Original subtitles

[coughing]

[gasps]

[sighs]

[glass shattering]

[gulping]

thud

Looks good. The kid looks good.

Let's see him at the screen test tomorrow.

Stage five.

[theme music]

honk

[blows whistle]

screech

[siren wailing]

[blows whistle]

vroom

screech

[music continues]

screech

screech

crash

thud

slam

pop

[instrumental music]

Sorry I was late, Barney

but the boss gave me extra work to do.

That's alright, Fred.

- A job's a job. - Some job.

Anyone who works in a stone quarry

has got to have rocks in his head.

[honking]

Hey, what's the hurry?

I wanna get home to see

the big fight on television.

honk honk

It starts at seven.

honk honk

'Should be a real slam-bang-a-reeney!'

Easy, Fred, or we'll have

a slam-bang-a-reeney right here.

Huh, this sweater should keep Fred nice and warm.

[bleating] But what about me?

I'm gonna freeze to de-e-eath.

[car approaches]

That must be Fred now.

[knocking on door]

Aw, you wanna go meet him, don't you, Dino?

[barking]

(Wilma) 'Well, alright.'

[barking]

Paper says it's gonna be the fight of the century.

[Dino barking]

No, Dino! No, boy!

No! No! Back! Back! Back in the house, Dino!

No! No-o-o!

crash

[barking]

Uh-huh, D-Dino! Dino, stop it! Get-get..

Get off! L-l-let me up!

slurp slurp

Ha ha ha!

Now you cut that out, Dino!

Ha ha ha!

No-no more, you hear?

Ha ha ha!

A touching sight, Fred. A man and his Dino.

(Fred) 'Don't stand there! Get him off me.'

(Barney) 'Here, come, Dino boy.'

'Heel, heel, heel.'

Heel, Di..

Uh, it's no use, Fred.

I guess his heart's bigger than his heels.

'Well, I'm gonna miss the fight.'

Yeah, it's almost 7 o'clock.

(Fred) '7 o'clock?'

Yikes!

[hurried footsteps]

Hey, h-how do you do it, Fred?

I just said it was 7 o'clock and powie!

'We'll just catch the first round.'

(man on TV) 'Channel 7, Bedrock..'

click click click

(Fred) 'The fight's on channel 14, isn't it?'

(Barney) 'That's it.'

click click click

(man on TV) 'Stay tuned now for "The Adventures Of Sassie."'

Hey, I wanna see the fight!

grr

chomp

(Fred) What is this?

He sits there in front of the TV set

and tries to bite me.

Well, maybe he thinks you're a TV dinner.

Oh, Fred, he just wants to watch "Sassie."

It's his favorite program.

Oh, it's his favorite program, huh?

Well, it just so happens that this is my house

and that's my TV set!

(Barney) 'Yeah, but those are Dino's teeth.'

chomp

(Wilma) 'Let him watch, Fred.'

(woman on TV) 'Sassie! Oh, Sassie!'

(Wilma) 'You can go over to Barney's and watch the fight.'

Shh!

[barking]

[barking]

[panting]

slurp

[barking]

[barking]

(Fred) 'This has gone far enough.'

'I'm just going to..'

grrr

'...uh, ahem, go over to Barney's house'

'and watch his TV.'

(commentator on TV) 'And the champ leads with a left.'

'Kid Rocko comes back with a right.'

'The champ with a right. And the kid with a left.'

'And...the champ with a right.'

Some fight, huh, Barney?

Yeah. Go get him, champ!

Hello, boys. What are you watching?

The fight.

But why aren't you watching

the "Sassie" show?

We started to, but there was, uh, just too much violence.

But I'd like to see that program.

Maybe Wilma's got it on.

If she doesn't, she's got her hand chewed off.

thud thud thud

Wow! I think the champ is hurt.

[crying]

[crying continues]

(commentator on TV) 'Yes, he does seem to be hurt.'

'The kid caught him with a good blow to the nose.'

[blows nose]

[instrumental music]

Gee, mom, we're sure in another terrible fix

aren't we, huh?

We surely are, son.

Gee, if Sassie were only here..

[instrumental music]

[clopping]

Gee, mom, look.

It's Sassie!

You won't drop this message, will you, Sassie?

You will bring help, won't you, Sassie?

You are brave, aren't you?

And fearless?

And courageous?

Then go for help, Sassie.

(man on TV) Back to "Sassie" in just a minute.

But first, a word from our sponsor.

Would you like an autographed photo of Sassie?

[panting]

All you have to do is send in ten labels

from Dino Gro Pet Food.

Go down to your friendly corner grocer's now.

That's right! Go now!

(commentator on TV) 'The champ is down. No, he's up.'

'Kid Rocko swings a haymaker..'

