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♪ Warriors for hire are here ♪
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♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪
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♪ It's the name and career ♪
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♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪
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♪ Siblings who quest ♪
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♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪
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♪ Which is what they do best ♪
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♪ Mighty Magiswords ♪
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♪ They have special tools ♪
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♪ For which they are fools ♪
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♪ These guys lose their mind when they collect and find ♪
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♪ The Mighty Magi...swords ♪
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♪♪
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Announcer: Magisword Training at Warriors for Hire Headquarters!
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Luap si purg.
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Okay, Noville, what I want you to do
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is just get your little tentacle and thwip it
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with your Swish Navy Magisword at Grup.
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He's right over there hovering, see?
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Have it grab that watermelon and then bring it back here.
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Yeah, okay, sure. Here goes nothing.
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I believe in you! [ Clank ]
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Whoa! Mm!!
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My belief is waning. Okay, that was my bad.
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It -- I-I'll just show you.
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See, you need to -- It's like a follow-through here.
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You just switch your whole body, swish-swish,
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Both: Ooh!
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[ Explosions ] Ooh. Witch Way.
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What's going on over there?
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I'll try to get them to keep it down.
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Oh, I have a delivery in that direction!
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Witch Way for superior sorcery services!
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Services.
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Witch Way! Purveyors of powerful prestidigitation!
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Prestididi -- Purveyors!
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Witch Way!
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You are practically begging for the whole kingdom to be here,
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what with your obnoxious volume.
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The folk will flock to those who are the flashiest
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and the loudest. The loudest!
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Goodness gravy!
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Perhaps if you could wrap your tiny brains
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around this simple fact, there'd be more business for --
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Warriors for Hire!
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I wish to do business with you!
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Maximum hiss! Backup hiss.
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Ah, Buford. What may we Warriors,
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who are not affiliated with Witch Way, do for you?
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Well, I can't see, y'see? At least not outta this eye.
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Heh! I was out for a hike...
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Hey!
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...and this here beady contact lens
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just plum popped right on out!
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We're right here!
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I hope you lost it someplace dangerous.
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Right deep down in the V, right here in Lyvsheria
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or, rather, the giant signage what reads "Lyvsheria".
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Vambre: This isn't just a label for the map?
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I reckon it ain't, seein's how I been there an' all.
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This here handsome sock o' jemms awaits y'all
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if you can return my lens.
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[ Chuckles ] What say you?
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Say we that we have a deal!
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Well, sizzle my gristle!
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I'ma see you Warriors later, so to speak.
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Uhh, ooh. Pardon. Uhh. Pardon.
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Uhh. Pardon!
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Book man, do you have my order?
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Oh, yes! Absolutely!
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Here you go, Mr. Gateaux, Your Highness, sir.
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I mean, not Your Highness. Why did I say that?
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Ooh! Talking is hard.
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Uhh. Pardon. Uhh. Pardon.
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What is that tome in your grasp?
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What? nothing! Uh, "grasp"?
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Why, it's the latest Veronica Victorious book!
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No spoilers! I would never!
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Gateaux! I am literally literarily
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obsessed with the series! I ship every one!
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Gat... If there were
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a sequel out tomorrow,
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I'd do nothing but read!
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Read!
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It's a good thing there isn't a sequel out yet.
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We have a gig tomorrow!
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You're not doing
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Well, it's almost sunset,
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so we'd need the daylight to search.
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Almost sunset?! How long have I been away from my shop?!
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A half-hourish? I need to get back.
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I left Helmut in charge of the shop while I was out!
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[ Blowing nose ]
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What are you doing to that book?
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It's paper, isn't it? What would you do?
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Read it? Pbht! You read books?!
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This is a bookstore. Dork!
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You don't get away from your shop much, do you, Noville?
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Uh, I'm a bit awkward outside of my comfort zone,
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and I don't have many. Is it obvious?
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No. I mean yes.
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Aah!
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I should get back to the store now.
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Oh, Noville, when there is a new Veronica Victorious book,
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do let me know! You'll be
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the first to know!
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I promise!
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[ Gasps ]
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Swooping in and stealing the only potential customer
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we had all day! Swooping.
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They will suffer by my petty revenge
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for such clientele thievery! Uh, petty.
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Gateaux! Focus not on that frivolous drivel.
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You know, not cool, man.
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This is a very engrossing series of novels
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that has managed to transcend the generational gap
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and creatively inspire millions of children and adults alike
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across the continent.
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No, no, no, no, no. I don't break stuff you like.
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What's the big broccoli-honkin' deal about this book?!
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Even you could write a better story than this Agatha Uthor.
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Maybe we should.
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Explain yourself. Explain to me!
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Vambre did say she would lose the whole day
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to a new Veronica Victorious novel.
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If we were to make this a reality...
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She would be too distracted to conduct business,
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and then the folk like this Buford fellow
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would have no choice but to come to us, Witch Way!
