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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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Mr. President, Jim Gordon,
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aka Gotham PD Commissioner,
aka the Commish,
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but you can call me Gordo.
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Sir, Gotham City is finally ready to...
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- [SECRETARY] Please hold for the President.
- Ah!
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Sorry, I thought you were the President.
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- No, I'm his secretary.
- Well, yes.
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Now that you say it,
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it makes sense that the President
wouldn't answer his own phone.
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Just that I don't often
hear of a male secretary.
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- This is the President.
- Sir, I, on my own,
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00:01:01,140 --> 00:01:02,487
with no help from others,
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definitely singlehandedly
took out the Injustice League.
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Gotham City is ready to
rejoin the United States.
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Gordo... Can I call you that?
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I'd prefer that.
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Gordo, according to my intel,
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there's still one supervillain
who is running amok.
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Harley Quinn.
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Uh... she's nothing but
a polyp up my bunghole.
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Irritating? Sure.
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Uncomfortable? Absolutely.
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Horrifying to sexual partners
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and oftentimes a deal
breaker? Definitely.
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But nothing that a doctor-prescribed
cream can't take care of.
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- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
- That is...
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a lot of specific knowledge
about anal polyps.
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You're talking to an expert.
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Look, Gordo, Harley Quinn
caused the downfall of Gotham.
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She's a menace.
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She strikes fear into the
heart of the public psyche.
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If she's still out there,
Gotham isn't safe.
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Take care of Harley Quinn and
I'll put Gotham back on the map.
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I'm coming for you, Quinn.
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[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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Harls, if we're going to talk
about it, let's just talk about it.
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I mean, pssh, if you want
to, I guess I could. Yeah.
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That was... crazy, right?
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[CHUCKLES] So, crazy.
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I've been thinking a
lot, and I think it was...
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An impetuous, spur of the moment thing.
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- You know?
- Yes.
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It was the adrenaline
of escaping, you know.
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I just think it went to our heads.
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- Hundred percent.
- We weren't really thinking.
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- You know?
- It's so weird and uncanny
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how you just said everything
I was going to say.
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I think we just chalk
it up to a crazy moment
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where something crazy happened.
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You know what I mean? I mean, that's it.
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Totally. Totally! It was so me!
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It was Harley Quinn,
always doing crazy things!
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Always being impetuous! Hey!
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Always kissing people!
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- Muah!
- Ugh!
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Disgusting! You're not my type.
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Harley, are you sure you're cool, or...
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Yes. I swear to you. I'm
cool. I'm just... We are cool.
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Ugh, great! I'm just glad
we're on the same page.
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I mean, I'm getting
married to Kite Man soon.
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- You know, so I gotta focus on that.
- Obvs!
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Yeah, I'm super busy, too.
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I'm like planning my next
move. So many moves. All...
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Almost too many moves.
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Wow, look at that. I'm actually
late to a move planning meeting.
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Oh, this is so good.
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Harley, I'm just glad
we talked about this.
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And I would never want anything to
mess up our friendship, you know?
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Yes, totally. Yeah, especially
not over some kiss
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that, you know, didn't
even mean anything.
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[CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY] So,
are you gonna tell Kite Man?
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[KITE MAN] How could you do this to me?
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Babe, I'm so sorry.
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Look, I meant to call for a
reservation and stuff came up.
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I said I'm sorry.
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Sorry doesn't get us a table
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at Señor Mexico's authentic
Mexican adobe house,
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which is my parents' favorite
brunch spot in all of Gotham.
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[OBJECT CLATTERS]
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- Babe, you all right?
- Yes. I'm... I'm just... It's...
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I've got a lot on my mind right now.
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Hey. I'm sorry for putting
so much pressure on you.
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It's just the first time
they're meeting you,
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and I want them to love
you as much as I do,
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because, no pressure,
if they don't love you
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they won't approve of the wedding,
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and then they won't come to the wedding!
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Honey, I will make
sure that they love me.
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Because parents always love me.
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I mean, not my parents
or any other parents.
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But the point is for your parents? Ah!
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I'm gonna just blow them away.
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God, I love you.
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Okay. So, as we all
know, I'm super busy,
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I'm a crazy busy,
busiest I've ever been.
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The question is, what
am I super busy with?
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What's next?
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I thought we were gonna
chill out and have fun
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after we took the Injustice League out?
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Oh, yeah. We're gonna have fun.
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As I become the world's
most feared supervillain!
