Original subtitles

way out is brought to you by LM LM

unlocks a new world of fresh smoking

pleasure every time you light up and now

our host through all gone how are you I

have here a letter from mrs. B of Long

Island which will be of great interest

to all members of the married woman's

Union dear sir it says some time ago in

order to get rid of the rats on my

premises I concocted a rat poison in my

own kitchen it serves to make quite sure

that it was effective I decided to try

it on my husband first if it'll work on

him I thought vehicle sure as heck work

on the rat well sir it worked on both

and I should now like to pass on the

recipe for the benefit of any lady in

your audience who may have a rat in the

house half a pound of chicken livers

quarter of a pound of mushrooms the

juice of a porcupine and one-third stool

of the species

Amanita phalloides or the death kappa

cook well a mash into a delicious pate

yours truly etc yes the death cap is

very pretty little toadstool with a

greenish yellow top and there are plenty

of them in the woods thank you so much

mrs. B of Long Island and now before you

all go running up to the woods with your

baskets I strongly recommend that you

watch tonight's play by Jerome Ross it's

called 20/20 and it's way start fresh

stay fresh

fresh smokin pleasure the touch of a

light to an LM you unlock a whole new

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with dried out taste for good the secret

flavor sealed L&M special way of

moisturizing factor to seal in natural

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burned slower

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if means you get the cleanest freshest

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fresh smoke pleasure start fresh with a

fresh tasting best tasting LM in pack or

box

I thought I heard somebody come in yes

sir what can we do for you son beloved

pet perhaps you'd like to have stuff my

name is Clark I concur V Cartwright

I'm a Salesman for the anthropological

publishing company the right company I

believe you'll notice about the free

trial offer on our new encyclopedia

now this win over Rocha what would we

want with an encyclopedia in a place

like this but this is 8 1 7 4 2nd Street

isn't good

well that's what I've got written down

yeah well I guess I copied it wrong in

the office yes you did

if there's dawn glasses I bet new

reading glasses I've only had him a few

days now not used to them yet I've been

making all kinds of mistakes for them

the gentleman came all the way out here

by mistake he has new reading glasses

and he can't see with her she's talking

to a stuffed snake well they're thick as

thieves my wife Mahatma what

it's moving it's alive very much alive

aren't you precious he's an Indian Viper

comes all the way from India but how how

is it he's alive but why shouldn't he be

alive we don't stop everything we keep

one or two of them as special pets but

aren't Viper sort of dangerous dangerous

mr. Cartwright if Mahatma were to rear

up out of that tank and you kept but

they're deadly - oh yes quiet oh I got

to go this is ridiculous

these glasses are supposed to give me

20/20 vision you can't trust anything

nowadays you can't trust any human being

here well it's nice meeting you folks

oh no don't go long as you came all the

way out here maybe we can make it up to

you now these books that you're selling

Oh terrific all for ten volumes the new

anthropological encyclopedia to buy on

time don't you put logic yes sir

that means pertaining to man doesn't it

yes sir complete accounts of prehistoric

man ancient man medieval man I'm sorry

we wouldn't be interested my wife means

we don't happen to care very much for

the human race animals yes but not

people animals are the only ones worth

preserving

yes what I see what you mean

you just talk to me why not he's a

talking minor bird he's major the minor

get it yes thank you very much I'll

forgive me but I do think you folks

ought to be more careful

I mean it's risky having a viper loose

and when people come in Oh bless you

people never come in here what I said

people never come here we're alone

usually just us and be animals

did you check out the garbage

yes another code right so dude

I suppose you got caught in that rain

today yes sir I did I went well four

years old and the only job you are

capable of this peddling books in the

rain Stephanie I had quite an adventure

there was this candy shop at least in

about the rain no he wasn't in a very

good mood this morning so long he'll

never be in the right road for you

Stanley used to say there was a certain

type of office grudge that nobody

treated with respect

yeah first husband said lots of things

you keep quoting Lea quoting and quoting

he had enough gumption not to put up a

boss who treated him like dirt paid him

in peanuts and then sent him out in the

rain

these glasses are ridiculous I can't see

a thing listen to what happened to me

with them today it was I always found

Stanley's reading glasses very helpful

yes dear

I don't doubt it

you know what Stephanie I met this

couple today in taxidermists they say

they like animals better than people I

don't open the window when you go to bed

or you'll keep me awake all night with a

coughing and sneezing

right I've got something to say to you

over warnings - hello - using properly

look at this inventory list look at it

take a look at it you've copied

everything wrong oh I'm sorry mr.

