Original subtitles

I see it, but I don't believe it.

It's true. We hit another houseboat.

[engine revving]

[tires screeching]

(male 1) 'Okay, what happened?'

That landlubber tired to make a starboard turn

without sticking his hand out.

Don't call me a landlubber, you landlubber.

I've been a sailor for over three weeks!

[theme music]

[whistling]

[screeching]

[siren blaring]

[whistling]

[screeching]

[screeching]

vroom

[screeching]

[thuds]

slam

[door slams]

Mwah!

[music continues]

[whistling]

Mail man.

Oh, Mr. Emery, you're early this morning.

Yup. Just a light mail today.

Uh, let's see now.

Here's a circular for you, Mrs. Flintstone.

Oh, those old things.

And a postcard from your aunt in Glitter Rock.

Her arthritis has been buggin' her.

She's got aphids in her pansies.

And she sent you a recipe for rutabaga pie that sounds good.

- Oh, thank you. - Don't mention it.

After you copy it, maybe you'll let me borrow it for the missus.

I'm getting sick and tried of her marble cake.

Why, most husbands like marble cake.

With real marbles?

Eh, here's somethin' for Mr. Flintstone.

Oh? It's a ticket of some kind.

"Admit one to broadcast The Prize Is Priced."

Yup, that's that TV show you win all the prizes

if you guess their price.

I know, I never miss it.

Wonder why they sent it to Fred.

[instrumental music]

But Fred doesn't know anything about the prices of anything.

- Does he, Wilma? - Of course not.

That's why I'm gonna go in his place.

Women are much better at guessing prices.

Especially the kind of prizes they have on that program.

Ha. Furs, jewelry and household appliances.

Oh, gee, I wish Barney could get a ticket.

Speaking of appliances

I can use a new washing machine.

Look at this one. It's on its last legs.

Close the lid.

That air is cold

after you've been in the water.

Last week on "The Prize Is Priced" program

they had an all-automatic combination drink mixer

food chopper, garbage disposal and dishwasher.

[chuckles] I've already got a combination drink mixer

food chopper, garbage disposal and dishwasher.

His name is Fred.

[chuckles]

Oh, Wilma, it would be nice

if you could get on the program.

Uh, what do you think Fred will say

when you tell him you're gonna use his ticket?

He'll say, um, "Are you out of your mind?"

Are you out of your mind?

But, Fred, you said yourself

you didn't know anything about the cost of things.

Don't you remember last time you went to the supermarket--

I said, I didn't know where they got their prices.

I know a lot about the cost of things.

Besides, it wouldn't be honest

you going to "The Prize Is Priced" on my ticket.

It says right on it, "Fred Flintstone."

All we'd have to do is carve a little "Mrs." in front of it

and then I could get on and win a lot of the things we need.

(Fred) 'No! N-O. Negative.'

Absolutely

positively N-O-T.

What are you trying to say, Fred?

I'm saying you can't do it.

If anybody's gonna go on the program

and win a lot of prizes, it's me.

[upbeat music]

That's tellin' her, Freddy-boy.

You'll show how smart us men are.

And, uh, what do you care if 30 million people

are watching you tonight

and, uh, you make a big fool of yourself?

[laughing]

Eh, 30 million people watchin' me?

Yup. "The Prize Is Priced" is one of the top-ten TV shows.

Hey, I'll bet your boss is lookin' in tonight.

- Mr. Slate? - Sure.

You have to give his company a plug

so, uh, if you win, it'll make him proud of you.

Of course, if you turn out stupid

it'll give the firm a black eye.

But, uh, I wouldn't worry.

You only got about one chance in a thousand of being picked.

Yeah, but, b-b-but suppose they do pick me as a contestant

and I don't guess any of the prices?

So? You can always get another job.

It'll be much easier than getting another wife.

Eh, uh, Wilma's gonna be pretty sore

if you don't bring something home.

Gosh, 30 million people

watching, oh, me!

Oh, that's the TV audience.

There's only about 2500 screaming people

in the studio audience.

You mean, I'll be up there lookin' foolish

in front of all those strangers?

Don't worry about strangers, all you gotta think about

is not losing the friends watchin'.

I mean, uh, who likes to be associated with a dope, right?

Almost time for the program.

Oh, do you suppose Fred got on the panel?

He better have.

(man on TV) 'And now'

'Gypsum And Caveman present'

"The Prize Is Priced!"'

[audience cheering]

'And here is your genial master of ceremonies'

'Smiling Will Carson!'