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That's not you.
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The gravitas just isn't there.
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The gravitas is there!
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Harley, first I want to
apologize for these pussies!
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I, for one, welcome you
pushing the evil envelope.
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This is what I've dreamed of.
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If you want to do some truly evil shit,
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then I'm your guy!
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What are your thoughts
on killing puppies?
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- [BOTH GASP]
- [BIKE REVS]
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Harley, I've come to
warn you about my...
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- Wait, who are you?
- Um... Batgirl. Anyway...
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All right. You know what?
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As a community, we
should really get together
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and start coming up
with more creative names.
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This is bullshit.
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Can I just say, I love the
stitch work on your costume, girl.
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[LAUGHS] I see you.
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Aw, geez, thanks.
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Why the hell are you here?
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Gordon's coming to take you down.
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You are what stands in the way of
Gotham rejoining the United States.
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And I've come here to warn you
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because he thinks you're a villain,
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00:05:03,790 --> 00:05:05,018
but I know that you're not.
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00:05:05,020 --> 00:05:06,888
What? I'm bad as hell.
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00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:08,158
Total villain over here!
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Fuck, yeah!
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That's the Harley I've been waiting for.
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Own it, girl!
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You did kick the Legion
of Doom out of Gotham,
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killed Joker, got rid
of the Injustice League.
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Those were all heroic things.
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This is what we were just saying.
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See? Batgirl gets it.
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You want me to melt her mind?
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I will melt her mind.
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00:05:26,623 --> 00:05:29,538
All I'm saying is lay low, and
hopefully this'll all blow over.
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No time to lay low!
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I was just telling Ivy how
I am a very busy person,
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and that's what I am.
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So I am going to lay
very high, thank you.
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Harley, he won't stop until he gets you.
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You heard about what he did to Two-Face,
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and Two-Face had a whole mess of goons.
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So, what you're saying
is I need an army.
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00:05:44,190 --> 00:05:47,098
No, that's 100% not what I was say...
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- You tell Commissioner Gor-dumb...
- Nice!
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... that I am the baddest bitch in town.
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I'm Harley Quinn! I'm impetuous!
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I kiss people at random!
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- Muah!
- What's happening?
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I am a supervillain,
and Gordon better sack up
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and prepare for an all-out
war with me and my army.
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00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:04,848
- Thanks for the heads up.
- No, again,
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00:06:04,850 --> 00:06:07,918
- that was 100% not what I was saying...
- [DOOR SLAMS]
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All right, listen. New plan.
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We are gonna defeat Gordon.
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We just need an evil army.
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Anyone know how we can get an evil army?
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I am rock hard right now!
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That's nasty.
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00:06:17,690 --> 00:06:19,798
Harley, what has gotten into you?
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Ever since you and Ivy
emerged from Bane's pit,
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you seem unlike yourself.
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00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:26,838
Yeah, you never said anything
about being a warlord.
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Plus, where are we going to get an army?
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Especially since the
goons have unionized.
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Nothing happened in the pit,
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and I am absolutely
being totally like myself.
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And no one is getting in my way.
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Not even Gordon.
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You know what? I think I
know where we can get an army.
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But it's some real deal villain shit.
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You got to get your hands
dirty. Are you down to do that?
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Bitch, please. I am super down.
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This is exactly what I want to do.
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I'm Harley Quinn. I'm impetuous!
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I kiss people for no reason.
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- Muah!
- [KING SHARK GIGGLES]
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00:06:53,463 --> 00:06:56,598
Yeah, you've made that whole
kissing thing really clear, Harley.
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Hey, sup. Uh, I don't
really care either way,
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00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,638
but what're the chances
you have a four top?
186
00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:03,468
Four top is restaurant speak for...
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00:07:03,470 --> 00:07:05,778
A table, for four people. Thanks.
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00:07:05,780 --> 00:07:07,078
My little foodie.
189
00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:08,638
Yeah, it's a three-hour wait. Sorry.
190
00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:10,108
[GROANS] Oh, boy!
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00:07:10,110 --> 00:07:12,308
Um, babe, those people over there
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00:07:12,310 --> 00:07:15,250
that look like a country club
fucked a yacht club are waving at us.
193
00:07:15,252 --> 00:07:17,048
Charles dear, over here!
194
00:07:17,050 --> 00:07:20,288
Mother, Father, please meet
the love of my life, Pamela.
195
00:07:20,290 --> 00:07:21,874
You didn't make a reservation.
