All language subtitles for Harley Quinn - 02x10 - Dye Hard.ANTAGONiST+BTX.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,820 --> 00:00:05,420 [DC THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:08,422 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 3 00:00:22,170 --> 00:00:26,478 How can he call himself Batman if he's not part bat? 4 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:29,948 He's just a dude who dresses up like a bat. 5 00:00:29,950 --> 00:00:32,878 That's animal appropriation. 6 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:36,718 Hey, everybody! How was Kite Man's bachelor party? 7 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:40,188 I got married and saved the Oceanic Trade Federation. 8 00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:41,588 Other than that, pretty chill. 9 00:00:41,590 --> 00:00:43,958 How was Ivy's bachelorette bash? 10 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,590 It was great. It was so great. 11 00:00:45,592 --> 00:00:47,198 Emotionally low stakes, you know. 12 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:48,933 I had a great time. Ivy had a great time. 13 00:00:48,935 --> 00:00:50,568 We slept in separate beds... 14 00:00:50,570 --> 00:00:53,568 Normal bachelorette stuff. So, yeah... 15 00:00:53,570 --> 00:00:56,408 Well, hey! I'm just, I'm ready to keep the party going! 16 00:00:56,410 --> 00:00:57,828 [BLOWS AIR HORN] 17 00:00:57,830 --> 00:00:59,229 Who wants to get a drink with me? 18 00:00:59,231 --> 00:01:01,848 One or two? Or a few drinks? Or a lot of drinks? 19 00:01:01,850 --> 00:01:05,348 Drink so much we forget the last 48 hours or maybe more? 20 00:01:05,350 --> 00:01:08,918 Oh. I'd love to but I gotta be with my wife, Tabitha. 21 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:10,848 Sunday's are big at her family. 22 00:01:10,850 --> 00:01:12,498 They are very religious, 23 00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:14,488 seeing as how Jesus was really a shark. 24 00:01:14,490 --> 00:01:16,018 What about you, Clayface? 25 00:01:16,020 --> 00:01:18,488 I, too, am spending this evening with a paramour. 26 00:01:18,490 --> 00:01:19,898 His name is Tony. 27 00:01:19,900 --> 00:01:22,628 And he's the only award show that matters. 28 00:01:22,630 --> 00:01:26,030 Okay, have fun, guys... 29 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:31,468 [HARLEY SIGHS] 30 00:01:31,470 --> 00:01:33,908 A landlord always knows two things: 31 00:01:33,910 --> 00:01:35,279 when an oven's busted, 32 00:01:35,281 --> 00:01:37,808 'cause ya can't charge rent without a working oven... 33 00:01:37,810 --> 00:01:38,978 [CHUCKLES] 34 00:01:38,980 --> 00:01:40,748 and when a tenant's blue. 35 00:01:40,750 --> 00:01:42,248 So, spill it, hon, 36 00:01:42,250 --> 00:01:43,988 or I could get my torture kit? 37 00:01:43,990 --> 00:01:47,418 It's just, everybody's got somebody special in their lives, 38 00:01:47,420 --> 00:01:49,028 - except me... - So what? 39 00:01:49,030 --> 00:01:51,028 You don't need a lover to be happy. 40 00:01:51,030 --> 00:01:53,558 Do the thing that makes you happy. 41 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:56,428 Life is about feeding your soul! 42 00:01:56,430 --> 00:01:58,798 Yeah, no. I'm just gonna go out and boink the fuck out of somebody. 43 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:01,568 Let's get this party started, bitches! 44 00:02:01,570 --> 00:02:04,738 Harley Quinn's here and she's down to clown! 45 00:02:04,740 --> 00:02:07,778 [CLEARS THROAT] Do you have a reservation? 46 00:02:07,780 --> 00:02:10,948 - Um, no. - You'll have to clown at the bar, then. 47 00:02:10,950 --> 00:02:12,718 [SIGH] 48 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:14,650 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 49 00:02:16,820 --> 00:02:19,618 Room for Squares is, of course, a classic, 50 00:02:19,620 --> 00:02:21,520 but it's really John Mayer's third album 51 00:02:21,522 --> 00:02:24,628 when he solidified the John Mayer sound. 52 00:02:24,630 --> 00:02:26,628 - [YAWNS] - So, my place or yours? 53 00:02:26,630 --> 00:02:29,600 Actually, I'm just gonna stop talking to you right now. 54 00:02:31,330 --> 00:02:33,298 God. The guys in this place suck. 55 00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:34,868 Yeah, well, they beat the food. 56 00:02:34,870 --> 00:02:36,668 But what do you expect from a Wayne? 57 00:02:36,670 --> 00:02:38,018 [BOTH LAUGH] 58 00:02:38,020 --> 00:02:40,008 That's the first funny thing a guy's said to me all night. 59 00:02:40,010 --> 00:02:42,710 If you like that, I got plenty more jokes. 