Original subtitles

♪ Warriors for Hire are here ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ It's the name and career ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ For sleuthing siblings who quest ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ Which is what they do best ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ They have special tools ♪

♪ For which they are fools ♪

♪ These guys lose their mind when they collect and find ♪

♪ The Mighty Magi...swords ♪

♪♪

Announcer: At Warriors for Hire

Headquarters!

Dark and stormy!

Jack Hoppity: Baby, with a heart that big,

you sure know how to make a fella feel small, ya know?

[ Gasps ] Johnny, wait!

I think there's somebody behind that door!

[ Thunder crashes ]

All: Aaaaaaaah!

Oh, no! Ma popcorns!

Sorry to bother you... [ Whiffle! ]

...but are you the Warriors for Hire?

-Ughhhh. -Ohhhhhhh.

[ Swallows ]

Vambre and Prohyas Warrior here.

How may we... [ Burps ]

Help yas.

Oh, thank goodness!

Something absolutely dreadful has happened!

Aah! [ Cries ]

Vambre: Wait just one second.

[ Gasps ]

You're actress Kandy Carrots!

From the movie film!

Indeed, I am, darlin'.

Ah, yes. "Knock Once, Hop Twice."

I got my start in this picture.

It's also where I met my beloved, Jack Hoppity...

[ Chomp! ]

Continue.

...which is precisely why I'm here!

I think Jack may be in trouble!

Both: Trouble?!

It all started only a few moments ago.

Jack had received an invitation to a banquet

at King Chilidonut's castle.

Naturally, I was his plus-one.

But when we arrived...

[ Squeak! ]

...I was refused entrance at the door.

How could they?!

Don't they know who I am?!

[ Chuckles ]

Anyway, when I saw the king's face...

[ Slurp! ]

...a chill ran down my spine,

and the door slammed in my face.

Although I responded with dignity and grace,

I was rudely escorted off the property.

[ Whoosh! ]

And at that moment,

I realized King Chilidonut was up to no good.

I couldn't leave Jack there alone.

Oh, I just know a couple of big, strong warriors

like you can save Jack, no problem!

[ Giggling ]

Well, we are quite good, I suppose.

Big and strong? Shucks!

Absolutely!

You two are titans in your field!

You were even in 3 1/2 magazines!

[ Zip! ]

Hey, she's right.

We were in 3 1/2 magazines!

Surely this task is well within the capabilities

of your mighty hands.

My hands are capable!

After all, we are the...

Both: ...Warriors for Hire!

Fabulous!

Just take a left at the Transylberian Mountains.

Kandy Carrots: Ciao!

Farewell, my noble heroes!

[ Thud! ] Oh, no!

Ma popcorns!

[ Thunder crashes ]

[ Sign motor whirring ] So, how we going in?

A polite knock, as always.

[ Blam! ]

I feel like a million jemms

after the way Kandy talked about us.

Indeed. I've never felt taller.

Guards: Grrrrrrrrrr!

Vambre: There are Donut Beasties in there --

larger than I expected.

Let's go overboard!

[ Shing! ]

♪♪

[ Whoosh! ]

Announcer: Bonehead Magisword!

[ Conk! ]

[ Clunk! ]

[ Shing! ]

[ Thud! ]

[ Scamper! ]

Announcer: Slime Magisword!

[ Splat! ]

[ Scamper! ]

♪♪

[ Shing! ]

[ Scamper! ]

[ Metal clanking ]

[ Thud! ]

♪♪

[ Scamper! ]

[ Gulp! ]

Ahhhhhh!

[ Roar! ]

[ Shing! Shing! Shing! ]

♪♪

Announcer: Telescope Magisword!

[ Zip! ]

Ohh!

Ohh!

Ohh!

All: Aghh!

[ Whirl! ]

♪♪

[ Chuckles ]

[ Splat! Splat! Splat! ]

[ Boing! ]

[ Zip! ]

[ Shing! ]

[ Zinnnnnnnng! ]

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

[ Boing! ]

Mmmmm!

[ Chomp! ]

Eeeeeeeeee!

[ Shing! ]

♪♪

Roaaaaaar!

[ Sproing! Splat! ]

[ Thud! ]

[ Zip! ]

[ Sizzle! ]

Uh, you all right?

Oh, I'll manage.

[ Twang! ]

[ Roar! ]

Hyup! Hyup! Hyup!

♪♪

Huh?

Announcer: Double Face Magisword!

[ Whirl! ]

[ Ping! Ping! ]

Aahhhh!

