Original subtitles

♪ Warriors for Hire are here ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ It's the name and career ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ For sleuthing siblings who quest ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ Which is what they do best ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ They have special tools ♪

♪ For which they are fools ♪

♪ These guys lose their mind when they collect and find ♪

♪ The Mighty Magi...swords ♪

♪♪

Announcer: At Warriors for Hire Headquarters! Boring!

[ Both groaning ]

So bored!

Boredom is within me!

I'm so bored, my eyeballs are bored!

I'm so bored, I'm gonna gnaw on my own hair!

[ Munching ]

That's doopy, and also I'm still bored!

[ Munching ] [ Doorbell rings ]

-I'll get it! -I'll get it!

I'll get it! I'll get it!

I'll get it! I'll get it!

I'll get it! I'll get it!

I got it! Uh, package for

Mister -- uhh, ehh, Grup?

I'm Grup, that is me. [ Crash! ]

Announcer: Boulder Magisword! Here you go, shorty!

Ooh! My rock and stick play set! Ooh, ooh, ooh!

Aw, I wanted to get the door.

♪ Poke, poke, poke, poke ♪

♪ Poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke ♪

What is that? It's the new model! 10.0.

Ooh! May I play, too?

Uh, no. You guys don't know how to share.

What!? That's outrageous! We --

Prohyas: Oww! Ow!

[ Gasps ] Prohyas!

Prohyas! Oh dear, hang on!

[ Grunting ] Oww!

Hang on! Oww!

Hang on!

[ Straining ] Please stop!

Announcer: Bunch of Little Holes Magisword!

Heeee-yaaah!

One, that was, like, the coolest!

Two, that was wicked mean nearly crushing me to oblivion.

Prohyas, you know I would never actually mean to obliterate you.

[ Whining ] I wanted to get the door!

Hey, is that the new rock and stick?

Grup: Not sharing! [ Sniffles, whimpers ]

Oh, dear! Ooh! I know what would cheer you up!

Nothing will cheer me up.

Let's go see if Ralphio has any new magiswords!

I am cheered up!

-Oh, Ralphio! -Oh, Ralphio!

Vambre, Prohyas!

Care to try some delicious pickle chips?

Ralphio, I -- Pickle chips?!

Pickle chips?!

Pickle chips!

Best in the land.

[ Ring! ]

[ Rattle! ]

[ Ring! Squish! ]

We're just gonna go look at swords now.

[ Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! ]

Wow! Look at this one!

Brother! Inspect this sword!

It has spikies!

This one has a nose on it!

[ Giggles, snorts ] Why the nose?

This one's ooogly!

[ Gasping ]

Wow!

[ Shing! ]

[ Mumbling ]

Those aren't words. No. Use your words!

They're better than not-words. Hmm?

[ Both mumbling ]

So shiny, so wicked nitro-cool!

So star-shaped!

-Let's get it! -Let's get it!

-Ralphio! Ralphio! -Ralphio! Ralphio!

How much does the amazing shiny sword cost?!

Oh, you must mean the Super Shooting Star Magisword.

That pretty little number comes at the affordable price

of 1,000 Jemms!

-1,000 Jemms!? -1,000 Jemms!?

That's too much for just one magisword!

We're lucky if we made half that on our adventures!

Ralphio Sabreware, we shall take our "bweezness" elsewhere!

Good day to you, sir!

I said, "Good day!"

Hey! No running in my store!

[ Both panting, giggling ]

Warrior huddle! Okay, that sword is incredibly incredible!

I cannot fathom a world in which we do not own one!

Every moment without owning one is making me feel empty!

Why not have a pickle chip?

Before today, I liked pickles.

Okay, how much money do we have between us?

I've got...300 Jemms plus some grade-A pocket lint.

And I've got 450 Jemms and a silverfish.

I don't think there's any actual silver in it.

No! Not enough!

Okay. Time to dig deep!

[ Straining ]

[ Groaning ]

[ Pop! ]

Aha!

[ Squeak! Squeak! ] Ow!

Okay, all together, we have --

[ Beeping ]

1,000 Jemms!

Sweet! So are we okay with spending literally

all our money on a boss magisword?

I see no immediate problem with this plan.

Yeah!

3, 2, 1.

Ralphio! Guess what?!

We'll totally take the Super Shooting Star Magisword!

Excellent. Take it in good health.

[ Squeals ]

And while you enjoy your new magisword,

why not also enjoy some tasty pickle chips?

