Original subtitles

♪ Warriors for Hire are here ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪ ♪ It's the name and career ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ For sleuthing siblings who quest ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ Which is what they do best ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ They have special tools ♪

♪ For which they are fools ♪

♪ These guys lose their mind when they collect and find ♪

♪ The Mighty Magi...swords ♪

Welcome to the Flonk Show!

Have any of you stopped to think about this dreck you're eating?

It looks like bad.

It smells like bad.

And it tastes like bad!

[ Laughs ]

[ Groaning ]

That darn Flonk is stinkin' up my restaurant

with his mean jokes again.

Ooooh!

You all have questionable taste in eateries.

Get out of here, Flonk!

You're not funny, and you're driving out my customers.

Not funny? That's how you talk to a guy

who's providing free entertainment?!

Eat my mic!

Ergh! Spoony did not wake up for this today.

Bap. Beep. Bop. Booooop.

Warriors? For Hire? Get over here

and get this fool, Flonk,

'cause he's putting salt on my slug!

Woo! Click.

We're the Warriors for Hire,

and we're here to stop you, Flonk!

[ Laughs ] Looks like the Bangs Brigade showed up.

Hnnngh! [ Laughs ]

And what's wrong with my...

Announcer: Bangs! Lobster Claw Magisword!

Prepare to get clawbbered!

Vambre, wait up!

Hyaaaw! Hup!

We can't just hit things because they aren't funny.

I fail to see the issue. I'm very funny.

You're not funny, Flonk!

Takes one to know one! Och!

Don't you seeeee?

If we stop stop trouncing Flonk whenever he acts out

and instead try to understand him,

we can stop making him an issue

and instead make him a productive member of society!

Tell me, Flonkybunch, just what is it that you want?

Hmmm?

[ Gasps ] Nobody has ever asked me that before!

I'd like to find a venue

where the audience truly appreciates my genius!

Can we help him? Pweddy pwezz?

I, too, know what it's like to be misunderstood

in my creative endeavors.

I want nothing to do with this hogwash.

We have no positive memories of Flonk

and no reason to believe that he'll ever change.

You, and specifically you, can help him.

Oh, goody!

Flonk, we're going to go find you the venue of your dreams!

But, Prohyas, I don't know if you're aware of this,

but we have a job to do.

I need time sensitive ingredients, y'all.

If you don't find a home for Flonk's unusual

brand of comedy in short order,

I'll have to defeat Flonk myself and throw him

to Officer Fordor for assaulting Spoony with a frozen treat.

I'd say you have, oh...

24 hours!

Ugh!

Announcer: Soon, at the Cave of Stuff!

It's Cornan of the Glitter Clan!

[ Tires squealing ]

Hup!

[ Buzzer ]

Yay!

Congratulations on almost being done

with the Cave of Stuff!

Cornan shall defeat you, Dungeon Boss!

Huh? Nooooo!

Nooooooooo!

Huh? That's the stuff.

Noooooooo!

[ Clink ]

Sweet victory!

Huh? Are -- are those air holes?

Unicorns aren't even real!

Telling a guy he doesn't exist doesn't qualify as a joke.

Be gone, Boss Fiend! Nooooo!

What's wrong with you?

I had that funny in my pocket all day!

[ Laughs ] He tailored the joke just for you, Cornan.

Yeah!

Just give me my sword so I can leave.

[ Sighs ] All right, then.

Announcer: Squeaky Nightstick Magisword!

Gimme that! Glitter Clan Combo!

Glitter Smack!

[ Groans ] Aha!

Look, Prohyas!

He made your face into a scrapbooking project.

Let me call grandma.

[ Laughs ]

Hm, Heh,

That joke was funny and relevant

to my crafting interests.

[ Gasps ] Laughter! Feels so right.

Yeah! Progress!

I bet we could stay here and entertain

all of the adventurers who come through.

Nopenopenopenope!

We here at the Cave of Stuff are running a bwezzniss...

of sorts,

and we don't have the budget for Flonk Insurance.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Prug, be careful! His ego is fragile.

That's right, run. Run like they all run.

Well, whatever.

That place was too mainstream anyway.

Deserts are so lame with their --

sand and their -- their rocks. [ Laughs ]

Don't try to cheer me up with your jokes.

It's not going to work this time.

Vambre: Which is to imply that it has ever worked, any time!

[ Laughs ]

It worked that one time!

I make myself laugh every day!

Well, it's not good enough.

You'll need to be-chortle an entire crowd for it

to be considered an actual legitimate venue.

You'll need to do it pretty soon, too.

Less than 24 hours!

She has got to teach me how she does that.

It's actually not that difficult.

I can teach you in, like, an afternoon!

Sis, you're close-talking.

Announcer: Extendo Flick Magisword!

Och! Less than 24 hours!

I think I know where we can find you a larger audience.