[audience cheering on TV]

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

I called you ladies and gentlemen.

I've forgotten some of your names.

[all laughing]

And welcome to another session of "The Prize Is Priced."

And now let's meet our contestants.

First, the big winner from last week

the little old retired school teacher

who has won a total of $14,000!

Ms. Agatha Agate.

[audience applauding]

Well, Agatha, how do you feel tonight?

I feel like winning some more loot, Will.

I see. And, uh..

What are you going to do with the little red sports car

you won last week?

Are you kidding?

I'm racing with it.

Won three drags already.

They're calling me Lead-foot Aggie.

[mimics car engine revving]

Queen of the hot rods.

[mimics car engine revving]

Eh, fine.

Uh, now let's meet the two new challengers

chosen from our studio audience tonight.

Oh, I hope it's Fred.

(Will on TV) 'First, an unemployed plumber'

'from Pebble Beach, Mr. John Sludge.'

Darn! I bet Fred didn't make it.

Uh, shh.

And how do you feel tonight, Mr. Sludge?

Well, Will, I'm unemployed, you know

and I've a tough time takin' care

of the 11 little helpless children

and one sweet little missus at home.

So I'm sure hopin' I can win somethin' useful.

Uh, like a set of golf clubs or a trip around the world.

A good time to go, Will. I'm not workin', you know?

Yeah, fine. And now--

Of course, I'll take cash, Will

if it won't put me in a higher income bracket.

Uh, fine. And now let's--

They always give me cash on that other program.

- Uh, "Beat The Sun Dial." - Thank you, Mr. Sludge.

And now let's meet our third contestant

the geological engineer

Mr. Fred Flintstone.

Oh, Wilma, Fred made it.

Betty, that isn't Fred.

And how do you feel tonight, Mr. Flintstone?

To tell the truth, Will, I don't feel like, uh, myself.

[laughing]

Uh, why don't you feel like

yourself tonight, Mr. Flintstone?

Because, I'm Barney Rubble

a friend of poor Mr. Flintstone.

I don't understand. "Poor Mr. Flintstone?"

Yup. He's allergic to crowds, Will.

And at the very last minute he got sick.

Chickened out, I think they call it.

But like a good friend, I, Barney Rubble

am prepared to win a lot of loot in Fred's place, Will.

Well, how do you like that?

After Fred wouldn't let me go on his ticket?

Oh, Wilma, this'll be a disaster.

The only figures Barney can keep in his head

are the contestants in the Miss Neanderthal contest.

Big, brave Fred having stage fright.

Can you imagine? O-o-o-h!

And here comes our first prize now!

'This luxurious, genuine, wild, extinct schmikasaurus stole'

'styled by IJ Wolf'

famous furrier who's been in the skin game for quite some time.

[laughing] Beautiful, isn't it?

'How would you like to take that home, Barney?'

Love to. But I'm a married man. Yuck-yuck-yuck.

"Yuck-yuck-yuck."

I'll skin him if he muffs it.

(Will) 'What do you think, Agatha?'

Ball of fire, Will.

I sure need a fur!

Gets cold ridin' in my sports car.

I bid 2000!

(Will) 'Fine. Mr. Sludge, what's your bid?'

I'd just love to take that coat home to my pitiful little wife.

I bid, uh, 2500.

(Will) 'Alrighty. Now your bid, Barney.'

(audience) 'Higher, higher!'

I'll say, uh, higher, higher.

You'll have to be more specific.

And if you go over the retail price, you can't win.

Oh, oh, well, in that case I'll say, um

thirty-two-hundred, seventy-eight dollars

and sixty-nine cents.

Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful if I won?

Uh, I don't wanna say anything, Betty.

But what do you mean, you?

I mean, after all, it was Fred's ticket.

Well, yes, but i-it's our guesses

that are winning the schmikasaurus fur.

Well, we'll see. Maybe we can work out something.

The prices are all in

and I wonder who's gonna steal the stole.

[laughing]

And here is the retail price

'thirty-two-hundred, seventy-eight dollars'

'and sixty-eight cents.'

(audience) 'Aww.'

I'm sorry, Mr. Rubble, but you went over the prize price.

The schmikasaurus stole goes to John Sludge.

You mean that, I..

Oh, Will, that's wonderful!

[laughing] I-I'm so excited. Yippee!

Please, please, control yourself.

I won, I won!

[laughing]

I'm so, so happy. I won! I won!

(Will) 'Please, that's enough!'

thud

I'm sorry, Will. I just got carried away.

It's just that, gosh, this is only the 24th thing

I ever won on these panel shows.

