All language subtitles for Dont.Raise.the.Bridge.Lower.the.River.1968.1080p.WEBRip.x264-RARBG-eng
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1
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,330
Hey, what's going on?
2
00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:32,500
Stars.
3
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:33,601
Stars.
4
00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:34,768
See? Stars.
5
00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:36,437
Now beat it.
Next one.
6
00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:41,275
Strike three!
You're out!
7
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:46,214
Time for George Lester
Enterprises. There you are.
8
00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:57,258
George Lester,
what are you doing here?
9
00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:48,609
* Don't raise the bridge,
Lower the river *
10
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:53,514
* Your sweet expressions
And your funny little ways *
11
00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:57,651
* Have made me understand
The meaning of the phrase *
12
00:01:57,651 --> 00:02:06,360
* Don't raise the bridge,
Lower the river *
13
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:10,998
* It means instead of rushing
fences like a fool *
14
00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:18,806
* We'd do much better
If we only played it cool *
15
00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:27,548
* We could be sniffing the air
Down in Rome *
16
00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:36,023
* Hearing the bells ring out
Under St. Peter's dome *
17
00:02:36,023 --> 00:02:43,997
* Why do I try pointing
the way to a star *
18
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:53,974
* When we get nearly as far
Staying at home? *
19
00:02:53,974 --> 00:03:02,716
* Don't raise the bridge
Lower the river *
20
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:08,055
* Why write a book when
Just a word or two will do? *
21
00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:09,690
* Don't raise the bridge *
22
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:12,893
* 'Cause there's
A river coming through *
23
00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:18,932
* We could be tanning our
hides down in Spain *
24
00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:28,742
* Why do we sit right here,
Driving ourselves insane *
25
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:36,149
* Why do I try
Flying you up to the sun *
26
00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:46,960
* When we have twice as much
fun out in the rain? **
27
00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:36,844
Not now, not now.
28
00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:46,854
George! I want to go back to
London, where it's warm.
29
00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:48,389
Ooh!
30
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:49,757
But Pamela,
31
00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:51,559
the whale blubber's
very big this season.
32
00:04:51,559 --> 00:04:53,661
Here, you lift
your head out.
33
00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:56,464
You should have
worn a muffler.
34
00:04:56,464 --> 00:04:58,065
There.
This will keep you--
35
00:04:58,065 --> 00:05:00,233
Just relax.
That's right.
36
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:01,369
This will
keep you warm.
37
00:05:01,369 --> 00:05:03,904
Mush!
Here we go.
38
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:05,606
Good dogs. Mush!
39
00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:06,907
Little rascal.
That's it.
40
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,743
We'll be going in a second,
sweetheart.
41
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:12,813
All right, dogs, mush!
That's it!
42
00:05:19,387 --> 00:05:20,688
Stop!
43
00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:23,323
George!
44
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,493
Yes, Pamela?
45
00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:27,495
I want to go back
to London,
46
00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:28,829
where it's dry.
47
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:29,763
But sweetheart,
48
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:32,433
it's elephant
burial grounds.
49
00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:34,968
Everyone's wearing
tusks this season.
50
00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:37,270
All right, ha! Ha!
51
00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:38,572
Move on!
52
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:40,974
Thank you.
53
00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:42,843
Thank you very much.
54
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,077
We appreciate it.
55
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:45,679
Thank you.
56
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:49,116
To three years
of happiness, my love,
57
00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:50,551
and if I may,
58
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:53,186
I would like to propose
a toast to you.
59
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,422
George,
60
00:05:54,422 --> 00:05:56,323
when are we
going back to London?
61
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:58,559
Ignore it.
62
00:05:58,559 --> 00:05:59,593
Just to tell them no calls.
63
00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:00,828
That's all, darling.
64
00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:02,596
I'm just going to
tell them, no calls--
65
00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:04,598
listen, you'll see--
and then we'll be alone.
66
00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:06,366
Hello, this is
Mister Lester.
67
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,168
Will you hold all my calls?
68
00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:11,505
Oh, he's on his way up now.
All right, thank you.
69
00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:12,740
Oh, George,
70
00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:14,307
not on our
anniversary...
71
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:15,943
He's been trying
to see me for months.
72
00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:17,511
It'll take a couple
of minutes, really.
73
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:18,846
I'll get rid of him,
you'll hear.
74
00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:20,581
There'll be a knock--
75
00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:22,716
As quick as he came up, that's
how quick I'll get rid of him.
76
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,251
Just give me a couple
of seconds.
77
00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:25,352
Mr. Kali,
come right in.
78
00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:26,854
Is your headache
any better?
79
00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:28,522
Nice to see you.
Mr. Homer told us about you.
80
00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:30,123
Won't you come in?
81
00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,925
Sit right down.
This is my wife.
82
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:32,760
Mr. Kali.
83
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:33,894
I'll get it.
84
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,763
Have some champagne.
Take mine.
85
00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:36,530
Hello?
86
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:37,965
Oh, Mr. Sabbatini...
87
00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:39,633
What did you say?
88
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:42,035
Mr. Homer's
check bounced?
That's impossible.
89
00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:43,804
I was looking over the contracts
for the feather shipment
90
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,606
and there's a couple of clauses
I'm not happy about.
91
00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:47,407
Oh, yes, it's
just marvelous,
92
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:48,576
and I guarantee you,
93
00:06:48,576 --> 00:06:50,578
as soon as the
fall-out level drops,
94
00:06:50,578 --> 00:06:51,779
this property will zoom.
95
00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,547
George!
96
00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:55,015
That does it!
97
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:57,317
Pamela, it's transistorized!
It's the newest in--
98
00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:58,586
I've had enough!
99
00:06:59,286 --> 00:07:00,287
Pam, hold on!
100
00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:02,355
Pam! Will you--
101
00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:04,858
Pamela!
102
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,263
Not now with the zebra!
Not now!
103
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,766
Take out these chickens!
Here, out!
104
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:16,203
Pamela!
Will you get--
105
00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:21,441
Could you prevail
on Mr. Lester
to get on with it?
106
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:22,910
Mrs. Lester would
like to leave.
107
00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:24,111
Mr. Lester,
108
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:25,613
is there something about
the divorce proceedings
109
00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:27,715
you don't understand?
110
00:07:27,715 --> 00:07:30,518
The divorce, I understand.
111
00:07:30,518 --> 00:07:32,620
The proceedings, I understand.
112
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:35,489
It's what I've done
that I don't understand.
113
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:37,725
Mrs. Lester,
Mr. Lester says
114
00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:39,493
that he understands
the divorce proceedings.
115
00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:40,928
It's what he's done
that he doesn't understand.
116
00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:43,030
Mrs. Lester heard
what Mr. Lester said,
117
00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:45,866
and could you tell Mr. Lester
that Mrs. Lester says,
118
00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:47,735
"Can we please
get on with it?"
119
00:07:47,735 --> 00:07:49,837
A man meets a woman,
120
00:07:49,837 --> 00:07:52,840
they fall in love,
they marry.
121
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,576
The man works
to give the woman
122
00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:57,645
the best things in life,
123
00:07:57,645 --> 00:08:01,481
and one day the woman
says to the man, "I'm leaving."
124
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,450
Just like that.
125
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:05,485
A man could faint from this.
126
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,020
Tell Mr. Lester
not to faint.
127
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:10,190
Tell Mr. Lester
it really isn't
so complicated.
128
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:12,793
Tell Mr. Lester
if he would once--
just once--
129
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:14,494
put himself in
Mrs. Lester's position,
130
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,597
being dragged all
over the world--
131
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:19,432
To think it would come to this.
132
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:20,400
Ugly. Ugly.
133
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:21,869
Being ignored,
134
00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:23,737
neglected while he wastes time
135
00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:25,606
on wild, improbable schemes.
136
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:28,776
It's the same old story.
137
00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:31,879
Nobody loves a loser.
138
00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:34,081
Ugly. Ugly.
139
00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:36,617
Tell Mr. Lester
that a wife is entitled
140
00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:38,786
to a certain amount
of permanence.
141
00:08:38,786 --> 00:08:41,221
Mr. Lester,
Mrs. Lester--
142
00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:52,099
Tell Mrs. Lester
143
00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:55,535
that Mr. Lester
is fully aware
of his bad behavior,
144
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,705
and does Mrs. Lester
know that Mr. Lester
145
00:08:57,705 --> 00:08:59,472
has lain awake
every night
146
00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:01,041
since she's
walked out on him?
147
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,543
Tell her that.
148
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:07,581
Mrs. Lester,
Mr. Lester said--
149
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:09,082
What did you say?
150
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:13,120
Oh, tell Mr. Lester
to stop this nonsense.
151
00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:14,454
You're a married man.
152
00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:15,589
Yes.
153
00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:17,090
Look,
154
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:21,461
a man finds an insight
into his true character,
155
00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:25,999
and this lady
calls that "nonsense."
156
00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:31,972
Mr. Hartford, what do they want?
157
00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:39,947
Mrs. Lester?
Uh, Mr. Lester
158
00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:41,982
would like you to know
that he knows
159
00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:44,151
how miserable
he's made your life,
160
00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:46,954
and he also knows
you're very unworthy--
161
00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:48,756
he's very
unworthy of you.
162
00:09:48,756 --> 00:09:50,223
It's too late, George.
163
00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:51,291
I knew when I said--
164
00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:52,893
Yeah.
165
00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:54,527
Just one more thing, Mr. Lester.
166
00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:56,630
The key to Mrs. Lester's house,
please.
167
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:58,265
Oh, yes.
168
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:02,169
Here you are.
169
00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:03,270
Thank you.
170
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:07,307
You, uh, might as well
take the rabbit's foot.
171
00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:10,477
It's going to be
a sticky business, I'm afraid.
172
00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:12,079
Shall we go
up to London?
173
00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:13,146
Please.
174
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,582
You go off on that trip,
my dear.
175
00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:16,950
Stay away for awhile.
176
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,618
Divorce matters
take quite a time.
177
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:21,321
Thank you, Mr. Lester,
for your cooperation.
178
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:22,723
Can I give you a lift?
179
00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:25,793
No, thank you, Mr. Hartford,
very much,
180
00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:27,795
but it's at times like these
181
00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:30,698
when a man must be alone
with his thoughts.
182
00:10:30,698 --> 00:10:33,266
Thank you anyway.
183
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:38,171
I'll just take a walk
in the moors.
184
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:41,775
I don't know
what they want from us.
185
00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:43,343
That's what
I always say to myself.
186
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:44,644
"What do they want from us?"
187
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,814
What do women want from men?
188
00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:49,249
You knock your brains out
to make a living,
189
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:50,283
you stay up all night
190
00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:52,953
trying to figure new ways
to make money,
191
00:10:52,953 --> 00:10:54,654
and what do you get in return?
192
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,589
Pow, right in the kisser.
193
00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:57,758
George, you're out.
194
00:10:57,758 --> 00:10:59,126
It's this fluoride
195
00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:00,794
they're dumping
in our drinking water.
196
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:02,262
I'm telling you,
197
00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:04,564
a man is going to have
to take a position somewhere,
198
00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:07,067
sometime, soon.
199
00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:12,973
Well, I want to thank you anyhow
for your advice.
200
00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:16,744
You make a lot of sense.
201
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,343
Pamela!
202
00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:55,448
Pam!
203
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:57,317
She's not here.
204
00:11:57,317 --> 00:12:01,721
Well, she's not here.
205
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:04,057
She wants permanence.
206
00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:10,798
She wants permanence.
207
00:12:10,798 --> 00:12:13,733
I'll give her--
208
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:16,169
I'll give her permanence.
209
00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:17,604
I--
210
00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:20,473
I know a number...
211
00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:23,811
by heart...
212
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:28,748
Hello, Mr. Clive?
213
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,518
Oh, hello.
George Lester here.
214
00:12:31,518 --> 00:12:32,953
I say, Mr. Clive,
215
00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:35,055
will you be in your office
in the bank tomorrow?
216
00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:37,290
Oh, nothing very important,
217
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:40,593
just a small matter of finance,
that's all.
218
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:45,598
I've been seriously considering
redecorating our home,
219
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,567
inside and out.
220
00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:24,304
Well, now.
221
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:25,738
Ding how!
222
00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:27,074
And nice to see you again.
223
00:13:27,074 --> 00:13:28,808
Welcome to my humble
hot spot, Doc.
224
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,210
You know, that filling
that you, uh--
225
00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:32,679
Chaucer is the name,
Geoffrey Chaucer.
226
00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:34,081
Oh, yes,
how stupid of me.
227
00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:35,282
I'm sorry about that.
228
00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:37,017
We have your table
for you, Geoffrey, baby.
229
00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:38,418
You too, Mrs. Chaucer.
230
00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:40,153
You are a devil.
231
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,654
Ah, yes,
I certainly am.
232
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:44,691
Bruce, you have the table
for Mr. and Mrs. Chaucer, huh?
233
00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:46,326
See that they get the best.
234
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:47,961
Go right in
and enjoy yourselves.
235
00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:50,763
I'll send the bill
to your office, Mr. C.
236
00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:51,999
Yes.
237
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:53,800
Everything going all right?
238
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,002
Great.
239
00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:57,037
Wonderful, precious child.
240
00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:04,444
May I have your attention,
please?
241
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:05,545
Would Mrs.--
242
00:14:05,545 --> 00:14:06,880
I said to her, I said,
243
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:08,515
"Mrs. Kalbfus,
sign here," I said,
244
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:11,018
"and your late husband's
new electronic drill
245
00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:12,185
"will cease
to be a blueprint
246
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,753
but will become
a reality,"
247
00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:16,023
and she signed, Pamela.
She signed.
248
00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:17,357
Yes, with these
blueprints here,
249
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:20,127
I'm going to revolutionize
the oil game,
250
00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:23,796
but let us not
talk business, my turtle.
251
00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:25,698
When will you give me
your answer?
252
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,100
When will you sign?
253
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:29,036
Oh, Dudley,
please don't rush me.
254
00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:30,237
I'm still married,
you know.
255
00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:31,604
One hour in
a divorce court,
256
00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:33,373
and we can soon
see to that,
257
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,042
eh, my turtle dove?
258
00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:36,776
Ah, Walter, over here.
259
00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:37,911
My man, Walter.
260
00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:39,079
Good trip, Mr. Heath?
261
00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:40,713
First class, Walter,
first class.
262
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,882
Would you take Mrs. Lester's
bag, please, Walter?
263
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,251
We're dropping her off.
264
00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:45,818
Yes, sir.
265
00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:47,020
Thank you, Walter.
266
00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:49,522
Oh, I can't wait
to get back to my own home
267
00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:50,357
and settle down.
268
00:14:57,830 --> 00:14:59,266
Anything you want?
Don't hesitate to ask.
269
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:01,068
Good evening, hope you're
enjoying your dinner.
270
00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:03,036
Isn't he beautiful?
271
00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:05,072
Is everything all right here?
272
00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:06,839
Oh, Captain, my captain,
273
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:10,243
bring me a magnum
of your finest grape.
274
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:13,813
Georgie, baby.
275
00:15:13,813 --> 00:15:15,882
Willy, you ruined
my marriage.
276
00:15:15,882 --> 00:15:17,550
Violence, violence
in the dining room.
277
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:18,718
Awfully bad
for business.
278
00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:21,021
Besides,
you can search
279
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:22,689
the four corners
of the globe
280
00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:23,991
without ever
finding anybody
281
00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:26,493
more dedicated to you
than H. William Homer.
282
00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:29,029
I did search
the four corners of the earth,
283
00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:31,598
for the bad check
for a trainload of chutney.
284
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:33,733
Where did you disappear to,
Twinkle Toes?
285
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:34,767
Why, I'm so sorry.
286
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:35,935
Say hello
to Fern Averback.
287
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,037
Hello.
288
00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:38,171
Where's my money?
289
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:39,973
Don't let's reminisce.
290
00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:42,109
I say, what a lovely
location here.
291
00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:43,510
What's it a front for?
292
00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:45,578
I'm in business now.
293
00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:47,780
And what are you stealing,
and from whom?
294
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,217
Tsk-tsk-tsk.
Indelicately put.
295
00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:52,152
Well, then I'll
put it delicately.
296
00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:53,786
When do I get my money?
297
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,889
Soon, soon.
I have new interests.
298
00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:58,358
I have fingers in many pies.
299
00:15:58,358 --> 00:16:01,194
I'm expanding,
and my organization has room
300
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:02,929
for a talented young man.
301
00:16:02,929 --> 00:16:05,165
Forget it.
302
00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:07,034
But I haven't even
discussed terms yet.
303
00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:10,403
Terms? I'm still
oozing chutney.
304
00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:15,108
Are you, uh,
are you quite sure
305
00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:16,909
that you won't stay
at my place?
306
00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:19,179
Just a skeleton staff,
you know,
307
00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:21,248
but we can make do.
308
00:16:21,248 --> 00:16:23,750
Uh, no,
but thank you, Dudley.
309
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:25,085
I've been away so long,
310
00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:26,619
tonight I'd prefer
to stay at my own house.
311
00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:27,720
Of course,
312
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,023
but you will be sure
to let me know at once
313
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:32,825
if there's anything
I can do, sweet nymph.
314
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,194
I'd hate to think of you
315
00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:38,298
rattling about in that
big, empty house.
316
00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:44,437
George, I hate to see
a man of your talents
slopping soy sauce.
317
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:46,773
It hurts,
in here, old boy.
318
00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:48,007
Yes, I'm sure
it does, Willy.
319
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,242
Well, we are
naming this dish
320
00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:50,343
in your honor,
you know.
321
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,779
It's called
"Tong Chow Loo."
322
00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:54,514
Ha
323
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:55,582
Fink soup.
324
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:57,050
Look, George,
325
00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:58,751
if you ever feel
like rejoining the major league,
326
00:16:58,751 --> 00:17:00,087
this is where
you can get me.
327
00:17:00,087 --> 00:17:01,454
Under what name?
328
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:02,889
Look, Willy, let me
tell you something.
329
00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:04,624
When the bill comes,
don't sign it.
330
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:05,858
Cash, please.
331
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,094
I would hate
to see you
332
00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:09,028
and the lovely lady
having to wash dishes.
333
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,697
I'll wash if you'll dry.
334
00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,565
That's marvelous.
335
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:15,135
He is beautiful.
336
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:18,071
Pardon, mum, but is
this the place?
337
00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:19,772
Oh, no, that's
not my house.
338
00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:21,241
That's a hideous
looking place,
339
00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:23,776
and Lord knows who thought
of putting it out here--
340
00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:25,678
Stop!
Did I draw blood?
341
00:17:25,678 --> 00:17:26,879
That's my house!
342
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,381
Of course it's your house,
darling.
343
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:29,749
I've been waiting for you.
344
00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:30,917
My house?
345
00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:32,685
This is my house?
346
00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:34,187
It's a chop suey parlor!
347
00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:35,755
How did you get
back in here?
348
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:38,591
How are you, darling?
You know, you were right.
349
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:40,427
It was right here,
right before my very eyes.
350
00:17:40,427 --> 00:17:42,129
"Diamonds
in your own back yard."
351
00:17:42,129 --> 00:17:44,497
Why don't you
sit down, honey?
It's your house.
352
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,166
Why don't you sit down
and make yourself comfortable?
353
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:47,600
I don't want to sit down,
I want--
354
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,169
Pamela, you look
absolutely marvelous.
355
00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:50,970
I didn't even invite you
to have a drink.
356
00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:52,239
A brandy...
357
00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:53,506
I don't want a brandy.
I want my house back.
358
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:56,008
But you've got--
That coat, Pam...
359
00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:57,910
Of all the coats
I've ever seen,
that's the greatest--
360
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,147
George, by what right
361
00:18:00,147 --> 00:18:02,182
do you think you can do this
to my family home?
362
00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:03,650
Every right.
363
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,051
Ooh!
364
00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:06,353
Permanence, remember?
365
00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:08,688
You're the one.
Permanence.
366
00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:10,657
Aren't you the one that said
I was thoughtless?
367
00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:11,458
That I was a bum?
368
00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:12,592
You did,
and you were right,
369
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:14,461
but you're looking
at a new George.
370
00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:17,597
A respected
Chinese discothequer.
371
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:21,568
CHINESE ACCENT:
Old leopard fool mate.
372
00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:22,835
Change spots.
373
00:18:24,070 --> 00:18:27,774
Welcome honorable mate.
374
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:31,043
Where did you
get the money,
old leopard?
375
00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:32,812
The money?
376
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,381
Well, everyone has been
awfully cooperative,
377
00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:36,249
and we can get a loan
at the bank.
378
00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:37,384
You'll have to sign some papers,
379
00:18:37,384 --> 00:18:38,585
but you don't
have to do it now.
380
00:18:38,585 --> 00:18:40,687
You expect to mortgage my house?
381
00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:43,756
Wine rice-- Rice wine
will be very good for you,
382
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:44,957
because after a trip,
I'm sure you're thirsty,
383
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:45,992
so a little wine--
384
00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:47,026
I am not thirsty.
