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1
00:00:00,582 --> 00:00:02,040
SAM: Really heavy.
2
00:00:02,041 --> 00:00:04,090
This was, like, a monsoon of a period.
3
00:00:04,091 --> 00:00:06,011
It lasted, like, over two weeks.
4
00:00:06,012 --> 00:00:10,143
Sometimes, our ovaries...
they just get lazy.
5
00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:14,013
Yeah, and I guess these are what
you would call hot flashes.
6
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,808
I can't believe this is actually
finally happening to me.
7
00:00:16,809 --> 00:00:20,090
Also, plus, my ex-husband
8
00:00:20,091 --> 00:00:23,072
is repeatedly raping me every night.
9
00:00:24,176 --> 00:00:25,504
Excuse me?
10
00:00:25,505 --> 00:00:27,059
In my dreams.
11
00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:28,697
No, not dreams.
12
00:00:28,698 --> 00:00:30,699
They're nightmares, in my nightmares.
13
00:00:30,700 --> 00:00:34,865
U-Uh, I'm sorry, that,
uh... sounds awful.
14
00:00:34,866 --> 00:00:37,011
Do you think it's, like, hormones?
15
00:00:37,012 --> 00:00:38,406
You think this is it?
16
00:00:38,407 --> 00:00:40,338
I mean, this has got to
be it. This is it, right?
17
00:00:40,339 --> 00:00:42,204
Well, we'll take your blood today
18
00:00:42,205 --> 00:00:43,691
and again in six months.
19
00:00:43,692 --> 00:00:45,256
And if you don't get another period,
20
00:00:45,257 --> 00:00:47,281
then you will be in perimenopause.
21
00:00:47,282 --> 00:00:48,922
We'll also check your FSH levels.
22
00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:53,432
Below 20 is normal, above
30 is change of life.
23
00:00:53,433 --> 00:00:55,211
This is normal.
24
00:00:55,212 --> 00:00:56,938
You're degenerating.
25
00:00:56,939 --> 00:00:58,774
Oh. Thank you.
26
00:00:58,775 --> 00:01:00,973
You're coming into your gland finale.
27
00:01:00,974 --> 00:01:03,753
Like, the fireworks at the
end of the Fourth of July.
28
00:01:03,754 --> 00:01:06,244
Okay, yes. Yes!
29
00:01:06,245 --> 00:01:08,213
I can't wait to have a full beard.
30
00:01:08,214 --> 00:01:09,414
Or a soul patch.
31
00:01:09,415 --> 00:01:11,232
(laughing): Okay, well.
32
00:01:11,233 --> 00:01:12,400
Uh, let's have a look.
33
00:01:12,401 --> 00:01:13,961
Please put your heels
up in the stirrups.
34
00:01:13,962 --> 00:01:16,221
(groans) Okay.
35
00:01:16,222 --> 00:01:18,406
(exhales loudly)
36
00:01:18,407 --> 00:01:20,492
(faucet turns on)
37
00:01:20,493 --> 00:01:22,444
(faucet turns off)
38
00:01:29,236 --> 00:01:30,385
- Okay.
- (clears throat)
39
00:01:30,386 --> 00:01:32,470
Uh, could you please, uh,
scoot down a little bit.
40
00:01:32,471 --> 00:01:34,776
- Little bit further, please?
- Okay.
41
00:01:35,936 --> 00:01:37,969
(clears throat)
42
00:01:37,970 --> 00:01:40,958
I'm-I'm sorry to ask,
43
00:01:40,959 --> 00:01:43,146
but are you gonna put on gloves?
44
00:01:43,147 --> 00:01:45,133
Oh, yes, I am.
45
00:01:45,134 --> 00:01:46,367
Um, I always do.
46
00:01:46,368 --> 00:01:47,435
See? Right here.
47
00:01:47,436 --> 00:01:50,220
- Okay, good. (sharp exhale)
- Got it.
48
00:01:50,221 --> 00:01:53,274
Sorry. I didn't mean to
question your professionalism.
49
00:01:53,275 --> 00:01:55,599
Does it, does it bother you
that I asked you that?
50
00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:57,126
Nah, we're all good, Sam.
51
00:01:57,127 --> 00:01:58,750
Okay, good.
52
00:01:59,677 --> 00:02:03,067
Because, if you think
about it, Dr. Chen,
53
00:02:03,068 --> 00:02:05,170
there's just one thin layer of latex
54
00:02:05,171 --> 00:02:08,272
that is the difference
between you examining me
55
00:02:08,273 --> 00:02:10,191
and you fingering me.
56
00:02:10,192 --> 00:02:11,707
You know what I'm saying?
57
00:02:13,147 --> 00:02:15,511
Let's just try to relax.
58
00:02:15,512 --> 00:02:17,067
Yeah.
59
00:02:17,068 --> 00:02:18,834
Uh, wiggle your toes, please.
60
00:02:18,835 --> 00:02:20,067
Why?
61
00:02:20,068 --> 00:02:22,875
It, uh, it helps to
open you up down there.
62
00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:25,073
(moans)
63
00:02:28,397 --> 00:02:30,298
♪ ♪
64
00:02:30,925 --> 00:02:35,950
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
65
00:02:40,755 --> 00:02:42,904
MAN (quietly): First thing
on your disclaimer...
66
00:02:42,905 --> 00:02:45,432
(quietly): Entrants use this
facility at their own risk.
67
00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:46,794
Unsafe driving conditions can lead
68
00:02:46,795 --> 00:02:48,813
to injuries and/or death.
69
00:02:48,814 --> 00:02:50,732
So please be aware
70
00:02:50,733 --> 00:02:52,094
- of the front two pedals...
- Hey, buddy.
71
00:02:52,095 --> 00:02:53,875
Sorry to interrupt, but I...
72
00:02:53,876 --> 00:02:55,937
Can you talk a little bit louder?
