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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,002
MAN WITH A PLAN #412
"Driving Miss Katie"
Closed Captioned
2
00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:03,754
(door opens)
3
00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:06,131
Dad!
4
00:00:06,131 --> 00:00:07,674
Yeah.
5
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:11,970
Who has two thumbs and just got
her learner's permit?
6
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:13,180
This guy.
7
00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:14,306
Oh!
8
00:00:14,306 --> 00:00:17,309
Oh! Katie...
9
00:00:17,309 --> 00:00:19,394
Oh, I'm so proud of you.
ANDI:
That's right.
10
00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:20,812
She passed her written
test at the DMV
11
00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:22,564
and can now practice driving.
12
00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:24,858
The citizens of Pittsburgh
are trembling in fear.
13
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,612
They should be. I barely passed.
Ah.
14
00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:31,156
This is gonna be so great.
15
00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:33,075
Once she gets her license,
she can run errands
16
00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:35,077
and pick up dinner and...
(gasps)
17
00:00:35,077 --> 00:00:37,454
I'm gonna delete Postmates
because we made our own.
18
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:38,914
Ha.
19
00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:42,209
She's a Postkate.
20
00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:44,336
Well, h-hold on, hold on.
You forgot the best part.
21
00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:48,131
Not only can she drive our food,
she can drive our other kids.
22
00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:50,175
(gasps)
(laughs)
23
00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:52,469
Your days of running them
around town are over.
24
00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:56,056
If this works,
I say we have more kids.
25
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:59,142
Hold on. I still have
to pass my road test.
26
00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:03,063
Not a problem. We Burns
have driving in our blood.
27
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,399
I have waited a long time
for this, Katie.
28
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,401
Come on. Let's go have some fun.
29
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:13,573
That was the worst
hour of my life.
30
00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:16,118
What happened to the mirror?
31
00:01:16,118 --> 00:01:19,663
(stammers) I was looking
for something to hold onto.
32
00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:21,665
She wasn't using it anyway.
33
00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:25,627
♪ ♪
34
00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:34,219
When you invited us over
to watch the game,
35
00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:35,762
I assumed we'd be doing it
in your living room.
36
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,764
Or at least a place
with less spiders.
37
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,683
(shouts)
38
00:01:39,683 --> 00:01:42,311
We're out here
because I'm dodging Andi.
39
00:01:42,311 --> 00:01:44,354
She wants me to take Katie
driving again,
40
00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:45,981
and I need time to recuperate.
41
00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:49,318
My ankle still hurts from
stomping on the imaginary brake.
42
00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:51,820
I'm cool with hiding.
I need to lay low anyway.
43
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:53,530
Marcy's mad at yours truly.
44
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:56,450
Is it because you refer
to yourself as "yours truly"?
45
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:59,786
She says I've gotten complacent
and I don't romance her anymore.
46
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,538
What does that even mean?
47
00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:04,624
Maybe you've gotten complacent
and don't romance her anymore.
48
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:07,252
Oh. You know, it makes sense
when a man says it.
49
00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:09,254
You know,
50
00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:10,881
when I really want to
romance a woman, I cook her
51
00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:14,468
a gourmet dinner with my
special handmade gnocchi. Mmm.
52
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,053
But Marcy cooks dinner.
If I cook it,
53
00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:17,679
there'll be two dinners.
54
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:19,264
ANDI:
Adam?
55
00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:21,975
(shushing)
56
00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:25,187
Are you hiding out here?
What, n...
57
00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:27,397
Your daughter is waiting
for her driving lesson.
58
00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:29,941
I-I would love to take her,
but I have guests.
59
00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:31,360
Can we talk outside?
60
00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:32,486
Yeah, yeah.
61
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,905
Why not let
the neighbors hear it?
62
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,658
You said you wanted to teach
Kate how to drive,
63
00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:40,827
but now you're
just avoiding her.
64
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,663
Hey, Andi! If Marcy asks,
you never saw me.
65
00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:45,082
Thanks, doll.