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Brilliant! I'm brilliant!
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Brilliant. My first fan fiction.
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Now all the characters will share my opinion!
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Announcer: The next morning at Warriors for Hire Headquarters!
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Sneak! Sneak! Stealth!
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Hush! Hush.
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♪ Do do do do do ♪ Ah! What's this?
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"Veronica Victorious and the Pantaloons of Phantomloons"?
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What?! Oh!
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Noville must've left this for me.
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Ugh, Vambre, we got a gig, remember?
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[ Whimpers ]
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You're not gonna be able to focus on your job
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unless you read that, are ya?
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[ Sighs ] Fine. I'm gonna go out for a breakfast slugwich.
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You think you'll be ready for this job in like an hour?
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Cool. You promised now. I'll meet you at the sign then.
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Eee!
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Chapter one!
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W.T. even did I just read?
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This is awful!
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This is the worst thing I've ever read!
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Uh...I must be mistaken.
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Chapter one.
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It's even worse than I remembered!
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Grup! Grup! Listen to this tripe!
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"Veronica Victorious rode her valiant steed,
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"the beast's senses heightened by a warm fetid breeze...
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Um...
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Oh, uh, you're frightening me -- more than youths usually do.
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Oh! My hearing aid's got a bravery setting!
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Uh, I only read spell books and manga.
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Look over there!
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[ Continues reading ]
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Yeah, I'm usually totes for our book discussions,
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but I'm backlogged, and this palace is an
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official No Spoiler Zone.
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So...bye-bye.
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Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut!
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"...of the midwife's halitosis."
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Wow, yeah, that does sound pretty bad.
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"Bad"?!
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This is the most malodorous repugnant crud vapors!
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Surely you agree!
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It actually doesn't look familiar.
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Did they print this against her will?
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[ Gasps ] They must have!
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They dug through Uthor's abandoned manuscripts!
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Why else would she let them?
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Unless this was printed posthumously.
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[ Gasps ] Did Agatha Uthor die?!
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I'll see if I can contact the publisher, okay?
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So, uh, did you and Prohyas
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finish that job you got last night?
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[ Gasps ] Ugh!
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I'm scared that I enjoyed that on some level.
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Announcer: Meanwhile, at the Lyvsheria sign!
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Wow, it's super weird being early for a change.
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I'll just give Vambre a jingle jangle.
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Vambre: "The ignoble artificial steed unfurled one final --"
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You haven't finished reading it?
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Eight times! Worse with every repeat!
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Listen to this!
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"Veronica resented the potentially fabricated foal,
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and --" Just get here!
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Welp!
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Announcer: Retractable Ladder Magisword!
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Heck, I might not even need Vambre at all for this one.
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Just the absolute worst, most horrendous...
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[ Explosion ] Eh?
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Announcer: Gummy Sticky Hand Magisword!
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Ugh. Doesn't anyone ever clean this thing?
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Complete and utter trash!
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Vambre! I could really use a little help!
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Really, I don't understand
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why the horse may or may not be real.
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There is literally no payoff!
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The horse is an allegory for Veronica's
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split personality disorder in the beginning of the book!
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Careful, Gateaux.
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Keep talking like that and you'll totally blow our cover!
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And I fail to understand...
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Could you be a little bit more discerning
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with those magisword choices, Vambre?
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Ahhh!
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It's really dark down here.
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Maybe you could send a -- Dumb!
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O-Okay. Never mind that.
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Schlomo Schmooster, The publisher
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of the "Veronica Victorious" series?
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I was calling to confirm the release
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of "Veronica Victorious and the Pantaloons of Phantomloons."
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Uh-huh. What do you mean you've never heard of that title?
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[ Gasps ]
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That means that whatever Vambre's reading is a fake!
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You orderin' a pizza?
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Why is Veronica so stinking sad in this book?
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Look at her
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A slave to our words, a slave to literature!
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Literature.
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Shall we startle her and make her fall in?
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Shall. I mean yes.
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Ugh! [ Cellphone rings ]
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Noville? What's up?
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Noville, you're talking a kilometer a minute.
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I can't understand a -- [ Sneezes ]
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Still waiting on that help, Vambre.
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Aah!
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[ Demonic voice ] You made me drop my precious!
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Both: Gah! Aaah!
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My precious!
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Hey, Vambre. Vambre?
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Vambre! Helmut, I think Vambre's in a quagmire.
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What am I gonna do?
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Stand behind your desk and blubber about it!
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If you want Vambre to perish, that is. Huh!
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No! I definitely don't want that.
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Then don't do that!
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You're right, Helmut! I can do this!
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Uh, Helmut, that's not a coloring book.
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That's a medical publication. In color!
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Hang on, Vambre! I'm comin' for ya!
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What's with all these weird letter-shaped critters?
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I think they're giving me a rash.
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Rash. You're supposed to repeat
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my words, Gateaux.