[ Zoom! ]

[ Both giggling ]

Ow!

[ Both giggling ]

Ow!

[ Both giggling ]

[ Door slams ]

-Whee! -Whee!

Both: It's ours! It's ours! It's ours!

We own it now!

This sword is so magnificent!

I wonder what it does!

Yeah, and I can't wait to try it out!

You know, Prohyas, we haven't actually decided

who gets to use it first,

but that's simple to decide with a loverly game

of rock, paper, scissors.

Let's ro-sham the heck out of bo.

Ro-sham-bo!

Announcer: Sticky Note Magisword!

Parrot Scissors Magisword!

Raaak! Scissors beats paper!

[ Gasps ] Mm.

All right! Now, let's see what this shiny baby can do!

Stahs!

[ Thunk! Thunk! Thunk! ]

Broccoli nuggets, that's keen!

My turn!

Stars!

Ooh! Flowers!

[ Sniffing ]

[ Thunk! Thunk! Thunk!]

[ Laughs ] This sword is quite impressive, no?

Absolutely share-worthy. Gimme.

I wanna shoot another tree full of stars!

Heeee-- Hello!

Ahh, it's a sword! Ooh!

That was uncalled for!

Sorry, Omnibus, but you startled me,

as has become your habit.

Oh, I need to sit down.

Anyway, I, the great Omnibus

have a magnificent mission for you.

Magnificent? Mission?

For you!

I need you to retrieve the ultra rare

Never-melting Ice Cube.

It's been stolen from me and whisked away,

and the thief was none other than Frostferatu!

He's the meanest, most devilish,

and coldest tyrant in all of Transylbiria!

If you can return it to me, I'll pay you both handsomely.

I'm handsome, and I likes to get paid!

Same! And with the ever-perfect Super Shooting Star Magisword,

we'll have this job complete in no time!

Pyew-pyew! [ Laughs ]

My turn! Pyew-pyew!

My turn! My turn! Pyew-pyew!

[ Laughs ]

My turn! Pyew, pyew, pyew, pyew, pyew!

[ Laughs ] Pyew!

[ Laughs ] Yes, brother,

but don't you think it's my turn?

Okay, here ya go.

Thank you, dear. Pyew, pyew, pyew!

And just one more. Pyew-pyew!

Hey, that was two more!

Oof!

[ Gasps ] Oh, my! This place is so foreboding!

It's like five-boding! So how do we get in!?

Hmm, well, there's an open window in that high tower.

I could use this Super Shooting Star Magisword

to create platforms that we can climb to get there.

Sorry, what?! See, I thought we could use

the Super Shooting Star Magisword

to shoot stars at the gargoyles, knocking them off their perches,

creating chaos that Frostferatu will come out to investigate

and thus we can sneak in around the back undetected.

That was a lot of words! Yeah, it was.

[ Splash! ] Rude!

We should use the Super Shooting Star Magisword

to cut a hole in the side --

No!

[ Both struggling ]

[ Gargoyle roars ] Eeee!

-Ice Gargoyles! -Ice Gargoyles!

Let's see how they like pointy shapes! Pyew!

Aah! Now, they're fabulous!

Huh?

Hey, hey! Watch the cape!

[ Swish! Swish! Swish! ]

Ooh! It's a roundy ice thing.

Yeah, what did Professor Cyrus used to

call them at Adventure Academy?

A proscenium -- parrot -- hat?

Pirouette!

Isn't pirouette a dance move?

Valid point, but still.

Silence! So, adventurers from Rhyboflaven

dare to approach the gates of my arctic sanctum!

Do you know what I do to anyone who steps within a mile radius

of my fortress of solid-cube?

One bite to your neck,

and you'll transform into one of my frosty, enthralled minions.

That is your fate when you are foolish enough

to enter the domain of the Lord of Snowmanpire's

Frostferatu!

Huh?

[ Shatter! ]

-Nope. Nope. -Nope. Nope.

This is an outrage!

Do you simpletons not know who I am?

I am the infamous, nefarious, terrifying --

-Nope. -[ Grunts ]

Not in here.

Not in here. Not in here.

Stop! That wall is made of load-bearing ice!

Oh! I hope we find the Never-melting Ice Cube soon.

I'm totally in agreement with you there, Vamburrito!

Stop rummaging through my things,

and tremble in fear of my glacial horror!

I just want to go home and practice with

Super Shooting Star Magisword some more.

True that!

Because there is nothing interesting happening here.

