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1
00:00:08,530 --> 00:00:10,923
Guys, I did it!
2
00:00:10,967 --> 00:00:13,317
Yay!Amazing!
3
00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:15,276
You have no ideawhat I'm talking about, do you?
4
00:00:16,712 --> 00:00:19,062
I got the liquor company
to sign off on my big idea.
5
00:00:19,106 --> 00:00:20,237
Oh, come on.
6
00:00:20,281 --> 00:00:22,196
I told you about itlast night.
7
00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:24,067
You said, "Wear something cute."
8
00:00:24,111 --> 00:00:26,852
Oh. I always say that
when I'm not listening.
9
00:00:26,896 --> 00:00:28,680
Refresh our memory,
so we can join
10
00:00:28,724 --> 00:00:30,334
in your excitement, please?
11
00:00:30,378 --> 00:00:32,858
So, on St. Patrick's Day,
I was doing a...
12
00:00:32,902 --> 00:00:35,078
let's call it
a-a research crawl. [chuckles]
13
00:00:35,122 --> 00:00:37,211
And I noticed thatall the really packed bars
14
00:00:37,254 --> 00:00:38,864
had liquor sponsorships.
15
00:00:38,908 --> 00:00:41,780
So, long story short,
I got one for Mitzi's.
16
00:00:41,824 --> 00:00:43,782
And they saidI could keep the sponsorship fee
17
00:00:43,826 --> 00:00:45,088
as a bonus. [chuckles]
18
00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:47,482
Ooh. What kind of bonus
are we talking?
19
00:00:47,525 --> 00:00:48,831
"New Mercedes" bonus
20
00:00:48,874 --> 00:00:51,399
or "the story wasn't worth it"
bonus?
21
00:00:51,442 --> 00:00:54,054
More like a "baby rhino" bonus.
22
00:00:54,097 --> 00:00:55,707
Oh, I don't think
that's very practical, Jackie.
23
00:00:55,751 --> 00:00:57,535
You see, I used to own
two baby rhinos.
24
00:00:57,579 --> 00:00:59,755
And they're great, like,for the first couple of months,
25
00:00:59,798 --> 00:01:04,238
and then you're basicallydealing with full-sized rhinos.
26
00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:06,240
I'm not buying one.
27
00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:08,633
We're gonna visit one
at the San Diego Zoo.
28
00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:11,419
Sammy's been obsessedwith their new baby rhino,
29
00:01:11,462 --> 00:01:12,942
and I want to take him there.
30
00:01:12,985 --> 00:01:14,552
We never get to take a vacation,
31
00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:17,120
but with this bonus,
we could actually go.
32
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:20,080
Well, wear something cute.
33
00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:21,777
Uh, what event is
the sponsorship for?
34
00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:23,300
Oh, you're gonna love this.
Oh.
35
00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:25,128
Cinco de Mayo.[chuckles]
36
00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:26,782
Uh-oh.
37
00:01:28,653 --> 00:01:30,960
Cinco de Mayo, you say?
38
00:01:31,003 --> 00:01:32,962
Yeah. And I'm gonna needeverybody's help at Mitzi's.
39
00:01:33,005 --> 00:01:35,443
Oh, super easy. All you haveto do is push some tequila,
40
00:01:35,486 --> 00:01:37,140
and we're gonna hang upsome Mexican decoration...
41
00:01:37,184 --> 00:01:38,141
May I?
42
00:01:39,969 --> 00:01:42,145
Ooh. Mustache sticks.
43
00:01:43,712 --> 00:01:46,628
And-and mini novelty sombreros.
44
00:01:46,671 --> 00:01:48,151
This is perfect
45
00:01:48,195 --> 00:01:50,153
to celebrate Cinco de Mayo.
46
00:01:51,981 --> 00:01:54,331
Which is a celebration
of what again?
47
00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:58,335
Mexican Independence Day,right?
48
00:01:58,379 --> 00:02:00,163
Uh-oh.
49
00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:02,644
No. No, Jacqueline.
50
00:02:02,687 --> 00:02:05,037
[speaking Spanish angrily]
51
00:02:05,081 --> 00:02:07,083
[shouting in Spanish]
52
00:02:15,744 --> 00:02:18,007
So I'm guessing
that's a no.
53
00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:21,619
Luis, could you pleaseMex-plain the actual history
54
00:02:21,663 --> 00:02:23,708
of Cinco de Mayoto Jacqueline?
55
00:02:23,752 --> 00:02:26,711
Cinco de Mayo celebratesthe Battle of Puebla,
56
00:02:26,755 --> 00:02:28,974
when an undermanned bandof Mexican fighters
57
00:02:29,018 --> 00:02:31,107
defeated a much largerFrench army.
