Original subtitles

Bruce!

- To you! - No!

Over here!

Bloody maniac!

Hey! Free kick! Come on! Over here!

Right, put the ball down, then. Put it down and get on with it.

Right!

Bruce!

Go on!

- Go on, Bruce! - Goal!

Yes! Yes! Goal!

Ref!

Hey! Hey, ref! Hey!

- Offside! - You're a maniac!

What was wrong with that, eh, ref?

Even the flag was up. No doubt about it.

No more, else I'll send you off.

Right, off you go. I said off.

- It wasn't offside. - I've sent you off. Now get off.

Bloody ref! Bloody ref!

To me!

It was never offside, never offside, Will.

- You shouldn't have gone on like that. - Eh?

- You shouldn't have gone on like that. - Come on, the whites!

Time for winning

Time for losing

Time enough to find which way you're going

Running somewhere

Not that I care

Life surprises me each day

Don't you worry 'bout my way of living

It's not me who needs a helping hand

If you get to feeling good by giving

Give away and I'll understand

For that's your way but I can make it

I can take it

And if I ever get to choose

I will never lose

Love is something nice to say to someone

It's a word I like to use

But it's easier to share with no-one

Love's been known to fly away

Not today...

Look, love, last time I'm asking. Do you want a night out or not?

A night out? Oh, lovely. We know what that is, don't we?

Four rounds with no gum shields and a torn blouse.

- Oh, give over. - Right.

Hey! Stop at the corner, will you?

- Right. - Good night, all!

See you around, eh?

Good night, Edna.

See you next week.

Not if you play as you did today, you won't.

Look, that was a bloody good goal.

I'll get by

You know, somehow

It's time for winning now

Well, I'm back all in one piece and sober.

That makes a change.

Well, aren't you gonna ask me how we did?

Well, how did you do, dear?

- We lost. - Oh.

- Got to keep up tradition. - Oh.

The ref was duff, though. He sent me off.

- Who was? - The ref, duff. All piss and point.

Oh, Bruce, not on your brother's wedding night.

Well, he's got to get used to life's rich pageant, hasn't he?

Thank you, love.

Where are the tits, Harold?

Aren't you gonna treat us to a drink, then?

Why?

Why? Tradition, that's why.

You're very strong on tradition, aren't you?

Sure. Everybody has a stag party before their wedding night.

Well, I'm not everybody

and I've no intention of getting blind drunk the night before I get married.

- Or after. - All right.

Do you think she'll turn up?

Now, don't tease him the moment you're in.

- Well, it's happened before. - Never in our fam...

- Well, in my family, anyway. - Oh, yes, yes.

I wonder if she knows how mean you are.

I don't propose to discuss my intended with you.

Now, look, stop getting at each other on t'last night.

Harold's got a lot on his mind.

Well, it's a very unhealthy thing to do, if you ask me, on his last night.

- Carving a cow. - Gladys is a very nice girl.

And what's good enough for Harold is good enough for me.

Drop it, drop it.

Well, somebody's got to celebrate. Any booze left, Dad?

Aye. Must be a drop of something here, I suppose, left over.

'Jackson again.'

Aye, here it is.

'Jones.'

Mm, that's been there for years, Dad.

It's not so bad. Be matured.

I know Gladys's mother's taking care of it all,

and I'm not saying a word against her,

but I just don't want anything to go wrong.

What could go wrong?

They could all get food poisoning, couldn't they?

- Cheers, Dad. - Cheers.

Aye, you're always reading about it.

56 wedding guests struck down with the bubonic or something.

- Groom dies on honeymoon. - Oh, Bruce.

- Who's doing the food, then? - That firm in Archer Street.

Don't like the sound of that.

What do you know about it?

They did the Red Cross dance, didn't they? Got ten girls pregnant.

Look at that, Dad.

Don't get nervous, Harold dear.

Nothing'll go wrong if you're careful.

Have you got your train tickets in a safe place, dear?

- In my wallet. - Safe enough in there.

Don't forget to send us a telegram as soon as you arrive.

He's not going to the Congo for his honeymoon.

Oh, I sometimes wish you'd go to t'Congo.

Oh, then you'd miss me, wouldn't you? Eh? Eh?

Oh, stop it, Bruce. Stop it now.

Come on, give us a kiss. I'm the best man to kiss.

Look at those stud marks.

I scored a beauty today.

- Did you? - Yeah.

The bugger disallowed it. Offside. It was never offside.

Now hurry up!

That's gonna hurt tomorrow morning.

Take those into the kitchen!

- Do you feel nervous, then? - Numb. Funny, really, isn't it?

- What? - Last time I'm sleeping here.

Dad, look, I've told you to pick up those things!

Never thought I'd get married.

Never?

Well, I've thought about it, you know, but it never seemed real somehow,

and I never thought she'd have me.

I expect she loves you.

Dad, look, I've told you to pick up those things!

- I love her. - Well, you're laughing, then, aren't you?

Just so long as you don't end up like them next door.

Nag, nag, nag!

- Can I ask you something? - Yeah.

I'm not getting at you or anything, but have you ever done it with Gladys?

No, I never have.

- With anybody? - Not really.

What does that mean?

Well, you know. Not really.

Well, you're lucky.

It's not that much.

It's not that much without love.

Quiet, quiet, everyone. Bride's cutting cake.

Here you are, Dad.

- Hello. - Auntie Flo.

Oh, I know.

Yes, she won't be laughing tonight.

No, soon ends.

All right, Terry?

I hope you're saving some of that for the toast.

Don't worry, don't worry. Plenty more where that came from.

Who's got a second hand to their watch?

Here you are, Uncle Bob. Thanks. Now, how long?

It's got to be 60 seconds.

- Like a nice big bit of marzipan. - Quite nice, isn't it?

Right, Uncle Bob, time's up. 60 seconds.

Let's see, Uncle Bob.

- That's funny. - What's wrong?

Well, it's not quite perfect.

Oh, Gladys, it's lovely of you. Look at that, Harold.

Where did you get it from, Uncle Bob?

I got it special. I bought it from a bloke at work.

Let's have a look at the instructions.

You've got to heat it up with a cold clip.

Give it here.

Hey, love, have some champagne. Give us your...

- Ha-ha! Lovely. Look at that. - All right, leave that.

Have you got your speech ready? Now just concentrate.

I call upon the best man!

- What? - It's not you. It's not your place.

- It's him... Oh, damn. It's him. - Oh.

Ladies and gentlemen, I call on the best man

to propose the health of the bride and groom.

Ta. Ta.