Announcer: Soon, in the Dinosaur Kingdom!

Go for it, Flonk! Spread your humor!

What do you call a bunch of terrible thunder lizards

who spent all day in a swimming pool?

Primordial soup! Reh?

Go ahead, Frankylo. Tell them his joke.

[ Squeaking ]

[ Growling ]

Are dinosaurs usually this sensitive?

You know, in hindsight, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, come to think of it.

Announcer: Cheese! You're very good at fighting

with cheese, Prohyas.

Have you considered a new career

in Wensleydale wrestling?

[ Laughs ]

[ Squeaking ]

[ Laughing ]

Do you hear that? They're chuckling!

Success.

Maybe this means my jokes gain something in translation.

No joke telling at my pool, you dang old humanses!

Who do you think has to clean up this egg mess?

Enngh... stupid arms.

Nyehhh... Oh, Prohyas, is now a bad time?

Well, it's not... Aah!

Vambre! In the flesh.

I wanted you to know I saw the whole thing.

Oh, yeah? What did you think?

I think, you still haven't a venue.

Better step up your game and bring the house down.

You have, like, no time at all!

[ Laughs ]

Well, I've got one last venue to try.

And it's an actual venue.

Announcer: Soon, at the Transylbiria Comedy Club!

Abandoned! Okay, your audience is small,

but they exist.

If you can win those two softies over,

I bet they'll call their friends.

You could have this place full of laughing monsters in no time.

Put your whatever together for Flonk!

Mm-hmm. Thank you. Thank you. You're a beautiful audience.

I can tell your a hip and happening bunch

because you're loitering in an abandoned theater.

One might also think that you have no lives!

[ Laughs ] This guy knows what I'm talking about!

You do, right? Really?

Nothing?

That was the worst,

but I still kind of want to see where this goes.

Oh, my. Not much of an audience, is it?

[ Gasps ] It's ol' man Vambre! We just got here, okay?

Let Flonk have a real chance.

I'll have you know I brought an audience member with me.

You did? My good friend,

Officer Fordor!

Oh, I just love comedy.

It's such an under-appreciated art form.

And if it doesn't go well, I'm going to tell Fordor

about everything Flonk did at Slugburger today.

Oooh, you'll love my observational material

about law enforcement.

Ha! This oughta be good.

Like how all the cops look like overgrown lobsters!

What? I'll have you know

I'm very proud of my lobster heritage.

Ho, boy. All right, you peons!

Are you ready for your faces to explode

from how funny I am?

[ Crickets chirping ]

Pshh, I don't think you people even want to laugh!

I love laughing!

You've got to use more allegory and... timing.

Hnnnhhgh! Riddle time!

What has purple hair

and can't laugh its way out of a paper bag?

Announcer: Foam Finger Magisword!

Booo!

Heckling, really? I...

Booooo!

A foam finger?

This ain't the sportsball, lady!

He, sportsball.

[ Gasps ] A laugh!

That's it! He's funny with Magiswords!

Announcer: Cheese Magisword!

Am I having the cheese on stage dream again?

Call my psychiatrist!

[ Laughs ]

It's working!

It's working!

If anyone needs a bear, like, right now,

just drop me in the woods with this thing on.

[ Laughter ]

He's talking about bears.

They're laughing.

Flonk, I've been saving this Magisword for a rainy day,

but I think you deserve it now!

What? [ Gasps ]

Announcer: Rubber Chicken Magisword!

Aaah!

Never had a lesson!

[ Laughter ]

Boop! Boop! Beep! Beep! Boop! Beep! Boop!

♪ Chicken on the stage Smack a chicken on the stage ♪

♪ Chicken on the stage Smack a chicken on the stage ♪

♪ Chicken on the stage Smack a chicken on the stage ♪

♪ Chicken on the stage Smack a chicken on the stage ♪

[ Laughter ]

So here's the grand finale!

Announcer: Monster Suit Magisword!

Rubber Chicken Magisword!

Prohyas and Flonk: Super teamwork combo:

Chicken Soup for the Flonk Soul!

B'caw!

[ Laughter ]

Flonk! Flonk! Flonk! Flonk!

Flonk, you're a hit!

Surprising but true!

I knew he had it in him.

And I'm proud of you for becoming humorous

all of a sudden.

Now don't let me catch you getting into any funny stuff!

Oh, I can assure you, I'm a changed chicken.

Good. Good. I'll catch you guys later.

I'm going to go get a manicure for my lobster claws!

[ Laughs ] I'm into Flonk's early stuff.

It would seem you've cracked the code.

Flonk's a terrible insult comic, but a brilliant prop comic!

Yes!

But, never do insult comedy again.

Are you sure, because I prepared a solid half hour

on your fear of squirrels.

[ Laughter ]

Tomato! Ugh!

♪♪

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