73
00:02:55,938 --> 00:02:58,643
- I can't hear you.
- FRANKIE: Mom. Stop.
74
00:02:58,644 --> 00:03:00,959
He's telling us important safety things.
75
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,812
We're about to operate
dangerous machinery.
76
00:03:03,813 --> 00:03:05,830
- We need to hear this.
- It's not important, Sam.
77
00:03:05,831 --> 00:03:07,649
It's safety B.S. and legal disclaimers
78
00:03:07,650 --> 00:03:09,093
that would never hold up in court.
79
00:03:09,094 --> 00:03:11,395
- (sighs)
- Mom? Mom.
80
00:03:11,396 --> 00:03:13,549
Can I have more quarters for air hockey?
81
00:03:13,550 --> 00:03:16,145
I gave you ten dollars.
You already spent it?
82
00:03:16,146 --> 00:03:18,556
Uh-huh, on the claw machine.
Can we have more?
83
00:03:18,557 --> 00:03:20,762
- And we want to play air hockey.
- Where's Pepper?
84
00:03:20,763 --> 00:03:22,504
She's over there playing
at the pool table.
85
00:03:26,751 --> 00:03:28,317
Okay.
86
00:03:29,606 --> 00:03:31,005
- Okay?
- Bye.
87
00:03:31,006 --> 00:03:32,940
I love you. T.Y. T.Y. T.Y.
88
00:03:32,941 --> 00:03:35,301
Okay, you're welcome. Y.W.
89
00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:36,944
Please, continue.
90
00:03:36,945 --> 00:03:38,963
So.
91
00:03:38,964 --> 00:03:41,632
(quietly): Keep a three-yard
distance between each kart
92
00:03:41,633 --> 00:03:43,634
- on the way, so if you get be...
- Buddy.
93
00:03:43,635 --> 00:03:46,420
Bro, not to be an asshole,
94
00:03:46,421 --> 00:03:49,022
but I still can't hear you. Not at all.
95
00:03:50,110 --> 00:03:52,740
Listen, I know this probably
isn't your dream job,
96
00:03:52,741 --> 00:03:54,996
but what you do here is important.
97
00:03:54,997 --> 00:03:57,689
You provide a very important service,
98
00:03:57,690 --> 00:03:59,830
so we need to hear you.
99
00:03:59,831 --> 00:04:00,844
Okay, yeah, sure.
100
00:04:00,845 --> 00:04:02,547
Mom, do you want to ride
the go-karts, or not?
101
00:04:02,548 --> 00:04:04,187
No, I really don't.
102
00:04:04,188 --> 00:04:06,444
But I'm trying to give
you guys a fun childhood
103
00:04:06,445 --> 00:04:10,028
and at the same time, to
not die or get paralyzed.
104
00:04:10,029 --> 00:04:12,620
- (spit three times)
- All right, Mom,
105
00:04:12,621 --> 00:04:13,965
stop being so dramatic.
106
00:04:13,966 --> 00:04:17,969
And you, sir, are the only
thing that sits between
107
00:04:17,970 --> 00:04:20,772
my family and a horrible tragedy.
108
00:04:20,773 --> 00:04:23,975
So please make your
instructions clearer.
109
00:04:23,976 --> 00:04:25,793
Sing out, Louise.
110
00:04:25,794 --> 00:04:27,424
- Um, Ollivier.
- OLLIVIER: Oh.
111
00:04:27,425 --> 00:04:29,290
- My name's Ollivier.
- FRANKIE: Oh, he's Ollivier.
112
00:04:29,291 --> 00:04:30,698
- Oh.
- Ollivier.
113
00:04:30,699 --> 00:04:31,950
- (chuckling) Oh.
- So funny, man.
114
00:04:31,951 --> 00:04:34,702
- I'm Ollivier, as well.
- That's crazy, man.
115
00:04:34,703 --> 00:04:36,003
Nice to meet you, Ollivier.
116
00:04:36,004 --> 00:04:37,521
Right back at you, man.
117
00:04:37,522 --> 00:04:40,210
Give us your instructions,
Go-Kart Ollivier.
118
00:04:40,211 --> 00:04:42,627
(chuckles softly)
119
00:04:42,628 --> 00:04:45,029
Um, entrants use this
facility at their own risk.
120
00:04:45,030 --> 00:04:46,769
Any unsafe driving
conditions can lead to
121
00:04:46,770 --> 00:04:48,992
injuries and/or death.
122
00:04:48,993 --> 00:04:50,702
There we have our first two pedals.
123
00:04:50,703 --> 00:04:51,853
The green pedal is for acceleration,
124
00:04:51,854 --> 00:04:54,292
and the red pedal is for the brakes.
125
00:04:54,293 --> 00:04:56,348
♪ Yeah, turn here ♪
126
00:04:56,349 --> 00:04:58,267
♪ Turn it down and out ♪
127
00:04:58,268 --> 00:04:59,621
♪ Turn here ♪
128
00:04:59,622 --> 00:05:02,013
♪ I'll give you love without a doubt ♪
129
00:05:02,014 --> 00:05:03,931
♪ Turn here ♪
130
00:05:03,932 --> 00:05:06,601
♪ When I need some kissing ♪
131
00:05:06,602 --> 00:05:07,802
♪ Your true love is... ♪
132
00:05:07,803 --> 00:05:10,307
You got the wrong one.
133
00:05:10,308 --> 00:05:14,127
Hey! Fun mom!
134
00:05:14,128 --> 00:05:17,587
♪ I need someone to call my own ♪
135
00:05:17,588 --> 00:05:18,980
♪ Someone to love... ♪
136
00:05:18,981 --> 00:05:20,765
(laughing)
137
00:05:20,766 --> 00:05:22,391
Yes.
138
00:05:22,392 --> 00:05:25,648
I'm a wheelman from way back.
139
00:05:25,649 --> 00:05:26,938
Yes, I am.