Ladies and gentlemen, and those of you who've had the operation...

Er... I haven't made any notes for this speech

because, as you know, the wedding was somewhat unexpected.

But I'd like to say this.

Gladys, God bless her,

is by far the most beautiful bride I've seen today...

...and I'm not losing a brother, I'm gaining an extra bed...

...and I wish them health and happiness

in what will seem to be a very long life together.

The bride and groom.

The bride and groom.

Come, Martin.

It's hot in here.

- What? - Bloody hot in here.

Expect your speech did that.

Bloody hot in here. Frozen stiff in church.

I thought the service was beautiful. Don't suppose you noticed.

The last time you were in church, they sprinkled your head with water.

Here, what about this, eh?

Oh, oh, wait a minute.

I went down the beaches of Cornwall

And I saw

- The most beautiful blonde... - Don't worry.

She smiled at me, at me

I smiled at her, at her

And then to my great surprise

She went away from me...

What's the matter with you? It's a bloody wedding, not a funeral.

Always the bloody same.

- Who's this, then? - Well, that's your father.

Oh, and they say there isn't an afterlife.

- Well, I've got one more left. - Good. Well, save it for your funeral.

Look, I've told you.

You've got to focus with this...

with this...

Look, you've got to keep it in a warm place. Focus with this here.

Come on, take Terry and me. Hey, come on.

- The bride's parents. - Shh.

It's all right, they've gone. Everybody's gone.

- Has Harold gone? - Aye, he went hours ago.

- Stand still. - Get your light straight.

Right, I'll focus.

You're not focused. You've never been bloody focused.

Don't jog me. Stand still.

Right, here you are. Give us the whatsit.

Here, come on. Give us the thing you put it in.

- Give us the cold clip. - Oh. Here you are.

Right. Ah, right.

Got to keep it warm.

Should have given Harold that book.

This is the warmest place tonight.

How much did you give for that, then?

How much? I gave a tenner for it. Worth 50.

- Ten? - Aye.

Ten? You were done.

15 seconds and heating up nicely.

What do you mean, I was done? What do you know about cameras?

Well, I know about these, don't I?

Worst bloody wedding photographs I ever did see,

and my own son's wedding too.

Ha! I wanted some lovely photographs and what have I got?

Well, they're neither of them oil paintings, are they?

What's that you say? That's my daughter you're talking about.

- Ha-ha! Your what? - My daughter.

Ha! She was churched anyway.

That's more than we can say for your Doris.

They couldn't get her in the church. She were feeding t'baby.

- Right, time, gentlemen, please! - Don't talk like that about my Doris.

She's the salt of the earth, my Doris.

How is it?

Hey, I think he's got it. By Jove, I think he's got it!

Watch it! Watch it, or it'll be your last time in church.

Go on, give him one!

Go on, smash him, Pop! Rip his bloody shirt off!

Going to be a classic end.

Ah, they'll be all right now.

A little punch-up and a good cry.

Paragraph in the local paper, which I shall probably write.

Here you are. Souvenir.

Let's take the girls home.

What girls? I mean, where are they?

You're right.

Where have all the girls gone?

- Never mind that. - Come on.

Let's go and write peace slogans somewhere.

Oh, let's go home and do it.

What are you going to write anyway?

I'm gonna write, "Dear Harold, wish you were here."

Oh! Your Doris is a twit, though, in't she?

Oh, I wish I was a fly on the wall of Harold's room tonight.

Oh, imagine Gladys.

Oh, hello, hello, hello.

Go on, give it one.

Do you realise I'm 24 years old? Feel more like bloody 60.

Aye, you look bloody 60 as well.

My looks are the results of my efforts to become a great writer.

Did you notice the bridesmaid's teeth?

- Which one? - The one with big boobies.

Do you know, she must have had at least 12 jellies?

You remember her. You danced with her.

- Did I? - Yeah.

Go on, go home. I've had it.

Go on, dream about her teeth rotting in the dark.

Are you all right?

Course I'm all right.

I'm so all right, I wish to be alone.

'I wish to...

'I wish...

'to be alone.

'Be alone.'

'I wish to be alone.'

'Oh, come on now. Let's concentrate.'

'You've got to focus with this.

'Don't worry about tomorrow. I won't let you down.

'Can you imagine Gladys?'

'Well, they're neither of them oil paintings, are they?'

'Come on, Harold, give it to her!'

'The bride's parents and those of you who've had the operation.'

Hey, you know, I went back and tried to date that bridesmaid.

Weddings are funny, aren't they?

How long do they reckon with polio these days?

- It's not polio. - No? What, then?

Don't know. I can't pronounce it. It's not polio, though.

That's last year's disease. They cured that on lumps of sugar.

It's your legs, though, isn't it? You've lost the use of your legs.

Yeah.

Bloody hell.

- Doesn't seem possible, does it? - Does if you're lying here.

They... they don't always mean what they say, do they?

I...I mean, they can cure everything these days.

Look at that other boy. He got better. What... what did he have?

That was quite different, Mother.

Still, he's... he's in a good place, isn't he?

But... but, as he says, they can't keep him in there forever.

I mean, that's what the doctor's telling us in the letter.

I know. I know.

I...I know what he's telling me.

They bring tidings of comfort and joy

He'll be in a wheelchair, won't he, when he comes out?

Yes, dear.

I don't know how you'll get him up and down.

They're completely helpless in a wheelchair.

It's all right. We'll manage.

Ah, we'll just have to look into things.

We'll... look into things.

What are you bloody crying for?

Nothing.

- Pinch my leg. - I've got work to do.

No, pinch it. I thought I felt something this afternoon.

Down in the forest something stirred.

Hey, think I'm good-Iooking from the waist up?

Well, I wouldn't like to have you loose, I tell you.

Pinch it. Go on.

Come on. You're not trying.

Well, I don't trust myself.

Now, you go to sleep.

- I did feel something, you know. - I'm sure you did.

Bloody despair.

'Do you get lots of visitors?'

Fair amount.

Mam, Dad, Harold.

Don't worry about them, though. You eat all you brought.

Don't know what it is. Moment I come inside hospitals, I'm rabid, starving.

Same when my mum was in.

It's my balance. Can't keep my balance.

What about Gladys? Does she come?

She's far too delicate, is our Gladys.

She only comes as far as the waiting room.

Well, you've got to tell him some time, haven't you?

Well, I can't tell him now.

Not tonight.

When, then? You've been saying that for a week.

I don't know.

I've got to pick my moment.

He is my brother.

Well, I'm your wife.

