All language subtitles for The.Flintstones.S02E30.WEBRip.x264-ION10

[theme music]

[whistling]

screech

[siren wailing]

[whistling]

screech

[music continues]

screech

vroom

bam

thud

thud

[music continues]

Betty, are you up yet?

(Betty) 'Over here, Wilma.'

My, you're up early this morning.

I-is that your stuff for the rummage sale?

Uh-huh.

Phew, that's heavy.

How are you doing?

Umm, I don't know where to start.

Barney saved everything from his first teething ring.

Look here.

(Wilma) '"Pledge Rubble.'

'Beta Slata Gamma Class of 1,000,020"'

- 'What's it for?' - Whacko.

A souvenir from Barney's high school fraternity.

Our closet's so crowded with stuff like this

a flea couldn't get in if he made reservations.

I know what you mean. Look.

Wilma, that's Fred's old football uniform.

How'd you ever get him to part with it?

Simple, I merely use feminine strategy.

What do you mean?

- I didn't tell him. - Oh, Wilma.

What he doesn't know won't make him mad.

Oh, but, Wilma, that's sneaky.

That's dishonest.

That's brilliant.

[chuckling]

Ah, how are you gonna get away with it?

'Easy.'

Show me a closet filled with souvenirs

and I'll show you a man who's forgotten he ever had 'em.

- You really think so? - I know so.

For weeks, I've been taking things from our closet

and bringing them down to the ladies

auxiliary rummage sale.

Fred never missed one thing.

Well, alright.

Here goes nothing.

Say, this will be fun.

Good, girl.

From now on it'll be easy.

Okay, Wilma, coast is clear.

Where's Barney?

In back of the house doing some gardening.

Put the boxes on the floor in the back seat.

Say, before we take this stuff downtown

let's have some breakfast.

Okay, that's uh, um..

Why are we whispering?

I don't know.

[chuckling]

[yawning]

Wilma...where, where's my breakfast?

What's this?

"Dear Fred, gone to Betty's.

Your breakfast is on the table. Back soon."

Hey! This is Saturday.

I can watch the big football game while I eat.

(male announcer on TV) 'And now, a word from our sponsor.'

Aah, well, I get this real heavy beard, see?

And it used to be kind of a drag like.

Until I discovered Flint Ridge Razors.

Now I'm not only a star athlete

I got this here cave-man appeal.

(male announcer on TV) 'Alright, ladies and gentlemen.'

'Back to your football game of the week.'

'They're out of the huddle into a split tee.'

'Rockhouse Keys fading back, back.'

'Looks like he's gonna pass.'

'Yes, looks like it'll be a long one.'

'And there it goes, way downfield and..'

crash

Receive by Brunately.

A beautiful pass.

[laughing]

Naturally. I threw it.

What a game, ladies and gentlemen.

What excitement.

Alright. Out of the huddle, single wing formation.

'It's Brunately to Rockowski.'

'Rockowski has the ball.'

'Look at him go.'

He's over the end-zone for a touchdown.

crash

'Gee, Rockowski has done it again.'

That magic number 22 has won 87 yards for a touchdown.

And now for the halftime activities.

How do you like that?

Twenty-two. My old number.

What a game.

Hey, I think I'll put on my jersey for the second half.

'It's right here in the closet.'

Wait a minute, where is it? Where'd it go?

My football uniform's gone.

My helmet, my hockey stick.

Even my junior frog band's swim fins.

That does it.

Somethin' fishy is goin' on here.

Now think, Flintstone. Think.

Nothing's in the under closet except Wilma's junk.

Nothing in the garage because Wilma

made me clean out that junk last week.

All the important junk was in this closet.

Wilma!

Do I know where your football uniform is?

Goodness, Fred, d-don't you?

Sneaky.

I can't imagine what you could've done with it?

Very sneaky.

Didn't you throw it away years ago?

[Fred yelling on the phone]

About your feminine strategy.

Don't look now, but I think it backfired.

Yes, Fred. Bye.

(Betty) 'Well, you gonna take the stuff back?'

I can't now.

Fred would never speak to me again.

We gotta get everything down to the rummage sale

before we get caught with the goods.