[ Cries ]

Baaaah! [ Whimpers ]

♪♪

[ Whirl! Whirl! ]

[ Sproing! ]

[ Laughing ]

♪♪

[ Shing! ]

[ Snores ] [ Door clanks ]

Hey, man...

Intrud-- Aaaah!

[ Crash! ]

Hey, uh -- hey, man.

What's with you tiny small-fries

givin' my donut-shaped minions the ol' 1, 2?

Cuts to the jib!

We know you're holding Jack Hoppity captive!

Yeah! Hand over the national treasure!

[ Clunk! ]

[ Thud! Squish! ]

Uh, uh, who went an' told ya' a thing like that, man?

Uh, buh...

Aaaah! [ Splat! ]

Yaaaaah!

[ Splat! ]

Y-y-y-ou can't do this to us!

We're the famous Warriors for Hire!

We've been in 3 1/2 magazines!

[ Sighs ] Give it a rest, Prohyas.

Huh? B-but we totally have.

Ah, famous warriors, you say?

Well, I'm sorry, man.

I was so busy inviting celebrities for dinner.

I-I-I forgot about inviting you little guys.

Hey! You want some barbecue, man?

[ Stomachs grumbling ]

I suppose that would be nice.

Free food is the best kind of food.

Hot diggity dog tamale, man!

I'm glad we sorted this little misunderstandin' out.

Ah, let ol' Chilidonut escort you

to the green room, man, daddy-o.

My, but he really cut us down to size.

Yeah, but he seems like a nice enough duder.

Maybe Kandy was just overreacting.

[ Whoosh! ]

[ Thunk! ]

Now, y'all just sit pretty there till dinner.

It's about time for my beauty nap.

I gotta be fully rested in time for the celebrity barbecue,

'cause, like, I hear celebrities are mighty tasty.

I-I-I read that somewhere.

[ Chuckles ]

Ha ha! You know, boy,

that king sure has a wicked sense of humor.

-Jack Hoppity?! -Jack Hoppity?!

That's right. In the fur, ya see?

[ Slurp! ]

Well, come on! Come on!

Sit down! We're doing a show here.

Uh, we are?

So you're here to plug your latest project.

Now, uh, what is it?

Uh, breaking you out of jail?

Is, uh -- is that a musical?

You do realize he wants to eat us, right?

Ha ha! It's a celebrity barbecue, kid.

You -- You -- You can't prevent them

from roasting you.

That's exactly what we're trying to prevent.

[ Clatter! ]

Aah!

[ Ping! ]

[ Clank! ]

[ Squeak! ]

[ Shuddering ]

We must get out of here

before that king eats us with coleslaw!

I do not like coleslaw!

That's not where mayo was meant to go, man!

Announcer: Accordion Magisword!

[ Whirl! ]

[ Gasping, shouting ]

Announcer: Cheese Magisword!

[ Whirl! ]

[ Gasping, shouting ]

Athletic types, eh?

I use a stunt rabbit, myself.

Ahh.

Funny how you use those -- those Magisword things.

Announcer: Chainsaw Magisword!

The king has one himself.

Both: A Magisword?

Yeah, he calls it his Legendary...

[ Huffs ]

...Swordmecha Magisword.

Magisword?

Swordmecha?

Both: Legendary?!

Yeah, the thing can make a giant robot

once a day.

He breaks it out at parties.

I hear it's a riot.

The king in a giant mech suit?

Ooh! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, daddy-o!

Consider, however, us in a giant mech suit.

Need sword now!

Possibly more than anything in my entire life.

Both: Warrior huddle!

You wee hen. Break out.

Take sword. Beat king. Right?

Monosyllabic, yet correct.

And then we can --

Improv, huh?

I'm game. Put me in, coach.

I can still kick. I can still play.

Oh, we forgot Jack.

Okay, break out. Free Jack. Then --

Creatures: Ummmmmmm.

[ Chuckles nervously ]

Okay. Break out. Free Jack.

Take sword. Beat King.

Free everyone else!

Then go home. Sound good?

Quite.

[ Zip! ]

Sorry, Jack.

This concludes our broadcast day.

Announcer: Legendary Hyperspace Magisword!

[ Whoosh! Clank! ]

Hey, now!

I-I know the ratings are bad, but -- Nyaaah!

[ Munching ]

[ Zip! ]

-Darling! -Darling!

[ Smooch! ]

[ Smooch, smooch, smooch, smooch, smooch, smooch! ]

Well! Jack Hoppity sorted!

Let's get that Magisword!

Hey! What about us?