140
00:05:26,939 --> 00:05:29,657
(laughs)
141
00:05:29,658 --> 00:05:31,742
Fun, right?
142
00:05:31,743 --> 00:05:33,744
Hey, Mom, hot behind.
143
00:05:33,745 --> 00:05:34,929
♪ That will be... ♪
144
00:05:34,930 --> 00:05:35,997
I love you, Mom!
145
00:05:35,998 --> 00:05:37,666
Me, more!
146
00:05:38,869 --> 00:05:41,602
♪ Come on, turn, now ♪
147
00:05:41,603 --> 00:05:43,554
♪ Yeah ♪
148
00:05:43,555 --> 00:05:44,939
♪ Turn here right now ♪
149
00:05:44,940 --> 00:05:46,090
♪ Need some loving ♪
150
00:05:46,091 --> 00:05:47,875
♪ I need your loving, babe. ♪
151
00:05:47,876 --> 00:05:50,044
- Shotgun.
- Duke, don't.
152
00:05:50,045 --> 00:05:51,629
Don't try.
153
00:05:51,630 --> 00:05:52,730
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
154
00:05:52,731 --> 00:05:54,916
- Getting in the car.
- Hey, no. No. Hey.
155
00:05:54,917 --> 00:05:57,769
- Duke. Duke. No, get out.
- DUKE: What? What?
156
00:05:57,770 --> 00:06:00,484
- Hey! Stop. Are you kidding me?
- Out. Out.
157
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:02,182
Are you coming home for dinner?
158
00:06:02,183 --> 00:06:03,471
Uh, I don't know.
159
00:06:03,472 --> 00:06:05,344
DUKE: Why? This is unfair.
160
00:06:05,345 --> 00:06:07,374
- Those are so sweet.
- FRANKIE: No, it's not unfair.
161
00:06:07,375 --> 00:06:08,484
- Will you send me those?
- Mm-hmm.
162
00:06:08,485 --> 00:06:10,602
FRANKIE: You've been
getting it all this time.
163
00:06:10,603 --> 00:06:14,168
DUKE: Stop, stop! You got
all last week, you got it.
164
00:06:14,169 --> 00:06:16,312
- I will always get it, I'm older.
- SAM: Guys.
165
00:06:16,313 --> 00:06:18,231
Listen, technically, you're too small
166
00:06:18,232 --> 00:06:19,641
to legally sit in the front seat.
167
00:06:19,642 --> 00:06:21,518
- Shut up!
- Enough.
168
00:06:21,519 --> 00:06:23,856
- Mom could get arrested, you know.
- You're so rude!
169
00:06:23,857 --> 00:06:26,029
Hey! That's enough.
170
00:06:26,030 --> 00:06:28,158
Be quiet. Stop it.
171
00:06:29,395 --> 00:06:31,327
- Hey!
- Selfish!
172
00:06:31,328 --> 00:06:33,596
- I'm done.
- Super dramatic, Mom.
173
00:06:33,597 --> 00:06:35,331
DUKE: So mean.
174
00:06:35,332 --> 00:06:36,368
Oh.
175
00:06:38,219 --> 00:06:40,537
(exhales)
176
00:06:40,538 --> 00:06:42,416
Okay, I tell you what.
177
00:06:43,224 --> 00:06:45,157
You have one minute.
178
00:06:45,158 --> 00:06:47,789
You can say anything you
want to each other.
179
00:06:47,790 --> 00:06:49,832
Anything. You get it all out.
180
00:06:49,833 --> 00:06:52,460
Say the worst things
that pop into your head.
181
00:06:52,461 --> 00:06:53,499
Anything.
182
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,318
And then it's over.
183
00:06:55,319 --> 00:06:56,703
Okay?
184
00:06:56,704 --> 00:06:59,339
- Anything?
- Anything.
185
00:06:59,340 --> 00:07:02,701
For real, Mom? Like, bad words?
186
00:07:02,702 --> 00:07:04,221
Really bad words?
187
00:07:04,222 --> 00:07:05,960
Yep, no limit.
188
00:07:05,961 --> 00:07:07,600
Cursing? We can curse?
189
00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:09,674
Yes, go for it.
190
00:07:09,675 --> 00:07:11,686
But then it's over. Okay?
191
00:07:11,687 --> 00:07:12,886
Let me see you fight.
192
00:07:12,887 --> 00:07:15,238
You can really get it all out.
193
00:07:15,239 --> 00:07:17,831
Just say all the bad
things to each other.
194
00:07:18,718 --> 00:07:20,226
One minute.
195
00:07:20,227 --> 00:07:21,412
And, go.
196
00:07:21,413 --> 00:07:23,555
- Bitch, fucking asshole.
- Little baby.
197
00:07:23,556 --> 00:07:25,446
- Mommy's little perfect angel.
- Selfish, fishpussy psycho.
198
00:07:25,447 --> 00:07:26,668
- Manipulative.
- Dick breath.
199
00:07:26,669 --> 00:07:28,494
- Get everything you want.
- Shit licker.
200
00:07:28,495 --> 00:07:30,198
- Manipulative, spoiled...
- Psycho.
201
00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:32,819
Cock, douche sack, fuckface!
202
00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:38,166
♪ Pedal to the metal... ♪
203
00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:39,364
What just happened?
204
00:07:39,365 --> 00:07:40,465
(laughter)
205
00:07:40,466 --> 00:07:42,300
- I'm dizzy.
- DUKE: Jew.
206
00:07:42,301 --> 00:07:43,651
(laughter continues)
207
00:07:43,652 --> 00:07:45,536
Your mouth!
208
00:07:45,537 --> 00:07:46,705
- Oh, my God!
- (laughing)
209
00:07:46,706 --> 00:07:48,540
- Duke!
- No!
210
00:07:48,541 --> 00:07:51,426
Did she just say that?
211
00:07:51,427 --> 00:07:54,412
I'll wash out your mouth with soap.