385
00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:48,461
I'm furious.
386
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:51,398
I want my house back
the way it was.
387
00:18:51,398 --> 00:18:52,499
You've got
your house, darling.
388
00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:53,633
It's ours.
We're partners.
389
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,302
I held a table for you
opening night,
390
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:56,703
and every night
from this point on,
391
00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:58,605
you can sit there
and listen to the ecstatic music
392
00:18:58,605 --> 00:19:00,440
of the stereophonic
cash registers--
393
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:01,674
one pound, two tuppence,
three eightpence.
394
00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:04,377
George!
How much do these bills come to?
395
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:08,181
Uh...
nothing big, darling.
396
00:19:08,181 --> 00:19:10,049
Uh, 25,000 pounds.
397
00:19:10,049 --> 00:19:11,318
George Lester!
398
00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:15,087
They let you
spend 25,000 pounds
399
00:19:15,087 --> 00:19:16,589
without my signature?
400
00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:19,226
Did I tell you about the chef
I imported from Hong Kong?
401
00:19:19,226 --> 00:19:21,728
He makes a moo goo gai pan
you wouldn't believe.
402
00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:23,029
You lick your fingers.
403
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:24,697
Men go faint from it,
people die.
404
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:27,434
It's just fantastic,
and business has
been marvelous.
405
00:19:27,434 --> 00:19:29,469
Everything is superb,
and I owe it all to you.
406
00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:32,639
A toast to George The Permanent.
407
00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:33,440
Ugh.
408
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:34,907
We don't communicate.
409
00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:38,044
We never have
communicated.
410
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:39,379
I've always listened
to everything--
411
00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:40,513
I leave you,
I go away,
412
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:41,948
he destroys my house,
413
00:19:41,948 --> 00:19:43,583
and then he
blames it onto me.
414
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:47,454
That's the greatest tan
I've ever seen.
415
00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:49,522
That's fantastic.
Are you all--
416
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,958
is it all over that way?
I mean, everywhere--
417
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:54,193
It's the same shade
as prison pallor, actually.
418
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,596
I don't follow you, dear.
419
00:19:56,596 --> 00:19:58,731
That pale yellow
you're going to be
420
00:19:58,731 --> 00:20:01,634
after 50 years
in Wormwood Scrubs.
421
00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:03,603
Oh, Wormwood Scrubs,
that's a prison.
422
00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:06,005
You don't visit there.
When you go,
it's over, you stay.
423
00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:07,407
That's right, you stay,
424
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:09,676
because that's where your
creditors will put you
425
00:20:09,676 --> 00:20:12,144
after I refuse
to sign the mortgage.
426
00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:14,213
Oh!
427
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:18,551
Pamela, I was only
trying to prove
428
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:21,421
that I was not the man
that you walked out on.
429
00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:26,259
I mean, you can't--
you can't really
condemn a man
430
00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:29,496
for using
a little ingenuity.
431
00:20:29,496 --> 00:20:31,298
I wanted you back,
and you were worth it.
432
00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:33,132
I'm going to ring
my solicitor.
433
00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:35,468
No, I'll call Scotland Yard.
434
00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:36,803
No, wait a minute,
you're American.
435
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:38,971
You're an
international menace.
436
00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:41,140
I'll ring Interpol.
437
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:42,875
Pamela...
438
00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:44,110
Put the phone down.
439
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:45,578
You can do that
in the morning.
440
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,847
And what do you think
you're up to now?
441
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:48,681
Nothing, my love.
442
00:20:48,681 --> 00:20:51,884
Just sit right down, won't you?
443
00:20:51,884 --> 00:20:56,255
CHINESE ACCENT:
Husband would like
to have friendly chat
444
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:59,158
with long-lost wife.
445
00:20:59,158 --> 00:21:00,893
This isn't going
to keep you
446
00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:03,863
out of Wormwood Scrubs,
Doctor Fu Manchu.
447
00:21:03,863 --> 00:21:05,932
It won't work.
448
00:21:09,902 --> 00:21:11,938
It's a very cold prison.
449
00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:12,939
Damp.
450
00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:14,541
Damp...
451
00:21:16,175 --> 00:21:18,110
And the cells are very small.
452
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:19,346
Dank.
453
00:21:19,346 --> 00:21:21,280
Dank...
454
00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:28,988
And by the time you come out,
you'll have a very long beard.
455
00:21:28,988 --> 00:21:30,357
White.
456
00:21:41,067 --> 00:21:42,835
No.
457
00:21:42,835 --> 00:21:45,037
It's locked.
458
00:21:45,037 --> 00:21:46,773
Go ahead.
459
00:21:46,773 --> 00:21:48,140
Pamela!
460
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:49,241
Are you in there?
461
00:21:49,241 --> 00:21:50,377
Yes, Dudley.
462
00:21:50,377 --> 00:21:52,579
And I'm coming right out.
463
00:21:52,579 --> 00:21:53,980
Are you all right,
my dear?
464
00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:55,314
What was he up to?
465
00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:56,949
Oh, nothing very new.
466
00:21:56,949 --> 00:21:59,719
What have you done
to this woman's
private property?
467
00:21:59,719 --> 00:22:03,823
None of your business,
and might I ask, who are you?
468
00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:06,593
He's a friend of mine.
Dudley Heath.
469
00:22:06,593 --> 00:22:08,260
He doesn't look
like anybody's friend to me.
470
00:22:08,260 --> 00:22:09,295
George, watch it.
471
00:22:09,295 --> 00:22:10,497
Well, that was rude,
472
00:22:10,497 --> 00:22:11,464
and very ill-mannered.
473
00:22:11,464 --> 00:22:12,865
I'm terribly sorry.
474
00:22:12,865 --> 00:22:14,734
I apologize,
but I can be just
as civilized as you.
475
00:22:14,734 --> 00:22:16,135
I would like to
invite you
476
00:22:16,135 --> 00:22:17,336
to be my guests
this evening
477
00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:18,405
for a midnight
Mandarin dinner.
478
00:22:18,405 --> 00:22:19,872
Let me check
that for you.
479
00:22:19,872 --> 00:22:20,973
Hands off.
480
00:22:20,973 --> 00:22:22,475
What is it, hot?
481
00:22:22,475 --> 00:22:24,076
They're Dudley's blueprints.
482
00:22:24,076 --> 00:22:25,378
Oh, he's an architect.
483
00:22:25,378 --> 00:22:27,914
They're for a high-speed
electronic drill.
484
00:22:27,914 --> 00:22:29,048
Oh, he's a dentist.
485
00:22:29,048 --> 00:22:31,083
I'm in oil.
486
00:22:33,453 --> 00:22:34,854
Well, we don't need any.
487
00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:36,489
The girls downstairs
throw off enough heat.
488
00:22:36,489 --> 00:22:38,691
The man's a raving idiot.
Come along, my dear.
489
00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:42,695
You obviously can't
spend the night
here in this... opium den.
490
00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:44,163
Hold it.
Hold it one second!
491
00:22:44,163 --> 00:22:46,098
May I remind you, sir--
492
00:22:46,098 --> 00:22:47,567
that this lady, Mrs. Lester,
493
00:22:47,567 --> 00:22:50,302
still happens to be married
to this man, Mr. Lester.
494
00:22:50,302 --> 00:22:51,971
Only in the eyes
of the law.
495
00:22:51,971 --> 00:22:54,807
Dudley, would you
drive me to a hotel?
496
00:22:54,807 --> 00:22:56,476
Pamela,
497
00:22:56,476 --> 00:22:58,377
will you listen here
for a minute, please?
498
00:22:58,377 --> 00:22:59,812
Why don't you
stay here the night?
499
00:22:59,812 --> 00:23:01,981
Use the main suite,
all the comforts of home.
500
00:23:01,981 --> 00:23:03,149
Main size
double bed--
501
00:23:03,149 --> 00:23:04,316
How dare you?
502
00:23:04,316 --> 00:23:05,718
I'm the raving idiot,
remember?
503
00:23:05,718 --> 00:23:08,220
Pamela... Out of the way,
if you don't mind.
504
00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:09,321
Pamela, will you
listen, please?
505
00:23:09,321 --> 00:23:10,557
I didn't mean it
with the dentist.
506
00:23:10,557 --> 00:23:11,524
I've been ill...
507
00:23:11,524 --> 00:23:12,825
Her own home,
508
00:23:12,825 --> 00:23:14,461
and look what
you've done to it.
509
00:23:14,461 --> 00:23:16,563
Would you like me
to call the police, my dear?
510
00:23:16,563 --> 00:23:18,297
Oh, no, that won't
be necessary.
511
00:23:18,297 --> 00:23:19,532
My husband, Mr. Lester,
512
00:23:19,532 --> 00:23:21,901
has agreed to do
the right thing by me.
513
00:23:21,901 --> 00:23:23,202
Before the divorce,
514
00:23:23,202 --> 00:23:25,972
he's going to restore my house
to its original state.
515
00:23:25,972 --> 00:23:26,839
Oh, Pamela!
516
00:23:26,839 --> 00:23:28,307
Put it back the way it was,
angel,
517
00:23:28,307 --> 00:23:29,842
and pay off all the bills.
518
00:23:29,842 --> 00:23:31,210
25,000 pounds?
519
00:23:31,210 --> 00:23:32,812
Mm-hm, every
single one of them.
520
00:23:32,812 --> 00:23:34,914
Mrs. Lester, you're
not really serious
521
00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:36,282
about going through
with this divorce,
522
00:23:36,282 --> 00:23:37,750
not after everything
I've done for you.
523
00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:39,919
After everything
you've done to me,
524
00:23:39,919 --> 00:23:42,922
Mr. Lester.
525
00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:45,458
Is anything wrong,
Mr. Lester?
526
00:23:45,458 --> 00:23:47,159
You call me "George."
527
00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:57,970
Good morning,
Bella Cars at your service--
528
00:23:57,970 --> 00:23:58,971
Oh, hi, Fred.
529
00:23:58,971 --> 00:24:00,573
Oh, it's you.
530
00:24:00,573 --> 00:24:02,108
Well, I'm glad
you dropped by, Mr. Lester.
531
00:24:02,108 --> 00:24:03,743
There's a small matter
of your account.
532
00:24:03,743 --> 00:24:05,444
Well, if it's small,
leave it alone, it'll grow.
533
00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:06,613
Fill it up, Fred, would you?
534
00:24:06,613 --> 00:24:08,380
It's not small.
535
00:24:08,380 --> 00:24:10,349
Fred, you seem to be
somewhat hostile.
536
00:24:10,349 --> 00:24:13,352
I'm not hostile!
I'm depressed.
537
00:24:13,352 --> 00:24:15,221
Depressed?
538
00:24:15,221 --> 00:24:16,489
I see.
539
00:24:16,489 --> 00:24:17,990
What have you got to be
depressed about, Fred?
540
00:24:17,990 --> 00:24:21,360
Do you realize that you
are unduly depressed?
541
00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:22,962
You know the people
that are depressed?
542
00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:24,797
They are the people that haven't
got anything going for them.
543
00:24:24,797 --> 00:24:27,166
Now will you listen to me?
Take a look.
544
00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:28,200
Just take a look.
545
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:29,301
Do you realize
that you are
546
00:24:29,301 --> 00:24:30,402
the sole distributor
547
00:24:30,402 --> 00:24:32,138
for a Portuguese
sports car?
548
00:24:32,138 --> 00:24:34,607
Portugal's answer
to the Volkswagen, you said.
549
00:24:34,607 --> 00:24:36,208
Well, who asked Portugal?
550
00:24:36,208 --> 00:24:38,344
Oh, Fred, that's defeatist talk.
551
00:24:38,344 --> 00:24:39,612
I'm surprised at you.
552
00:24:39,612 --> 00:24:41,848
Now how many times
do I have to tell you?
553
00:24:41,848 --> 00:24:43,816
The world is divided
into two types.
554
00:24:43,816 --> 00:24:45,885
There's the takers,
and there's the taken.
555
00:24:45,885 --> 00:24:47,987
Fred, you're
going to be a taker.
556
00:24:47,987 --> 00:24:50,422
You've got to say to yourself,
"I, Fred Davies, am..."
557
00:24:50,422 --> 00:24:52,625
A taker!
Look at all these
558
00:24:52,625 --> 00:24:53,960
unsold Bellas
you got me to buy.
559
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:55,995
Well, Fred, you can't
stand around sulking.
560
00:24:55,995 --> 00:24:59,498
You've got to go out
and beat the drum.
561
00:24:59,498 --> 00:25:00,800
I've got it.
562
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:02,501
You're still flying
to Lisbon every week?
563
00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:04,003
All right, on your
next trip,
564
00:25:04,003 --> 00:25:06,005
pick up 12 Portuguese
bossa nova records.
565
00:25:06,005 --> 00:25:09,341
A freelance steward
on an unscheduled airliner
566
00:25:09,341 --> 00:25:10,843
does not do the bossa nova.
567
00:25:10,843 --> 00:25:12,078
Will you let me finish?
568
00:25:12,078 --> 00:25:14,246
You get a jukebox,
you put it outside,
569
00:25:14,246 --> 00:25:15,615
you attach
a loudspeaker to it.
570
00:25:15,615 --> 00:25:16,749
You'll have the customers
571
00:25:16,749 --> 00:25:18,250
dancing to the
native rhythm.
572
00:25:18,250 --> 00:25:19,586
What customers?
573
00:25:22,521 --> 00:25:25,692
Sell her.
Go on, sell.
574
00:25:25,692 --> 00:25:26,926
I've already sold it.
575
00:25:26,926 --> 00:25:27,760
Morning, Fred.
576
00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:29,028
Oh, good morning.
577
00:25:29,028 --> 00:25:30,296
I'm having a sort of
bother with this engine.
578
00:25:30,296 --> 00:25:31,297
Oh.
579
00:25:31,297 --> 00:25:33,566
Oh! Oh!
580
00:25:33,566 --> 00:25:35,702
I think it's
the carburetor.
581
00:25:35,702 --> 00:25:38,337
It's that little thing
that sticks.
582
00:25:38,337 --> 00:25:39,538
Look, would you like a new car?
583
00:25:39,538 --> 00:25:41,774
No! I'd rather
584
00:25:41,774 --> 00:25:44,110
we went dancing tomorrow night.
585
00:25:44,110 --> 00:25:45,244
Oh, no, no, no,
586
00:25:45,244 --> 00:25:47,413
I'm, uh, I'm off to Lisbon
first thing tomorrow.
587
00:25:47,413 --> 00:25:48,781
Oh, bad luck.
588
00:25:48,781 --> 00:25:50,717
The girls and I are going
on an overnight hike
589
00:25:50,717 --> 00:25:52,151
to Lower Dorten.
590
00:25:52,151 --> 00:25:53,052
Oh, Lower Dorten,
591
00:25:53,052 --> 00:25:54,286
very bad for my leg,
Lower Dorten.
592
00:25:54,286 --> 00:25:55,554
I thought it was
your sinuses.
593
00:25:55,554 --> 00:25:57,323
Oh, yes, very bad
for my sinuses as well.
594
00:25:57,323 --> 00:26:00,026
Lower Dorten, huh?
Charming spot.
595
00:26:00,026 --> 00:26:04,530
Oh, Mr. Lester,
you're just the man
I was looking for.
596
00:26:04,530 --> 00:26:06,565
Have you given any
thought just lately
597
00:26:06,565 --> 00:26:07,700
to British Womanhood?
598
00:26:07,700 --> 00:26:08,968
Oh, considerably.
599
00:26:08,968 --> 00:26:10,637
Especially one
British Womanhood.
600
00:26:10,637 --> 00:26:12,004
No, no, no.
601
00:26:12,004 --> 00:26:13,940
I refer to these future
mothers of Britannia,
602
00:26:13,940 --> 00:26:16,008
innocent fledglings
who need your help.
603
00:26:16,008 --> 00:26:17,644
These are innocent fledglings?
604
00:26:17,644 --> 00:26:19,311
Who need your help.
605
00:26:19,311 --> 00:26:20,713
Oh, I wouldn't dare.
606
00:26:20,713 --> 00:26:22,949
We're going to hold our
annual Girl Guide raffle,
607
00:26:22,949 --> 00:26:25,184
and the first prize will be--
608
00:26:25,184 --> 00:26:26,986
An annual girl guide?
609
00:26:26,986 --> 00:26:29,555
No, something much more useful.
610
00:26:29,555 --> 00:26:31,323
Fred here has been good enough
611
00:26:31,323 --> 00:26:32,591
to donate one of these
612
00:26:32,591 --> 00:26:33,726
marvelous little
Portuguese sports cars,
613
00:26:33,726 --> 00:26:34,961
the Bella.
614
00:26:34,961 --> 00:26:36,763
And what's the second prize,
two Bellas?
615
00:26:36,763 --> 00:26:38,665
Two Bellas?
616
00:26:38,665 --> 00:26:40,432
No, I was just joking.
Okay, I'll take a ticket.
617
00:26:40,432 --> 00:26:45,004
Oh, no, no, no.
We want to sell them
in your Hong Kong Gardens.
618
00:26:45,004 --> 00:26:47,206
Please, think
of the goodwill,
619
00:26:47,206 --> 00:26:49,308
and everyone in the town
will be so delighted.
620
00:26:49,308 --> 00:26:50,509
If they lose.
621
00:26:50,509 --> 00:26:52,211
No, I didn't
mean that at all.
622
00:26:52,211 --> 00:26:54,613
Well, never let it be said
George Lester wasn't all heart.
623
00:26:54,613 --> 00:26:55,715
It's okay.
624
00:26:55,715 --> 00:26:58,617
Oh, I say,
jolly good show!
625
00:26:58,617 --> 00:27:00,519
Girls, what do you say?
626
00:27:02,488 --> 00:27:04,824
All right, okay...
627
00:27:06,859 --> 00:27:09,295
Down, girls.
Let's not get carried away.
628
00:27:09,295 --> 00:27:10,763
All right, back! Ha!
629
00:27:10,763 --> 00:27:14,667
Two Bellas...
second prize.
630
00:27:20,506 --> 00:27:23,676
Oh, I say, awfully good.
631
00:27:23,676 --> 00:27:26,078
And that's the way I left it,
Mr. Hartford.
632
00:27:26,078 --> 00:27:27,613
He'll have to restore my house,
633
00:27:27,613 --> 00:27:29,782
and I will on no account
sign that mortgage.
634
00:27:29,782 --> 00:27:32,118
Oh, certainly I realize
he's irresponsible.
635
00:27:32,118 --> 00:27:33,786
Who'd know that better
than I would?
636
00:27:33,786 --> 00:27:35,154
But I also see no reason
637
00:27:35,154 --> 00:27:37,323
to aggravate myself about it
any longer.
638
00:27:37,323 --> 00:27:41,160
I mean, I'm a mature woman who,
after three years of marriage,
639
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,864
has developed certain
self-defensive reflexes.
I mean--
640
00:27:44,864 --> 00:27:46,999
And I love
those reflexes.
641
00:27:46,999 --> 00:27:48,434
George, will you
get out of my room?
642
00:27:48,434 --> 00:27:51,437
I love this hotel,
allowing every
Tom, Dick, and Harry
643
00:27:51,437 --> 00:27:52,805
to barge in here
unannounced.
644
00:27:52,805 --> 00:27:55,641
Tom, Dick, and Harry?
Pamela, I'm George.
645
00:27:55,641 --> 00:27:57,509
Your George.
646
00:27:57,509 --> 00:27:58,745
Look, this is
all yours, darling.
647
00:27:58,745 --> 00:28:01,147
Last night's receipts.
247 pounds.
648
00:28:01,147 --> 00:28:04,183
You wanted permanence?
You've got permanence.
649
00:28:04,183 --> 00:28:06,518
George, you dropped money
all over my egg.
650
00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:07,987
You're promoting me,
George,
651
00:28:07,987 --> 00:28:09,588
just like
one of your schemes.
652
00:28:09,588 --> 00:28:13,125
I am not promoting you, Pamela,
and it's not one of my schemes.
653
00:28:13,125 --> 00:28:15,494
I have a steady job.
I'm working very hard.
654
00:28:15,494 --> 00:28:16,796
I taste won ton soup--
655
00:28:16,796 --> 00:28:18,164
CHINESE ACCENT:
"Won ton soup very good"--
656
00:28:18,164 --> 00:28:19,932
and I feel egg rolls
for quality control--
657
00:28:19,932 --> 00:28:21,200
CHINESE ACCENT:
"Ah, very good quality."
658
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:23,736
That's what you wanted,
isn't it, Pamela?
659
00:28:24,670 --> 00:28:25,938
Well, what does that mean?
660
00:28:25,938 --> 00:28:28,540
You don't need a wife, George.
661
00:28:28,540 --> 00:28:29,675
Pamela, I have never
662
00:28:29,675 --> 00:28:31,243
fooled around
with another woman.
