All language subtitles for Dirty.John.S01E02.iNTERNAL.HDR.1080p.WEB.H265-AMRAP_Track20

[John] New recipe. Experiment.

Orange, mango, carrot, ginger,

and vodka.

[laughs]

[shower running]

Perfect temperature.

[laughs]

[chuckles]

Kale, pineapple,

wheat germ, with a touch of turmeric.

Strawberry, banana and spirulina.

Blueberry,

blackberry, strawberry,

and another kind of berry.

[laughing]

[shower running]

[phone dings]

Oh, man.

When did you take this?

I'll never tell.

Oh, dear God.
How am I supposed to get any work done?

I love you!

Just so I know, does it always
have to be the earliest service?

I mean, I'm totally up for it.
It's just, is that negotiable maybe?

Well, I just, you know...

I find it to be a little bit more peaceful
than the nine o'clock service.

Right. The other one's
more of a scene, huh?

Yeah.

And your mom goes to that one.

Yeah.

-John?
-Yeah.

What is that?

What is what?

That on your finger.

-Whoops!
-[laughs]

You can't... No, I'm serious about this.
You will forget to take it off.

We talked about this because
we want to sit down with everybody

and, you know,
talk it through with them on our terms,

and we don't want them
just to find out about it.

You said that, and I listened
because you're the queen of my life,

but secretly, I want them to know,
and I want them to know now.

And I love you for that, but I just
don't want you to wear it to church.

I could take it off.

Well, please do.

But I won't.

-Please, honey!
-Why don't you take it off?

-I'm trying. Honey, we're gonna be late.
-There it is, take it off.

-John!
-Take it off.

-I will take that off.
-You want to be late?

-No! I want to go to church.
-How late do you wanna be?

How late do you wanna be?

[man] When I think about Christmas

and the season that we're all in,

I think about the ultimate gift.

The gift of love.

It's a love that is wrapped in giving

and not getting.

It's a love that is given,
even though we're not ready to receive it.

You know, it's a sacrificial kind of love.

It's the love that God gave to the world,

for God so loved the world that he gave.

And he was expressing his love to us
in a way that we would reflect his love...

[chuckling]

It's just all that talk about Christmas.
You know, it just got me where I live.

And I expected him to be good,
I just didn't expect him to be that good.

I thought Debbie said
you'd attended services here before.

Yeah, just not with that priest.

Oh.

You mean pastor, not priest.

I don't know about you, Arlane,
but I need a cup of coffee.

-Have you had a cup of coffee today?
-[chuckling] You scamp! You scamp!

Oh, um...

Sorry, excuse me. I'll be right back.

-Who's that? Is that her--
-No, that's my brother-in-law.

-Ex-brother-in-law.
-Your brother-in-law?

[Debra] You know what?
It's gonna take us hours to get out

-of this parking lot.
-Your sister's... Wait.

My ex-brother-in-law.

I'd love to just
get a jump on the traffic.

You don't want to say goodbye?

I can... I can...

I can text her goodbye.

All right.

[John] It's a great day for a hike.
Deer Canyon, maybe?

[Debra chuckling]

I don't know. I'm feeling kind of lazy.

[John] Well, what about a walk?
A nice, slow, flat walk.

[Debra] Okay. A slow, flat walk.
[chuckles]

Hi, friend.

[screams] John!

-Who are you?!
-Shh.

John!

Oh, you're so pretty.

[John] What the hell?!

Stop struggling!

Call 911!

Lay down! Lay down!

[John] Now, what were we about to do?
Go for a walk, hm?

What was she doing here?

I mean, I've never
heard of anything like that

happening in this neighborhood.

You changing your mind?

Do you want to press charges?

No, I...

No, I don't think we need to. I just...

That was really scary.

You know what? Let's go back inside.

Let's take our house back
and not let whatever this was ruin it.

Come on.

Some private investigators
give an initial consultation for free.

That's true.

I don't do that.

Does a free consultation mean
that they're not legit?

I don't know. I don't know them.

How much did you say
your initial deposit was?

Two grand. Billing rates after that
are $150 an hour, plus 67 cents a mile.

