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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:35,025 --> 00:00:36,652 Thank you. 2 00:00:38,762 --> 00:00:40,765 Jesus. 3 00:00:45,896 --> 00:00:47,652 What's good, Shannon? 4 00:00:47,694 --> 00:00:50,588 Oh, Sam. Hey, hey. 5 00:00:50,630 --> 00:00:52,009 - Hey. - Did you got my message? 6 00:00:52,051 --> 00:00:54,011 So, so sorry about this. 7 00:00:54,053 --> 00:00:57,014 What? Something else wrong with the van? 8 00:00:57,056 --> 00:00:59,749 Yeah, so, um, we're still looking into things, 9 00:00:59,791 --> 00:01:02,286 but it seems like someone made off pretty clean 10 00:01:02,328 --> 00:01:04,063 with a couple vehicles last night. 11 00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:06,322 It was stolen? 12 00:01:06,364 --> 00:01:07,758 Yeah. But don't worry. 13 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:09,559 You're completely covered by our insurance. 14 00:01:09,601 --> 00:01:11,895 And I-I know you got that tracker LoJack thing in there, 15 00:01:11,937 --> 00:01:13,464 so... might turn up. 16 00:01:13,506 --> 00:01:16,032 No, no. That's okay. 17 00:01:16,074 --> 00:01:17,934 It's probably totally gone forever. 18 00:01:17,976 --> 00:01:20,338 C-Can you sign this, though, for the insurance? 19 00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:22,372 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 20 00:01:22,414 --> 00:01:23,973 - Sorry, Sam. - Yeah. 21 00:01:24,015 --> 00:01:26,142 We did fix that vibrating in the steering wheel, 22 00:01:26,184 --> 00:01:28,044 - so, you know, if it does turn up... - Mm. 23 00:01:28,086 --> 00:01:30,113 Not cool, Shannon. 24 00:01:30,155 --> 00:01:33,583 - Yeah, not... not cool. - Sorry, Sam. 25 00:01:33,625 --> 00:01:35,419 Not cool. Yes! 26 00:01:35,461 --> 00:01:40,423 Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com 27 00:01:40,465 --> 00:01:42,460 I was fine, you know? 28 00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:45,295 And then he comes over to tuck the kids in. 29 00:01:45,337 --> 00:01:47,598 And just having him back in the house... 30 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:49,333 I practically begged him to stay. 31 00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:51,469 - Mm. - I am such a loser. 32 00:01:51,511 --> 00:01:53,503 Uh, uh, uh. Don't say that. 33 00:01:53,545 --> 00:01:55,538 Ooh. 34 00:01:55,580 --> 00:01:57,341 Um, honey? 35 00:01:57,383 --> 00:02:00,034 I am. I'm one of those people now. 36 00:02:00,076 --> 00:02:02,946 - I'm my mama. - No, you're not. 37 00:02:02,988 --> 00:02:05,014 Is that a diaper bag? 38 00:02:05,056 --> 00:02:07,172 It's like I just keep punching myself 39 00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:10,005 in the face right in front of him. Like, "Ain't I cute? 40 00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:11,640 Don't you want all this mess?" 41 00:02:11,682 --> 00:02:13,986 And then he comes home for 15 minutes 42 00:02:14,028 --> 00:02:15,992 at the end of the day to tuck the kids in, 43 00:02:16,034 --> 00:02:19,205 and it's Captain Daddy Bedtime Champion. 44 00:02:19,247 --> 00:02:20,672 He can't do that. 45 00:02:20,714 --> 00:02:22,574 Oh, uh, you know what, though? 46 00:02:22,616 --> 00:02:23,833 He actually can. 47 00:02:23,875 --> 00:02:25,635 Because you don't have a mediator 48 00:02:25,677 --> 00:02:29,506 or a schedule or an attorney, so he can do whatever he wants. 49 00:02:29,548 --> 00:02:31,641 You have no boundaries for him. 50 00:02:31,683 --> 00:02:34,402 Sorry, broken record, but I will continue 51 00:02:34,444 --> 00:02:37,981 to be a broken record until you get professional help. 52 00:02:38,023 --> 00:02:40,151 I'm sorry. I know that you're right. 53 00:02:40,193 --> 00:02:43,386 I know you're right. It's just this waiting that's killing me. 54 00:02:43,428 --> 00:02:45,189 Waiting for? 55 00:02:45,231 --> 00:02:48,769 I just want things to go back to normal. 56 00:02:48,811 --> 00:02:49,823 Oh! 57 00:02:52,004 --> 00:02:53,931 Ooh! 58 00:02:53,973 --> 00:02:55,231 These are g... This isn't gonna hold. 59 00:02:55,273 --> 00:02:57,901 - No, no, no. - I need a backup. 60 00:02:59,010 --> 00:03:01,838 That's so nasty. I'm not... 61 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:04,382 Everybody should have diapers in the car. 62 00:03:04,424 --> 00:03:06,268 - Girl, that's not... - Whether you have kids or not. 63 00:03:06,310 --> 00:03:08,178 - That's so nasty. I'm not... - It may look weird, but... 64 00:03:08,220 --> 00:03:11,481 Oh. Ooh! 65 00:03:11,523 --> 00:03:12,916 Okay. 66 00:03:12,958 --> 00:03:15,888 Ready to go. Here comes gym. 67 00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:17,787 That's some white people shit. 68 00:03:24,321 --> 00:03:25,396 Oh, buddy. 69 00:03:26,031 --> 00:03:28,231 Guess why I'm smiling right now. 70 00:03:28,643 --> 00:03:30,088 Because I'm ridiculous? 