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00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:24,688
- Mother, I am so sorry.
- Oh, God.
197
00:07:24,690 --> 00:07:26,400
I had to have the credit card company
198
00:07:26,402 --> 00:07:28,698
concierge read management the riot act
199
00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:31,228
and we still got stuck
here with the hoi polloi.
200
00:07:31,230 --> 00:07:33,698
Our usual booth was taken.
201
00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:35,868
Oh. You know what? Let
me talk to the manager.
202
00:07:35,870 --> 00:07:38,138
Good luck to her, I say.
203
00:07:38,140 --> 00:07:40,708
[COUPLE YELL]
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00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,948
Well, look at that. A
booth just opened up.
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00:07:42,950 --> 00:07:46,248
Pam, I must say, I like your style.
206
00:07:46,250 --> 00:07:47,481
Well, shall we?
207
00:07:47,483 --> 00:07:50,048
Señorita, can we get four mimosas
208
00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:53,318
and an order of your mashed
avocado? Gracias.
209
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:57,128
And if I don't escape my
shackles in five minutes,
210
00:07:57,130 --> 00:08:00,128
I will plunge to my death!
211
00:08:00,130 --> 00:08:02,098
Okay. Where's this
army you're promising?
212
00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:03,399
Well, as you all know,
213
00:08:03,401 --> 00:08:06,652
I have always had a huge
hard-on for world domination.
214
00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:08,585
- Well, that's on brand.
- Just disgusting.
215
00:08:08,587 --> 00:08:12,175
And there is truly only one
foolproof way I've found to get it.
216
00:08:12,177 --> 00:08:14,608
That idiot in the technicolor dreamcoat
217
00:08:14,610 --> 00:08:16,555
has a device called a "Mother Box"
218
00:08:16,557 --> 00:08:18,978
that can create a "Boom Tube".
219
00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:21,115
We take the Boom Tube to Apokolips,
220
00:08:21,117 --> 00:08:24,088
where Darkseid has a whole
shitload of amazing armies.
221
00:08:24,090 --> 00:08:25,718
We kiss Darkseid's ring,
222
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,388
pledge fealty, blah blah blah,
223
00:08:27,390 --> 00:08:30,028
he gives us an army of
flying monkey lizards,
224
00:08:30,030 --> 00:08:32,222
and we take out Gotham by supper.
225
00:08:32,224 --> 00:08:33,395
Eff, yes!
226
00:08:33,397 --> 00:08:34,998
I'm an eff maybe...
227
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,228
I find that plan to have many holes.
228
00:08:37,230 --> 00:08:40,067
How would one even
procure a Mother's Box?
229
00:08:40,069 --> 00:08:42,868
[LAUGHS] I am so glad you asked!
230
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:44,868
Get ready for a BAFTA,
231
00:08:44,870 --> 00:08:47,008
because you're gonna be playin' a drunk.
232
00:08:47,010 --> 00:08:49,748
A modern Falstaff! Perfect.
233
00:08:49,750 --> 00:08:51,078
Company!
234
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:56,118
Ah! Oh, villainous, burp, company
235
00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:59,918
hath been, burp, the spoil of my...
236
00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:02,218
Shut the fuck up! I'm the director.
237
00:09:02,220 --> 00:09:05,185
You stumble onstage
and distract security.
238
00:09:05,187 --> 00:09:07,058
You just lost your BAFTA.
239
00:09:07,060 --> 00:09:10,128
[GROANING]
240
00:09:10,130 --> 00:09:12,298
Then, while Miracle is chained up,
241
00:09:12,300 --> 00:09:13,868
I'm gonna go into his mind,
242
00:09:13,870 --> 00:09:15,508
figure out where he keeps
the Mother Box and...
243
00:09:15,510 --> 00:09:17,438
- Too late.
- Hey, you're not allowed onstage.
244
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:18,970
[AUDIENCE SCREAMING]
245
00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:21,678
It was just in his dressing room.
246
00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:23,778
So, hold on to your barf bags!
247
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:25,662
We're going to Apokolips.
248
00:09:25,664 --> 00:09:26,978
Ha!
249
00:09:26,980 --> 00:09:29,514
There goes my new year's
resolution to not bite my nails
250
00:09:29,516 --> 00:09:32,048
or jump into any
inter-dimensional portals.
251
00:09:32,050 --> 00:09:33,388
[DR. PSYCHO LAUGHS]
252
00:09:33,390 --> 00:09:34,660
Whee!