Whaaaaat?!

Ooh! I spy with my little eye

a chest atop that very high shelf!

I'll show you what happens to those who are foolish enough

to ignore Frostferatu!

Eh! Yea! Eh! Yea!

Eh! Yea! Excellent!

I'm not like most people. I like convenience.

Ding Dong Dang it!

[ Growls ]

Oh, Vambre! Dodge.

I have a suggestion. Dodge.

You look for the Never-melting Ice -- dodge -- Cube,

while I use the Super -- dodge -- Shooting Star Magisword

to -- dodge -- keep Fridgeratu at bay.

That's not my name!

Well-esteemed sibling -- dodge -- while I respect

such a plan -- dodge -- I --

Okay, let's do it! [ Giggles ]

Oh! Dodge. Oh!

[ Giggling ]

Ahh! Ohh!

What?! Hey, stop that!

How dare -- Aah!

[ Giggling continues ]

Ha ha! You missed!

[ Giggling ]

A polite suggestion.

If one was to start by holding the sword

high above one's head and then swing it forward

while throwing one's head back back,

you can throw much larger stars at a faster velocity.

I see, big sister. I just hold the sword up high,

and then swing thusly?

Ah, yes, just like this.

Excellent, I got it.

Don't think you have it quite yet.

Oh, I believe I do.

I have to disagree, non-eldest warrior.

Huh, I disagree with that, shorter sister.

[ Growl! Chomp! Clang! ]

Hey! Be careful!

Yeah! You could have chipped

the Super Shooting Star Magisword!

[ Growls ]

After a close call like that,

I think it's really for the best

that I hold on to the Super Shooting Star Magisword

for safe-keeping.

I stinking well don't think so!

I shall hold the Super Shooting Star Magisword!

No! Me! Me!

Me! Me!

Look, a distraction!

Ooh! A distraction? Where?!

I do so love a good distraction --

[ Growls ] Och!

[ Giggling ]

Why, you pseudo-en-clop-terix!

Why don't you slap an ostrich?

[ Giggling ]

Pocket change!

Anti-disestablishmentarianist!

[ Giggling ]

Ignore-a-mouth!

Horse whisperer!

[ Giggling ]

Ooooooooh!

Ker-stop!

[ Screams ]

Patent troll!

Cerebel-lunk!

[ Giggling ]

Hee-yaaah!

Scatter Clutz!

Brunch menu!

[ Giggling ] Och! Proofreader!

Nincom-stooge! Pickle?

Dunder sap! Lobster enthusiast!

-Mine, mine, mine, mine! -Mine, mine, mine, mine!

-Mine, mine, mine! -Mine, mine, mine!

[ Growl! Hiss! ]

-Mi-i-i-i-ine! -Mine! Mine! Mine!

-Miiiiiiine! -Miiiiiiine!

That's it! Now we end this!

[ Both struggling ]

Wait a minute! Why does he even own a refrigerator?

Both: The Super Shooting Star Magisword!

Ahem. Are you prepared to hear me now?!

He took my magisword!

He took my magisword!

-He took our magisword! -He took our magisword!

Now that I have your attention,

you will listen and hear the chilling words of --

Announcer: All the magiswords!

That yikes.

[ Both screaming ]

Announcer: Boulder, Cactus, Beehive,

Fireworks, Bling Bling,

Excaliburger, Tomato, Monobrow,

Chainsaw, Lobster Claw,

Shark Blade, Electric Eel,

Electric Razor, Mop,

Oinkus Oinkus,

Clapping Magisword!

Raincloud, Muscly Arm,

Rad Rocket, Ground Pound Magisword!

Hee-yah!

[ Ice cracking ]

Duder, we will gladly leave.

Simply relinquish the Never-melting Ice Cube

you stole from Omnibus and give us back

our Super Shooting Star Magisword!

No.

Announcer: Frog Missile Magisword!

Exploding Bubble Magisword!

BOTH: Super Teamwork Combo -- Ribbitz-Kreig!

[ Frogs croaking ]

[ Zoom! Whistle! ]

[ Croaks ]

There! Now was that so hard?

[ Accordion playing ]

[ Sloop! ] Ugh.

Announcer: Soon at Ralphio's House of Swords!

Ralphio, we're here to use our latest payday

to buy another boss sword so we won't bicker over --

-Ehh? -Ehh?

Pickle?

Ralphio, did you take down all the swords

just to get us --

Pickle?!!

♪♪