71 00:03:30,130 --> 00:03:31,434 No. 72 00:03:31,476 --> 00:03:34,704 Because I see what's on the other side for you. 73 00:03:35,522 --> 00:03:38,208 In this case, the journey is not the reward. 74 00:03:38,250 --> 00:03:40,577 The reward is being on the other side 75 00:03:40,619 --> 00:03:42,679 and being free of this pain 76 00:03:42,721 --> 00:03:45,382 and knowing that he did you a favor. 77 00:03:46,241 --> 00:03:49,420 You could have used less of a blindside, but... 78 00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:51,654 garbage into gold. 79 00:03:51,696 --> 00:03:53,165 Let's go. 80 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,659 Oh, hi. 81 00:03:56,184 --> 00:03:58,191 Do you want to know why she's crying? 82 00:03:58,233 --> 00:04:00,630 Is that why you're looking? 83 00:04:00,672 --> 00:04:02,933 Well, she's 49. 84 00:04:02,975 --> 00:04:05,135 Her husband just left her. 85 00:04:05,177 --> 00:04:08,071 She's got macular degeneration. 86 00:04:08,113 --> 00:04:11,035 She's got a six-year-old and a semi-new baby. 87 00:04:11,077 --> 00:04:12,276 Oh, no. 88 00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:14,654 And, uh, she's gonna be 50. 89 00:04:14,696 --> 00:04:15,976 So... 90 00:04:17,022 --> 00:04:19,749 She's 50! 91 00:04:25,485 --> 00:04:27,752 I never did that when I was pregnant, 92 00:04:27,794 --> 00:04:29,046 and I have three. 93 00:04:29,088 --> 00:04:30,326 Hmm. 94 00:04:30,368 --> 00:04:32,629 And now I wish I had done more sit-ups. 95 00:04:32,671 --> 00:04:34,965 This is my fifth. 96 00:04:59,164 --> 00:05:01,313 I said, "I'm not doing this for you. 97 00:05:01,355 --> 00:05:03,796 I'm doing this for the man that I'm leaving you for." 98 00:05:04,904 --> 00:05:06,396 Amen. 99 00:05:06,438 --> 00:05:08,296 I mean "A-women." 100 00:05:08,338 --> 00:05:10,739 Oh. He knows I love his fat ass. 101 00:05:10,781 --> 00:05:12,019 I just don't love mine. 102 00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:14,507 Sam? Sam! 103 00:05:14,549 --> 00:05:17,822 I love seeing you here. It's Toussaint, President's mom. 104 00:05:17,864 --> 00:05:20,009 We worked on the bake sale together all those years. 105 00:05:20,051 --> 00:05:21,679 And I made those super strawberry scones, and you were 106 00:05:21,721 --> 00:05:23,314 like, "These are the best things I've ever had." 107 00:05:23,356 --> 00:05:24,648 - Yup. - It's so good to see you. 108 00:05:24,690 --> 00:05:27,451 - I didn't know you go here. - Yeah. I go here. 109 00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:30,049 President told me that Frankie skipped a grade. 110 00:05:30,091 --> 00:05:31,355 How did you pull that one off? 111 00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:33,824 I bet you had to really do some backflips for that one. 112 00:05:33,866 --> 00:05:36,203 And boy, oh, boy, that is... I don't want to scare you, 113 00:05:36,245 --> 00:05:38,862 but that is social suicide to the max element degree. 114 00:05:38,904 --> 00:05:40,473 I mean, don't freak out... It's not like she has to go 115 00:05:40,515 --> 00:05:42,432 to the hospital or anything... But you skip someone ahead, 116 00:05:42,474 --> 00:05:44,105 - and they could... - Who knows? 117 00:05:44,147 --> 00:05:47,253 How do I get my kids to give a two clown shit about school? 118 00:05:47,295 --> 00:05:49,340 What's your magic? I mean, all my kids want to do 119 00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:50,908 is eat toast and masturbate. 120 00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:52,369 I can't believe what you do. 121 00:05:52,411 --> 00:05:54,244 You're like an adolescent freak whisperer. 122 00:05:54,286 --> 00:05:56,690 You come to my house, I'll make you spaghetti. 123 00:05:56,732 --> 00:05:59,216 - I'll do anything you want. - I fucking love you, Sam Fox. 124 00:05:59,258 --> 00:06:01,785 And you're popular. But you've got roots. 125 00:06:01,827 --> 00:06:04,220 Jessica. We worked together on The Prowler. 126 00:06:04,262 --> 00:06:07,557 Yes. I'm sorry. Baby Jess. 127 00:06:07,599 --> 00:06:09,627 - You were the... - Demon hell child. 128 00:06:09,669 --> 00:06:12,657 How many times did they make you do that vomit sunflower? 129 00:06:12,699 --> 00:06:13,797 No, no, don't. 130 00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:16,100 Because I still can't go anywhere near clam chowder. 131 00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:17,439 - Right? - How are you? 132 00:06:17,481 --> 00:06:19,163 I heard you just signed with Mal. 133 00:06:19,205 --> 00:06:20,537 Oh. 134 00:06:20,579 --> 00:06:22,156 And the thing about you is, 135 00:06:22,198 --> 00:06:24,540 you are so brave in your work. 136 00:06:24,582 --> 00:06:27,077 And I love that you have real thighs 137 00:06:27,119 --> 00:06:28,639 and you aren't afraid to show them. 138 00:06:29,231 --> 00:06:32,348 My wife is gonna die. She loves you. 139 00:06:32,390 --> 00:06:34,341 - Huh. - This is really gonna work. 140 00:06:34,383 --> 00:06:35,834 He is the best. 141 00:06:35,876 --> 00:06:37,882 He just got me a three-show deal at Yougooglelu. 