Uh, wait a minute. Uh, where are my tradin' stamps?

Well, there goes both of our stoles, Wilma.

I'm sorry. I must have sounded awful.

It was silly to be so selfish.

It's okay, Betty. Me, too.

It shows you how even good friends can be split by greed.

Right, whatever Barney wins from now on

is both of ours, okay?

You know, we could learn from the boys, too.

They're good losers. Look how calm Barney's taking it.

Our next item is a blind bid.

What price do you put on a complete sporting outfit?

Ladies, first.

A complete sporting outfit?

Ha-ha, you're tricky, Will.

That could be anything from a bikini bathing suit

to the whole New Rock Yankee baseball team.

Well, I need 'em both, so I'll start high.

(audience) 'Higher, higher, higher!'

Seven-hundred bucks!

Well, Will, I've got a complete outfit at home already

but, uh, I could use any kind of sporting equipment.

I'm unemployed, you know?

I'll say, uh, $800.

(Will) 'Seven-hundred, eight -hundred. Uh, Mr. Rubble?'

(audience) 'Higher, higher, higher!'

Well, uh, I'll just put in my two cents and, uh--

(Will) 'Two cents.'

- 'The bidding's closed.' - But, but--

Now let's just see

what this complete sporting outfit consists of.

[laughing] Aren't we devils?

Oh-oh! It's a fishing outfit.

'A bamboo pole, a pin and a five-pound box of bait'

retail value, 47 cents.

And Mr. Rubble wins!

[bell ringing]

Oh, that means you've also won

the surprise prize, Mr. Rubble!

Open the curtains, please.

[audience gasping]

'Yes, Mr. Rubble, a brand-new Clayaforn'

'modern, split-level, ranch-styled houseboat'

complete with contour bunks, wall-to-wall bear skin

ceramic-tile rumpus room

and to power your aqua home over the foam

you have a pair of Johnstone sea-horse outboard motors.

[neighing]

'And motors that develop almost four sea-horsepower'

'on high-octane plankton.'

'And to roll your new houseboat down to the sea'

'this beautiful trailer.'

Tailored for the sailor by Shaylor.

Plus, a genuine captain's hat.

The whole schmear is yours, Barney Rubble

from "The Prize Is Priced!"

[audience applauding]

[upbeat music]

And, boy, were you corny.

- You even forgot to thank me. - For what?

For unselfishly giving you my ticket

so you could be on television instead of me.

Oh, uh, that's okay, Fred. Always glad to help out a buddy.

Uh, you and Wilma will have to take a trip

with me and Betty aboard our houseboat sometime.

Uh, when you say, "Our houseboat"

do you mean your houseboat or our houseboat?

Well, our houseboat will always be your houseboat, Fred.

Never mind your houseboat

let's start talking about my houseboat.

I'm so excited.

I wonder when the boys will be home with their houseboat.

Yeah, won't it be fun, living together this summer

drifting with the tide, no worries?

Barney and Fred are the only men I know

who don't get on each other's nerves.

[door opens]

Oh, that must be the boys now.

(Fred) 'Of all the..'

[Fred gibbering]

You know, Wilma, I think

the SS Friendship just hit a rock.

Betty, you better come home.

Those water buffaloes are nasty when they're crossed.

Don't talk to me of crossin', you triple-crosser!

Fred, is that any way to talk to your best friend?

(Fred) 'Best friend, ha!'

- I'm sorry, Barney. - Oh, it's okay, Wilma.

We old sailors have a saying

"When the wind blows out of the south

Fred Flintstone's running off with the mouth."

Uh, you're a sore loser. That's all.

Loser? Whose ticket got you on the program?

Barney, you mean, you boys are arguing about the houseboat?

- 'Of course.' - Well, isn't that silly?

If we owned it, we'd ask Fred and Wilma to share it.

And I'm sure, if they owned it, they'd ask us.

So let's just say we all own it together and share it.

What are you, some kind of a radical?

Sure. Whoever heard of a boat being filleted like that?

There's an old wives' saying that goes

"A houseboat divided against itself cannot sail."

Right, and if you two old salts don't stop acting so salty

you're both gonna have to look for new mates

to do your houseboat keeping.

- Aye-aye, Betty? - Aye-aye, Wilma.

The aye-ayes have it. Now let's get some sleep.

- Aye-aye. - Aye-aye.

Left is port and right is starboard.

Front is bow and back is stern.

(Barney) 'Hey, uh, Fred, Wilma, let's go.'