Well, Hyperspace only has one charge left,

and I'd rather save it in case I really need it.

Don't worry, though. We'll be back.

Gee. I sure hope so.

I gotta use the byath-room.

[ Twirl! ]

All right, now! T-o-o-o...

It looks not unlike a family restaurant in here.

Oh, baby...

Now, if I were a Magisword, where would I be?

Besides in my pocket.

Then you'd be in your own pocket, dear.

Perhaps there. [ Fanfare plays ]

Ah, yes!

Announcer: Rodeo Magis--

Shhh!

Oh. Sorry.

[ Whip! ] [ Snoring ]

Come to Papa Prohyas.

[ Laughs ]

Uh, that tickles, man.

Both: Whew!

[ Yawns ]

Oh! Oh, man...

[ Chomp! ]

Nightstand donuts.

Kinda crossing the line.

[ Creak! ]

[ Thud! ]

I'm not made of stone!

[ Chomp! ]

[ Whoosh! ]

Announcer: Pandachute Magisword.

[ Thud! ]

Announcer: Legendary Swordmecha Magisword!

[ Boing! ]

H-H-Huh?

Haaaa-aaaarr, man!

Come on, Vambre.

Let's thrash this guy!

[ Splat! ] Raaaah!

So it's a fight you want, eh? Well --

[ Chomp! ] Ahh!

Aaaaaaaaah!

[ Gasps ] Don't worry, Vambre! I'm gonna --

Announcer: Legendary Hyperspace Magisword!

Hey, man!

Hey, what is the meaning of this, here?

Broccoli Punch lives to ride again!

[ Splat! ]

[ Gasps, coughs ]

Attagirl, Vambs.

Now we can show this chump who he's dealing with

using the ancient art of giant robot!

Nyaah! Wait, Vambre!

V-a-a-ambre!

I dropped the sword, Vambre!

It's a legendary one! Go back, Vambre, please!

Vambre, Vambre! The sword, Vambre!

Please turn around, Vambre!

Please! Vambre, Vambre, Vambre, Vambre!

Please! Nooo!

♪♪

Announcer: At Slugburger!

Reconvening!

We gotta go back to King Chilidonut's castle.

It pains me so!

There's still a bunch of people to save

and a Legendary Magisword to claim.

And I know together we can...

[ Rattle! ]

Uh...Vambre?

Uh...Vambre?

Are you -- how should I put this? -- okay?

Okay?

Funny word, "okay."

Okay is something I am definitely not,

what with being eaten and mashed in a gargantuan mouth

whilst I was powerless to stop it!

[ Gasps ] Sooooo smaaaall.

Uh, but what if we did something fun --

make a plan to get back into Chilidonut's castle?

[ Twitch! Twitch! ]

Oh, come on, Vambre.

You usually like this part.

[ Squirt! ] Hmmm.

[ Squirt! ] Hmmm.

[ Whoosh! Whoosh! ]

No. Yes!

Aaand perfect!

[ Ding! ]

No, no, no!

This plan needs the Vambre touch

to bring it the rest of the way home.

Take a look, Vamburrito.

What do you think? What do I think?

I think it matters not, for we're all so tiny

in comparison to the beasts that devour we, the tiny folk.

I mean, we're always one tiny day away

from being so helpless and minuscule

that someone with much bigger teeth

could devour us at any moment...

[ Chomp! ]

...sending us down a shame spiral so immense and deafening

that every waking moment makes one feel so infinitesimal

that it doesn't matter how big you thought you might be...

[ Gasps ] ...but only that you comprehend

that life is short and so are you!

Aaaaaah!

Eeeeeee! Ooh.

[ Laughing ]

Eeeee! Eh? Ock!

[ Laughing ]

Boo, kitten!

Eeeaaaah!

I must go.

I must go to the house where we live.

[ Zing! ]

What the what was what?!

Hopefully we've got plenty of --

Ahhhhhhh!

King Chilidonut's most dangerous barbecue is in an hour?!

And we don't have a plan.

Celebrities are gonna get eaten,

and we can't let that happen,

because celebrities are people, I think!

Wait up, Vamb-r-r-r-re!

V-a-a-ambre!

I really need your strategizin' skills.

Ho-kay, where are you?

Uh, not here. Hello!

Grup's here, though.

Uh, she hasn't fallen down the stairs. Good.

She's not next to that door I like.

Man, we got a lot of Grup portraits.

I paid good money for those!

Man, I like that door. Wait a sec.

Si-i-is! Ohhhh!

Vambre, what's with the hiding?

There's people to help!

But how, when I am far too small?

