Original subtitles

♪ Warriors for Hire are here ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ It's the name and career ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ For sleuthing siblings who quest ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ Which is what they do best ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ They have special tools ♪

♪ For which they are fools ♪

♪ These guys lose their mind when they collect and find ♪

♪ The Mighty Magi...swords ♪

♪♪

Announcer: At Warriors for Hire Headquarters! Squeaky clean!

[ Squeaking ]

There, good as new.

A clean sword is an effective sword.

Oh, I'm effective.

[ Sighs ] Prohyas, it sure is nice

to take a lazy Sunday

to clean up our vast collection of Magiswords.

Vastest and bestest.

I'm not one to pat myself on the back,

but...pat, pat.

And to think, there's a different use for each one.

Och, Taunting Jester Magisword.

You miss me, lady?! It's been ages

since I've been out on the battlefield -- ages!

Not that you could ever wield me worth a hoot!

Until you learn to keep your sassy mouth

and your brainwashing mumbo-jumbo under control,

no battles for you!

No battles for you.

Whoa. Whoa, Vambre.

Remember what we learned a while ago --

There's no such thing as a bad Magisword.

Oh, Leafy Baby, look at how big you've grown.

You're a leafy man now.

Carnivorous Plant Magisword? You kept that vile thing?

Last time he was around,

he nearly gobbled up our entire supporting cast.

He's even more dangerous than Taunting Jester.

Say what?!

How dare you compare my destructive power

to that puny, putrid plant?!

[ Growls ]

That's right! I'm talking to you,

you sad sack of mulch!

[ Growling ] I could make

a salad out of you,

and I'd still be hungry!

Ha, you can't even choke me down,

can you, maggot?!

Come on! Och.

Announcer: [ Sighs ] Tickle Magisword.

♪♪

[ Squeal! ]

You may have won the battle,

but this war ain't over yet!

Vambre: Oh, just put a sock in it.

Announcer: Missing Sock Magisword!

[ Both laugh ]

Prohyas, don't coddle the thing.

You'll reinforce bad habits.

Well...how can I not, Vambre?

He's just a big ol' puppy dog.

[ Chuckles ] Hnnngh.

You can housebreak a puppy dog,

but why not housebreak a Magisword?

What these swords need is a trip

to Warrior & Warrior Obedience School for Magiswords.

We have a side bweezeness now?

We'll make these

so we can use them on our next grand adventure.

[ Laughs ] All right.

Leafy Baby will be bringing me my slippers in no time.

[ Laughs ] Uh.

Announcer: Soon, on the training spot on the roof!

Get me out of this chair on the double, maggot!

Tut-tut, not until we're through with today's lesson.

Lesson one -- Helpful Hypnosis.

Your brainwashing capabilities, which you use recklessly,

may be helpful in adventuring if channeled properly.

So for your first assignment, I'd like to start

by brainwashing this test subject.

Hi. I'm Grup.

Lady, is this some kind of sick joke?!

Why, this critter ain't got no brain to wash.

Hey, I already cleaned my brain this morning,

even scrubbed behind my frontal lobe.

You know, I don't appreciate this stubborn attitude of yours.

Well, I don't appreciate

that phony-baloney accent of yours!

[ Gasps ] Oh, no, you did not, sir!

And a professor with no pants?!

You don't need a PhD to know that's wrong!

You -- You -- You -- Arrgh!

Excuse me, dear.

Announcer: Diving Suit Magisword.

[ Muffled screaming ]

Och!

That was necessary.

Any luck with your pupil, Prohyas?

Things are going great, Vambre.

See? We're hugging. [ Grunts ]

Um, Carnivorous Plant, could you maybe,

possibly [laughs] I don't know,

try not to crush my rib cage into powder?

[ Growls, hisses ]

Hey, hey! Maybe music will soothe

the savage botanical.

♪ Ohhhh ♪ [ Chomp! ]

Leafy Baby, no.

[ Pop! ] Gah ha!

[ Gasps ]

Forgot to take out the trash.

Well, now, that pea-brained plant

is onto something!

Forward, march!

Make me. [ Warble! ]

I could go for a nice march.

Left, right, left!

Company, halt! Fall in!

Oopsie-doodle. I forgot to take out the second trash.

Vambre, I hate to admit this,

but I think we need a teeny bit of help.

I suppose, but who would have experience

with both Magiswords and unruly childish behavior?

Mom!

Oh, hello, kiddos.

Hey, kids. Did you stop by

for your daily recommended serving of broccoli?

'Cause, you know, eight out of nine broccologists agree --

Mom! We're having a little issue with our Magiswords.

[ Whimpers ] No.

Don't eat Dad's broccoli.

Mm?

No!

Don't eat Dad. [ Muffled shouting ]

[ Chomping ]

Oh, dear, let me help you with that, hon.

Plant Magisword, spit him out!

Spit him out right this instant!

[ Growls ]

Ptooey. Norman: Thank you, dear.

[ Crash! ] That's a good

man-eating plant.

[ Purring ]

Whoa. Go, Mom.

Jester: Now drop and give me 20,

and you are gonna have fun doin' it!

Hut, two! Hut, two! Hut, two!

Oh, the militant type.

Put your back into it, soldier!

Atten-hut! Ma'am, yes, ma'am!