66
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,585
Katie is not ready, Andi.
67
00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:50,337
There was a left-hand turn
where we went
68
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,214
all the way around in a circle.
69
00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:53,840
Like Mario Kart.
70
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,259
That's why you're teaching her.
71
00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:58,470
Look, Adam,
I need Kate to drive.
72
00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:00,222
(sighs)
I just signed Teddy
up for club soccer.
73
00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:03,433
It's an hour away.
I can't do it.
No...
74
00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:06,561
I'm sorry, but 16
is too young to drive.
75
00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:09,398
16-year-olds can't vote,
they can't drink,
76
00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:11,358
they can't see movies
with boobs.
77
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,985
How does it make sense that they
can drive to a movie with boobs,
78
00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:16,613
but can't go in?
(grunts)
79
00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:19,658
Look, if you won't get behind
the wheel with Kate,
80
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,076
I'll teach her.
81
00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:22,828
I'm a better driver
than you anyway.
82
00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:24,579
(gasps)
83
00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:26,373
Now, Katie,
84
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:29,000
I don't want what happened
last time to happen again.
85
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,086
You mean all your yelling?
86
00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:34,756
I only yelled one time.
It just lasted the whole drive.
87
00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:37,592
Today, we're gonna
try a point system.
88
00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:39,219
You start with a hundred points.
89
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,054
If you do something wrong,
you lose points.
90
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,348
When you get to zero,
we are done driving
91
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:44,558
until the next day. Hmm?
92
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,017
Sounds fair.
93
00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:47,894
Okay. Uhp-uhp,
hold on, hold up, hold up.
94
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:49,604
Remember what I taught you?
95
00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:52,607
What's the first thing you do
before you start the vehicle?
96
00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:54,651
You check your...
97
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:57,070
Text messages.
98
00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,864
So you're not tempted
while you're driving.
99
00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:00,574
No, no, no. No-no texting.
100
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,784
Minus 20 points.
101
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:06,163
No, you check your mirrors.
102
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:07,372
Got it.
Mm.
103
00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:09,249
(chuckles)
Cute, cute.
104
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,668
Cute.
105
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,712
(laughs softly)
106
00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:15,338
(grumbles)
107
00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:18,175
Okay, uh, put your hands
on the wheel.
108
00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:20,385
(exhales)
Both hands. You're not a pimp.
109
00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:22,888
That's how you do it.
110
00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:24,890
Minus 30 for being funny
in the car.
111
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,766
This is a serious place.
112
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:29,478
Now put your hands
at ten and two, like a clock.
113
00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:32,355
No one uses clocks anymore.
What would it be on a phone?
114
00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:34,483
Minus 50 for not
understanding clocks.
115
00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:36,693
You're out of points.
116
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:38,320
(scoffs) But we didn't
even leave the driveway.
117
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,197
Right. I'll text the neighbors
and let them know
118
00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:41,907
it's safe to go outside.
119
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:45,452
(sighs)
120
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,997
So, I was just talking to Kate.
121
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:51,416
You guys have been driving
every day for two weeks
122
00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:54,085
and she thinks she's ready
for her DMV road test.
123
00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:56,171
No, she's not ready.
I told you.
124
00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:59,382
Yesterday, she got out of the
car before she put it in park.
125
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:03,011
I had to Fred Flintstone
it to a stop.
126
00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:04,554
Just take her to the test.
I don't want to go back
127
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:06,014
in the garage with the spiders.
128
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:08,016
I squashed one and the others
are out for revenge.
129
00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:10,477
They saw me kill their friend.
130
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:14,147
I love Katie, but I don't think
she'll ever be a good driver.
131
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,607
You promised me that my days
132
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:18,401
of running the kids
around town were over.
133
00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:19,819
But here I am,
134
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:22,280
going to pick up
Teddy at soccer,
135
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,074
which is basically in Canada.
136
00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:27,410
Book the test.
137
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:29,037
(sighs)
138
00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:30,455
What am I gonna do?