Unlike this tomato. So powerful.

But you obviously made that tomato.

Eep! Wouldn't you

rather he--

Eee! H-help stop

an evil barbecue?

Eep! Just a little bit?

Aaah! Is there nothing

that would...

[ Grunts ] [ Bang! ]

...make you feel better?

We've got, like, no time!

I've always said that, between the two of us,

we have a whole brain,

and I need your half to finish the plan!

So tiny.

Unable to do things.

Okay, this isn't working.

Hang tight, sis.

[ Crash! ]

H-e-e-e-e -- ah, rug burn!

[ Laughs ] Here you go, Vambre --

your favoritest of foods,

green vegetable mush! Blegh.

Better eat it so you can get big and strong!

[ Nibble! ]

I'm full.

Ah, rat legs. [ Bang! ]

What else would make you feel better?

Oh, hey, Prohyas,

this just came for Vambre.

Give me that! Hey, sis!

Your book is here.

Announcer: Chainsaw Magisword!

[ Chainsaw whirring ] Eh?

[ Squeak! ]

Heh-heh, hey, sis,

the latest "Veronica Victorious" book is here!

Why not read it so you can get pumped and save people?

That giant tome would crush me.

[ Chuckles nervously ]

But it's your favorite book series!

This never doesn't work!

Squeak. Nyaaah!

[ Bang! ]

Think, Prohyas! Think!

If Vambre feels super-debilitatingly small,

maybe the answer is to make her feel

super-duper big and powerful!

And I know just the thing to make Vambre feel not small.

[ Toilet flushes ]

Eh, n-no, sweetie.

That's not always the answer.

Awww.

So, uh...

you know you're taller than me, right?

[ Zip! ]

[ Ping! Tink! ]

♪ Vambre was a mighty legend not so long ago ♪

♪ The moment she was born, she took out 27 foes ♪

♪ By the time she bothered aging ♪

♪ She was known throughout the land ♪

♪ As the gal who carried 20 Magiswords in just one hand ♪

♪ Once she saw a geezer being threatened by an orc ♪

♪ She launched him into outer space with just a lowly spork ♪

♪ A mountain known as Archibald spat rocks about her face ♪

♪ A touch from Vambre's pinky toe, it laid the hill to waste ♪

♪ Her name was Vambre ♪

♪ Vambre ♪

♪ Vambre ♪

♪ She's a big, tremendous deal Her name was Vambre ♪

♪ Vambre ♪

♪ Vambre ♪

♪ She can stomp ya flat, for real ♪

♪ A black belt and a heavyweight ♪

♪ They didn't like her style ♪

♪ They morphed into a heavybelt to wipe away her smile ♪

♪ They loomed above and said to her ♪

♪ "We'll take ya down a peg ♪

♪ We'll rip yer doopy cape ♪

♪ And we'll put pants upon yer legs!" ♪

[ Gasp! ]

♪ And so she yawned there for a moment ♪

♪ So the brute could make a move ♪

♪ She walloped him a'skyward ♪

♪ Then she launched herself a'boov ♪

♪ She knocked him down until he plunged ♪

♪ A'halfway down the world ♪

♪ And then she shook a squirrel's paw ♪

♪ 'Cause she's not afraid of squirrels ♪

♪ Vambre ♪

♪ Vambre ♪

♪ Vambre ♪

♪ She's a big, tremendous deal Her name was Vambre ♪

♪ Vambre ♪

♪ Vambre ♪

♪ She could stomp ya flat, for real ♪

Vambre's back!

Yaaay!

So, will you help me finish this plan

and make it best plan now? Please?!

Let's just have a look-see.

Hmm. Ha!

Of course!

I know what this needs.

Both: What?!

Mustard!

[ Quack! ]

Just a little Dijon... [ Bang! ]

...and behold -- the answer!

Of course! It's so simple!

So, now do you feel ready to finish this mission?

Indubitably.

Let's save those edible celebrities...

...get that Legendary Magisword...

Both: ...and stop that barbecue!

Yay!

Nobody's ever shouted that triumphantly before.

[ Knock on door ]

[ Scamper! ]

[ Bang! ] Hey, what's that?

I'm celebrity ingredient PiggiePie Jones,

and I've been told I'm preeetty delicious.

Wink.

PiggiePie Jones? At my barbecue?

You got my letter! Yaaay!

Feast upon my green meats!

Well-played, brother.

But I must act quickly.

Hmm. Which sword is best sword?

Announcer: Hook Magisword!

Ock. Like, so much lint.

Ohhhh?