253
00:09:37,390 --> 00:09:39,928
[CHEERING LOUDLY]
254
00:09:39,930 --> 00:09:43,068
So... So, then I said,
"Did anyone call for kelp?"
255
00:09:43,070 --> 00:09:45,671
And then I wrapped Aquaman up in...
256
00:09:45,673 --> 00:09:46,938
Can you guess? Kelp.
257
00:09:46,940 --> 00:09:48,871
You are a hoot!
258
00:09:48,873 --> 00:09:50,265
Isn't she, Darryl?
259
00:09:50,267 --> 00:09:52,168
Charles is one lucky son of a gun.
260
00:09:52,170 --> 00:09:54,308
- Hell yeah, I am.
- Charles! Language!
261
00:09:54,310 --> 00:09:56,908
Well... But, it's kinda
like my catch phrase.
262
00:09:56,910 --> 00:09:58,708
Well, then find a new one!
263
00:09:58,710 --> 00:10:00,348
Yes, ma'am. If you'll excuse me,
264
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:03,218
I'm just gonna go wash my
hands before we chow down.
265
00:10:03,220 --> 00:10:04,239
[WHISPERS] I love you.
266
00:10:04,241 --> 00:10:07,088
Our son getting married was
a shock in and of itself,
267
00:10:07,090 --> 00:10:11,458
but to find out his fiancee
has actual super powers!
268
00:10:11,460 --> 00:10:14,295
[BOTH] Our grandkids are going
to have superpowers like us!
269
00:10:14,297 --> 00:10:16,098
Oh, you... So you guys have superpowers?
270
00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:18,428
Oh, sure. I can harness
the power of cold,
271
00:10:18,430 --> 00:10:20,438
and this one has the old gift of flight.
272
00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:23,768
So, you can imagine
how disappointed we were
273
00:10:23,770 --> 00:10:26,245
when poor Charles was born... powerless.
274
00:10:26,247 --> 00:10:28,858
- Well, he has his kite.
- Ugh!
275
00:10:28,860 --> 00:10:31,208
Pamela, we want the
best for our grandkids,
276
00:10:31,210 --> 00:10:33,218
and that is them having superpowers,
277
00:10:33,220 --> 00:10:34,721
not pretending to have them.
278
00:10:34,723 --> 00:10:37,164
And you're the answer to our prayers.
279
00:10:37,166 --> 00:10:40,166
Well... [SIGHS] Good.
280
00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:54,868
[GRUNTS AND LAUGHS]
281
00:10:54,870 --> 00:10:58,378
This is gonna be the last
mustache you ever see, Quinn.
282
00:10:58,380 --> 00:11:01,108
Wow, that is a lot of guns.
283
00:11:01,110 --> 00:11:03,248
Or, not enough guns.
284
00:11:03,250 --> 00:11:05,448
Dad, I don't think you
should go up against Harley.
285
00:11:05,450 --> 00:11:07,090
Oh, that old saw.
286
00:11:07,092 --> 00:11:10,004
[SARCASTICALLY] Because she's a girl,
and boys against girls is unfair.
287
00:11:10,006 --> 00:11:11,065
Um, no.
288
00:11:11,067 --> 00:11:13,488
Because rumor has it she's
going to have an army.
289
00:11:13,490 --> 00:11:15,158
Thousands of people might die.
290
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:16,229
You might die.
291
00:11:16,231 --> 00:11:17,858
Oh, my God. I'm sorry.
I see what you're saying.
292
00:11:17,860 --> 00:11:19,188
Ugh! Thank you!
293
00:11:19,190 --> 00:11:20,798
- I need an army!
- No!
294
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,528
That is 100% not what I was saying...
295
00:11:23,530 --> 00:11:25,741
Oh, frick!
296
00:11:25,743 --> 00:11:27,162
[GORDON] Citizens of Gotham!
297
00:11:27,164 --> 00:11:29,538
You're here today because
you answered the call.
298
00:11:29,540 --> 00:11:31,808
We have an opportunity
299
00:11:31,810 --> 00:11:33,978
to save our beloved Gotham City
300
00:11:33,980 --> 00:11:39,040
and get back our rightful
place in the United States.
301
00:11:40,020 --> 00:11:42,288
That means clean water, fresh food,
302
00:11:42,290 --> 00:11:44,418
and overpriced Internet providers!
