Original subtitles

♪ Warriors for Hire are here ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ It's the name and career ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ For sleuthing siblings who quest ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ Which is what they do best ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ They have special tools ♪

♪ For which they are fools ♪

♪ These guys lose their mind when they collect and find ♪

♪ The Mighty Magi...swords ♪

♪♪

Announcer: At Ralphio's House of Swords!

Shopping spree!

[ Both laughing ]

You're 200 jemms short, you know!

[ Groans ]

Your doopy Oogly Googly Eye Magisword

is no match for my Rubber Spiky Magisword!

Oh, yeah?

Well, "eye" beg to see your point.

[ Both laugh ]

Sorry, sis, but your boinky-boinky sword

couldn't even harm a teeny tiny fly.

[ Gasps ]

Poor Bibby! He's gone all blue!

Goochy goochy goo.

[ Giggles ]

Hey, hey, hey! Off of the merchandise!

Sorry.

Oh, it's Papa Kotassian.

I didn't know you shopped at Mount Ma'al.

Getting a little something for the majesty, I suppose?

What? No!

I've been trying to get hold of you two monkeys all day.

There's big trouble in Little Kotassium.

Trouble? Who's eating the muffin king now?

Not us. We've solemnly sworn off muffins.

[ Munching ]

This is a cupcake, I swear!

It's not the king that's being eaten.

It's the whole kingdom, kit and caboodle!

All our houses are being eaten

by two huge, nasty, savage Trollblins.

Oh, Trollblins!

Remember the time we helped some build a skating rink, Prohyas?

Yeah, my booticus is still sore from falling down all day,

but not as sore as from that last time

we fought some wild Trollblins.

[ Shudders ] Warrior huddle.

What's the matter, Prohyas?

Afraid of being sat upon again?

One, I'm not a chair,

and I need everyone to respect that.

Two, the last time we dealt with the Kotassians,

they tried to noogie you into oblivion.

Those guys are weirdos.

[ High-pitched ] Maybe I can help you change your mind. Hmm?

Ooh! Imagine all the Magiswords you could buy

selling off that thing.

[ Chuckles ] We'll do it.

Announcer: Soon!

In the half-destroyed village of...Kota!

[ Roars ]

[ All screaming ]

My roof!

Ninja gasp. Ninja flee.

Together: Aah! Who could've known

our vegetable homes were so highly edible?

[ Screaming ]

Hm?

[ Spits ]

[ Sobbing ]

♪♪

[ Screaming ]

Announcer: Boulder Magisword!

Boomerang Magisword!

Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

[ Screaming ]

[ Sighs ]

Ahh, there's no better way to spend a Sunday afternoon

than watching enemies of the throne get pulverized.

[ High-pitched ] That's right, Papa K!

Eat sphere, you filthy beast!

[ Grunts ]

[ Chuckles ]

Boulder-dash.

Announcer: Electric Eel Magisword!

[ Laughs ]

[ Slurping ]

Announcer: Lobster Claw Magisword!

Hey, watch the scarf! You'll reveal my tan line.

Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!

All right, no more Mrs. Ice Warrior.

Snowball Magisword!

Get beat by the sleet of defeat!

Eh, rhyming. Yech!

Huh? Out of ice already?

Danke!

Eh?

[ Groans ]

What's with these guys?

They just eat everything we throw at --

Golly gee, at least my house was spared.

Mwah!

No man turns me into a snowman!

Announcer: Microwave Magisword!

Come on. Defrost, defrost!

I don't want to set the clock. I want to defrost.

Eggplant Parmesan?

Pumpkin pie?

I can hardly reheat pizza rolls with that thing.

Thigh hair? Thigh hair?!

Give it back. Give.

Look, we can split the sword!

I'll just take it on alternating Thursdays and -- Aah!

Whoa! Have some chill, little man.

What some what?

Dude, like, we wouldn't hurt a living soul.

Wait, so you don't realize

that you've been terrorizing a town this whole time?

I can believe it. [ Grunts ]

[ Chuckles ]

What? Who said that?

Did you say that?

Nah, I thought you said that, dude.

-Dude! -Dude!

-Dude! -Dude!

-Dude! -Dude!

-Dude! -Dude!

Announcer: Microphone Magisword!

Dude, look down below!

Oh, sorry for the scare earlier, little dude.

Aah! My tan line!

We Trollblins can be a pretty rowdy bunch when we're hungry.

How can we make it up to these little dudes, you know?

Even out our karma and all that?

Uh, we could...

Apologize to the Kotassians, leave this area,

and never be heard of ever again?

Together: Invite them to a righteous picnic!

-Whoo! -Really?

Well, all that battling made me hungry.

Besides, they seem like all right fellers.

Oh, and here's your cooking doohickey back.

Albeit slightly oafish fellers.

Sharing with our neighbors is the least we could do.

Yep, mi vegetable patch es su vegetable patch.

Vegetable pa-- Oh, dear.

I think these fellows are too big to know they're in a town.

I think perhaps they can't even see the Kotassians.

Ah, this looks like a nice clear spot.

Aah! The end is nigh!

Nice warm doom is upon us.

You know, I think you may be right.

-You two! -Ow, ow, ow!

What the Kotassian are you two doing?!

I hired you two buffoons to exterminate those Trollblins

for my own entertain--

the betterment of my kingdom!

Now get back to the sword and savagery

or you can kiss that golden statue goodbye!