60 00:02:43,710 --> 00:02:45,510 [JOKER LAUGHING] 61 00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:50,690 You gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me. 62 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,988 [GORDON] I want a squad of men and a single woman 63 00:02:54,990 --> 00:02:57,758 over to the oil refinery district, ASAP. 64 00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,199 Those Parademon bastards 65 00:02:59,201 --> 00:03:01,728 are chugging down oil like a desperate teen to Benadryl. 66 00:03:01,730 --> 00:03:04,968 Then send another unit, same gender ratio, to Gotham Park. 67 00:03:04,970 --> 00:03:07,068 And a third crew to... Jesus! 68 00:03:07,070 --> 00:03:10,738 Those hell-rats are spreading faster than chlamyd' on my knob! 69 00:03:10,740 --> 00:03:11,959 - Where, sir? - My privates! 70 00:03:11,961 --> 00:03:13,508 Where else would an STD spread? 71 00:03:13,510 --> 00:03:15,678 I meant where do you want the third squad, sir? 72 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:16,708 Oh. The harbor. 73 00:03:16,710 --> 00:03:18,778 - Commissioner, sir! This came for you. - Oh! 74 00:03:18,780 --> 00:03:20,878 Gotta be the new Dave Barry book I ordered. 75 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:22,919 Every time I read this guy's stuff I'm like... 76 00:03:22,921 --> 00:03:23,950 "That's pretty funny". 77 00:03:24,890 --> 00:03:26,390 - The Dark Knight needs me. - _ 78 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:31,260 Oh! He remembered. 79 00:03:33,530 --> 00:03:34,900 [BATMAN] Jim, get in. 80 00:03:36,430 --> 00:03:39,540 [SNORING] No, don't go in, Magnum. 81 00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,508 [LOUD BANG] 82 00:03:42,510 --> 00:03:44,768 Oh. It's you. 83 00:03:44,770 --> 00:03:46,258 I thought ya left the crew. 84 00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:48,031 I'm so sorry, I would've called 85 00:03:48,033 --> 00:03:49,538 but I never got your phone number. 86 00:03:49,540 --> 00:03:51,878 - Oh, well, mine's 203... - Don't care. 87 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:53,348 I'm gonna get my stuff and head out. 88 00:03:53,350 --> 00:03:55,918 So you're really gonna just leave Harley 89 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:57,658 after everything she did for you? 90 00:03:57,660 --> 00:04:01,058 Okay look, I'm in a very zen place, and we have very different goals. 91 00:04:01,060 --> 00:04:03,506 I wanna trounce the skulls of my fallen foes, 92 00:04:03,508 --> 00:04:05,082 and she wants to... I don't know, 93 00:04:05,084 --> 00:04:06,758 do whatever someone with a moral compass does. 94 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:08,528 You ungrateful little shit! 95 00:04:08,530 --> 00:04:11,768 You leave the dance with the one you brought! 96 00:04:11,770 --> 00:04:14,098 - Riddle me this... - Oh, shut the fuck up! 97 00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:17,538 Can't you see I'm trying to elegantly end this conversation 98 00:04:17,540 --> 00:04:19,638 with this mechanical fossil? 99 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:21,808 Good luck getting out again, fuck head! 100 00:04:21,810 --> 00:04:24,378 Alright, so I fortified the shackles on that hamster wheel. 101 00:04:24,380 --> 00:04:26,019 It's basically impenetrable. 102 00:04:26,021 --> 00:04:27,563 Feed him at 5:00, shock him at 7:00. 103 00:04:27,565 --> 00:04:29,088 Maybe a snack at 9:00 if he's good. 104 00:04:29,090 --> 00:04:32,048 Have fun dying alone, you fuckin' freak! 105 00:04:32,050 --> 00:04:33,620 Smell ya later, old man. 106 00:04:36,630 --> 00:04:39,360 [SCREAMING] 107 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:43,468 Jiminy, you look familiar. Do I know you? 108 00:04:43,470 --> 00:04:45,768 No! No, no, I have a very common look. 109 00:04:45,770 --> 00:04:48,108 Oh, I remember you from Noonan's! 110 00:04:48,110 --> 00:04:49,397 You probably don't remember me 111 00:04:49,399 --> 00:04:50,938 because I was a low-rent barback, 112 00:04:50,940 --> 00:04:53,708 and now I'm an upscale bartender. 113 00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:57,708 It's a meteoric rise virtually unheard of in this industry. 114 00:04:57,710 --> 00:05:01,678 Hey! Wait, hold on. Can I offer you a Wayne fashioned? 115 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:04,148 It's like an old fashioned, but more expensive. 116 00:05:04,150 --> 00:05:07,558 Ya think all ya gotta do is buy me one spirit-forward drink 117 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:08,858 and I'll go gushy for ya? 118 00:05:08,860 --> 00:05:10,488 Uh, not gonna happen. 119 00:05:10,490 --> 00:05:13,098 Whoa, to be clear, I'm not trying to hit on you. 120 00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:16,568 I'm unbelievably happy with my wonderful girlfriend. 