But the car isn't here. Barney took it to run an errand.

Oh, no. All that stuff's in it. Suppose he sees it?

Calm down, Wilma. It's on the floor in the back.

He won't notice.

Gee, Betty. I've never deceived Fred before.

I feel just terrible.

Well, we can't do anything about it now. So relax.

Fred will probably forget all about it.

Well, it took you long enough to get here.

I called over half an hour ago.

The closet's over there.

I'm a tax payer, I've been robbed, I want action.

Uh-huh, yeah.

Uh-huh, just as I thought.

- What, what? - Inside job.

Funny though.

Funny? Heh! I'm hysterical.

Now who took my stuff?

It's not the work of a professional.

A pro wouldn't take the junk you described.

- Now wait a min-- - I got it.

It's the work of a kleptomaniac.

- Typical case. - A klepto, who?

Kleptomaniac. Someone with a compulsion to steal.

One of your friends is sick, Mr. Flintstone.

- Real sick. - Hold it.

Are you tryin' to say someone I know is a thief?

The criminal had free access to this house

and he took stuff no one would want in his right mind.

Yeah, you got a point there.

Hey, wait a minute.

No question about it. Typical case.

Now you must be kiddin'. I don't know anyone like that.

You'll never know until they strike.

These guys go along perfectly normal for years

and then one day, whamo!

Start to steal, can't control themselves.

We see a lot of it.

screech

Hiya, Fred. Can I borrow your hedge trimmer?

Why, sure, Barney boy.

Help yourself. It's in the garage.

(Barney) 'Oh, thank you.'

[whistling]

It won't take us long to crack this case, Mr. Flintstone.

Kleptomaniac's aren't your typical thieves.

- They always get caught. - How come?

It's part of the sickness.

They wanna get caught and go to prison.

Why, I seen 'em steal stuff from a guy

and drive right by his house with the goods in his car.

- No kiddin'. - Sure. Give you an example.

Now, let's say, this was yours.

A kleptomaniac wouldn't think twice

about drivin' right by your house and..

Hey, wait a minute.

Orange jersey.

White dots, number 22.

This is yours.

In Barney's car? It can't be.

Flintstone, I think we've caught our thief.

Uh, ho-ho-hold it.

There, there, there, there, there's a mistake.

I didn't say or-orange with white dots.

I-I said...w-white w-w-with orange dots.

I..

Well, then, how about this?

Look familiar?

I-I-I n-n-never seen it before. Wh-what is it?

It's a hockey stick in, and it answers your description.

Look, Mr. Flintstone. You filed a complaint.

Now if this is your stuff, I gotta take the guy in.

[stammering]

Th-th-that's not my, my hockey stick.

You-you know how, how hockey sticks are. Ha-ha.

You've seen one of 'em, you-you've seen 'em all.

[laughing]

Are you sure?

Sure, I'm sure.

(man on radio) 'Car 34, where are you?'

That's my call.

'Come in, car 34.'

Ol' Rockery here.

'Proceed to Stoneyway in Wine.'

'Code three.'

I gotta go now, Flintstone.

But keep an eye on that guy.

He looks suspicious to me.

Ah, yeah-yeah, I'll-I'll do that, um..

Thanks a lot, officer.

[engine revving]

Say, uh, Fred, what's with the police?

Oh, no, nothin', Barney.

He was, uh, just askin' directions.

- How do you feel? - O-oh, Fine.

And say, Fred, thanks for the hedge clippers.

I've been wantin' to take 'em, but I kept on forgettin'.

Barney, old pal, why didn't you tell me you had trouble?

Oh, gee, I don't know, Fred.

I didn't think the hedge looked that bad.

Does Betty know?

No, I don't think so.

Well, it's just as well.

Listen, pal. I-I just want you to know

that anything I have, you can have.

'It's alright with me.'

Oh, you're a real sport, Fred.

It's a pleasure to do business with you.

Yeah, sir, everything's gonna be alright.

This afternoon, we're goin' to a good doctor.

We are? How come?

Don't you know?

Well, gee, Fred, you've been sick?

Oh, Barney.

I should've known somethin' was wrong

the way you've been acting.

