Original subtitles

♪ Warriors for Hire are here ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ It's the name and career ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ For sleuthing siblings who quest ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ Which is what they do best ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ They have special tools ♪

♪ For which they are fools ♪

♪ These guys lose their mind when they collect and find ♪

♪ The Mighty Magi...swords ♪

Announcer: In the Deepest Darkest Woods! Spooky!

That monster had, like, 27 legs!

All of them covered in thorns.

And its 13 tentacles oozing blue slime.

Absolutely horrendous.

[ Laughs ] Awesomely disgusting!

I mean, is it even possible to imagine something

that looks even more awful than that?

[ Growls ]

[ Screams ]

-[ Yelps ] -[ Caws ]

[ Whimpers ]

Aah! Sweet bacon-y cheese and crackers!

What in the name of Grup is that thing?

Eh?

Oh, Vambre, it's just a poor doggy stuck up in a tree.

Are you sure that's a dog and not some other creature

who ate a dog and is wearing its skin?

Here, boy. Let me help you down.

No, no! Don't touch it!

Here you go, fella.

That's a good doggy.

Yeah. Hmm.

Yes, well. Ugh...

-Oh, now he's done it. -Huh?

Once again, Mama Prohyas gets all warm and fuzzy

with some weird creature, and the next thing you know,

it's ruining our lives!

That couldn't possibly happen again.

See? Even the most unsightly of creatures

needs a little T-lovin'-C.

Fine. Let's get out of here, P-dang-it-Q.

Bye, doggy!

Announcer: The next morning at Warriors for Hire Headquarters!

-Bubbles. -It's time for the annual

kingdom-wide Cave Theming Competition,

and our bosses just shipped us our supplies.

Our theme will be -- doo, doo -- trains!

We even have the new...

Announcer: Choo Choo Magisword!

We're gonna wear overalls and have cute little hats.

That is awesome! What are trains?

I have no idea.

And we'll have tracks and crossing signals

that go "Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!"

All right! That's adorably non-threatening, Grup,

but we really must be on our way.

No! I haven't told you the best part!

You can tell us when we get back from the gig

we're about to go to.

Now I'm steamed!

[ Train whistle blows ] [ Chuckles ] I don't get it.

We have a full docket of employment for the week.

First we go to the bazaar.

Look what I found!

[ Screams ] Put that putrid pup down!

Hey, that's not very nice.

Nice, shmice! That abomination gives me

the williams something fierce.

Well, I'm not moving from this spot until

you show this sweet innocent doggy some love.

What? Come on.

The sooner you make nice with him,

the sooner we'll be on our way.

[ Chuckles nervously ] Hello, dog thingy.

There now, don't you feel better about yourself?

Let's go to the bazaar. See you later, poochums!

Well, it's all over now.

Now that you've touched this hideous hound,

it knows your scent.

It's never gonna stop following you ever!

I've seen it before. You're doomed, I tells ya!

Doomed!

Wait, wait, how can you have seen something before

that I haven't seen?

Doomed!

Thanks for moseying on out here, Warriors.

I done lost my contact lenses again.

Both of them this time.

I plum can't see doodly squat!

Um, Mr. Buford, sir, we're over here.

I'd like to hire y'all to help me,

if it t'weren't a trouble.

We don't know the meaning of the word "t'weren't."

We seriously don't. I have an idea

that should bring things into focus for you.

Announcer: Cardboard Replica Magisword!

And ker-glasses!

Well, mow my mustache!

It's the right prescription and everything!

Now that you can see again, Mr. Buford,

perhaps we can start by retracing your steps.

I was over here by my manager shack,

and then I went over to the curtain stand

trying out the merchandise.

Willikers! Whoo-hoo!

Oh, good gravy, no!

Hey, our doggy pal is back.

Wha? Well, pluck me bare and cook me for supper!

My contact lens case.

It must've fell twix the slats of my manager shack.