I mean, I feel sorry for him too but we've got our life to think about now.

I mean, his is over.

Don't say that.

It's all right to go in now.

Why don't you come in for once?

It's too morbid, sitting in there.

But I tell you one thing.

If you want any nookie tonight, you'd better break him the news.

Do you see Edna at all?

Aye, she's having it away with Ronnie. Lasted too. They've gone three weeks.

- Harold's Glad's gone too, you know. - Gone?

Aye. She's gone ten weeks.

It's the deafening thud of tiny feet.

Saw her at the bus stop. Says they did it to get on the housing list.

So, Harold's getting a place of his own, then?

Yes. Yes, so I understand.

Have you... have you seen the doctor this week?

Yes, I've seen him.

Good. Pleased with you, was he?

Delighted. Says there's nothing they can do for me.

Well, they've got to say that. They've got to, haven't they?

No, they haven't got to.

Did he write to you, then? Told me he'd written.

I...I think your mother did get a letter.

And?

Well, I think Harold's going to come and have a word with you about it.

He understands it better than I do.

Hey.

Do you think I'll ever walk again?

On my legs. Do you think I'll ever walk?

Oh, hello.

Just finished another poem. Did you read the last one I sent home?

Yes.

- Did you like it? - I didn't understand it.

I didn't think you would. I got two quid for it, all the same.

Well, sit down. You won't catch anything off that chair, you know.

- How's married life, then? - Fine.

I dreamt about Gladys the other night.

Were her thighs burning at four in the morning?

Has it kicked you out of bed yet?

- What? - The fruit of your loins.

That's poetic. Just written that.

Well, you didn't waste much time, did you?

It was a late kick-off but you scored early.

Well, Gladys wanted a family.

Oh, yes.

Well, that's lovely. Helps you to get a council house too, doesn't it?

What does?

Am I talking in another language or something?

I mean, I keep saying things and you keep asking, "What?"

I think you must have been at it too hard.

You're still bloody sarcastic, aren't you?

Ah, that's it. That's what I wanted to hear.

- I know you're ill... - I'm not ill.

- ...and I'm sorry for you. - Well, don't be, cos I'm not ill.

You don't say "ill" to people like me.

- Well, whatever you do say. - I don't say anything.

I just sit here and brood, wait for my friends to tell me all the family news.

- How's Mam and Dad? - Middling. Worried about you.

Well, they needn't be. I'm all right. I've been doing a lot of thinking.

What are they worried about?

What's going to happen to you when you come out of here.

Well, that's all settled. You see, I've got my name down for a house too.

Mind you, I didn't have to get anybody in the family way.

There you are. I've put myself on the transfer list.

You see, Harold...

I don't want to go home.

But this is a place for... cripples.

It's a home for the disabled.

But you can't go into a place like that.

Play it right. Play it right.

Whoa! Break it down. Nice one.

Hello. Mr Pritchard, isn't it? Bruce Pritchard?

Yes, that's right.

Well, you made good time. Matron's waiting.

I'll show you the way.

I'm Bill Chiles, by the way.

- Nice place, isn't it? - Come in.

- Oh! - Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Well, now, Mr Pritchard...

Well, both Mr Pritchards, I should say.

There are very few formalities.

Just take one of these, Bruce, will you?

And you too, Mr Pritchard. You can read it later on.

It's just a little booklet on the home, setting out what goes on here...

- Thank you. - ...and the rules and regulations.

There are one or two rules, of course, like anywhere else,

but on the whole we're very free and easy.

Ha-ha! Only one thing we're a bit sticklish about.

Now, we don't like our residents leaving the premises without consulting us.

Quite sensible, really, under the circumstances, I'm sure you'll agree.

Yes.

No perishable foods in the rooms.

No undue noise.

Oh, and, er...

as this home...

...is run by the Church,

we do like our residents to attend our services whenever possible.

It's all one big family.

Ha-ha! Well, now, Mr Pritchard, would you like to stay and have lunch with us?

- Or must you be getting back? - I'd better get back.

Well, you're very welcome. Now, you mustn't worry.

Your brother's in very good hands here.

- He'll soon settle down. - Yes, I'm sure.

Perhaps you'll just stay and see Bruce's room? Bill?

Yes?

Could you take Bruce and his brother and show them the room?

Yeah.

Matron here.

Quite nice outlook, isn't it?

Fields and that.

I mean, it all seems very nice, don't you think?

You know, when we've settled in and got the garden straight

and the place decorated up a bit...

you can come back for a change, a bit of a holiday.

Well, what do you think of it?

Better or worse than you expected?

Matron seems a jolly sort of person, I thought.

And the staff.

That bloke Bill.

Very friendly.

I mean, I'm satisfied in myself.

And you know we'll all write to you.

Gladys said she'd write.

You let us know how you get on.

Well, I'd better not miss that train.

Take care.

- Work here, do you? - Oh, yeah, on and off.

My wife works here full time.

What do you do, then?

Oh, I mend the bent wheelchairs. We're in here.

Ah! Here is Bruce.

Well, now, Bruce, I hope you like your food.

It's a very good lunch today.

Thank you, Bill. Well, now, introductions.

Of course, you'll soon know us all only too well.

Ha-ha! But in the meantime this is Clarence Marlow.

- Bruce Pritchard. - How do you do?

Clarence is the son of the founder of the home

so we have to keep on the right side of him, don't we?

And, er... Arnold Foster. Bruce Pritchard.

Oh, well, I think the best thing I can do is to leave you in their hands.

They know all the ropes, and all the dodges too, I'm afraid.

They'll take care of you. Now, you mustn't worry. You'll soon settle in.

Enjoy your lunch.

Oh, Mr Dickinson, you won't forget your therapy?

Hello.

Well, Bruce, what are you, then?

What am I?

I mean, are you polio?

No.

Matron says you've come from up north.

That's right.

Hallo.

Well, you've got everything?

Look, there's no need to hang around here on my account.

I'll find my own way around.

Oh, right.

Coffee?

Well, we'll see you later, then.

Everything all right, then, ladies?

Ooh.

- Good afternoon. - Afternoon, Vicar.

You must be Bruce. I'm sorry I wasn't here when you arrived. Corbett.

- The Reverend Corbett, actually. - How do?

I leave the old uniform off whenever I can.

The home's my parish, you see.

Well, how's the old grub?

- Fair enough. - We do our best.

I always take the opportunity of eating here myself, if possible.

It's better than most restaurants. The trouble is keeping the staff.

The last cook we had was a shocker.

Ah, but this one's, touch wood, coming up trumps.

