Original subtitles

♪ Warriors for Hire are here ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ It's the name and career ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ For sleuthing siblings who quest ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ Which is what they do best ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ They have special tools ♪

♪ For which they are fools ♪

♪ These guys lose their mind when they collect and find ♪

♪ The Mighty Magi...swords ♪

♪♪

Announcer: On the outskirts of Rhyboflaven!

I like that word -- "outskirts!"

Are we there yet? You realize,

in addition to payment,

Fud is offering a little extra Neapolitan guacamole on the side

for getting those Neapolitan avocados, right!

You're just now telling me this!

The delicious flavor of a scaly avocado combined

with the advanced taste of strawberry, vanilla,

and chocolate

all mixed together with diced tomatoes

and special spices, the perfect concoction,

and all we have to do is find

that Neapolitan avocado a-tr-r-r-ee!

Oh, hey!

A Neapolitan avocado tree.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

No!

I've never seen you so emotionally invested

in one of our missions.

Vambre, haven't you been listening?

The delicious flavor of a scaly avocado combined

with the advanced taste of -- -Nope!

And all that's left is one of those dumb, adorable birds, ohh.

Prohyas, it appears it's just a standard,

old Neapolitan avocado -- as standard

as a Neapolitan avocado

can get, I suppose. -Avocado!

Announcer: Chainsaw Magisword!

Avocado, be mine! Prohyas, the tree

isn't that tall.

Avocado! It's not even close

to what Fud needs.

But it'll have to do under these circumstances.

[ Whimpering ] Is that your stomach?

No, but I like

What if it's a fire-breathing dragon?

Or a disgruntled, anthropomorphized unicorn?

I have the disgruntles!

Huh?

[ Whimpering continues ]

[ Bird chirps chucklingly ]

Oh, it's Robopiggeh. Poor thing.

"Poor thing"?

Prohyas, you do realize that thing chases us

off a cliff every week. -Look at him, Vambre.

The humiliation is so...endearing.

[ Clank! Clank-clank! ]

Careful not to gender it, Prohyas.

It's a robot, not a living, breathing --

[ Gasps ] I've got you, old girl!

Robopiggeh! Robopiggeh, how's it clanging, bacon bolts?

[ Sobs, mumbles ]

[ Screams ] Prohyas!

Announcer: Gummy Sticky Hand Magisword!

[ Boing! ]

They didn't seem -- aah! -- so territorial --

gah! -- earlier!

Huh?

Aah!

[ Whistle! ]

Are you okay? -Yeah, I think so.

[ Both gasp, bird chirps ]

Hmm? [ Dramatic tone plays ]

-Vambre, we broke him! -What do you mean "we"?

-Vambre! -All right -- "we."

But I have a fantastic plan that will certainly work,

and it comes with the old Vambre guarantee.

-The um... -The old Vambre guarantee.

Yeah, that's what I thought you said.

Uh, pretty sure that's not a thing.

-The old Vambre... -That's not, uh...

-...guarantee! -Why fight it?

Announcer: Wad of Gum Magisword!

[ Sobbing ] It's not working, Vambre!

It's not working!

Oh, Prohyas, I'm sure if we keep trying,

something will -- Hmm? [ Alarm blaring ]

Hey, "bubbers," what's going on?

-Hrmm! -Aah! It's little piggeh!

Calm down, Piggeh. It's gonna be okay!

[ Whimpering ]

Any chance you can tell me what this little metal

figure of you does?

Prohyas, you can't just ask someone

about their little, metal self-portrait?

I mean, really. -I wonder what it's for.

Aah! Piggeh!

♪♪

Oh, brocco bits, now I feel terrible.

Vambre, we have to follow him!

I suppose I'm curious to know where it's going.

And...? And the undeniable sense

of guilt.

Oh, hey, I need to grab something before we go.

♪ Prohyas is serving ya serve-for-realness ♪

♪ Serving it up with his new best friend's arm ♪

Ready to go, "Accessory Jones"?