139
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:31,998
I don't think Katie will pass,
140
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,875
but I'm tired
of being the bad guy.
141
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,293
So let the DMV be the bad guy.
142
00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:37,963
If she's not ready, no license.
143
00:05:37,963 --> 00:05:40,006
I like it. The state
of Pennsylvania
144
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,716
will do my dirty work for me.
145
00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:44,010
(chuckles)
This is why I pay taxes.
146
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:46,596
Well, I was going to suggest
telling Kate honestly
147
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:49,558
how you feel, but I forgot
I was with this family.
148
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:54,145
The game started an hour
ago. Where you been?
149
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:55,772
Getting yelled at by Marcy.
150
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:57,315
She's still mad at you?
151
00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:58,942
No, she's mad at me again.
152
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:00,819
I didn't pick her up
from exercise class.
153
00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:02,821
You forgot to pick up
your own wife?
154
00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:04,531
I didn't forget.
155
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:06,741
It was raining, and I had
just gotten the car washed.
156
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:09,160
Oh, Donald.
157
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,580
And now she says
I'm cut off in the bedroom
158
00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:14,249
until I learn how to be more
romantic and thoughtful.
159
00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:16,376
So you'll never have sex again.
160
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,336
Can't say I'm gonna
miss the stories.
161
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,214
Maybe there's a way to fix this.
162
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,842
Lowell, show me how to make
your magic nookie dinner.
163
00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:26,177
It's pronounced gnocchi.
164
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,680
I'm not hearing the difference.
165
00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:35,020
Hi. Uh, my daughter's here
to take her road test.
166
00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,855
Here's my I.D.
167
00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:39,566
Adam Burns,
parent/legal guardian.
168
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:41,568
(chuckles)
169
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:46,489
Arthur,
DMV clerk/hedge fund playboy.
170
00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:51,494
Everything's in order.
171
00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:54,873
Take these forms to window
12 for your road test.
172
00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:56,625
Thanks.
173
00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:58,043
I'm kind of nervous.
174
00:06:58,043 --> 00:07:00,045
Well, I'm sure
you'll do great, honey.
175
00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:02,339
And if you don't, that's the
state of Pennsylvania talking.
176
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:03,548
Not me.
177
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:05,133
Okay?
178
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,259
All right, now go get 'em.
179
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,720
Come on.
180
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:09,929
Uh...
181
00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:11,556
Whoopsie-doodle.
182
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:14,601
I'm afraid your license
expired three months ago.
183
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:17,145
What? Okay, uh,
so how do I fix that?
184
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:18,855
I sign a form or...?
185
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:22,692
Since you let it expire, you
have to take the written test
186
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:24,361
before it can be renewed.
187
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:25,945
Here's your number.
Wait to be called.
188
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:27,614
Next!
189
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:30,075
Uh, uh, hold on, hold on.
190
00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:32,327
So, if I had caught this
before it expired,
191
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:33,787
I wouldn't have
to take the test?
192
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,622
Correct. Next.
193
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:38,792
Uh-- You stay.
194
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,585
Can't we just do something
with this license?
195
00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:43,088
You know, like,
slap a sticker on it or...
196
00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:45,715
Actually, yes, there is
something we can do.
197
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,384
Thank you.
(chuckles)
198
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:49,302
Ooh. What's that?
Sticker machine?
199
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,304
(whirring)
200
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:05,402
This is why no one
likes coming here, Arthur.
201
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,784
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Now serving number 42.
202
00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:14,786
Ah, finally.
203
00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:27,132
You made me wait a half an hour
just to talk to you again?
204
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:30,552
It's not a job
if you love what you do.
205
00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:35,890
The written driver's test
is on the tablet.
206
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:37,308
If you get three wrong, you fail
207
00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:39,561
and have to wait
a week to retake it.
208
00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:41,229
Not a problem.
209
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:44,023
When I get the high score,
can I put my initials in?
210
00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:45,400
No.
211
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,068
That was a joke.
212
00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:48,653
No, it wasn't.
213
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:52,323
I'm just gonna take
the test now, Arthur.