Holsten I'm having trouble with the new

glasses

you always have an alibi for your

incompetence don't you Cartwright

mr. Cartwright well it's nice to see you

again this is simply amazing I was

sitting in my office I put on these

glasses and all of a sudden don't worry

dear we're delighted to have you back

but I want to tell you folks something

it's nice to be back

oh I bought this place

it's a quiet no people I guess that's

the main thing I liked what you said

about just the animals and no people

hello Mahatma hi how are you folks all

right hey easier to get on with in many

ways in all ways today I'm stay involved

oh I'm sorry I'm afraid I can't right

now

did you hear what I said Cartwright's

you'll always have an alibi for your

incompetence don't you Oh go climb a

tree double up what I didn't mean that

it just slipped out but you're always

riding me you're perfectly right I

didn't lose my temper Cartwright and I

apologize

you would have been proud of me today my

depth at Boca I told mr. Huddleston a

signet oh he gave you the raise no we

didn't get around to that but I don't

want to hear about it I'm ordering two

weeping willows you're what

well Stanley's mausoleum I'm going to

have those two little blue spruce trees

move to the back and on Sunday we'll

drive out to the cemetery and see how it

look Stephanie I have one day off a week

why do I have to keep spending it

visiting Stanley's grave you ought to

feel honored sanctified oh I realize I'm

not worth the ground

Stanley's buried in but this is going

too far oh you're telling me I bet there

isn't a single soul living in Irvington

New Jersey who hasn't wondered why I

waste my life on such an amoeba well I

must have been an amoeba when you trap

me into proposing to you what a fool I

was

I thought I was alone Leigh I'll think

twice about it the next time the next

time no that's the dreadful part it's

always a measly little unhealthy runts

but live forever here put this in the

mailbox

only one M in cemetery

once more Mahatma don't wriggle around

it spoils your aim is out of practice

Alisha what kind of mission you don't

look very cheerful today mr. Cartwright

would you if your wife kept belittling

you and ridiculing you and practically

wished you were dead I can't stand much

more of it should we tell him I think we

ought to we have a little Society little

organization STP the Society for the

eradication of people when they were

alive when they were alive they were all

members especially the man-eating

varieties now Mahatma and major are our

only members you've heard of the law of

the jungle survival of the fittest

Norlin oh yes as a matter of fact in the

encyclopedia that I'm selling we don't

see why they shouldn't apply that law

outside the jungle so we act as their

agent we handle their bookings for them

it there's a small fee naturally but

you'll find it worth it no slip-ups

satisfaction guarantee oh I don't quite

follow

well busy eradicated the old

a dozen people before she passed away so

did Teddy the tarantula and now there's

my hat my special service day or night

mr. Cartwright think it over mr. Kotter

I am speaking to you what are you

sitting there for like a dummy

Stephanie dear I'm an organization smoke

after smoke your taste stays fresh

other names fine tobacco's always taste

better their pressure when you smoke

them never drying to your taste the

secret L&M tobacco's are moisturised a

special way called flavor seal to seal

in freshness and flavor

you find agender in the refrigerator

I want it bingo tonight it was getting

late I was thinking you were having

trouble with the car do you remember

what day this is yeah

do you happy anniversary

I'm glad you had sense enough to put

them in water you haven't finished all

the coffee I'm going to have some should

I bring you a cup daddy used to send me

long-stemmed roses you're not married to

Stanley now you're married to me and I

think these flowers I brought you are

very nice so there he managed to send me

long-stemmed roses there's your coffee

even during the war even in the midst of

all that destruction and carnage he

found time to send me flowers

what destruction what carnage the wall

our stupid world war chillers daddy was

stationed in Philadelphia for the

duration in the quartermaster Corps he

was a hero you couldn't even get into

the army I wish it was the other way