Well, how do you think you'll like being here?

I'm not going to like being here at all.

Fair enough. Life's very difficult, I know.

But I'm sure, Bruce... May I call you that?

...that if you give yourself the chance,

you'll get a lot of help and comfort from God.

- Will I? - Yes, I'm sure of it.

Tell me, if you buy him,

if you buy your God, do you get a money-back guarantee?

How do you mean?

Well, I say, is he going to work the miracle?

Well, he can't work miracles every time for everybody.

Forget about the others. Just concentrate on me.

I think you have to understand God...

- I don't. - ...before He can help.

I don't understand Him.

For one thing, he's a bit too choosy.

Choosy?

He chose me, didn't he?

I'm one of His chosen.

He must have looked down and thought, "That's the one.

"I'll put him on his back."

Bruce, let me say firstly...

if you ever want to talk about this seriously, or about any other problem,

I'm always available.

Well, that's the first thing. But, secondly, just let me say this.

When I look at the state the world's in,

I appreciate why so many young people reject religion.

I don't want you to think I'm out of touch.

Well, these are... these are difficult times for God too, Bruce.

Well, there are new questions every day.

Well, there's the question of celibacy for priests.

Oh, of course, that doesn't affect me. But, well, there's the pill.

Oh, they're big questions, Bruce, big questions,

and I don't think we can get into them straightaway,

over lunch.

But I'll see you again

and, er... look forward to the day when we can have a real heart-to-heart.

Yes, I look forward to that very much.

Ah, Mr Pritchard. Do you play any games?

Yes, football.

- I meant card games. - I have played, yes.

- Bridge? - Strip poker, mostly.

- What did he say? - Strip poker, dear.

Oh, well, I expect that's very nice too.

- 'Your fate is sealed.' - Rubbish. Rubbish.

Just a waste of time to watch it.

'We have spoken.

'You took your revenge to unnecessary lengths.

'You should submit to the will of your master.'

You coming to the show tomorrow night, Bruce?

- What show's that? - Gilbert & Sullivan.

It's only amateur, but they do it very well.

No, thanks, not my cup of tea.

What is your cup of tea?

It's a bit stronger than amateur night at the church hall.

You don't know what you're missing.

They take a lot of trouble to arrange it for us.

Shh.

Well, is there something else you would like to do?

Not just tomorrow, I mean. Celia? You could suggest some things to Bruce.

Yes, of course, anything.

Celia organises the occupational therapy.

What would Bruce like to do?

He doesn't seem quite sure at the moment.

Rug-picking, jewel-making, leather work, painting, woodwork.

- We can arrange any of them. - I don't think so.

Shh!

Well, you've got to have something to occupy your time.

In our position, we have to take what we can get.

We can't pick and choose too much, can we?

- Is it in the rules, then? - No.

What Margaret means is that we have to make the effort, don't we?

Yes. You don't want to be one of those, do you?

- One of what? - The vegetables.

The kitchen gardens, we call them.

The people who do nothing at all, just sit about staring into space.

Shut up, Margaret.

'Yes, even puny mortals like you.

'They came because you dare to defile the sacred flame of light.

'They come to prevent you dabbling further

'in things that you cannot begin to understand.'

Do you ever get sick of making beds?

Yes.

- You're Bill's wife, aren't you? - That's right.

- Nice chap. - I think so.

- Dead energetic. - Well, he certainly is keen.

He's got this dream about building an ideal home for cripples.

Locks on all the doors, a bar, the lot.

- Put my name down for it. - Ha.

How long has that girl been here? Dark hair.

- She reads a lot. - Jill, you mean?

- I think that's her name. - Ooh, five or six years on and off.

She's going home soon. She's engaged.

- Oh. That's nice for her. - Right.

That's your lot. Anything else you need doing?

No, thanks. Oh, you could post this for me. I'll pay for the stamps later.

- What is it? - A story.

- Are you a writer? - Not really. Trying to be.

- Well, what do you write about? - This and that.

What, thrillers? Love stories?

Why should I write love stories?

Well, people do, you know, even people in wheelchairs.

Thanks for telling me.

It's all right. It's all part of the service.

Priorité à droite!

- Sorry. - It's all right.

Er... well, now we've bumped into each other,

you wouldn't like a game of chess, would you?

Er... no, thanks. You haven't seen Miss Mathews, have you?

Jill? Not recently, no.

Any time you want a game of chess...

just let me know.

What do you think?

Of course, you see, if we do have that upholstery,

it's not really going to go with the colour there.

Mind you, if we put a white cushion there,

it might bring it out, do you think?

Yes.

And Mother thinks we ought to get a place a bit nearer her.

- Who's that? - The latest arrival.

Hm. Looks a bit different from the rest.

Yes.

Hey?

Good book?

Not bad. Bit dull.

- Why are you reading it, then? - Oh, I don't know.

Once I begin a book, I always think I've got to finish it.

That's a bloody silly rule for a start.

Depressing, isn't it?

All these people sitting around here in wheelchairs.

- What's your name? - Jill.

- Jill what? - Jill Mathews.

I'm Bruce Pritchard.

I expect you're glad to meet me at last.

- Are you glad to meet me? - Yes.

You don't sound very sure.

Should I be?

I was only trying to make conversation, you know.

I've pulled better than you!

Best of a bad bunch.

Hello?

Hello? What's that, then?

Who is it? What?

What's going on here, then?

- Oh, it's Mr Pritchard. - I'm sorry, I couldn't sleep.

Didn't your bell work? You didn't ring no bell, did you, sir?

I didn't want to worry anybody.

Look, I'm out of my room after hours. Big deal.

It's not the end of the world, is it?

Well.

I hear you're in disgrace.

Yeah, I tried to organise a mass breakout.

Matron took a very dim view.

- How about you? - I'm neutral.

I, er... I thought you might like to have that back.

I found it when I was cleaning up.

I'm afraid she never received it. She left last night.

Her parents took her home.

Well, if you want to bribe me, I'll give you her home address.

No. No, it's not important.

All right. Next time you think of escaping, let me know.

I got the train robbers out.

Drink it up. Good for you.

I hope you're going to stay at home this time, give it a real chance.

It'll make all the difference to your mother.

Yes, well, I am going to try this time.

Don't roses look sad in winter?

Yes. Yes, they do.

We should have a good show this year,

if the late frost doesn't get them again.

Larry! Fancy having her out here without a rug over her.

Oh, you ought to have more sense.

You're supposed to be a doctor.

I'm not supposed to be. I am a doctor, and she's not cold.