'...and knocks the champ right out of the ring!'

What a punch!

It knocked Fred out of the house!

Whoa, Dino! Slow down, boy!

Whoa there!

'He-e-elp!'

Runaway dinosa-a-aur!

[crashing]

Hey! Hey, what is all this?

All this is exactly three and a half.

But I don't want any pet food.

Well, uh, then feed it to your pet.

(Fred) 'Alright. Alright.'

[chatters] Thank you.

And here are your, uh...trading stamps.

swish swish

(Fred) 'I'm just not gonna put up with it any longer, Wilma.'

'Dino has got to go.'

Taking over the TV set

squandering my hard-earned money

on Dino Gro Pet Food.

'You are a no-goodnik, Dino!'

'You get out of this house'

'and stay out!'

Go!

[sniffling]

- But, Fred.. - Go, Dino!

'Out! Out!'

But, Fred

Dino really is a sweet thing.

'And you know what they say'

'he's man's best friend.'

If Dino's my best friend

I could use some enemies.

I didn't pay for that pet food with chicken feed, you know?

'That stuff costs real dough.'

- Yes, but-- - 'Wait a minute!'

Listen to this.

"Dino Gro announces a search

"for a talented pet

"to appear on the Sassie TV series.

'"The pet must be young, simple'

'"and able to ham it up but good.'

"A top salary

will be paid."

Does that mean you, my pet?

It means Dino.

He knows that show cold.

'And those animal actors'

'get real dough-re-mi money.'

Oh, Fred, not Dino.

'Sure! Dino's a gold mine.'

I could quit my job.

No more long hours with that skinflint boss.

Just sit around and let Dino's dough roll in.

Dino!

Oh, Di-i-ino-o-o!

Hmm, that's funny.

He usually tears right in.

Di-i-ino-o-o!

'Oh, Di-i-ino-o-o!'

Well, hello, Dino, ol' best friend.

What are you doing out in the night air?

Aww.

You didn't take my kiddin' for real, did you, chum?

'Just joking, pal. Come on home.'

'I got some nice hot brontosaurus soup for you.'

Let me carry you, huh? You must be tired.

Old pal. Old chum. Old buddy.

Nothing's too good for good old Dino.

Now, Dino, buddy-buddy.

We're gonna teach you some tricks.

You like tricks, don't you?

First, I'll throw a stick

'and Barney's gonna show how to fetch it.'

Arf, Fred, arf.

Fetch, Barney.

arf arf

thud

chomp

[Dino clapping]

Hmm.

We'll try another. Okay, Barney, play dead.

thud

(Fred) 'What do you think, Dino?'

[slurping]

Hmm?

gulp gulp gulp

Alright, then. Barney, count to three.

I can't, Fred. I'm dead.

- 'Barney!' - Okay, okay.

(Barney) 'Arf, arf, arf.'

You dig, Dino?

[Dino snoring]

(Barney) Tough luck, Fred.

Looks like you're stuck with a no-talent pedigree.

Well, maybe it won't matter on TV.

Maybe they'll go for his personality.

Good morning, Screen Rocks Television Pictures.

'I am sorry. His line is busy.'

'One moment, please.'

Alrighty, people. Next, please.

Next, please.

I guess that's us.

Let's make it quick. What tricks does he do?

Well, um, actually--

Can he add a few numbers? Play dead?

Not exactly.

Too bad. He's the right type.

'We need a character like him'

'to do the heavy love scenes with Sassie.'

- To do the love scenes? - 'That's right.'

But he'd have to be able to perform.

Yeah, well, I guess we're out of luck

because, um..

[instrumental music]

Not bad! Not bad! Just one thing more.

How's his acting?

Huh? Acting? Uh, who?

Can he play dead?

Play dead? No, no, I'm afraid that he..

[Dino coughing]

[gasps]

[glass shattering]

[gulping]

thud

Looks good. The kid looks good.

Let's see him at the screen test tomorrow.

Stage five.

Your screen test is the biggest thing

that will ever happen to either of us, Dino.

So, don't get nervous and ruin everything.

You're not nervous, are you?

Good. Don't-don't get nervous.

But for Pete's sake, fix your hair.

'It's a mess.'

'You got to remember, Dino'

'one hair out of place'

'one little slip, one fluffed line'

'and blooey..'

'No "Sassie," no nothin'.'

'Understand?'

Now, let's see if you've

forgotten your part yet.

All you have to do is blow one line, you know

and powie, blam..

...we're washed up.

'Okay. Give me a bark.'

[barking]

'Oh, no, that's wrong. All wrong.'

You, you got to give it more ruff!

A-a-and fix that hair!

'We're-we're almost at the studio!'

[barks]

Dino, you know that's not the way the script reads.

Here. Do it the way you did it at home.