58
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,413
Mexican independence
was declared
59
00:02:32,456 --> 00:02:34,415
more than 50 years earlier.[Javier snaps fingers]
60
00:02:34,458 --> 00:02:35,633
Exactly.
61
00:02:35,677 --> 00:02:37,592
Cinco de Mayo's
barely observed in Mexico.
62
00:02:37,635 --> 00:02:40,508
But, here, they make it acelebration of Mexican culture.
63
00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:42,510
Which would be
a beautiful thing,
64
00:02:42,553 --> 00:02:46,557
except no one knows what
the hell they're celebrating!
65
00:02:46,601 --> 00:02:47,819
Hey. Hey.
66
00:02:47,863 --> 00:02:49,821
The whole commercialization
of Cinco de Mayo
67
00:02:49,865 --> 00:02:52,998
was driven by the American beercompanies in the late 1980s.
68
00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:54,739
And we're both very upset
about it.
69
00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:56,176
[mouthing]
70
00:02:57,394 --> 00:02:59,962
Wow. I had no idea.Mm.
71
00:03:00,005 --> 00:03:02,443
I-I was gonna ask you
to be the emcee,
72
00:03:02,486 --> 00:03:03,966
but I understand if thatwould make you comfortable.
73
00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:05,185
The emcee?
74
00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:06,577
In other words, a chance
75
00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:08,884
to properly teach
the people of Reseda?
76
00:03:08,927 --> 00:03:11,060
Well, uh,
more like welcome them,
77
00:03:11,103 --> 00:03:14,542
make sure they're drinking,host a pepper eating contest...
78
00:03:14,585 --> 00:03:16,674
Which I will do, along
with crowd-friendly jokes
79
00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:18,285
and educational songs.
80
00:03:18,328 --> 00:03:20,374
I didn't say songs.You didn't have to.
81
00:03:21,418 --> 00:03:23,420
♪
82
00:03:25,553 --> 00:03:28,077
I just miss the dayswhen Cinco de Mayo
83
00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,340
was simply five daysbefore Mother's Day.
84
00:03:30,384 --> 00:03:31,863
Ooh, Mother's Day.
85
00:03:31,907 --> 00:03:34,562
I wonder what Bijou's
going to get me this year.Mm.
86
00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:36,912
I'm just rememberinghow my whole family
87
00:03:36,955 --> 00:03:39,567
will celebrate mi mamáat ourbeach house for Mother's Day,
88
00:03:39,610 --> 00:03:42,265
which everyonewill be doing this year...
89
00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:44,006
without me.
90
00:03:44,049 --> 00:03:46,269
You know, maybe not.
91
00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:47,923
My little
birds told me
92
00:03:47,966 --> 00:03:49,751
that your Abuela Rosa
told Tía Carla
93
00:03:49,794 --> 00:03:52,493
that your mamátold Gia
at Paprika Hair Salon
94
00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:55,191
that she wishes to see
you this Mother's Day.
95
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,410
Really?Really.
96
00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:58,194
You should e-mail her.
97
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,414
You won't be asking for anything
except for a plane ticket
98
00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:01,937
followed by a short
speedboat to land,
99
00:04:01,980 --> 00:04:03,765
where Jeff Probst will
take you to the house
100
00:04:03,808 --> 00:04:05,767
in time for the
family games.
101
00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:07,943
Thank you, mi corazón.I will write to her.
102
00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:10,337
And then I'll get to workon my Cinco de Mayo performance
103
00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:12,513
for Jackie.Not a performance.
104
00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:14,776
Thanks for watching Sammy.
105
00:04:14,819 --> 00:04:16,125
Oh. No problem.
106
00:04:16,168 --> 00:04:19,781
Um, although could we talk
real quick outside?
107
00:04:19,824 --> 00:04:21,348
Yeah. Sure.
108
00:04:23,698 --> 00:04:26,788
I just-- I, uh, you know,
wanted to talk to you about
109
00:04:26,831 --> 00:04:30,357
how, the other day,
we almost, you know...
110
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:31,967
kissed.
111
00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:34,448
I've been thinking
about that, too.
112
00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:35,753
Really?Yeah.
113
00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:38,756
[chuckles]: That would've been
a huge mistake.
114
00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:42,891
Exactly.
115
00:04:42,934 --> 00:04:45,241
Oh. Yeah. That's what
I was gonna say, too.
116
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,547
So that's... Yeah.
117
00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:48,070
And I know what
my reasons are.
118
00:04:48,113 --> 00:04:51,856
So, just kind of curious
what your reasons are.
119
00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:53,336
Well, I mean, you know,
120
00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:55,556
it's just that being a couple
does not work for us.