It was my fault, Mummy. I just wanted to see the garden.

Well, he ought to have had more sense.

Anyway, dear, it's time you came in now, have your rest,

and then Mr Andre's coming to do your hair for the party.

I suppose I... I know it sounds awfully ungrateful and I...

well, I really don't mean it to be like that,

but, well, I... I suppose I have to have a party, do I?

Well, what do you mean, dear? I've got it all arranged.

Oh. Oh, that's fine.

It's just that I thought, you know, first night home,

it might be nicer just you and Daddy and, well, perhaps Jeffrey.

Well, darling, we've had printed invitations sent out.

All your old friends.

It's easier, Mummy, if I wheel myself.

Oh. Larry, what's the time?

Um... quarter to three.

I've got to, er... get my own hair done, pick up my dress.

Oh, you did see your new dress, didn't you, darling?

- Yes. - I knew you'd like it.

- You did like it, didn't you? - Oh, yes, it's lovely.

Larry, did you remember to ring the local paper for the photographer?

No, I... I'll do that this afternoon.

Don't forget, will you? Because, you know, there might be... the other thing.

No, I'll do it.

Well, I really must rush now, darling.

There's so much to do and if I don't do it, nobody else will.

Remember when we were going to have a swimming pool there?

I've still got the plans in my desk.

They always have leaves, dead leaves in England.

Yes, that's true.

Don't, er... don't get too upset about your mother, will you?

She means well and, you see, you're still her baby.

Oh, Daddy, that's just what's wrong.

I'm not. I'm not her baby.

I'm a 31-year-old crippled woman

with a fiancé who's looking for an out.

- Don't say that. - Daddy, it's true, it's true.

Every time I see Jeffrey, I wish he'd say it, but he's trapped.

He's trapped by Mummy and trapped by pity.

What did she mean about the photographer?

Nothing.

Well, don't ring. I... I don't want a photographer.

I...I don't want anything. I'm not on display.

- Hello, Roy. - Good day, Doctor.

Heidi. Heidi.

Heidi, come here, girl. Come on.

Heidi, come on. Heidi, come on.

Good girl.

Daddy, it's not going to work.

I knew it.

I should never have been talked into coming home.

We just thought it's better, darling.

You've been in and out of homes for five years.

I know, but they leave you alone there.

You can be what you are. You... you can be independent.

I know Mummy means well and I know she loves me,

but she takes what's left away.

There's nothing of me left.

Nothing.

Come in.

- Hello, darling. - Hello.

Let me help you.

Oh, no, don't help me. I must get used to it.

It's just this bed's a different height.

Your hair looks very nice.

I've probably ruined it, lying down.

Mr Andre will cut his wrists. Is he staying for the party?

I'm not sure. There's quite a few coming.

Well, it's my coming-out ball, isn't it?

For the 33rd time.

You look very nice, anyway. Nice dress.

You know, your mother's got very good taste.

Jeffrey.

Can I ask you something?

Yes, of course.

Do you ever think about what's under this dress?

What do you mean?

Do you ever... do you ever think about my breasts?

Do you know what they look like?

They're not deformed, you know. I'm not deformed.

It's just that my legs don't move.

Do you realise you... you don't really kiss me anymore?

You could kiss me now if you wanted to. There's a lock on this door.

It's not like in the home.

Well, someone might want to come in.

Well, suppose they do.

It's all legal and above board. We're both consenting adults.

We're even engaged.

It's been one of the longest engagements in the history of the world.

- People are beginning to talk. - What people?

All those people out there, wondering when you're going to name the day.

What they don't know is, you... you can't name the day, can you, Jeffrey?

Do you love me?

Yes, I... I've always loved you.

Then if you love me,

why don't you put yourself out of this agony?

It's quite easy, really. You just...

you just say,

"I do love you, but I can't marry you, because I'm frightened."

We'll all get over it.

Even Mummy will get over it if...

if there's something else to feel sorry about.

After all, it's what you want.

Well, it's not what I want.

No, but it's more honest and it's more loving than this...

and then you could kiss me.

You could kiss me without feeling sorry for me,

and, oh, that would be so nice.

What are you two lovebirds up to?

Ah, doesn't she look pretty?

You look so pretty, my baby.

You look so pretty.

Hm. A masterly stroke, if I may say so.

The young genius leans back in his chair, triumphant.

But the old grandmaster has anticipated the move

and, with that breathtaking casualness

that has made him a household name before the age of three,

strikes back with his bishop.

Sod it. Didn't see that.

Do you scream for mercy?

Not on your nelly.

Give you the game.

- Hello. - Hello.

Read any good books lately?

- Read any dull books lately? - No.

I never thought I'd see you again.

- Didn't you? - No, thought that was it.

I'm glad you're back.

Oh, that sounds funny. I didn't mean that. You know what I mean. I...

Lunch is ready.

I'm sorry you had to come back but, since you are back, I'm glad.

Come on. She's called us into lunch.

Are you back for good?

Yes, I am.

I, er...

I wrote you a letter.

Never got round to posting it.

- Oh, come on, Bruce. - Come on, Bruce.

Go on.

- I must tell you about this girl. - Which one?

Had in Huddersfield. She was, er... French, she said.

Took me to this cafe. She got me drunk, you see, on Pernod.

- Yeah, Pernod. - What else?

- You know what happened, of course. - No. What?

I got drunk.

What do you think they'd say, my proud beauty...

if I leant right across this table and kissed you on the lips?

They'd say,

"There lies Bruce Pritchard, who fell flat on his face."

- That's what they'd say. - Well, that's shut me up, then, hasn't it?

Tell me some more about your story.

My story? Story? What story? Oh, my story.

Well, I've started it again. I read it this morning and I went right off it.

It's no good. It's too sordid.

I think I'm entering my lyrical period,

and my bladder control's getting better all the time.

Oh, you are funny. I do love you when you're funny.

Ah, but do you love me when I'm not funny?

Ah, such a credit, Vicar. Good afternoon, Matron.

Oh, good afternoon, Mr Thomas. So nice to see you.

Thank you. Oh, I must say, these teddy bears look remarkable.

Yes, well, buy as many as you like.

- I liked the plastic flowers. - Excellent, excellent.

The colours are so natural, don't you think?

Very natural, yes.

And they're very easy to make, you know, even with one hand.

Oh, really? I think my daughter would like those.

Well, this is a good turnout. Most encouraging.

Yes, one or two faces missing, though.

Had enough?

Wonder I'm not paralysed facially.

- What are they like? - What are they like?

They're all yahoos.