121 00:05:16,570 --> 00:05:18,468 Mmm, sweet as pie. 122 00:05:18,470 --> 00:05:20,198 Why couldn't you have just died? 123 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:22,598 Gosh, I love her. And our kids. 124 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,289 Well, you know, her kids, 125 00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:27,578 but gosh darn it if they don't feel like mine, y'know? 126 00:05:27,580 --> 00:05:29,678 I don't know, and I don't need to know. 127 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:32,718 All I know is, right now, you're the last person I wanna be around! 128 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:34,779 - I'm hittin' a different bar. - Hoo, boy. Good luck. 129 00:05:34,781 --> 00:05:37,688 Every watering hole around here has been infested with Parademons, 130 00:05:37,690 --> 00:05:39,548 except this one on account of the... 131 00:05:39,550 --> 00:05:41,988 - [THUDS] - ... bulletproof glass. 132 00:05:41,990 --> 00:05:45,758 Yep, the top of Wayne tower is the safest bar in town. 133 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:47,828 - [DOOR SLAMS OPEN] - Hey, everybody! 134 00:05:47,830 --> 00:05:52,598 Sorry to alarm you, but you're in a hostile hostage situation. 135 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,668 - Hi, how are you doing? - [MACHINE GUN FIRING] 136 00:05:54,670 --> 00:05:57,408 Geez, Nicholas. Not that hostile. 137 00:05:57,410 --> 00:05:59,038 I'm sorry, everyone, it's his first day. 138 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:00,138 [ALL GASPING] 139 00:06:00,140 --> 00:06:02,078 Hey, where are you going? 140 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:05,848 I've read your best chance of survival is giving up easily. 141 00:06:05,850 --> 00:06:08,218 Yeah, normally, I'd go beat the shit out of 'em, 142 00:06:08,220 --> 00:06:10,188 but I'm havin' a night and wanna be able to return this dress. 143 00:06:10,190 --> 00:06:12,078 So, you're just gonna escape? 144 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,488 Uh, yeah. I'm not spending my big night out here, 145 00:06:14,490 --> 00:06:17,028 - and certainly not with the likes of you. - [THIEF] Oh, sugar. 146 00:06:17,030 --> 00:06:18,860 - We got a wild one. - [THUD] 147 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:22,700 [GROANS] 148 00:06:24,700 --> 00:06:26,139 You gotta be kidding me. 149 00:06:26,141 --> 00:06:27,388 [MAN ON RADIO] Look, bud, all we're asking 150 00:06:27,390 --> 00:06:29,308 is that you release the swanky hostages. 151 00:06:29,310 --> 00:06:34,278 Not gonna happen until I get $50 million! 152 00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:36,908 I'll wire it to you right now! Please! 153 00:06:36,910 --> 00:06:39,048 Hold your horses, I wasn't done. 154 00:06:39,050 --> 00:06:41,148 But let's defiantly sidebar after. 155 00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:44,718 Also, gonna need a W76-2 nuclear warhead 156 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:46,758 on a Trident II D5 missile... 157 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:50,888 I'm a military contractor. You can have it. Just don't shoot! 158 00:06:50,890 --> 00:06:54,158 Wow. Okay. Well, you know, while we're here... 159 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:59,360 I'm also gonna need a pair of game-worn Air Jordan 2 OG's. 160 00:07:00,540 --> 00:07:02,168 Would ya stop starin' at me? 161 00:07:02,170 --> 00:07:03,968 Sorry, it's just... 162 00:07:03,970 --> 00:07:06,208 this is gonna sound crazy, but... 163 00:07:06,210 --> 00:07:08,608 since we're not going anywhere anytime soon... 164 00:07:08,610 --> 00:07:12,648 after the first time we met, I had a dream about you! 165 00:07:12,650 --> 00:07:15,218 - Boy was it wacky. - Wacky how? 166 00:07:15,220 --> 00:07:17,948 We were on a yacht with these bankers. 167 00:07:17,950 --> 00:07:21,118 And get this: we were a couple! Right? 168 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:23,288 Us? No way! 169 00:07:23,290 --> 00:07:25,658 That bleached skin gives me the heebie-jeebies. 170 00:07:25,660 --> 00:07:28,058 It's gross. I mean, no offense! 171 00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:31,598 But in the dream, I was so filled with rage, 172 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,238 I robbed the bankers. 173 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:36,181 You didn't set them on fire, did you? 174 00:07:36,183 --> 00:07:38,208 Wait. You had the same dream? 175 00:07:38,210 --> 00:07:40,078 - Freaaaky. - Yes! 176 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,608 A dream. Never happened. Pure fiction. Not canon. Ignore it. 177 00:07:42,610 --> 00:07:45,378 It's like meeting you triggered some... 178 00:07:45,380 --> 00:07:47,918 Well, darn it, it felt like a past life! 179 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:49,749 Funny, huh? [YELLS] 180 00:07:49,751 --> 00:07:51,021 - What are you doing? - Jesus Christ, 181 00:07:51,023 --> 00:07:52,288 I'm getting us the fuck out of here. 182 00:07:52,290 --> 00:07:54,318 Please don't use the Lord's name in vain. 183 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:55,468 How much do you weigh? 