121
00:04:55,599 --> 00:04:57,340
But hatingeach other
122
00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:58,689
sucks, too.
123
00:04:58,733 --> 00:05:00,082
So,
124
00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:01,997
I was thinkingmaybe we could
125
00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:03,912
just be friends.
126
00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:05,522
Crazy.
127
00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:08,438
'Cause that-- I was just about
to friend zone you, too.
128
00:05:08,482 --> 00:05:10,310
Jinx.[both chuckle]
129
00:05:10,353 --> 00:05:12,050
Well, it's perfect now.
130
00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:13,617
Perfect now.Hmm.
131
00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:15,315
Friends.[chuckles]Friends it is.
132
00:05:15,358 --> 00:05:16,620
Jinx again.[chuckles]
133
00:05:16,664 --> 00:05:17,621
[mutters]
134
00:05:17,665 --> 00:05:19,928
Okay. Mm.Okay. All right.
135
00:05:28,023 --> 00:05:29,154
Testing, testing.
Uno, dos. Uno, dos.
136
00:05:29,198 --> 00:05:30,765
Generalísimo Ignacio Zaragoza.
137
00:05:30,808 --> 00:05:34,377
♪ Generalísimo
Ignacio Zaragoza!♪
138
00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:35,770
Where can we
plug this in?
139
00:05:35,813 --> 00:05:37,380
Mom said to find an outlet
over there,
140
00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:38,860
but make sure
your hands are dry.
141
00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:47,129
[electricity buzzing]
142
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:52,134
That wasn't terrifying at all.
143
00:05:52,177 --> 00:05:53,788
Oh, amazing news!
144
00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:56,007
I just got a textfrom my Tío Chuey
145
00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:57,574
that mi papá'spilot,Guillermo,
146
00:05:57,618 --> 00:05:59,184
told him that my fatheris considering
147
00:05:59,228 --> 00:06:00,360
my Mother's Day request.
148
00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:01,665
Tell Guillermo
I said hi.
149
00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:04,320
Yes.But not Chuey.
150
00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:07,845
Sammy, remember,
when the bar opens,
151
00:06:07,889 --> 00:06:09,673
I'm gonna need you to
hang out in the office.
152
00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:12,372
Yeah, things aregonna get weird, son.
153
00:06:14,939 --> 00:06:16,288
Wow.
154
00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:17,899
Broke out the old poncho.
155
00:06:17,942 --> 00:06:19,857
You bet I did.
156
00:06:19,901 --> 00:06:21,903
You know,
157
00:06:21,946 --> 00:06:23,557
Cinco de Mayo's
a big day for us.
158
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:26,124
Remember, we-we first hooked upon Cinco de Mayo.
159
00:06:26,168 --> 00:06:29,084
Mostly I remember Seis de Mayo
being a day full of regret.
160
00:06:29,127 --> 00:06:30,302
[chuckles]
161
00:06:30,346 --> 00:06:33,131
Listen, I knowthat I amigo zoned you,
162
00:06:33,175 --> 00:06:36,439
but, since it's Cinco,we can make an exception.
163
00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:39,399
Friends but, you know,with benefits?
164
00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:41,226
Nope. Just like my job,
165
00:06:41,270 --> 00:06:44,055
this friendship
has no benefits.
166
00:06:44,099 --> 00:06:45,753
Great. You passed the test.
167
00:06:45,796 --> 00:06:47,755
You've seen me at my sexiest,and you've resisted.
168
00:06:47,798 --> 00:06:49,321
Nice job, friend.
169
00:06:49,365 --> 00:06:51,411
DEREK:Attention, everyone.
170
00:06:51,454 --> 00:06:53,587
I'd like to introduce you
to a very special lady.
171
00:06:53,630 --> 00:06:56,459
This is Paula Perezfrom Uncle Juan's Tequilla.
172
00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:58,635
Whatever she wants, she gets.
173
00:06:58,679 --> 00:07:02,987
'Cause I'm the manager
of allof this.
174
00:07:04,380 --> 00:07:05,947
Paula, I'm Jackie.[chuckles]
175
00:07:05,990 --> 00:07:08,428
It's so nice to finally
meet you in person.
176
00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:11,039
Derek, why don't you take
that big, giant check
177
00:07:11,082 --> 00:07:12,519
and put it upstairs
in the office.
178
00:07:12,562 --> 00:07:15,130
I don't have to do
what she says.
179
00:07:15,173 --> 00:07:17,175
Because I'm the boss here.
180
00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:21,223
Do you want me to tell your mom
you're not listening to me?
181
00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:22,920
I do not.
182
00:07:24,008 --> 00:07:25,619
Sorry.
[chuckles]
183
00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:27,229
He's, um...