142 00:06:37,924 --> 00:06:38,931 Oh, shit. 143 00:06:38,973 --> 00:06:40,924 I was eavesdropping before on the machines. 144 00:06:40,966 --> 00:06:43,494 You are effing hilarious. 145 00:06:43,536 --> 00:06:46,596 Oh, well, her pain is pretty funny. 146 00:06:47,350 --> 00:06:49,064 Men are shit. 147 00:06:49,106 --> 00:06:50,556 I want to do something with you. 148 00:06:50,598 --> 00:06:52,003 I've got some ideas. I'm gonna call Mal. 149 00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:53,416 Are you in town for a while? 150 00:06:53,458 --> 00:06:55,381 Um, sure. Yeah. 151 00:06:59,818 --> 00:07:03,213 So, here is the best part. 152 00:07:03,645 --> 00:07:05,348 We get to go home now. 153 00:07:05,390 --> 00:07:08,052 Longest time ever before more gym. 154 00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,353 I'm proud of you. 155 00:07:09,395 --> 00:07:10,788 It does feel pretty good. 156 00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:12,155 Yes! 157 00:07:12,197 --> 00:07:15,115 The endorphins live! 158 00:07:16,326 --> 00:07:17,702 Now we drink. 159 00:07:21,435 --> 00:07:22,863 Just me. 160 00:07:22,906 --> 00:07:24,131 - Hi. - Hi. 161 00:07:24,173 --> 00:07:25,667 U-Untether me, please. 162 00:07:25,709 --> 00:07:26,967 Why? Are you showering? 163 00:07:27,009 --> 00:07:29,604 I don't track your grooming habits, do I? 164 00:07:29,646 --> 00:07:31,273 Well, you're not supposed to take it off 165 00:07:31,315 --> 00:07:33,041 - unless you're showering. - Ugh. 166 00:07:34,042 --> 00:07:36,410 Please. 167 00:07:39,889 --> 00:07:41,782 - Okay. Mm-hmm, well... - And the straps. 168 00:07:42,526 --> 00:07:45,596 Hey, Mom, I need you to sign this for me for school. 169 00:07:46,283 --> 00:07:47,354 Nice tits, Gran. 170 00:07:47,396 --> 00:07:48,556 Thank you, dear. 171 00:07:48,598 --> 00:07:50,424 Is that a new stained glass? 172 00:07:50,466 --> 00:07:52,126 It's pretty. 173 00:07:52,168 --> 00:07:53,994 No, it's been there for 20 years, Phil. 174 00:07:54,036 --> 00:07:55,249 - Bye. - Bye. 175 00:07:56,973 --> 00:07:58,066 Okay. 176 00:07:58,859 --> 00:08:00,602 Uh... 177 00:08:00,644 --> 00:08:03,604 - Okay, what is it... for? - Thank you. 178 00:08:03,646 --> 00:08:05,240 What did I sign? 179 00:08:17,526 --> 00:08:19,653 - Hello. - Not your manager, 180 00:08:19,695 --> 00:08:23,225 but I have very crazy professional news for you. 181 00:08:23,267 --> 00:08:25,846 Tasco's rebooting Ching of the Mill. 182 00:08:25,888 --> 00:08:28,128 - What?! - Donnie wants to meet with you 183 00:08:28,170 --> 00:08:29,576 out in Simi Valley tomorrow. 184 00:08:29,618 --> 00:08:31,409 I will send you all the details. 185 00:08:31,451 --> 00:08:32,967 Oh, my God. 186 00:08:33,009 --> 00:08:35,303 It's gonna be huge. Everyone wants in on this show. 187 00:08:35,345 --> 00:08:37,687 So I personally suggest you do it. 188 00:08:37,729 --> 00:08:40,942 This is so good! Maybe I can fix my roof. 189 00:08:40,984 --> 00:08:43,111 I'm almost poor. Did I tell you I'm poor now? 190 00:08:43,153 --> 00:08:44,940 Sorry to hear that. Regardless, I'm taking 15% 191 00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:46,046 if this thing is a go. 192 00:08:46,088 --> 00:08:47,482 Also, I'm not your manager. 193 00:08:47,524 --> 00:08:49,416 Also, I will see you Saturday with the kids. 194 00:08:49,458 --> 00:08:51,685 - Love you! See you Saturday. - Love you. 195 00:08:51,727 --> 00:08:53,020 Oh! 196 00:08:53,062 --> 00:08:55,991 Yes! Yes! 197 00:09:27,998 --> 00:09:31,025 We must cover the ribs 198 00:09:31,067 --> 00:09:33,727 so as not to burn them. 199 00:09:54,591 --> 00:09:56,918 Hi. Hi. 200 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,320 Do you have a lady dealer available? 201 00:09:59,362 --> 00:10:00,956 I'm sorry, all of our sales associates 202 00:10:00,998 --> 00:10:02,424 are busy at the moment. 203 00:10:02,466 --> 00:10:04,259 Did you make an appointment online? 204 00:10:04,794 --> 00:10:08,832 Oh, I didn't know that... 205 00:10:08,874 --> 00:10:11,866 Uh, I thought this was just, like, a car dealership 206 00:10:11,908 --> 00:10:14,102 and you could walk in and look at a car. 207 00:10:14,144 --> 00:10:15,437 We don't take walk-ins. 208 00:10:17,147 --> 00:10:19,640 - Hey. Sorry I'm late. - I told you. 209 00:10:19,682 --> 00:10:21,175 Nobody will help me. 210 00:10:21,217 --> 00:10:23,410 Are you looking for a new car experience today? 211 00:10:23,452 --> 00:10:25,746 I think it's my wife here 212 00:10:25,788 --> 00:10:27,348 that needs your help. Come here, Pooh. 213 00:10:27,390 --> 00:10:28,449 Oh. 214 00:10:28,491 --> 00:10:29,650 She's such a different person 215 00:10:29,692 --> 00:10:31,285 since she went through the change last year. 216 00:10:32,278 --> 00:10:33,288 Do you need your fan? 217 00:10:34,931 --> 00:10:36,623 Do you need some water? 