184 00:07:55,470 --> 00:07:57,044 I did a Paleo November, 185 00:07:57,046 --> 00:07:59,188 and now I'm fitting into my skinny cords. 186 00:07:59,190 --> 00:08:02,300 - So, I'm guessing around 170... - Uh! Never mind. 187 00:08:03,330 --> 00:08:04,998 - [YELLS] - [GRUNTING] 188 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,300 This! Night! Sucks! 189 00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:12,808 [GRUNTS] 190 00:08:12,810 --> 00:08:16,278 Um, I think you just straight up killed that guy back there. 191 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:18,848 - Do you wanna talk about it, or... - No. 192 00:08:18,850 --> 00:08:20,884 Are you sure? My girlfriend says I'm a good listener. 193 00:08:20,886 --> 00:08:21,908 Sometimes too good. 194 00:08:21,910 --> 00:08:23,410 On what occasion would that be? 195 00:08:23,412 --> 00:08:25,818 Because you have not shut the fuck up all night! 196 00:08:25,820 --> 00:08:28,058 It just seems to me like you have something going on. 197 00:08:28,060 --> 00:08:30,228 Trust me, you're not someone I can talk to about this. 198 00:08:30,230 --> 00:08:33,758 Why not? A bartender is basically like a therapist. 199 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:35,998 - So, come on! - [GASPS] 200 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,598 - I told my best friend I love her! - There it is. 201 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,698 But she doesn't trust me enough to love me back. 202 00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:42,339 You can't love without trust. 203 00:08:42,341 --> 00:08:44,293 [EXHALE] I thought I was fine bein' alone 204 00:08:44,295 --> 00:08:46,208 after my relationship with Jok... 205 00:08:46,210 --> 00:08:49,008 esph... fina... stein. 206 00:08:49,010 --> 00:08:51,948 Joksephfinastein? Sounds Flemish. 207 00:08:51,950 --> 00:08:55,388 No one knew his backstory. Anyway, he was a total abusive dick, 208 00:08:55,390 --> 00:08:56,893 hell-bent on utter destruction 209 00:08:56,895 --> 00:08:58,457 and the world's better off without him! 210 00:08:58,459 --> 00:09:01,758 You go, girl! Having a good vent in a literal vent. Come on! 211 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,030 Keep on going! 212 00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:12,800 [YAWNS] 213 00:09:13,670 --> 00:09:15,068 [LOUD THUD] 214 00:09:15,070 --> 00:09:17,068 This sucks. I'm not even doing anything. 215 00:09:17,070 --> 00:09:19,408 That's not true. You get to hit the button. 216 00:09:19,410 --> 00:09:21,778 But I wanna fly the plane. 217 00:09:21,780 --> 00:09:24,078 Be a part of the action! At least let me shoot a sweet missile. 218 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:27,918 Okay. It takes years of training to expertly control the Batplane. 219 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:31,018 - But, Batman, I wanna! - Alfred, this is ridiculous. 220 00:09:31,020 --> 00:09:32,818 Why don't you let me go out there already? 221 00:09:32,820 --> 00:09:35,088 Your city needs you healed, Master Bruce. 222 00:09:35,090 --> 00:09:38,428 I won't allow you to return to action prematurely, again. 223 00:09:38,430 --> 00:09:40,798 Besides, it's only Parademons. 224 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,268 [SPITS] It's too hot. 225 00:09:42,270 --> 00:09:45,098 - You could wait, Master Wayne. - Yes, Alfred... 226 00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:46,100 I could. 227 00:09:49,070 --> 00:09:50,120 [BLOWS] 228 00:09:57,380 --> 00:09:59,418 Huh? 229 00:09:59,420 --> 00:10:02,148 Batman! Are you seeing this? Gunfire at Wayne Tower. 230 00:10:02,150 --> 00:10:04,218 Come on, big guy! Give papa some action. 231 00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:07,088 [EXHALE] Fine. Don't scratch the paint. 232 00:10:07,090 --> 00:10:08,390 Booya! 233 00:10:11,390 --> 00:10:13,958 I just feel so alone without Ivy! 234 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,298 I mean, sure, there are some things I could've done differently. Okay! 235 00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:18,268 At the end of the day, she broke up with me 'cause I'm too impulsive 236 00:10:18,270 --> 00:10:20,338 and I go around 'causing messes and never clean 'em up. 237 00:10:20,340 --> 00:10:23,116 Aw! Doesn't it feel good just to say it out loud? 238 00:10:23,118 --> 00:10:25,968 - Harley? Well, well, well... - No! Riddler? 239 00:10:25,970 --> 00:10:28,438 ... if it isn't the simple clown herself. 