663
00:28:31,243 --> 00:28:32,311
Oh, I know that.
664
00:28:32,311 --> 00:28:33,846
You couldn't find
the time for another woman.
665
00:28:33,846 --> 00:28:35,848
All you need is a woman
to answer your phone,
666
00:28:35,848 --> 00:28:38,117
and they've invented
a lady tape recorder for that.
667
00:28:38,117 --> 00:28:40,452
Pamela, we've been
married three years--
668
00:28:40,452 --> 00:28:41,988
Let me do that.
669
00:28:41,988 --> 00:28:44,590
Three years,
and you don't even know me.
670
00:28:44,590 --> 00:28:45,758
Three superb years.
671
00:28:45,758 --> 00:28:48,027
Hey, what do I
take in my tea?
672
00:28:48,027 --> 00:28:48,861
Huh?
673
00:28:48,861 --> 00:28:50,329
What do I take in my tea?
674
00:28:50,329 --> 00:28:52,031
Oh, milk.
675
00:28:52,031 --> 00:28:54,333
Lemon.
Hmm, lemon.
676
00:28:54,333 --> 00:28:55,301
How much sugar?
677
00:28:55,301 --> 00:28:57,503
One
Three.
678
00:28:57,503 --> 00:28:59,571
Yeah, one and two are three,
that's what I said.
679
00:28:59,571 --> 00:29:01,774
Hmph! You see,
you don't know me.
680
00:29:01,774 --> 00:29:03,275
What's the difference,
Pamela,
681
00:29:03,275 --> 00:29:05,211
if I don't know what
you take in your tea?
682
00:29:05,211 --> 00:29:08,781
But I do know what
you feel like
683
00:29:08,781 --> 00:29:12,084
when I put my arms
around you,
684
00:29:12,084 --> 00:29:15,354
and I do know what
makes you blush,
685
00:29:15,354 --> 00:29:17,990
and I know where that
cute little mole is,
686
00:29:17,990 --> 00:29:22,261
and I know what
your lips taste like.
687
00:29:23,595 --> 00:29:26,632
I never complained
about that.
688
00:29:26,632 --> 00:29:29,401
Then what is it?
689
00:29:29,401 --> 00:29:30,837
That dumb
690
00:29:30,837 --> 00:29:32,071
No, it isn't.
691
00:29:32,071 --> 00:29:37,376
I saw it last night
in his shifty eyes.
692
00:29:38,644 --> 00:29:40,746
Oh, he's much
too old for that.
693
00:29:40,746 --> 00:29:42,514
It's disgusting.
694
00:29:42,514 --> 00:29:43,515
Uh-uh.
695
00:29:43,515 --> 00:29:45,651
Dudley's been
very helpful,
696
00:29:45,651 --> 00:29:47,686
very understanding.
697
00:29:47,686 --> 00:29:49,989
Ha! Very helpful and
very understanding.
698
00:29:49,989 --> 00:29:52,658
Come on, Pamela.
699
00:29:52,658 --> 00:29:54,560
Don't you answer that phone!
Hello?
700
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:56,929
Yes, who's that calling?
701
00:29:56,929 --> 00:29:59,598
This is Mrs. Lester.
702
00:29:59,598 --> 00:30:01,300
It's your bank manager,
Mr. Clive.
703
00:30:01,300 --> 00:30:03,669
He wants to know
if I've signed
the mortgage yet.
704
00:30:03,669 --> 00:30:05,771
Oh, uh...
I'll call you back.
705
00:30:05,771 --> 00:30:07,940
A little ahead
of schedule, wasn't he?
706
00:30:07,940 --> 00:30:09,775
Well, I told you not
to answer the phone.
707
00:30:09,775 --> 00:30:11,643
Well, your timing
is a little bit off.
708
00:30:11,643 --> 00:30:13,245
Too bad!
709
00:30:13,245 --> 00:30:15,681
I'm not going to be cuckolded
into signing any mortgage!
710
00:30:15,681 --> 00:30:16,682
Here!
711
00:30:16,682 --> 00:30:18,284
Pamela, you're
not leaving.
712
00:30:18,284 --> 00:30:20,319
You take yourself
and your permanence out!
713
00:30:20,319 --> 00:30:22,354
Pamela, I'm going to have
to leave if this continues.
714
00:30:22,354 --> 00:30:24,623
You are so right,
you'll have to leave...
715
00:30:24,623 --> 00:30:26,658
and put my house
back the way it was!
716
00:30:26,658 --> 00:30:28,460
Pamela!
717
00:30:28,460 --> 00:30:29,929
You...
718
00:30:29,929 --> 00:30:33,365
egg roll feeler!
719
00:30:33,365 --> 00:30:34,433
And won ton taster.
720
00:30:34,433 --> 00:30:36,368
Oh!
721
00:30:38,670 --> 00:30:40,572
What do they want?
722
00:31:29,655 --> 00:31:31,023
180,000?
723
00:31:31,023 --> 00:31:32,058
Sure I'll buy them,
724
00:31:32,058 --> 00:31:33,359
as long as I get
my percentage.
725
00:31:33,359 --> 00:31:34,360
Willy?
726
00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:35,827
33 and a third.
727
00:31:35,827 --> 00:31:36,929
Well, make it a 33.
728
00:31:36,929 --> 00:31:38,230
I don't want to be greedy.
729
00:31:38,230 --> 00:31:41,000
By the way,
180,000 what?
730
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,468
Hey, Willy, where are you?
731
00:31:42,468 --> 00:31:43,869
George!
732
00:31:43,869 --> 00:31:46,405
Baby!
733
00:31:46,405 --> 00:31:49,675
Electric trains,
electric typewriters...
734
00:31:49,675 --> 00:31:53,379
Willy, what kind of
idiotic sneak-thieves
are you fencing for?
735
00:31:53,379 --> 00:31:57,349
You are speaking to the new
official Purchasing Agent
736
00:31:57,349 --> 00:31:59,185
for the government of Sumeria.
737
00:31:59,185 --> 00:32:03,855
Uh, Willy, can we talk?
738
00:32:03,855 --> 00:32:06,458
Dearest, do me a favor...
739
00:32:06,458 --> 00:32:08,995
buzz off... and you.
740
00:32:08,995 --> 00:32:11,497
Hello, angel.
741
00:32:11,497 --> 00:32:12,664
George...
742
00:32:12,664 --> 00:32:14,433
Baby!
743
00:32:14,433 --> 00:32:15,467
Welcome home.
744
00:32:15,467 --> 00:32:18,237
Willy, don't be so cocky.
I need money.
745
00:32:18,237 --> 00:32:20,139
Well, it's
a small problem.
746
00:32:20,139 --> 00:32:22,908
25,000 pounds in cash.
747
00:32:22,908 --> 00:32:24,710
Now you really have a problem.
748
00:32:24,710 --> 00:32:26,012
No, no, Willy,
749
00:32:26,012 --> 00:32:28,114
you'd better say,
"We have a problem,"
750
00:32:28,114 --> 00:32:30,582
because you're going
to have to help me.
751
00:32:30,582 --> 00:32:32,018
Am I?
752
00:32:32,018 --> 00:32:33,419
Yeah.
753
00:32:33,419 --> 00:32:35,654
Remember Beirut?
754
00:32:35,654 --> 00:32:36,755
Chutney?
755
00:32:36,755 --> 00:32:38,624
Check, rubber, yours?
756
00:32:38,624 --> 00:32:39,658
Remember?
757
00:32:39,658 --> 00:32:40,926
25,000 pounds...
758
00:32:40,926 --> 00:32:43,262
A most amusing sum.
Why so much?
759
00:32:43,262 --> 00:32:45,297
Because I would like
to get my wife back,
760
00:32:45,297 --> 00:32:48,567
keep the Hong Kong Gardens,
and not go to prison.
761
00:32:48,567 --> 00:32:52,104
Well, I understand prison,
the Gardens,
762
00:32:52,104 --> 00:32:55,441
but you never go into business
to get your wife back.
763
00:32:55,441 --> 00:32:57,009
Willy, I'm not going
into a business
764
00:32:57,009 --> 00:32:57,976
to get my wife back.
765
00:32:57,976 --> 00:32:59,145
The truth of the matter
766
00:32:59,145 --> 00:33:00,612
is that my wife
is about to remarry.
767
00:33:00,612 --> 00:33:02,314
Now, when the minister
says to the congregation,
768
00:33:02,314 --> 00:33:03,649
"Does anyone object
to this marriage?"
769
00:33:03,649 --> 00:33:06,285
I know full well
they will never hear me object
770
00:33:06,285 --> 00:33:08,554
from inside
a prison cell.
771
00:33:08,554 --> 00:33:10,722
Right, but remember,
772
00:33:10,722 --> 00:33:14,260
I go into partnership
with you under protest.
773
00:33:14,260 --> 00:33:17,563
Well, let's examine the terrain.
774
00:33:17,563 --> 00:33:19,065
Let's see now,
775
00:33:19,065 --> 00:33:21,633
could you use 100,000 bales
of first
776
00:33:21,633 --> 00:33:23,335
Cash.
777
00:33:23,335 --> 00:33:26,738
Well, this telephone number
will put you in touch
778
00:33:26,738 --> 00:33:29,675
with one fifth of a small
Central American country
779
00:33:29,675 --> 00:33:31,043
that is ripe for revolution.
780
00:33:31,043 --> 00:33:32,010
Cash.
781
00:33:32,010 --> 00:33:33,345
Ah...
782
00:33:33,345 --> 00:33:35,614
Well, here's
a Liberian freighter
783
00:33:35,614 --> 00:33:37,749
that's available for sinking
in the Indian Ocean,
784
00:33:37,749 --> 00:33:40,452
a complete insurance loss.
785
00:33:40,452 --> 00:33:41,287
Cash.
786
00:33:41,287 --> 00:33:43,255
Cash, Willy, cash.
787
00:33:44,590 --> 00:33:47,726
Excuse me.
788
00:33:47,726 --> 00:33:50,429
Tibetan champagne?
789
00:33:50,429 --> 00:33:53,732
Cash.
Cash.
790
00:33:55,501 --> 00:33:58,204
I like you.
791
00:33:58,204 --> 00:33:59,238
What's all this?
792
00:33:59,238 --> 00:34:01,640
Sumerian Purchasing
Commission?
793
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:02,774
This is the place.
794
00:34:02,774 --> 00:34:04,676
Bring it in.
Carefully.
795
00:34:04,676 --> 00:34:07,413
Steady, chaps,
this isn't the Grand Prix.
796
00:34:07,413 --> 00:34:09,748
Put it over there.
That's the idea.
797
00:34:09,748 --> 00:34:11,083
That'll do fine,
fine, fine.
798
00:34:11,083 --> 00:34:12,251
Thank you
very much indeed.
799
00:34:12,251 --> 00:34:16,455
I shan't forget you.
Oh, excuse me.
800
00:34:16,455 --> 00:34:18,857
By jove, how lucky.
Superballs!
801
00:34:18,857 --> 00:34:20,326
One for you,
and one for you.
802
00:34:20,326 --> 00:34:22,027
Well, it might have
been hair nets...
803
00:34:22,027 --> 00:34:24,296
Goodbye.
Thank you so much.
804
00:34:24,296 --> 00:34:25,731
Well, what's this?
805
00:34:25,731 --> 00:34:27,599
"One Excalibur
Dental Chair,
806
00:34:27,599 --> 00:34:29,568
Plus Fittings."
807
00:34:29,568 --> 00:34:32,704
All this for the rotten teeth
of Sumeria.
808
00:34:32,704 --> 00:34:33,905
You know, a drill like that
809
00:34:33,905 --> 00:34:36,508
could split your teeth
right down to your knees.
810
00:34:37,676 --> 00:34:39,945
Oh, no offense intended.
811
00:34:39,945 --> 00:34:42,381
What should we say,
5000 pounds?
812
00:34:42,381 --> 00:34:44,950
No, 6000.
They'll never miss it.
813
00:34:44,950 --> 00:34:46,285
Lovely stuff,
this oil, George.
814
00:34:46,285 --> 00:34:48,320
It spurts
out of the Sumerian desert,
815
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:52,124
and showers me
with lovely, lovely cash.
816
00:34:52,124 --> 00:34:55,394
George... George.
Huh?
817
00:34:55,394 --> 00:34:57,229
I thought you wanted
to talk shop.
818
00:34:57,229 --> 00:34:59,398
Oh. I'm thinking shop.
819
00:34:59,398 --> 00:35:02,601
Nah. It's too wild.
820
00:35:02,601 --> 00:35:03,969
What?
821
00:35:03,969 --> 00:35:05,237
What, George?
822
00:35:05,237 --> 00:35:07,339
Your brain is ticking
like Big Ben.
823
00:35:07,339 --> 00:35:10,075
What's it all about,
Georgie?
824
00:35:10,075 --> 00:35:13,345
Oh, I was just imagining
the tears of gratitude
825
00:35:13,345 --> 00:35:15,814
coming from the old Sheikh's
bad eyes,
826
00:35:15,814 --> 00:35:18,417
if you were to turn over
some blueprints to him.
827
00:35:18,417 --> 00:35:22,288
Blueprints?
What a lovely word.
What blueprints?
828
00:35:22,288 --> 00:35:25,891
From the attaché case
of that creep, Dudley Heath,
829
00:35:25,891 --> 00:35:27,326
from Heath Petrol.
830
00:35:27,326 --> 00:35:30,128
It's some kind of a high speed
electronic drill,
831
00:35:30,128 --> 00:35:31,397
but no, it's too--
832
00:35:31,397 --> 00:35:33,098
Of course
it isn't too...
833
00:35:33,098 --> 00:35:34,933
Where are
these blueprints?
834
00:35:34,933 --> 00:35:38,036
He carries them around
like they're the crown jewels.
835
00:35:38,036 --> 00:35:39,371
Borrow them.
836
00:35:39,371 --> 00:35:42,908
You can get those blueprints,
Georgie, boy.
837
00:35:42,908 --> 00:35:44,343
Oh, no, no, no, no.
838
00:35:44,343 --> 00:35:46,011
I can get
into all kinds of trouble.
839
00:35:46,011 --> 00:35:47,779
I don't know
what I came here for
840
00:35:47,779 --> 00:35:48,880
in the first place.
841
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:51,250
You came here because
you need 25,000 pounds,
842
00:35:51,250 --> 00:35:54,753
and I am going to help you
help me get them for us,
843
00:35:54,753 --> 00:35:57,289
and thanks to those
very clever Japanese,
844
00:35:57,289 --> 00:35:58,624
when you see the blueprints
845
00:35:58,624 --> 00:36:00,559
you will be able
to capture that magic moment.
846
00:36:00,559 --> 00:36:05,130
There is some
poetic justice to this idea.
847
00:36:05,130 --> 00:36:07,266
Diddling Dudley
to get Pamela back.
848
00:36:07,266 --> 00:36:09,835
Well, now,
you've got everything
you want, partner.
849
00:36:09,835 --> 00:36:12,804
Oh, I do all the work,
and right away,
you're my partner?
850
00:36:12,804 --> 00:36:14,273
Ah, but who's going to prize
851
00:36:14,273 --> 00:36:16,174
50,000 pounds
out of the old Sheikh, eh?
852
00:36:16,174 --> 00:36:17,709
50,000 pounds?
853
00:36:17,709 --> 00:36:19,945
Oh, you're going to keep
the other 25,000 pounds.
854
00:36:19,945 --> 00:36:21,213
Well, who's quibbling?
855
00:36:21,213 --> 00:36:24,115
I mean, who needs
25,000 pounds, you or me?
856
00:36:24,115 --> 00:36:26,117
You are a thief.
857
00:36:26,117 --> 00:36:28,620
Oh, certainly,
but who needs the 25,000?
858
00:36:28,620 --> 00:36:31,690
Now look, I'll meet you
next Thursday, 10:00,
859
00:36:31,690 --> 00:36:33,292
at the Ritz Hotel
in Paris.
860
00:36:33,292 --> 00:36:35,694
Oh, I'm going to jail,
and you're going to Paris.
861
00:36:35,694 --> 00:36:37,463
Ah, but Georgie, it's business.
862
00:36:37,463 --> 00:36:40,299
You see, the Sumerian ministers
want me to pop over to Paris
863
00:36:40,299 --> 00:36:42,100
and buy a few gowns
for their wives.
864
00:36:42,100 --> 00:36:43,168
You know.
865
00:36:43,168 --> 00:36:44,903
Oh.
866
00:36:44,903 --> 00:36:46,137
But if you don't
want to come,
867
00:36:46,137 --> 00:36:48,039
just pop the negatives
in the mail.
868
00:36:48,039 --> 00:36:50,942
Oh, no, I'll deliver them
personally.
869
00:36:50,942 --> 00:36:52,244
Don't you trust the mails?
870
00:36:52,244 --> 00:36:53,479
The mails, I trust.
871
00:36:53,479 --> 00:36:54,480
It's you I'm worried about.
872
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:57,549
I've missed the ready wit.
873
00:36:57,549 --> 00:36:59,685
Oh, I'm sure I'm going
to regret this day.
874
00:36:59,685 --> 00:37:01,587
Take clear and
sharp pictures,
875
00:37:01,587 --> 00:37:04,222
and always stand with the sun
over your shoulder.
876
00:37:04,222 --> 00:37:07,759
How do you feel, Georgie,
working with me again?
877
00:37:07,759 --> 00:37:10,996
Condemned.
878
00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:14,733
Oh, dear.
879
00:37:14,733 --> 00:37:19,771
One mini-camera
to George Lester... 100 pounds.
880
00:37:19,771 --> 00:37:22,341
No, 150.
881
00:38:42,220 --> 00:38:44,390
Ow!
882
00:39:23,829 --> 00:39:26,331
...such a ridiculous situation
when you come to think of it.
883
00:39:26,331 --> 00:39:27,365
Come in, my sweet.
884
00:39:27,365 --> 00:39:28,867
I know that I
left my lighter
885
00:39:28,867 --> 00:39:30,068
here somewhere.
886
00:39:30,068 --> 00:39:32,270
Oh, this is just
the outer office, you know,
887
00:39:32,270 --> 00:39:35,641
where I slave over
a hot secretary all day.
888
00:39:39,110 --> 00:39:42,514
The lamp...
889
00:39:42,514 --> 00:39:43,982
Come, come, come,
my sweet.
890
00:39:43,982 --> 00:39:46,585
Come along in, my dove.
891
00:39:46,585 --> 00:39:49,020
This is my little
inner sanctum.
892
00:39:49,020 --> 00:39:53,324
Now I do know that
I left my lighter here
somewhere.
893
00:39:53,324 --> 00:39:55,427
Oh, yes, here it is.
894
00:39:55,427 --> 00:39:58,163
Don't go, my love.
I mean, after all...
895
00:39:58,163 --> 00:40:00,298
Grrr...
896
00:40:00,298 --> 00:40:03,769
It is, after all,
a celebration, isn't it?
897
00:40:03,769 --> 00:40:07,639
Grrr!
898
00:40:07,639 --> 00:40:10,008
...this beautiful gown
you're wearing.
899
00:40:13,178 --> 00:40:15,313
Brandy? Whoo!
900
00:40:15,313 --> 00:40:17,616
Courvoisier,
of course.
901
00:40:29,260 --> 00:40:31,229
There we are,
my sweet.
902
00:40:31,229 --> 00:40:33,031
Ooh!
903
00:40:45,310 --> 00:40:46,778
Cool it.
904
00:40:46,778 --> 00:40:48,313
You do like brandy,
don't you?
905
00:40:48,313 --> 00:40:49,447
Mm-hm.
906
00:40:49,447 --> 00:40:51,182
Have you seen
my prints over there?
907
00:40:51,182 --> 00:40:52,450
Oh, they're beautiful.
908
00:40:52,450 --> 00:40:55,921
The ladder, and...
909
00:40:57,055 --> 00:40:58,456
Ow!
910
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:03,094
To you.
911
00:41:03,094 --> 00:41:04,329
Oh, no.
912
00:41:04,329 --> 00:41:07,766
The old Spanish way.
913
00:41:14,506 --> 00:41:15,574
You're glorious.
914
00:41:15,574 --> 00:41:18,710
Uh, Dudley...
915
00:41:18,710 --> 00:41:20,345
No.
916
00:41:20,345 --> 00:41:21,580
You do realize,
don't you,
917
00:41:21,580 --> 00:41:27,218
that this could be
bigger than both of us?
918
00:41:31,122 --> 00:41:32,591
What's happening?
919
00:41:32,591 --> 00:41:33,892
It's water,
it's running.
920
00:41:33,892 --> 00:41:36,261
There's a leak.
Where's it coming from?
921
00:41:36,261 --> 00:41:37,295
Stop it!
922
00:41:37,295 --> 00:41:41,867
Where's it coming from?
923
00:41:41,867 --> 00:41:43,802
Rotten weather
we're having.
924
00:41:43,802 --> 00:41:45,837
Each year
is the same thing.