Do you realise I've spent my entire life in this noble edifice,

being gracious to well-meaning, kind-thinking, holy bloody bores?

I hate every minute of it.

I wish to God they'd let me die after the accident.

Well, what's going on in here? A meeting of the secret society?

No, we're holding a fertility rite, Matron.

Well, we must put on a good face, mustn't we? Play our part.

Clarence?

Clarence, I think for the sake of your father,

you ought to be mingling with our guests.

After all, it's your father we're honouring today.

He's got the CBE. What more does he want?

Jill, I'm sure you want to come.

We can't all be selfish, can we?

Onward, Christian soldiers

Marching as to war...

Ah, our young intellectuals.

Well, Jill here is studying to, er...

Er... what is it you're studying, Jill?

Well, I was studying medicine but I've sort of given that up now.

I...I was hoping...

You've given it up, have you? Interesting.

And, er... Bruce here... Bruce here's a writer.

A writer? I knew a writer once.

Wrote about antique furniture and all that and how to repair it.

- Antique furniture? Fascinating. - Mm.

- What do you scribble about? - Antique sex, mostly.

I'll send you something of mine in a plain sealed wrapper.

Yes. Yes.

Excuse me.

How fascinating! Some of them can move.

Yes, and they speak too. That one talked quite clearly.

Have you noticed? Some of them have got five fingers.

- That bloke over there's got it. - Sad, isn't it?

Doctors say five fingers on the hand is almost impossible to cure.

Oh, they get it from shaking, you know.

Mm. Still, they all look terribly cheerful.

Oh, yes. Some of them are very brave.

Imagine going through life on legs.

Yes, and you'd be surprised how clever they are on those legs,

once they get used to them.

You know, some of them even dance.

How fascinating! Do you think they'll dance for us?

Oh, no. They only do that on special occasions.

They have to have injections first.

What kind of injections?

They inject them with gin.

Hey! I've won a prize. Which one would you like?

Er... oh, could I have her?

She's sweet.

I really don't know what to say. You were inexcusably rude, both of you.

- Inexcusably rude. - Yes.

Mm, and I think it should be pointed out

that the continued existence of this home

depends on the goodwill of the people you insulted.

Yes, well, I... I'm sure they both realise that.

- I'm not so sure. - It was just high spirits.

This is your home.

It may not be the one you wished for or expected to end up in,

but the fact remains that you must now make your lives here

and so you have certain obligations.

That is what I tell them.

Yes, and Matron tells me that the reports on you, Mr Pritchard,

are very disturbing, always have been.

But now you seem to be exerting your influence on Miss Mathews

and, quite frankly, it won't do.

We can't compel you to behave decently.

This isn't a reformatory for wayward boys and girls.

It's a... social unit held together by the Church

and must be treated as such.

I understand from the Vicar

that you haven't been inside our church since you arrived here.

Well, I daresay we shall see him admitted

to the kingdom of heaven in the end, Mr Latbury.

Oh, no, not me.

Deuteronomy chapter 23, verse 1,

and I quote,

"He whose testicles are crushed or whose male member is cut off

"shall not enter the assembly of the Lord."

- That's me, ladies and gentlemen. - Now, Bruce...

You see, madam, I've still got my works but I can't do anything with them.

The engine's all right but the wheels won't go round.

I'm very sorry, Mrs Etherington. I really can't apologise enough.

You are a disgusting young man,

disgusting in a way that your disability cannot excuse.

Kindly get out of our sight.

I shall pray for you, Bruce. We all will.

He's beyond prayer.

Good God! You can catch it form a weasel.

- Catch what? - Rat-bite fever.

It says here out of 39 proved cases recorded by Watkins,

- 37 followed by the bite of a rat... - Listen.

- ...one by the bite of a weasel. - You can turn that down.

From what I gather, your credit's a bit overdrawn.

Oh, yes, turn it off, darling. Go on, I want to listen to Bill.

- You've got him house-trained. - Oh, yes.

Go on with your plan about the day out. It sounds marvellous.

Well, it's not a plan. It's just an idea, really.

Originally it was just for you.

- I don't know about your friend. - Ah.

Oh, well, I suppose we can pack an extra bedpan, can't we, love?

Oh, charming.

Do you think Matron will give permission?

She'll be glad to see the back of you two,

get this place back to normal.

Oh, I love the sea. Isn't it exciting?

Good evening, Matron.

You are aware of the time, are you, Mr Chiles?

Yes, Matron, yes.

Thank you.

Stand by your bedpan!

Yeah, well, er... since I'm basically a coward

and I'm a bit behind with my National Health Stamps,

I'm gonna take you for a quick sprint down the corridor.

Got your bedtime story?

- Good night, love. - Night-night.

- Good night. - Good night, Sarah.

- See you in the car park. - Right.

I do like to be beside the seaside

I do like to be beside the sea...

'Oh, he's mad.'

I wrote a poem.

I, um... thought you might like to hear it.

- Would you like me to read it to you? - Yes, I would.

I know I'm not your actual, er... Dylan Thomas.

In the morning of my life were many things,

holiday, summer, open days,

breathless with the heartbreak of time fleeing,

and in my heart a child's adventure beating.

Hold these days.

They're non-repeating.

Never again will a stone fascinate.

Pick it up, feel its rough smoothness.

Unlid a child's eye,

seek a target, wind back the arm and throw,

never again.

I love you.

- Where is she? - Don't worry. She's on her way.

But it'll have to be short and sweet, I'm afraid.

What am I sticking my neck out for? That's what I want to know.

- Because we're all men of the world. - Don't push your luck.

I've got one more bed to make and it's lights out.

I'm all for young love, but not at the expense of middle-aged love.

Why are we doing it?

Because we're mad and middle-aged.

You go and do your bed. I'll keep cavey.

I think I ought to warn you.

In the time allotted to me, I intend to kiss you.

That's what I intend.

There's just one problem.

Er... excuse the familiarity, but have you any idea how it can be done?

- Well, I've... I've thought about it. - Ah, so have I.

I couldn't really work it out on my own.

- Well, I've been practising. - Oh.

It could go something like this.

Just come a bit closer.

That's it. Mind your hand.

Put your brake on.

You smell nice. What is it?

I don't know. It's just the soap I use. I... I don't know.

I'd forgotten what girls smell like.

Let's take this out.

Careful.

You comfy?

No, but I don't mind.

Look, love, it...

it probably won't be very good the first time.

It wasn't very good, was it?

If you didn't talk so much and practised more,

you could be perfect.

I used to be so rough with girls.

Never bloody cared.