Ready to look 30% snazzier than usual!

All right, let's go.

Both: Follow that Piggeh!

[ Owl hoots ]

Both: Galacton!

It's been a while since we've entered Galacton,

Prohyas, and we've no idea

how its treachery has waxed or waned.

Are you sure about this? -I feel like we owe it to him

after, you know, sawing his arm off and everything.

[Sighs] All right. Let's carry on then.

Robopiggeh: [ Whimpering ]

[ Clank! ]

Retrieval successful. Welcome home.

Eee!

[ Whimpers ] Huh?

[ Sobs ]

Robot: Analyzing defect in unit.

Both: [ Gasp ]

Vambre, they're doing something to our baby!

We have to help! Don't be so skittish,

dear brother.

We need only take a closer look to understand

this fancy new contraption.

Hmm, it appears to be some kind of fanciful,

luminescent glass, nothing like the stuff

on our windows at home.

Wow, that's a really good observation.

You should be a deteca-tive. Huh?

[ Sneezes ] -Prohyas, are you sick?

Don't be silly, Vambre!

It's just that my big, beautiful eyes are

so sensitive to light. -All right.

Well, I'm going to get this glass cylinder open.

Also, you've got a little something on your nose.

Announcer: Ground Pound Magisword!

Brace yourself, Piggeh-boo!

[ Whistle! ]

Robot: Ninnies detected. Initiating petty revenge.

♪♪

Both: [ Scream, grunt ]

[ All scream ]

[ All grunting ]

Hey, there's some neat junk in here.

Huh?

[ All scream ] [ Gasps ]

[ All scream, grunt ]

Both: Robopiggeh!

R.P.-unit 1.3, you're suppose to be --

Vambre: I beg pardon, madam.

Hello, Miss..uh, I'm gonna assume

your name is... Magimobile Face?

[ Beep! ]

[ Electronically ] I am Tara-Byte Version 11.0 actually.

I am terribly sorry for my brother

and for Robopiggeh dropping down into your --

Vambre?

I'm going to be optimistic here and say "office"

rather than "lair."

I'm Vambre, and my simple sibling here is --

Prohyas: Hey, Vambre? Vambre? Hey, Vambre.

Vambre. -Prohyas, what -- Ooh!

So cool!

I've never seen a magisword quite like this one before.

[ Gravelly voice ] What's it do?

Where did you get googly eyes?

[ Normal voice ]

[Gravelly voice] Don't tell her my beauty secrets!

[Normal voice] Hush, now.

What do you peasant folks know about magiswords?

Only that they're the coolest!

Announcer: Totally not a magisword!

Oopsum, poopsum.

Announcer: Excaliburger Magisword!

Behold my power!

[ Laughs ]

[ Chomp! ] Oh, how humble.

That particular magisword is above and beyond

the capabilities of anything you two might have.

I have no particular use for it,

but I'd like to keep it out of the hands

of lower life forms.

Pardon? I assure you we have

far more impressive magiswords than that one.

Agree to disagree.

But if you don't mind, this is a repair depot, yes?

If you would be so kind as to reattach Robopiggeh's arm,

we'll be out of your proverbial hair.

Huh?

-Whoa! -Whatcha doing?

Dismantling this piece of obsolete scrap.

It is best for spare parts, if even that.

This is an R.P. 1.3.

We're already up to 10.0.

You can't just destroy a living critter!

It is not a "critter."

It is a robot -- an obsolete robot.

And if there is anything I cannot stand,

it is obsolescence. [ Cheery tune plays ]

[ Ominous tone plays ] Both: Eek!

We can just take him back then.

You don't need to disassemble him.

I'm afraid that is not good enough.

Obsolescence is suffering.

My existence as a 1.0 was torturous.

But after upgrading myself to my 11.0 incarnation,

I have become far more modern,

at least for the time being.

This mere 1.3 simply cannot make it

in such a rapidly-changing world.

So if you think about, I am doing it a favor.