303
00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:46,391
[ALL CHEERING]
304
00:11:46,393 --> 00:11:48,252
But in order to do that,
305
00:11:48,254 --> 00:11:52,535
we have to take down the
scourge that is Harley Quinn.
306
00:11:52,537 --> 00:11:54,898
- Yes, Harley Quinn.
- [MAN] All right!
307
00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:56,770
Wait, are you cheering for Harley,
308
00:11:56,772 --> 00:11:59,138
or cheering for taking down Harley?
309
00:11:59,140 --> 00:12:00,469
It's gotta be taking down, right?
310
00:12:00,471 --> 00:12:01,760
[CROWD CHEERING]
311
00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:03,531
[LAUGHS] Okay. Good.
312
00:12:03,533 --> 00:12:06,508
It was just the way I
worded it, it wasn't...
313
00:12:06,510 --> 00:12:08,281
Anyway. I...
314
00:12:08,283 --> 00:12:11,448
For too long we've allowed
villains to run our lives,
315
00:12:11,450 --> 00:12:13,418
and they destroyed our beautiful city.
316
00:12:13,420 --> 00:12:17,118
Well, I will not let that
stand, and neither will you!
317
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:21,280
- Who's with me?
- [CROWD CHEERING]
318
00:12:25,060 --> 00:12:27,158
There was a war, vermin.
319
00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:28,628
And I won.
320
00:12:28,630 --> 00:12:32,068
Your future belongs to Darkseid now.
321
00:12:32,070 --> 00:12:33,998
[ALL GRUNTING]
322
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,540
[SCREAMS]
323
00:12:35,542 --> 00:12:36,641
[ALL GASP]
324
00:12:36,643 --> 00:12:38,044
I'm giving your BAFTA to him.
325
00:12:38,046 --> 00:12:41,178
[DARKSEID] You seek
an army, Harley Quinn?
326
00:12:41,180 --> 00:12:44,178
- Um...
- Are you capable of wielding such power?
327
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:47,178
- Yeah, I...
- The power to take away a people's confusion
328
00:12:47,180 --> 00:12:49,518
and replace it with obedience?
329
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:51,588
- Yes, I...
- To liberate a people
330
00:12:51,590 --> 00:12:54,088
and give them one clear purpose.
331
00:12:54,090 --> 00:12:57,030
One goal, to die for your will.
332
00:13:00,460 --> 00:13:02,998
Oh, you're done. Okay yes,
totes to all that stuff.
333
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,371
Let me get that army!
334
00:13:05,373 --> 00:13:07,784
Mr. Great and Powerful Darkseid.
335
00:13:07,786 --> 00:13:10,068
I sense a great pain in you.
336
00:13:10,070 --> 00:13:11,298
Nope, no pain. I'm good.
337
00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:14,001
An anger, born from a want.
338
00:13:14,003 --> 00:13:15,908
A want that was not met.
339
00:13:15,910 --> 00:13:17,258
If we could just move on to the...
340
00:13:17,260 --> 00:13:20,448
Are you trying to fill an empty
hole in your life, Harley Quinn?
341
00:13:20,450 --> 00:13:22,068
What is this guy, my therapist?
342
00:13:22,070 --> 00:13:26,658
There are some holes that not even
an army of Parademons can fill.
343
00:13:26,660 --> 00:13:30,185
Definitely not. All my holes
are filled up to the brim.
344
00:13:30,187 --> 00:13:31,616
Nothing? Really?
345
00:13:31,618 --> 00:13:33,198
Look, I'm just here for that army.
346
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,001
So, you know, what's the haps on that?
347
00:13:35,003 --> 00:13:36,832
The dwarf did not tell you?
348
00:13:36,834 --> 00:13:40,438
Okay, I may have come up here at a
different time to ask for an army.
349
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:41,968
- I didn't mention that?
- No!
350
00:13:41,970 --> 00:13:44,038
And I am a very active listener.
351
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,308
[DARKSEID] You must
prove yourself to me.
352
00:13:46,310 --> 00:13:48,678
He was too cowardly to do so.
353
00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:50,448
The task is simple.
354
00:13:50,450 --> 00:13:52,918
Defeat Granny Goodness in combat,
355
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,448
and I will give her scepter to you,
356
00:13:55,450 --> 00:13:58,518
which you will use to
command the Parademons.
357
00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:02,018
So, I just gotta beat up an
old lady and I get an army?
358
00:14:02,020 --> 00:14:04,860
- I can do that.