184
00:07:27,272 --> 00:07:30,580
Anyway, um, thank you
for sponsoring us.
185
00:07:30,624 --> 00:07:32,016
And, actually,
here's our emcee.
186
00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:33,104
Paula, meet Javier.
187
00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:34,758
Hi, Javier.
188
00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:36,586
Hi.Just remember to
keep things fun.
189
00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:39,720
Because isn't fun what thisholiday is all about? [chuckles]
190
00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:43,158
Eh, actually, it's aboutan outnumbered Mexican army
191
00:07:43,201 --> 00:07:46,683
defeating a seasonedFrench army in a battle.
192
00:07:46,727 --> 00:07:49,207
I think we're saying
the same thing.
193
00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:51,775
Anyway, here's your script.Ah.
194
00:07:51,819 --> 00:07:53,777
Stick to that, and
you'll get your bonus.Oh.
195
00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:56,954
I assure you, he will say
every one of those words.
196
00:07:56,998 --> 00:07:59,957
Yes. I have also preparedsome things to add to your words
197
00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:02,656
to give people, uh,an authentic taste of Mexico.
198
00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:05,528
Okay. But at Uncle Juan's,
we usually stay away from words
199
00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:07,922
like "authentic"
and "taste."
200
00:08:07,965 --> 00:08:10,359
You also stay awayfrom correct spelling.
201
00:08:10,402 --> 00:08:12,709
Uh, there is only one "L"in "tequila."
202
00:08:12,753 --> 00:08:16,104
[laughs] Well, Uncle Juan's
isn't technically tequila.
203
00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:17,888
I won't bore you
with the details,
204
00:08:17,932 --> 00:08:19,542
but it's not
made in Mexico,
205
00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:21,762
and it's not made with agave.
206
00:08:21,805 --> 00:08:24,765
[both speaking Spanishangrily]
207
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,116
Remember, this
is for Sammy.
208
00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:30,901
Show the people at Uncle
Juan's some respect.Yes.
209
00:08:30,945 --> 00:08:33,556
And go hawk that crap.
210
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,777
♪
211
00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:38,518
[cheering and applause]
212
00:08:42,913 --> 00:08:46,308
Welcome to Cinco de Mayo
at Mitzi's!
213
00:08:46,351 --> 00:08:49,572
Brought to you
by Uncle Juan's Tequilla.
214
00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:51,966
Okay, who's readyto party?!
215
00:08:52,009 --> 00:08:53,794
[cheering]
216
00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:56,753
And get educated
about Mexican history?!
217
00:08:56,797 --> 00:08:58,146
Nobody.
218
00:08:58,189 --> 00:08:59,190
[laughs]
219
00:09:00,801 --> 00:09:02,150
Okay.
220
00:09:02,193 --> 00:09:05,501
Well, now here's a song
about Benito Juárez
221
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,982
sung to the tune of
"Cielito Lindo."
222
00:09:08,025 --> 00:09:09,157
Enjoy.
223
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:13,988
♪ Benito Juárez
224
00:09:14,031 --> 00:09:17,687
♪ Was the Mexican presidente...♪
225
00:09:18,688 --> 00:09:19,994
[exhales]
226
00:09:20,037 --> 00:09:21,909
What's with the face?
227
00:09:21,952 --> 00:09:23,606
You didn't drink
this stuff, did you?
228
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,173
I just accidentally
spilled some,
229
00:09:25,216 --> 00:09:28,524
and it stripped the
paint off the floor.
230
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,613
No. Look down there.
231
00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:32,659
Barry is supposed
to be working.
232
00:09:32,702 --> 00:09:35,009
He's being
totally unprofessional.
233
00:09:35,052 --> 00:09:37,968
Yeah, this bar is all
about professionalism.
234
00:09:40,884 --> 00:09:45,846
♪ But the Mexican army
was not as easy ♪
235
00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:50,633
♪ To beat as it seemed!
236
00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:52,113
Muchas gracias!
237
00:09:52,156 --> 00:09:54,637
[shouts] Viva México![cheering and applause]
238
00:09:56,247 --> 00:09:57,858
Now, every time I hit this,
239
00:09:57,901 --> 00:10:00,861
everybody takes a shot
of Uncle Juan's Tequilla!
240
00:10:00,904 --> 00:10:01,862
[air horn blows]
241
00:10:01,905 --> 00:10:03,472
[cheering]
242
00:10:03,515 --> 00:10:04,691
JACKIE:Look at him,
243
00:10:04,734 --> 00:10:08,042
with his stupid ponchoand his stupid charm.
244
00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:09,870
ELIZABETH:Wait,
245
00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:11,480
why do you care?
246
00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:13,308
[gasps]
247
00:10:13,351 --> 00:10:15,092
Did you guys hook up?