If it weren't for that creepy little critter,

we may never have found them.

-Say what? -Well, if I didn't

know any better, I'd say our fuzz buddy here

is some kind of good luck charm.

You don't know any better.

Thank you, kindly, Warriors.

I know I can always count on you most of the time.

Um, yes, well, pleasure doing business with you.

On to our next job, Prohyas.

See you later, puppy pal.

Talk about easy money.

We barely had to do anything at all.

Perhaps that ragamuffin is some sort of totem of triumph.

Wrong, maroon eyes! It's a canine curse!

That hideous hound is obviously an agent of evil!

Evil?

Announcer: Friday at Warriors for Hire -- Aah!

This has been, like, the peeziest week ever

thanks to that little poochums.

Fuss.

Oh, come off it, Vambre.

You can't deny how helpful he's been.

It doesn't make him any less unsettling.

[ Ringtone plays ] Hey, Grup.

How goes it, ducky?

Oh, it's going great.

We left on kind of a cliffhanger.

I was gonna tell you the very best part.

We got ourselves a secret weapon

that's sure to win us the contest.

Our crown jewel to the whole thing will --

[ Growls ]

[ Both scream ]

Dear sweet mother of magnesium!

It knows where you live!

You got to get rid of that thing

before it gets rid of you first!

That tears it.

Remember your breathing exercises.

[ Grunts ]

Now you listen here, you daft brown thing.

You're a disgusting twit of a poodle!

You're an oaf, a belching bulldog.

Malformed mongrel.

Terrifying tail wagger!

You, you hideous hound!

You are grotesque and malevolent,

and no one likes you!

Now leave us alone!

We never want to see you again!

Vambre! How could you be so cruel,

and to an innocent little doggy?

I did what had to be done.

He just wanted to -- Aah!

Yeah, help himself to devouring your eternal soul

or something. Good job, girly!

Thank you, brain. Now, let's go read

the new book,

"Veronica Victorious and the Eventual Come-Uppance."

Righty-o!

Announcer: 10 seconds later!

Ahh, and now that I've done that, what's next on the docket?

Well, it looks like Fud wants us to go get

an extra ancient radish from the Dinosaur Kingdom.

Excellent. Yeah, and even though

you frightened off our good luck charm,

I'm sure this mission will go super smooth anyway.

Soon in the Dinosaur Kingdom!

This is not going smooth at all!

[ Both screaming ]

Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope!

Aah!

Oh, crud, a wall!

Boulderdash! Dinosaurs!

We're positively trapped!

If this past week has taught me anything,

we're gonna be okay. How?!

Because despite your best efforts,

that dog that's been following us is gonna show up and save us.

What? Where's the logic in that?

Watch. He'll be right here right about...now!

Um, Prohyas.

Any minute now. Prohyas.

Any minute now. Prohyas!

Any minute! Any minute! Any minute! Any minute!

Prohyas, stop it!

If you think that's going to do anything,

you're dumber than a dinosaur!

Oops.

Uh... [ Dinosaurs growl ]

Nice going, Vambre.

Both: Aah!

Announcer: Soon at Warriors for --

[crash!] -- Hire Headquarters!

Ouchies! [ Both groaning ]

Warriors, what in the chicken neck is that?

I'm sorry, y'all, but I might as well go get

an ancient radish from the store at this rate.

Wait, they sell -- Bye, y'all.

[ Both groan ] Oh, man.

That mission could not have gone worse.

Why'd you have to scare off that lucky dog?

Lucky? We warriors don't need luck.

We're lucky that dog didn't show.

Good riddance. [ Ringtone plays ]

Hello? Warriors for Hire.

[ Grup wailing ]

Pugcake!

Pugcake is gone!

Whoa, slow down, duder. Just what is a Pugcake?

The most beautiful dog.

Pugcake promised us -- verbally -- that he'd help out

with our entry for the cave contest!

