Original subtitles

♪ Warriors for Hire are here ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ It's the name and career ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ For sleuthing siblings who quest ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ Which is what they do best ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ They have special tools ♪

♪ For which they are fools ♪

♪ These guys lose their mind when they collect and find ♪

♪ The Mighty Magi...swords ♪

♪♪

Announcer: At Warriors for Hire Headquarters! Oooh! Bubbly!

[ Sighs ] [ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]

Nothing like a spa day to reward ourselves

after a tough day of saving kingdoms and thwarting baddies.

This big boy has definitely earned himself a bon-bon.

Come to Papa.

[ Laughing ] Mmm!

Indeed, we -- [ Laughing ] Mmmmm!

[ Clears throat ] Indeed --

Mmm!!

Prohyas, please! I do what I want!

We have had quite the rough week, what with

dealing with that sentient grease fire at Slugburger

and untangling Old Man Oldman from a tree...

That dang old tree almost won.

...and getting the Paper Bag Magisword away from Helmut.

There were so many puppets.

So...many...puppets!

Yep, we've definitely earned this.

Grup, dear, could you fetch me a fruity beverage?

Mint mango shake for the lady.

Ah, thank you.

What could be better than a hot soak

in a nutritious blend of five essential fruitramins?

This -- Dr. Ralphio's Smug Mud mud mask mud.

[ Chuckles ] Chunky.

I honestly do not understand the benefit of overpriced dirt.

Mineral-enriched overpriced dirt, Vambre.

You don't look this good

without taking immaculate care of your face.

[ Whap! Whap! Whap! Whap! ]

Your sliced cucumbers, sir. Thank you, madam.

Thank you so much for catering our day off, Lady Hiss.

It's no biggie.

I also do massage, glassblowing, and friendship bracelets.

Uh, Prohyas, is this supposed to make my face tingle?

No. But you know what should be tingling? This tub.

Give it the Warrior bubble bump, would ya, sis?

With pleasure.

Announcer: Exploding Bubble Magisword!

Uh, Vambre, it's, uh... it's a little big.

I know! Wheee!

[ Knock on door ] Vambre, could you just --

[ Both laugh maniacally ]

Hark! A mysterious bearded stranger's at the door.

I'm sorry, mysterious person we don't know,

but we're closed for the day.

[ Gasps ] That's not a mysterious bearded stranger!

That's Mysterious Hooded Woman!

Ugh! It's me, you mud puppies!

[ Gasps ] That's not Mysterious Hooded Woman!

That's -- That's...

Puff Head the...Headpuff?

Are you serious?

It's me -- Princess Zange!

Ow!

Goodness, Princess, that looks atrocious!

Yeah, what's the haps, Puff -- Did you call the surly warlock

"Baldy Baldy Bald-Bald" or something?

Some dupemaster general just stole

my Auto-Style Magisword.

It's the only thing that can tame my royal 'do!

If I don't get it back, I'll face the worst fate imaginable!

Being suffocated by your own hair?

Never being able to see your lovely princess face again?

That last one is terrifying, but no, even worse --

paparazzi.

[ Indistinct shouting ]

I can't be seen in public like this.

I'll be the gigglestock of Rhyboflaven!

My royal rep will be ruined!

[ Whining ] You two have to help me get it back!

Gosh, Princess, that's really unfortunate,

but it's kind of our day off, and we --

We'll do it, Princess. Vambre!

Can't you see my stress level is off the charts?

♪ Unconvincing stress, ooh ♪

Excuse us a moment.

Warrior stinking Huddle!

Prohyas, Zange is our closest friend and half our clientele.

You, of all people, should be sympathetic

to her cosmetic plight.

Oh, come on. I'm not that narcissistic.

How many steeds did you want yourself riding upon

for that self-portrait, sir?

[ Clears throat ] S-S-Seven. S-Seven stately steeds.

Okay, fine! We'll do it! But I won't like it.

Oh, hush! You're right.

I'll love it.

Feel free to hide from the pepperonis here, Princess.

Let our talented stewards Lady Hiss and Grup

attend to your every whim.

I'm already dressed and ready to sleuth.

So am I! I mean, dressed, that is.

Let's get this over with so I can take a nap.

Announcer: Soon at the Rhyboflaven Bazaar!

Vambre, why are we walking when we have hoverswords?

Because a mystery must be solved by a vigilant hunt for clues!

Just like Veronica Victorious.

How many box tops did it take to get that getup, again?