925
00:41:45,837 --> 00:41:46,705
I say...
926
00:41:46,705 --> 00:41:50,108
Good night, Guv.
927
00:41:51,042 --> 00:41:52,243
Oh!
928
00:42:12,931 --> 00:42:15,634
CHINESE ACCENT: Hello, so sorry,
Mr. Lester not home now.
929
00:42:15,634 --> 00:42:17,335
Oh, Miss Beatty.
930
00:42:17,335 --> 00:42:19,605
Hello, how are you
and all your little Girl Guides?
931
00:42:19,605 --> 00:42:20,872
Well, as a matter of fact,
932
00:42:20,872 --> 00:42:22,373
that's just
what I'm ringing you about.
933
00:42:22,373 --> 00:42:25,977
I mean, well, actually,
it's rather naughty of us,
934
00:42:25,977 --> 00:42:28,146
especially after
you've been so helpful.
935
00:42:28,146 --> 00:42:30,816
You see, the doctor's
just been in here,
936
00:42:30,816 --> 00:42:32,851
and the whole of my troop's
in trouble.
937
00:42:32,851 --> 00:42:35,020
All of them
938
00:42:35,020 --> 00:42:37,856
Mm-hm, and I'm afraid
you've been exposed as well.
939
00:42:37,856 --> 00:42:39,290
I did want to warn you.
940
00:42:40,959 --> 00:42:42,327
The mumps?
941
00:42:42,327 --> 00:42:43,461
Well--
942
00:42:43,461 --> 00:42:45,030
Well, that's for children.
943
00:42:45,030 --> 00:42:46,197
I'm an adult.
944
00:42:46,197 --> 00:42:47,398
Adults--
945
00:42:47,398 --> 00:42:49,434
Mumps...
946
00:42:49,434 --> 00:42:51,703
Do be careful.
947
00:42:51,703 --> 00:42:53,171
Now, then.
948
00:42:53,171 --> 00:42:57,609
You great silly nits.
949
00:42:57,609 --> 00:42:58,910
You see what
you've gone and done?
950
00:42:58,910 --> 00:43:01,913
You're all worse
than Typhoid Mary.
951
00:43:14,693 --> 00:43:16,361
ANNOUNCER:
This is the final call
952
00:43:16,361 --> 00:43:22,834
for British European Airways
Flight 507 to Paris.
953
00:43:22,834 --> 00:43:24,636
Will passengers please proceed
954
00:43:24,636 --> 00:43:26,872
to the departure lounge
immediately?
955
00:43:26,872 --> 00:43:30,575
Have all passports
and boarding passes ready.
956
00:43:30,575 --> 00:43:33,178
Thank you.
957
00:43:52,063 --> 00:43:53,464
Excuse me,
hold it, hold it.
958
00:43:53,464 --> 00:43:54,499
Hello, Homer here.
959
00:43:54,499 --> 00:43:56,301
George!
960
00:43:56,301 --> 00:43:57,602
Georgie, baby, how are you?
961
00:43:57,602 --> 00:44:00,005
You've got what?
962
00:44:00,005 --> 00:44:03,041
I've got a
punctured eardrum.
963
00:44:03,041 --> 00:44:05,310
What's with the phone?
Hello, Willy?
964
00:44:05,310 --> 00:44:07,713
Willy, this is
no time for kibitzing.
965
00:44:07,713 --> 00:44:09,080
Hang on, George.
966
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:10,782
Willy, I'm trying
to talk to you. Will you--
967
00:44:10,782 --> 00:44:13,151
Hello?
Operator?
968
00:44:13,151 --> 00:44:14,185
Willy!
969
00:44:14,185 --> 00:44:15,186
George...
970
00:44:15,186 --> 00:44:16,021
Willy...
971
00:44:16,021 --> 00:44:17,522
George, how childish of you.
972
00:44:17,522 --> 00:44:19,490
I mean, in this age
of wonder drugs,
973
00:44:19,490 --> 00:44:21,927
how can a grown man get mumps?
974
00:44:21,927 --> 00:44:24,662
Willy, will you
listen to me,
please, Willy!
975
00:44:24,662 --> 00:44:25,964
Don't get excited.
976
00:44:25,964 --> 00:44:27,833
H. William is on the bridge,
in control.
977
00:44:27,833 --> 00:44:31,502
Now, look, I will send
for the merchandise.
978
00:44:31,502 --> 00:44:34,706
How? Ah...
979
00:44:34,706 --> 00:44:39,110
just relax, leave it to me.
980
00:44:57,462 --> 00:44:58,529
I'm here.
981
00:44:58,529 --> 00:44:59,530
Who?
982
00:44:59,530 --> 00:45:00,598
Shh.
983
00:45:00,598 --> 00:45:01,699
It's only me.
984
00:45:01,699 --> 00:45:02,734
Who's me?
985
00:45:02,734 --> 00:45:04,535
Fern Averback, lover.
986
00:45:04,535 --> 00:45:06,571
How'd you get here?
987
00:45:06,571 --> 00:45:08,039
Air France.
988
00:45:08,039 --> 00:45:10,575
Oh, yeah?
You'd better stay away.
989
00:45:10,575 --> 00:45:11,843
You'll catch the mumps.
990
00:45:11,843 --> 00:45:13,311
I've had the mumps.
991
00:45:13,311 --> 00:45:15,346
You're supposed to have
something for me.
992
00:45:15,346 --> 00:45:17,448
I am?
993
00:45:17,448 --> 00:45:18,583
Can I please have it?
994
00:45:18,583 --> 00:45:20,018
Willy said
that you had--
995
00:45:20,018 --> 00:45:22,120
Oh, no, no, you're supposed
to have something for me.
996
00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:23,721
Of course.
997
00:45:23,721 --> 00:45:25,190
No, not that.
998
00:45:25,190 --> 00:45:26,457
The money.
999
00:45:26,457 --> 00:45:28,359
What money, angel?
1000
00:45:28,359 --> 00:45:29,961
Look, miss,
I don't mean to be inhospitable,
1001
00:45:29,961 --> 00:45:32,330
but I think you should
get right back to Paris
1002
00:45:32,330 --> 00:45:35,200
and tell Willy I said,
"No tickee, no washee."
1003
00:45:35,200 --> 00:45:37,135
Do I have to go back right away?
1004
00:45:37,135 --> 00:45:40,038
Yes, you do.
1005
00:45:40,038 --> 00:45:41,039
Why?
1006
00:45:41,039 --> 00:45:44,575
Because one of my mumps
just exploded.
1007
00:45:44,575 --> 00:45:46,611
GEORGE:
...Miss Averback...
1008
00:45:46,611 --> 00:45:47,813
I don't know what
I prefer most,
1009
00:45:47,813 --> 00:45:48,780
the contents
or the wrappings.
1010
00:45:48,780 --> 00:45:49,915
Hello, Willy...
1011
00:45:49,915 --> 00:45:51,049
What's that, Georgie?
1012
00:45:51,049 --> 00:45:52,818
I said, did you really believe
1013
00:45:52,818 --> 00:45:54,452
I would fall
for that tired old bit
1014
00:45:54,452 --> 00:45:55,686
with your Miss Fern?
1015
00:45:55,686 --> 00:45:57,455
Now come on, Willy,
where's the money?
1016
00:45:57,455 --> 00:45:58,489
Where's the merchandise?
1017
00:45:58,489 --> 00:45:59,590
I got it.
1018
00:45:59,590 --> 00:46:01,927
You're lovely, my sweet.
1019
00:46:01,927 --> 00:46:04,129
I'm lovely?
I'm desperate!
1020
00:46:04,129 --> 00:46:05,663
Tell you what, Georgie-boy...
1021
00:46:05,663 --> 00:46:07,833
pop the merchandise in the mail.
1022
00:46:07,833 --> 00:46:10,568
Willy, I got a better idea.
Let's change hats.
1023
00:46:10,568 --> 00:46:14,072
You be Mohammed,
come to my mountain,
bring the check.
1024
00:46:14,072 --> 00:46:16,241
Impossible.
Look, my people
1025
00:46:16,241 --> 00:46:18,676
will have to inspect
the merchandise first,
1026
00:46:18,676 --> 00:46:19,845
so give us a look,
1027
00:46:19,845 --> 00:46:21,779
we'll okay it,
and send you the money.
1028
00:46:21,779 --> 00:46:23,381
How does that sound?
1029
00:46:23,381 --> 00:46:24,449
What a nightmare.
1030
00:46:24,449 --> 00:46:26,551
How does a thing like this
happen to me?
1031
00:46:26,551 --> 00:46:28,486
It seems to have
something to do
1032
00:46:28,486 --> 00:46:30,021
with winning
your wife back.
1033
00:46:30,021 --> 00:46:32,924
Look, just drop the merchandise
in the post
1034
00:46:32,924 --> 00:46:34,425
and go back to sleep.
1035
00:46:34,425 --> 00:46:36,527
No, thanks!
1036
00:46:36,527 --> 00:46:39,330
George?
1037
00:46:41,032 --> 00:46:43,568
I brought your car back.
It's all tuned up.
1038
00:46:43,568 --> 00:46:47,438
Not that you'll
be needing it
for the next few days, eh?
1039
00:46:47,438 --> 00:46:48,773
Thanks a lot.
1040
00:46:48,773 --> 00:46:49,841
Well, I'm off to Lisbon.
1041
00:46:49,841 --> 00:46:51,476
Fly well.
1042
00:46:51,476 --> 00:46:53,444
Fred!
What?
1043
00:46:53,444 --> 00:46:54,445
Uh, I just remembered,
1044
00:46:54,445 --> 00:46:56,114
did I ever tell you
about my great uncle
1045
00:46:56,114 --> 00:46:58,516
that lives in Paris?
A very, very sweet man.
1046
00:46:58,516 --> 00:47:00,751
Almost 80.
A little over-sexed,
1047
00:47:00,751 --> 00:47:02,453
but I guess everybody
needs a hobby.
1048
00:47:02,453 --> 00:47:04,923
Well, let me tell you
why I brought it up, Fred.
1049
00:47:04,923 --> 00:47:06,324
You see, it's his birthday,
1050
00:47:06,324 --> 00:47:07,692
and I thought possibly,
instead of flying to Lisbon,
1051
00:47:07,692 --> 00:47:08,826
you might go to Paris
1052
00:47:08,826 --> 00:47:09,827
and deliver
my present for him.
1053
00:47:09,827 --> 00:47:10,728
I'd go myself,
1054
00:47:10,728 --> 00:47:11,829
but I'm awfully mumpy.
1055
00:47:11,829 --> 00:47:13,098
Well, it's not
too contagious.
1056
00:47:13,098 --> 00:47:14,599
Oh, sure.
Oh, sure?
1057
00:47:14,599 --> 00:47:15,833
What does that mean?
1058
00:47:15,833 --> 00:47:16,902
Delivering presents
to your grand-uncle.
1059
00:47:16,902 --> 00:47:18,069
What's in it?
1060
00:47:18,069 --> 00:47:19,570
Pound notes you're
trying to smuggle in?
1061
00:47:19,570 --> 00:47:20,805
Out!
1062
00:47:20,805 --> 00:47:22,240
And that's a terrible
assumption, Fred.
1063
00:47:22,240 --> 00:47:23,942
It's just, uh, no,
it's Playboy magazine,
1064
00:47:23,942 --> 00:47:27,212
that's all it is,
for a dear, sweet,
1065
00:47:27,212 --> 00:47:28,746
dear, sweet, bed-ridden
old gentlemen, that's all,
1066
00:47:28,746 --> 00:47:30,148
and I thought
while you were there,
1067
00:47:30,148 --> 00:47:31,849
you might bring back
the gift he had for me.
1068
00:47:31,849 --> 00:47:34,719
I'm sorry,
British Regal Airlines
1069
00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:36,021
doesn't make trips
to Paris,
1070
00:47:36,021 --> 00:47:37,488
at least, not unless
we have a customer
1071
00:47:37,488 --> 00:47:38,389
who wants to go there.
1072
00:47:38,389 --> 00:47:39,757
We're flying to Lisbon
all this week.
1073
00:47:39,757 --> 00:47:41,292
Well, I certainly
wouldn't ask you
1074
00:47:41,292 --> 00:47:42,860
if you weren't
my friend, I say--
1075
00:47:42,860 --> 00:47:45,530
Fred, wait a minute!
Let me explain!
1076
00:47:45,530 --> 00:47:48,099
Fred, what about
Uncle Willy and the present?
1077
00:47:48,099 --> 00:47:51,602
Drop it in the mail.
1078
00:47:51,602 --> 00:47:52,938
Fly to Paris...
1079
00:47:52,938 --> 00:47:54,339
Take a present to his uncle...
1080
00:47:54,339 --> 00:47:55,340
Huh!
1081
00:47:55,340 --> 00:47:57,675
His uncle's an 80-year old
sex maniac.
1082
00:47:57,675 --> 00:48:00,011
Pictures tonight, Fred
1083
00:48:08,153 --> 00:48:11,822
Fly to Paris?
What a cheek.
1084
00:48:11,822 --> 00:48:13,058
Never heard anything like it.
1085
00:48:13,058 --> 00:48:14,325
What is that?
1086
00:48:14,325 --> 00:48:16,327
Well, the girls in my
troop recommended it.
1087
00:48:16,327 --> 00:48:18,829
They're terribly
contrite, poor dears.
1088
00:48:18,829 --> 00:48:20,999
It's right out
of the First Aid Manual.
1089
00:48:20,999 --> 00:48:23,434
Willow wort paste.
Now you come
back into bed...
1090
00:48:23,434 --> 00:48:24,535
Well, uh--
1091
00:48:24,535 --> 00:48:25,870
Remove your pajama top,
1092
00:48:25,870 --> 00:48:27,538
and smear this all
over your chest,
1093
00:48:27,538 --> 00:48:28,806
and then stand over
the central heating duct
1094
00:48:28,806 --> 00:48:29,874
and inhale.
1095
00:48:29,874 --> 00:48:33,211
Come on, my little beauty.
1096
00:48:34,812 --> 00:48:37,148
A little massage.
Yes, here we go.
1097
00:48:37,148 --> 00:48:38,416
Oh, that's marvelous.
1098
00:48:38,416 --> 00:48:39,484
Spot of trouble?
1099
00:48:39,484 --> 00:48:41,386
Oh, boy, mumps.
1100
00:48:41,386 --> 00:48:42,520
Perfect timing.
1101
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:43,921
So we gave you
the mumps.
1102
00:48:43,921 --> 00:48:45,991
Is that any reason
for showing the white feather?
1103
00:48:45,991 --> 00:48:47,658
I mean, where would
Alec Guinness have ended up
1104
00:48:47,658 --> 00:48:50,928
if he'd shown your attitude
in Bridge on the River Kwai?
1105
00:48:50,928 --> 00:48:54,132
Anyway, you smear your chest
with this paste,
1106
00:48:54,132 --> 00:48:56,968
and you'll feel
much better tomorrow.
1107
00:48:56,968 --> 00:48:59,170
I say, you really
shouldn't leave
your upper set
1108
00:48:59,170 --> 00:49:00,838
lying around
on the carpet.
1109
00:49:00,838 --> 00:49:03,541
My upper set, that's terrific.
1110
00:49:08,846 --> 00:49:11,016
I say!
1111
00:49:14,952 --> 00:49:17,355
I say, a bit of a smash.
1112
00:49:17,355 --> 00:49:21,026
It's Fred Davies!
Fred, are you all right?
1113
00:49:21,026 --> 00:49:23,694
I think I broke my tooth.
1114
00:49:23,694 --> 00:49:24,929
Don't move!
1115
00:49:24,929 --> 00:49:28,033
I'm coming right down
to give you first aid.
1116
00:49:28,033 --> 00:49:31,269
You clod! Look at what you did
to my wife's wall.
1117
00:49:31,269 --> 00:49:33,004
Ruined!
1118
00:49:33,004 --> 00:49:34,172
Look, I'm supposed
to fly to Lisbon
1119
00:49:34,172 --> 00:49:35,373
the day after tomorrow.
1120
00:49:35,373 --> 00:49:38,276
Who wants a toothless steward?
1121
00:49:38,276 --> 00:49:39,877
Lisbon?
1122
00:49:39,877 --> 00:49:44,482
Lisbon!
1123
00:49:44,482 --> 00:49:45,883
Hang on, Fred.
1124
00:49:45,883 --> 00:49:48,753
First aid kit's
in the car.
1125
00:49:57,462 --> 00:50:00,465
Fred, I can't tell you
how terrible I feel.
Don't say a word.
1126
00:50:00,465 --> 00:50:03,868
To have a thing like this
happen to one of my chums,
it's just awful.
1127
00:50:03,868 --> 00:50:05,136
It hurts me
right here.
1128
00:50:05,136 --> 00:50:06,304
It hurts me
right here.
1129
00:50:06,304 --> 00:50:07,905
Fred, have you
ever had the mumps?
1130
00:50:07,905 --> 00:50:09,340
Yeah, I had mumps
when I was two.
1131
00:50:09,340 --> 00:50:12,077
Oh, good. You know,
this was completely my fault.
1132
00:50:12,077 --> 00:50:13,511
You admit it?
1133
00:50:13,511 --> 00:50:16,081
Well, you ran into
the wall, correct?
1134
00:50:16,081 --> 00:50:17,782
If the wall wasn't there
in the first place,
1135
00:50:17,782 --> 00:50:18,783
it wouldn't have happened.
1136
00:50:18,783 --> 00:50:20,051
I will not sleep a wink
1137
00:50:20,051 --> 00:50:22,120
until you get
what's coming to you.
1138
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:23,254
And what's coming to me?
1139
00:50:23,254 --> 00:50:24,922
Well, I'm heavily
insured, Fred.
1140
00:50:24,922 --> 00:50:26,291
You'll get a brand new cycle,
1141
00:50:26,291 --> 00:50:28,059
brand new set of clothes,
and open your mouth.
1142
00:50:28,059 --> 00:50:29,494
Just what I thought.
1143
00:50:29,494 --> 00:50:31,662
You have to have
a new mouth put in.
1144
00:50:31,662 --> 00:50:32,463
Is that legal?
1145
00:50:32,463 --> 00:50:34,299
Luv, for the premiums I pay,
1146
00:50:34,299 --> 00:50:36,901
you and I are not going
to worry about technicalities.
1147
00:50:36,901 --> 00:50:42,073
Oh, come on, I'll take you home
for medical attention.
1148
00:50:42,073 --> 00:50:43,374
Excuse me just a moment.
1149
00:50:43,374 --> 00:50:45,610
Fred, tomorrow,
you're going to see my dentist.
1150
00:50:45,610 --> 00:50:46,811
You hit the jackpot.
1151
00:50:46,811 --> 00:50:49,114
What ever you do, don't say
a word to anybody, dig?
1152
00:50:49,114 --> 00:50:50,315
I dig.
1153
00:50:50,315 --> 00:50:52,917
Yeah, you take him
home for medication.
1154
00:50:52,917 --> 00:50:55,386
Just put yourself
in my hands.
1155
00:50:55,386 --> 00:50:59,657
Leave everything to me.
Oops. Oh, Fred...
1156
00:50:59,657 --> 00:51:03,128
Oh, Fred!
1157
00:51:11,669 --> 00:51:13,171
There.
1158
00:51:13,171 --> 00:51:14,472
A piping hot poultice,
1159
00:51:14,472 --> 00:51:17,842
that should do the trick!
1160
00:51:17,842 --> 00:51:19,977
The trick's already done...
1161
00:51:19,977 --> 00:51:21,379
I hope.
1162
00:52:09,427 --> 00:52:11,762
You sound sick, George.
1163
00:52:11,762 --> 00:52:12,763
Oh, nurse,
1164
00:52:12,763 --> 00:52:15,300
I'd like you to meet
the little woman.
1165
00:52:15,300 --> 00:52:17,435
I only came
to pick up an evening gown.
1166
00:52:17,435 --> 00:52:18,703
I have a date tonight.
1167
00:52:18,703 --> 00:52:21,206
Oh, tell me,
have you figured out yet
1168
00:52:21,206 --> 00:52:22,373
how to pay the bills?
1169
00:52:22,373 --> 00:52:24,242
Pamela,
don't come near me.
1170
00:52:24,242 --> 00:52:25,310
Don't come closer.
1171
00:52:25,310 --> 00:52:27,912
It's infectious. Mumps.
1172
00:52:27,912 --> 00:52:30,248
George, you blew it again.
1173
00:52:30,248 --> 00:52:31,816
I've had mumps.
1174
00:52:31,816 --> 00:52:33,318
Pamela!
1175
00:52:41,326 --> 00:52:44,962
Hello! Get me Dudley Heath's
office, please.
1176
00:52:44,962 --> 00:52:46,797
Yes, sir.
1177
00:52:46,797 --> 00:52:49,800
GERMAN ACCENT:
Hello?
1178
00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:51,502
Herr Heath in, please.