212
00:07:54,413 --> 00:07:55,747
- (laughter)
- That's it.
213
00:07:55,748 --> 00:07:57,175
(laughter)
214
00:07:57,176 --> 00:08:00,552
(laughing): No, Pepper, close your ears.
215
00:08:00,553 --> 00:08:03,354
That's the worst thing.
216
00:08:03,355 --> 00:08:06,441
Oh, my God. Wash your
mouth out with soap.
217
00:08:06,442 --> 00:08:09,528
Oh, my God, I'm done.
218
00:08:09,529 --> 00:08:12,631
♪ ♪
219
00:08:12,632 --> 00:08:15,434
I didn't know you knew those words!
220
00:08:25,016 --> 00:08:29,811
ALL: ♪ Tanti auguri, cara Lala ♪
221
00:08:29,812 --> 00:08:32,166
- ♪ Tanti auguri a te. ♪
- Happy birthday.
222
00:08:32,167 --> 00:08:35,524
- What can this be?
- It's called The Womanizer.
223
00:08:35,525 --> 00:08:39,257
It, um, well, it sucks on your clit.
224
00:08:39,258 --> 00:08:42,210
- Oy.
- (laughs) Sam, Sam.
225
00:08:42,211 --> 00:08:45,046
- It's for your clit.
- I don't like it.
226
00:08:45,047 --> 00:08:49,050
They did a study. Half of all
women orgasm within 60 seconds.
227
00:08:49,051 --> 00:08:51,102
- What? 60 seconds?
- 60 seconds.
228
00:08:51,103 --> 00:08:53,371
- Excuse me.
- (laughter)
229
00:08:53,372 --> 00:08:55,073
I'm sorry it doesn't come attached
230
00:08:55,074 --> 00:08:57,291
to an actual living,
breathing man, but...
231
00:08:57,292 --> 00:08:59,655
they seem to be all off with
25-year-olds these days.
232
00:08:59,656 --> 00:09:02,481
Oh, yeah. That's because
we've aged out of our men,
233
00:09:02,482 --> 00:09:05,083
like kids age out of the
foster care system.
234
00:09:05,084 --> 00:09:07,034
Facts on facts on facts on facts.
235
00:09:07,035 --> 00:09:09,003
- (laughter)
- That's it.
236
00:09:09,004 --> 00:09:12,190
- Thank you.
- Double fist.
237
00:09:12,191 --> 00:09:14,225
(laughter)
238
00:09:14,226 --> 00:09:16,194
Ooh. Ooh. What?
239
00:09:16,195 --> 00:09:18,938
I don't, I don't see a
ring. I don't have a ring.
240
00:09:18,939 --> 00:09:20,949
- Who doesn't, even?
- IDA: My husband is just boring.
241
00:09:20,950 --> 00:09:23,134
He wasn't always boring. He's boring.
242
00:09:23,135 --> 00:09:25,036
And he talks and all I hear is...
243
00:09:25,037 --> 00:09:27,138
(mumbling)
244
00:09:27,139 --> 00:09:28,222
White noise.
245
00:09:28,223 --> 00:09:30,842
You're so lucky you got out, Sam.
246
00:09:30,843 --> 00:09:34,929
- I am next, goddamm it. I'm next!
- (laughter)
247
00:09:34,930 --> 00:09:37,865
Hello, ladies. Uh, so,
tonight's special...
248
00:09:37,866 --> 00:09:40,902
Oh, honey, hi, listen, no
offense, but could we have him?
249
00:09:40,903 --> 00:09:43,304
'Cause we never get to look
at anything nice like that.
250
00:09:43,305 --> 00:09:45,890
Come on, you get to
fuck him, we just want
251
00:09:45,891 --> 00:09:49,010
- to play with him a little.
- Seems fair.
252
00:09:49,011 --> 00:09:51,062
Buonasera, grazie.
253
00:09:51,063 --> 00:09:53,865
Don't give me that look. Did
you see that look she...
254
00:09:53,866 --> 00:09:55,311
I'll kill you, I'll kill you.
255
00:09:55,312 --> 00:09:56,572
(laughter)
256
00:09:56,573 --> 00:09:58,821
Tonight I'm gonna do rails,
I'm gonna fuck that waiter,
257
00:09:58,822 --> 00:10:00,304
and I'm gonna leave my husband.
258
00:10:00,305 --> 00:10:03,174
It's all happening
tonight, all happening.
259
00:10:03,175 --> 00:10:05,093
Thank you.
260
00:10:05,094 --> 00:10:06,961
MARCELLO: Buonasera, signorine.
261
00:10:06,962 --> 00:10:08,062
ALL: Buonasera.
262
00:10:08,063 --> 00:10:09,180
MARCELLO: Buonasera.
263
00:10:09,181 --> 00:10:11,099
Da che parte dell'Italia vien?
264
00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:13,000
- Naples.
- Oh.
265
00:10:13,001 --> 00:10:15,002
Come hai imparato a parlare
cosi bene italiana?
266
00:10:15,003 --> 00:10:17,798
(laughs) Well, I spent
summers in Avellino.
267
00:10:17,799 --> 00:10:21,075
Hai visitato il Santuario
di Montevergine?
268
00:10:21,076 --> 00:10:22,386
Of course.
269
00:10:22,387 --> 00:10:24,061
I spent my 40th birthday in Avellino.
270
00:10:24,062 --> 00:10:25,242
You are not 40.
271
00:10:25,243 --> 00:10:28,232
- Um, yeah, I am 40. (chuckles)
- Not possible.
272
00:10:28,233 --> 00:10:30,018
(whispers): Shut up.
273
00:10:30,019 --> 00:10:31,828
Yes, look.
274
00:10:31,829 --> 00:10:35,161
I got this necklace
275
00:10:35,162 --> 00:10:37,108
on my 40th birthday.