240 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:30,308 - How did you... - Get here? 241 00:10:30,310 --> 00:10:32,548 [CHUCKLES] Well, I escaped the mall. 242 00:10:32,550 --> 00:10:36,788 Then, I orchestrated a hostage situation upstairs as a distraction, 243 00:10:36,790 --> 00:10:40,558 so I could sneak in here to grab this baby. 244 00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:43,585 - Classic misdirect. - Yeah, yeah, great. But, I was gonna say, 245 00:10:43,587 --> 00:10:45,098 - how did ya get so buff? - Hmm? 246 00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:46,702 Oh. Spending every waking moment 247 00:10:46,704 --> 00:10:48,498 running on that hamster wheel gets you shredded. 248 00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:51,328 I mean, check out these quads... wait, wait, wait. 249 00:10:51,330 --> 00:10:52,828 Is that Joker? 250 00:10:52,830 --> 00:10:55,408 Oh, my, you think I look like the Joker? 251 00:10:55,410 --> 00:10:59,068 [JOKER LAUGH] 252 00:10:59,070 --> 00:11:00,997 Nope, no! He's just a bartender 253 00:11:00,999 --> 00:11:02,602 who gives great, non-judgmental advice. 254 00:11:02,604 --> 00:11:05,644 Well, either way, you're both gonna die. 255 00:11:07,450 --> 00:11:09,719 Sure, I moved back to Gotham to see 'em, 256 00:11:09,721 --> 00:11:11,252 but what if my kids don't want to see me? 257 00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:12,918 Don't say that, Carl. 258 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:14,710 Yeah, but it's been seven long years. 259 00:11:14,712 --> 00:11:16,328 I left 'em when they needed me most. 260 00:11:16,330 --> 00:11:18,528 You can't keep blaming yourself for the past. 261 00:11:18,530 --> 00:11:20,058 You need to forget. 262 00:11:20,060 --> 00:11:21,898 Maybe they're better off without me. 263 00:11:21,900 --> 00:11:22,900 [HARLEY GASPS] 264 00:11:25,030 --> 00:11:26,898 [GUNSHOTS] 265 00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:28,700 [EXCLAIMING] 266 00:11:36,210 --> 00:11:38,618 [GASPS] 267 00:11:38,620 --> 00:11:40,780 Tuck in any fingers you wanna keep! 268 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:47,058 - Oh. What'd that do? - I don't know. 269 00:11:47,060 --> 00:11:50,028 Oh, no. Carl, I'm so sorry... 270 00:11:50,030 --> 00:11:52,028 It's a cancer ray. 271 00:11:52,030 --> 00:11:54,198 Harley Quinn, you gave me cancer? 272 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:56,099 Why would they even make this? 273 00:11:56,101 --> 00:11:57,613 Well, that's it, Kev. I'm gonna go 274 00:11:57,615 --> 00:11:59,238 spend the holidays with my kids. 275 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,540 I'm so sorry! 276 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:03,970 - [ZAPPING] - [SHOUTS] 277 00:12:05,510 --> 00:12:07,510 No, no, please. Please, please... Ow! 278 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:10,080 [STRUGGLES] 279 00:12:11,110 --> 00:12:12,210 [YELLS] 280 00:12:13,620 --> 00:12:15,288 - [JOKER LAUGHTER] - No. 281 00:12:15,290 --> 00:12:17,418 No, no, no. No, no, no, no! 282 00:12:17,420 --> 00:12:20,158 Ow! [ZAPS OUT] 283 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:21,888 My blood sugar must be crashing. 284 00:12:21,890 --> 00:12:24,528 Is there a vending machine around here? [GASPS] 285 00:12:24,530 --> 00:12:26,358 Did you kill another person? 286 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:28,258 Let's just chopper out of here. 287 00:12:28,260 --> 00:12:30,528 All that gratuitous violence. Yuck. 288 00:12:30,530 --> 00:12:32,498 This is why I don't like TV today. 289 00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:34,468 Violence ups the dramatic effect. 290 00:12:34,470 --> 00:12:36,638 I got enough drama in my life. 291 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:38,574 Just once, I'd like to watch something 292 00:12:38,576 --> 00:12:39,607 where two people fall in love, 293 00:12:39,609 --> 00:12:41,838 and experience no complications whatsoever. 294 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:43,840 Oh, and they don't have sex till they're married. 295 00:12:47,620 --> 00:12:50,120 Oh, my gosh, Batman? 296 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,260 Harley Quinn! And... 297 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:55,688 It's the Joker. 298 00:12:55,690 --> 00:12:59,088 - [IMPACT AND STRUGGLING SOUNDS] - I did it! 299 00:12:59,090 --> 00:13:02,058 I took down Batman's archenemy! On my own. 300 00:13:02,060 --> 00:13:04,668 Papa for the win! [LAUGHS] 301 00:13:04,670 --> 00:13:07,268 Gordo? [MANIC LAUGHTER] 302 00:13:07,270 --> 00:13:09,010 [IN LOW VOICE] Good to see ya, buddy! 