1179
00:52:51,502 --> 00:52:53,904
Just one moment,
and I'll put you through, sir.
1180
00:52:55,306 --> 00:52:56,374
Hello, Herr Heath.
1181
00:52:56,374 --> 00:52:59,644
Uh, this is
Dudley Heath speaking.
1182
00:52:59,644 --> 00:53:01,212
This is Krupp.
1183
00:53:01,212 --> 00:53:02,280
Uh, Krupp.
1184
00:53:02,280 --> 00:53:04,014
K-R-U-up, Krupp.
1185
00:53:04,014 --> 00:53:07,352
How do you do, Herr Krupp?
1186
00:53:07,352 --> 00:53:10,321
I will be in your London now
for 24 hours,
1187
00:53:10,321 --> 00:53:12,823
and I hear through
the underground, Herr Heath,
1188
00:53:12,823 --> 00:53:16,894
that you are working
on some special working papers,
1189
00:53:16,894 --> 00:53:18,329
diagrams, plans.
1190
00:53:18,329 --> 00:53:19,964
Uh, did you say plans?
1191
00:53:19,964 --> 00:53:22,400
It is equally important
that you and I get together
1192
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:23,668
for a chit-chat.
1193
00:53:23,668 --> 00:53:24,402
A chat.
1194
00:53:24,402 --> 00:53:25,936
Chit-chat,
talking.
1195
00:53:25,936 --> 00:53:26,971
Chitting-chatting.
1196
00:53:26,971 --> 00:53:27,972
A chat, a chat!
1197
00:53:27,972 --> 00:53:29,106
Oh, uh, yes, yes.
1198
00:53:29,106 --> 00:53:30,241
Comprende, understand.
1199
00:53:30,241 --> 00:53:31,876
You will come
to my hotel tonight.
1200
00:53:31,876 --> 00:53:34,645
The Hilton, where else?
There's no boarding rooms.
1201
00:53:34,645 --> 00:53:37,682
But I have a dinner engagement.
1202
00:53:37,682 --> 00:53:41,352
Forget the dinner date.
Heath, Krupp is talking.
1203
00:53:41,352 --> 00:53:43,254
Same K-R-U-up.
1204
00:53:43,254 --> 00:53:46,023
You be there
when I give instructions.
1205
00:53:46,023 --> 00:53:47,725
No one ignores Krupp
1206
00:53:47,725 --> 00:53:49,960
when Krupp Krupps.
1207
00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:53,163
Now, I'll give you
the address. Got a pencil?
1208
00:53:53,163 --> 00:53:54,565
Yes, just a moment, please.
1209
00:53:54,565 --> 00:53:59,036
The room is 1420.
One, four, two, with a--
1210
00:53:59,036 --> 00:54:00,338
Look on the door.
1211
00:54:00,338 --> 00:54:02,340
Zwanzig, at 9:30.
1212
00:54:02,340 --> 00:54:04,742
If you're late, woo-hoo-hoo...
1213
00:54:04,742 --> 00:54:06,277
Auf Wiedersehen.
1214
00:54:06,277 --> 00:54:07,845
Right.
1215
00:54:12,216 --> 00:54:14,452
Hello
1216
00:54:14,452 --> 00:54:16,787
Get me Dr. Spink, right away.
1217
00:54:16,787 --> 00:54:19,023
Yes, sir.
1218
00:54:20,190 --> 00:54:21,225
Probe.
1219
00:54:21,225 --> 00:54:24,929
Probe.
1220
00:54:24,929 --> 00:54:25,930
Pick.
1221
00:54:25,930 --> 00:54:29,066
Pick.
1222
00:54:29,066 --> 00:54:30,100
Sponge.
1223
00:54:30,100 --> 00:54:31,836
Ooh!
1224
00:54:36,874 --> 00:54:38,676
I'll get it.
1225
00:54:38,676 --> 00:54:41,178
Ah-ha. Now we're beginning
to see daylight...
1226
00:54:41,178 --> 00:54:42,146
Hello?
1227
00:54:42,146 --> 00:54:44,181
As well as some nasty decay.
1228
00:54:44,181 --> 00:54:46,116
It's Mr. Lester,
1229
00:54:46,116 --> 00:54:48,252
from that Hong Kong
whatever-it-is.
1230
00:54:48,252 --> 00:54:49,954
You know, that new place
out in the country.
1231
00:54:49,954 --> 00:54:52,590
Yes, I have heard of it.
What's he want?
1232
00:54:52,590 --> 00:54:55,860
He wants you to drop by tomorrow
for tea at about 5:00,
1233
00:54:55,860 --> 00:54:57,227
as his guest.
1234
00:54:57,227 --> 00:54:58,295
Tell him I'll try.
1235
00:54:58,295 --> 00:54:59,997
He says it's
very important.
1236
00:54:59,997 --> 00:55:01,065
I'm busy.
1237
00:55:01,065 --> 00:55:03,000
He says you'd better make it.
1238
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:04,635
All right, all right.
1239
00:55:04,635 --> 00:55:07,505
Now I really must concentrate
on this rot.
1240
00:55:07,505 --> 00:55:09,374
Hold still, will you?
1241
00:55:24,422 --> 00:55:27,392
Well, how do you do?
Herr Krupp?
1242
00:55:32,530 --> 00:55:34,532
Tinkering
with a man's occlusion?
1243
00:55:34,532 --> 00:55:36,834
I never would be party
to such chicanery.
1244
00:55:36,834 --> 00:55:40,137
Oh, come on, Spink,
knock off the
Dr. Kildare routine.
1245
00:55:40,137 --> 00:55:43,173
All I want you to do
is to take the inlays
from Weiner here,
1246
00:55:43,173 --> 00:55:45,610
insert them in
Fred Davies' mouth,
1247
00:55:45,610 --> 00:55:48,746
give him an injection
timed so that when
he arrives in Lisbon,
1248
00:55:48,746 --> 00:55:51,181
he's in pain,
he has to dash off
to another dentist,
1249
00:55:51,181 --> 00:55:52,216
and finished.
1250
00:55:52,216 --> 00:55:53,851
The finish
of my dental career.
1251
00:55:53,851 --> 00:55:56,387
Six Eyes, can you get
all the page one of the plans
1252
00:55:56,387 --> 00:55:57,588
on the top
of the inlay?
1253
00:55:57,588 --> 00:55:59,624
Who was it who did
1254
00:55:59,624 --> 00:56:01,659
your Lincoln's entire
Gettysburg Address
on a shirt stud?
1255
00:56:01,659 --> 00:56:03,461
Oh, yeah, that's right.
I'm sorry about that.
1256
00:56:03,461 --> 00:56:04,695
I forgot.
1257
00:56:04,695 --> 00:56:05,863
And you'll get the inlay
1258
00:56:05,863 --> 00:56:07,131
back to Spink's office,
tomorrow, p.m.
1259
00:56:07,131 --> 00:56:08,699
It's a squeeze,
but I'll manage.
1260
00:56:08,699 --> 00:56:11,068
Well, I can't.
It's too risky.
1261
00:56:11,068 --> 00:56:13,904
Oh, come on, Spink.
Or is it Chaucer again?
1262
00:56:13,904 --> 00:56:16,507
It wasn't too risky
when you chose
to work overtime,
1263
00:56:16,507 --> 00:56:17,708
I believe it was
May the 12th?
1264
00:56:17,708 --> 00:56:19,610
When you spent
the entire night here
1265
00:56:19,610 --> 00:56:21,779
in the Great Wall
of China Suite.
1266
00:56:21,779 --> 00:56:23,981
I'm sure that your wife
would be delighted to know
1267
00:56:23,981 --> 00:56:27,084
that you had a nurse
in constant attendance.
1268
00:56:28,886 --> 00:56:30,555
Swine.
1269
00:56:30,555 --> 00:56:32,757
An absolute
desperate swine.
1270
00:56:32,757 --> 00:56:34,959
You'll shape the inlay,
give it to Six Eyes here,
1271
00:56:34,959 --> 00:56:36,727
he'll engrave it,
get it back to you.
1272
00:56:36,727 --> 00:56:39,997
In goes page one into Fred's
mouth, off goes Fred.
1273
00:56:39,997 --> 00:56:40,998
Send me the bill.
1274
00:56:40,998 --> 00:56:43,267
And if anyone blabs,
I'm in the soup.
1275
00:56:43,267 --> 00:56:44,635
Who's going to blab?
1276
00:56:44,635 --> 00:56:45,970
Who would take my word
1277
00:56:45,970 --> 00:56:48,105
against that
of a reputable dentist?
1278
00:56:49,039 --> 00:56:50,207
Gentlemen.
1279
00:56:50,207 --> 00:56:51,476
George...
1280
00:56:51,476 --> 00:56:53,043
have you ever looked
at Stilton cheese
1281
00:56:53,043 --> 00:56:54,812
through my glasses?
1282
00:56:57,147 --> 00:56:58,382
Lisbon, George?
1283
00:56:58,382 --> 00:56:59,917
That's it.
1284
00:56:59,917 --> 00:57:03,187
Now, the plans will be arriving
the day after tomorrow,
1285
00:57:03,187 --> 00:57:04,589
by mouth.
1286
00:57:04,589 --> 00:57:06,924
It sounds as though
you said "by mouth."
1287
00:57:06,924 --> 00:57:09,627
Must be a lousy connection.
Operator!
1288
00:57:09,627 --> 00:57:11,496
I did say "by mouth."
1289
00:57:11,496 --> 00:57:12,797
Now, when they arrive,
1290
00:57:12,797 --> 00:57:15,633
I want you to send me a check,
certified,
1291
00:57:15,633 --> 00:57:18,402
and returned to me
by the same messenger.
1292
00:57:18,402 --> 00:57:19,970
How are they
going to be examined?
1293
00:57:19,970 --> 00:57:22,607
They'll be examined
while the messenger
1294
00:57:22,607 --> 00:57:24,108
is under sedation.
1295
00:57:24,108 --> 00:57:27,678
Now, here's what you have
to locate for me.
1296
00:57:27,678 --> 00:57:29,847
Why is the messenger
under sedation?
1297
00:57:29,847 --> 00:57:33,851
Because the plans
are on his teeth.
1298
00:57:33,851 --> 00:57:37,221
George, you've obviously taken
a turn for the worse.
1299
00:57:37,221 --> 00:57:41,158
Willy, please listen to me.
I want you to drop everything
1300
00:57:41,158 --> 00:57:46,396
and locate for me an expert
crooked Portuguese dentist.
1301
00:57:46,396 --> 00:57:48,198
Something is wrong
with the connection.
1302
00:57:48,198 --> 00:57:52,369
I could swear you said
"an expert crooked
Portuguese dentist."
1303
00:57:52,369 --> 00:57:54,672
Willy, will you please
pay attention?
1304
00:57:54,672 --> 00:57:56,607
When you've examined the teeth,
1305
00:57:56,607 --> 00:57:58,442
I want you
to take a picture of them,
1306
00:57:58,442 --> 00:58:00,611
and then stuff the check
in the man's hat.
1307
00:58:00,611 --> 00:58:02,913
All this
is making me very dizzy.
1308
00:58:02,913 --> 00:58:04,248
Willy,
1309
00:58:04,248 --> 00:58:05,616
just get busy,
1310
00:58:05,616 --> 00:58:09,019
and locate an expert
crooked Portuguese dentist.
1311
00:58:09,019 --> 00:58:10,955
Georgie,
I can get you an expert,
1312
00:58:10,955 --> 00:58:13,290
I can probably get you
a crooked Portuguese,
1313
00:58:13,290 --> 00:58:14,725
I'm sure I can get you
a dentist,
1314
00:58:14,725 --> 00:58:17,394
but an expert
crooked Portuguese dentist,
1315
00:58:17,394 --> 00:58:20,931
well, obviously they don't
grow on trees, Georgie, baby.
1316
00:58:20,931 --> 00:58:23,500
Neither does my merchandise,
baby.
1317
00:58:23,500 --> 00:58:25,135
This is going to cost, baby.
1318
00:58:25,135 --> 00:58:27,638
Why should this
be any different, baby?
1319
00:58:27,638 --> 00:58:32,142
The things that happen
when you try to do favors
for a friend...
1320
00:58:32,142 --> 00:58:33,510
Butcher.
1321
00:58:44,421 --> 00:58:46,523
There.
1322
00:58:46,523 --> 00:58:47,792
Done.
1323
00:58:47,792 --> 00:58:48,893
Time to get up, Davies.
1324
00:58:48,893 --> 00:58:50,327
Coming in for an
emergency landing.
1325
00:58:50,327 --> 00:58:51,495
Get your seatbelts on.
1326
00:58:51,495 --> 00:58:53,497
Upsy-daisy.
1327
00:58:53,497 --> 00:58:56,333
Where
You've been at my teeth.
1328
00:58:56,333 --> 00:58:57,968
That's what
we're here for.
1329
00:58:57,968 --> 00:58:58,903
Oh.
1330
00:58:58,903 --> 00:59:00,871
Now then, you're off
to Lisbon, right?
1331
00:59:00,871 --> 00:59:02,139
Yeah, 4:00 sharp, yes.
1332
00:59:02,139 --> 00:59:03,874
Now, should you get
a reaction of any kind,
1333
00:59:03,874 --> 00:59:05,743
I'll give you the name
of a dentist in Lisbon.
1334
00:59:05,743 --> 00:59:06,877
Miss B.,
where's that card?
1335
00:59:06,877 --> 00:59:08,212
But I'll only be there
overnight.
1336
00:59:08,212 --> 00:59:10,280
An ounce of prevention, eh?
There we are.
1337
00:59:10,280 --> 00:59:11,415
"Doctor Jerzy Pinto,
1338
00:59:11,415 --> 00:59:13,517
34 Calle Ruiz,
second floor rear,"
1339
00:59:13,517 --> 00:59:14,551
and he's a good man.
1340
00:59:14,551 --> 00:59:15,853
Well, I don't think
1341
00:59:15,853 --> 00:59:17,121
I'll need a dentist
in Lisbon, thank you.
1342
00:59:17,121 --> 00:59:18,088
Take the damned card.
1343
00:59:18,088 --> 00:59:19,757
My patients mean
a great deal to me,
1344
00:59:19,757 --> 00:59:21,792
and I shall see you
the day after tomorrow.
1345
00:59:21,792 --> 00:59:24,895
Yeah, well, thank you,
doctor and nurse.
1346
00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:32,169
Poor Manfred.
1347
00:59:32,169 --> 00:59:34,939
That injection should begin
to take effect
1348
00:59:34,939 --> 00:59:36,841
just as he's approaching Lisbon.
1349
00:59:36,841 --> 00:59:38,976
Shall I rub away
your headache for you?
1350
00:59:38,976 --> 00:59:40,410
Oh...
1351
00:59:40,410 --> 00:59:41,812
Mm...
1352
00:59:41,812 --> 00:59:43,047
No!
1353
00:59:43,047 --> 00:59:45,783
That's how I got into this
in the first place.
1354
00:59:56,293 --> 00:59:58,495
This is your captain speaking.
1355
00:59:58,495 --> 00:59:59,797
British Regal Airline
1356
00:59:59,797 --> 01:00:01,598
welcomes you
aboard their airplane.
1357
01:00:01,598 --> 01:00:03,868
Your cabin steward,
Fred Davies,
1358
01:00:03,868 --> 01:00:08,673
will be serving
refreshments shortly.
1359
01:01:20,711 --> 01:01:22,046
Ladies and gentlemen,
1360
01:01:22,046 --> 01:01:24,014
we are approaching
Lisbon Airport.
1361
01:01:24,014 --> 01:01:25,950
Please fasten your safety belts
1362
01:01:25,950 --> 01:01:27,952
and extinguish
your cigarettes.
1363
01:01:27,952 --> 01:01:29,519
Due to the irregularity
in our cabin pressure,
1364
01:01:29,519 --> 01:01:32,256
the steward will pass out
cotton for your ears
1365
01:01:32,256 --> 01:01:33,924
to make the landing
less painful,
1366
01:01:33,924 --> 01:01:37,461
or you can blow your nose hard.
1367
01:01:37,461 --> 01:01:39,029
God bless.
1368
01:02:56,640 --> 01:02:57,741
Oy!
1369
01:03:02,746 --> 01:03:04,048
There.
1370
01:03:05,515 --> 01:03:06,917
Bella!
1371
01:03:40,284 --> 01:03:43,220
Ah-ha, I think I've
got you this time.
1372
01:03:43,220 --> 01:03:44,421
GERMAN ACCENT:
I don't think so at all,
1373
01:03:44,421 --> 01:03:46,790
my dear fellow,
because I go, uh...
1374
01:03:46,790 --> 01:03:48,792
eins, zwei, und drei.
1375
01:03:48,792 --> 01:03:51,695
That's pretty good.
1376
01:03:51,695 --> 01:03:53,797
You're not
a bad competitor.
1377
01:03:53,797 --> 01:03:54,831
Oh, thank you.
1378
01:03:54,831 --> 01:03:56,466
Let's have
a drink to it.
1379
01:03:56,466 --> 01:03:59,870
I think you're trying
to get me drunk.
1380
01:03:59,870 --> 01:04:01,338
A little for you...
1381
01:04:01,338 --> 01:04:02,406
Oh, bubbly.
1382
01:04:02,406 --> 01:04:03,240
A little for me,
1383
01:04:03,240 --> 01:04:08,178
and let's toast
to competition.
1384
01:04:09,914 --> 01:04:12,349
I'm talking to myself.
I'm losing my marbles.
1385
01:04:12,349 --> 01:04:14,784
Well, at least I'm winning.
Fritz, you want another game?
1386
01:04:14,784 --> 01:04:15,852
No, thank you.
1387
01:04:16,921 --> 01:04:18,322
Ooh, company.
1388
01:04:19,623 --> 01:04:21,125
I ask you,
1389
01:04:21,125 --> 01:04:24,128
what is this country coming to
when you can't trust anyone?
1390
01:04:24,128 --> 01:04:25,629
Who have you got in mind?
1391
01:04:25,629 --> 01:04:26,897
One of your guests
1392
01:04:26,897 --> 01:04:28,598
short-changed
one of my Girl Guides
1393
01:04:28,598 --> 01:04:29,666
on a raffle ticket.
1394
01:04:29,666 --> 01:04:31,135
Oh, is that all.
1395
01:04:31,135 --> 01:04:32,369
Oh, well, don't worry about it.
1396
01:04:32,369 --> 01:04:34,071
Bruce will reimburse you
out of petty cash.
1397
01:04:34,071 --> 01:04:35,872
Oh, how very decent of you.
1398
01:04:35,872 --> 01:04:38,042
That's nothing at all.
I was just thinking
1399
01:04:38,042 --> 01:04:39,543
about all of the
future mothers.
1400
01:04:39,543 --> 01:04:40,544
Thanks.
1401
01:04:40,544 --> 01:04:41,845
I, uh, I'm sorry,
1402
01:04:41,845 --> 01:04:43,147
I shouldn't have lost
my temper like that.
1403
01:04:43,147 --> 01:04:44,481
Usually I'm under control,
1404
01:04:44,481 --> 01:04:45,983
but lately I'm
a bundle of nerves.
1405
01:04:45,983 --> 01:04:47,251
Oh, are you.
I'm sorry.
1406
01:04:47,251 --> 01:04:49,519
Why don't you try
some medicinal champagne?
1407
01:04:49,519 --> 01:04:50,587
Oh, thanks.
1408
01:04:50,587 --> 01:04:52,522
Go right ahead.
1409
01:04:52,522 --> 01:04:55,592
Alcohol is a stimulant.
1410
01:04:55,592 --> 01:04:56,560
It's the greatest.
1411
01:04:56,560 --> 01:04:57,794
Mm, and I'm
in uniform.
1412
01:04:57,794 --> 01:04:59,964
Hey, easy.
That's not lemon squash.
1413
01:04:59,964 --> 01:05:01,598
I have some
peppermints with me.
1414
01:05:01,598 --> 01:05:02,799
Oh, good.
1415
01:05:02,799 --> 01:05:04,101
I ask you,
1416
01:05:04,101 --> 01:05:06,536
what is he up to
in Lisbon?
1417
01:05:06,536 --> 01:05:07,304
Uh, who?
1418
01:05:07,304 --> 01:05:08,939
Our friend Fred, that's who.
1419
01:05:08,939 --> 01:05:10,840
Oh, he went on business.
1420
01:05:10,840 --> 01:05:12,609
Uh, strictly business.
1421
01:05:12,609 --> 01:05:13,677
What sort
of business?
1422
01:05:13,677 --> 01:05:15,079
Oh, what sort
of business?
1423
01:05:15,079 --> 01:05:16,213
Uh, well, he, uh...
1424
01:05:16,213 --> 01:05:17,747
You tell me what
sort of business.
1425
01:05:17,747 --> 01:05:19,249
Drink right up, I'll tell you.
1426
01:05:31,962 --> 01:05:34,931
I ask you, innkeeper,
am I or am I not a female?