- [LOUD THUDDING]
359
00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:09,870
Prepare to die!
360
00:14:11,330 --> 00:14:13,000
[FOOTSTEPS THUDDING]
361
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:16,438
And this is why I got cold feet.
362
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,440
You got this, Quinn.
363
00:14:25,110 --> 00:14:26,610
[GRUNTING]
364
00:14:31,220 --> 00:14:33,488
[BOTH YELLING]
365
00:14:33,490 --> 00:14:34,490
Ah!
366
00:14:46,740 --> 00:14:48,538
[GRUNTING]
367
00:14:48,540 --> 00:14:52,209
[GASPS] I promised myself
I'd never kill an old person.
368
00:14:52,211 --> 00:14:54,645
I'd let the American
healthcare system do that.
369
00:14:54,647 --> 00:14:56,578
But we need to get Harley's back.
370
00:14:56,580 --> 00:14:59,248
I fear Darkseid clearly
laid out the rules.
371
00:14:59,250 --> 00:15:02,578
If she doesn't do it herself,
she does not get the army.
372
00:15:02,580 --> 00:15:05,718
Don't worry, she's gonna do
it herself. [CRACKS KNUCKLES]
373
00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:07,558
You fools!
374
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,688
You thought some little
girl could defeat me?
375
00:15:10,690 --> 00:15:13,091
Now get ready for some cookies, milk,
376
00:15:13,093 --> 00:15:16,628
and a lifetime of torture
in Granny's dungeon.
377
00:15:16,630 --> 00:15:18,500
[LAUGHS EVILLY]
378
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,190
Prepare to die.
379
00:15:24,770 --> 00:15:26,378
[LAUGHING EVILLY]
380
00:15:26,380 --> 00:15:29,080
Yes, still got it!
381
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:35,718
[GROGGILY] Where am I? Did I do it?
382
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,989
Yes, Harley Quinn, you
defeated Granny Goodness.
383
00:15:38,991 --> 00:15:40,062
Yeah, you did.
384
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:43,328
Huzzah! Harley! You are a hero!
385
00:15:43,330 --> 00:15:45,528
It was so smart of her
to play possum like that.
386
00:15:45,530 --> 00:15:49,728
You think she unconsciously
flew through the air, idiots?
387
00:15:49,730 --> 00:15:54,730
Rise, Harley Quinn, commander
of my Parademon army.
388
00:16:06,050 --> 00:16:08,221
Aw! Thanks, D-Train.
389
00:16:08,223 --> 00:16:10,323
Uh, Lord, sir.
390
00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:26,068
All right! Y'all ready
to hand Gordon his ass
391
00:16:26,070 --> 00:16:29,568
and show him once and for all that
Harley Quinn is Gotham's true boss
392
00:16:29,570 --> 00:16:31,308
and the baddest villain of all?
393
00:16:31,310 --> 00:16:32,778
[ROARING]
394
00:16:32,780 --> 00:16:34,478
Yes. Yes!
395
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:35,838
Fuck, yes!
396
00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:38,548
I mean, I did this, but also fuck, yes!
397
00:16:38,550 --> 00:16:40,480
Boomtube us home, psycho!
398
00:16:42,790 --> 00:16:46,418
I have to be honest, I am very
scared about this whole thing.
399
00:16:46,420 --> 00:16:50,160
As am I. You can't tell,
but I've clayed myself.
400
00:16:52,130 --> 00:16:53,360
[LATIN MUSIC PLAYING]
401
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:58,301
Whoa. Babe, you wanna
get frisky right here?
402
00:16:58,303 --> 00:16:59,372
What about the 'rents?
403
00:16:59,374 --> 00:17:01,638
Why do you let your
parents treat you like shit?
404
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:04,138
What am I supposed to
do? They're my parents.
405
00:17:04,140 --> 00:17:06,878
Let's do this again
next week, Ivy, darling.
406
00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:09,208
Don't worry, I already
made a reservation,
407
00:17:09,210 --> 00:17:13,178
so Charles needn't cloud
his mind with simple tasks.
408
00:17:13,180 --> 00:17:14,421
- [BOTH LAUGH]
- You know what?
409
00:17:14,423 --> 00:17:16,318
- Fuck you guys.
- Beg your pardon?
410
00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:17,748
Yeah, I said, fuck you.
411
00:17:17,750 --> 00:17:19,259
Because first of all, I'm the one
412
00:17:19,261 --> 00:17:21,188
who messed up the
goddamn reservation, okay.
