Original subtitles

♪ Warriors for Hire are here ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ It's the name and career ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ For sleuthing siblings who quest ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ Which is what they do best ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ They have special tools ♪

♪ For which they are fools ♪

♪ These guys lose their mind when they collect and find ♪

♪ The Mighty Magi...swords ♪

Announcer: At Warrior's for Hire Headquarters -- balmy!

Oh, it's been so, so long since our last mission.

What I wouldn't give to be young again.

If only we'd gotten a chance to use this new magisword --

Bonehead Magisword -- my bitter soul would rest in peace.

Alas, I have expired.

[ Grunts ] How was that?

A bit over-theatrical,

and you took your character in a rather dark direction.

What is the essence of your character?

Boredom. Hey!

[ Chuckles ] Hey!

Are you okay, Gramps?!

Meh. It's just Prohyas and Vambre.

Well, if it ain't the Broccoli Dumplin' kids.

Didn't your parents teach you any manners?

No, but they taught me how to throw a wicked spiral!

Why are you so mean to Grandpa?

What're you guys even doing anyway?

Exploring the ancient art of acting!

-Pretending to be old people. -Oh, so boring stuff.

Have you guys done anything actually cool lately?

Well, we got this totally rad -- I mean --

durn spiffy Bonehead Magisword the other day.

All: Wow!

What kind of awesome adventures did you use that on?

Saddle around and let Grand-Prohyas spin ya a yarn!

It all started back last week when I was young...

We were venturing into the mystic and foreboding

One Room Temple.

The wind was calling our names.

So, uh, you interested?

[ Imitating Humphrey Bogart ] Not today, sweetheart.

Not today.

[ Normal voice ] We walked past Mount Ma'all

and into the nearby jungle...

Zonq: Oh, yeah the nearby jun-- nearby jungle?

Upon arriving, we opened its mighty doors!

We turned to face a terrifying borfl guard!

Nord: Wait, borfls? Aren't they, like, two feet tall?

Two feet of pure terror!

Luckily, we devised an ingenious plan

with our new Bonehead Magisword.

[ Screams ]

And with the beast bested,

we opened its chest to find...

[ Both gasp ]

This rock.

Uh, what's the "D" stand for?

Uh...Da... Danger!

"D" for dumb!

[ Laughter ]

Wow, tough crowd.

Well, then perhaps you'd like to hear a better tale.

All: Yes, please!

We were trekking to the Harrowing Mount Disc.

Are we there yet? No.

Are we there yet? No.

Are we there yet? No!

Are we there yet?

And there we were, faced with a difficult puzzle.

Both: Hmm.

-Hmm?! -Luckily, it was no match

for our powerful wit.

Both: Yay!

Vambre: And, inside, we found an invaluable treasure!

All: Ooh!

What did ya get?!

15 whole jemms --

that we used to pay our rent.

Oh, come on!

That story was even worse than the one before!

You two are the lamest warriors ever!

At least we don't live with our parents!

Okay, we're leaving.

Can you imagine feeling threatened by children?

Who even would even hire these guys anyway, even?

[ Loud thudding ]

[ Groaning ]

Little ones, this is home of Warriors for Hire, no?

All: Muh, muh, muh!

Both: Eee!

That would be us, good sir.

How may we help you, gorgeous?

Ah, hello, Warriors!

I am Krakov. I have come from across

the Barren Faceland after strenuous battle.

I am in need of someone to retrieve

a healing potion for me...

in the Cave of -- how you say -- Gelatinous Doom!

You hear that --

Gelatinous Doom! Meh.

Well then, Krakov, feel free to take a load off, my friend.

Because the Warriors for Hire are on the case!

Many thanks!

Both: Gelatinous Doom, here we come!

[ Chuckles ]

Where's the Cave of Gelatinous Doom again?

Here is map. Thanks, duder!

Both: Be back soon!

Want ya play ball? [ Screams ]

Finally, a mission worthy of our superior warrioring skills,

which is located...

directly below us?

Whoa there, cowgirl. Save that for the cave.

We got a long one ahead of us.

You know, now that I think about it...

[ Grunts ] ...I don't recall seeing

any caves in the Kotassium Pass.

Maybe that's because the map says it's behind this.

Oh. I'm sort of insulted that that fooled me.

And now I'm too excited to care.

[ Giggles ] Wait, how do we get in?

[ Russian accent ] Placing of rock is to be

causing the entrance hello.

I guess nobody's been here in awhile?

You first.

[ Grunts ] Wow, this cave is dark!

Aw, these guards are adorable!

Why are these guards adorable?

Oh, mind games.

It's probably to lower our guard.

How exciting!

Time to see what this place is made of.

[ Grunts ] What this cave is made of--

[ Grunts ]

Whoa, whoa!

What the? Where are the dangerous traps?

Where are the mind-bending puzzles?

Hmm. I think you're standing in it.

You mean all I have to do is...

[ Fanfare plays ]

Well, maybe the difficulty builds up?

It had better, or this is officially

the lamest cave in the history of adventure.

This is officially

the lamest cave in the history of adventure!

Why is this cave so easy?!

You know, now that you mention it,

this room does look kind of similar.

Is it even any bigger than the last one?

Hang on, I'll check.

Eh, eh, hold on. Uh, hmm, boy.