214
00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:54,617
And, yes, I will be
taking the survey after.
215
00:08:57,412 --> 00:08:59,414
Uh, B. Stop sign.
216
00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:01,958
(tablet chiming)
217
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:05,378
Uh, C. No passing zone.
218
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:08,006
Uh, D. Emergency vehicles only.
219
00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:13,303
(chuckles)
Chime city over here, Arthur.
220
00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:15,513
I'm so good,
I don't even have to look.
221
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:17,807
(buzzer sounds)
222
00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:21,644
Okay, I got cocky.
223
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,188
Let's focus.
(clears throat)
224
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:25,774
(buzzer sounds)
225
00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:27,150
Uh...
226
00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:28,693
Look, I meant to push B.
227
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:30,445
The-- My fingers are swollen.
228
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:33,698
I-I'm retaining water
'cause I had a salty lunch.
229
00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:37,118
One more wrong answer
and you fail.
230
00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:39,662
No pressure.
231
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:53,259
"A white painted curb indicates:
A) passengers and mail only."
232
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,094
That's too specific. Eh...
233
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:58,640
"B) Service dogs only."
234
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,350
Nice try, Arthur.
235
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:04,771
So, by process of elimination,
it's "C) freight only."
236
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,189
Uh, final answer.
237
00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:08,691
(buzzer sounds)
AUTOMATED VOICE: Fail.
238
00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:10,944
Whoopsie-doodle.
239
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:14,322
I passed!
(laughs)
240
00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:20,620
Now we can both drive.
241
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,290
What happened?
242
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:27,669
Your dad has
a fun surprise for you.
243
00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:34,968
So Kate got her license
244
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:38,263
and you lost yours.
245
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,392
It isn't funny.
246
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:46,396
I'm sorry. Can I get you a beer?
247
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:49,399
I would love one.
I'm gonna need to see some I.D.
248
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,779
Where's Katie?
Oh, she went for a drive.
249
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:59,242
You just let her leave
in the car by herself?
250
00:10:59,242 --> 00:11:02,203
Yes, she has a license.
251
00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:05,790
But we have no idea
where she is.
252
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:08,293
Our daughter could be anywhere
in this city right now
253
00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:10,420
and you seem perfectly
comfortable with that.
254
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:12,672
Because I trust her.
(groans)
255
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,133
And also because I put
a tracking app on her phone.
256
00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:18,636
See, look, she-she's fine.
257
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:20,179
She's at the
Whitestone Overlook.
258
00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:23,433
That's make-out point!
259
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:25,310
Okay, Fonzie.
260
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:27,854
People go up there
for other reasons.
261
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:30,648
Yeah, to murder teenagers
who are making out.
262
00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:33,818
I'm going up there
to check on her.
263
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:35,028
You're not allowed to drive.
264
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,030
(grunts) Then, uh, you take me.
265
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,907
No.
266
00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:41,409
I am not gonna be part
of your craziness.
267
00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:44,078
Kate is fine. She just
wanted to go for a drive.
268
00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:47,665
That's what people do
when they get their license.
269
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:51,252
I'm sure you'll want to do
the same when you get yours.
270
00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:57,759
Read the room, Andi.
271
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:04,140
I did. Half the room
thinks it's funny.
272
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:06,392
(laughing)
273
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:10,480
Oh, thanks for coming. I really
want to knock Marcy's socks off,
274
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:11,856
and hopefully,
the rest of her clothes.
275
00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:13,650
Is she home?
276
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:15,318
No, I told her to take a hike.
277
00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:18,154
And she says
you don't romance her.
278
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:20,448
Okay, here's
the recipe:
279
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:22,200
shrimp scampi
with handmade gnocchi.
280
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,118
It works every time.
281
00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:26,287
The only downside is
I've gained six pounds
282
00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:28,122
and no longer
feel comfortable naked.
283
00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:30,792
I can't do this.
This is cooking.
284
00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:32,460
Lowell, you have to
do it for me.