276
00:10:37,109 --> 00:10:40,845
It's made from a
230-year-old Italian coin.
277
00:10:40,846 --> 00:10:43,297
So pretty. Marcello, you
have them all to yourself.
278
00:10:43,298 --> 00:10:45,116
This isn't fair.
279
00:10:45,117 --> 00:10:48,103
You have to share.
280
00:10:48,104 --> 00:10:49,387
I'll share.
281
00:10:49,388 --> 00:10:51,323
Oh, my God.
282
00:10:51,324 --> 00:10:54,292
When they do that, it makes me
feel like we're in wheelchairs
283
00:10:54,293 --> 00:10:56,338
lined up outside the nursing home.
284
00:10:56,339 --> 00:10:58,029
Just put a thin blanket over my legs
285
00:10:58,030 --> 00:11:00,705
- and point me towards the sun.
- Ugh.
286
00:11:00,706 --> 00:11:03,675
- When did we start being that?
- About ten years ago.
287
00:11:03,676 --> 00:11:06,600
Yeah, and about 20 years ago,
I would've believed them.
288
00:11:06,601 --> 00:11:09,224
And then they would've tried
to take us to a club after
289
00:11:09,225 --> 00:11:11,843
and most of us would've gotten laid.
290
00:11:11,844 --> 00:11:13,895
Oh, me the most. Me the most laid.
291
00:11:16,547 --> 00:11:17,866
We're irrelevant.
292
00:11:17,867 --> 00:11:19,234
- We're obsolete.
- We're disgusting.
293
00:11:19,235 --> 00:11:20,712
Absolutely disgusting.
294
00:11:20,713 --> 00:11:23,558
I have a belly and a
beard and my period.
295
00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:25,723
My stomach's trying to fuck my pussy.
296
00:11:26,856 --> 00:11:29,588
(both laugh)
297
00:11:29,589 --> 00:11:32,486
You realize this is as good as
we're ever gonna look, right?
298
00:11:32,487 --> 00:11:34,406
It's just gonna go downhill from here.
299
00:11:34,407 --> 00:11:35,951
I know. 100%.
300
00:11:35,952 --> 00:11:38,203
Can't wait, though. (laughs)
301
00:11:38,204 --> 00:11:40,104
Yeah.
302
00:11:40,105 --> 00:11:42,824
(laughter)
303
00:11:44,361 --> 00:11:47,962
This is... a goal of life.
304
00:11:47,963 --> 00:11:50,048
This was part of my flow chart.
305
00:11:50,049 --> 00:11:52,300
♪ And I am the sun and I set ♪
306
00:11:54,204 --> 00:11:57,038
♪ And the world... ♪
307
00:11:57,039 --> 00:11:59,958
(clears throat) Do you and
Danny still do it every day?
308
00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:05,554
Well, in a word... yes.
309
00:12:06,575 --> 00:12:07,898
Sometimes more than once.
310
00:12:07,899 --> 00:12:11,428
But do you guys pretend to-to,
like, be other people,
311
00:12:11,429 --> 00:12:13,071
other people came over
to the house, like,
312
00:12:13,072 --> 00:12:15,734
(deep voice): "Oh, hello.
Nice to meet you."
313
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,892
(laughter)
314
00:12:17,893 --> 00:12:21,142
They were $379, it's real gold.
315
00:12:21,143 --> 00:12:22,601
I love you.
316
00:12:22,602 --> 00:12:25,952
All right, who wants to go
to the bathroom? Anybody?
317
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:27,564
Exactly.
318
00:12:27,565 --> 00:12:29,098
(whispers): Don't you want
to go to the bathroom?
319
00:12:29,099 --> 00:12:30,977
- No, I'm with Lala.
- You don't want to go...
320
00:12:30,978 --> 00:12:33,124
No, I don't want to.
321
00:12:33,125 --> 00:12:35,260
♪ And the images answer,
calling me back... ♪
322
00:12:35,261 --> 00:12:36,861
- Whoa!
- Hi.
323
00:12:36,862 --> 00:12:39,213
I'm so sorry I'm late. I can't
believe I even made it.
324
00:12:39,214 --> 00:12:42,333
It's good to see you. I'm
glad you made it, too.
325
00:12:42,334 --> 00:12:44,902
- I can't believe we're here.
- LALA: How's Randy?
326
00:12:44,903 --> 00:12:48,671
Oh, he's okay, but his dad is dying.
327
00:12:48,672 --> 00:12:50,257
- BOTH: Oh...
- Yes.
328
00:12:50,258 --> 00:12:52,126
Shitshow as usual.
329
00:12:52,127 --> 00:12:55,314
I'm taking care of the
boys alone and his mama.
330
00:12:55,315 --> 00:12:57,534
Meanwhile, I'm supposed
to get back to Thailand
331
00:12:57,535 --> 00:12:59,117
to finish the film.
332
00:12:59,810 --> 00:13:01,302
Where in the hell is everybody else?
333
00:13:01,303 --> 00:13:02,735
- Bathroom.
- Yeah.
334
00:13:02,736 --> 00:13:04,787
- Already?
- LALA: Mm-hmm.
335
00:13:04,788 --> 00:13:07,892
Oh, yes. Mama blow.
336
00:13:07,893 --> 00:13:11,975
At last. Ladies, I gots to go. (laughs)
337
00:13:13,033 --> 00:13:16,834
(laughter, cheering)
338
00:13:16,835 --> 00:13:17,869
I see you.
339
00:13:19,139 --> 00:13:22,056
What's that for, huh?
340
00:13:22,057 --> 00:13:24,092
(cheering)
341
00:13:27,864 --> 00:13:29,898
♪ This wild light... ♪
342
00:13:37,207 --> 00:13:40,737
- How's Tom?
- He's good.
343
00:13:41,766 --> 00:13:44,228
- And the twins?
- I like one of them.
344
00:13:44,229 --> 00:13:49,000
Hmm. I like one of mine,
too. I'm not naming names.
