Original subtitles

♪ Warriors for Hire are here ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ It's the name and career ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ For sleuthing siblings who quest ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ Which is what they do best ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ They have special tools ♪

♪ For which they are fools ♪

♪ These guys lose their mind when they collect and find ♪

♪ The Mighty Magi...swords ♪

♪♪

Prohyas, warrior for hire, now faces his biggest challenge!

[ Whining ] Mopping up at Ralphio's.

To be fair, Prohyas, I think we got off easy.

No, toilet bear, no!

What do we do? We put that d--

[ Roars ]

If you're really that bored,

why don't you sing us a merry tune?

[ Groans ]

♪ I got a nose, purple I suppose ♪

♪ And I will name my nose Pete ♪

♪ I got a nose, purple and it's gross ♪

♪ And I will name my nose Pete ♪

♪ It's Purple Pete, Purple Pete, Purple Pete ♪

♪ It's Purple Pete, Purple Pete, Purple Pete ♪

♪ It's Purple Pe-- ♪ Warriors!

Ralphio, you're back! Just as we finished

sprucing up!

And you did a smashing job!

So smashing I'm rewarding you with...

the contents of my bargain bin!

Mm-hmm.

[ Humming ] Ah! Got something.

Zounds! 'Tis a treasure map to a Magisword!

What a fortuitous dra--

Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine!

Wha--

Announcer: Nailclipper Magisword!

Ha ha, yes, well...

Nailclipper Magisword! [ Groans ]

I got a dozen of these!

[ Echoing ] Nailclipper Magisword.

[ Grunting ]

[ Whining ]

I don't allow whining in my store!

Nor should you. Leave this to me.

Announcer: Bonehead Magisword!

[ Whining ]

Fetch! Dude, I love fetch!

Worthless Nailclipper Magisword!

Can't even get to level five

unless you collect a million-ty of 'em! Ptoo!

Prohyas, your whining is off the charts today!

No, it isn't! I'll make you a deal!

Let's follow this Magisword treasure map.

If you can get through the whole thing without whining once,

I'll let you keep the new Magisword.

Otherwise, I will keep it for myself.

And I will rub your face in it!

Deal? A new Magisword all for me,

and all I gotta do is not whine?

Oh, this will be the easy-peasiest!

You have got yourself a deal, sister!

This'll be so easy that--

Dork!

[ Inhales ]

Announcer: Soon in the Barren Faceland!

What's all this then?

Take a number?

Very well. Uh, one.

Uh, two.

Now serving number one.

Tally ho!

Announcer: 20 minutes later! [ Inhales deeply ]

Now serving number three.

Wha?! Nnn! Hmm.

Four?!

[ Grunts ]

I'm open to suggestions.

Announcer: Legendary Hyperspace Magisword!

[ Screams ]

[ Grunts ] Thanks.

Hey, all right!

♪♪

Rub, rub, rub, rub, rub!

[ Grunts ]

So gonna be worth it for that sweet Magisword.

Buy moisturizer.

Skullivan? Hey, Warriors.

What are you doin' in this place instead of the Cave of Stuff?

So I was on my way to the Cave of Stuff,

when I get a MagiMobile call from Prug,

asking me to pick up some mayonnaise for him.

So I start heading towards Jeff's items shop,

and one of those tears

in the fabric of time and space appears,

because of course it does.

Then a big hand throws me into another dimension,

and, suddenly, I'm falling through the sky

with a whale and bowl of petunias.

And the whale won't be quiet, and I could go on.

Well, side character, it's been a--

Oh, I wish you would.

So then I hitch a ride with a traveling circus,

and they offer me a job as their fake mermaid corpse,

and I'm thinking, "Huh, I can really pull the look off."

Announcer: Ugh... Well, that took

a decided turn.

You're decided!

I just want to get out of this annoying place

and get that Magisword!

Are you sure you can handle this,

'cause stairs and this stinks.

I think I can handle a half-dozen steps, Vambre.

[ Grunts ]

[ Screams ]

This isn't even jar ham! It's--

Announcer: One half-empty sleeve

of Ralphio's brand stale soda crackers!

-They're the boring-est! -Ha!

Who needs protein anyway?

Announcer: Mousetrap Magisword!

Nying! Oof!

I'll allow for a yelp of pain to not count as a whine.

Gosh, that's so big of you.

[ Gasps ] A Slugburger!

Welcome to Slugburger. My name is Scarriet.

Would you care to try our new Scuttle o' Slugs Family Meal

for just 15 jemms?

Just the slugburger, please.

Would you care to make that a double slugburger

for just two jemms more?

Yeah, no. Please stop upselling.

I can't stand -- just...

Just the slugburger.

You can make this a combo meal...

-Nope! -...for just five more jemms.

-Nope! -You're total is...