-Come along, Prohyas. -[ Groans ]

Let us go settle this matter with words.

Words?! You can't break any bones with those!

Um, excuse me, fine gents, but you may not be aware

that what you have in your possession is in fact --

Huh? There's that voice again.

Dude, I think it's your stomach. Try eating.

[ Chuckles ] Tchyaw.

Och.

Announcer: Tomato Magisword!

[ Screams ]

Dude, that's the gnarliest tomato I've ever eaten.

There's plenty more where that came from.

Announcer: All the food-related Magiswords!

Feast your face, Trollblins.

[ Munching ]

Good going, sis.

Now that we've fulfilled their appetite,

it ought to be a cinch to get their full attention.

As I was trying to say earlier --

[ Yawns ]

I don't think they chewed.

Dude, I think I feel a food coma coming on.

Snooze.

We better take care of this before Papa K notices --

The palace!

The Trollblins attacked our king!

This means war!

Does it?

General Nok Nok, assemble the troops!

Sir, yes, sir!

Don't lose your heads, fellas.

It's a standard food snooze.

There's no reason to -- And they're going to war.

Launch the lettuce!

Wait a tick.

So eating the veg is right out,

but it's perfectly fine to use them as artillery?

Got to love honest weirdos.

Release the raspberries!

[ Yawns ]

Fire the figs!

Ah-choo!

Aah! [ Grunts ]

[ Snores ]

[ Groans ]

With all due respect, Papa Kata--

You! You two did this!

Ooh! Once we get rid of those Trollblins,

we gon' conquer you good!

-Eeh. -Eeh.

Sir! It seems that none of our vegetable-based attacks

are making a dent in the Trollblins' defenses!

Oh, really now? Why, I didn't notice.

What else have you discovered in the magical realm

beyond your naval!

Man, you better have a counterattack

after blowing my mind like that!

As a matter of fact, we only have one option left.

All we can do to protect ourselves is...

the big one.

The big one? The big one?

Do it.

♪♪

[ Whistling ]

Incoming!

Like, seriously? It's raining melons!

Aah --

Whoa, there's a dude in the food!

Huh?

[ Whimpering ]

I believe there's a bunch of little dudes in the foods, dude.

If you want something done right,

you got to do it yourself!

Aah! Huh?

Dude, I think they're elves.

Bro, do you, like, make cookies?

Or toys?

Or -- Or, like, cobble shoes?

Those are offensive, diminutive,

individual stereotypes, and --

Dude, chillax. We meant nothing by it.

Tchyaw, dude, you're going straight from blue to red.

I'll teach you to compare me to a common elven laborer!

Aah!

How do we keep the Trollblins and Kotassians

from destroying each other?

We can't pick a side.

Well, we better come to a neutral decision in about...

Aah!

-...five seconds. -Ding!

Okay. [ Whispering indistinctly ]

You've got to be kidding.

Announcer: Brick Magisword!

Cardboard Replica Magisword!

Together: Super Teamwork Combo! Puppets of Love!

Aah! Huh?

Gather 'round, neighbors. It's story time.

Dude!

The village of Kotassium was peaceful and sound,

its real estate made out of food from the ground.

Now?

-No, Grup, not now. -Oh.

The wee people there were all set to relax.

-How about now? -No, Grup, not now.

-Okay. -I'll tell you when.

Till the mountainous Trollblin came looking for snacks.

Now, Grup, dear.

Hey, that's me.

[ Both cheering ]

Dude!

-No! -Jerks!

Jerks!

Oh, I'm already bad at this!

Now, now, children. Let's continue.

The Trollblin was hungry for midday lunch fare.

Well, I am kind of peckish... on my mom's side.

But picked it not realizing people lived there.

Say what, now?

The Trollblin naive, but not meaning ill will,

sat down for a picnic, his tummy to fill.

Okay!

Even if he picked a safe place to eat,

he might have looked twice before taking a seat.

No!

[ Both crying ]

[ Slurps ]

The Kotassians faced him, determined to fight.

But though they were angry, did that make them right?

Oh! The humanities!

With peaceful discussion, why, each side could see

that everyone needs space, a place they can be.

Prohyas: Can't we all just get along?

[ Crying ] Yes!

Grup, Grup, the pathos, down a notch.

So let's learn today the trebuchet and sabre

can never beat love and respect for your neighbor.

Oh, it's dark.

[ All crying ]

Did that have to rhyme?

This isn't the...hour.

So much emotion! [ Crying ]

[ Crying indistinctly ]

Dude, it was, like, totally our bad.

We were, like, on a total food vision quest.

But, you know, we didn't know it was, like, your pad food.

Could we repay you by, like, helping you grow some new digs?

Yeah, sure, whatever floats your boat, I guess.

[ All cheering ]

Wow, New Kotassium is shaping up beautifully.

I'll say!

But where did all the non-tomatoes veggies come from?

Not our Magiswords, to be sure.

My vegetable Magiswords, they're gone!

It is a mystery,.

Well, happy trailblins, Trollblins.

Later, little dudes!

[ Munch! ]

So, Papa K.

About that Kotassian treasure.

Technically, kiddos, you didn't destroy

the Trollblins, like I originally asked.

[ High-pitched ] Yeah, you don't deserve me!

Yoink! Darn!

I thought that would work.

Together: To Ralphio's!

Well, at least all the weirdos are gone.

[ Rumble! ]

[ Roars ]

Get the puppets!