You're also responsible
for all additional expenses incurred.

License plate searches,
cell phone reversal searches.

I won't know until I incur them.
But I use PayPal.

You can always dispute the charges
on there.

A minimum of seven hours in advance
plus the deposit,

so call it three grand.

I spoke to someone
who said it's $75 an hour.

Look, there are...

even licensed people out there
who will take your money

and then go right to the person
who you've paid them to investigate

and charge them even more money
to tell you that everything's fine.

So...

just make sure that you trust your gut.

Hm.

I like the tassels.

On your bag.

Kind of like fringe but not.

Thank you.

-Hey.
-Hey.

-[Debra] I know you have your two drawers.
-Here we go.

Well, you know,

as a designer of interiors, it...

physically pains me

that I can't introduce you
to some better organizational system.

Because then it'll be perfect.

It'll totally throw out
my thought process.

There you go, I just closed it.
Now you can't see.

I know, but I still know it's there.

Do you know
when you're going to the bank next?

Uh...

I don't know.
I don't have any plans to go. Why?

Wow.

I work with uninsured patients,

and most uninsured patients pay cash.
I thought you could deposit it for me.

Um...

You want me to deposit that
into my account?

It's less than ten grand
if you're worried about the IRS.

Yeah, speaking of the IRS...

I totally report my income.

-Are you kidding me?
-No, I'm sure.

I have enough problems with them
because of my crazy ex.

I just have to be a little creative
with my accounting, that's all.

-Um...
-You know what?

If you're not comfortable, it's fine.

-I understand.
-No, no.

No, I think, um...

You know what we could do?
I have a little cash here in the house

that I just keep here in case there's
an earthquake, God forbid, or um...

the zombie apocalypse. [laughs]

-As Terra keeps talking about.
-Right.

We'll just...

put it with that.

Perfect.

[Debra] Okay.

How much is it?

I don't know.
Maybe probably 80 or 90,000.

I've been taking a thousand
out of my paycheck now for...

[chuckles]

Okay.

Mom.

-Where's the car?
-Morning, Veronica.

Oh, yes, I'm very well rested.
Thank you for asking.

Is the car in the shop?

No. You can use the Rover,
but you'll have to go out to Balboa.

I can barely see over the dashboard
of the Rover.

God, have you not met me before?

Then maybe you won't drive any car.
Maybe that's what going to happen.

Wait, does he have the Maserati?

Who? He who? John?
Yes, John has the Maserati.

He's doing errands for me today and--

Why is he using your car for that?
Where is his car?

Where is your car?

He uses my car because he does many things
for me during the day

that are very, very helpful,
and he enjoys driving the car.

Does he tell you
actually where he's going?

Yes, I know where he's going.
He's going to run errands.

We should put a tracking device
on the car.

[laughs] Veronica!

Why are you laughing at me?
Don't laugh at me!

-It's not funny.
-Well, sweetheart, a tracker on the car?

-Yes!
-What in the world for?

Because then you'll know the actual deal
and if he's telling the truth or not.

If that's gonna make you feel better,
then let's put a tracker on the car.

You put the tracker on the car, okay?

Mom.

There is something wrong with him.

Do you not see that?

Yes.

I know that's what you think.

You've made it very clear.

You've made it clear to me,
and you've made it clear to John.

We both know,

Veronica, that that's what you think.

Okay.

[John] Why do they even bother
with catalogs

in this day of online shopping?
I don't know.

Well, because I like
to look at the pictures

in the bathtub...

and while I'm having my feet rubbed.

Oh!

A little reflexology.

Yes, please!

Okay.

Starting at your neck.

Hm. Oh, I feel that. [chuckles]

I rented a safe deposit box today.

You know, for like important papers,
birth certificates,

that kind of thing. Wedding rings.

Hm, so you don't accidentally on purpose
wear yours.

[John chuckles]

I think we should probably put the cash
in there, too.

In case there's like a fire, for instance.

I think that that's illegal.

I don't think you can put cash
in those things.

No, that's only
if you're, like, laundering money,

or you can't prove how you got it,
which you can and I can, so...