♪ PiggiePie Jones PiggiePie Jones ♪

♪ Cute right down to his piggiepie bones ♪

Hmm?

[ Whoosh! ] Ha, ha, ha!

♪ PiggiePie Jones PiggiePie Jones ♪

♪ Cute right down to his -- ♪

Huh? Hyaaaah, man!

Oh. Raaaah, daddy-o!

I sense you're upset. I-I'm very sensitive.

Prohyas is in a pro-pickle!

Hyaaaaaaah!

I think he's hangry, Vambre!

Behold the fury of my wrath, King Eat Stuff!

I'm going to teach you some dinner-party etiquette,

with the use of a giant robot.

[ Twinkle! ]

[ Pew! ]

[ Thud! ]

[ Ting! ]

[ Whoosh! ]

♪♪

The bookish brute -- Vambre!

[ Clong! ]

Your turn, Prohyas.

I love it when it's my turn!

♪♪

The goofy gladiator -- Prohyas!

♪♪

Both: Hyper Mecha Magisword

Mobile Mode go!

[ Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! Bang! ]

Hey! No fair!

How come they get a giant robot?

Ahh, dinner's almost ready.

And you are not invited, man!

Prohyas: I mean, we were at one point.

Vambre: Continuity, Chilidonut.

Yeah? Well, good luck nabbin'

this here key thingie from me.

It's the only way you're getting' those celebrities out.

Vambre: Obvious MacGuffin is obvious!

[ Crash! ]

[ Zip! Thud! ]

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ding dong dang it!

I was gonna wait for the spread,

but it's never to early for a show, man, daddy-o!

♪ I'm gonna hoo and a hey, and a hoo and a hey ♪

Both: Hyah! Hup! Hah! Hmm!

Hnnnh!

Prohyas! His noise is egregious!

Prohyas: I'm on it!

Announcer: Opposable Thumb Magisword!

Magisword activate!

[ Clang! ]

Both: It's doing a thing!

None of your fancy tricks

can beat my smooth pipes, man!

♪ H-e-e-e-e-e-ey ♪

Prohyas: I give your performance

a big thumbs-down!

Ah, is that a laser thumb?

Hey, that's pretty neato, man.

Hyugh!

[ Slurp! Slurp! Slurp! ]

Ptooey!

Prohyas: Ha, ha!

Oooh! 'Tis my tuuuuurn!

Announcer: Bag of Snakes Magisword!

Magisword activate!

[ Clank! Thud! ]

[ Roar! ]

[ Hiss! ]

[ Thwap! Thwap! Thwap! Thwap! ]

[ Thunk! Thunk! ]

Both: Hah! Hoo! Hah! Right!

Ahhhhh. [ Creak! ]

Huh?

[ Clang! Zip! ]

[ Clank! Thud! ]

That's what happens when you fight in Metaspace, man.

[ Laughing ] I suppose. 'Tis fine!

I have a backup plan.

Magisword activate!

Ooh! It still works when you drop it in tiny!

Announcer: Ground-Pound Magisword!

[ Zip! ]

[ Clong! ]

[ Zip! Thud! Zip! Thud! ]

[ Zip! ]

Uh, hey, y'all gonna give up or what, man?

All this fightin' is eatin' up into my,

eh, eatin' time.

Oh, let's do accommodate him.

What say you, Prohyas?

I say if duder is hungry, let's feed his goofy face!

Both: Super teamwork combo...

[ Shing! Shing! ]

Both: ...activate!

Announcer: Excaliburger Magisword!

Bacon Magisword!

Sleeping Dragon Magisword!

Banana Peel Magisword!

[ Zip! Whoosh! Thwack! ]

[ Whirl! ]

Vambre and Prohyas: Base! Patty! Lettuce! Pickles!

Bananas! Bacon! Peanut Butter! Special Sleeping Dragon Sauce!

All hugged by a toasted sesame-seed bun to make

the Lion Tamer!

Geez! Ohh! Ohh!

[ Munch! Munch! Munch! ]

Ahhhh.

That is one dang good ol' sandwich there,

man, daddy-o, kitten cat...

[ Snores ]

[ Zip! Buzzer! ]

[ Snap! Clank! ]

All! Y-a-a-a-ay!

We've freed the celebrities

from Chilidonut's cages!

But we'll never free them of the prison

of their public existence.

Hey. Still feeling small after today's butt-kickery?

Perish the thought. I've never felt taller.

[ Scamper! ]

Well, now what are we gonna eat?

Who's hungry for some comedy?

[ Murmuring agreeably ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