628.

Hmmm. This must be a clue.

Uh, sis?

Hmm. "Dirt" rhymes with "hurt."

Hurt feelings, feelings of jealousy.

Uh, Vamburrito?

Jealous of the princess's curly locks!

Dear brother, the culprit is someone

who wants to steal the princess's looks!

Huh. That narrows it down.

Uh, but I think you got to refine

your detective skills, sis.

The culprit is most definitely here!

Where were you approximately today, but earlier?

M-M-Making a batch of my delicious broccoli, ma'am.

Was that before or after you stole the princess's Magisword?!

Uh, Vambre, my bet's on the place next door.

Oh, boo!

Boy, I haven't felt this swanky

since that goat took a nap on my head.

Halt, Old Man Oldman!

So, the proprietor of this stand

specializes in Zange cuts, do they?

Sure do. Quick as a flash, too!

My keister was barely warming the seat before they were done.

Hmm. Hmm.

Unhand that Magisword, Phil the Pilferer!

So I can go back home and smother my face in chocolate.

Why, hello, Princess Zange.

Oh! And you brought Princess Zange!

Would you like your 730th haircut today?

[ Groans ] I can't believe it was this easy.

Oh, this isn't gonna be easy!

Princess Zange: Careful, little dude.

Oh, my gosh, Princess! It worked!

How's it look?

[ Indistinct shouting ]

Aw, phoo! Let me give it a try.

[ Grunting ]

[ Panting ]

Oh! I have an idea.

Oh! Boss!

[ Birds tweeting ]

♪♪

[ Clank! ]

Ohh! Holy fri-jo-les!

Phil: What are you complete strangers doing?

Can you keep it down out here?

Gadzooks! Keep your hands off my stylist

before I have you arrested for harassment!

Did somebody say "arrest"?

Are you two bothering this good business owner?

Officer, literally nothing about this man

or his bweezness is legitimate!

Disrespectfully disagree, strange woman

who I've never met.

Fille is a fully licensed cutterer of hair.

All right, you two, move along. Leave this barber alone.

[ Groans ] Listen, Officer...?

Fordor. Zidane Fordor.

Officer Fordor, that man is the perpetrator

responsible for stealing Princess Zange's Magisword.

[ Whispering ] Phil whistles innocently.

Which is right there!

Do you need some post-haircut trimmings, Princess Zange?

Seriously, you two, move it along.

Leave this man and his beautiful assistant alone.

That's a Magisword, not a human!

[ Groans ] That's it! I'm just gonna take it!

Aaaah! My luscious locks!

Phil: That will be 500 jemms.

[ Groans ]

I suggest you pay the man.

We wouldn't want it to get fighty in here.

But I -- he -- they -- [ Groans ]

Fine! Whatever! Whatever gets us home faster.

That's a good citizen.

Now that I've successfully kept the peace, I have

a three-hour nap I've been planning for a while now.

It's my day off, you know.

So you two better behave while I'm gone.

[ Both growl ]

If you want to fix those frazzled curls,

[ Singsong voice ] conditioner will be extra!

Or perhaps you can take the Magisword for free? Yes? Good.

Announcer: Ugh! Finally! Back at Warriors for Hire!

Hey, Princess, here's your Magisword.

Oh, my gobbledy gosh!

You two are the best friends I could --

Yes, Zange, love you, too. Always happy to help.

Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.

Just know if you ever need help, you can always call on

Warriors For Hire starting tomorrow.

Ahhh.

Warriors! Oh, my gosh!

Aah! Huh?

Wow, Zange, it's quite the gun show.

Why didn't we get tickets to that?

It's a stunning likeness of me, really.

But this impostor of me is ruining my royal reputation!

How'd this perpetrator get ahold of your clothing

anyway, Princess?

Are you sure that's not you?

My entire armoire was stolen right out of my room!

[ Chuckling ] This one could wait until tomorrow, right?

Prohyas, if you don't want to help me, just say so!

I'll just sit here as my entire kingdom decides I'm a criminal,

overthrows me, and Rhyboflaven society crumbles!

This is the worst day of my life.

I'm free! Oh, no, you don't!

No, no! Why don't you express your feelings?!

[ Chuckling ] Geez! Please keep your customary cool, Zange.

We know how much it takes to bother you this much,

and we'll go investigate, even though we really need to rest.

And you can stay hidden from the potatorazzi.

[ Indistinct shouting ]

[ Gasps ] They've found me again!