Yeah.

I don't know. I still like the idea
of having some here, you know?

What if something goes wrong?

That's when we'll worry about it.

Okay.

Speaking of worrying,

I've been thinking about that woman,
the home invader.

Oh, yeah.

I know.

Me too.

I just think
we need a little peace of mind.

-What do you mean?
-Well...

I think we should install
a security system.

You know, some cameras.

Here?

Yeah.

I mean, God forbid there's a next time,
and I didn't do everything I could now.

I'd go crazy.

Hm.

Nancy tells me you don't have cameras
at Madeira as well. I mean...

you've got movers
coming in and out all day.

I know. I know.

I just... I don't know.

I have never ever

remembered a single alarm code
or password in my life. [laughs]

I'll help you remember.

-Oh, you will?
-Hm-mm.

Lucky me! [giggles]

[giggles]

I am obsessed with this.

I'm serious.

-I never want to stop looking at this.
-Oh, good.

Liam kept saying mid-century.

Like he even knew what that meant.

[Debra chuckling]

What I'm thinking now is that you need
to redo his office at Presbyterian, too.

Oh.

Oh, is he not at Laguna Med?

He was going to, until Prez offered him
Head of Urologic Surgery.

Oh, isn't that great?

Oh, wonderful.

Well, you know, if he's at Prez,
he might know my boyfriend.

Oh, my God. You're dating a doctor?

Debra! Oh, my goodness!

You tell me his name right now,
and I'll book our couple's trip to Tulum.

[chuckling]

His name is John Meehan.
Some people say "Mee-han," but...

John Meehan.

Huh. Did he just start at Prez?

Oh, well, he's been there about a year,
but he was in Iraq before that.

Well, Liam would have definitely
mentioned him if he knew that,

"Mr. 86th Combat Support Hospital."

Weird.

[Terra] Does this work?

It's the only one we sell at the clinic.

My boss helped develop the formula,
I guess.

I mean,
it says to use on the face and neck,

but I just used it on my whole body.

You can get more of it, right?

I hope so.

[pop music playing]

-What?
-Christmas is gonna be awful.

You won't be there.

Jimmy won't be there.

I want to see all the kids,
and I want to frost cookies with them,

and watch Rudolph,

and track down Santa's sleigh
on that government website,

and not have to deal with John at all,

and just eat Grandma's
marshmallow, strawberry Santa hats.

[retches]

Gross!

I guess I won't be getting you any.

No, thank you.

What are you doing? What is that?

I'm gonna put this tracker on the Maserati
to see where John goes all day.

-What?
-Yeah, look.

It's syncing now.

Oh, my God.

Well, what did... What did Mom say?

Did you ask her?

I told her she should, or that I should,
and she didn't say no, so...

Well, what about the private detective
you said you were hiring?

Yeah, I'm still figuring that out.

[country music playing]

[footsteps approaching]

You left it on the bed.

-Oh, thank you.
-Hm-mm.

Who's TS? Who the hell's TS?

-T--
-"Can't wait for tomorrow night."

-Who is it?
-It's... It's Toby.

Who's Toby?

It's my... It's my nephew.

Toby Sellars?

They're coming over tomorrow night
to meet you

-with his sons, remember?
-Yeah.

Jonah and Kirby. You went to college
with somebody named Kirby.

-Right. We talked about this.
-Whole conversation.

I bought meat for the grill
because we talked about this. I'm sorry.

[laughing] Yeah!

You were...

-Yeah.
-I'm sorry.

No, it's okay.

I'm part Sicilian on my dad's side,

so sometimes I go off
before I know what's going on.

Descended from the Anastasias.

Albert Anastasia?

The Gambino boss. Founded Murder, Inc.

I...

I... They sound like lovely people.

It's pretty heavy stuff is what it is,

which my dad was really proud of,
for some reason.

Well...

You have your own things to be proud of.

Right?

Do you think maybe
you were a little nervous that...

maybe Toby's not gonna be nice to you,
like Terra

and Ronnie?

'Cause that's not going to happen.

He's a darling.

[John]
They all want to shoot the threes, right?