218 00:10:39,668 --> 00:10:41,062 So, what's the story? 219 00:10:41,104 --> 00:10:42,463 You want to look at the Pacifica? 220 00:10:42,505 --> 00:10:44,399 I'm not getting another van. 221 00:10:44,441 --> 00:10:46,067 But you have a lot of people. 222 00:10:46,109 --> 00:10:47,901 I really don't. Max drives herself, 223 00:10:47,943 --> 00:10:49,471 and I'm usually alone now. 224 00:10:50,105 --> 00:10:51,482 You're never alone. 225 00:10:52,849 --> 00:10:54,708 So that's it? I'm just neutered. 226 00:10:54,750 --> 00:10:57,478 I used to drive an eight-cylinder '88 Fox-body 227 00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:00,102 which was absorbed into the dealership 228 00:11:00,144 --> 00:11:02,650 when I traded it in for the mommy van. 229 00:11:02,692 --> 00:11:03,832 You're a mommy. 230 00:11:04,528 --> 00:11:06,221 I want something cool. 231 00:11:06,263 --> 00:11:07,942 Why do you get to drive this truck? 232 00:11:08,697 --> 00:11:11,001 - You have kids. - You have kids. 233 00:11:12,034 --> 00:11:13,294 It's different for guys. 234 00:11:13,336 --> 00:11:14,554 I know. 235 00:11:21,445 --> 00:11:23,004 Jesus. 236 00:11:23,046 --> 00:11:25,774 Look how fucking low I am. 237 00:11:25,816 --> 00:11:27,809 I need, like, ten pillows. 238 00:11:27,851 --> 00:11:29,810 I feel like I'm driving my dad's car. 239 00:11:29,852 --> 00:11:32,514 Do you have anything with a stick? Like, anything fun? 240 00:11:32,556 --> 00:11:34,281 Pretty much everything's automatic these days. 241 00:11:34,323 --> 00:11:35,551 - Mm... - Can you even drive a stick? 242 00:11:36,166 --> 00:11:38,653 What are you talking about? Zombie escape plan. 243 00:11:38,695 --> 00:11:42,022 I tell all the girls that they have to learn to drive a stick. 244 00:11:42,064 --> 00:11:44,291 Because in the apocalypse, there's gonna be 245 00:11:44,333 --> 00:11:48,262 one lone prospector with a gas pump, a slash of rope 246 00:11:48,304 --> 00:11:52,199 and a landline, and he's gonna fix the end of the world. 247 00:11:52,241 --> 00:11:54,269 - She actually tells them this. - Sounds like a good plan. 248 00:11:54,311 --> 00:11:57,338 Just maybe I should do 249 00:11:57,380 --> 00:12:00,574 the responsibly thing and get an electric job. 250 00:12:00,616 --> 00:12:02,641 Oh, we got the i3 over here. 251 00:12:03,220 --> 00:12:04,712 Whoa. 252 00:12:04,754 --> 00:12:06,647 That car is ugly as shit. 253 00:12:06,689 --> 00:12:08,882 Some people really like it. It's good for the environment. 254 00:12:08,924 --> 00:12:11,086 You should take it for a couple days and try it out. 255 00:12:11,128 --> 00:12:12,520 I don't have a charger thingy. 256 00:12:12,562 --> 00:12:14,389 Just go to the mall or any parking lot. 257 00:12:14,431 --> 00:12:15,689 They've got them everywhere. 258 00:12:15,731 --> 00:12:18,626 "Almost Nude Maids"? What the hell? 259 00:12:18,668 --> 00:12:20,663 That's how I met my wife. 260 00:12:22,038 --> 00:12:24,933 I'm kidding, I'm kidding. 261 00:12:24,975 --> 00:12:26,501 Hey, hey. 262 00:12:26,543 --> 00:12:28,368 Oh. Hey, Brad. 263 00:12:28,410 --> 00:12:30,270 Hey, Sam. What happened to the minivan? 264 00:12:30,312 --> 00:12:32,249 Oh, this is a loaner. 265 00:12:36,318 --> 00:12:39,546 So, you know, we really like your mom. 266 00:12:39,588 --> 00:12:41,849 - Oh, God. - But she's been swimming 267 00:12:41,891 --> 00:12:43,251 in our pool. 268 00:12:43,293 --> 00:12:45,019 A-Actually, that's not even the issue. 269 00:12:45,061 --> 00:12:47,322 I mean, we don't mind if she wants to swim, but... 270 00:12:47,364 --> 00:12:48,773 if she could just... 271 00:12:50,133 --> 00:12:51,825 cover herself up? 272 00:12:51,867 --> 00:12:54,194 It's just, we got young boys, and, well, y-your mother 273 00:12:54,236 --> 00:12:59,099 doesn't exactly have the body of a woman her age. 274 00:12:59,141 --> 00:13:01,769 God. Brad, I'm so sorry. 275 00:13:01,811 --> 00:13:05,707 We-we really don't want to make this into a thing, you know? 276 00:13:05,749 --> 00:13:08,242 Actually, you know, we're thrilled that she dropped 277 00:13:08,284 --> 00:13:09,910 the lawsuit against our dogs. 278 00:13:09,952 --> 00:13:13,014 If she could wear a swimsuit or something, 279 00:13:13,056 --> 00:13:15,415 - we'd be really grateful. - Yeah. 280 00:13:15,457 --> 00:13:16,918 - No. I know. - Say anything, just... 281 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,120 - Can you...? Bye. - Oh. Oh. 282 00:13:19,162 --> 00:13:20,454 Sorry. 283 00:13:20,496 --> 00:13:22,524 - Say hi to your wife. - Okay. 284 00:13:22,566 --> 00:13:25,352 - Laura? Laura, I think. - Lisa. It's Lisa. 285 00:13:27,669 --> 00:13:30,564 ♪ Paradise, feeling's nice ♪ 286 00:13:30,606 --> 00:13:32,666 ♪ When you turn out the lights ♪ 287 00:13:34,041 --> 00:13:35,435 ♪ La, la, la... ♪ 288 00:13:35,477 --> 00:13:37,403 Okay, what's the point? 