Well, this day just keeps on giving.

Announcer: Cardboard Replica Magisword!

Whee! Whee! Whee! Whee!

[ Indistinct shouting ]

10 jemms says it's Phil. Och.

Oh, look! It's Phil, selling Zange's wardrobe.

How utterly shocking.

Hello, there, complete strangers.

How would you like to purchase

a genuine piece of royal princesswear?

Both: [ Wearily ] Super Teamwork Combo.

Stickerwicky.

I also have nightgowns!

♪♪

Phil: Thank you, Thomas. That is enough.

Their wrists must hurt, printing six editions a day.

So, what are you all in for?

I started a grease fire at Slugburger as a distraction

to steal the cash register, but I got caught.

Also, it came to life.

I threw an old man into a tree to rob his house,

but I got caught.

He nearly won, though.

U-Unpaid parking tickets.

But how did such talented sneaky thieves

as yourselves get caught?

Both: Those pesky Warriors! The Parking Bureau!

Well, it appears nearly all of us have a common enemy

in need of a little disproportionately

petty revenge!

Get closer. C-Closer.

Gently, now.

Perfect!

Well, I think we're finally done.

Any other incredibly labor-intensive things

you need done on our day off, Princess?

Listen, I totes understand I've been a big bummer on your vacay,

and I, like, wanted to apologize for that.

Oh, thank you, Princess. That certainly sets my mind at ease.

I-I'm gonna go enjoy what's left of our day off.

Have fun, you know, wearing clothes.

That's why I'm gonna offer you the reward of a lifetime --

by letting you use the Rhyboflaven Royal Spa!

Both: Spa's in the what, now?!

Welcome to the Rhyboflaven Royal Spa!

Both: Ooooooh! Come on in, guys!

The mud is fine!

And the milkshakes are buttery-smooth!

[ Slurps ] Ahh!

It's only supposed to be for the Rhyboflaven royal family,

but whatevs.

The more, the merrier.

Last one in's an empty Magisword bag!

♪♪

Blech! Why did I do that?

Finally! Nothing can ruin our day off now.

Not even if Phil were piloting a giant robot.

[ Thudding footsteps ]

No, no, no, no, no-no-no-no-no-no-no!

It seems you are certainly enjoying yourself.

Unfortunately, we must ruin your day

for interfering with our respective plans.

Convictormen, roll call!

Naso! Convictorman Black!

I'm the dark brooding one with a lonely mysterious past.

Right arm! Birda!

Convictorman Green!

I'm the cheeky, mischievous one

who masks her feelings behind jokes and sarcasm.

Left arm! Purrlance,

Convictorman Blue!

I'm the bubbly, fun-loving one that keeps morale high

with my playful naive spirit. Legs.

And I, Phil, am Convictorman Phil!

I am the mastermind of the operation

and totally your favorite character.

I form the casaba!

Together, we are... All: Jailtron!

Now, we will be handily defeating you

through the power of teamwork, right, team?

All: Right! [ Growls ]

Announcer: Muscly Arm Magisword!

Phil: [ Laughs ] Your pesky little Magiswords

will do nothing -- [ Growls ]

Phil is beginning to wonder

if he should've done something else with his evening.

Prohyas: Goodness, Phillip. You seem so stressed.

Let me loosen up those tense muscles for you.

Announcer: Hot Oil Magisword!

Sweet Great Uncle Francisco!

Let me get out those knots for you, sir.

I can't...feel... my eyes!

Those shoulders look awfully stiff.

They might need a little acupuncture!

Announcer: Cactus Magisword!

[ Laughing maniacally ]

All right, I definitely didn't sign up for this.

Phil: Do not give in, teammates.

We can still do this! They can never defeat us.

We are unbeatable! We are one! We are --

Yeah, we're outta here.

Thieves can only be

See ya! Good luck, Phil.

How did trusting thieves not work?

Oh, look -- It's the thief that almost ruined my entire life

three times in one day!

[ Chuckles ] Look, Princess, seeing as I've turned the jail

into a giant robot and sunk it into your pool,

I believe you have no choice but to let Phil go.

I think I'll put your sorry butt to work instead.

[ Sighs ] Finally, a Warrior-sized day off.

Don't forget to give ol' lefty a little gentle love there, Phil.

Prohyas has a case of the jemm foot.

Even when Jailtron loses, Phil wins!

[ Clink! ] Ow! I said "gentle"!

♪♪