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Words. Now, how are we gonna --
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Hey! Oh.
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Ow! [ Growls ]
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Have no fear, Witch Way is here!
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Witch Way!
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[ Explosions ] Oh, no!
262
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They like shiny things!
263
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The shiny things!
264
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That's nice. A little help, Vambre?
265
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,000
Why is Veronica Victorious wearing a t-shirt
266
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for the alternative conch band, She Sells?
267
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[ Gasps ] I like to think the author
268
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intended to update the character
269
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for a contemporary audience.
270
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Too much independent thought! We talked about this!
271
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I guess this one's up to me. Oh, hey, I got something.
272
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Announcer: Underpants Magisword!
273
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Aw, sweet! Wait. Why would -- Whatever. It's mine now!
274
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Let's test this puppy out!
275
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,000
[ Giggles ] Comedy gold!
276
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[ Growls ] Okay, okay. Geez.
277
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,000
Oh! I just had a brilliant thinky-thought!
278
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Shh! Okay, it wants quiet.
279
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Okay.
280
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[ Panting ] Oh, no!
281
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Nice weather we're -- Small talk!
282
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Must...avoid...small talk! Rude.
283
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:37,000
Noville, I assure you this is just, um, pumpkin guts. Yes.
284
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Can't worry... about that...now!
285
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Heh. He'll never know.
286
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Your Highness!
287
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Um, Noville, this is, like,
288
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a really indirect route for this sorta thing.
289
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[ Panting continues ] Don't look down! Don't look down!
290
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Don't look down! Don't look down!
291
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Keep it together!
292
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Just a few more pants of under
293
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should be enough to get us out of here!
294
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,000
Oh, and what of this "handsome" feline "Xateaug"?
295
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He just swoops in from nowhere
296
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and saves Veronica Victorious from the tar pit.
297
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She would never need a man to rescue her!
298
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I think Xateaug fulfills the wishes of the reader.
299
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Reader. This situation has changed me.
300
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,000
[ Munching ]
301
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Who?! Noville: Vambre!
302
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,000
Noville? The book is a fake!
303
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,000
The book is a fake?
304
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,000
[ Crying ] My book! My greatest work!
305
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,000
My beautiful book!
306
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:17,000
So, Gateaux wrote the book.
307
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Undirope complete!
308
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,000
This will surely get us up the, uh -- Welp.
309
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:22,000
Actually, we both wrote the book.
310
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Morbidia. Gateaux.
311
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Do tell me your intent, because I'd really like to know.
312
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,000
Awww, dip.
313
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,000
We wrote a brilliant Veronica Victorious novel
314
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to distract you. Distract.
315
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We knew you'd be so absorbed in our fabulous fiction
316
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that your reputation would be ruined!
317
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[ Evil laughter ]
318
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You shall never, ever besmirch the name of Agatha Uthor again
319
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,000
or you will have to answer to me.
320
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Do I make myself clear?! Both: Uh-huh!
321
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,000
You two think about what you've done.
322
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,000
Leaving us here isn't very heroic.
323
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,000
You cheesed me off at a personal level!
324
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,000
You're magicians -- figure it out.
325
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,000
You figured out how to write the worst book ever.
326
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,000
You were reading it wrong!
327
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,000
But we never managed to find that contact lens.
328
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,000
Oh, don't be silly. I know exactly where it is.
329
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,000
You do? It's a contact lens.
330
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,000
It's right here on the "I" where it belongs!
331
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,000
Nice.
332
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:13,000
Noville, it was so sweet of you to come to our aid.
333
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,000
I know it was hard for you.
334
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,000
Aw, shucks, Vambre, anything for you
335
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,000
and also Prohyas who is also my friend, yes.
336
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,000
And, really, it was no trouble getting you out of that pit.
337
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:23,000
I'd say the worst part was all the social interaction
338
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,000
I had to endure on the way here.
339
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[ Shudders ] I'm very proud
340
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to call you a friend, Noville.
341
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Eeeeee! Yay!
342
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Announcer: Yay!
343
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I knew I could trust you Warrior kids.
344
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,000
Blech! Can't stand watching someone touch their eye.
345
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Good as new!
346
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,000
Y'all take care there, kids!
347
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,000
Now, shall we break this thing in a little more?
348
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,000
Uhh! Pardon. Warriors!
349
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,000
[ Sighs ] Haven't we seen enough of you today?
350
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:45,000
We have a business proposition for you.
351
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:45,000
Proposition.
352
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,000
Since you just got paid, we thought you might like
353
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,000
to commission a little bit more literature!
354
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,000
Gateaux here even has a title
355
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to whet your cerebral appetite!
356
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"Veronica Victorious and the Cat Who Had Feelings".
357
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What did I tell you? [ Laughs ] Dip!
358
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Sh-Should we run? [ Snorts ] Yes.
359
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[ Both scream ] [ Both laugh ]
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♪♪
26258
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