345
00:13:49,001 --> 00:13:51,969
Why did we put ourselves
through all this?
346
00:13:51,970 --> 00:13:55,056
It's insane. Nobody told me
it was gonna be this hard.
347
00:13:55,057 --> 00:13:58,260
I suffered through four
years of IVF for this shit.
348
00:13:59,150 --> 00:14:00,739
I could've spent the money on a house.
349
00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:01,913
A big house.
350
00:14:01,914 --> 00:14:05,501
Yeah. But it's just so rewarding...
351
00:14:05,502 --> 00:14:10,238
Yeah, right. Not when
Tionna's screaming "no" at me
352
00:14:10,239 --> 00:14:13,090
and telling me, "You're the
meanest mom in the whole world,"
353
00:14:13,091 --> 00:14:14,664
and nobody loves her.
354
00:14:14,665 --> 00:14:15,993
Mm.
355
00:14:15,994 --> 00:14:19,230
And Tom's passed out in the living room,
356
00:14:19,231 --> 00:14:21,332
and Essex just wants his attention,
357
00:14:21,333 --> 00:14:23,835
and I work the longest hours.
358
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,989
- You said mama blow?
- Oh, listen, I know what I'm doing.
359
00:14:28,990 --> 00:14:32,160
- Oh, I need a chair.
- Oh.
360
00:14:32,161 --> 00:14:33,928
BOTH: We need a chair.
361
00:14:33,929 --> 00:14:35,980
(indistinct chatter)
362
00:14:35,981 --> 00:14:39,317
♪ In the world, this wild light... ♪
363
00:14:39,318 --> 00:14:42,169
(chatter continues)
364
00:14:42,170 --> 00:14:46,190
(laughter)
365
00:14:46,191 --> 00:14:48,993
I haven't had any surgery at all.
366
00:14:48,994 --> 00:14:50,194
What? What are you looking at?
367
00:14:50,195 --> 00:14:52,330
- (laughter)
- Just a little, little injection.
368
00:14:58,071 --> 00:15:00,237
- ALL: Oh!
- That's a Sicilian curse.
369
00:15:00,238 --> 00:15:02,476
She put the mark on you.
370
00:15:02,477 --> 00:15:06,347
She got the eye, the evil
eye! Call it the fury.
371
00:15:08,098 --> 00:15:11,199
- (speaking Italian)
- (laughter)
372
00:15:15,005 --> 00:15:16,971
(indistinct chatter)
373
00:15:23,063 --> 00:15:25,830
(laughter, cheering)
374
00:15:27,133 --> 00:15:29,067
ALL (chanting): Sam,
Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam...
375
00:15:34,207 --> 00:15:35,223
(cheering)
376
00:15:36,927 --> 00:15:38,226
Mm-mm.
377
00:15:42,165 --> 00:15:44,199
♪ ♪
378
00:15:46,369 --> 00:15:49,103
♪ There's a wild light in the world. ♪
379
00:15:58,164 --> 00:15:59,930
- Come on. You got to plank.
- (groans)
380
00:15:59,931 --> 00:16:02,534
- Like RBG.
- Oof.
381
00:16:02,535 --> 00:16:05,836
I don't know if I can
do this today, Ida.
382
00:16:05,837 --> 00:16:09,707
What? It's the best thing
for your hangover.
383
00:16:09,708 --> 00:16:11,991
You'll feel better, honey, I promise.
384
00:16:11,992 --> 00:16:13,911
Oh.
385
00:16:13,912 --> 00:16:16,764
(sniffs) Oh, my.
386
00:16:16,765 --> 00:16:19,033
The undercarriage smells.
387
00:16:19,034 --> 00:16:20,234
What?
388
00:16:20,235 --> 00:16:23,171
Ramen. The ramen noodle.
389
00:16:23,172 --> 00:16:26,356
- (laughs): Ew... oh, my God.
- I'm serious.
390
00:16:26,357 --> 00:16:28,959
Oof. Is that me?
391
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,498
Or is that you?
392
00:16:30,499 --> 00:16:33,814
Honey, I'm chicken broth,
393
00:16:33,815 --> 00:16:35,867
but it smells like you've
got a whole can of tuna
394
00:16:35,868 --> 00:16:37,151
shoved up there.
395
00:16:37,152 --> 00:16:39,871
It's pretty strong, bro.
396
00:16:41,093 --> 00:16:43,091
(sniffs) This is embarrassing.
397
00:16:43,092 --> 00:16:45,125
Well, it's not a hygiene thing.
398
00:16:45,126 --> 00:16:48,675
It's the fish oil I'm
taking, for fertility.
399
00:16:48,676 --> 00:16:50,861
Fish oil for fertility?
400
00:16:50,862 --> 00:16:53,573
Last night you were making
plans to leave your husband.
401
00:16:54,427 --> 00:16:57,517
That was... Look, I had too much wine.
402
00:16:57,518 --> 00:16:59,336
Your hand was up the waiter's shirt.
403
00:17:02,286 --> 00:17:04,062
It most certainly was not.
404
00:17:04,063 --> 00:17:06,426
(exhales)
405
00:17:06,427 --> 00:17:07,987
I'm sorry.
406
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,034
Your smell.
407
00:17:11,204 --> 00:17:12,863
I'm gonna be sick.
408
00:17:14,156 --> 00:17:16,090
(retching)
409
00:17:20,343 --> 00:17:22,179
Jesus, Mom.
410
00:17:22,180 --> 00:17:24,188
Are you pregnant? Is that,
is that even possible?
411
00:17:24,189 --> 00:17:26,207
Get out. Get out.
412
00:17:26,208 --> 00:17:28,403
Did you drink too much last night?
413
00:17:28,404 --> 00:17:31,062
I had two glasses of wine.
414
00:17:31,063 --> 00:17:33,349
Bullshit, you always have
more than two glasses.
