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♪ Warriors for Hire are here ♪
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♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪
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♪ It's the name and career ♪
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♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪
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♪ For sleuthing siblings who quest ♪
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♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪
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♪ Which is what they do best ♪
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♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪
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♪ They have special tools ♪
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♪ For which they are fools ♪
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♪ These guys lose their mind when they collect and find ♪
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♪ The Mighty Magi...swords ♪
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♪♪
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Announcer: On the outskirts of Rhyboflaven! Meow!
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Mew.
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Vambre: Look, Prohyas!
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A wee kitteh is stuck in a tree.
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Prohyas: Oh, he looks so distressed.
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Mew.
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This looks like a job for...
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Announcer: Balloon animal magisword.
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Ooh!
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But, um, this helps the situation how?
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He-e-e-elium.
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Here, kitty. Here comes Vambre
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to save you from this big, bad tree.
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O-o-och!
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Predictable. Have you anything more functional?
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Hmm. Boink.
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Announcer: Trouser magisword!
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Fashionable and functional.
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Blech! Better you than me, to be sure.
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Oh, that's right, your whole not liking pants...thing.
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It's not that I simply don't like pants.
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I hate pants! I hate all pants.
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I hate the way they restrict my movements,
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the way they make my skin crawl,
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the way they chafe against my legs!
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Oh, the chaffing...
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Hey, I got the cat, so, um, you can stop monologuing.
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D'aw, who likes to get booped on the snoot?
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You do. You --
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[ Growling ]
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MROW!
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Eee! A tentacle, feline beastie!
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MROW!
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Aw, he's simultaneously cute and terrifying.
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Ooh, he's a feisty one.
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Come along, Prohyas, let us do the thing.
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Announcer: Cuddle puppy magisword!
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Anvil magisword.
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Both: Super teamwork combo...chain?
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Nying.
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Pardon me, but we were trying to to bask in the heat of battle.
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You're -- y -- you couldn't be.
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Steel Magnolia.
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In the flesh, young adventurer! And steel, of course.
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Eh, Iron Chrysanthemum?
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Steel Magnolia!
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The most legendary adventurer/blacksmith
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in all of Lyvsheria!
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Oh, that and a few neighboring regions.
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Pat, pat.
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It's a good thing that a seasoned professional,
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such as I, was nearby to save you wee warriors.
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[ Scoffs ] Save us? From the monster?
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'Cause we routinely handle --
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We are thrilled to be in your presence.
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Eee! Am I, now?
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I'm not here to save you from a silly monster.
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I'm here to save you from your insufficient attire.
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What self-respecting warrior
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goes gallivanting in that patchwork?
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Luckily, generous ol' Steel Magnolia
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is here to lend you some of my designer armor.
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[ Imitates buzzer ] Sorry, Miss Daffodil.
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We appreciate the offer, but armor just isn't our thing.
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Right, Vamburrito?
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Eee!
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Come along with me, dearie.
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I've got just the right armor for you in my shop.
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Well, if you change your mind,
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I'll be over here fighting the monster...alone.
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P-s-s-sh, armor-schmarmor.
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A manly man such as moi prefers to feel the action of battle.
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I can feel it.
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Announcer: Soon, at Steel Magnolia's shop of steel.
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Hmm. Well, let's address that problematic area
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with my patented...
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battle pants.
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P-p-p-p-p-p-pants?
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Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
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Please, let's, um, let's focus on the upper half.
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[ Chuckles nervously ]
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Eh.
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Mrow?
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Mrew?
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Announcer: Squeaky nightstick magisword!
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Who likes to get booped on the head?
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[ Squeaking ]
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Ohh! Eee! Ugh!
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Getting hideously clobbered is fun and all,
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but I could get this done with some backup.
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Did someone place an order for backup?
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I...okay.
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Let's get back to busi-ness?
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Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
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Ready, Prohyas?
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[ Speaking gibberish ]
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[ Blows ]
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No one exhales my brother off-screen.
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Hiya!
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[ Groaning ]
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Hiya!
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Hiya.
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Hiya.
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Mrow!
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Ha! Silly beastie.
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Did someone knock?
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I've scuffed the armor, I'm afraid.
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Oh, Vambre, all you need is an upgrade.
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What did you have in...mind?
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Ms...Ms. Magnolia,
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with all due respect, this might be a touch heavy.