289 00:13:37,445 --> 00:13:40,239 So good to see you. My God, how cool is this? 290 00:13:40,281 --> 00:13:42,309 - Huh? - Oh, my God, it's amazing. 291 00:13:42,351 --> 00:13:44,744 - How are the girls doing? - They're great, they're great. 292 00:13:44,786 --> 00:13:47,013 I mean, they're all older than me now, but... 293 00:13:47,055 --> 00:13:50,316 Well, yeah. I mean, uh, Milo just graduated from Cal Poly. 294 00:13:50,358 --> 00:13:52,219 - Jack's studying to be a vet. - Wow. 295 00:13:52,261 --> 00:13:54,153 - I know. - I hear it's harder to be a vet 296 00:13:54,195 --> 00:13:55,706 - than to be a human-people doctor. - That's true. 297 00:13:55,748 --> 00:13:58,208 That's ac... Yeah, 'cause you got to master all the, uh, 298 00:13:58,250 --> 00:14:01,278 all the, uh, you know, additional, uh, anatomies... 299 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:04,080 - ...and stuff like that. - Oh, my God. This is so great. 300 00:14:04,122 --> 00:14:05,128 - I can't believe... - Yeah, so listen, uh, 301 00:14:05,170 --> 00:14:06,183 thanks for doing this. 302 00:14:06,225 --> 00:14:07,818 - I know it's just like... - When do we start? 303 00:14:07,860 --> 00:14:09,450 ...it's crazy awkward, and... 304 00:14:14,338 --> 00:14:16,326 Oh, God. Your manager didn't 305 00:14:16,368 --> 00:14:18,696 explain the, uh, the situation. 306 00:14:18,738 --> 00:14:20,697 - Oh, shit. - Well, what? 307 00:14:20,739 --> 00:14:22,533 I'm kind of in between managers right now. 308 00:14:22,575 --> 00:14:24,201 What-what situation? 309 00:14:24,243 --> 00:14:26,736 It's just a formality, okay? 310 00:14:26,778 --> 00:14:30,740 But, uh, we need you to read for the part. 311 00:14:30,782 --> 00:14:32,009 Oh, that's fine. 312 00:14:32,051 --> 00:14:34,378 - Which part? - Uh, Rooster. 313 00:14:34,420 --> 00:14:36,714 Look, w-we don't know, we don't know if we're gonna, 314 00:14:36,756 --> 00:14:38,416 uh, age him up, age him down 315 00:14:38,458 --> 00:14:40,350 or do something completely, you know, different. 316 00:14:40,392 --> 00:14:41,852 - Oh... - Listen, listen, listen. 317 00:14:41,894 --> 00:14:43,553 - I know what you can do. Okay? - Mm-hmm. 318 00:14:43,595 --> 00:14:45,755 I mean, you know that. It's not me. 319 00:14:45,797 --> 00:14:49,494 It's just these new... exquisite corpse corps. 320 00:14:50,285 --> 00:14:53,530 Yeah. They want me to read for my part? 321 00:14:53,572 --> 00:14:55,633 The part that I did for ten years. 322 00:14:55,675 --> 00:14:58,568 The part I won a Genie Golden Halo Award for? 323 00:14:58,610 --> 00:15:00,138 And well-deserved. 324 00:15:00,180 --> 00:15:02,616 I mean, I mean, well-deserved, right? 325 00:15:05,531 --> 00:15:07,010 There she is. 326 00:15:07,052 --> 00:15:08,613 - Hey. - Hey. 327 00:15:09,039 --> 00:15:10,981 - What's up? - How are you? 328 00:15:11,023 --> 00:15:13,783 - How are the girls? - Good. They're great. They're great. 329 00:15:13,825 --> 00:15:16,453 - How are your girls? - Uh, the girls are great. Yeah. 330 00:15:16,495 --> 00:15:18,923 And then I got-got other kids, too. They're good. 331 00:15:18,965 --> 00:15:21,792 - Oh. You do? - Um, yeah. Long story short, 332 00:15:21,834 --> 00:15:26,429 I-I had a vasectomy and... didn't work, and so basically, 333 00:15:26,471 --> 00:15:29,499 I've got six kids... They're all 13. 334 00:15:29,541 --> 00:15:32,135 - Ah. - Not sextuplets. 335 00:15:32,177 --> 00:15:34,839 - 13, yeah. Um... - Wow. Yeah. 336 00:15:34,881 --> 00:15:37,654 And that's why we're doing the reboot. 337 00:15:37,696 --> 00:15:41,034 Yeah, you got to get that orthodontia money. 338 00:15:41,076 --> 00:15:43,463 - Yeah. But, uh, hey. - Okay, well... 339 00:15:43,505 --> 00:15:44,815 Kill the people, Sammy. 340 00:15:44,857 --> 00:15:46,116 - Cool. Yeah. - You're gonna crush it. 341 00:15:46,158 --> 00:15:48,619 - Amazing. Okay. - Come on. All righty. 342 00:15:48,661 --> 00:15:49,671 Good luck. Or... 343 00:15:49,713 --> 00:15:50,954 - You don't need it. We'll see you. - Thanks. 344 00:15:50,996 --> 00:15:52,490 - Thanks, boss. - All righty. - Close... Mike. 345 00:15:52,532 --> 00:15:54,258 - Close the fucking door, dude. Come on. - Oh, yeah. 346 00:15:54,300 --> 00:15:56,268 This is just a formality, all right? Everyone is doing it. 347 00:15:56,310 --> 00:15:57,588 - Okay. Yeah. - Okay? You know? 348 00:15:57,630 --> 00:15:59,663 I mean, Maddie, Brittany, Carlos, Henry... 349 00:15:59,705 --> 00:16:01,815 - Oh, they all...? - Yeah. 350 00:16:01,857 --> 00:16:04,168 - That makes me feel better. - Yeah. 351 00:16:04,210 --> 00:16:06,070 And you're, you know, you're Rooster, for God's sakes. 