415
00:17:33,350 --> 00:17:36,616
That's just something moms say,
"I only had two glasses,"
416
00:17:36,617 --> 00:17:38,153
when they really had more like four,
417
00:17:38,154 --> 00:17:40,289
but they don't want their kids
to think they're driving drunk.
418
00:17:40,290 --> 00:17:42,991
- Get out of the room right now.
- I mean, you hit your head
419
00:17:42,992 --> 00:17:44,226
pretty hard the other day.
420
00:17:44,227 --> 00:17:46,194
I mean, the-the-the contact,
421
00:17:46,195 --> 00:17:49,014
the way your head snapped forward.
422
00:17:49,015 --> 00:17:50,853
I'm pretty sure you have whiplash.
423
00:17:50,854 --> 00:17:52,286
Or maybe you're pregnant.
424
00:17:52,287 --> 00:17:54,352
Am I gonna have a baby brother, Sam?
425
00:17:54,353 --> 00:17:57,259
- (exhales)
- Anyway,
426
00:17:57,260 --> 00:18:00,192
you're sick from the whiplash.
I looked it up on WebMD.
427
00:18:00,193 --> 00:18:03,362
Symptoms include nausea,
headaches and dizziness.
428
00:18:05,283 --> 00:18:08,033
What do you say when you
get good medical advice?
429
00:18:08,034 --> 00:18:10,119
(sighs)
430
00:18:10,570 --> 00:18:11,797
You're welcome.
431
00:18:16,294 --> 00:18:18,260
(birds chirping)
432
00:18:20,231 --> 00:18:21,584
(knocking on door)
433
00:18:21,585 --> 00:18:22,914
PHYLLIS: Sam?
434
00:18:22,915 --> 00:18:26,918
Sam... girls? I'm so
stupid, I've lost my key.
435
00:18:26,919 --> 00:18:29,988
Sam? Hello? Someone?
436
00:18:29,989 --> 00:18:31,924
I've lo... oh, it doesn't matter.
437
00:18:38,065 --> 00:18:40,082
Okay.
438
00:18:43,988 --> 00:18:47,994
Did you have a very salty
fucking meal last night?
439
00:18:47,995 --> 00:18:49,391
Excuse me?
440
00:18:49,392 --> 00:18:52,068
A salty fucking meal.
441
00:18:52,069 --> 00:18:53,445
Did you have one last night?
442
00:18:53,446 --> 00:18:55,390
Um, no. Why?
443
00:18:55,391 --> 00:18:58,790
Well, your blood pressure is
through the roof. 168/110.
444
00:18:58,791 --> 00:18:59,795
Oh.
445
00:18:59,796 --> 00:19:01,987
I don't want to put you
on BP meds just yet,
446
00:19:01,988 --> 00:19:03,509
so, you know, we'll
just keep an eye on it.
447
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,124
- Okay.
- Your intake form here
448
00:19:05,125 --> 00:19:08,139
says that you hurt yourself go-karting?
449
00:19:08,140 --> 00:19:09,961
What the fuck were you doing that for?
450
00:19:09,962 --> 00:19:11,515
I took my kids.
451
00:19:12,433 --> 00:19:13,982
Come on.
452
00:19:13,983 --> 00:19:15,284
Move your hair.
453
00:19:17,105 --> 00:19:19,604
- Does that hurt?
- Nah, it's just tender.
454
00:19:19,605 --> 00:19:23,183
Relax. Relax.
455
00:19:24,011 --> 00:19:26,228
- Relax, come on.
- Okay.
456
00:19:26,229 --> 00:19:29,180
Okay. I think you have a muscle strain.
457
00:19:29,181 --> 00:19:31,933
The soreness will go away in
a few days, but, you know,
458
00:19:31,934 --> 00:19:34,953
go and see a fucking chiropractor
if it keeps bothering you.
459
00:19:34,954 --> 00:19:37,731
Now, what about this, uh, insomnia
460
00:19:37,732 --> 00:19:39,057
that you wrote down over here?
461
00:19:39,058 --> 00:19:42,394
I can't sleep. And when I
finally do get to sleep,
462
00:19:42,395 --> 00:19:44,212
I have nightmares that my ex-husband
463
00:19:44,213 --> 00:19:46,181
is repeatedly raping me.
464
00:19:46,182 --> 00:19:47,376
What the fuck?
465
00:19:48,151 --> 00:19:50,152
Have you been under a
lot of stress lately?
466
00:19:50,153 --> 00:19:52,053
I guess so. I don't know.
467
00:19:52,054 --> 00:19:54,873
Okay. Well, you need to
let some of that shit go.
468
00:19:54,874 --> 00:19:56,959
Otherwise, it's gonna
fucking kill you. Okay?
469
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,606
All of it. Just let it go.
470
00:19:58,607 --> 00:20:01,263
You know, your hang-ups, your
fucking beefs, your past,
471
00:20:01,264 --> 00:20:04,016
your future, all of those
fucking worries, all right?
472
00:20:04,017 --> 00:20:05,350
All of it. Listen to me.
473
00:20:05,351 --> 00:20:08,987
Listen. Let it go.
474
00:20:08,988 --> 00:20:11,356
This advice is gonna put
years back on your life.
475
00:20:11,357 --> 00:20:14,426
Okay, Dr. Babu, but I think
it's a little more complicated
476
00:20:14,427 --> 00:20:16,995
- than just letting it go.
- No, it fucking isn't.
477
00:20:16,996 --> 00:20:19,064
Look, if you come to me
complaining of a burning hand
478
00:20:19,065 --> 00:20:20,315
and you're holding a hot fucking iron,
479
00:20:20,316 --> 00:20:22,050
well, guess what I'm gonna say?
480
00:20:22,051 --> 00:20:24,136
"Let it fucking go"?
481
00:20:24,137 --> 00:20:26,004
Now you understand.