303 00:13:12,010 --> 00:13:13,978 What's happening? Don't leave me in here! 304 00:13:13,980 --> 00:13:15,979 - Please, I don't like small spaces! - [BATPLANE LOCKS] 305 00:13:15,981 --> 00:13:17,493 I knew it was only a matter of time until 306 00:13:17,495 --> 00:13:19,618 you two psychos started knocking boots again. 307 00:13:19,620 --> 00:13:22,018 What? No. Uh! See, he's... 308 00:13:22,020 --> 00:13:23,448 Never mind, I'll explain later. 309 00:13:23,450 --> 00:13:26,158 Harley! We came as soon as we got your text. 310 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:29,058 Indeed! I paused the Tonys and I'm DVRing it, 311 00:13:29,060 --> 00:13:31,528 so no one tell me who won Best Lighting in a Musical. 312 00:13:31,530 --> 00:13:33,958 It was Howell Binkley, wasn't it? 313 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:38,268 When's Japhy Weideman going to get his day in the fucking sun! 314 00:13:38,270 --> 00:13:40,840 - I didn't text anyone. - Then who did? 315 00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:44,568 - Swole! - [ALL EXCLAIMING] 316 00:13:44,570 --> 00:13:46,378 Did ya just run up 18 flights? 317 00:13:46,380 --> 00:13:49,108 Uh, try 19 and a half. [CHUCKLES] 318 00:13:49,110 --> 00:13:51,618 How did you escape Psycho's fortified jail? 319 00:13:51,620 --> 00:13:53,520 And get so hot without us knowing? 320 00:13:57,350 --> 00:13:59,288 Here ya go, pal. 321 00:13:59,290 --> 00:14:01,658 You know what, I lied. I did have your phone number. 322 00:14:01,660 --> 00:14:04,358 I actually had everyone's phone number! 323 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:07,128 And I was the one who texted you all! 324 00:14:07,130 --> 00:14:08,668 - [ALL GASP] - How dare you? 325 00:14:08,670 --> 00:14:10,628 Yep! And get this... 326 00:14:10,630 --> 00:14:13,138 we actually like each other. A lot. 327 00:14:13,140 --> 00:14:15,068 You were working for Riddler all along. 328 00:14:15,070 --> 00:14:17,568 - Um, actually... - He's with me. 329 00:14:17,570 --> 00:14:19,608 You're dating Riddler? 330 00:14:19,610 --> 00:14:22,508 Quel scandale! 331 00:14:22,510 --> 00:14:25,078 - [IN SHOCK] - Okay, we're not fucking! 332 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:26,448 - We're together! - I see. 333 00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:28,278 Not using labels yet, are we? 334 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:31,188 Too new, is it? Lot of changes, Psycho. 335 00:14:31,190 --> 00:14:33,458 Dating, hooking up, "baring ass". 336 00:14:33,460 --> 00:14:34,908 Call it what you will, 337 00:14:34,910 --> 00:14:38,288 I'm proud of you for finally being who you are. 338 00:14:38,290 --> 00:14:40,530 We're in a business partnership 339 00:14:40,532 --> 00:14:43,268 based on mutual respect, idiot. 340 00:14:43,270 --> 00:14:45,638 And you know what, he doesn't belittle me like you did, Quinn. 341 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:47,098 How did I belittle you? 342 00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:49,108 You never recognized my talent! 343 00:14:49,110 --> 00:14:51,208 You never let me shine! 344 00:14:51,210 --> 00:14:53,178 And also, you hated working for a woman. 345 00:14:53,180 --> 00:14:55,608 Okay, also I hated working for a woman! But who cares? 346 00:14:55,610 --> 00:14:58,378 So, you and Ninja Turtle Calves are gonna fight us? Oh, please. 347 00:14:58,380 --> 00:15:01,248 You're a tiny man in a silly tinfoil hat. 348 00:15:01,250 --> 00:15:03,250 All right, here we go! 349 00:15:04,390 --> 00:15:07,020 [PSYCHO SCREAMING] 350 00:15:07,790 --> 00:15:09,488 [PARADEMONS SCREECH] 351 00:15:09,490 --> 00:15:12,158 Maybe your gal-pal Ivy can help! 352 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:14,828 You wanna call her, maybe? 353 00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:18,098 No, I don't wanna get her wrapped up in this 'cause this... 354 00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:20,598 This is a very strong example 355 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:23,110 of one of those messes I make I was tellin' you about. 356 00:15:24,510 --> 00:15:27,138 This "tinfoil hat" 357 00:15:27,140 --> 00:15:29,108 amplifies brainwaves, 358 00:15:29,110 --> 00:15:31,708 supercharging my mind powers. 359 00:15:31,710 --> 00:15:33,537 And with this bad boy, 360 00:15:33,539 --> 00:15:35,718 plus my new hobby of guided meditation, 361 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:39,388 I can control every Parademon in the city. 362 00:15:39,390 --> 00:15:43,188 Oh, I see. He's doin' my old plan of takin' over Gotham 363 00:15:43,190 --> 00:15:44,758 to team up with Darkseid and rule the Earth. 364 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:47,258 Then I'm gonna take over Gotham 365 00:15:47,260 --> 00:15:49,598 - and team up with Dark... - [GORDON] She just said that. 366 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,298 Shit! Fuck. 367 00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:53,538 The point is, I'm gonna do what you never could, 368 00:15:53,540 --> 00:15:55,338 because you are a pussy. 