352 00:16:06,112 --> 00:16:08,673 - Just give me a little, would you? - Okay. 353 00:16:08,715 --> 00:16:10,474 Poop-poop, pop, purple, 354 00:16:10,516 --> 00:16:12,634 - people, pretzel. - Good. 355 00:16:13,023 --> 00:16:14,325 - Pencil. - Good. All right, listen, 356 00:16:14,367 --> 00:16:15,741 I'm gonna turn my back on you. 357 00:16:15,783 --> 00:16:18,259 All right? So, I know you know that doesn't mean I'm being rude 358 00:16:18,301 --> 00:16:20,037 - or anything, okay? Right? - Oh, no. 359 00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:21,851 You did this at my original audition, and... 360 00:16:21,893 --> 00:16:23,988 - All right. All right. - Ain't no... Okay. 361 00:16:24,030 --> 00:16:25,497 Okay, so, 362 00:16:25,539 --> 00:16:27,999 - whenever you're ready. Action. - Okay. 363 00:16:28,041 --> 00:16:30,327 A bee stung my head. 364 00:16:30,369 --> 00:16:32,395 Okay, good. Uh, just try, 365 00:16:32,437 --> 00:16:34,518 just try pitching it up a little bit, Sam. 366 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,167 Okay, sure. 367 00:16:36,209 --> 00:16:39,641 A bee stung my head. 368 00:16:40,517 --> 00:16:43,941 Teacher said my toaster was pandiculated. 369 00:16:43,983 --> 00:16:45,909 Santa can't bring me an uninfect... 370 00:16:45,951 --> 00:16:47,577 All right, fine. Good, stop. 371 00:16:47,619 --> 00:16:49,346 Jesus, God. 372 00:16:49,388 --> 00:16:51,349 God, you're brilliant. You are. 373 00:16:51,391 --> 00:16:54,158 I mean, you were always so good off the page. Right? 374 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:56,379 - Yeah. - I'm serious. Huh? 375 00:16:56,421 --> 00:16:58,188 - Thanks. - You gonna be in town for a while? 376 00:16:58,230 --> 00:16:59,621 Yeah, sure, I'm in town. 377 00:16:59,663 --> 00:17:00,991 - Where am I going? - Yeah, right? 378 00:17:01,033 --> 00:17:03,193 - Yeah. - Hey, hey. 379 00:17:03,235 --> 00:17:05,528 Hey. Wait. 380 00:17:05,570 --> 00:17:06,931 It's Curly. You remember, you remember Curly. 381 00:17:06,973 --> 00:17:09,165 - Yes! Yes. - Yeah. 382 00:17:09,207 --> 00:17:11,301 You're the P.A. who would stock the green room 383 00:17:11,343 --> 00:17:12,903 with all our favorite snacks. 384 00:17:12,945 --> 00:17:15,785 Slim Jims and wasabi peanuts. 385 00:17:15,827 --> 00:17:17,920 - Still my favorite. - Amazing. 386 00:17:17,962 --> 00:17:20,443 I want to get some for the road, if you don't mind. 387 00:17:20,485 --> 00:17:23,681 Oh, uh, I'm-I'm actually not a P.A. anymore. 388 00:17:23,723 --> 00:17:26,279 I'm one of the executive producers now. 389 00:17:26,321 --> 00:17:30,106 - I-I'm happy to-to get you some Slim... - Cool. Cool, cool, cool. 390 00:17:30,148 --> 00:17:32,208 - You said Slim Jims? - No, no, no, no, no. You know what? 391 00:17:32,250 --> 00:17:34,477 There's a 7-Eleven down the street anyway. 392 00:17:34,519 --> 00:17:35,912 - Congratula... That's great. - Yeah... Thank you. 393 00:17:35,954 --> 00:17:37,379 - Okay. Mm-hmm. - Thank you. 394 00:17:37,421 --> 00:17:39,315 - I love you. I adore you. - Love, yes. 395 00:17:39,357 --> 00:17:40,549 So, I'm gonna see you soon, eh? 396 00:17:40,591 --> 00:17:42,868 Gee, I hope I get my own part. 397 00:17:42,910 --> 00:17:44,168 Peace. 398 00:17:44,210 --> 00:17:46,310 How'd it go? 399 00:17:46,697 --> 00:17:48,590 Awkward as fuck. 400 00:17:52,025 --> 00:17:55,942 ♪ I'll be a sky so full of empty now ♪ 401 00:17:55,984 --> 00:17:59,969 ♪ That little falcons dive into, lover ♪ 402 00:18:00,011 --> 00:18:04,472 ♪ So when I'm restless they can lead somehow ♪ 403 00:18:04,514 --> 00:18:08,911 ♪ What in the world I'm gonna do out here ♪ 404 00:18:08,953 --> 00:18:12,615 ♪ I feel that I'm a little lost most of the time ♪ 405 00:18:12,657 --> 00:18:15,593 ♪ But I don't really mind. ♪ 406 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,406 Serious? 407 00:18:56,033 --> 00:18:58,369 Yes. 408 00:19:00,538 --> 00:19:01,696 Oh. 409 00:19:01,738 --> 00:19:04,308 Hi. 410 00:19:05,776 --> 00:19:07,302 Need something? 411 00:19:07,344 --> 00:19:08,570 Uh, yeah. 412 00:19:08,612 --> 00:19:10,573 Can you help me? 413 00:19:10,615 --> 00:19:11,944 Depends how you mean it. 414 00:19:12,582 --> 00:19:14,363 That your golf cart? 415 00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:17,879 Uh, ha! Yeah. 416 00:19:17,921 --> 00:19:19,714 I need a tow truck. 417 00:19:19,756 --> 00:19:21,483 Or an extension cord. 418 00:19:21,525 --> 00:19:24,052 And my cell phone's being stupid, so... 419 00:19:24,094 --> 00:19:25,820 There's not very good reception around here 420 00:19:25,862 --> 00:19:27,323 at the end of the world. 421 00:19:27,365 --> 00:19:29,968 Mm. 422 00:19:35,369 --> 00:19:37,975 Feel free to use my landline. 423 00:19:40,267 --> 00:19:41,336 Oh. 424 00:19:48,628 --> 00:19:49,790 Bango. 425 00:19:56,579 --> 00:19:58,616 What do you got under there? 426 00:20:00,165 --> 00:20:01,908 You want me to take it out? 427 00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:03,845 Oh, no. No, that's cool. 428 00:20:03,887 --> 00:20:08,892 No. Any excuse to get her out. 429 00:20:13,171 --> 00:20:14,856 I love looking at this car. 430 00:20:16,299 --> 00:20:18,760 - Yeah. - Whoa. 431 00:20:19,101 --> 00:20:20,703 Yes! 432 00:20:22,857 --> 00:20:24,150 Chromey beauty. 