Exactly. They all want to be Curry, right?

My coach used to say,
"Four passes, then you shoot."

Right. Fundamentals.

Ha!

So...

you still play, or...?

I try to. I mean, in my head,
I'm still hardcore,

but my body's full of metal, so...

no more.

From what?

Oh, I told you, hon. Iraq.

Oh, right, yeah. Iraq.

-[beeping]
-[Debra] Oh!

I think that means dinner might be ready.

-You need a hand, or--
-No, sit.

Hey, boys. Two minutes, okay?

-[boy] There we go.
-[Toby] Two minutes.

[video game continues]

I hope I didn't...

-bring up any bad memories.
-No, it's fine.

Honestly. It's...

-I don't need to relive them again, but--
-Okay.

Yeah. Fast-roping out of a CH-47,

rounds going past my head,

no weapon.

I was fine the first time.

Are you kidding?

They didn't want me carrying a gun
because, technically, you're a doctor.

-You're not a soldier.
-Right.

I mean, you can still die like a soldier.

Flight two, I was armed.

I learned from my mistakes.

Cheers to that.

Cheers.

Here's to swimming with bow-legged women.

You like...

I love Jaws.

-[Toby] Are you kidding?
-We're cheersing.

-[Debra] Oh, okay!
-[Toby] Here.

[Rebecca] Tell me what you think.

I think him coming to all these
family gatherings and everywhere

just makes it seem like he's...

really important and...

permanent,

when it's only been like two months.

[Rebecca] Okay.

What about you, Debra?

Well...

he is important to me.

And...

you know, I think sometimes

that's hard for you to accept,

so you try to make him feel...

excluded or...

not welcome.

I don't know, so maybe he'll leave?

But he's not leaving.

What might be actual things
that we could do

to make this event more tolerable

for each of you?

Well, I would just love
if you would treat John

with the same respect and politeness

that you would treat anybody.

[Rebecca] What do you think of that?

It's fine.

As long as he stays away
from Annie and Tyler.

-Why would he do that?
-Why does he have to play with them?

-Why would he stay away from--
-But why does he need

to pretend to be their friend?

-Because it's Christmas time!
-Who is that for?

-It's not for them, so why do it?
-It's Christmas.

Can you try to explain a little more
what you're thinking, Terra.

Because...

when...

Mom and John break up,

the kids will be confused.

They won't...

understand where he went,

or why.

You know, and they'll just...

blame themselves.

Just like I always did.

Every time.

When I was their age...

and...

the same thing would happen to me.

Do you think that's a reasonable request,
Debra?

I... Well, I don't, really.

But do you think you can honor it?

I guess I could.

♪ Sleigh bells ring ♪

♪ Are you listening? ♪

♪ In the lane ♪

♪ Snow is glistening... ♪

I got it. It's all right.

Thanks, Santa.

Don't forget this.

Really?

Okay.

All right.

So cute!

Let's go.

Come on.

♪ As we go along ♪

-♪ Walking in a winter wonderland... ♪
-Ho, ho, ho!

♪ In the meadow, we can build a snowman ♪

♪ Then pretend that he is Parson Brown ♪

♪ He'll say, "Are you married?"
We'll say, "No, man" ♪

♪ But you can do the job
when you're in town... ♪

Grandma made Santa hats.
See? They're Santa hats!

-Anybody home?
-Hi!

-Merry Christmas!
-Ho, ho, ho.

[Arlane] It's Santa!

Hey!

Oh, you guys are strong.

[Debra] Hi, sweetie.
How are you? Put them under the tree.

Oh, gentle. Gentle!

-[Arlane] Oh, my goodness!
-[Debra] Hi!

[Arlane] Thank you, Santa.
Say thank you to Santa.

-[kids] Thanks, Santa!
-[John] No problem.

Hi. Hi, sweetheart. How are you?

Terra! Terra!

Terra!

-[John] What about candy canes?
-[door slams]

-[Debra] Oh!
-I'll talk to her.

Oh, John looks so handsome.

[chuckling]

You did good. Okay, I'll bring her back.

Oh, thanks, Mom.

[John] Careful. Close one there.