285
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:33,878
That's not the way it works.
286
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:36,172
Give a man a fish
and he eats for a day.
287
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:39,133
Teach a man to fish
and he eats for a lifetime.
288
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:41,719
But I only want to eat
for a day.
289
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,179
Give me my fish, Lowell.
290
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,475
Aha!
(screams)
291
00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:49,102
Dad!
292
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,813
What... what are you
doing here?
293
00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:53,439
Wh-What are you
doing here?
294
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:55,441
Did you know this is
make-out point?
295
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,402
All the teen moms
in Pittsburgh
296
00:12:57,402 --> 00:13:00,738
get their start
right here.
297
00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:02,824
No, I just wanted to go
for a drive.
298
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:04,867
Well, you need to go home
right now
299
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:06,285
because I'll tell you
something, Katie,
300
00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:07,829
you're not ready for this.
301
00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:09,664
For what?
The world.
302
00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:12,125
You are too young and too naive.
303
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:15,753
In fact, you're grounded.
304
00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:17,964
Why? 'Cause I passed
my driver's test?
305
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:19,966
Yes! N-No, no. It's because
306
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:23,219
you don't understand
how dangerous the world is.
307
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:25,972
There could be
a crazy man up here.
308
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:27,640
I think there is.
309
00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:31,686
You never used to talk to me
like that.
310
00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:33,104
This license has changed you.
311
00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:38,735
I'm crazy? She's crazy.
She won't listen to me.
312
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:42,030
Minus a hundred points.
(siren wails)
313
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:45,241
Ugh, of course.
314
00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:52,040
Evening, sir.
Can I help you, Officer?
315
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:55,126
I couldn't help but notice you
leaving make-out point alone
316
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:56,919
and old.
317
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:59,505
All right, no need to hurt
people's feelings here.
318
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:00,965
(chuckles)
319
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:04,218
We just want to keep things safe
for the kids. License, please.
320
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:06,471
Sure. Yeah.
321
00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:14,562
Step out of the car, sir.
322
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:21,027
Oh, good,
the crazy vigilante is home.
323
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,490
A dad's got to do
what a dad's got to do.
324
00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:27,992
Sometimes you have to be
the bad guy.
325
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:30,578
Kate is upstairs, very upset.
326
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,371
Okay, you grounded her
for no reason.
327
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,248
I had reasons.
I had good reasons.
328
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:37,210
Oh, really? Like what?
329
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,419
Like she's not ready.
330
00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:42,381
A car lets you leave,
and I'm not ready.
331
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:43,633
Wait.
332
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:47,136
She's not ready,
or you're not ready?
333
00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:48,596
What-Whatever.
334
00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:50,389
Somebody isn't ready,
so nobody leaves.
335
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:53,351
Nobody leaves
until everybody's ready.
336
00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:58,397
(sighs) Honey, do you remember
when Kate was 12, and we decided
337
00:14:58,397 --> 00:15:00,900
that she was old enough
to go to the mall by herself,
338
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,568
so I'd drop her off
with her friends
339
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,403
and then secretly
follow her around?
340
00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:08,032
Yeah, I remember you army
crawling through the food court.
341
00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:10,868
That was me freaking out
because I didn't think our baby
342
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,745
was ready to go out
into the world alone.
343
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,372
Then one day,
344
00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:15,957
she caught me
riding the carousel
345
00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:19,919
with a pair of binoculars
around my neck.
346
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:23,881
That's when I realized that
I was the one who wasn't ready.
347
00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:28,219
Oh, so this is your fault,
I like that.
348
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:33,683
No, I'm saying
we need to be ready.
349
00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:36,602
But what if I'm not?
350
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,229
Sweetie,
351
00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:41,941
Kate was fine back then
and she's fine now.
352
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,443
But I got to be honest,
you are right in the middle
353
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:46,487
of spoiling one of the biggest
moments of her life.
354
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:54,495
Go ahead.
355
00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:56,622
You can say it.
356
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:02,628
You're right.
I know.