He was our secret weapon, but -- but we can't find him

anywhere, and the contest's tomorrow!

Bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo!

Nice going, Vambre.

Now Pugcake's missing and Grup's crying

'cause you had to be mean, you big meanie who's mean.

But I-I...

I am a big meanie!

[ Sobs ]

No more. Grup, dry your eyes.

We will make it our mission to find Pugcake.

Bloo-bloo-- really? Really?

Yes, really, Grup. We'll bring him back

faster than you can say "Where's Pugcake?"

Where's Pug-- Don't tempt fate, dear heart.

Now we're off to find that dog!

Yay!

Ye-- Oh, boy.

So, Vambre, you got any ideas on

where to start looking for the, um, Pugcake?

Well, Prohyas, I --

Vambre! What are you doing?

Don't you go looking for that dog! He's bad news!

Now, you listen to me, you incompetent cranium.

I have had it with your paranoia!

That dog was no danger to us.

You are! Ow.

So sit back and listen to me,

because we are going to find that dog

and we are going to make this right!

You got that, pinky? That's right, you poof away!

Uh, o-okay. Do you have any idea where Pugcake is?

Uh, no.

[ Both sigh ]

Although, Pugcake always showed up when we needed help.

If only -- wait a minute! That's it!

Announcer: Soon at Frostferatu's castle!

Pugcake always appeared whenever we were in need of assistance,

and where would we need more help

than in dealing with Frostferatu?

Hey! Warriors, you kids get off of my lawn!

That's our cue.

What? No, don't fly up here.

Ice gargoyles, attack!

-Aah! -Aah!

[ Growling ] Aah!

Pugcake! [ Gasps ]

Announcer: Waffle Magisword!

[ Grunts ]

Pugcake, where are you, dear heart?

Here, Pugcake! Here, poochie, poochie!

I need your -- Aah! Help!

Announcer: Wad of Gum Magisword!

Gum doesn't work on ice.

Gum doesn't work on ice!

Oh, no, Prohyas! [ Grunts ]

Well, now we actually need help.

Oh, you're quite right you do.

You horrible heat dwellers.

You dare approach the newly refurbished castle

of Frostferatu.

Once I've dealt with you both,

I can move on to my next goal --

covering all of Lyvsheria in a blanket of ice!

Do you have any last words?

I'm sorry.

[ Chuckling ] Yes. Now die -- what?

You did nothing deserving of my ire.

How could I not have seen how kind you are?

Well, gee, I didn't know you felt that way.

I'm sure it's just all a big misunderstanding anyway.

Please, if you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

[ Chuckling ] All is forgiven.

Please, come back with us.

Oh, why not? I hear Rhyboflaven

is lovely this time of year. When do we leave?

Not you, ice breath! I'm talking to the dog!

Oh, I see.

You were talking to a dog.

Just where is this dog so I might turn him

into ice and then destroy you both?

Together: Behind you.

Gah!

How is anything that ugly?!

Stay back! Stay back forever, you ug-- Wha-a-a-aah!

Why am I not turning into a bat?!

[ Crash! ] Announcer:

Muscley Arm Magisword!

Together: Yeah! Pugcake!

-Good boy, Pugcake! -Sis, I'm so proud of you.

Not only did you find Pugcake after all,

but you overcame your fear of him after all.

Yes, but he's not so bad

once you get to know him after all.

Now let's get him to --

Announcer: Soon at the Cave of Stuff Contest after all!

-All right, Cave of Stuff. -Fear!

I'm this year's contest judge,

and I'm here to rate your cave's ability

to produce new and interesting themes.

Seen it, seen it, seen it. Terrible fake skeleton prop.

-Hey! -Well, ladies and gents,

I think I've seen everything here.

[ Screams ]

[ Grunting ]

Oh, wow, I just -- I just never seen anything so weird.

I-I love it!

It's so fresh, so new!

Here you go! Cave of Stuff wins!

All: Yay! Pugcake!