How did Jeffrey kiss you?

With his eyes open.

I hate that bloody Jeffrey...

because he kissed you before I did.

I didn't know you then, did I?

Just as well. You wouldn't have looked at me twice.

I'm much nicer crippled.

Did you have many girls?

- Does it worry you? - No, I... I just envy them.

Shall we have a pact?

I won't talk about Jeffrey, if you don't mention my sordid past.

I thought about you a lot when you were away.

Did you?

Wasn't the only letter I wrote you, you know.

I never posted any of them, of course.

I'm not very good at talking things, but I can write them down.

I thought about you too.

What? What did you think about me?

Well, I thought you'd got beautiful blue eyes.

- I was rude, though, wasn't I? - Oh, no, not really.

Yes, I was. I didn't know how else to make you notice me.

- Had you noticed me before then? - Oh, yes.

Well, you never let on.

Well, I... I couldn't come up to you, could I?

Why not? You've got wheels, haven't you?

You've been doing it longer than I have.

Can you do any tricks like Clarence?

Poor old Clarence.

Yeah, but not poor old us, though, eh?

No, not any more.

Time, gentlemen, please.

Watch it. Buy you a new clock for Christmas.

- Good night, Mr Pritchard. - Good night, Mr Pritchard.

Good night, Miss Mathews.

I'll come back and tuck you up in a minute.

Promises.

- ...three. - Go!

No cheating.

- Hey! Move over! Hey! - Move over?

Come on. Come on. What does the winner get?

- You're a cheat! - No, I'm not!

Right to the end, and then the first one to turn round!

Hey, wait for me!

Come on, I'll give you a hand.

Come in.

Sorry I'm late getting here.

I've had to sort out a four-chair pile-up over at Uxbridge.

They're a mad lot down there.

It's like the motorway sometimes.

- Well, what can I do for you? - The right-hand wheel's a bit stiff.

Well, it seems all right. I'll put a spot of oil on it tomorrow.

Well, how are things otherwise? Sarah tells me you're writing a lot these days.

- Trying. - Any success?

I've sold a couple of poems. No luck with the stories yet.

Well, there's plenty of material in here. Why don't you write your own story?

Cos it hasn't got a middle or an end.

Very good.

Oh, well, suppose I'd better go and take the missus home.

- Can I borrow this? - Sure, help yourself.

Cheers.

This new place you're gonna build.

Will people be able to sleep together?

Well, I take it that, by that, you mean, will people...

I should have said cripples.

Will cripples of the opposite sex be able to sleep together?

- Yes. - Yeah, I thought you did.

Well, the answer's yes, but I haven't built it yet.

No chance of it happening here, I suppose?

Well, this place runs on church funds

and God works in mysterious ways, you know.

- Good night, matey. - Good night.

Come in.

Letter for you, Bruce.

Thank you, Matron. Very kind of you to deliver it personally, Matron.

- That a new record, Jill? - Yes, Matron.

That's what they call a hit, is it? Ha-ha.

Hey! I've sold a story.

Have you really? Oh, darling, how marvellous!

- Do they pay you for it? - Yes, £200.

Gracious! Well, that seems very good for one story.

Well, lunch in a quarter of an hour. Try not to be late.

- Oh, darling, I knew you could. - So did I.

And £200!

Well, it's only 20 really.

- 20? - I thought I'd give her a bit of a thrill.

It was either that or telling her to mind her own business.

You are awful. Still, I mean, 20, that's pretty good.

- Hm. Yeah. Do you want to read it? - Oh, yes.

You'd better put your glasses on, darling.

Oh.

Now,

they say you show exceptional originality.

- With which you agree. - Oh, with which I agree.

It was very original of me to fall in love with you.

Mm, probably the most original thing you've ever done.

- Second. - Oh, what was the first?

Well, I put the shutters up on Jeffrey, didn't I?

Oh, that's not fair. I can't get my own back.

I don't know the names of any of your ex-girlfriends.

I'll supply you with a typewritten list,

and, furthermore,

with the wages of sin recently acquired,

I shall buy you what is known throughout the Christian world

as an engagement ring,

which isn't exactly original, I know...

except that I haven't done it before.

- We bought it in Woolworths. - Woolworths!

- Ta-da! - I love it.

Beautiful.

I bought one as well. I thought, well, in for a penny...

In for a five and six.

Nine bob. We were extravagant.

- Fantastic, isn't it? - It's fabulous, it really is.

You know we're going to start a new thing?

We're gonna change 'em every week or every time her finger turns green.

- Really? - Oh, it's beautiful.

Jill, let's see it again.

Pretty setting, isn't it? I think it's Victorian.

Isn't she lucky to have a silver wedding ring?

Yes, well, if you ask me, you're crippled in the head as well as everywhere else.

I mean, I don't want to be a wet blanket.

Of course not.

But you're off your chop, aren't you? I mean, it can't come to anything.

How do you know?

Well, what are they going to live on?

That's no business of ours.

Well, of course it is. Somebody's got to ask the question.

- You fixed the date yet? - Not yet.

Don't tell me you're going to get married in a church?

- Registry office. - Thank God for that.

Well, I think it's marvellous.

About time somebody here did something positive for once.

Wish it would give you ideas.

You're beginning to look like an old maid yourself.

Which jeweller's did you go to?

Well, it's rather an exclusive jeweller's, really.

- On Lyon Street? - Yes, that's the one.

Well, I must say, it's wonderful news. Wonderful.

Thank you.

Shall we be invited to the wedding?

- Oh, yes. - Of course. You're all invited.

We're going to have crossed wheelchairs.

Excuse me.

Mr Pritchard, Matron would like to see you and Miss Mathews.

- Oh, right. - Oh.

- Oh, well, the best of luck, then. - Thank you.

Good luck.

A perfect end to a perfect day.

Wasn't it a pretty ring?

Yes. You can always tell the real thing.

I think what Matron and I feel, Bruce,

is that marriage is a tremendous step for everyone.

For young people in your position, well, obviously,

there are extra considerations, extra difficulties.

Yes, well, we have thought about it.

I'm sure you have.

I am quite sure neither of you is a fool,

but I must point out that we have no facilities here for married couples.

Yes, that's quite true. There are no facilities.

Well, we don't expect to stay on here.

What are you going to live on, Jill?

Well, what most people live on, Vicar. Money.

- Where's it coming from? - We'll manage. Don't worry.

I know your writing's coming along, Bruce, and I'm very happy for you,

but, er... that's somewhat precarious sand to build your castle on.

What castle?

I think I know what you mean.