Nuh-- oh, sorry.

Your total is dependent

on your interest in dessert.

May I suggest the warm jellied-slug pie?

[ Grunting ]

Sir, no outside food in our dining area.

One close call after another.

Ready to concede yet?

Am I paranoid, or is this whole place designed

specifically to annoy me?

Yes, Prohyas, someone tailor-made an entire dungeon

specializing in making you gripe just to see what would happen.

To commemorate 27 years of peace

between the Slimes and the Kotassian people,

let us begin our annual Parade of Love!

[ Cheering ] Oh.

♪ Tra la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

My gracious, have you ever seen anything more adorable?!

Um...Isn't that the door out, uh, over there?

[ Grunts ]

Announcer: 300 refrains later!

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

Vambre.

Vambre, I am of the opinion...

that we should leave this room now.

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

[ Groaning ]

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

Right!

Announcer: Gummy Sticky Hand Magisword!

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

Announcer: Sleeping Dragon Magisword!

Battle yell!

[ Snoring ]

[ Snickering ]

Announcer: Bulldozer Magisword!

[ Laughing ]

[ Gasps ]

Have you ever seen a more action-packed dungeon room?!

Step back, Pwohyas, and wet your big sistew handew this with...

Announcer: Excawibuwgew Magisword!

[ Whimpers ] Yes, this one will do

the trick so nicely.

I do hope you don't mind

my borrowing your favorite sword without permission!

Why, the thought never crossed my brainmeats!

Splendid!

I shall further calm your nerves

by playing you a jaunty ditty on your...

Accordion Magisword!

Why, yes! Please do that!

♪ I've got an ear, Violet and it's dear ♪

♪ And I will name that ear Verne ♪

♪ I've got an ear ♪ I do so love having people

do my thing!

It's pleasure-licious. ♪ It's Violet Verne,

Violet Verne, Violet Verne ♪

♪ It's Violet Verne, Violet Verne, Violet Verne ♪

♪ It's Violet Verne, Violet Verne, Violet Verne ♪

Ugh, I feel like I've crossed a line somewhere.

Have I truly won our wager if I'm the instigator?

No, no, this doesn't feel right at all.

Prohyas, I'll... Prohyas?

Um...Vambre?

Close! But not quite.

'Tis I...

the loveable Flummocks!

Announcer: Flummocks -- student of life!

Aw, not you! I can't stand your gnomey pranks!

[ Groans ]

Well, why not tell your sister all about it in whiny detail?

Prohyas? Where are you?

I promise not to take my eyes off of you until I can find you!

Oh...good.

I saw Vambre make that wager with you back at Ralphio's,

and I couldn't resist studying your behavior!

The more you bottle that fine whine,

the close your meter comes to maxing out!

I've always wondered what would happen after that!

Likely something fascinating.

I mean -- ptoo!

I don't like broccoli,

but I grew up on a broccoli farm, dude.

Then we can do better. Or worse.

Eye of the beholder.

My evil Doppelganger, Nohyas?

No, yeah! Where am I?

Besides right next to me, since I'm you!

Well... [ Smooches ]

Announcer: Flyswatter Magisword!

I don't care for Nohyas, but I've dealt with him before.

Perhaps I should upgrade you to a combo meal --

free of charge! -Ooh!

Whoa! I'm huge!

And made of broccoli.

And so is my new friend, Nohandas, who is also us!

Sí, somos grandes!

[ Twitching ]

[ Beeping ]

♪♪

Announcer: Office job Prohyas.

El parece aburrido.

Well, that's not interesting.

Announcer: Mega Drill Magisword!

Come on! Be annoyed!

Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!

Stop hitting yourself!

Do something interesting!

So then the bearded lady turned out to be

a trained flamenco dancer -- oof!

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

Your meal's cold. I'll overcharge you now.

♪♪

We're all you! You're swimming in yourself!

No, yeah!

Come on!

[ Grunting ]

I was supposed to get a large-scale reaction --

something to make this effort worth it!

What's the point in doing an experiment

if you don't get the results you want?!

[ Beeping ] Wait -- is that?

Yes!

You're detachment managed to max out my own Whine-O-Meter!

Thank you, Prohyas Warrior!

You're a great boon to science!

Ah, the authorities. For knowledge, probably!

Prohyas! Thank Uthor!

I'm so glad you're okay! But enough words.

On my way to find you,

I finally found the treasure chest of this cave.

It's all yours. You've definitely earned it.

Aw, nice!

Thanks, sis!

Earning a new Magisword will have made it all worth it!

[ Gulps ]

Announcer: Nailclipper Magisword!

[ Whine rumbling ]

Announcer: Boulder Magisword!

[ Screaming whine ]

Pthbbt!

♪♪

[ Upbeat music plays ]

♪♪

♪♪