433 00:20:24,664 --> 00:20:26,901 Run your fingers along these edges. 434 00:20:26,943 --> 00:20:28,769 Like here and underneath. 435 00:20:29,470 --> 00:20:30,738 You feel that? 436 00:20:30,780 --> 00:20:33,607 Yeah, there's no rough spots on this car anywhere. 437 00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:37,245 When I was a kid, my neighbor had a car like this, 438 00:20:37,287 --> 00:20:39,881 and it had this weird back thing. 439 00:20:39,923 --> 00:20:41,248 What is this called? 440 00:20:41,290 --> 00:20:44,160 - They call it a truck bed. - Mm. 441 00:20:45,728 --> 00:20:47,622 - Get in. - Oh, no. 442 00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:49,289 I couldn't. I don't want to hurt it. 443 00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:52,325 A lot of people will tell you a car like this, 444 00:20:52,367 --> 00:20:55,095 you should just bring it to auto shows on Sunday. 445 00:20:55,137 --> 00:20:57,040 - It's shameful. - Mm. 446 00:20:58,774 --> 00:21:01,043 This is a driving car. 447 00:21:03,312 --> 00:21:05,640 I feel like a getaway driver. 448 00:21:05,682 --> 00:21:07,575 Not with your hands off the wheel. 449 00:21:07,617 --> 00:21:10,076 Ooh. 450 00:21:10,118 --> 00:21:11,178 And it's wood. 451 00:21:11,220 --> 00:21:13,223 How bad is it for the environment? 452 00:21:14,323 --> 00:21:15,891 Really bad. 453 00:21:16,492 --> 00:21:17,751 Mmm. 454 00:21:17,793 --> 00:21:20,555 Har-loo! 455 00:21:20,597 --> 00:21:24,258 Hello. I have something very life-changing 456 00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:25,860 to share with you. 457 00:21:25,902 --> 00:21:28,563 Or change of life-ing. Hmm. 458 00:21:28,605 --> 00:21:29,796 - Mom. Mom, Mom. - What? 459 00:21:29,838 --> 00:21:31,364 Can you make me a grilled cheese sandwich 460 00:21:31,406 --> 00:21:32,633 with the Cheshire cheese you bought? 461 00:21:32,675 --> 00:21:34,302 - What? - Can you make me, uh, the... 462 00:21:34,344 --> 00:21:35,803 With the Cheshire cheese that... 463 00:21:35,845 --> 00:21:37,371 Excuse me. 464 00:21:37,413 --> 00:21:39,774 - Hello. - Hi. 465 00:21:39,816 --> 00:21:43,462 Hi. How are you? 466 00:21:43,504 --> 00:21:46,212 Could you please... move... 467 00:21:46,254 --> 00:21:48,248 to the side? 468 00:21:52,328 --> 00:21:55,065 Hmm. Mm-hmm. 469 00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:57,825 Mm-hmm. 470 00:21:57,867 --> 00:21:59,226 What?! No! 471 00:21:59,268 --> 00:22:00,561 What is that?! 472 00:22:00,603 --> 00:22:02,963 Oh, you got to get out. 473 00:22:03,005 --> 00:22:04,498 Can you please get out? Get out. 474 00:22:04,540 --> 00:22:06,167 Please, go to your own homes. 475 00:22:06,209 --> 00:22:08,035 Or to a parking lot. I don't care. 476 00:22:08,077 --> 00:22:10,671 But just... don't be in my house right now. 477 00:22:10,713 --> 00:22:11,905 Mom. 478 00:22:11,947 --> 00:22:13,574 - Mom, Mom, look at me. Mom. - Ooh! 479 00:22:13,616 --> 00:22:15,543 Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. 480 00:22:15,585 --> 00:22:16,943 - Ugh. - It's-it's a chinchilla. 481 00:22:16,985 --> 00:22:18,578 It's like a giant furry mouse. 482 00:22:18,620 --> 00:22:20,381 Ooh! 483 00:22:20,423 --> 00:22:23,750 Oh, so, how did this get here? 484 00:22:23,792 --> 00:22:26,252 Did somebody close a zoo? Who paid for this? 485 00:22:26,294 --> 00:22:27,854 Did somebody pay for this? 486 00:22:27,896 --> 00:22:29,390 We didn't do it on purpose. 487 00:22:29,432 --> 00:22:32,526 We went to the store to get boneys for the dogs. 488 00:22:32,568 --> 00:22:33,893 And Duke fell in love with it. 489 00:22:33,935 --> 00:22:36,497 She hasn't had a pet like this since Mandy Patinkin died. 490 00:22:37,041 --> 00:22:39,700 Mm-hmm. Okay, so I'm just curious, though. 491 00:22:39,742 --> 00:22:42,135 So you guys went to a store. 492 00:22:42,177 --> 00:22:46,606 So that means that you paid money for this. 493 00:22:46,648 --> 00:22:49,442 So I'm just wondering how you got the money. 494 00:22:50,252 --> 00:22:51,528 I paid for it. 495 00:22:53,289 --> 00:22:55,850 - Oh. - On your credit card. 496 00:22:55,892 --> 00:22:57,652 Oh, that's awesome. 497 00:22:57,694 --> 00:23:01,921 Max, pick the box up with that thing, 498 00:23:01,963 --> 00:23:03,923 and bring it outside. 499 00:23:03,965 --> 00:23:05,726 - Now. Now. - Mom, Mom, its name is Priscilla. 500 00:23:05,768 --> 00:23:06,927 Priscilla the Chinchilla. 501 00:23:06,969 --> 00:23:09,326 Pick up Priscilla, 502 00:23:09,368 --> 00:23:11,265 and bring her outside 503 00:23:11,307 --> 00:23:14,567 to my new car, which I was gonna celebrate, 504 00:23:14,609 --> 00:23:16,780 but you thunder-stealing chinchilla... 