Epiy! Epiy!

'No, you're reading it backwards!'

- Yipe. - 'Yeah, that's better.'

Now, read it right. Uh, fix that hair.

And-and don't get nervous!

(Dino) 'Yeah.'

[Dino panting]

[Dino whimpering]

That's more like it.

All you have to keep on your mind, Dino

is that script

and-and you'll stay calm l-l-like me.

[barking]

[instrumental music]

Hold it! Hold it right there, buster.

That's quite alright, my good man.

- We have an appointment. - What's the name?

Uh, Fred Dino and Flinst..

Uh, Fred Flintstone and Dino.

Oh, yeah.

It's okay. Stage five.

We have to be careful around TV studios, buddy.

A lot of weird characters try to get in.

And things ain't gettin' any better.

Well, sir, Dino the great is here

so anytime you're ready, r-r-roll him.

Who? Oh, yes. The new one.

First, I'd like you to meet the members of our cast.

Ah, pleasure, pleasure.

First, our little boy actor.

He's the nice, warm, lovable kid.

Junior, meet Mr. Flintstone and his pet dino, Dino.

You must be kiddin'.

(male 1) 'Dino may get a part in our show.'

Big, big deal.

Lovable is just the word.

Uh, and warm.

Very warm.

And here's the actress who plays his mother.

The simple, unspoiled, homespun type.

Belle, Fred Flintstone and Dino.

Really?

(Fred) 'We're, uh, very pleased to meet you.'

Naturally.

And now, for our star.

I guess you'd like to meet Sassie.

Sassie!

'Oh, Sassie-e-e.'

[clopping]

Gee, Dino, it's Sassie.

screech

The paw. Kiss the paw.

muah muah muah

(Fred) 'Dino! Dino! D-down, boy! Down!'

'Heel! Heel!'

(male 1) 'Sassie honey, that's Dino'

'one of our new performers.'

Hmph!

Well, that's them.

That's how we're able to do a warm

wonderful, believable show every week.

Alright, people

'let's do that happy, happy-ending scene.'

'Lights...camera..'

'...action!'

And I love you, junior.

And I love Sassie.

And I love you, mommy.

And I love Sassie.

[tinkling]

And look, mommy.

[tinkling]

Sassie loves us too, huh?

(male 1) 'Cut!'

My happy-ending smiles are gonna get pretty sickly

buster, if I don't start getting more close-ups.

[clears throat]

- Yeah? - Yeah?

nyah

Ha ha ha. They're the greatest kidders.

Uh, uh, so is Dino.

Dino? Oh, oh, yes.

'You ready, Dino?'

'Think you can fit in?'

'Great. Let's make your screen test.'

Alrighty, people. We'll try it.

Junior, you and mommy

'have to get the mortgage loot to the bank on time.'

'Only, mom, one foot's caught in a bear trap'

'and, junior, both feet are caught in a bear trap'

'and, Sassie, you've got three broken legs.'

'But remember, folks, you are all happy.'

'That's right.'

'Happy because you are together!'

How about it?

Camera crew, ready?

[squawks] Anytime you are, chief.

(male 1) 'Then roll 'em.'

[squawks] One good thing about TV

it employs artists.

Whoops! Goofed again.

Well, ha ha ha, that's showbiz.

[squawks]

Now, you're all ready

to conk out from exhaustion

'so, junior, you give the mortgage money bag to Sassie.'

'And, Sassie, you take off.'

'That's right, limping and faltering along'

dragging your three broken legs.

And then, out of nowhere comes, uh, comes, uh..

What's his name?

Dino. Dino Flintstone.

(male 1) '...Dino to the rescue.'

screech

'Sassie is burdened, Dino helps.'

She needs shelter from the cold.

'Dino provides an instant igloo.'

'Her good leg bothers her, Dino comforts.'

But most of all, mind you, Dino delivers.

'Dino will take the money to the bank.'

crash

'Then the villain appears.'

[laughing]

(male 1) 'He grabs the money'

'but Dino fights for right.'

crash

[laughing]

(male 1) 'And Dino fights for Sassie.'

Yikes!

[barking]

And Dino fights for dough-re-mi money.

splat

Dino has saved the day!

'And so, to the bank.'

Cut! He's brilliant!

Dino is brilliant!

But of course.

[chuckles] My, ahem, hours

of coaching him seem to have paid off.

(male 1) 'Uh, come on into my office. We'll talk business.'

Now that's more like it, isn't it, Dino, old chum?

'Yes. That's more like it.'

Hmm..

Uh, just a minute, friend.

Huh?

Your boy got hisself an agent, huh?

No, he doesn't have any agent, uh, ahem, except me.

He does now. I'll handle him.

But I thought I do.

No good, buddy, you'd bollix it up.