357
00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:08,634
(car door closes)
358
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,469
Marcy's home early.
Hide.
359
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:13,097
Where should I go?
Under the table.
360
00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:14,640
I'll get her out of the room,
you take off.
361
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,476
Fine, but don't forget to turn
the asparagus down to a simmer,
362
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:18,686
a simmer!
363
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:26,527
What's all this?
364
00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:28,654
I love you, baby,
so I'm romancing you
365
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,156
with shrimp and handmade nookie.
366
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:33,951
This looks amazing.
367
00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:36,829
That whole time I thought
you weren't doing anything,
368
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:39,123
you were taking cooking classes.
369
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:40,917
Yeah, whatever you say.
Let's eat.
370
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,545
Why don't we start with dessert?
371
00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:49,008
DON:
So this really worked?
372
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,426
MARCY:
Oh, yeah, Chef.
373
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:53,221
DON: Oh, Marcy.
MARCY: Oh, Don. (chuckles)
374
00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:55,264
C-Can this table hold us?
(grunting)
375
00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:58,184
DON: If it breaks, it breaks.
MARCY: Okay.
376
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,450
Hey.
377
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:17,578
I'm not going anywhere.
I'm just sitting here.
378
00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:19,330
I get it.
379
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:21,666
I did the same thing
when I first started driving.
380
00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:24,252
(chuckles)
381
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:28,714
That's smart. Don't let
crazy people in your car.
382
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:34,011
I just want to say I'm sorry.
383
00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:36,430
I know what a big deal
this is for you.
384
00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:44,397
You know, when I got my license,
it meant I was growing up
385
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:47,817
and it was the greatest feeling
in the world.
386
00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:52,071
But now that I'm a parent,
watching it happen to you,
387
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:55,199
it is the scariest feeling
in the world.
388
00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:01,747
(car door unlocks)
389
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:14,093
(sighs)
390
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,345
Go on.
391
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:19,640
I believe you were saying
nice things to me.
392
00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:29,275
Look... you're
my little girl.
393
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:31,944
It's hard for me to accept
that you're growing up.
394
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:37,992
As soon as I saw you
behind the wheel,
395
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:40,870
I saw you leaving.
396
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:44,373
That's what people do
in a car, they leave.
397
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:46,834
(scoffs)
398
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:49,253
Dad, you're such a marshmallow.
399
00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:53,924
I just, I wish
I had more time.
400
00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:56,469
There's so much left
to teach you.
401
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:59,764
L-Like, when you're walking
to your car at night,
402
00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:02,892
you pepper spray first,
you ask questions later.
403
00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:04,727
Okay, got it.
404
00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:07,021
And-and-and if a guy
calls you after 10:00,
405
00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:08,439
he only wants one thing.
406
00:19:08,439 --> 00:19:10,483
And if a guy calls you
before 10:00,
407
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,151
he's just trying
to beat the other guy.
408
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,320
Trust me, I have been both guys.
409
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,909
I'm not leaving now.
410
00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:22,370
You don't have to squeeze it
all in tonight.
411
00:19:24,038 --> 00:19:25,539
Okay.
412
00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:30,878
But since I got you,
413
00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:33,381
here's the most important thing
you need to know...
414
00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:39,261
I love you so much.
415
00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:42,515
I love you, too, Dad.
416
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:56,362
So, now will you admit
that I'm an excellent driver?
417
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,783
I love you so much.
418
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:14,255
Who has two thumbs
and passed his DMV test?
419
00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:16,257
This guy.
420
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:21,137
Never a doubt.
In fact,
421
00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:22,972
I made you a special dinner
to celebrate.
422
00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:25,641
Shrimp scampi
and handmade gnocchi.
423
00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:27,768
Ooh.
424
00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:30,271
I got the recipe
from Lowell.
425
00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:31,731
Oh, that looks delicious,
426
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:34,692
but how about if we
start with dessert?
427
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:38,320
Not again! Fool me once!
428
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,156
Captioning sponsored by
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429
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:42,491
Captioned by
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31034
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