369 00:15:55,340 --> 00:15:58,168 Pussies are powerful. They birthed all of humanity! 370 00:15:58,170 --> 00:15:59,280 I was a C-Section. 371 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:04,478 Bring it on! I'm hungry for Parademons! 372 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,180 Stage combat! 373 00:16:07,650 --> 00:16:09,788 Get me outta here! Not... 374 00:16:09,790 --> 00:16:11,648 - [BEEPING] - This one! This one... 375 00:16:11,650 --> 00:16:16,450 - [ELECTRICAL BUZZING] - [SCREAMS] 376 00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:24,628 Wow. It's like straight steel. 377 00:16:24,630 --> 00:16:27,268 What's black, blue, and red all over? 378 00:16:27,270 --> 00:16:29,168 Your ass when I beat it! 379 00:16:29,170 --> 00:16:31,538 I guess when the abs get harder, the riddles get dumber. 380 00:16:31,540 --> 00:16:32,890 Bring it, bitch. 381 00:16:42,420 --> 00:16:44,488 - [PARADEMON SCREECHES] - I've got this, boys. 382 00:16:44,490 --> 00:16:46,358 [GUNSHOTS FIRED] 383 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:48,390 - [SCREECHES] - And it's all you. 384 00:16:51,290 --> 00:16:54,258 Give up, Psycho, and maybe I'll let you live 385 00:16:54,260 --> 00:16:57,268 as one of those orphans that builds Wayneboxes. 386 00:16:57,270 --> 00:16:59,240 Uh... I'm gonna pass! 387 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:03,290 [MANIACAL LAUGHTER] 388 00:17:10,210 --> 00:17:12,608 You thought this would be a fair fight? 389 00:17:12,610 --> 00:17:15,310 You're going down! 390 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:21,318 Why didn't it work on the old timer? 391 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:23,528 Same reason I can't go to the airport: 392 00:17:23,530 --> 00:17:25,288 metal plates, baby! 393 00:17:25,290 --> 00:17:27,958 God, you're old. Whatever. I'll kill you too. 394 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,230 [BOTH GROWL] 395 00:17:33,540 --> 00:17:35,968 Why don't you just brainwash me and end this? 396 00:17:35,970 --> 00:17:39,308 Oh, but where's the pizazz in that? 397 00:17:39,310 --> 00:17:43,548 It's way more fun to torture you with everything you love. 398 00:17:43,550 --> 00:17:47,280 This right here is exactly why you're a terrible supervillain. 399 00:17:48,250 --> 00:17:49,750 - [GROWLS] - [HARLEY GRUNTS] 400 00:17:51,250 --> 00:17:52,290 [GUNSHOTS] 401 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:57,388 [GROWLING] 402 00:17:57,390 --> 00:18:00,928 You know what, for too long I've been looked at as a joke, 403 00:18:00,930 --> 00:18:02,557 but when I'm through, 404 00:18:02,559 --> 00:18:06,368 people are gonna respect the name Dr. Psycho! 405 00:18:06,370 --> 00:18:09,538 With Batman and the Justice League gone, 406 00:18:09,540 --> 00:18:12,608 Gotham was yours for the taking, Harley. 407 00:18:12,610 --> 00:18:14,610 But you couldn't do it. 408 00:18:17,650 --> 00:18:19,150 [GROWLING] 409 00:18:22,261 --> 00:18:24,390 You know, I should thank you, Harley. 410 00:18:24,392 --> 00:18:26,546 If you never made me feel so small, 411 00:18:26,548 --> 00:18:29,262 I never would've known how big I could be. 412 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:32,610 [BOTH GROWLING] 413 00:18:37,870 --> 00:18:39,868 [YELLS] 414 00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:42,638 Quinn, God I hate you, 415 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:44,309 but I need your help. 416 00:18:44,311 --> 00:18:46,838 If we can break through the dome we can escape in the Batplane. 417 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,878 Can't you just use a bat-missile? 418 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,978 Yeah. We could, but sometimes I just don't feel like it. 419 00:18:51,980 --> 00:18:53,618 Or I don't wanna. 420 00:18:53,620 --> 00:18:55,578 All right, I'm not allowed to use them. 421 00:18:55,580 --> 00:18:57,788 - I'll do it. I'll break through the dome. - What? 422 00:18:57,790 --> 00:18:59,548 Sy, that's suicide! 423 00:18:59,550 --> 00:19:00,658 [GASPS] 424 00:19:00,660 --> 00:19:03,528 Harley, dear, I'll admit, 425 00:19:03,530 --> 00:19:05,522 when you left the mall earlier tonight, 426 00:19:05,524 --> 00:19:07,858 I did not expect to be in this position. 427 00:19:07,860 --> 00:19:10,828 - But it's a gift! - Sy, you're... 428 00:19:10,830 --> 00:19:12,538 You're standing. 429 00:19:12,540 --> 00:19:14,868 This is me feeding my soul, baby. 430 00:19:14,870 --> 00:19:17,868 Nothing would make me fuller than saving your tuchis 431 00:19:17,870 --> 00:19:22,078 and helping you take down that angry little shvants in a tux. 432 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:23,349 I never liked that one. 433 00:19:23,351 --> 00:19:25,978 [ON PA SYSTEM] He's gonna kill all of us if you don't stop talking. 