248
00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:16,572
No.
249
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,313
But we did almost kiss.
250
00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:19,749
What? Why didn't you tell me?
251
00:10:19,793 --> 00:10:21,229
'Cause you never listenwhen I talk.
252
00:10:21,272 --> 00:10:23,884
Well, you finally have
something interesting to say.
253
00:10:23,927 --> 00:10:26,495
The thing is
I don't want to be with him,
254
00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:28,889
but I don't want him
to be with anybody else.
255
00:10:28,932 --> 00:10:30,412
Is that nuts?
256
00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:31,979
Not at all.
257
00:10:32,022 --> 00:10:33,981
I told Javi
that if I die before him
258
00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:35,591
and he decides
to see someone else,
259
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:39,421
I will come back as a ghost
and curse his penis.
260
00:10:39,464 --> 00:10:41,118
I just got a text.
261
00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:43,643
Javier is not invited
for Mother's Day.
262
00:10:43,686 --> 00:10:45,514
His father wants him
to prove himself worthy
263
00:10:45,557 --> 00:10:47,124
before being invited back
to spend time
264
00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:49,910
with the family and Jeff Probst.
265
00:10:49,953 --> 00:10:51,520
Oh, no.
266
00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:53,653
Do you think Javi's
father's contacted him yet?
267
00:10:53,696 --> 00:10:55,916
I'm gonna go with yes.
268
00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:57,961
[band playing sad music]
269
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,535
Tragically, one year
after the Battle of Puebla,
270
00:11:06,578 --> 00:11:08,798
the French took over Mexico.
271
00:11:08,842 --> 00:11:13,281
Which proves nothing matters
and everything is terrible.
272
00:11:17,067 --> 00:11:20,505
Except the taste
of Uncle Juan's Tequilla.
273
00:11:22,246 --> 00:11:25,728
What doesn't tequila
makes you stronger.
274
00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:28,470
What the hell's going onwith your emcee?
275
00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:30,167
People are getting depressed,
276
00:11:30,211 --> 00:11:32,735
and not in a waythat makes them drink more.
277
00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:35,042
If you want your bonus,you better fix this.
278
00:11:35,085 --> 00:11:36,521
I'm on it.
279
00:11:36,565 --> 00:11:38,480
We will get back on
track. Don't worry.
280
00:11:38,523 --> 00:11:41,744
And I'm sorry if poncho
guy is bothering you.
281
00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:43,920
Oh, no, I think he's cute.
282
00:11:43,964 --> 00:11:46,749
Can you believe he's divorced?
283
00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:49,143
Who would give that up?
284
00:11:49,186 --> 00:11:50,797
JAVIER:Okay, what's next?
285
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:53,974
Ah. The pepper eating contest.
286
00:11:56,063 --> 00:11:58,239
Who cares?Stop. Stop.
287
00:11:58,282 --> 00:12:00,763
Hi, everyone.
We're gonna take a quick break
288
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:02,765
while I splash some water
on the big guy here.
289
00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:04,898
Luis, can you
please take over?
290
00:12:04,941 --> 00:12:06,508
It is...[sighs]
291
00:12:06,551 --> 00:12:09,511
not really... my thing, but...
292
00:12:09,554 --> 00:12:12,514
All right, everyone!
293
00:12:12,557 --> 00:12:15,125
Hey! It's time for Uncle Juan's
294
00:12:15,169 --> 00:12:18,215
$1,000 hot pepper eating
challenge!
295
00:12:18,259 --> 00:12:20,217
[cheering]
296
00:12:20,261 --> 00:12:22,698
Let's meet our
contestants.
297
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,831
Just three white people?
298
00:12:24,874 --> 00:12:27,137
Just start already.
299
00:12:27,181 --> 00:12:28,835
Come on.
Surely there's a Mexican here
300
00:12:28,878 --> 00:12:30,532
who wants to compete.
301
00:12:30,575 --> 00:12:32,229
I don't know why they'd dare.
302
00:12:32,273 --> 00:12:36,364
Max Lefleur has never lost
a pepper eating challenge.
303
00:12:36,407 --> 00:12:37,974
Lefleur?
304
00:12:38,018 --> 00:12:39,541
You're French?
305
00:12:39,584 --> 00:12:42,152
Well, I don't think
you're allowed to ask that,
306
00:12:42,196 --> 00:12:43,719
but oui.
307
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,590
Come on!
308
00:12:45,634 --> 00:12:48,768
A French person can't win
on Cinco de Mayo!
309
00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:52,336
When did I start
caring about this?
310
00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:54,251
Javi, come on.Pull yourself together.
311
00:12:54,295 --> 00:12:56,558
Why? I have been
rejected by my family.