Well, I have some money of my own until Bruce makes his name as a writer.

Yes, but where are you going to live?

Jill, you've got to have somewhere to live.

- Do your parents know about this? - Oh, yes, I've written to them.

What did they say?

Well, they... they won't have got the letter yet.

Hm.

Couldn't you just continue as you are?

- Well, stay engaged, of course. - No.

But why not? It would make things so much easier.

- Easier for who, Matron? - For everybody.

I think there's an awful lot of sense in what Matron's suggesting.

We're in love, Vicar. I love Jill.

Hello. Been looking for you.

- George says you've got a letter. - Yeah.

The lovely Gladys finally put pen to paper.

They're not coming to the wedding. She can't travel. Ankles are swollen.

I expect she's as toxic as a crow, the size of a bloody house.

Your mother and father are coming, aren't they?

Sure, they wouldn't miss a wedding for anything.

Well, not depressed, are you?

No, all the more champagne for us.

I just used sit around and will myself to stop breathing.

I don't think I ever really believed in anything before I met you.

Do you know what I thought? I thought I could change the bloody world.

That's what I thought.

But, do you know, I think it must have changed me?

Well, I suppose I... I cared about Jeffrey,

but it wasn't the same as you and me.

They, er... they could have the spare room, couldn't they?

I mean, I could fix it up for 'em.

- Are you sure? - Yeah.

Well, you wouldn't like an argument, would you?

No, not particularly.

Don't tell 'em, though. Let's fix it up for 'em first.

You're a super old bugger, really, aren't you?

Yes, I am.

See, you can't go by appearances.

Come in.

- Hello, darling. - What's all this, then?

Nothing. Just having a bit of a lie-in, that's all.

Margaret tells me you don't feel very well.

Oh, she always gets the wrong end of the stick.

Do you know, I think that's the prettiest ring I've ever seen?

- You wearing yours? - Course.

Let's see.

- Hm. - What's the matter with you, then?

Nothing. You going to fuss like this when we're married?

Hm. Probably.

Look, I'm a doctor's daughter. My father never used to fuss.

He always used to say he never had time for me to be ill so I was never ill.

You got polio, though, didn't you, eh?

Anyway, you're my responsibility now. You're not at home.

Hey! Can I have this?

- What? - It is you, isn't it?

But it's ghastly. You don't want that.

Yes, I do. How old were you when it was taken?

I don't know. Ten or something.

Lovely.

- All white and virginal. - Well, I should hope so at ten.

Hm. Hey, I tell you what I woke up thinking this morning.

I shall treasure this, you know.

I think I ought to get a job, earn some money to keep us.

But you've got a job. You're a writer.

No, no, I mean a real job.

I've been having a... a talk with Hugh,

and he reckons he can get me in where he works.

What as?

On the switchboard, a telephonist.

No, I think I'll be very good at it.

I could listen in to all the conversations.

Anyway, I could phone you for free. Check up on you. Ha-ha!

Maybe I could make some obscene phone calls.

- Would you hang up on me? - Not if it's you.

Hey, I've just realised something.

What?

It's the first time I've ever seen you in bed.

I've never shared a bed. Have you?

Oh.

Tell a lie. I used to share with Harold.

Harold!

Does it scare you, thinking about us?

No.

Nothing about you scares me.

'It's terrible to think, really, isn't it?

'Terrible to think that you can never have children.

'I never really thought about it before.

'It hurts, really.

'To think about it.'

'Do you like children?'

'I never really wanted to have children until this happened,

'and then suddenly it seemed terribly important.'

'They say people like us can't have children.

'I've been reading it up in these medical books

'and it's possible, I'm sure it is.

'Suppose you were a good child, were you?

'I was a little bugger.

'My mother used to take me to Blackpool.

'I used to lift up all the old ladies' skirts on the prom.

'I enjoyed that.'

I could never score with my head anyway.

I wonder what sort of questions they'll ask me tomorrow at that interview.

I hope I get it. Hugh thinks I've got a very good chance.

I know you'll get it.

Hm.

Is there anything I shouldn't do? Anything you've noticed about me?

You know, funny things I might do.

No, silly.

Just remember not to sit down till they tell you to, that's all.

You are mad.

We're both mad, aren't we?

Hm? You...

and me.

Mad, mad.

Do you think we're mad?

Oh, I suppose so.

But I can't do anything about it.

You can't please everybody, when you're in love.

I wish you could lock the door.

You're so warm in my hand.

I love you so very, very much.

Hey, don't cry. There's nothing to cry about.

I'm not.

It's no good being in love if it makes you cry.

I'm not crying.

- I only want to make you happy. - Oh, you do.

What?

You do.

That's why you're crying? Because you're happy?

You're going to be crying for all your married life, then.

Will you stay with me,

just until I go to sleep?

- If you want me to. - Yes, I do.

Do you want me to read to you?

No.

When I get this job and I'm a famous writer...

and you're a world-famous biochemist,

you'll invent the cure...

and I'll write your biography and...

and I'll stay with you every night,

and we'll look back and we'll remember this one, won't we?

We'll remember when we were a bit mad.

You have to be a bit mad sometimes...

otherwise it isn't possible...

and I do so want it to be possible, just once.

Hold me.

Come on, mate, wake up. We're late.

Come on. You've only got about a quarter of an hour.

- What? - The interview.

We're supposed to be there at ten. It's quarter past nine now.

- Oh, my God. - Look, I tell you what.

I'll go and get you some toast and you can eat it on the way.

Oh, and don't cut yourself shaving.

- They don't employ bleeders. - 'George!'

- Hallo. - George! Sorry I'm late.

Can you do us a favour? Give a message to Miss Mathews.

- Tell her I'll phone her. - OK, leave it to me.

- Come on, come on. - Don't forget, will you, George?

Oh, she'll get the message. I'll do it now.

Where is she?

She wasn't very well at lunch time.

I've had her taken to hospital.

- What are you talking about? - Just a precaution.

What kind of precaution?

Just to be on the safe side.

- Would you like a cup of tea? - No, thanks.

We've just refused some, actually.

Oh. Well, have them now I've brought them.

She's dead, isn't she?

Yes, Mr Pritchard. I'm afraid there was nothing we could do.

You see, sometimes people in her condition catch these viruses

and they can't resist them like...

well, er... like most people.

She didn't suffer at all. It was all very quick.

I'm very sorry.

I've pissed myself.

Don't worry. It's nothing.

- All over my chair. - It doesn't matter.

It does matter.

Everything matters.

If I don't believe that, I've had it.