Male voice: It sounds like you are monologuing.

Would you like some help dispatching your foes?

Tara-Byte: [ Imitates buzzer ]

Guard: Squee. Squee. Squee. Squee. Squee.

-Aw, geez. -Ultra-piggehs?

Wait, why are we walking away?

Announcer: Boulder Magisword!

Guards: Squee. Squee. Squee. Squee. Squee.

Aw! Big rocks usually solve problems.

We're not licked yet.

Announcer: Microwave Magisword!

Fly Swatter Magisword!

No matter how many hams we can, there's still more!

Mm-hmm. Mm!

[ Growls ]

[ Clank! Clank! ] Hmm.

Mm, hmm?

[ Grunting ]

Mm, mm-hmm!

[ Strike! ] What? What?!

[ Strike! ]

Wow, Robopiggeh, really thinned out

the -- And there's more.

R.P.-1.3, cease this insubordination.

-[ Grumbles ] -Heads up!

[ Strike! ] [ Grunts ]

[ Bonk! ] Owwwwwooh.

Announcer: Legendary Hyper Space Magisword!

Both: Legendary?

Yes, legendary.

This magisword is light years

beyond the rudimentary comprehension

of you peasants.

Um, "years" is a measurement of time, not distance.

Think you're so advanced. -She said "light years."

Why does how much they weigh matter?

[ Whimpering ]

That seems like an adequate distraction.

Look, brother, I don't know what our code of ethics

may or may not be, but I think if we're able

to steal that magisword away from her...

[ Honk! ]

we can save Robopiggeh's life.

She doesn't even

As far as I'm concerned, let's do this!

-Would you do the honors? -I'm on it!

Announcer: Magnet Magisword!

Why have you R.P. 10.0 units not dismantled this fool yet?

[ Whimpering ]

[ Warble! ] What the junk?

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

Wait. Hold on. Stop. Stop.

Here, let me -- [ Winces ] Aah.

Back off, bacon!

Announcer: Mummy Magisword!

Hi-yah!

[ Sighs ] Och.

Is there anything else you can do?

Don't you have little rocket feet or something?

Mm! [ Grunts ]

[ Whimpering ]

Okay, okay, okay. There, got it.

Nnngg!

Let's see what this baby puppy can do -- huh?

Dismissed.

[ Both scream ]

-Oof! Owww! -Aah!

-Ow! -Where are we?

Hello, ladies and gentlemen!

I am Ralphio, for Ralphio's House of Swords!

It's a veritable emporium of metal objects that do things.

We have swords that look like this.

We have swords that look like this.

We have absolutely no swords that look like this.

We do not sell those here. So, no, folks.

This is the Fresh Squeeze Magisword.

It can make you lemonade, limeade,

or any other ade you can think of.

How much would you expect to pay for a handy, dandy,

little gizmo like this?

300 jemms? 400 jemms?

[ Ding! Ding! ]

Well, I can sell it to you for no more

than 1,000 jemms, yes! [ Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! ]

Yeah, and if you act now,

I'll throw in a free puppy.

Don't ask where it came from. It's a puppy.

You like puppies? Here's a puppy.

And if that's not good enough for you jackals --

Uhh, what else do I have? Mmm...

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

I'll throw in a free slime.

So, come to Ralphio's House of Swords,

hidden in the dingy recesses of the back of Mount Ma'all,

located in Rhyboflaven,

just pass the insignificant things that aren't Mount Ma'all.

♪♪

No, seriously, where in blazes are we?

One minute we're bashing bots, and now we're here.

Well, it appears we're outside of Tara's lair

and in some sort of flower field.

[ Sniffs ] Dang, this smells pretty.

Lavandula Angustifolia.

Ooh! Can I get my field of flowers jargon-free please?

Thank you. Why, it's common

garden lavender, dear brother,

and it makes a splendid cup of tea.

But I don't think it's native to Galacton.

Yeah, I didn't get any of that.