312
00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:59,430
[scoffs]Not your entire family.
313
00:12:59,474 --> 00:13:03,217
Not me, not Luis,not Sammy, not Jackie.
314
00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:06,220
Come on. Don't just feel sorryfor yourself and give up.
315
00:13:06,263 --> 00:13:09,919
Is this what GeneralisimoZaragoza did at Puebla?
316
00:13:09,963 --> 00:13:13,140
Are you saying I should
challenge my father to a war?
317
00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:15,707
Because we alreadydid that, and look around.
318
00:13:15,751 --> 00:13:18,232
We're not winning.
319
00:13:18,275 --> 00:13:19,842
No. I'm saying take action.
320
00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:21,801
Don't wait for them
to do it for you.
321
00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:24,804
Buy a plane ticket
and go visit your mother.
322
00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:29,286
My love, we sneak our ownhot dogs into the movie theater.
323
00:13:29,330 --> 00:13:31,375
We can't afforda plane ticket.
324
00:13:31,419 --> 00:13:34,291
Well... not yet.
325
00:13:34,335 --> 00:13:36,772
[gasps]
326
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:40,036
Please, there must beone Mexican willing to compete.
327
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:41,864
JAVIER:There is!
328
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:45,912
My name is Javier FredericoFaad Santiago Flores Gomez!
329
00:13:45,955 --> 00:13:50,264
And tonight, my mouthbelongs to Mexico!
330
00:13:50,307 --> 00:13:52,657
[band playing upbeat music]Let's do this!
331
00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:54,703
[cheering, rhythmic clapping]
332
00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:05,888
Hey!
333
00:14:05,932 --> 00:14:08,804
"Uncle Juan's Tequilla abides
by the rules
334
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,372
of the InternationalHot Pepper Eating Association."
335
00:14:11,415 --> 00:14:13,809
That cannot be a thing.
336
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,637
"There are four rounds.
337
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:18,205
"Each pepper gets
increasingly hotter.
338
00:14:18,248 --> 00:14:20,294
The full pepper
must be consumed."
339
00:14:20,337 --> 00:14:22,774
If you take a drink of milk,
you are out.
340
00:14:22,818 --> 00:14:25,081
Might as well drinkyour milk now, baby.
341
00:14:25,125 --> 00:14:29,607
I only drink my milk warmed up
with a little bit of cinnamon.
342
00:14:30,695 --> 00:14:32,219
Our first pepper is
343
00:14:32,262 --> 00:14:36,571
the jalapeño with
a Scoville Heat Unit of 5,000.
344
00:14:36,614 --> 00:14:38,399
[band plays musical sting]
345
00:14:38,442 --> 00:14:40,662
Olé!And go!
346
00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:43,143
[cheering, whooping]
347
00:14:43,186 --> 00:14:45,754
He drank the
milk! He's out!
348
00:14:45,797 --> 00:14:47,625
[guitar plays
lively musical sting]
349
00:14:47,669 --> 00:14:49,105
Onto pepper number two.
350
00:14:49,149 --> 00:14:51,325
Things are goingpretty well, right?Yeah.
351
00:14:51,368 --> 00:14:53,980
Except you're supposed to
be working, not flirting.
352
00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:56,765
I have not been flirting.
353
00:14:56,808 --> 00:14:58,636
Please. I know
all your moves.
354
00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:01,161
Making her laugh
and lassoing her.
355
00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:02,684
It was just disgusting.
356
00:15:02,727 --> 00:15:05,643
Oh. You are jealous.
357
00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:08,081
I am not.Yes, you are.
358
00:15:08,124 --> 00:15:11,867
J-E... middle letters, S.
359
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,870
Jealous. Thank you.
360
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,611
I'm not jealous!
361
00:15:17,655 --> 00:15:20,354
I'm not jealous, either.
362
00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:22,922
But I think I knowhow we can split 'em up.
363
00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:24,532
Do it.
364
00:15:24,575 --> 00:15:26,273
[band plays musical sting]
365
00:15:26,316 --> 00:15:28,536
And we're down
to the final pepper!
366
00:15:28,579 --> 00:15:30,016
[musical sting]
367
00:15:30,059 --> 00:15:32,061
Two contestants remain.
368
00:15:32,105 --> 00:15:34,368
One from the land where
ancient civilizations
369
00:15:34,411 --> 00:15:37,023
developed complex calendars
and architecture,
370
00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:38,981
the other
where ancient civilizations
371
00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:41,114
didn't bathe for 300 years.
372
00:15:41,157 --> 00:15:44,552
For the record,I'm French-Canadian.
373
00:15:44,595 --> 00:15:47,947
Shut your maple hole
and get ready to lose!