505 00:23:16,822 --> 00:23:18,471 - Wait, when did you get a new car, Mom? - New car? 506 00:23:18,513 --> 00:23:19,739 Did you say new car? 507 00:23:19,781 --> 00:23:21,075 Mom, you promised me the minivan. 508 00:23:21,117 --> 00:23:22,276 You're full of shit, Mom. 509 00:23:22,714 --> 00:23:24,453 No, I am not. 510 00:23:25,813 --> 00:23:28,061 Did this thing even pass smog check? 511 00:23:28,103 --> 00:23:30,617 I don't know. I highly doubt it would. 512 00:23:30,659 --> 00:23:32,916 Mom, this car doesn't fit all of us. 513 00:23:32,958 --> 00:23:35,933 I know. Max, get in. 514 00:23:35,975 --> 00:23:37,416 No fair! 515 00:23:37,458 --> 00:23:39,626 Too bad, sucka. That's what you get 516 00:23:39,668 --> 00:23:41,961 for buying a chinchilla behind my back. 517 00:23:42,003 --> 00:23:43,163 Go inside. 518 00:23:47,609 --> 00:23:49,045 Yeah, baby! 519 00:23:52,389 --> 00:23:55,900 Unfortunately, there's no return on pets, only store credit. 520 00:23:55,942 --> 00:23:59,871 I'm not trying to spend $300 on dog food and bones. 521 00:23:59,913 --> 00:24:02,937 We have a very fine selection of pets that you can choose from. 522 00:24:02,979 --> 00:24:06,177 I don't want another pet. I want my money back. 523 00:24:06,219 --> 00:24:08,211 You're the one who sold this dog mouse 524 00:24:08,253 --> 00:24:11,015 to a minor without parental consent. 525 00:24:11,057 --> 00:24:12,793 No, I didn't. I sold it to her. 526 00:24:14,126 --> 00:24:15,419 Anyway, 527 00:24:15,461 --> 00:24:16,920 he's been returned too many times. 528 00:24:16,962 --> 00:24:18,555 They'll probably put him down. 529 00:24:18,597 --> 00:24:20,600 - Oh, shit. - Oh... 530 00:24:21,768 --> 00:24:23,527 - Huh, fella? - Jesus. 531 00:24:26,439 --> 00:24:28,609 I'll be right back. 532 00:24:30,343 --> 00:24:32,603 - Hello. I just would like 533 00:24:32,645 --> 00:24:35,139 to start this phone call by saying I'm not your manager. 534 00:24:35,181 --> 00:24:37,440 - Stop saying that. - Well, it's true. 535 00:24:37,482 --> 00:24:41,711 And, okay, so they're going with all the original cast... 536 00:24:41,753 --> 00:24:43,480 That's great! 537 00:24:43,522 --> 00:24:45,864 ...except for Rooster. 538 00:24:45,906 --> 00:24:46,984 What? 539 00:24:47,026 --> 00:24:49,786 They're getting Lazlo Barber. 540 00:24:49,828 --> 00:24:51,788 Lazlo Barber is dead. 541 00:24:51,830 --> 00:24:52,957 I know. 542 00:24:52,999 --> 00:24:55,226 So, what are you talking about? 543 00:24:55,268 --> 00:24:58,662 Th-They're doing something, a new technology 544 00:24:58,704 --> 00:25:01,199 called Vocology Sernagraphio. 545 00:25:01,241 --> 00:25:03,234 They piece together his voice. 546 00:25:03,276 --> 00:25:05,402 I mean they have, like, over 10,000 hours 547 00:25:05,444 --> 00:25:06,815 of recordings of him. 548 00:25:06,857 --> 00:25:10,874 Okay, so you're telling me that an actually dead person 549 00:25:10,916 --> 00:25:15,813 is getting a part over me, which is my actual part? 550 00:25:15,855 --> 00:25:18,583 Ugh, I hate being the bearer of bad news. Jesus. 551 00:25:18,625 --> 00:25:20,722 It's nothing personal, Sam. 552 00:25:20,764 --> 00:25:23,420 They just wanted to go in a different direction. 553 00:25:25,584 --> 00:25:27,453 It just wasn't the right fit. 554 00:25:27,914 --> 00:25:31,195 It was the right fit... for a decade. 555 00:25:31,603 --> 00:25:33,864 The guys said they love you and they will keep you in mind 556 00:25:33,906 --> 00:25:35,498 for incidental characters. 557 00:25:39,779 --> 00:25:41,103 Oh, well. 558 00:25:42,938 --> 00:25:44,941 Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. 559 00:25:44,983 --> 00:25:46,125 Exactly. 560 00:25:57,997 --> 00:26:00,467 Oof. 561 00:26:06,571 --> 00:26:10,101 Mom. Mom. 562 00:26:10,143 --> 00:26:11,334 She's nice. 563 00:26:11,376 --> 00:26:12,636 Whoa. 564 00:26:12,678 --> 00:26:14,705 - It's a girl? - Yeah, it's a girl. 565 00:26:14,747 --> 00:26:17,217 - Look. - Huh. 566 00:26:22,488 --> 00:26:24,681 Okay. 567 00:26:30,395 --> 00:26:31,632 Mom? 568 00:26:33,598 --> 00:26:35,226 What the fuck? 569 00:26:35,268 --> 00:26:40,240 Welcome to my midlife crisis! 570 00:26:44,109 --> 00:26:45,568 Can I drive your new whip? 571 00:26:45,610 --> 00:26:47,837 Hmm. 572 00:26:49,414 --> 00:26:50,674 Okay. 573 00:26:51,407 --> 00:26:54,218 I have to tend to the livestock anyway. 574 00:26:55,302 --> 00:26:56,789 Let's go home, baby. 575 00:26:57,956 --> 00:26:59,583 Let's go, snakey. 576 00:26:59,625 --> 00:27:02,253 Oh, cool, it's raining again. 577 00:27:02,295 --> 00:27:04,064 It's so cool. 578 00:27:07,567 --> 00:27:08,926 Be careful. 579 00:27:08,968 --> 00:27:10,695 You got the windshield wipers? 580 00:27:10,737 --> 00:27:13,215 I think we should call her Betty White. 581 00:27:13,257 --> 00:27:14,602 Betty White? 582 00:27:19,354 --> 00:27:24,107 Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com 41478

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