Original subtitles

♪ Warriors for Hire are here ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ It's the name and career ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ Siblings who quest ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ Which is what they do best ♪

♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪

♪ They have special tools ♪

♪ For which they are fools ♪

♪ These guys lose their mind when they collect and find ♪

♪ The Mighty Magi...swords ♪

♪♪

Announcer: At the Super Secret Thief Lodge!

No one will ever know!

♪♪

Man, the signal in here is really subpar, you know?

My fellow thieves, I, Phil, possess the Sharing Hammer

and, therefore, commence this Thievesheria Guild meeting.

Who wants to hear about my latest adventure?

I promise lots of violence and romantic tension.

Hey, I had the Sharing Hammer! Phil stole it!

That suspiciously looks like

my mother-in-law's eating pendant.

She wears it when she eats.

Naso worked really hard to nab that hat from

a do-gooding plumber,

and now that hat has nabbed by Phil?!

What happened to my turkey leg?

Uh, can you call me on my phone?

I'm afraid dropping it in the toilet before this

meeting might have ruined it.

Now, let us restore order in this --

Wow! Who re-stole the hammer?!

Poobah: T'was I, Phil.

And it's my turn for sharesies.

All: Grand Poobah?!

Poobah.

I'm choosing to ignore Phil's interruption

in favor of covering the topic at hand --

the annual Thief of the Year contest!

Because nothing says camaraderie

like bitterly comparing yourself to your peers.

We're at about the half-year mark and --

Wait. I'm in 40th place?

Order! Order!

Phil, you haven't stolen anything truly noteworthy

and kept it all year.

You've still got plenty of time to rise up the ranks.

But my Jemms, and other people's Jemms,

are on you not doing so.

Phil won't move up just a few lousy slots.

Phil vows to move up to the top of that list!

Ha! All: Ha-Ha!

That is my thing. Do not do my thing.

You'd probably need to loot all of Lyvsheria

to even make a dent in the ranks!

Yeah, maybe somethin' super impressive,

like that ol' Sheepy Mantis idol in the Sheepy Jungle.

Like that what, yes? Don't be silly!

That thing's guarded by a massive legendary beast,

and we all know that Phil is too small

to stand a chance.

All: Ha-Ha! Challenge accepted.

I do love to push myself to the limits.

The only thief with the right equipment is Naso.

I got the boots. I got the map. I got the -- Eh?

[ Laughs ] Why, I oughta

with several things

right in'a Phillio's fat booty!

Wow! That took moxie!

Maybe I will move Phil above that dog

that took my sandwich last week.

Let us take a look at this old mappity-type-map.

Neat!

This will be the perfecto way for Phil to rise up the chart.

However, I may need more substantial tools

to get through it.

Think, Phil, think! Oh-ho-ho-ho!

Phil has a plan of best!

Your method of sorting is absolute hogwash.

And your method of sorting is boring and sterile.

I think we should sort our swords

by how often we use them so we're always prepared.

Well, I think we should sort them by how awesome they look

so we can always make a good first impression.

I can't believe you would say all of those words at my face!

I am not going to argue with you

Grup: Ooh, I know!

What if we sorted them by how cool they are and

by how lame they are?

Oh, yeah, I can pretty much get behind that.

Oh, yeah, sounds entirely

Helping!

Cool! Lame.

Cool! Super lame.

Clapping is cool.

Not even in jest.

Okay, fine. Lame.

And finally, the cooliest of cool Magiswords,

Dolphin Magisword!

Oh! Oof.

Grup, do be careful with that Homing Device Magisword.

It only has a single tracking beetle loaded into it,

and we must use it wisely.

Gah! It's on my baby girl!

You know, that may be for the best.

After all, you never know what sort of mishaps could occur.

Oh, okay. Keepin' our Dolphin safe.

I can dig it. [ Yawns ]

All this Magi-sorting has left me fatigued.

Grup dear, be sure to put that Homing Device Magisword

back into the Cool bag when you're done staring at it.

I can be done.