Uh, what's the matter, Fred? Headaches?

Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it.

Oh, you poor little meathead.

Yeah, I-I-I got a terrible headache.

C-c-come on, come on

let's-let's go see the doctor now.

Well, sure, Fred. Anything for a pal.

screech

"Dr. Stonewall. The psychia.. The psychiaci.."

Hey, hey, Fred. What's a pasychiachiatrist?

That's psychiatrist, Barney.

He treats sick heads.

Oh, gee, I hope he can help.

Me, too, Barney.

Uh, you wait here while I see if he's in.

Yes. Well now, Mr. Stoneflint

uh, uh, Flintstone.

Uh, you did the right thing. Yes, you did, yes.

It sounds as if your friend needs help. Help, help.

Now, now, you're sure you got it straight, doc?

Barney thinks we're here because of my headache.

Headaches, oh, yes, yes.

Oh, that was the right thing to do.

In early stages of illness, the patient

doesn't recognize his sickness.

Oh, say, speaking of sickness

did I tell you about my latest operation?

Yeah, ten minutes ago.

Now, what about my friend, Mr. Rubble?

- He's-- - 'Pardon me.'

Time for my pill.

As I was saying, if he knew of his illness, the patient..

...would only deny treatment.

Uh, treatment. Oh, my! Oh-oh..

I think I'm comin' down with something. Do I look flushed?

Uh, listen, m-may be we should come back another day.

No, no, no. No, no, no, no.

Your friend is sick, sick, sick.

And when you're sick, you need help.

'I oughta know.'

- Oh, come in, Mr. Hubble. - Uh, it's Rubble.

Uh, so tell me, doc, what's with the headaches?

Umm, oh, yes, yes, oh, I wish you hadn't asked that.

Oh, ew..

Yesterday, I really had a doozy, one of the worst I've ever had.

No, no, no. I meant him, Fred.

Hmm? Oh, oh, well, if you want to compare..

What I wanted to talk to you about, doc, is-is Fred here.

I've been worried about him, you know.

He's been acting kinda funny lately

and, well, uh..

...that's what friends are for.

Say, that's a good looking lighter, uh..

I've never seen one like it.

I'll have to pick one up someday.

Anyway, I-I hope you can help, doc.

Well, well, don't worry about a thing.

We'll do all we can, Mr. Trouble.

Uh, the name's Hubble, uh, Rubble.

'I-I'll wait for you outside, Fred.'

Oh, Mr. Rubble.

Uh, may I have my lighter please?

Huh, oh, oh, oh, sure thing. I almost forgot, eh.

It sure is pretty.

A-and speaking of pretty things, that big leopard skin lamp

in your reception room is a beaut.

Uh, I'd sure like to have that.

Oh, I gotta stop him before he steals your lamp.

Oh, now, now, now, don't worry. It's nailed down.

I've had his type before. No doubt about it.

No doubt about it. He's a kleptomaniac.

We'll start regular appointments next week.

In the meantime

'don't let him out of your sight.'

But can you cure it?

'Can I cure..'

I can assure you, sir, that any man who walks into this office

walks out a different man

or my name isn't Dr. uh, uh, Dr.--

Stonewall!

Oh, how do you do, sir?

I've heard some nice things about your work.

No, no, no. You're the doctor.

Say, that's right!

Which reminds me, I'm late

for my doctor's appointment, see you next week.

Remember, don't let your friend alone for a minute.

He's sicker than I am.

I'll have you home in a minute, Fred.

Well, I could've driven, Barney.

But I want you to just relax.

Here we are.

Now go in, sit down and close your eyes

and your headache will go away.

Uh, sure, sure, Barney.

Uh, where are you going?

- Home. - Straight home?

Well, sure, Fred. Now get some rest.

Poor old Fred.

Poor old Barney.

He doesn't know how sick he really is.

Gee, Betty, I'm bushed.

Fighting a bunch of bargain hungry women

all day is hard work.

I'll say, the fellas don't know

what we go through to save their money.

What I need is a nice warm bath.

[sighing]

He-he, what you need even more

is a nice, cool husband.

Do you think the old hothead simmered down yet?