Cease hypnosis on the double!

That's an order!

Yes!

Why are my triceps on fire?!

Gee, Mom, you made our swords behave with expertise.

What's your secret? Oh, Prohyas, dear,

it's simple, really.

All it takes is a pinch of love...

[ Giggles ]

...and a big scooping handful of motherly discipline.

Both: Will you teach us your ways, oh, Mother, dear?

Well...

♪ Just some motherly lovin' ♪

♪ Makes the Magiswords behave ♪

♪ Or so goes the old cliché ♪ Aaah!

♪ Prohyas, dear, that sword can't hear ♪

[ Chuckles ]

♪ Your tiny mouselike whining ♪

♪ Be firm but kind ♪

♪ And you'll remind him ♪

♪ What's okay for dining ♪

♪♪

♪ And once he starts behaving ♪

♪ And no longer wants to fight ♪

♪ Provide him with a broccoli treat ♪

♪ So he knows he done right ♪

♪ Carnivorous Plant, roll over ♪

♪ Sit ♪

Hey!

I think I'm finally getting it.

♪ Treats won't work on Taunting Jester ♪

♪ He just wants to fight ♪

♪ Well, maybe if you spoke his lingo ♪

♪ He would treat you right ♪

[ Whistle blows ]

Attention!

♪ Come on, soldier, now's your chance ♪

♪ Make those woodland critters dance ♪

[ Twinkle! ]

♪ Just some motherly lovin' ♪

♪ Makes the Magiswords behave ♪

♪ Or so goes the old cliché ♪

♪ Oh, thank you, Mother dearest ♪

♪ Now we truly understand ♪

♪ That some motherly lovin' ♪

♪ Makes the Magiswords ♪

♪ Behaaaaaaave ♪

♪ And many more ♪

[ Screams ]

Ralphio,

what are you doing in the floorboards?

Oh, never mind that.

Never mind?

Do you know how much it'll cost to repair --

How would you kids like a free Magisword map?

Hmm? Eee! Eee!

Wait. What's the catch?

Catch? Whyever would there be a catch?

This will lead us directly to the Banana Peel Magisword.

Glee! Now if only we can

get there faster!

Ding!

♪ We need to increase our stride ♪

♪ Let's get us a mammoth ride ♪

Attention! [ Warble! ]

Good work, soldier.

Ma'am, thank you, ma'am!

♪♪

And now that we know how to control our Magiswords,

this will be our breeziest quest yet.

Company, halt!

It's Banana Peel Magisword.

[ Fanfare ]

[ Growls ]

[ Chomp ]

[ Mammoth trumpets ]

No-yeah. You led me straight to the bananas.

Convincing sheepy mammoth costume, isn't it?

Well, if it isn't my evil duplicate, Nohyas.

Close. It is I, you.

Stop saying you're me. It's obviously not true!

♪♪

What's wrong, Leafy Baby?

Vine-whip him into next Tweezday.

No-yeah. Vine-whip me into the next business day.

No-yeah!

Leafy Baby hurt me in his confusion.

♪ Listen, soldier, to this chant ♪

♪ Make Nohyas drop that plant ♪

No-yeah!

♪ I outrank you, Sergeant Sass ♪

♪ Use hypnosis on that lass ♪

Oh, sir, yes, sir.

[ Warble! ]

Look. I'm Maggieswording.

[ Both scream ]

Announcer: Brick Magisword.

Vambre: Warrior huddle? Prohyas: Warrior huddle.

Ow!

The problem Magiswords were doing so well.

Who could have predicted Nohyas?

We got to remind them who their real owners are.

If only we'd recently received advice.

♪ Just some motherly lovin' ♪

♪ Makes the Magiswords behave ♪

Or so goes the old cliché.

No-yeah. I like singing, too.

'cause I'm you, in case you forgot.

Also, we got a banana to catch.

Cabbagenoggin, Clownyman,

stay put while I grab the pointy banana.

♪ Just some motherly lovin' ♪

♪ Makes the Magiswords behave ♪

♪ Ra, ra-ra, ra, ra, ra ♪

♪ Ten-hut, soldier, sing this rhyme ♪

♪ I want you to step in time ♪

♪ Sound off ♪

♪ Motherly ♪

♪ Sound off ♪

♪ Lovin' ♪

♪ Or so goes the old cliché ♪

♪ No-yeah, time to make my thrilling escape ♪

♪ Hey! Now where'd my elephant costume gooooo? ♪

Ugh!

Yes. You'll have no bananas.

Both: Super Teamwork Combo! Meanest Guy Trap!

No-yeah. You're me.

That means I'm you.

Yeah, no. You're not me. I'm me.

I-It's not just me, right, me?

I don't know. You're asking me.

But that means I'm asking me.

No-yeah. And?

Or am I asking you?

Beats me, by which I mean beats you.

[ Both laugh ]

[ Alarm blaring ]

Yes.

The Magisword map was free.

The Magisword isn't.

Nine milliondy jemms, please.

Okay. First of all, that price is absurd, even for you.

And, second, you couldn't have sold us

the Banana Peel Magisword at your store?

Eh, I had 11 minutes to kill.

Announcer: Diving Suit Magisword.

[ Muffled screaming ]

♪♪