434 00:19:25,980 --> 00:19:27,818 [CRYING] Oh. 435 00:19:27,820 --> 00:19:30,348 You were the best landlord I've ever had. 436 00:19:30,350 --> 00:19:32,588 You always fixed our oven so fast, 437 00:19:32,590 --> 00:19:34,688 and you never judged me no matter how many times 438 00:19:34,690 --> 00:19:36,888 I flushed my tampons down the toilet. 439 00:19:36,890 --> 00:19:39,958 [GRUNTS] 440 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:43,700 As long as you've got this, you've always got a friend. 441 00:19:46,900 --> 00:19:47,950 [GASPS] 442 00:19:51,980 --> 00:19:53,778 Hey, Psycho! 443 00:19:53,780 --> 00:19:57,848 Thousands of years ago, my people, the Maccabees, 444 00:19:57,850 --> 00:20:01,348 prayed for oil to last when they needed it most. 445 00:20:01,350 --> 00:20:06,458 Unlucky for you, that very same oil runs through my veins 446 00:20:06,460 --> 00:20:08,488 today! 447 00:20:08,490 --> 00:20:10,930 [LOUD GRUNT] 448 00:20:11,860 --> 00:20:14,358 Yes! I mean darn. 449 00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:17,098 Ah, those Parademons took out the communications system. 450 00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:19,438 No more autopilot! Buckle up, Quinn. 451 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,750 Papa's about to earn himself some wings. 452 00:20:29,710 --> 00:20:34,018 I regret lots of things! 453 00:20:34,020 --> 00:20:35,720 [EXPLODES] 454 00:20:38,450 --> 00:20:41,450 [SHIELD POWERS DOWN] 455 00:20:43,930 --> 00:20:45,290 Fuck! 456 00:20:47,730 --> 00:20:50,828 [GORDON] Okay, that was the plane's fault. 457 00:20:50,830 --> 00:20:52,838 We need to take Psycho down, now. 458 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:55,018 Who knows how much damage he can do with that helmet? 459 00:20:55,020 --> 00:20:58,067 Yeah, but how? It'd take, like, the entire Justice League to stop him. 460 00:20:58,069 --> 00:20:59,878 I had a dream about them, too. 461 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:03,448 This is gonna sound crazy but they were stuck in a book. 462 00:21:03,450 --> 00:21:06,748 - What did ya just say? - Yeah. It was this Book of Fables? 463 00:21:06,750 --> 00:21:08,787 Yeah! Queen of Fables. How did you know that? 464 00:21:08,789 --> 00:21:11,488 Was in one of my dreams. I held a book 465 00:21:11,490 --> 00:21:13,958 with the entire Justice League in it. 466 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,928 But, you know, then I woke up and I don't remember the rest. 467 00:21:16,930 --> 00:21:18,658 [CHUCKLES] Weird! 468 00:21:18,660 --> 00:21:20,600 Gordon, I need you to drop us off somewhere. 469 00:21:22,970 --> 00:21:25,198 There's a lot of powerful memories here. 470 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,068 Is this your hideout? 471 00:21:27,070 --> 00:21:29,808 It's not very cozy. Let me call Beth. 472 00:21:29,810 --> 00:21:32,708 She has family in Central City. We could stay there 473 00:21:32,710 --> 00:21:34,678 till this whole mess blows over. 474 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,878 Just me, Beth, the kids, and my new pal Harley Quinn. 475 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,678 Nah, no, no, Ivy was right. I keep makin' messes. 476 00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:42,138 I brought in the Parademons. 477 00:21:42,140 --> 00:21:44,188 I took in Psycho. I caused all of this. 478 00:21:44,190 --> 00:21:46,388 I can't keep runnin' from my messes. 479 00:21:46,390 --> 00:21:48,118 And the way I see it, cleanup starts with 480 00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:50,628 gettin' the Justice League out of that storybook. 481 00:21:50,630 --> 00:21:52,558 The storybook is real? Where is it? 482 00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,528 I don't know, but I think you do. 483 00:21:54,530 --> 00:21:56,628 Are you sure you can't just remember? 484 00:21:56,630 --> 00:21:59,568 It's like I see the book, but... [GRUNTS] 485 00:21:59,570 --> 00:22:01,099 everything else is cloudy. 486 00:22:01,101 --> 00:22:05,007 That's disappointing because I really, really, really, 487 00:22:05,009 --> 00:22:06,738 don't wanna have to do this. 488 00:22:06,740 --> 00:22:08,808 - Do what? - [SIGHS] 489 00:22:08,810 --> 00:22:11,948 I'll be seein' ya soon, Mistah J. 490 00:22:11,950 --> 00:22:16,000 - [SHOVING GRUNT] - [SCREAMS] 491 00:22:23,660 --> 00:22:25,160 [CLOSING THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 492 00:22:25,162 --> 00:22:28,162 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 37453

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