Fred? I hope so.

Anyway, his temper should improve when he opens

the birthday present I bought for him.

And, by the way, I'm sorry I filled up

the car with my stuff.

Are you having yours delivered?

Unh-unh. I left it at the Will Call desk.

Barney will get it for me later.

[instrumental music]

Yoo-hoo!

Fred, I'm home!

Fred, what are you looking at?

- Barney. - 'Why?'

'Cause I can't let him out of my sight, that's why.

Oh, my gosh. He's walking out to the car.

Excuse me, sweetheart.

You come back here, Fred.

thud

Well, honestly. Men!

- Hiya, Barney. - Hiya, Fred.

How's the headache?

Oh, uh, better, uh, uh, m-much better.

Uh, where you going?

Uh, down to the Bedrock Department Store.

I'm gonna pick up a few things.

Oh, look, Barney, you don't really wanna go down

to that crowded department store, do you?

No, I don't want to. I have to.

- You know how it is. - Yeah, buddy.

I know how it is.

Now you just take it easy.

I understand, and I'm going with you.

Oh, how come, Fred? You hate shopping.

Barney, there's times when pals have to stick together.

Even if it means goin' shoppin'.

Are you sure you have to do this?

(Barney) 'Yeah, Fred, I'm sure.'

Oh, boy. This is worse than I thought.

It won't take me too long.

Oh, wait, Barney, wait. There's too many people.

We'll come back when it's safer.

Hey-hey, Fred! Where you goin'?

We're goin' home.

Boy, that Fred is a fast worker.

Wonder what Wilma will say when he gets home.

Uh, my wife asked me to pick up some things.

Don't fight it, I know what's best for you.

bam bam bam

You fresh thing.

Mother told me about men like you.

I'm-I'm sorry, lady. B-b-but you see, I..

I thought you were my friend Barney and, and..

Oh, my gosh, Barney. He's still in the store.

I'm sorry, we haven't had time to wrap these yet.

- But if you'll wait-- - Oh, no, that's okay.

I'll take 'em like this.

I wonder what this stuff is.

"Madam Ruben Stone's Cold Cream."

Hmm, doesn't feel cold to me.

Don't hold that up like that.

Someone might see it.

All this so fast. Where did you get so much?

Oh, I just picked it up back there at the--

Never mind, never mind. We gotta get outta here.

Now, start walkin' and I'll hide you.

Nobody's suspicious yet.

Oh-oh, I think the store detective spotted us.

'He's comin' this way.'

I think we lost him.

What's up, Fred? Why are we hiding?

Because you go to prison for stealing things

in a department store, you dumb dodo.

Fred, did you steal something?

Oh, boy.

Look, Barney, the detective spotted us.

But if we put everything back, he can't prove a thing.

I'll hold this stuff and you be on the lookout for--

Uh, Fred, the store detective is coming this way again.

Oh, no. Come on!

We can't get caught with the goods.

Hey, you two! Wait a minute!

(Fred) Maybe-maybe we can lose him in the sporting goods department.

screech

Hey, Fred, look. I always wanted one of these.

The latest model too.

Pow! Pow-pow! Pow! Pow-pow-pow!

Oh, quiet, quiet, Barney, what are you tryin' to do?

Get the whole world in here? We gotta find a place to hide.

Oh, there sure isn't any place in here.

Hey, why don't you give yourself up?

Ah-ha! Here, here, Barney. Slip this on.

Gee, I always wanted a head like this.

- Hey, how do I look? - 'It's an improvement.'

Oh, you look pretty good yourself.

[laughing]

Alright, alright. At least no one will recognize us.

[footsteps]

Here comes the detective. We're trapped.

Not yet. Just act natural.

Say, did either of you see

a couple of kookie looking guys come in here?

Ah, yeah. They, uh, went that way.

Thanks. Ain't nobody is gonna give me the slip.

We'll hole up in this toy department

till things quiet down.

(Barney) 'Hey, Fred. Look.'

Come down from there, Barney. This is no time for games.

Oh-oh, here comes the detective again.

Oh, my gosh.

'Come on, Barney, we gotta get outta here.'