1427
01:05:34,931 --> 01:05:36,933
Oh, indubitably.
1428
01:05:36,933 --> 01:05:39,503
And under certain
circum-circum-circumstances,
1429
01:05:39,503 --> 01:05:41,938
would I or would I not
be found interesting,
1430
01:05:41,938 --> 01:05:44,241
even by such a twit
as Fred Davies?
1431
01:05:44,241 --> 01:05:47,144
You represent the future mothers
of Great Britain.
1432
01:05:47,144 --> 01:05:49,980
I represent the future mothers
of nobody.
1433
01:05:49,980 --> 01:05:51,748
I am on detention.
1434
01:05:51,748 --> 01:05:53,383
But you're in uniform.
1435
01:05:53,383 --> 01:05:55,352
Well, if it bothers you,
I shall remove it.
1436
01:05:55,352 --> 01:05:57,721
Oh, no!
Oh, no, don't do that.
1437
01:05:57,721 --> 01:06:01,558
Please...
Don't do that.
1438
01:06:05,262 --> 01:06:06,730
Oh, yes, I do recall--
1439
01:06:06,730 --> 01:06:07,931
George, are you
in there?
1440
01:06:07,931 --> 01:06:09,933
Pamela? No! No, I'm not.
1441
01:06:09,933 --> 01:06:12,569
Pamela, don't come in.
I'm having a relapse.
1442
01:06:16,273 --> 01:06:17,807
I came to see
how you were.
1443
01:06:17,807 --> 01:06:19,376
You were supposed
to be in bed.
1444
01:06:19,376 --> 01:06:22,612
Oh, he was--
he was just going there.
1445
01:06:22,612 --> 01:06:25,249
I brought you
some chicken soup
from the hotel.
1446
01:06:25,249 --> 01:06:27,884
To think I was stupid enough
to feel sorry for you.
1447
01:06:27,884 --> 01:06:30,120
Oh, well honey,
I know this looks--
1448
01:06:30,120 --> 01:06:31,688
You don't understand.
1449
01:06:31,688 --> 01:06:33,990
Here. Recuperate.
1450
01:06:33,990 --> 01:06:35,325
Honey, this isn't
what it looks like.
1451
01:06:35,325 --> 01:06:38,628
She brought me soup.
You want soup?
1452
01:06:38,628 --> 01:06:40,730
No, salad...
1453
01:06:50,740 --> 01:06:51,941
There you are, gentlemen.
1454
01:06:51,941 --> 01:06:55,279
"Kalbfus Electronic
High Speed Drill."
1455
01:06:55,279 --> 01:06:56,946
Well, there you are.
1456
01:06:56,946 --> 01:06:59,149
A slightly exotic mode
of delivery,
1457
01:06:59,149 --> 01:07:00,717
but you will
find your merchandise
1458
01:07:00,717 --> 01:07:02,186
in first class condition.
1459
01:07:02,186 --> 01:07:05,055
Have a look.
1460
01:07:05,055 --> 01:07:06,223
Superb, eh?
1461
01:07:06,223 --> 01:07:07,724
Ever see such detail?
1462
01:07:07,724 --> 01:07:09,093
Pinto, have your nurse
1463
01:07:09,093 --> 01:07:10,994
take a set of pictures
for these gentlemen,
1464
01:07:10,994 --> 01:07:12,028
and hurry it up.
1465
01:07:12,028 --> 01:07:13,230
He's coming out of the gas.
1466
01:07:13,230 --> 01:07:14,798
This is running
into overtime, amigo.
1467
01:07:14,798 --> 01:07:17,501
Look, you are paid by the hour,
not by the visit.
1468
01:07:17,501 --> 01:07:19,836
Just so you remember.
Understand?
1469
01:07:19,836 --> 01:07:21,037
Rosetta!
1470
01:07:21,037 --> 01:07:22,139
You called, doctor?
1471
01:07:22,139 --> 01:07:23,507
Si, cara.
1472
01:07:23,507 --> 01:07:26,276
I want you to take pictures
of this man's tooth.
1473
01:07:26,276 --> 01:07:27,677
Upper right bicuspid.
1474
01:07:27,677 --> 01:07:30,046
I dig, doctor.
1475
01:07:36,986 --> 01:07:38,655
Back to business,
back to business.
1476
01:07:38,655 --> 01:07:41,358
Right. The merchandise
has been delivered
1477
01:07:41,358 --> 01:07:44,528
in perfect condition.
Now, the payment.
1478
01:07:47,431 --> 01:07:48,598
Dollars?
1479
01:07:48,598 --> 01:07:49,833
What else?
1480
01:07:49,833 --> 01:07:50,834
Lovely.
1481
01:07:50,834 --> 01:07:51,835
Enough!
1482
01:07:51,835 --> 01:07:52,802
Enough?
1483
01:07:52,802 --> 01:07:53,837
What are you
talking about?
1484
01:07:53,837 --> 01:07:54,904
He's only
paid me half.
1485
01:07:54,904 --> 01:07:56,206
Exactly.
1486
01:07:56,206 --> 01:07:57,774
You friend has only brought us
half the plan.
1487
01:07:57,774 --> 01:07:59,343
Look here.
1488
01:07:59,343 --> 01:08:03,647
It says on this tooth,
"See page two."
1489
01:08:03,647 --> 01:08:04,948
Where is page two?
1490
01:08:04,948 --> 01:08:07,784
Where is page two?
That's the question.
1491
01:08:07,784 --> 01:08:11,155
Let's have a look. It must be
in here somewhere.
1492
01:08:11,155 --> 01:08:12,189
Where is page two?
1493
01:08:12,189 --> 01:08:14,324
Quietly.
You'll wake him up.
1494
01:08:14,324 --> 01:08:16,960
Hold that. It must be
in here somewhere.
1495
01:08:16,960 --> 01:08:20,264
There it is!
No, that's a cavity.
1496
01:08:20,264 --> 01:08:22,632
You have a look.
Carry on counting, Ali.
1497
01:08:22,632 --> 01:08:25,502
In the words of your country,
"C.O.D."
1498
01:08:25,502 --> 01:08:28,538
Look, cool it, Ali, baby.
We'll find page two.
1499
01:08:28,538 --> 01:08:31,441
And when you do, we pay.
Not until.
1500
01:08:31,441 --> 01:08:33,410
Take your meeting
into the next room!
1501
01:08:33,410 --> 01:08:36,946
The anesthetic
is wearing off.
1502
01:08:36,946 --> 01:08:40,484
Where's your telephone?
I want to call England...
collect.
1503
01:08:40,484 --> 01:08:42,719
That gap, I can
close that for you.
1504
01:08:42,719 --> 01:08:46,022
You close my gap,
and I'll open yours.
1505
01:08:46,022 --> 01:08:49,293
Rosetta... All right,
that's enough.
1506
01:08:49,293 --> 01:08:51,027
Give me the film,
I'll make the prints.
1507
01:08:51,027 --> 01:08:53,230
Keep the patient occupied.
1508
01:08:53,230 --> 01:08:55,232
I shall try, doctor.
1509
01:08:55,232 --> 01:08:57,601
Where am I?
Where am I?
1510
01:08:57,601 --> 01:09:00,670
Welcome to Lisbon,
brave birdman.
1511
01:09:00,670 --> 01:09:02,005
Brave birdman?
1512
01:09:02,005 --> 01:09:03,240
From now on,
1513
01:09:03,240 --> 01:09:05,175
let this be
your home away from home.
1514
01:09:07,244 --> 01:09:10,347
Page two?
I got it right
here in my hand.
1515
01:09:10,347 --> 01:09:12,382
Georgie, baby, what sort
of a game are you playing?
1516
01:09:12,382 --> 01:09:13,883
Willy, it's a little game
you taught me.
1517
01:09:13,883 --> 01:09:15,419
It's called "Protect Yourself
in the Clinches,"
1518
01:09:15,419 --> 01:09:16,753
and when my man
comes back
1519
01:09:16,753 --> 01:09:19,155
with a certified check
for page one,
1520
01:09:19,155 --> 01:09:20,290
you'll get page two.
1521
01:09:20,290 --> 01:09:21,558
Now remember,
1522
01:09:21,558 --> 01:09:24,194
a certified check
in my man's hat band.
1523
01:09:24,194 --> 01:09:26,196
And how am I supposed
to keep him here
1524
01:09:26,196 --> 01:09:28,265
while I get the check certified?
1525
01:09:28,265 --> 01:09:30,166
You'll think of something,
Willy, baby.
1526
01:09:30,166 --> 01:09:32,602
Keep in close touch.
1527
01:09:34,037 --> 01:09:36,105
Well, it's all right,
amigos.
1528
01:09:36,105 --> 01:09:38,708
Everything is under control.
1529
01:09:39,643 --> 01:09:41,511
Excuse me.
1530
01:09:43,747 --> 01:09:46,182
The patient is
getting restless, senor.
1531
01:09:46,182 --> 01:09:47,351
Sedate him.
1532
01:09:47,351 --> 01:09:48,985
Just one moment,
my little paella.
1533
01:09:48,985 --> 01:09:54,057
You can do me
a slight favor.
1534
01:09:54,057 --> 01:09:57,794
Oh, you have come
to the right person.
1535
01:10:01,097 --> 01:10:03,267
Patience, gentlemen.
1536
01:10:03,267 --> 01:10:05,935
The pyramids weren't
built in a day.
1537
01:10:05,935 --> 01:10:07,237
Two?
1538
01:10:07,237 --> 01:10:09,105
Three?
1539
01:10:22,118 --> 01:10:24,153
Georgie!
1540
01:10:24,153 --> 01:10:25,655
Georgie Lester!
1541
01:10:25,655 --> 01:10:27,457
Yoo-hoo!
1542
01:10:27,457 --> 01:10:28,658
Oh, Fred, you're back.
1543
01:10:28,658 --> 01:10:30,193
Come on up and have a drink.
1544
01:10:30,193 --> 01:10:33,663
Gladly, old boy. On me!
1545
01:10:36,165 --> 01:10:37,133
Good evening, good evening!
1546
01:10:37,133 --> 01:10:39,336
Oh, Fred!
Welcome home.
1547
01:10:39,336 --> 01:10:41,305
Hello, my dear.
You keeping well?
1548
01:10:41,305 --> 01:10:44,040
I'm on duty,
but I'll be off
tomorrow night.
1549
01:10:44,040 --> 01:10:45,409
Do you think
the two of us--
1550
01:10:45,409 --> 01:10:47,644
Ah-ah...
I'm sorry, I can't.
1551
01:10:47,644 --> 01:10:50,414
You see, I've got
to be off to Lisbon
first thing in the morning,
1552
01:10:50,414 --> 01:10:51,681
but keep up the good work.
1553
01:10:51,681 --> 01:10:53,450
You women are doing
a perfectly smashing job
1554
01:10:53,450 --> 01:10:54,518
here at home.
1555
01:10:54,518 --> 01:10:55,885
Oh, thanks very much.
1556
01:10:55,885 --> 01:10:57,587
You know, I don't know
what we'd do without you...
1557
01:10:58,622 --> 01:11:01,691
but I'm certainly going to try.
1558
01:11:01,691 --> 01:11:02,726
Whee!
1559
01:11:02,726 --> 01:11:04,694
Yes, the intrepid birdman
has returned,
1560
01:11:04,694 --> 01:11:09,366
and all I can say
is that travel can be
very broadening, baby.
1561
01:11:09,366 --> 01:11:10,867
Let me take that
for you, Fred.
1562
01:11:10,867 --> 01:11:11,735
Thank you.
1563
01:11:11,735 --> 01:11:13,102
Any trouble
with the old teeth?
1564
01:11:13,102 --> 01:11:14,904
No trouble at all.
How are you feeling?
1565
01:11:14,904 --> 01:11:18,141
Me? Oh, just fine,
just fine, thank you.
1566
01:11:18,141 --> 01:11:19,343
Uh, nice trip, Fred?
1567
01:11:19,343 --> 01:11:21,445
Oh, marvelous.
Those Portuguese...
1568
01:11:21,445 --> 01:11:22,646
They're so capable.
1569
01:11:22,646 --> 01:11:24,213
You know, they're
so friendly.
1570
01:11:24,213 --> 01:11:25,715
I can hardly wait
to get back there,
1571
01:11:25,715 --> 01:11:29,353
with all the ya-ta-ta
ta-ta-ta-ta-ta...
1572
01:11:29,353 --> 01:11:30,820
and the lights are low,
and it's all...
1573
01:11:30,820 --> 01:11:32,356
I take it you went
to the dentist?
1574
01:11:32,356 --> 01:11:34,458
Did I go to the dentist?
Look at this.
1575
01:11:34,458 --> 01:11:36,993
A jeweled dental
floss case.
1576
01:11:36,993 --> 01:11:39,696
Oh, that's lovely.
A souvenir from the dentist?
1577
01:11:39,696 --> 01:11:41,197
A souvenir from the nurse.
1578
01:11:42,699 --> 01:11:44,834
Oh, then they did
take good care of you?
1579
01:11:44,834 --> 01:11:46,102
Well, all I can say
1580
01:11:46,102 --> 01:11:48,372
is she can clean my teeth
any day of the week, baby.
1581
01:11:48,372 --> 01:11:50,507
Yahoo!
1582
01:11:50,507 --> 01:11:52,709
Oh, those legs...
1583
01:11:52,709 --> 01:11:54,911
I have an idea.
Go downstairs and relax,
1584
01:11:54,911 --> 01:11:56,079
have a drink
at the bar--
1585
01:11:56,079 --> 01:11:57,280
I'll go do to the bar--
1586
01:11:57,280 --> 01:11:58,247
And unwind a little.
1587
01:11:58,247 --> 01:11:59,282
I'll relax in the bar.
1588
01:11:59,282 --> 01:12:00,450
Sure, why not?
Go right ahead.
1589
01:12:00,450 --> 01:12:02,018
Thank you.
1590
01:12:02,018 --> 01:12:03,086
Any time, old chap.
1591
01:12:03,086 --> 01:12:06,656
Go right ahead
and unwind, Fred.
1592
01:12:06,656 --> 01:12:07,991
Unwind!
1593
01:12:07,991 --> 01:12:11,795
Hello, get me Mrs. Lester
at the hotel, please.
1594
01:12:17,667 --> 01:12:19,068
Fred!
1595
01:12:19,068 --> 01:12:23,239
Even with Willy's deductions,
you're a sight for sore eyes.
1596
01:12:23,239 --> 01:12:24,273
Hello.
1597
01:12:24,273 --> 01:12:25,409
Yes, I'm calling Mrs. Lester.
1598
01:12:25,409 --> 01:12:27,977
What? She's not there.
1599
01:12:27,977 --> 01:12:30,580
She's what?
She's gone away for the weekend?
1600
01:12:30,580 --> 01:12:32,516
Well, did she leave
a forwarding address?
1601
01:12:32,516 --> 01:12:34,651
Well, of course
this is important.
1602
01:12:34,651 --> 01:12:37,821
Uh, this is Doctor Gomberg,
the family oculist.
1603
01:12:37,821 --> 01:12:40,790
Yes. What is it?
1604
01:12:40,790 --> 01:12:45,629
Twin Pine Cottage,
in care of Dudley Heath, huh?
1605
01:12:45,629 --> 01:12:48,432
All right, thank you very much.
1606
01:12:48,432 --> 01:12:53,837
Daring Dudley, at it again, eh?
1607
01:13:05,381 --> 01:13:07,350
Dudley, no more champagne.
1608
01:13:07,350 --> 01:13:11,020
Just to top up
your glass, my pigeon.
1609
01:13:11,020 --> 01:13:13,056
Oh, I feel wonderful.
1610
01:13:13,056 --> 01:13:15,725
I feel as if I were
in a remote corner of the world,
1611
01:13:15,725 --> 01:13:17,861
cut off from everything.
1612
01:13:32,876 --> 01:13:34,343
Grr...
1613
01:13:34,343 --> 01:13:36,880
Dudley...
1614
01:13:59,035 --> 01:14:00,136
Oh, Pamela!
1615
01:14:00,136 --> 01:14:01,170
George!
1616
01:14:01,170 --> 01:14:02,405
Pamela...Oh...
1617
01:14:02,405 --> 01:14:04,140
first sickness,
now an injury.
1618
01:14:04,140 --> 01:14:05,174
George!
1619
01:14:05,174 --> 01:14:06,175
Pamela!
1620
01:14:06,175 --> 01:14:07,176
George!
1621
01:14:07,176 --> 01:14:08,177
Pamela!
1622
01:14:08,177 --> 01:14:09,312
What are you
doing here?
1623
01:14:09,312 --> 01:14:11,247
Oh, Pamela,
diseased as I am...
1624
01:14:11,247 --> 01:14:13,016
I had to come.
1625
01:14:13,016 --> 01:14:14,083
No you did not.
1626
01:14:14,083 --> 01:14:15,151
What is that, music?
1627
01:14:15,151 --> 01:14:16,720
Wine, two glasses?
1628
01:14:16,720 --> 01:14:19,623
Pamela Lester,
what's going on here?
1629
01:14:19,623 --> 01:14:21,858
Absolutely none
of your business
what's going on here,
1630
01:14:21,858 --> 01:14:23,693
and will you get up
off Dudley's couch?
1631
01:14:23,693 --> 01:14:25,662
George, you're embarrassing me.
1632
01:14:25,662 --> 01:14:27,664
Oh, Pamela Lester, shame.
1633
01:14:27,664 --> 01:14:29,799
How could you throw this
beautiful life of yours away
1634
01:14:29,799 --> 01:14:31,868
on a man that'll never
be good enough for you?
1635
01:14:31,868 --> 01:14:33,937
How do you know
what's good enough for me?
1636
01:14:33,937 --> 01:14:35,639
You don't know the
first thing about me.
1637
01:14:35,639 --> 01:14:36,973
Well, then, let me
learn, Pamela.
1638
01:14:36,973 --> 01:14:39,543
Teach me to see
how fast your nails grow.
1639
01:14:39,543 --> 01:14:40,944
I want to know your shoe size.
1640
01:14:40,944 --> 01:14:43,479
I want to know the distance
between your eyes.
1641
01:14:43,479 --> 01:14:45,782
Well, now,
here's our bubbly.
1642
01:14:45,782 --> 01:14:47,851
Ah-ha, Dudley bubbly.
1643
01:14:47,851 --> 01:14:49,586
What the devil is he doing here?
1644
01:14:49,586 --> 01:14:52,421
I got here on my
hands and knees.
1645
01:14:52,421 --> 01:14:54,891
I dragged myself
out of a sickbed,
1646
01:14:54,891 --> 01:14:57,694
and just in time,
it appears.
1647
01:14:57,694 --> 01:15:00,329
Dragged myself from a sickbed,
Pamela,
1648
01:15:00,329 --> 01:15:02,098
to show you this
certified check
1649
01:15:02,098 --> 01:15:03,833
for 11,447 pounds,
1650
01:15:03,833 --> 01:15:06,202
10 shillings
and fourpence.
1651
01:15:06,202 --> 01:15:07,236
George, how did you forge this?
1652
01:15:07,236 --> 01:15:09,272
George forge?
1653
01:15:09,272 --> 01:15:11,140
Oh, Pamela, how could you?
1654
01:15:11,140 --> 01:15:12,241
It's real. Bite it.
1655
01:15:12,241 --> 01:15:14,544
Oh, this is ironic.
1656
01:15:14,544 --> 01:15:17,213
A man lies at death's door,
1657
01:15:17,213 --> 01:15:18,281
with mumps, yet.
1658
01:15:18,281 --> 01:15:19,649
Mumps?
1659
01:15:21,250 --> 01:15:22,686
Are you contagious?
1660
01:15:24,453 --> 01:15:26,990
Contagious?
1661
01:15:30,426 --> 01:15:31,460
Contagious?
1662
01:15:31,460 --> 01:15:32,461
Intensely.
1663
01:15:32,461 --> 01:15:33,429
Get out of my house!
1664
01:15:33,429 --> 01:15:37,000
Leave me alone.
Stop it.
1665
01:15:37,000 --> 01:15:37,801
George, stop it!
1666
01:15:37,801 --> 01:15:42,505
This is not a joke!
1667
01:15:42,505 --> 01:15:44,741
All right, George, that's it!
1668
01:15:44,741 --> 01:15:47,310
It's the pain,
it's back.
1669
01:15:50,814 --> 01:15:52,515
Pamela, I'll
tell you what.
1670
01:15:52,515 --> 01:15:54,283
You take good care
of him, Pamela.
1671
01:15:54,283 --> 01:15:55,819
Go away! Get out of my house!
1672
01:15:55,819 --> 01:15:57,486
Pamela, I'm not going
to give you up.
1673
01:15:57,486 --> 01:15:58,722
Why won't you leave me alone?
1674
01:15:58,722 --> 01:16:00,023
Because I
love you, Pamela.