-[Debra] Oh, look at that!
-[John] A little candy cane action.

[Terra sobbing]

Terra.

Terra.

I need you to come back in.

[sobbing] She told me that she'll keep him
away from them.

I went...

with her to Rebecca...

and she... she promised me.

Keep...

Keep him away from the kids?

[Toby] Well, why would
that be her condition? I mean...

Is she saying there's something
inappropriate with the kids?

Oh, no.

You know she doesn't care
if John hangs out with the kids.

He's wonderful with children.

No.

The kids are an excuse
so that she doesn't look selfish

'cause she doesn't want him around.

♪ Being sung by a choir... ♪

[whispering] You did kind of...

set him up, though.
You had him come in with the bags.

He was being a gentleman.

I mean, those bags were heavy.
I didn't think he was gonna...

[chuckles] I certainly wasn't going
to be carrying those bags in!

No.

Terra, no. This is awful.

Oh, for the life of me, I can't...

You asked her to do what?

And now look at you.
You're in here crying. It just...

You missed Thanksgiving,

and I know that hurt you.

And I know it hurt me.

And now here you go again.

Anyway, I...

It's just... It's too much.

It's too much, honey.
Don't you see that?

I know that you don't like him, but...

he loves your mama.

Come on, please.

It's Christmas.

Ronnie and Terra have not given him
one single chance,

not from the very first minute
that they met him.

And I have decided

I am not gonna let them dictate
the terms of this relationship.

Not this time.

[chuckles]

I think I'll go check on the turkey.

That's a good idea.

♪ So I'm offering this simple phrase ♪

♪ To kids from one to 92 ♪

♪ Although it's been said ♪

♪ Many times, many ways

♪ Merry Christmas ♪

-♪ Merry Christmas... ♪
-[clicking, beeping]

♪ Merry Christmas ♪

♪ To you... ♪

-Thanks for waiting.
-Sure thing.

[knocking on door]

[Nancy] Hey!

-Merry belated Christmas.
-What are you doing here?

I thought you were in Sedona.

Well, plumbing-related issue at the condo,
so...

-Oh, no!
-Yeah.

How was your holiday?
Are you loving the new place?

We're loving it. It's great.

-You are?
-Yeah.

Does John feel better
now that the cameras are set up?

He does, hm-mm, yeah.

And, you know,
it's great for the insurance rates.

Yeah. Um...

Not everyone here
is the happiest about it, though.

-Oh, no.
-It's just, they...

They feel like
maybe you don't trust them or something.

Oh, of course I trust them.
You have to tell them.

-I can't because then they'll know I told.
-Well, no...

I mean, we had a break-in.

-Oh!
-We had this homeless woman

just in our house,

so, yeah, that's what got us thinking
about security and everything.

Okay. So you have these cameras
at your house, too?

-Yeah.
-Oh, well, that's fun at least.

Oh, we love ours.
We spy on Darryl all day long.

Oh!

Darryl the dog?

Oh, yeah. You can watch him
from your phone.

Oh, I didn't know that you could do that.

Oh, yeah. I mean, I do it.

You know, could I put that on my...
Can I do it on my phone?

You want me to download it for you?

-Yeah. I mean, yeah, that'd be great.
-Sure. It's easy. Here...

-Hey, is Jimmy even back yet?
-No, not till next week, but...

So what?

I'd rather spend New Year's Eve alone
in Vegas

than here with everyone asking me
why can't I just relax?

Like telling anyone to relax

ever actually made anyone feel relaxed.

I just want everyone
to be happy all together.

Tell me anything I just said.

I never told you to relax,

and I don't want
everybody to be happy together.

So where does he go?

I mean, he goes to the hospital,

to the dry cleaner's,

to the gym. That gross taco place, too.

But what does this mean?

-I just don't get it.
-It means nothing.

But it has only been six days.

[Terra sighs]

But, yeah, right now, it means nothing.

Mmm!

One time, this buddy and I,

we think we're tequila guys,
so we do a blind taste test

of all these high-end reposados,

and somebody sneaks in
the big-box store house brand.

Guess which one we all pick.