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Ho-ho! You know what they say?
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The heavier they are, the harder they fall.
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Ah, yes. That old chestnut.
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Vambre: It seems like it's not working out for me.
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But this is Steel Magnolia here.
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Surely, she knows what she's talking about.
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Ooh!
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We've got to get you into these shoulder pads.
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[ Inhales sharply ]
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All right, kitty. Here's a taste of your own medicine.
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Announcer: Cat tongue magisword!
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Mro-o-w!
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No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
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Aah!
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[ Shudders ]
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I hope Vambre gets back while I still have some face.
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Vambre: Put my brother down, fuffy mew-mew.
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Announcer: Fish head magisword.
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Doopy rasa-frasa gauntlets!
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It would appear the gauntlets have thrown me down.
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Prohyas...
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let us combine forces.
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Boo to the yiggity yah!
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Super teamwork com--
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[ Grunting ]
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M-mulligan. [ Growls ]
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Super teamwork com--
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[ Both grunting ]
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Adequate all by myself combo, fi-i-ish?
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Well...
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Aah!
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Fret not, Vambre. Pat, pat.
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A wandering warrior happened to donate his old gear here
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just last week.
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Luckily, I brought something that cats loathe.
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Announcer: Catnip mouse magisword!
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Oh, th-this looked different in my bag.
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Aaaah!
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Eh?
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[ Samurai music playing ]
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I have no idea what that's referencing,
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but it looks cool.
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Ha!
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Ah?
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Mow.
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Och.
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This is my most sophisticated armor yet.
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Yes. Sophisticated.
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That's certainly a word for it.
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[ Sighs ] If this is what legendary Steel Magnolia
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thinks is good, I'll try it.
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Hmm. Now, you're sure you don't want to try the pants?
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It really ties the whole thing together.
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Eh, no, no. I'm fine.
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[ Metal clanking ]
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[ Sighs ]
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Now, now punch?
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Not quite what I had in mind.
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Och.
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Och!
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Och! OCH!
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Let's see if this is any better.
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[ Beeping ]
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No-o-o!
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Aim at the cat, you doopy --
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[ Yawns ]
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Argh! [ Buzzer ]
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Nye-e-e-eh!
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Oh, come on.
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There's got to be something I haven't pressed.
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Oh!
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[ Buzzer ]
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Who would put a self-destruct button on a suit of armor?
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All right, back to the shop.
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Ms. Magnolia, I appreciate your generosity,
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but I'm beginning to think all of these armors
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are a tad -- hmm -- impractical?
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Impractical?! I'll tell you what's impractical!
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A warrior who fights without...pants!
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Any of my expertly-crafted armor would work perfectly fine
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if you just wore the battle pants.
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No, not that.
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Eek!
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Anything but those, please!
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Let's talk this out over a cup of tea?
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Just don't give me the --
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See, much better.
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Now, you look like an actual warrior.
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Pat. Pa-a-at.
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[ Groaning ]
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Aah!
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I HATE PANTS!
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HA-A-A-TE!
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[ Snarling ]
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Prohyas!
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Let's do the thing!
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Yeah! Let's -- on the -- on -- on -- on the pants?
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'Kay!
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Announcer: Unravel magisword!
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Little blue bomb magisword!
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Both: Super teamwork combo -- bye-bye bell bottoms.
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[ Pop! Pop! Pop! ]
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Ah, I feel much better.
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Steel, I appreciate you treating me
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to your worldly collection of armor,
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but it's just not for me, least of all the pants.
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Pants restrict my mobility, chafe my legs,
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and last but certainly not least, cramp my style.
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I've learned over many years of warrioring
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that pants don't make the warrior.
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And just because I don't wear pants
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doesn't mean I don't "wear the pants".
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And that is why I, Vambre Marie Warrior,
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have not worn pants, do not wear pants,
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and shall never again wear pants.
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[ Triumphant music plays ]
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Pat. Pat.
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My word, I feel so free!
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Announcer: Rad rocket magisword!
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Such speed.
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Fight wig magisword!
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♪♪
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Meow!
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Such strength! I know, right?
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Announcer: Wickersnapper magisword!
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Soothing brush magisword.
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[ Snores ]
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Om! Om!
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She's terrific!
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Where'd you get that? Popcorn store.
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Ah.
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Om! Om!
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And to think, I did it all without pants.
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♪♪
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♪♪
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