♪♪

[ Coughing ] Eh?

[ Squeals ] Disappoint.

What is this, a thermometer Magisword? [ Chuckles ]

Phil's immune system is tuned to perfection. Bye-bye.

Dirt. It is dirt.

Time is not Phil's mongoose.

Now this is what Phil is chatting about!

[ Dolphin chattering ]

Grup: Hello?

Hello? [ Gasps ]

Seasonal gift-giving cat, Sanda Paws!

You're early by roughly half a year.

Oh! Stealth escape!

So, I'll just look for those gifts. Ohh.

Grup, what's with all the hubba-baloo down here?

Sanda Paws is here to bring me presents!

Prohyas, the door is on fire and also no longer a door.

I can put it out with Dolphin Magisword!

What?! Where's the dang ol' Cool sack?!

Currently there's a fire. Right!

Announcer: Cheese Magisword!

This should "brie" enough to do the job.

Currently a fire! Yes, on it.

Havarti Hydrant!

Huh, sudden grilled cheese craving.

Is that weird? It's probably weird.

Prohyas, where have all of our cool Magiswords gone?

Didn't you say something about an intruder, Grup?

Sanda Paw does not intrude.

He blesses the children with cat toys every winter.

Pishtosh. It's roughly half a year too early.

Hey, Vambre, look at that. Footy little sootprints.

A missing sack of Magiswords.

Both: Phil the Pilferer!

Oh, hey! Sanda Paws left something after all.

Hey, isn't that the Homing Device Magisword?

And it's blinking. The signal's getting weaker,

Vambre.

My baby's getting far away, Vambre!

Let's go find her, Vambre!

Announcer: Soon, in the Sheepy Jungle, Vambre!

Ha! Ha-ha!

Magiswording is so easypants.

I cannot believe anyone would pay those Warriors to use them.

Aye! Oof. Who dares tackle Phil?!

Ah, but how could she resist?

Hey, my Magiswords! Stolen! The nerve.

Phil has had enough of this!

Return Phil's things to Phil for they are Phil's!

Ooh!

[ Monkeys chittering ]

Oof once more.

You have added me to a pile of treasures?

[ Chuckles ] Phil is honored!

I shall abscond with all of this immediately.

Hooray!

Impending monkeys!

Nail Clipper Magisword is a slow solution.

[ Monkeys chittering ]

Why are monkeys throwing us?

Yeah. Why are monkeys throwing us?

A mystery of the universe we can contemplate later.

There's got to be something in the Lame bag that can help us!

Announcer: Electric Razor Magisword!

Aah!

Monobrow Magisword!

Oh, sorry about that, Sis.

Are they getting angrier, or is it an optical illusion?

That's not what that means.

These superlame Magiswords

aren't cutting any condiments, Prohyas.

We need to escape in a short but comical evacuation.

This must be the Sheepy Temple! Announcer: Turns out...

That waterfall is no match for Phil.

Those rhinocersheep, however, are also no match for Phil!

Have no thieves really gotten past those guardians?

They do not look so tough. Not with the right Magisword.

Announcer: Dolphin Magisword!

Good day, madam. You remember me?

My, you are a spicy tuna!

Okay, if you could -- Aye Chihuahua!

Aye-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi.

[ Laughs ]

Yes, this is all part of Phil's plan

since my plan was to improvise the whole thing.

Announcer: Slingshot Magisword!

Now nothing stands in the way of the greatest thief

in all of Lyvsheria!

Soon to be verified by accredited numerical ranking.

Aah!

Announcer: Dirt Magisword!

Och.

Diddly-dang!

So you can manifest earthworms with the Dirt Magisword?

That's...neat!

Yeah, I thought it was just gonna shoot

boring old dirt at him.

Huh, maybe this one should have gone in the Cool sack.

Wait. Phil just ran inside that temple,

but the Homing Device Magisword

is going mad as an April hatter out here.

Vambre, up there! I can see Dolphin's blinky-blip!

Oh! Uh, shrink, girl! Huz-to-the-ziggity-zah!