All's I knows is I'm "laven-da" atmosphere here!

Mm. It's beautiful.

Aah! Too beautiful! Oof!

[ Laughs ] Their kisses tickle so much!

Prohyas, stop harassing those poor butterflies!

But they started it.

This is no time for butter-smooches, Prohyas.

Have you forgotten that Robopiggeh is in mortal danger?

Wow, Vambre, I didn't think you cared.

Well, it is our job

even if it is Robopiggeh --

you know, us being warriors for hire and all.

Works for me.

Let's save Robopiggeh! Hyper Space Magisword!

Prohyas, wait!

The last time we used that thing,

we were randomly sent here.

We have no idea how it works. It could fling us into oblivion!

Right, right. Got to care about oblivion.

Well, what do we do then? Well, Galacton can't be

too far from here.

Maybe we can ask someone for directions?

[ Echoing ] I think I'm way ahead of you, Vambre!

Prohyas, wait for me!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, now, duders!

Careful! Aah!

Little gentler next time, butter buddies.

Wendell: It's always gentle here,

my cerulean brother.

[ Blubbers ] Who said that?

-Up here, cousin. -Huhhh?

[ Slurp! ]

Welcome to my lovely love bog, my friend,

where the love is free and good times never end.

I'm Wendell the Love Grub, and this chubby

little pillar here is my pal, Grub.

Hi. I'm Grub.

And what do the children of the world call you,

my silky-haired bub? -Prohyas, my good man.

And this sweaty gal is my punky sister, Vambre.

[ Panting ] Charmed.

-Groovy! -Yay!

Here at the Love Club, we always love to meet

new buds, especially ones wearing such retro duds.

-Retro? -Thanks, my man.

Uh, this is warrior street chic straight from

the land of Rhyboflaven.

-Far out! -"Far out"?

Is Rhyboflaven really that far from here?

Don't be so square, Vams.

Get with the lingo. I understand the "limbo"

perfectly, Prohyas,

and my hips are fine, thanks.

Weird.

[ Laughs ]

Wendell loves a good joke.

Grub, brew some lavender tea for these fine folk.

Yes, sir. Oof! I'm okay.

Oh, if not for this confounded robo caper,

I would so stay for a glass.

Unfortunately, we have no time.

What's the rush? Time is what you make of it.

Sit a spell. Rest a bit.

Listen, Wendell --

An adorable robo-pal of ours is in a bit

of a dangerous pickle at the moment,

so we got to am-scray straight to Galacton

and save them ASAP.

Unfortunately, we're super lost and don't

know how to get back.

Gosh, sorry to hear that's the way things be.

But, here -- [ Sitar plays ]

Have a sympathy hug on me.

Mm, mm, mm!

I simply adore your hugging, warriors.

Wow-za! That's quite a grip you have there, Wendell.

I'm a level 16 Hug Maestro, my brother.

-Wow! -Oh, it comes with the territory

of a love-dealing grubber.

Gee, Wendell, do you know who also loves hugs?

Our friend Robopiggeh, who is trapped -- in Galacton.

-And he's in mortal danger! -Perhaps you could give us

directions so that we may return there?

That sounds extremely unfair.

Too bad Galacton is neither here nor there.

But I'm sure if you look deep inside your heart,

you and your friend will never be apart.

[ Slurp! ]

Now's really not the time for quick, relaxing,

or cryptic poetry, Wendell.

We're in a major crisis! -Oh, my violet sis,

I feel your tone, but it's too harsh for my Zen zone.

-What did you just say? -I said --

Okay! Warrior huddle. Excuse us a moment.

I know he's annoying.

Maybe if we speak his language, he'll give us what we want.

I'm sorry, Prohyas. It's just been a long day.

Hi. I'm Grub.

I gotcha, sis. Just follow my lead.

I'm sorry, my brother, for wrecking your groove,

but our essence is time, and we got to move.

Psst, Vambre! -Oh, yes.

Uh, our friend is in an awful bind.

It's important that we find, uh, them?