Yeah, but that doesn't mean
you're not a tequila guy.

It just means
the big-box brand can hang now.

-Exactly.
-Right?

What's your drink?

Oh, me? I'm just a...

I'm just a beer guy. Pretty simple.

My dad was a brown liquor guy, bourbon.

What about yours?

Uh...

What was your dad's drink?

[Debra] Okay. Don't fill up on chips.

If one of you wants to come help me
carry these dishes in, we'll be ready.

-I'll do it.
-You got it?

[John] Let me ask you a question.

Does Ronnie give you a hard time?

'Cause she seriously has it in for me.

No, she probably just wants to make sure
you're in this thing for real.

-You know? The right reasons.
-That's what I keep saying.

You know, if you want to win over Ronnie,
just don't leave.

[Toby] Right.

Either that, or I could take her out
with a Winchester .30-06

and a 1,000-yard head shot.

What?

John!

[laughs]

Is that a joke?

I mean, you told him what happened, right?

Oh, I wasn't thinking about your mom.
I was just...

Oh, my God. No, I'm sorry.

I was just thinking Newport Beach,
Republican gun country.

I'm sorry. It was not funny.

Not funny.

Yeah, yeah.

I got it.

Maybe one of you could come help
with the sauces.

Yeah, I'll do that. Hey, it's fine.

Damn it!

[beeping]

[woman] Yes. [laughs]

I know, right?

Oh, my God,

I swear, I would not get married again
if it cured cancer. [laughs]

[forced laughter]

-I gotta go.
-I have a bag.

Okay.

-Did you check our website to see--
-Yes, I did.

Okay. And what condition is it in?

Pristine would mean no marks.
Excellent, one mark.

-More than two marks--
-I have a silver Chanel milk carton bag.

-No, you don't.
-Oh, but I do.

Quilted sides, palladium hardware,
authenticity card,

booklet, gift box and dust bag,
and it's in pristine condition, so...

-We'll buy it.
-Yeah, you will.

And I'll tell you for exactly how much.

He might have paid a service to push
his name down in search engine rankings,

or to pull other John Meehans
who aren't him up,

but I found a recent previous address
I'm excited about,

and I'm about to make a deep dive
into public records now, so...

-[camera shutter clicking]
-You're gonna go out there?

I thought
that's what you're paying me for.

I'm paying you to find things.

[Veronica] I've still got to figure out
what to do with them when you do.

I try not to read a book by its cover,
you know.

I hear something about someone,
I want to...

judge them for myself.

But maybe...

You know, he said a messed-up thing,
but he might just be a messed-up guy.

Maybe he has emotional issues

from being over there.

He might just need our help.

[woman] It's not here anymore.

[Veronica] Okay.
When it was, he was living here?

[woman] Definitely.

[dog barking]

Stop barking, Larry!

Um, so he was living here in 2016?

Yep.

And he kept it parked here
when he was in Iraq?

Why do you keep saying that?

-Saying what?
-That John was in Iraq.

Because this is on record as his residence
when he was over there.

What?

Are you saying he wasn't there?

[woman] Ever?

I don't know.

I'm just saying he wasn't in Iraq
when you keep saying he was.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

I am really, really sure.

[woman] Hard to believe?

Wouldn't be if you knew him better,

and I knew him really, really well.

[Debra] Hi. [chuckles]

-Hey.
-Hey.

[Toby] How are you?

-Oh, I'm good.
-Good.

I am so glad that you called.

-Yeah.
-We haven't had lunch

-at the yacht club in years.
-I know.

How was New Year's Eve?

Yeah. It was...

It was okay.

Oh.

Okay.

-What's the matter?
-I need to talk to you.

Okay.

About John.

Toby...

I swear, he did not mean...

-No, no, no.
-...to say something so terrible,

-and he doesn't know you well enough yet.
-You're right.

He doesn't know me,
I don't know him, and you...

-you don't know him, either.
-Well, I do know him.

No, you don't.

I do, hon.

-I do.
-What if I told you

that he wasn't in Iraq?

-Hm? That the storage locker...
-He was in Iraq.