1675
01:16:00,023 --> 01:16:02,558
I love you,
and when he rejects you,
1676
01:16:02,558 --> 01:16:04,293
or rejects the
chicken soup,
1677
01:16:04,293 --> 01:16:06,162
you'll come knocking
at my door.
1678
01:16:06,162 --> 01:16:07,196
Oh, no, I won't.
1679
01:16:07,196 --> 01:16:08,598
Out!
1680
01:16:08,598 --> 01:16:10,867
And besides, it's my door!
1681
01:16:10,867 --> 01:16:13,036
Well, it's my chicken soup!
1682
01:16:13,036 --> 01:16:14,203
Pamela!
1683
01:16:15,504 --> 01:16:18,041
Communists...
1684
01:16:47,036 --> 01:16:51,140
Digby, what the blazes are you
trying to tell me?
1685
01:16:51,140 --> 01:16:54,110
Well, actually, sir,
I wasn't on the scene...
1686
01:16:54,110 --> 01:16:56,579
Never mind where
you were, man.
What went wrong?
1687
01:16:56,579 --> 01:16:59,716
Now you tell
Plans and Designs
that I want a full report.
1688
01:16:59,716 --> 01:17:00,784
Yes, sir.
1689
01:17:00,784 --> 01:17:02,719
Oh, excuse me.
1690
01:17:02,719 --> 01:17:05,588
Dudley, I've made you
some nice, hot chicken soup.
1691
01:17:05,588 --> 01:17:06,890
Chicken soup. Digby!
1692
01:17:06,890 --> 01:17:08,057
There are going to be
1693
01:17:08,057 --> 01:17:09,425
one or two heads
rolling over this,
1694
01:17:09,425 --> 01:17:11,094
and yours will be
one of them.
1695
01:17:11,094 --> 01:17:12,662
Go away!
1696
01:17:12,662 --> 01:17:13,763
What's happened?
1697
01:17:13,763 --> 01:17:15,231
Those idiots testing
the pilot model
1698
01:17:15,231 --> 01:17:16,499
of the Kalbfus drill...
1699
01:17:16,499 --> 01:17:17,801
It's defective.
1700
01:17:17,801 --> 01:17:19,703
Oh, come on now,
don't excite yourself.
1701
01:17:19,703 --> 01:17:20,770
They can always
correct it.
1702
01:17:20,770 --> 01:17:21,905
Wait till I
get my hands
1703
01:17:21,905 --> 01:17:23,106
on that old crow,
Mrs. Kalbfus.
1704
01:17:23,106 --> 01:17:24,640
How she wept
as she sold me
1705
01:17:24,640 --> 01:17:27,010
her husband's
crowning achievement.
1706
01:17:27,010 --> 01:17:30,613
200 pounds
she blubbered out of me.
1707
01:17:30,613 --> 01:17:33,382
You only paid that poor widow
200 pounds?
1708
01:17:33,382 --> 01:17:35,518
Yes, I shall probably
sue her for damages.
1709
01:17:35,518 --> 01:17:37,721
Operator, oper--
Pick that up.
1710
01:17:37,721 --> 01:17:41,124
Hurry. What? Operator,
get me my office.
1711
01:17:41,124 --> 01:17:42,959
I don't know,
look the number up!
1712
01:17:42,959 --> 01:17:45,962
What?
Oh, for goodness sake.
1713
01:17:45,962 --> 01:17:47,596
Heath Enterprises,
of course.
1714
01:17:47,596 --> 01:17:50,700
Pamela, would you mind
taking this slop
out of my lap?
1715
01:17:50,700 --> 01:17:52,101
It's seeping
into the sheets.
1716
01:17:52,101 --> 01:17:54,537
Heath Enterprises,
London!
1717
01:18:07,283 --> 01:18:08,818
May I come in?
1718
01:18:08,818 --> 01:18:10,553
Oh, Pamela,
of course.
1719
01:18:10,553 --> 01:18:12,321
Of course,
come right in.
1720
01:18:12,321 --> 01:18:13,556
It's your house.
1721
01:18:13,556 --> 01:18:14,958
You don't mind if I watch?
1722
01:18:14,958 --> 01:18:19,328
Mind? Of course not.
You can watch.
1723
01:18:19,328 --> 01:18:20,463
That's ridiculous.
1724
01:18:20,463 --> 01:18:22,031
That's not unlike...
1725
01:18:22,031 --> 01:18:25,534
Prince Albert objecting
1726
01:18:25,534 --> 01:18:28,271
to Queen Victoria
walking in...
1727
01:18:31,107 --> 01:18:34,610
That's a funny kind of thing,
"May I watch?"
1728
01:18:34,610 --> 01:18:36,045
Someone owns something,
1729
01:18:36,045 --> 01:18:39,448
and they ask someone,
"My I use it?"
1730
01:18:39,448 --> 01:18:40,984
That is funny.
1731
01:18:40,984 --> 01:18:43,920
You know, that's like someone
buying a car,
1732
01:18:43,920 --> 01:18:46,890
and they say, "I really don't
like to bother you,"
1733
01:18:46,890 --> 01:18:48,624
and they're talking
about something that they own,
1734
01:18:48,624 --> 01:18:51,861
that someone else is using.
1735
01:18:51,861 --> 01:18:56,432
George, how did you know
he'd reject my chicken soup?
1736
01:19:00,269 --> 01:19:02,371
Pamela, I'm a very busy man,
really.
1737
01:19:02,371 --> 01:19:04,974
I have an awful lot
of things to do, Pamela.
1738
01:19:04,974 --> 01:19:07,610
I really am terribly sorry.
I don't mean to be rude.
1739
01:19:07,610 --> 01:19:11,480
George, how did you know
he'd reject my chicken soup?
1740
01:19:11,480 --> 01:19:15,218
Honey, do you know that I could
spot a chicken soup rejecter
1741
01:19:15,218 --> 01:19:17,620
a mile away?
1742
01:19:17,620 --> 01:19:18,855
But that's not important.
1743
01:19:18,855 --> 01:19:20,289
The important thing
is that you're here,
1744
01:19:20,289 --> 01:19:22,691
and it's not every day
that a man gets his wife back,
1745
01:19:22,691 --> 01:19:24,360
and I say
we have a celebration.
1746
01:19:24,360 --> 01:19:25,294
I'll get us a drink.
1747
01:19:25,294 --> 01:19:28,031
George, I'm here.
I'm not back.
1748
01:19:28,031 --> 01:19:29,232
No drinking then.
1749
01:19:29,232 --> 01:19:30,366
George?
1750
01:19:30,366 --> 01:19:32,902
Where did you get
that 11,447 pounds,
1751
01:19:32,902 --> 01:19:34,838
10 shillings
and fourpence?
1752
01:19:34,838 --> 01:19:37,240
Oh... I earned it.
1753
01:19:37,240 --> 01:19:38,041
You earned it?
1754
01:19:38,041 --> 01:19:39,108
Well, yes, I earned it,
1755
01:19:39,108 --> 01:19:40,409
and you'll get
the rest tomorrow.
1756
01:19:40,409 --> 01:19:41,911
Was it one of your deals?
1757
01:19:41,911 --> 01:19:44,647
Oh, Pamela, how could you?
1758
01:19:44,647 --> 01:19:46,315
I did it to prove myself to you.
1759
01:19:46,315 --> 01:19:47,316
I don't believe you.
1760
01:19:47,316 --> 01:19:49,452
Pamela, I worked my fingers
to the bone.
1761
01:19:49,452 --> 01:19:50,486
I don't believe you.
1762
01:19:50,486 --> 01:19:52,755
Well, who needs
Wormwood Scrubs Prison?
1763
01:19:52,755 --> 01:19:53,756
Now I believe you.
1764
01:19:53,756 --> 01:19:55,158
I knew you would.
1765
01:19:55,158 --> 01:19:57,961
You know, I've had
more attention from you
1766
01:19:57,961 --> 01:20:00,997
since I left you
than in all the time
we've been married.
1767
01:20:00,997 --> 01:20:03,466
Get used to it,
my love.
1768
01:20:03,466 --> 01:20:05,134
That's the new George.
1769
01:20:05,134 --> 01:20:06,836
Calm yourselves,
gentlemen, calm--
1770
01:20:06,836 --> 01:20:08,771
Get me London, pronto.
1771
01:20:08,771 --> 01:20:11,374
Say, what?
There's a delay?
1772
01:20:11,374 --> 01:20:12,575
There's a delay.
1773
01:20:12,575 --> 01:20:15,111
Now, look, excuse me, gentlemen,
there is a delay.
1774
01:20:15,111 --> 01:20:17,847
There's no need for you to help
by moving into the other room.
1775
01:20:17,847 --> 01:20:18,982
Hello!
1776
01:20:18,982 --> 01:20:21,350
Do you speak Portuguese?
1777
01:20:21,350 --> 01:20:23,186
You know, doctor,
1778
01:20:23,186 --> 01:20:26,155
people should visit
their dentist more often.
1779
01:20:29,959 --> 01:20:31,360
Now the old George
kissed one way,
1780
01:20:31,360 --> 01:20:33,696
but the new George
kisses the same way.
1781
01:20:35,231 --> 01:20:36,099
George...
1782
01:20:36,099 --> 01:20:37,400
Oh, I was just dusting
the phone.
1783
01:20:37,400 --> 01:20:39,035
I cleaned the apartment.
I wouldn't answer it.
1784
01:20:39,035 --> 01:20:40,636
I mean, I wouldn't
take the call
1785
01:20:40,636 --> 01:20:41,837
under any conditions.
1786
01:20:41,837 --> 01:20:43,873
It could be Paul Getty
with a big deal,
1787
01:20:43,873 --> 01:20:45,841
and I wouldn't answer it.
1788
01:20:45,841 --> 01:20:46,775
See?
1789
01:20:46,775 --> 01:20:47,810
Help!
1790
01:20:47,810 --> 01:20:48,878
George!
1791
01:20:48,878 --> 01:20:50,246
Help, George!
1792
01:20:50,246 --> 01:20:51,314
Help!
1793
01:20:51,314 --> 01:20:52,348
Emir, baby,
1794
01:20:52,348 --> 01:20:54,350
call off your friend
with the cutlery,
1795
01:20:54,350 --> 01:20:57,086
and let's negotiate.
1796
01:20:58,955 --> 01:21:00,056
George!
1797
01:21:00,056 --> 01:21:01,357
You weren't going
to answer.
1798
01:21:01,357 --> 01:21:02,291
Uh, sweetheart,
1799
01:21:02,291 --> 01:21:03,927
it sounds like
someone's in distress.
1800
01:21:03,927 --> 01:21:06,362
You bet I'm in distress,
and so are you.
1801
01:21:06,362 --> 01:21:08,431
Now, I have
an urgent message for you.
1802
01:21:08,431 --> 01:21:10,033
Stop the delivery.
1803
01:21:10,033 --> 01:21:12,401
Is something wrong?
You bet there is.
1804
01:21:12,401 --> 01:21:14,870
That idiot with the tooth
has got to be stopped.
1805
01:21:14,870 --> 01:21:15,939
We're being hijacked.
1806
01:21:15,939 --> 01:21:18,241
That crooked Portuguese dentist
1807
01:21:18,241 --> 01:21:20,476
has got
a crookeder Portuguese nurse,
1808
01:21:20,476 --> 01:21:21,577
who is making copies
1809
01:21:21,577 --> 01:21:24,747
and peddling them
to customers of her own.
1810
01:21:24,747 --> 01:21:26,049
Uh, very interesting.
1811
01:21:26,049 --> 01:21:27,450
"Interesting,"
he says.
1812
01:21:27,450 --> 01:21:29,052
I am getting complaints
from our customers.
1813
01:21:29,052 --> 01:21:32,155
Pointed complaints, George.
1814
01:21:32,155 --> 01:21:34,523
I'm sure that you can take care
of the situation very nicely.
1815
01:21:34,523 --> 01:21:35,925
Oh, no.
1816
01:21:35,925 --> 01:21:38,094
You're not going to leave me
holding this bag.
1817
01:21:38,094 --> 01:21:39,895
Uh, well,
I'm very sorry,
1818
01:21:39,895 --> 01:21:41,597
but I'm busy with
my wife right now.
1819
01:21:41,597 --> 01:21:42,665
Listen, Georgie,
1820
01:21:42,665 --> 01:21:44,233
if you don't stop page two,
1821
01:21:44,233 --> 01:21:46,102
you won't be around
to enjoy your wife.
1822
01:21:46,102 --> 01:21:47,370
Are you suggesting--
1823
01:21:47,370 --> 01:21:48,304
I'm suggesting
1824
01:21:48,304 --> 01:21:49,872
that I am not the sort of man
1825
01:21:49,872 --> 01:21:51,340
who can keep his mouth shut
under torture.
1826
01:21:51,340 --> 01:21:53,276
How would you like your wife
1827
01:21:53,276 --> 01:21:55,178
to know how you
stole those plans?
1828
01:21:55,178 --> 01:21:56,545
How you got them here?
1829
01:21:56,545 --> 01:21:59,848
You'd better bring
page two personally.
1830
01:21:59,848 --> 01:22:01,717
I believe you do
have a point.
1831
01:22:01,717 --> 01:22:04,653
All right,
I'll take care of it. Bye.
1832
01:22:04,653 --> 01:22:07,023
There.
1833
01:22:07,023 --> 01:22:09,658
All right, Emir,
get a grip on yourself!
1834
01:22:09,658 --> 01:22:10,960
Burgundy?
1835
01:22:10,960 --> 01:22:13,429
Something for you?
1836
01:22:13,429 --> 01:22:15,398
Operator, would you get me
Wilham's Garage, please.
1837
01:22:15,398 --> 01:22:18,067
I'm just going to make
this one little
itty-bitty call--
1838
01:22:18,067 --> 01:22:20,169
It's not about business.
It's about my car, dear.
1839
01:22:20,169 --> 01:22:22,205
Hello. Wilham's Garage?
1840
01:22:22,205 --> 01:22:24,807
Is Fred Davies
there, please
1841
01:22:24,807 --> 01:22:27,076
Oh, he's not there.
He's at the dentist.
1842
01:22:27,076 --> 01:22:29,245
Oh, I see. All right,
thank you very much.
1843
01:22:29,245 --> 01:22:32,581
Honey, get me
Dr. Spink's office
right away, please.
1844
01:22:32,581 --> 01:22:34,817
Uh, it's not another call.
It's the same call.
1845
01:22:34,817 --> 01:22:36,219
He wasn't at the garage,
you heard, so...
1846
01:22:41,590 --> 01:22:42,658
Hello.
1847
01:22:42,658 --> 01:22:43,792
I'm looking for Fred Davies.
1848
01:22:43,792 --> 01:22:44,994
He might be in the chair.
1849
01:22:44,994 --> 01:22:46,062
No, I'm sorry.
1850
01:22:46,062 --> 01:22:47,463
He just left for the airport.
1851
01:22:47,463 --> 01:22:48,331
Hello, operator,
1852
01:22:48,331 --> 01:22:49,698
get me the London
Airport, please.
1853
01:22:49,698 --> 01:22:52,301
This is-- You heard that he's
not at the dentist.
1854
01:22:52,301 --> 01:22:53,669
I started at
the garage, dentist,
1855
01:22:53,669 --> 01:22:55,504
now, it's the same fellow,
but he's at the airport.
1856
01:22:55,504 --> 01:22:58,007
Hello, London Airport,
would you connect me
1857
01:22:58,007 --> 01:22:59,108
with British
Regal Airways, please?
1858
01:22:59,108 --> 01:23:00,509
I'm trying to locate
a Fred Davies
1859
01:23:00,509 --> 01:23:03,012
who's on his way
to Lisbon
1860
01:23:03,012 --> 01:23:06,915
There is no office
for British Regal Airways?
1861
01:23:06,915 --> 01:23:09,952
Well, what kind
of an airway has no office?
1862
01:23:09,952 --> 01:23:12,721
British Regal
is an airway
1863
01:23:12,721 --> 01:23:13,922
that doesn't have
an office.
1864
01:23:13,922 --> 01:23:16,392
I see, all right.
Thank you very much.
1865
01:23:16,392 --> 01:23:17,593
Here, that's it,
no more calls.
1866
01:23:17,593 --> 01:23:19,962
That's the end
of the calls, sweetheart.
1867
01:23:19,962 --> 01:23:21,564
I'm not going to call,
or take any calls,
1868
01:23:21,564 --> 01:23:23,766
but I do have to go
for a moment.
1869
01:23:23,766 --> 01:23:24,833
Where?
1870
01:23:24,833 --> 01:23:26,169
Uh, uh, just out.
1871
01:23:26,169 --> 01:23:28,837
I mean, I have to try
to stop a mouth
1872
01:23:28,837 --> 01:23:30,273
from leaving the country,
1873
01:23:30,273 --> 01:23:31,674
but why don't you relax,
take a nap, read something.
1874
01:23:31,674 --> 01:23:34,510
Order yourself some
egg foo yong or chow mein.
1875
01:23:34,510 --> 01:23:35,311
George!
1876
01:23:35,311 --> 01:23:36,945
Yes, I'm still here, Pamela.
1877
01:23:36,945 --> 01:23:39,315
British Regal Airlines,
Willy-baby,
1878
01:23:39,315 --> 01:23:42,451
Fred Davies, Lisbon,
Portugal...
1879
01:23:42,451 --> 01:23:44,820
George, do they have
anything to do
1880
01:23:44,820 --> 01:23:49,058
with 11,447 pounds,
10 shillings,
and fourpence?
1881
01:23:49,058 --> 01:23:50,926
Would I lie to you?
1882
01:23:50,926 --> 01:23:54,230
Yes, you would...
and you have.
1883
01:24:17,420 --> 01:24:19,722
This is your Captain speaking.
1884
01:24:19,722 --> 01:24:22,591
Our flight to Lisbon
will be non-stop...
1885
01:24:22,591 --> 01:24:24,260
we hope.
1886
01:24:24,260 --> 01:24:27,930
Our cruising altitude
will be somewhere between...
1887
01:24:27,930 --> 01:24:33,068
8,000 and, say, uh,
13,000 feet.
1888
01:24:33,068 --> 01:24:36,605
Enjoy your flight,
and God bless.
1889
01:25:07,102 --> 01:25:10,072
Hey!
Let me--
1890
01:25:10,072 --> 01:25:12,808
What is this?
Open the door!
1891
01:25:12,808 --> 01:25:14,377
Open this door.
1892
01:25:14,377 --> 01:25:16,779
I said, open-- Help!
1893
01:25:27,690 --> 01:25:31,026
Rosetta, I'm coming!
1894
01:25:31,026 --> 01:25:34,597
Hey, hey, mister,
mister, my baby!
1895
01:25:34,597 --> 01:25:35,864
My baby!
1896
01:25:35,864 --> 01:25:39,202
My baby...
1897
01:25:50,879 --> 01:25:53,916
Get going.
I'll tell you where.
1898
01:26:00,155 --> 01:26:04,227
Start following.
Follow, follow. Get him.
1899
01:26:09,097 --> 01:26:10,633
Follow them.
1900
01:26:48,704 --> 01:26:49,505
Ah-ha!
1901
01:26:49,505 --> 01:26:51,240
No, no!
Get away from me.
1902
01:26:51,240 --> 01:26:53,108
No, you can't
have it, no!
1903
01:26:53,108 --> 01:26:54,877
Get away from me,
you idiot man!
1904
01:26:54,877 --> 01:26:56,412
Wait till
the doctor--
1905
01:26:56,412 --> 01:26:59,081
Rosetta! I'll save you.
1906
01:26:59,081 --> 01:27:00,383
Get away from me.
1907
01:27:00,383 --> 01:27:02,485
No, no, it is my film.
1908
01:27:07,122 --> 01:27:08,657
Fred, what are you doing?
1909
01:27:20,336 --> 01:27:22,037
Fred, will you
cut it out?
1910
01:27:22,037 --> 01:27:24,139
No!
1911
01:27:24,139 --> 01:27:25,974
My film!
1912
01:27:28,043 --> 01:27:29,778
Oh, the clients!
You're just in time.
1913
01:27:29,778 --> 01:27:31,514
Well, here's what you
have been waiting for.
1914
01:27:31,514 --> 01:27:32,881
You got it
from the nurse?
1915
01:27:32,881 --> 01:27:34,249
Yeah, and it
wasn't easy.
1916
01:27:34,249 --> 01:27:35,951
I can't find Mr. Homer anywhere.
1917
01:27:35,951 --> 01:27:36,985
I mean, I can't see him around.
1918
01:27:36,985 --> 01:27:38,186
Give me
the second payment here,
1919
01:27:38,186 --> 01:27:39,355
and we can close the books.
1920
01:27:39,355 --> 01:27:40,756
Pay the gentleman.
1921
01:27:40,756 --> 01:27:41,757
Without delay.
1922
01:27:41,757 --> 01:27:42,858
Oh.
1923
01:27:42,858 --> 01:27:44,059
Well, don't get sore.
