ]

[ Laughs tauntingly ]

[ Straining ]

Hey, Muggsy!

When'd they let you out of the joint?!

This shan't end well.

Oof! Ow! Oof! Ow!

Oof! Ow! Oof! Ow!

[ Panting ]

We can't give up now, Lady Hiss.

Look, I just learned that this thing

goes into negative numbers!

[ High-pitched voice ] See?

Enough with the doopy Dial sword!

It's hopeless. [ Explosion ]

You mustn't say that, Lady Hiss!

I know plenty of folks that are both cute and tough.

Now, there's my mom and my mom's friend Danelda...

What Vambre's trying to say is that some people

prefer pie to pudding. And then there's --

There's also -- There's my mom.

And rock-climbing is not remotely a sport,

but at the end of the day... And you might include Grup.

But at the end of the day... But I don't know.

He's not really...

...when push comes to shove, a mime is just a poor man's clown.

I'm off to the Jelly Dome, guys.

See you on the level-zero side.

[ Sighs ]

[ Scoffs ] Buck up, Prohyas!

Desperate things call for desperate items.

Think! We powered up all her training...

But we didn't think to power her up!

How...you...

Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Best not to think about it.

Aah!

Ah, you're thinking about it.

Announcer: Soon!

[ Pop! ] Lady Hiss!

We got the best idea!

Both: Let's pump you up with Magiswords!

You're not gonna use that silly Dial Magisword, are you?

No! [ Explosion ]

[ Groans ]

We're going to use these silly Magiswords on you!

With your permission, of course.

Let's do this thing!

Announcer: Fight Wig Magisword!

Big Bad Boot Magisword!

Muscly Arm Magisword!

Both: Super teamwork combo -- Snake-over!

[ Warble! ]

[ Zap! ]

[ Bong! Bong! Rattle! ]

[ Laughs ] Cooooool.

Eeeee! Eeeee!

Montage, take two?

Nying!

[ Zap! Ding! ]

Pigs: Wee, wee, wee, wee!

[ Zap! Ding! ]

♪♪

[ Zap! Ding! ]

[ Growling ]

[ Zap! Ding! ]

[ Roaring ]

♪♪

[ Growls, roars ]

Together: Yeah!

Wait till the Cave Weirdos see this Hiss!

Hup-bup-bup-bup-bup- bup-bup-bup...bup-bup.

Remember, Lady Hiss -- With increased power

comes increased responsilityyyy!

[ Thud, whap! ]

[ Thud ]

♪♪

Yes, well...

Announcer: Soon! At the Cave of Stuff!

[ Whip! ] Phew!

It's just you, Lady Hiss.

You wanna try the Thankful Autumn Pumpkin Stack Challenge?

[ Grunting ]

♪♪

Uhhhhh...

-[ Laughs ] -'Kay.

[ Explosion ]

[ Whoosh! Zip! ] Aaahhh!

Skullivan: The Bob for Apples Challenge.

A time-honored Thankful Autumn tradition.

'S hard.

[ Roaring ]

Pa-too!

Turkey: Aah! Aah! Aah!

Whoa!

Impressive.

[ Gobbling ]

♪♪

[ Blows, spits ]

[ Hisses ]

Grup: Oh, hi, Mutant Lady Hiss.

Uh, this is my Thankful Autumn cave challenge.

Come on! Time to put the gravy on the turkey!

A-gobble, gobble.

[ Pow! ]

Nooo!

Too much gravy!

Too much!

[ Breathing heavily ]

Both: Lady Hiss!

This. Ends. Now.

Announcer: Zombie Pumpkin and Squeaky Nightstick Magisword!

Hi. [ Both screaming ]

♪♪

Huh! Huh!

[ Chomping ]

Ooooh! [ Chomps ]

Huuuhhh!

Scorn of Plenty!

[ Horn blows ]

[ Muttering ]

Yess! I'm a level-11 monster!

[ Thunder crashes ]

Lady Hiss! Stop!

You're totaling the Cave of Stuff!

And worse yet, you're not a level-one monster anymore!

[ Crying ]

[ Crying ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Sniffles ]

Don't leave us, Lady Hiss!

You're gonna run off to some better cave!

That has stronger monsters!

And a better benefits package!

Ah, you guys.

I just wanted to show you that I could be tough stuff.

Maybe I went a teensy bit overboard.

But for my besties, I'd never leave the Cave of Stuff.

Let me fix up everything I just messed up

while I'm still buff.

Announcer: Mop Magisword!

[ Twinkle! Twinkle! Twinkle! ]

Ha ha!

Skullivan: Dinner's ready, Lady Hiss.

[ Straining ]

Together: Happy Thankful Autumn, Lady Hiss!

Lady Hiss: Ah, thanks, guys!

Could someone please pass the turkey?

A-gobble, gobble.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