around first I was resigned to being a

widow I even look forward to it in a way

to that sense of Independence but no no

yours truly didn't know when she was

well off I missed having a man around so

so look what I got oh you walked with

him plenty when he was alive from what

I've heard I did where did you hear that

these things get around all I can say is

no matter where

is I had a thousand times rather be with

him than with you

you mean that certainly I mean that you

know that's interesting

Stephanie

that's really very interesting

well you've come back mister did you

people mean what you said last time I

was here about sending my hat without an

assignment yes

any special person you have in mind mr.

Cartwright my wife it's getting beyond

endurance she'll be better off in so

alive don't bother to explain we'll be

delighted to take care of it and my

heckler we'll get rid of her for you you

see with this population explosion going

on we feel every little bit in the

opposite direction helps well what's the

usual procedure but does it cost very

much well a viper job costs most but

it's worth it Mahatma is worth every

penny we charge he does did you see when

the personal concerned is in bed fast

asleep it's painless one will be older

than two minutes well I guess it's a

deal

good oh by the way there's a small down

payment well I have a credit card cash

please well $50 be enough oh yes that'll

be ample

I'm sorry we can't give you a free trial

offer but you understand it's not like

with your encyclopedias Oh naturally not

do you want that done tonight yes if

it's convenient perfectly we don't have

anything else scheduled hmm we usually

suggest about 3:00 a.m. unless mrs.

Cartwright son insomnia well no she

sleeps like a log she'll be dead to the

world by then we sleep in separate

bedrooms oh well that's fine makes it

easier for Mahatma I just set your alarm

about 3:15 and then by the time you go

to her it'll be all over

well maybe I better bring her a nice

warm glass of milk before she goes to

bed oh I think that would be very sweet

dear good well it's all settled then

you're practically a widower it looks

like it Dustin

goodbye Mahatma and Bon Apetit oh I

forgot if you list this as a

contribution to our society it's

tax-deductible

what is the matter with you you'll have

it soon yes Chris

oh nothing dear Stephanie would you like

a nice warm glass and note before you go

to bed what did you do to Stanley oh you

face you turn mine you take off my

glasses you're wearing my dress well

well what oh I thought you told me these

glasses with their strong for you hey hi

I'm going to bed

pleasant dreams Stephanie dear

Stephanie Stephanie Stephanie what are

you doing up at this all you'll be

surprised terribly you wouldn't believe

me if I told you I don't care what he's

paying you I'll pay you double business

is business dear yes I know dear but is

it ethical yeah

I only hope Mahatma does his good a job

on her he has Bessie did unsteadily

don't fret dear we've never had a victim

return

did you know that eye glasses were

originally invented by a man called

Cornelius Romberg as far back as 1424

and that the lenses in Romberg's glasses

were made out of the bottoms of wine

bottles when he looked through them

everything became tremendously blurred

and because of this he always made a

point of putting them on when this is

Romberg came into the room in the end of

course for Good Wife even things up by

pouring a little carbolic acid into mr.

Romberg eyedrops

the whole story is fraught with romance

good night and sleep well

make up created by Dick Smith hairstyles

by Ernest battler this is rod stroke

your guide for a unique odyssey in the

twilight zone

next on most of these stations

this program was pre-recorded Paul's

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no one knows what a child will do you'll

dart unexpectedly from between parked

cars he's not as aware of traffic laws

as the adult driver should be children

need extra protection and extra margin

of safety highway fatalities are the

most senseless in the world they are not

due to sickness or old age and no one is

immune to this form of death but the

toll can be reduced where traffic laws

are obeyed deaths go down so as you take

to the highways remember your

responsibility to yourself your

passengers and to other motorists help

save a life by obeying traffic laws