374
00:15:47,990 --> 00:15:49,992
Our last pepper is
375
00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:52,603
the Delaware Death-Stick,
created in a laboratory
376
00:15:52,647 --> 00:15:55,563
by a team of disgraced
Hungarian scientists.
377
00:15:55,606 --> 00:15:58,566
This little baby
has a Scoville rating of...
378
00:15:58,609 --> 00:15:59,959
one million.
379
00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:01,438
[musical sting]
380
00:16:02,613 --> 00:16:04,267
Put on your gloves
381
00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:06,617
and call your loved ones,
because this one's hot.
382
00:16:06,661 --> 00:16:09,577
"What's not hot is Uncle Juan's
extra mild pico de gallo--
383
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:11,840
"now with real
tomatoes and onions.
384
00:16:11,883 --> 00:16:14,582
Look for us on the bottom shelfof your local gas station."
385
00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:15,975
Okay, here we go.
386
00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:18,542
Gentlemen, the first one
to go for the milk is out.
387
00:16:18,586 --> 00:16:20,414
Eat... that... pepper.
388
00:16:20,457 --> 00:16:21,893
[whooping, cheering,
band plays music sting]
389
00:16:21,937 --> 00:16:22,894
ELIZABETH:
Javi!
390
00:16:22,938 --> 00:16:24,244
You can do it!
391
00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:33,427
[cries]
392
00:16:35,907 --> 00:16:37,692
[squealing]Javier wins!
393
00:16:37,735 --> 00:16:38,954
Javier wins![cheering]
394
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,173
Viva Mexico!
395
00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:43,089
You did it, honey!
396
00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:44,612
Come here!Mmm.
397
00:16:44,655 --> 00:16:46,657
[screams]
398
00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:48,529
I'm on fire!
399
00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:50,748
[screams]
400
00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:54,752
All right, it's Cinco de Barry!
401
00:16:57,668 --> 00:16:59,148
What is Barry doing?
402
00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:00,932
I got him away from Paulaby asking him
403
00:17:00,976 --> 00:17:02,108
to perform a few songs.
404
00:17:02,151 --> 00:17:03,805
You're welcome.
405
00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:06,634
Can't you see
what's gonna happen?Never.
406
00:17:06,677 --> 00:17:08,462
He's gonna perform, she's
gonna see him up onstage
407
00:17:08,505 --> 00:17:10,203
and think he looks super sexy,
and it's gonna remind her
408
00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:11,856
of the first time they
met on Cinco de Mayo.
409
00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:13,684
Like, an hour ago?And then forgetting
410
00:17:13,728 --> 00:17:15,338
all the promises
she made to herself,
411
00:17:15,382 --> 00:17:17,079
she's gonna go home with him
even though they decided
412
00:17:17,123 --> 00:17:18,820
on the porch that they were
only gonna be friends
413
00:17:18,863 --> 00:17:21,823
for the sake of their child.And when did they have a baby?!
414
00:17:21,866 --> 00:17:23,651
I've got to stop
him from playing.
415
00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:25,522
I'm gonna cut the
power to the amp.
416
00:17:25,566 --> 00:17:26,915
All right,
you guys know me as the guy
417
00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:28,134
that's been slinging
margs all night.
418
00:17:28,177 --> 00:17:29,918
Well, I hope
you like 'em on the rocks,
419
00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:32,573
'cause we're about to rock out![plays note]
420
00:17:32,616 --> 00:17:34,053
All right, you guyshave to step back, though,
421
00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:35,576
'cause I dojump around a lot.
422
00:17:35,619 --> 00:17:38,013
Which one is it? The-the orangeor the white or the gray?
423
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:40,363
I don't know. I'm color-blind!
424
00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:43,236
[electrical buzzing]
425
00:17:43,279 --> 00:17:45,542
All right, let's do this!
426
00:17:45,586 --> 00:17:46,935
[cheering, whooping]
427
00:17:46,978 --> 00:17:48,937
[thud]Ow!
428
00:17:53,985 --> 00:17:55,422
Hey.
429
00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:58,381
Your knees feeling any better?
430
00:17:58,425 --> 00:18:00,296
Yeah. Feels like
431
00:18:00,340 --> 00:18:02,733
the caps are back
where they're supposed to be.
432
00:18:04,039 --> 00:18:06,737
Thank you. [sighs]
433
00:18:06,781 --> 00:18:08,652
I'm sorry you didn't
get your bonus.
434
00:18:08,696 --> 00:18:11,612
Yeah. I think not being able
to get the power back on
435
00:18:11,655 --> 00:18:13,831
and everyone leaving
was sort of a deal breaker.
436
00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:14,832
Yeah.
437
00:18:14,876 --> 00:18:16,660
And me landing on Paula
438
00:18:16,704 --> 00:18:19,141
after my leap
probably didn't help, either.