♪ Reunited with a Magi ♪ Time is of the hurry-up!

We've got to corner Phil while he's still inside the

temple of...sheep...things.

I don't know what this place is called, but Phil's here.

Right.

Underpants Magisword!

Slingshot brief!

Now, if I were an insect-sheep hybrid made of jade

but also a statue, but still just as handsome,

I would be...here!

Ha! Ha-ha! It is mine!

Ooh! It is so precious.

This will probably put me at negative-20

on the lodge ranking,

which would technically be higher than number one!

What?! Warriors! Ah, but you are too late!

The statue is mine! What statue?

We just want our Magiswords back!

Our babies!

Those are also mine!

I stole them fair and square

in accordance with the ruling of Finders V. Weepers.

I dislike you to the maximum amount known to science.

Your arsenal will also raise my rankings

along with this hefty sack of wooly monkey loot.

You stole from monkeys?

Announcer: Muscly Arm Magisword!

Ha-ha! Have at you!

Announcer: Frog Missile Magisword!

Hoocha! I've got this!

Missing Sock Magisword!

Ribbit.

Announcer: Beehive Magisword!

Oh, "beehive".

Clapping Magisword!

[ Grunts ]

Exploding Bubble Magisword!

Blowdryer Magisword!

Aye, great dane!

How are you two besting me,

the very icon of masculine perfection known as Phil?!

Your Magiswords should be useless!

Silly Philly. It's not the Magisword.

It's how you use it.

Face it, Phil-awful, we know Magiswords inside and out.

You don't have a chance against us!

Let's sound it out for him.

Microphone Magisword! Birdcall Magisword!

Both: Super teamwork combo -- decibel decimation!

Skrawww!

Oh, that must be the actual guardian.

That makes far more sense in retrospect.

Now we're talking! Bring it on!

Are you loony-balloony?!

That giant wooly mantis will slay us!

Not us. We have our...

Both: Mighty Magiswords!

Announcer: Sticky Note Magisword!

Skrawww!

That is it. Phil is out like sauerkraut.

Oof! Oof once more!

Announcer: Mop Magisword!

[ Grunts ]

Hot broc nuggs! Look out!

Announcer: Pogostick Magisword!

Vam--

Celery Magisword!

Vambre? Vambre?!

Oh, thank gumbo!

Why in Mom's name

did you jump towards the rushing deluge of mortality?

Well, one of us had to grab the thing we came

all the way here for.

Lunch? Sweet monkey, yes!

Speaking of monkeys...

Oh! Hey, monkey-duders!

You might need to let these air-dry a bit.

[ Monkeys chittering ]

You think Phil's okay? Of course, he's Phil.

I'm just glad that this adventure

taught us a very important lesson --

there is no such thing as a "lame" Magisword.

We did learn that. Thanks for telling me.

[ Gasps ] Finally, the idol is --

Skrawww!

Well, it looks as though there's no longer a safe place

for you to guard this precious statue, is there?

Skraw. Fear not.

I, Phil, know of a certain location.

And I can sweeten the deal

with a night on the town thanks to those wallets

I snip-snapped from those Warrior siblings.

Skraw!

Lastly, whoever keeps stealing the toilet paper, fine.

But stop installing replacement rolls top-under.

It's inhuman.

Some of us ain't even human.

Inhuman!

Boom! C'est moi!

We shall be keeping this fine idol in Phil's personal locker.

Oh, what?! I mean, whatever.

Naso will just steal it back. It's rightfully mine.

You'd have to get by this fellow first.

Skraw, y'all! Ha ha!

Impressive work, Phil!

Not only the Wooly Mantis statue,

but an actual live wooly mantis as well.

You have earned yourself double points!

That puts your ranking... here!

Wuzzity-wuzzity-what?!

Even when Phil loses, he wins!

You've lost literally nothing.

I lost two things that you do not know about.

Well, whoopty. I don't care.

You don't have first yet, so you didn't quite wi--

Skraw!

Phil won this moment.

♪♪