413
00:17:21,190 --> 00:17:23,088
Chuck asked me several
times not to forget,
414
00:17:23,090 --> 00:17:25,427
because for some reason
he cares about you two.
415
00:17:25,429 --> 00:17:27,898
And then, he took the heat for
it because he cares about me,
416
00:17:27,900 --> 00:17:31,298
and for some reason, what
you two think about me.
417
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:34,568
So, yeah! He's a kind,
loving, supportive partner.
418
00:17:34,570 --> 00:17:38,568
And the only miracle here is that
you two ghouls somehow raised him.
419
00:17:38,570 --> 00:17:40,808
And another thing, he's
not lucky to have me,
420
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:42,408
I'm lucky to have him!
421
00:17:42,410 --> 00:17:43,880
So, fuck off!
422
00:17:46,180 --> 00:17:48,278
Hell! Yeah!
423
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:51,218
- See you at the wedding?
- [POISON IVY CHUCKLES]
424
00:17:51,220 --> 00:17:53,858
Oh, wait. Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on. Is that a Boom Tube?
425
00:17:53,860 --> 00:17:56,758
Uh. Sorry, just got excited
and... [CHUCKLES SHEEPISHLY]
426
00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:58,131
No baby, not that.
427
00:17:58,133 --> 00:17:59,928
- That!
- Looks like it's over the Dead Mall.
428
00:17:59,930 --> 00:18:01,995
Hang on, wait, which
way... That's east...
429
00:18:01,997 --> 00:18:03,798
No, it is. Oh, my God!
430
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:04,850
Harley!
431
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:22,288
Dad, you don't have to do this.
432
00:18:22,290 --> 00:18:25,688
If saving Gotham means I have
to gun down another lady clown,
433
00:18:25,690 --> 00:18:26,858
then so be it.
434
00:18:26,860 --> 00:18:28,180
Wait. What do you mean another...
435
00:18:29,590 --> 00:18:31,588
[ALL YELLING]
436
00:18:31,590 --> 00:18:33,928
[ALL GRUNTING]
437
00:18:33,930 --> 00:18:39,398
Oh! Probably be best if you turn
around your merry band of meatbags.
438
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:40,968
And why the hell would I do that?
439
00:18:40,970 --> 00:18:42,818
[DR. PSYCHO LAUGHS]
440
00:18:42,820 --> 00:18:46,708
Gordo, I have a flying army from
a hell planet under my control.
441
00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:48,152
Well, I made my decision!
442
00:18:48,154 --> 00:18:50,448
And I never back down from my decisions.
443
00:18:50,450 --> 00:18:52,537
It's a terrible quality that has ruined
444
00:18:52,539 --> 00:18:54,318
most of my personal relationships,
445
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:55,378
so bring it!
446
00:18:55,380 --> 00:18:56,988
It's your funeral, old man.
447
00:18:56,990 --> 00:18:58,758
- Uh-uh, it's yours.
- Don't think so.
448
00:18:58,760 --> 00:18:59,930
Well, I do think so.
449
00:18:59,932 --> 00:19:02,558
Feels like you're
overcompensating for something.
450
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,658
Why is everybody up my ass about that?
451
00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:06,201
Nothing happened!
452
00:19:06,203 --> 00:19:07,728
This is just my Wednesday, bitch.
453
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:10,401
- Not buying it.
- I don't give a shit!
454
00:19:10,403 --> 00:19:12,164
[DR. PSYCHO] Fuck, yes!
455
00:19:12,166 --> 00:19:14,498
My God! Gaping sphincter in the sky.
456
00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:16,470
[DR. PSYCHO] I'm coming!
457
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:19,390
Tanks, now!
458
00:19:24,750 --> 00:19:25,750
[SCREECHES]
459
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:27,680
Uh-oh.
460
00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:44,870
[SCREECHES]
461
00:19:46,470 --> 00:19:47,470
Ah!
462
00:19:57,808 --> 00:19:59,479
[LAUGHING EVILLY]
463
00:19:59,481 --> 00:20:01,878
Harley! What the hell is going on here?
464
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,339
Yeah, while you were out gettin' brunch,
465
00:20:03,341 --> 00:20:04,456
I was beating up an old lady
466
00:20:04,458 --> 00:20:06,585
to get a Parademon
army from another galaxy.
467
00:20:06,587 --> 00:20:08,088
You beat up an old lady?