Be right down, Fred.

swoosh

Oh, no. Hold it.

bam

Hey, that was fun, Fred. Can we do it again?

What's the matter with you? Let's get outta here.

whoosh

tap tap tap

I think we shook him up.

But you keep watch while I return this stuff.

- Oh, Fred. - Quiet, Barney.

- 'But, but, Fred--' - Shh. I'm busy.

- 'Fred, look.' - Now, you look.

I, I, I, ah..

Okay, light fingers. Let's go.

I told you, just be quiet

I would handle everything, didn't I?

Well, sure, Fred. But I wanna ask you a question.

'Yeah?'

How come you had to come downtown with me today?

Simple, I came along to keep you out of trouble.

Oh, thanks a lot, Fred.

Them boys have been awfully quiet since we bailed them out.

[chuckling] It's something they won't forget for a while.

[chuckling] And we won't let 'em forget.

After you, jailbirds.

[chuckling]

Very funny. Very funny.

'Haar haar haar!'

Hey, girls, how about somethin' to eat?

Bein' a criminal sure gives a guy an appetite.

Oh, what do you think, Wilma?

Do the jailbirds deserve food?

Oh, but of course.

Let's bake them a cake with a file in it.

To make them feel right at home.

[chuckling]

Say, you're a comedian, Wilma.

You're a riot!

Now, get out in that kitchen.

Watch your tone, sir.

You're speaking to the girl that sprung you.

[laughing]

It's lucky for you that I had a receipt for those things.

Honestly, Fred.

Imagining Barney was a kleptomaniac.

Yeah. Now I got a record.

I'll have to resign my membership

at the Captain Dangers Boys Club.

Oh, it's just awful.

What I wanna know is who started all of this?

That's what I wanna know. Who?

(Wilma) 'Uh, sandwiches are ready.'

Just tell me who. That's all.

Who took what from behind who's back without telling whom?

Huh? Who, huh? Who?

You're right, Fred.

This whole thing is my fault.

And I'm just as sorry as I can be.

Will you ever forgive me?

I don't know.

I promise I'll never take anything of yours

without telling you again, okay?

That still doesn't get my stuff back.

(Betty) 'Oh, yes, it does.'

We never got to the rummage sale. Tell him, Wilma.

On our way, we stopped at Mrs. Rockheads for tea.

And she was packing up old stuff of Joe's.

(Wilma) 'To give away without telling him.'

(Betty) 'And we both got this awful attack of conscience.'

(Wilma) 'We couldn't go through with--'

Hold it, hold it! I'm gettin' sea sick.

Get to the point.

I took your things back with me, Fred.

They're out in the car. Now, will you forgive me?

Well...alright.

[knocking on door]

I'll get it.

You fellows, start on the sandwiches.

You Mrs. Flintstone?

- Yes. - I'm Officer O' Rockery.

There's somethin' funny goin' on here.

I don't like funny stuff on my beat.

What's wrong, officer?

This is my husband.

Yeah, we met.

Had a report of stolen goods

from a Mr. Joe Rockhead down the street.

Found the goods in the car parked in front of your house.

Second time it's happened. Looks suspicious.

Oh, you've made a mistake.

I can explain. Ah, come on. I'll show you.

You see, these things belong to my husband.

Brace yourself, Wilma.

You took the wrong box.

Oh, no!

Well, let's hear the explanation.

Gee, I don't know where to start.

- I'll give it to you. - But you'll never believe it.

You see, officer, the ladies auxiliary

was having this rummage sale.

Sounds pretty fishy to me.

And her husband had all this junk he wouldn't throw away.

And so, I took it without telling him.

I wouldn't believe that story if I saw it on television.

(Betty) 'But for some reason, Fred thought Barney--'

(Wilma) 'Was a kleptomaniac. And he was--'

Hold it, hold it. One at a time.

I'm getting dizzy.

And he was tryin' to get Barney to return everything.

Honestly, officer, she's tellin' the truth.

[laughing]

[theme music]

boing

[yawning]

[music continues]

clink

thud

thud

thud

rattle rattle

Wilma!

[pounding on door]

Wilma!

Come on, Wilma. Open this door!

Wilma!