1924
01:27:44,059 --> 01:27:45,861
I mean, was it
something I said?
1925
01:27:45,861 --> 01:27:47,530
Surely we can talk--
1926
01:27:47,530 --> 01:27:49,398
Will you hold it
a minute?
1927
01:27:50,799 --> 01:27:52,901
Uh, did you want a shave
and a haircut?
1928
01:27:52,901 --> 01:27:53,969
The boys are here.
1929
01:27:53,969 --> 01:27:56,004
I didn't want--
1930
01:27:57,239 --> 01:27:58,240
Don't let them out!
1931
01:27:58,240 --> 01:27:59,308
Take a hold of it.
1932
01:27:59,308 --> 01:28:00,309
Hold it.
1933
01:28:00,309 --> 01:28:02,611
Look out!
You can hurt--
1934
01:28:02,611 --> 01:28:03,646
Excuse me.
1935
01:28:03,646 --> 01:28:04,547
Pamela!
1936
01:28:04,547 --> 01:28:06,281
George, what's with--
1937
01:28:06,281 --> 01:28:08,083
Where are you going,
you swine?
1938
01:28:08,083 --> 01:28:09,117
I'm going to save your life.
1939
01:28:09,117 --> 01:28:11,554
Come on!
1940
01:28:11,554 --> 01:28:13,756
No more appointments today,
gentlemen.
1941
01:28:13,756 --> 01:28:16,158
No more.
1942
01:28:16,158 --> 01:28:17,893
Fred, close the door!
1943
01:28:17,893 --> 01:28:18,994
Fred, close the door!
1944
01:28:18,994 --> 01:28:21,797
I've closed the door!
1945
01:28:21,797 --> 01:28:24,299
Fred! Fred!
1946
01:28:24,299 --> 01:28:27,703
Fred, what are you doing?
1947
01:28:27,703 --> 01:28:30,373
Pamela, where are you going?
1948
01:28:33,909 --> 01:28:35,644
George!
1949
01:28:39,615 --> 01:28:41,316
Where are you, George?
1950
01:28:42,785 --> 01:28:44,853
Around the corner,
around the corner!
1951
01:28:46,221 --> 01:28:47,856
George!
1952
01:28:53,829 --> 01:28:54,930
Let's get going.
1953
01:28:57,099 --> 01:28:58,601
Come on.
1954
01:28:58,601 --> 01:29:00,135
Not now! Not now!
1955
01:29:00,135 --> 01:29:02,037
Where are we going?
1956
01:29:02,037 --> 01:29:03,939
I wish I knew.
1957
01:29:15,984 --> 01:29:18,954
I told you, not now!
1958
01:29:26,862 --> 01:29:27,996
No, no, no!
1959
01:29:27,996 --> 01:29:29,632
Excuse me.
1960
01:29:48,350 --> 01:29:51,454
Georgie, baby,
come in out of the heat.
1961
01:30:03,165 --> 01:30:05,734
Hurry, let's get in here.
1962
01:30:08,571 --> 01:30:09,938
That's better.
1963
01:30:09,938 --> 01:30:11,674
Come sit over here.
1964
01:30:11,674 --> 01:30:13,175
You must be
absolutely exhausted.
1965
01:30:13,175 --> 01:30:14,810
When those ruffians outside
1966
01:30:14,810 --> 01:30:16,378
discovered that the nurse
1967
01:30:16,378 --> 01:30:17,746
was selling copies
of the negatives
1968
01:30:17,746 --> 01:30:20,348
to their rivals,
they got rather hurt.
1969
01:30:20,348 --> 01:30:22,017
Oh, I say, do let me
introduce myself.
1970
01:30:22,017 --> 01:30:23,919
H. William Homer,
at your service.
1971
01:30:23,919 --> 01:30:25,821
Would you care for an aperitif,
an espresso?
1972
01:30:25,821 --> 01:30:28,524
Thank you.
Now would you
mind telling me--
1973
01:30:28,524 --> 01:30:29,925
And four espressos, please.
1974
01:30:29,925 --> 01:30:33,629
Pamela, the hat.
1975
01:30:35,631 --> 01:30:37,265
I'm sorry, I forgot.
1976
01:30:37,265 --> 01:30:39,568
Willy, all I can say is,
1977
01:30:39,568 --> 01:30:41,704
I never thought the sight of you
would be so welcome.
1978
01:30:41,704 --> 01:30:43,706
Now we're even for the check,
eh?
1979
01:30:43,706 --> 01:30:44,507
Yeah.
1980
01:30:44,507 --> 01:30:45,574
Got the negatives?
1981
01:30:45,574 --> 01:30:48,076
Yes, I have.
Here they are.
1982
01:30:48,076 --> 01:30:49,344
You do have the money.
1983
01:30:49,344 --> 01:30:50,713
Patience, dear boy,
patience.
1984
01:30:50,713 --> 01:30:53,549
Just a minute.
Those look like my teeth,
1985
01:30:53,549 --> 01:30:54,883
and if they are my teeth,
1986
01:30:54,883 --> 01:30:56,685
I'd like to know
why they're being passed around
1987
01:30:56,685 --> 01:30:57,853
like filthy postcards.
1988
01:30:57,853 --> 01:30:59,888
You're right,
whatever your name is.
1989
01:30:59,888 --> 01:31:01,223
You're entitled
to an explanation.
1990
01:31:01,223 --> 01:31:02,591
I'm entitled.
1991
01:31:02,591 --> 01:31:03,692
And if you're entitled,
then I'm entitled.
1992
01:31:03,692 --> 01:31:05,027
George, what's going on?
1993
01:31:05,027 --> 01:31:06,595
All right, shut up, both of you,
will you please?
1994
01:31:06,595 --> 01:31:08,664
Now, Willy,
let's settle up,
1995
01:31:08,664 --> 01:31:10,232
and get the show
on the road,
1996
01:31:10,232 --> 01:31:11,333
if you don't mind.
1997
01:31:11,333 --> 01:31:12,735
Payment number two,
old buddy.
1998
01:31:12,735 --> 01:31:13,969
Never let it be said
1999
01:31:13,969 --> 01:31:15,938
that H. William
copped out on a friend.
2000
01:31:19,474 --> 01:31:21,443
Hey, boss,
I lose them pretty good,
2001
01:31:21,443 --> 01:31:23,946
but by the way,
I am with them.
2002
01:31:23,946 --> 01:31:26,414
Hand everything to me,
please.
2003
01:31:26,414 --> 01:31:28,116
Hey, coffee.
Hey, coffee.
2004
01:31:28,116 --> 01:31:29,151
Oh, very nice.
2005
01:31:29,151 --> 01:31:31,153
A party.
2006
01:31:31,153 --> 01:31:32,454
Thank you very much.
2007
01:31:32,454 --> 01:31:33,656
Where did you dig him up?
2008
01:31:33,656 --> 01:31:35,390
He comes from Hertz.
2009
01:31:35,390 --> 01:31:36,825
Oh, really?
2010
01:31:36,825 --> 01:31:38,627
So how come he's
trying harder?
2011
01:31:38,627 --> 01:31:40,629
Hand everything
over, please.
2012
01:31:40,629 --> 01:31:41,964
Willy, will you
give him the negatives?
2013
01:31:41,964 --> 01:31:43,231
Certainly not. They're valuable.
2014
01:31:43,231 --> 01:31:44,299
Give him the money.
2015
01:31:44,299 --> 01:31:45,300
Give him my money?
2016
01:31:45,300 --> 01:31:46,368
Yeah.
2017
01:31:46,368 --> 01:31:48,036
You hired him,
you pay him off.
2018
01:31:48,036 --> 01:31:49,504
He'll kill us.
2019
01:31:49,504 --> 01:31:50,573
No he won't, Willy.
2020
01:31:50,573 --> 01:31:51,974
All he wants
is the negatives.
2021
01:31:51,974 --> 01:31:53,341
And the money.
2022
01:31:53,341 --> 01:31:54,743
Oh, forget it, Pedro.
2023
01:31:54,743 --> 01:31:56,311
I worked awfully hard
for that money.
2024
01:31:56,311 --> 01:31:57,746
I photographed those plans,
2025
01:31:57,746 --> 01:31:58,914
and I figured a way
2026
01:31:58,914 --> 01:32:00,415
to get it
into this clod's teeth...
2027
01:32:00,415 --> 01:32:02,417
and you are not
getting the money
2028
01:32:02,417 --> 01:32:04,419
that I need to restore
my wife's house.
2029
01:32:04,419 --> 01:32:06,889
I shall count
to three, senor.
2030
01:32:06,889 --> 01:32:07,990
Uno...
2031
01:32:07,990 --> 01:32:09,091
dos...
2032
01:32:09,091 --> 01:32:10,292
Pass the biscuits,
would you please?
2033
01:32:10,292 --> 01:32:11,393
Oh, certainly, senor.
2034
01:32:11,393 --> 01:32:13,095
Ah-ha!
2035
01:32:13,095 --> 01:32:14,096
How was that?
2036
01:32:14,096 --> 01:32:15,097
Good thinking, George.
2037
01:32:15,097 --> 01:32:17,065
All right,
we'll take care of him later.
2038
01:32:17,065 --> 01:32:19,467
All right, sweetheart,
here's the money...
2039
01:32:19,467 --> 01:32:20,736
for your house.
2040
01:32:20,736 --> 01:32:22,838
I thought I knew
your twisted mind,
2041
01:32:22,838 --> 01:32:24,472
but this is too much.
2042
01:32:24,472 --> 01:32:25,574
Well, wait a minute...
2043
01:32:25,574 --> 01:32:26,575
Pamela!
2044
01:32:26,575 --> 01:32:28,376
Everything
is all straight now.
2045
01:32:28,376 --> 01:32:29,645
We've got the money,
2046
01:32:29,645 --> 01:32:31,046
and everything is
still in there.
2047
01:32:31,046 --> 01:32:32,114
Show her, Fred.
2048
01:32:32,114 --> 01:32:33,649
I will not.
2049
01:32:33,649 --> 01:32:35,584
Who was it that got you
all new inlays?
2050
01:32:36,284 --> 01:32:37,953
You are incredible.
2051
01:32:37,953 --> 01:32:39,321
You pinch Dudley's plans,
2052
01:32:39,321 --> 01:32:41,156
you have them engraved
on that poor man's tooth,
2053
01:32:41,156 --> 01:32:43,358
flown to Lisbon,
photographed, sold...
2054
01:32:43,358 --> 01:32:46,194
Well, I will admit,
it did get a little complicated.
2055
01:32:46,194 --> 01:32:47,630
Oh, George!
2056
01:32:47,630 --> 01:32:49,131
If once, just once,
2057
01:32:49,131 --> 01:32:51,099
you could do something
in a simple, direct way.
2058
01:32:51,099 --> 01:32:53,435
Why must you always
lower the river,
2059
01:32:53,435 --> 01:32:55,003
instead of raising the bridge?
2060
01:32:55,003 --> 01:32:58,707
Anyway, Dudley's drill blew up
in the first test.
2061
01:32:58,707 --> 01:33:01,243
Oh, anyone can criticize,
2062
01:33:01,243 --> 01:33:03,178
but who else do you know
2063
01:33:03,178 --> 01:33:06,048
who could have carried out
this entire operation,
2064
01:33:06,048 --> 01:33:09,151
with the timing, the precision,
2065
01:33:09,151 --> 01:33:12,554
with the delicacy
of a fine Swiss watch,
2066
01:33:12,554 --> 01:33:13,956
and, I might add,
2067
01:33:13,956 --> 01:33:17,559
while lying on his back,
all covered with mumps?
2068
01:33:17,559 --> 01:33:20,763
I ask you,
what thanks do I get?
2069
01:33:20,763 --> 01:33:22,798
Whatever happened
to old
2070
01:33:22,798 --> 01:33:25,133
Anybody in the world
would applaud.
2071
01:33:27,302 --> 01:33:28,536
Applaud what I did,
2072
01:33:28,536 --> 01:33:31,239
but to my wife,
I am now...
2073
01:33:31,239 --> 01:33:35,744
and shall always remain...
2074
01:33:35,744 --> 01:33:41,516
just old George.
2075
01:33:41,516 --> 01:33:43,151
Bravo, senor, bravo.
2076
01:33:44,352 --> 01:33:45,620
All right, you,
stick them up.
2077
01:33:45,620 --> 01:33:47,055
You're going to
drive me to the airport.
2078
01:33:47,055 --> 01:33:49,357
If I don't get on my plane,
I'm going to lose my job.
2079
01:33:49,357 --> 01:33:50,759
You remember, Mr. Lester?
2080
01:33:50,759 --> 01:33:52,460
We takers are forced
to earn an honest living.
2081
01:33:52,460 --> 01:33:54,229
Huh? Come on.
2082
01:33:54,229 --> 01:33:55,230
I'm coming with you.
2083
01:33:55,230 --> 01:33:56,498
Pleasure, Mrs. Lester.
2084
01:33:56,498 --> 01:33:58,433
Hey, George, will you
do me a favor?
2085
01:33:58,433 --> 01:33:59,835
Anything.
2086
01:33:59,835 --> 01:34:02,104
Promise me you won't
leave your brain to science.
2087
01:34:07,509 --> 01:34:10,112
George...
2088
01:34:10,112 --> 01:34:13,148
Are you on
the Diner's Club?
2089
01:34:27,162 --> 01:34:29,297
Everyone, settle down
just a moment.
2090
01:34:29,297 --> 01:34:30,866
Ladies and gentlemen...
2091
01:34:30,866 --> 01:34:34,136
Now for the climax
of our annual Girl Guide raffle.
2092
01:34:34,136 --> 01:34:37,940
We will draw the ticket
for the first prize,
2093
01:34:37,940 --> 01:34:40,575
which is a beautiful
Portuguese Bella,
2094
01:34:40,575 --> 01:34:42,911
donated by our
public-spirited friend,
2095
01:34:42,911 --> 01:34:45,981
Mr. Fred Davies
of Wilham's Garage.
2096
01:34:45,981 --> 01:34:49,752
Mrs. Lester,
will you do the honors?
2097
01:34:49,752 --> 01:34:51,053
Of course.
2098
01:34:52,620 --> 01:34:55,123
Oopsy-daisy.
2099
01:34:58,060 --> 01:35:03,832
The winning number is 4762B.
2100
01:35:05,333 --> 01:35:10,305
Has anyone here got 4762B?
2101
01:35:10,305 --> 01:35:12,307
It's here! I--
2102
01:35:13,575 --> 01:35:14,777
Fred...
2103
01:35:14,777 --> 01:35:19,414
Fred!
2104
01:35:19,414 --> 01:35:21,016
Oh, Fred.
2105
01:35:22,717 --> 01:35:24,019
I say.
2106
01:35:24,019 --> 01:35:25,720
I say.
2107
01:35:25,720 --> 01:35:28,090
Would you--
would you care to dance?
2108
01:35:28,090 --> 01:35:32,227
Oh, Fred, I--
I'd rather sit this one
out on the terrace.
2109
01:35:32,227 --> 01:35:33,328
Would you?
2110
01:35:52,214 --> 01:35:53,515
You...
2111
01:35:53,515 --> 01:35:54,749
At your service, ma'am.
2112
01:35:54,749 --> 01:35:57,786
I come on a most
unpleasant errand.
2113
01:35:57,786 --> 01:35:58,887
May I come in?
2114
01:35:58,887 --> 01:36:00,622
I won't take up
much of your time.
2115
01:36:00,622 --> 01:36:01,689
Come in, Ali.
2116
01:36:03,125 --> 01:36:06,194
Don't be alarmed.
He's quite friendly.
2117
01:36:06,194 --> 01:36:07,762
Mrs. Lester,
2118
01:36:07,762 --> 01:36:10,398
across the great
chess board of life
2119
01:36:10,398 --> 01:36:11,867
pass many men,
2120
01:36:11,867 --> 01:36:15,137
some pawns, some knights,
very few kings.
2121
01:36:15,137 --> 01:36:16,204
such a man,
2122
01:36:16,204 --> 01:36:18,907
a man I am proud
to have called "friend,"
2123
01:36:18,907 --> 01:36:20,843
was George Lester.
2124
01:36:20,843 --> 01:36:23,578
George is a king?
He's a rook.
2125
01:36:23,578 --> 01:36:25,380
One of nature's noblemen.
2126
01:36:25,380 --> 01:36:26,949
How difficult it is
2127
01:36:26,949 --> 01:36:29,784
to be the bearer
of such sad news.
2128
01:36:29,784 --> 01:36:31,553
He's been arrested?
2129
01:36:31,553 --> 01:36:32,720
Worse.
2130
01:36:32,720 --> 01:36:34,156
He is in the hands
of angry Arabs.
2131
01:36:34,156 --> 01:36:35,623
Ali was there
when he was grabbed?
2132
01:36:35,623 --> 01:36:36,658
That's right.
2133
01:36:36,658 --> 01:36:37,692
Are they torturing him?
2134
01:36:37,692 --> 01:36:40,028
Daily.
Lovely. How?
2135
01:36:40,028 --> 01:36:42,230
Oh, you wouldn't want to hear,
Mrs. Lester.
2136
01:36:42,230 --> 01:36:44,833
Oh, but of course
I would. I'm his wife.
2137
01:36:44,833 --> 01:36:47,135
Did they stick bamboo
under his fingernails?
2138
01:36:47,135 --> 01:36:49,271
Oh, really, Mrs. Lester.
2139
01:36:49,271 --> 01:36:51,039
Your husband is
a very brave man.
2140
01:36:51,039 --> 01:36:52,340
He hasn't cracked once.
2141
01:36:52,340 --> 01:36:53,175
Eh, Ali?
2142
01:36:53,175 --> 01:36:56,444
Right.
Incredible. Incredible.
2143
01:36:56,444 --> 01:36:59,948
Tell Mrs. Lester
what he mumbled to you
through cracked lips.
2144
01:36:59,948 --> 01:37:05,353
He said, "Tell Pamela I did
everything for her...
2145
01:37:05,353 --> 01:37:06,721
and for permanence."
2146
01:37:06,721 --> 01:37:08,023
Oh, he did?
2147
01:37:08,023 --> 01:37:09,858
Really, you should be
ashamed of yourself,
2148
01:37:09,858 --> 01:37:11,693
coming in here
with this fake sheikh.
2149
01:37:11,693 --> 01:37:14,863
Here.
2150
01:37:14,863 --> 01:37:15,898
Now what?
2151
01:37:15,898 --> 01:37:18,400
I told you it wouldn't work.
2152
01:37:27,342 --> 01:37:29,144
Pamela,
2153
01:37:29,144 --> 01:37:30,712
I just had to see you,
2154
01:37:30,712 --> 01:37:32,280
because I'm mad for you,
2155
01:37:32,280 --> 01:37:34,049
and I don't want
to let you go.
2156
01:37:34,049 --> 01:37:38,353
I'm being honest
this time, don't you believe me?
2157
01:37:38,353 --> 01:37:40,455
Well, I'm still
going to divorce you.
2158
01:37:40,455 --> 01:37:42,290
You have no grounds.
2159
01:37:43,758 --> 01:37:45,928
I know.
2160
01:37:48,796 --> 01:37:49,864
George.
2161
01:37:49,864 --> 01:37:51,066
Georgie baby.
2162
01:37:51,066 --> 01:37:54,602
George.
George.
2163
01:38:00,542 --> 01:38:03,011
All zebras are white
with black stripes.
2164
01:38:03,011 --> 01:38:04,212
Now, this gentleman
2165
01:38:04,212 --> 01:38:06,214
can breed black zebras
with white stripes.
2166
01:38:06,214 --> 01:38:07,849
Now, all we need is
a little bank loan.
2167
01:38:07,849 --> 01:38:09,151
We'll make a fortune.
2168
01:38:09,151 --> 01:38:11,819
Forget it, Willy.
Forget it.
2169
01:38:11,819 --> 01:38:12,988
Willy, please,
forget it.
2170
01:38:12,988 --> 01:38:15,423
I haven't got
any collateral.
2171
01:38:16,758 --> 01:38:18,026
Use the house.
2172
01:38:18,026 --> 01:38:21,229
Use the house?
For collateral?
2173
01:38:21,229 --> 01:38:25,433
Pamela, oh, Pamela,
do I know my women?
2174
01:38:25,433 --> 01:38:26,935
Pamela,
that's why you're my wife.
2175
01:38:26,935 --> 01:38:28,236
That's why I love you.
2176
01:38:28,236 --> 01:38:29,537
Everything I
put you through--
2177
01:38:29,537 --> 01:38:30,939
the discotheque,
the Hong Kong Gardens,
2178
01:38:30,939 --> 01:38:32,574
and yet you
can stand here
2179
01:38:32,574 --> 01:38:33,775
and say,
"Use the house."
2180
01:38:33,775 --> 01:38:37,145
You are really big, Pamela.
2181
01:38:37,145 --> 01:38:39,547
Did you ever
have one of those days?
142505