[Laughs] Now you're speaking my language.

♪ So you say your friend is a friend in need ♪

♪ Well, we all know hugs are the perfect deed ♪

♪ With a bond so strong and a bond so tight ♪

♪ In the darkest times, It'll shine a light ♪

♪ 'Cause there's so many parts to hug ♪

♪ Hug ♪ ♪ Yeah, there's

so many parts to hug ♪

♪ If you got a friend who is far away ♪

♪ Use your mind to hug, you won't go astray ♪

♪ The world may be massive from end to end ♪

♪ But a loving hug has the power to extend ♪

♪ 'Cause there's so many parts to hug ♪

♪ Yeah, there's so many parts to hug ♪

♪ A hug's an act of brotherly love ♪

♪ With arms that reach to the stars above ♪

♪ Hugs could be what the world's made of ♪

♪ 'Cause there's so many parts to hug ♪

That's right!

♪ Yes, there's so many parts to hug ♪

Golly, Wendell, that was a swell song.

Now can you tell us how to get to Galacton?

-By Jove, that's it! -What the what-what?

Wendell's flower-child nonsense, Prohyas --

"Use your mind, you won't go astray."

To get back to Galacton, we just have to concentrate

on where want to go when we use

the Hyperspace Magisword! [ Chuckling ]

Of course!

Y-You sure your song wasn't just about hugs?

Hmm.

Anyway, time to resume our climactic third act.

Indeed!

Here, Wendell, a little something

for your wisdom and hospitality.

Whoa-ho-ho!

Warrior kids with a far out treat,

I pray that you and your old friend meet.

Ohh, our only Neapolitan avocado.

It's not like it was enough to make guacamole

for Fud anyway, Prohyas.

So long, taste-bud adventure.

Enjoy, Wendell!

If you're ever in need of Warriors for Hire,

do give us a call. -Hm, nice lettering.

Come on, Vambre, it's time for us to go back

to the futuristic city of Galacton!

And rescue Robopiggeh!

-Smell ya later! -Cheerio, Wendell!

Well, what do you know? It worked!

Tea is ready! Ooh!

[ Crash! ] I'm okay.

Yee-haw! It's worked -- I think.

Tara-Byte: You little medieval thieves.

You thought you could infiltrate my --

[ Sneezes ]

You thought you could infiltrate my lair.

We demand you tell what you've done with Robopiggeh!

[ Bing-bong! Grrnt! Bing-bong! ]

[ Laughs evilly ]

You're too late, fleshy spelunkers.

That unit has already been dismantled --

not that it matters.

Seize them now.

Your little R.P. 1.3 Unit has been sent

to my dismantling plant.

Once we deactivate its head processor unit,

it will be melted down to be made

into far superior Turbopiggeh 10.0 models.

Did you hear that, Prohyas?

Gee, Vambre, if only we had

something to teleport us to Robopiggeh!

Wait, we totally have something to teleport us to Robopiggeh!

Get them! Yahh!

All right, let's see if we can find Ro-- Oh, my goodness!

They're piggehs, Prohyas.

But which one has our piggeh? [ Grunts ]

Prohyas, this is Robopiggeh's arm!

Follow that pig!

[ Bloop! Warble! ]

Both: Robopiggeh!

[ Warble! ] Robopiggeh: [ Mumbling ]

Oh, no you don't!

Announcer: Parrot Scissors Magisword!

Hee-ya!

-What the -- -Heads up, Nerd-Bot!

How dare you? [ Groans ]

Robopiggeh, buddy, tell me you're okay.

Vambre, they're not responding!

Maybe we just need

Robopiggeh's brain can't be that complex, right?

[ Dramatic tone plays ]

I-I don't think any magiswords can fix this, Vambre.

We're just a couple of rough and tumble warriors.

There's no way we can reassemble a robot pig brain.

Oh, Robopiggeh! It didn't deserve this.

[ Warble! Whistle! ]

Nerd-Bot: Connection to server lost.