468
00:20:08,090 --> 00:20:09,928
She was super jacked!
469
00:20:09,930 --> 00:20:12,058
And now I'm gonna take
over all of Gotham!
470
00:20:12,060 --> 00:20:15,805
So what, you really just want kill
thousands of people just because?
471
00:20:15,807 --> 00:20:17,928
Because I'm Harley fucking Quinn!
472
00:20:17,930 --> 00:20:19,468
I'm always doing crazy things!
473
00:20:19,470 --> 00:20:21,341
Always being impetuous, you know?
474
00:20:21,343 --> 00:20:22,938
Always kissing people and shit!
475
00:20:22,940 --> 00:20:24,468
This is just my Wednesday.
476
00:20:24,470 --> 00:20:26,018
Yeah. It's actually Thursday.
477
00:20:26,020 --> 00:20:28,908
Anyway, look. You know me, I
mean, I'm ride or die, but...
478
00:20:28,910 --> 00:20:31,910
I mean, is this really
the ride you envisioned?
479
00:20:36,620 --> 00:20:37,788
[SCREECHING]
480
00:20:37,790 --> 00:20:39,018
Uh, not exactly.
481
00:20:39,020 --> 00:20:40,660
What's the endgame?
482
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:45,320
What do you really want?
483
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:51,430
What the hell are you doing?
484
00:20:53,470 --> 00:20:54,470
No!
485
00:21:02,450 --> 00:21:03,848
[HARLEY] The city's yours, Gordo.
486
00:21:03,850 --> 00:21:06,408
I know what I want, and it's not this.
487
00:21:06,410 --> 00:21:08,709
We were gonna take
over the fucking world
488
00:21:08,711 --> 00:21:10,118
and you're squandering it all!
489
00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:11,990
[SCREAMS] Ow! [CLANGING]
490
00:21:12,860 --> 00:21:14,029
Are you kidding me?
491
00:21:14,031 --> 00:21:16,145
Oh, I should have known
this was too good to be true.
492
00:21:16,147 --> 00:21:17,788
You got no balls, Quinn.
493
00:21:17,790 --> 00:21:18,890
Fuck this!
494
00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:21,933
See you back at home?
495
00:21:21,935 --> 00:21:23,436
No! I'm out of the crew.
496
00:21:23,438 --> 00:21:25,137
I fucking quit. See you never.
497
00:21:25,139 --> 00:21:26,880
This mean I won?
498
00:21:26,882 --> 00:21:28,523
I won! [LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY]
499
00:21:28,525 --> 00:21:32,295
This is why you don't back down, people!
500
00:21:35,010 --> 00:21:37,478
Look, I can explain the whole
Game of Thrones Khaleesi thing okay.
501
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:40,178
All... All this has just been
me avoiding something
502
00:21:40,180 --> 00:21:41,918
that I need to talk to you about
503
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:43,918
and if I don't do it now,
it will be too late.
504
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:46,958
Look, [SIGHS] if you really
need to say it, just...
505
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,250
Harley! Cool Parademons.
506
00:21:49,252 --> 00:21:51,128
Hey! Did Ivy tell you what she just did?
507
00:21:51,130 --> 00:21:53,498
How she's the coolest, hottest fiancee
508
00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:56,028
a regular guy with superpowers
like me could ever ask for?
509
00:21:56,030 --> 00:21:58,128
Well, I mean, I wasn't
just gonna sit there
510
00:21:58,130 --> 00:21:59,738
and watch your parents be assholes
511
00:21:59,740 --> 00:22:01,977
to the man that I want to
spend the rest of my life with.
512
00:22:01,979 --> 00:22:03,279
Mmm!
513
00:22:04,710 --> 00:22:06,198
[METAL CREAKING]
514
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,178
Oh, buddy! Those Parademons
are dry humping a taco truck.
515
00:22:09,180 --> 00:22:10,878
I'm gonna go snap a pic for Insta.
516
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,578
Ah, man. I love that idiot.
517
00:22:13,580 --> 00:22:15,548
- What were you gonna tell me, Harls?
- Um...
518
00:22:15,550 --> 00:22:17,548
We need to talk about...
519
00:22:17,550 --> 00:22:20,718
What you wanna do for
your bachelorette party!
520
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:22,392
Really? That's what
you wanted to tell me?
521
00:22:22,394 --> 00:22:23,654
Yeah!
522
00:22:23,656 --> 00:22:26,656
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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