482
00:20:26,005 --> 00:20:28,056
Well, there's a lot of it to let go of.
483
00:20:28,057 --> 00:20:30,142
So what? Let it go.
484
00:20:30,143 --> 00:20:32,144
First off, I took my daughter to college
485
00:20:32,145 --> 00:20:34,946
and she dropped out and
moved back into the house.
486
00:20:34,947 --> 00:20:37,232
- Fuck her.
- And then there's, uh,
487
00:20:37,233 --> 00:20:40,776
a mountain of mom shit that I
have to get through every day.
488
00:20:40,777 --> 00:20:42,221
What, errands? Who doesn't, huh?
489
00:20:42,222 --> 00:20:44,122
- Let it go.
- No.
490
00:20:44,123 --> 00:20:47,192
No, errands are, like, groceries
and going to the post office.
491
00:20:47,193 --> 00:20:49,294
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
- The real mom stuff.
492
00:20:49,295 --> 00:20:52,381
Soccer club sign-ups and dance classes
493
00:20:52,382 --> 00:20:56,201
and tutors and tuition payments
and parent-teacher conferences
494
00:20:56,202 --> 00:20:59,271
and schools and camps that
I have to get them into,
495
00:20:59,272 --> 00:21:02,391
and, and mean girl issues
with my youngest at school
496
00:21:02,392 --> 00:21:05,360
and birth control with my oldest and...
497
00:21:05,361 --> 00:21:08,296
cruelty from my middle daughter!
498
00:21:08,297 --> 00:21:10,365
And then there's my own mom,
499
00:21:10,366 --> 00:21:13,969
who is driving me nuts,
and I'm pretty sure
500
00:21:13,970 --> 00:21:16,050
she has a mental something disorder
501
00:21:16,051 --> 00:21:19,399
and my middle daughter
is hitting puberty hard.
502
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:22,706
- Mm-hmm.
- And I...
503
00:21:22,707 --> 00:21:25,097
am definitely going through menopause,
504
00:21:25,098 --> 00:21:28,984
yet I still get my period and I
have a beard and two mortgages,
505
00:21:28,985 --> 00:21:31,953
(voice breaking): so, yeah,
Dr. Babu, it's like,
506
00:21:31,954 --> 00:21:35,257
it's a lot, and some mornings, I just...
507
00:21:35,258 --> 00:21:37,792
- Oh, my God.
- ...you know, lay in bed,
508
00:21:37,793 --> 00:21:40,059
in my room, and I stare at the ceiling
509
00:21:40,060 --> 00:21:44,859
and I just say I just can't
do it anymore. I just can't.
510
00:21:44,860 --> 00:21:48,604
I just can't, I just
can't, I can't, I can't.
511
00:21:48,605 --> 00:21:50,795
(exhales)
512
00:21:51,729 --> 00:21:55,795
So, anyway, could you please
just give me some Xanax
513
00:21:55,796 --> 00:21:58,953
or Ativans or Ambiens or something?
514
00:21:59,639 --> 00:22:02,117
Anything you think that'll help
me get a full night's sleep,
515
00:22:02,118 --> 00:22:06,319
because that's what I
really need, Birju.
516
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:08,023
I need a full night of sleep.
517
00:22:08,024 --> 00:22:11,143
(sniffles)
518
00:22:11,144 --> 00:22:13,996
You're fucked up. All right?
519
00:22:13,997 --> 00:22:16,147
You need to start taking
care of your brain.
520
00:22:16,148 --> 00:22:18,016
You know, shit like
this is caused by gunic
521
00:22:18,017 --> 00:22:20,927
and doshic imbalances, which
lead to a clouding of, uh,
522
00:22:20,928 --> 00:22:23,922
perception and a loss of
understanding. All right?
523
00:22:23,923 --> 00:22:25,924
Okay.
524
00:22:28,985 --> 00:22:31,544
I want you to see that guy.
He's a psychotherapist.
525
00:22:31,545 --> 00:22:33,503
- Hey. Look, listen.
- (groans)
526
00:22:33,504 --> 00:22:36,185
At least four sessions with him, okay?
527
00:22:36,186 --> 00:22:40,189
And then I'll write you a
script for sleeping meds.
528
00:22:40,190 --> 00:22:43,291
- Deal?
- Fine.
529
00:22:43,292 --> 00:22:46,768
Oh, and also, do you
want to get an HPV shot?
530
00:22:46,769 --> 00:22:48,330
There are hundreds of strains of HPV.
531
00:22:48,331 --> 00:22:50,248
We have a vaccine against nine of them.
532
00:22:50,249 --> 00:22:52,296
I'm sure you have all nine.
533
00:22:53,430 --> 00:22:54,656
Uh...
534
00:22:54,657 --> 00:22:56,438
- Yeah.
- Okay.
535
00:22:56,439 --> 00:22:58,223
Good. Great.
536
00:22:58,224 --> 00:23:01,192
Feel better, and try to
have a good fucking day.
537
00:23:01,193 --> 00:23:03,111
- Okay.
- All right, I'll talk to you later.
538
00:23:03,112 --> 00:23:04,363
You fucking, too.
539
00:23:04,364 --> 00:23:05,524
BIRJU: Yeah.
540
00:23:05,525 --> 00:23:11,420
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
541
00:23:11,421 --> 00:23:17,008
♪ My private dream ♪
542
00:23:17,009 --> 00:23:20,262
♪ Is my own ♪
543
00:23:20,263 --> 00:23:23,348
♪ Little dream ♪
544
00:23:23,349 --> 00:23:29,120
♪ Where you come into my arms ♪
545
00:23:29,121 --> 00:23:33,125
♪ Each night ♪
546
00:23:37,030 --> 00:23:42,000
♪ My private dream ♪
547
00:23:42,001 --> 00:23:45,254
♪ Is my sweet ♪
548
00:23:45,255 --> 00:23:48,122
♪ Heavenly dream. ♪
39155
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