Let me... Give me a sec here.

You know, I think -- I think the gap is actually smaller.

That's it, I'm calling Grup.

Great work out there, Grup!

Thanks, Lady Hiss. You too.

Cave of Stuff, Grup speaking.

How may we slightly inconvenience you today?

Grup, dearie -- [ Chuckles ]

Can we pick your brain for a moment?

Oh, sure, guys! What's up?

Grup, no phone calls on the clock!

What if this is a matter of life and not-life?!

So how are things?

Grup, we're in a cave called, uh...What was it?

[ Russian accent ] Cave of Gelatinous Doom.

Do you know anything about it?

Hmm...Well, there's no cave named anything like that

in Lyvsheria, as far I know.

Oh, it sounds a little like the Jelly Dome.

That's a level-zero cave.

Both: A level-zero cave?!

[ Screams ]

Thank you, Grup. You're a dear.

Actually, I'm a giraffe. Toodles!

[ Sobs ] I wanted adventurer!

This is less adventure than our rocking chairs.

But what if it were?

Explain. Yes, this cave

may eat toenails.

However, with a little imagination, method acting,

and a healthy dose of denial...

even the most pathetic cave can be full of adventure!

So what do you say, lass?

I have a hat.

Let's do this!

Let's fake some serious action!

[ Funky music plays ]

[ Splat! ]

Here we are, Vambre, at the final boss!

Let's not keep that mighty beast awaitin'!

Prohyas, this cave -- ech, Prohyas.

Ech! It's completely eroded my patience.

Hey. Chin up, Vambs. There's only one room left.

And if the rest of the cave has been any indication,

it's gonna stink!

And I can't bear the thought of facing this epic stink

without my big sister.

Wow, Prohyas!

That's your best acting performance yet!

Yeah. [ Chuckles ] Acting...

Where are all the little slime guards for this door?

Probably being ineffectual somewhere else.

Style and elegance!

Running in a straight line!

It's kind of dark in here, don't ya think?

Oh? And who's "we"?

Uh, I don't speak slime -- completely lost here.

[ Growling ]

Finally, something worthy of...

Announcer: Bonehead Magisword!

[ Growls ]

Um, nope.

[ Roars ]

Okay, okay, I think I get it now.

[ Both scream ]

Someone's angry!

[ Laughs ] Oof!

Over here, jelly brains.

Gulp. [ Roars ]

Eee! An actual challenge!

Run for it, Prohyas!

I love needing to run for it!

Ning!

Catch me if you can, doopy-goopy!

Aw, done already?

[ Roars ] Attaboy!

Combat roll! [ Chuckles ]

Come and get me, boogerman.

[ Grunts ]

Aw, poo. Is the action over already?

Uh-oh.

Eek!

Hmm?

Eee! I was almost crushed by boulders, Prohyas!

Aw, lucky!

Uh, hi? [ Screams ]

Over here, slime man!

[ Blows raspberry ]

[ Roars ]

Announcer: Snowball Magisword!

[ Grunts ]

[ Sighs ] Alas, too easy.

Whoa! Slush man, slush man!

Announcer: Rad Rocket Magisword!

See ya, slimesicle!

Lead him to me. Lead him to me!

Don't mind if I do!

Announcer: Exploding Bubble Magisword!

I'll trap that rascal with th-- oops.

Not what I had in mind, but I can dig it!

Whee!

Uh, Vambre? Can you please slow down?

[ Giggling ] No!

You weren't trying at all, were you?

Guilty! Uh-oh.

[ Roars ]

Can we make it warm up to us? On it!

Announcer: Radiator Magisword!

Ow! Ha-ha!

He's putty in our...

Hands?

[ Grunts ]

[ Both laugh ]

Okay, my bones ache now.

Let's finish this!

Hey, there, big fella.

If we can't beat ya...

Let's make it a pleasure to meet ya.

Together: Super teamwork combo -- bone-doggle!

You want a hypno-bone, boy?

[ Grunting happily ]

Good, Slime Beast.

Wow! Who knew slimes could be so formidable?

I know, right?

That was the most danger I've been in in weeks!

[ Grunting ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Popping noise ]

Both: Treasure! Squee!

[ Wah trombone ] A tube of Magisporen?

We could have just bought this at the store for two jemms.

Well, I can't say I didn't see this coming.

[ Tone chimes ]

Oh, my goodness, this is the best loot ever.

How will our lives ever be the same?

Announcer: Yeah! Well, that cave was

a roller coaster of emotion.

But we're helping a fellow warrior in his time of need.

-Go long, Krakov! -Incoming, childrens!

[ Chuckles ] Look at their tiny legs move.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Krakov, buddy, what gives?

We thought you were mor-tally wounded.

Yeah. You were panting and addlepated and everything.

What? [ Chuckles ] Oh, no, no, no.

Was tired from walking through all of desert.

But am much better now!

Then why did you send us to get you a tube of Magisporen?

[ Laughs ] Oh, yes. Many thank yous for this, my friends.

Krakov stubbed pinky on skull of desert rattlesnake.

[ Chuckles ] Very better.

No way Krakov could fit through tiny cave door.

Here is money. So, my friends,

do you want to play the catching of the ball?

Both: Sure.

Nyando: Nyin-coming!

[ Grunts ]

[ Upbeat music plays ]