Please provide directive.

Connection to server lost, please provide directive.

How about you repair our friend, you squat little trash gremlin!

Invalid administrator. Hurtful, snarky request denied!

[Sighs] I tried.

[ Clang! ] I'm Tara-Byte.

I don't understand the value of friendship.

I want you to fix Robopiggeh as a joke

so I can use them for a footstool.

Administrator Tara acknowledged.

Commencing reconstruction of R.P. 1.3 unit.

[ Buzz! Whir! ]

Your footstool is ready, Madam Administrator.

[ Honk! ]

[ Mumbles cheerily ] Both: Robopiggeh!

Tara-Byte: You clearly are all defective beyond salvaging.

I was going to spare you the privilege of being recycled,

but now I think I'll just have you...

incinerated!

Guards: Squee. Squee. Squee.

-Yeah, okay, time to go. -Hyper Space Magisword!

[ Chuckles nervously ] Prohyas, it's not working.

Tara-Byte: Outmoded simpletons.

My Hyper Space Magisword can only be used

three times per day.

-Ehh, Vambre, we have company! -Squee. Squee. Squee. Squee.

Tara-Byte: Unfortunately for you,

history will not be repeating itself.

[ Sneezes ]

-Squee. Squee. Squee. Squee. -Where are you going?

Now you have done it. I have to file a bug report.

Turbopiggeh targeting systems

inordinately prioritizing butterflies.

And send.

Now, then, I suppose I shall deal with you myself.

[ Modem beeping, static crackling ]

She's launching some sort of sonic attack!

We must get out of here before she scrambles our eggs!

Robopiggeh, buddy, is your rocket still working?

-Oh, dear. -Okay, plan "B."

Announcer: Rad Rocket Magisword!

[ Laughs ] We are totally not moving.

Why are we not moving?

Tara-Byte: You will cease performing

this illegal operation.

She certainly is persistent.

Let's give her a hard reboot to the face!

Announcer: Electric Eel Magisword!

Magnet Magisword!

Both: Super Team Work Combo! Electro-Magnet!

What the --

[ Screaming ]

[ Bing-bong! ]

Golly, Grup, where could those warriors be?

You think they're being a couple of lazy taters?

[ Both screaming ]

Vambre, we're coming in too hot!

I've got it covered, Prohyas!

Announcer: Panda Chute Magisword!

Robopiggeh, be a dear and slow us down.

Robopiggeh: Mm-hmm!

[ Whistle! ]

I mean, how hard is it to pick a few Neapolitan avocados?

Hello, my friends. May I inquire?

Is this the home of Warriors for Hire?

Yeah, that's us, but, uh, Vambre and Prohyas aren't back yet.

Oh, there they are!

Did y'all find any Neapolitan avocados?

-No. -My midori madam,

do you perhaps mean these colorful fruits

that taste like ice cream?

Whoa, Wendell! Where did you get those?

I planted the seed and watched it grow,

then its fruits more ripe to sow.

How? It's only been 11 minutes.

Well, Wendell's love is the potent sort.

My garden's growing time is short.

Well, this certainly is enough to make a batch

of Neapolitan guacamole.

Both: Yay! [ Mumbles excitedly ]

Why, hello, my tall, tin amigo.

Have a free hug on me-o.

Mm?

[ Crank! Crank! ] How's it looking,

Prohyas?

Well, the body is shot,

but at least I got the head working.

Our floors are so clean! Robopiggeh: Mmm!

For more information on hugs, please check out

the following books --

"It's Not Just for Trees Anymore: Hugging

for the Concerned"...

"Squeeze Me, Sneeze Me: The Guide to Hugging When

Your Friend Has a Cold"...

...and, of course...

Both: "Veronica Victorious and the Embrace of the Face!"

All of these and more available at The Printed Page

in Rhyboflaven's Mount Ma'all.

In the second floor of the west wing

adjacent to Jeff's Item Shop.

What the Grup?

♪♪