He needs a professional manager, me.

- But, uh-- - Don't worry.

You'll get 30 bucks a week. Sign here.

Thirty a week, eh? That's not so much.

(male 2) 'Better than a kick in the head. Sign.'

(Fred) 'That's the way it's done, huh?'

(male 2) 'The selfsame way.'

Well, I'll have a word with Dino and tell him you're, uh--

I'll handle that. You just get lost, Jackson.

But, uh..

You want Dino to be a star, don't you?

'The kind that twinkles on TV, eh?'

Well, sure, but--

'Well, here's your 30 skins, friend.'

'We don't no longer need you. Run along.'

You thinking what I'm thinking, Sam?

Yeah.

You'll have to make a few changes, right?

Yeah. For instance, his eyes.

'All wrong. Have to change them.'

- 'You mean, just the color?' - 'Yeah. With contact lenses.'

(Sam) 'Uh, maybe a nice true blue.'

- 'Mm-hmm. How about his teeth?' - 'Hmm. I don't know.'

(Sam) 'Nobody smiles much in your shows, do they?'

(male 1) 'Not until the last scene, Sam'

'then everybody smiles, even the bad guys.'

(Sam) 'Yeah. So we'll need his teeth capped.'

Check. Otherwise, he's in fair shape.

- Except for one thing. - Those big freckles?

Nah, his tail.

'So big, it'll fight his face for attention.'

(male 1) 'We'll have to chop some off. Anything else?'

(Sam) 'How's about publicity?'

(male 1) 'We'll plant stories in the papers'

'that Dino is really in love with Sassie.'

(Sam) 'Great idea!'

(male 1) 'We'll have Dino'

'take her everywhere.'

(Sam) 'Like big premieres!'

(male 1) 'Yes, and supermarket openings.'

(Sam) 'Ah, the togetherness bit, eh?'

(male 1) 'Right, in fact, Dino and Sassie'

'will be together day and night.'

Yikes!

(male 1) 'Tonight, he'll take her dancing'

'at the Cocorock Grove.'

'We could keep this going for years.'

Yeah! Maybe even longer.

[laughing]

(Betty) 'How'd it go, Fred?'

Oh, just great.

Got a contract and everything.

A contract?

'Yeah, yeah, they wanted to give me peanuts'

but I negotiated

and they had to do business with me.

Oh, well, then I guess Dino won't be running out anymore

and jumping all over you.

Yeah, that's right.

Dino's gone off with the show.

No more...knockdowns.

Fred, won't it seem strange without him?

Best thing that ever happened.

No more bones around to trip over.

I'll go tell Barney the news.

I'm glad everything worked out

just the way you wanted it.

Yeah, heh, yeah, everything worked out

j-just the way I wanted it.

[instrumental music]

Fred, what's wrong?

You've been moping around all evening.

(Fred) 'Oh, nothing.'

It's, uh, nothing to do with Dino, is it?

That...pest? Of course not.

Good-good-good riddance.

I kind of miss him.

Not me.

Especially when I picked up

thirty bucks in the deal.

I couldn't be happier.

I'm glad you're so happy, Fred

but do try to keep down all the loud laughing.

[sniffles]

[sniffles]

[crackling]

[music continues]

Gee, Dino, if pictures could talk

I know what you'd say to me.

[Dino barks]

That's right.

You'd say, "So long, Fred

you money-grubbing cheapskate."

[Dino barks]

You'd say, "I'll call you from Hollyrock, Fred

"but don't you..

[sniffles] ...call me."

[Dino barks]

Hey! Pictures can't bark!

The only one who can bark like that is..

'...Dino!'

Is it really you?

slurp slurp

[laughing] Sure it is!

Come on in, pal.

Wilma, Dino's back!

Barney, Dino's back!

You-you can sit on the couch

and put your feet up, Dino, old friend

and I'll bring you a pipe and your slippers.

'And your favorite show's on tonight.'

'You can sit back and watch it.'

(man on TV) 'And now stay tuned for "The Adventures Of Sassie."'

click

No more, Dino?

No more TV stars and bright lights?

Hey, what was that you were yelling, Fred?

I didn't catch it.

You'd never guess, Barney, but Dino's back!

- Oh, you're kidding. - Yeah? Well, watch this.

[whistles] Here, boy!

[Dino barking]

thud thud

[Fred laughing]

[Fred laughing] 'Oh, Dino's back.'

He's back! Ha ha ha!

Ooh! Ooh! Ha ha ha!

Ain't it wonderful? Ha ha ha!

[both laughing]

[theme music]

[yawns]

[music continues]

thud

slam

[rattling]

Wilma!

[banging on door]

'Wilma!'

'Come on, Wilma!'

'Open the door!'

'Wi-i-ilma-a-a!'