439
00:18:20,577 --> 00:18:23,058
And you were right.
440
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,669
I was totally jealous.
441
00:18:25,713 --> 00:18:29,108
I couldn't standseeing you flirt with her.
442
00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:31,762
Well, I was only flirting
to make you jealous.
443
00:18:33,242 --> 00:18:34,635
You're who I want.
444
00:18:34,678 --> 00:18:37,638
I obviously stillhave feelings for you, too,
445
00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:41,337
which is why this wholefriends idea is not gonna work.
446
00:18:41,381 --> 00:18:45,211
Okay, yeah, so...
what are you saying?
447
00:18:45,254 --> 00:18:46,951
Should we give
us a try again?
448
00:18:46,995 --> 00:18:49,128
No. That won't work, either.
449
00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:51,173
If we got back together,it would just
450
00:18:51,217 --> 00:18:53,306
end up uglylike it always does.
451
00:18:53,349 --> 00:18:55,308
I don't know. Maybe
this time it won't.
452
00:18:55,351 --> 00:18:58,876
If it was just you and me,I might take that chance.
453
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:02,010
But I can't riskputting Sammy through that.
454
00:19:03,490 --> 00:19:05,579
So where does
this leave us?
455
00:19:05,622 --> 00:19:09,409
We're a divorced coupleraising a kid.
456
00:19:09,452 --> 00:19:11,846
When he's with me,he's with me.
457
00:19:11,889 --> 00:19:15,284
When he's with you,he's with you, and that's it.
458
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,549
Okay, I give up.
459
00:19:19,593 --> 00:19:21,943
We'll do things your way.
460
00:19:21,986 --> 00:19:23,988
[sighs]
461
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,776
I'm not walking slowly
to be dramatic.
462
00:19:28,819 --> 00:19:30,821
I'm just in
tremendous pain.
463
00:19:32,388 --> 00:19:34,608
May I freshen that up for you?
464
00:19:36,610 --> 00:19:37,959
No, no.No, thank you, Luis.
465
00:19:38,002 --> 00:19:40,004
I think my lipsare functional again.
466
00:19:41,832 --> 00:19:43,617
Oh.Oh.
467
00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:46,141
Oh. That hurt worse than
getting collagen injections.
468
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,577
[sighs]
469
00:19:47,621 --> 00:19:50,276
Um, or so I'm told.
470
00:19:50,319 --> 00:19:52,147
Wow. It smells
great in here.
471
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:55,237
Oh, Luis has preparedan authentic Mexican meal.
472
00:19:55,281 --> 00:19:56,978
It is nothing much:
chicken mole
473
00:19:57,021 --> 00:19:58,588
which has been slow cooking
the entire day,
474
00:19:58,632 --> 00:20:01,156
platanos con crema
and nopalitos.
475
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,898
I had my heart set
on nuking some fish sticks,
476
00:20:03,941 --> 00:20:05,465
but this is good.
477
00:20:06,944 --> 00:20:09,077
That's her way of
saying thank you, Luis.
478
00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:11,122
I know.I'm actually quite touched.
479
00:20:12,863 --> 00:20:15,301
I just wanted to reiterate that
I've never gotten my lips done.
480
00:20:15,344 --> 00:20:16,824
Mm.
481
00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:19,392
They're just
naturally plump.Mm.
482
00:20:19,435 --> 00:20:21,437
Speaking of lies...
483
00:20:23,309 --> 00:20:25,572
...I just want to tell youI'm really sorry
484
00:20:25,615 --> 00:20:27,661
that we can't takethat trip to San Diego.
485
00:20:27,704 --> 00:20:29,184
Well, actually,you might be
486
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,839
taking that vacationafter all. Luis?
487
00:20:31,882 --> 00:20:34,668
Jackie, I have signedthis comically large check
488
00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:38,498
over to you, so now you andSammy can go see the baby rhino.
489
00:20:38,541 --> 00:20:40,500
Thank you so much!
490
00:20:40,543 --> 00:20:42,806
Not that there's
any take-backs here,
491
00:20:42,850 --> 00:20:45,635
but weren't you gonna use thisto see your family?
492
00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:47,681
Well, I have decidednot to go.
493
00:20:47,724 --> 00:20:50,814
Yes, I miss Mexico, butElizabeth has helped me realize
494
00:20:50,858 --> 00:20:54,818
that I don't need to go awayto be surrounded by family.
495
00:20:54,862 --> 00:20:57,517
Are you sure, Javier?
496
00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:00,694
Mom, the tribe
has spoken.
497
00:21:02,391 --> 00:21:06,787
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
498
00:21:06,830 --> 00:21:10,834
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
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