...that he told you about is actually
an RV that he lived in in Cathedral City.

What about that?

Honey, have you been talking to Veronica?

We hired someone.

A private detective.

And we did it because we love you
and because we're scared.

Why would you hire a private detective?

Because we need to know why he's lying.

We need to figure out
why he's lying to you.

Oh, you...

You kids!

Huh.

I...

I don't really know what to say.

John is not a perfect person.

He's not,

and I know that,
and he's been very honest about that.

But I love him because...

he's a good man.

And I see that.

So I'm gonna go on home.

[knocking on door]

-Well, hi! Did I know you were coming?
-[laughing]

Hi, Mom.

[Arlane] John's just so...

-He's so courteous, you know?
-Yeah.

He's just what my mama
would have called "gallant."

Yes.

I said "chivalrous..."

-Yes.
-...to Ronnie.

Yes, chivalrous.
Very, very kind and considerate.

-I saw that immediately.
-Hm-mm.

[ringing]

[footsteps approaching]

Hey, buddy. How's it going?

-Is Aunt Debbie here?
-No.

She went out. She'll be back soon.
You want to come in, have a beer?

No, it's okay. I'll try her cell.

[Arlane] He's so much fun to be with.

I like people who make people laugh.

He has a very cute sense of humor.

Oh, he's so goofy, Mom. [laughing]

-I haven't seen that yet. [chuckles]
-Well, we have fun.

Hey, man, if you're feeling weird
about the other day,

-I understand.
-I don't feel weird at all. It's okay.

I'll just keep trying her.

You really want to talk to her.
What's going on?

What's the problem?

You.

[Debra] Every man I was ever with,

every single one, at some time or another,
would say, "Oh...

If you'd have asked me, I'd have done it."

Oh! Hm.

-I don't want to tell you.
-[laughing]

I want you just to know and to do it.

And John...

just... He just does it.

He just knows.

Isn't that something?

I found out some things about you.

You weren't in Iraq.

You lived in a trailer park.

You don't have...

homes.

You don't even have a medical license.

Prove it.

Prove anything
that you've told Aunt Debbie.

You can't.

[Debra] He's just so good to me.
He gives me so much.

And you know...

-my girls--
-Oh, gosh.

Oh, God bless them. I love them so much.

But they...

I mean, they hate him, Mom.

And now they've got Toby hating him, too.

They'll come around. They will.

They have to because...

I think this is it for you.

Yes. I do, too.

-You should probably go.
-I'm gonna tell her everything.

You hear me?

Everything.

Whatever it is that you think you're
doing here, I'm gonna be right here.

I will be right here waiting, pal.

You know what?

You worry about your own sad life.
I'll worry about Debbie.

Okay? You don't have an aunt anymore.

Don't you get that?

I have a wife.

We're married now.

You threaten her, you threaten me.

Please.

That's a joke, right?

You're not married.

Hm-mm.

You know what?

This is embarrassing.

Really. I mean, come on.

I'd be embarrassed to be such a loser.

You should be glad
your dad killed your mom

so she didn't have to be around
to see this. Have a great day, Toby.

I'm so glad you like him, Mom.

I love him.

I love him because he loves you

and because he takes
such good care of you.

And because he looked
so handsome at Christmas.

[laughs]

Mom!

Bye, sweetie.

-Thanks, Mom.
-Okay.

-[Arlane] Love you, too.
-[Debra] Bye.

Hey, wife.

How was your day?

Long.

How was yours?

It was good.

[John yawns]

I'm gonna get the mail.

-[gasps]
-Did you open my mail?

Hm?

How dare you?

[Debra] I...

It's a felony to open someone's mail.

[door slams]

I don't know what that was.

I don't know what just happened, okay?

This guy is an Army vet.

A young guy.

I met him. He came in for neck surgery.
He has issues.

He's in the can for a robbery.

So I try and help him out, you know?

I send him care packages,
moral support, that kind of thing.

I don't know why
I didn't just tell you that.

I don't know why I keep testing you.

Just, Deb, please.

Don't let me do this.

Don't let my fear ruin us.

[shower running]

[theme music playing]