Be right out, Barney-boy!

Oh, if he calls me Barney-boy again

I'll throw him in a brig.

Barney, eh, oh, uh, captain sir

who put this on the back of the boat?

That's called a stern. Uh, Fred and I both named her.

I wanted to call her Nautical Lady

and Fred wanted "Queen Of The Sea.

So we split the difference

and took the first three letters of mine

and the last three letters of his.

N-A-U S-E-A.

That's Nausea and it's a sickening name for a boat.

Okay, you landlubbers, let's shove off.

I keep thinking I've forgotten something.

Oh, you know, I used to forget things on trips

until I started making a list

of everything I wanted to remember.

- Does it work? - I don't know.

I always leave the list behind.

[both laughing]

Come on, come on! Let's go, girls.

You two ride in the houseboat

and Barney and I will ride up front and, uh, navigate.

Uh, yeah. And if you want anything, just yell.

[instrumental music]

Bare left some more. Steady as she goes.

He's slowin' down.

Boy, I know we're lost, but this is ridiculous!

Whoever heard of drivin' a car as the crow flies?

It ain't a crow. It's a gull.

And gulls always head for the sea, sooner or later.

Of course, we could always stop

and, uh, ask somebody where the ocean is.

Who are you gonna stop and ask

when everybody's going 60 miles an hour?

Hey, hey, look out!

[clattering]

I see it, but I don't believe it.

It's true. We hit another houseboat.

[engine revving]

(male 1) 'Okay, what happened?'

That landlubber tried to make a starboard turn

without sticking his hand out.

Don't call me a landlubber, you landlubber.

I've been a sailor for over three weeks!

Yeah, sarge, you heard me correct.

On the freeway.

A collision between two boats.

No, I didn't notify the harbor patrol.

These boats were on wheels. Like houses.

[indistinct chatter on phone]

No. I never touch the stuff.

Ah, just ease her into the water and--

Hold it, Fred, hold it.

- Where's your tradition? - Huh?

You can't send her down the waves

without a formal christening.

Uh, where's the bottle of champagne?

Are you kidding?

All we got is a thermos full of Rocky Cola.

In a stirring moment like this, it's expendable.

Uh, which one of you girls would like to christen

the good ship Nausea?

Let Wilma have the honor.

I couldn't hit the side of a houseboat. Heh-heh.

Well, alright, but I don't know how.

Do I bunt or swing for the fences?

Just follow through and hit it right there.

I hereby christen the Nausea.

[thuds]

Oh, I'm sorry!

Well, we lost the trailer, but we still have the boat.

All we have to do now is wait till the tide rolls in

and we'll be afloat.

splash

(Barney) 'Hey, come on, Fred, we're afloat.'

Ee, yabba-dabba-doo!

Now hear this, now hear this.

The good ship Nausea is now officially afloat!

Where are we going, captain?

Hold it, hold it!

He's not the only captain around here.

Oh, Fred, you're not gonna start that again.

And why not? It was my ticket, wasn't it?

We're sailing south. The captain has spoken.

Oh, yeah? Take a look at this. What does it say?

Yeah, let's see. "Made in Japan."

Yeah, boy.

Wilma, look, we're drifting on to some rocks.

Unless you two want a real sunken living room

you'd better do something or we'll hit those rocks.

Not while I'm in command.

Quick, Barney, start the outboard motors

'while I steer.'

(Barney) 'You start the motors.'

Oh, Wilma, we better do something.

Help me throw out the anchor.

[grunting]

Oh, no!

It snagged our picnic basket.

- No, you start the motor. - You start.

Forget it. We're anchored.

I hope you boys are convinced

that two captains are not better than one.

Now, hear this.

If you captains don't want a mutiny among the crew

stop this fighting.

Right.

Yeah, you're right.

Okay, Barney, we'll head south like you wanted.

No, Fred, I insist we'll head your way.

I said we'll head your way!

I said we'd head your way!

And I say you'll both head straight for the galley

and start peeling potatoes.

(Fred) 'Why? What's for supper?'

- That's it. Potatoes. - Mm-hmm.

Cream of potato soup, French-fried potatoes

and flaming shish kebab of potatoes on a skewer.

What happened to all that big cider-roast brontosaurus beef

we brought along?

That cider beef went over the side.

Well, anyway, we're safely moored.

We can decide where we're goin' after supper.

Mm, roast bronto beef.

chomp

Boy, this is the life.

A nice dinner, anchored in a secluded little cove

nothin' around to bother us.

No boats, no people, no land.

Eh, eh, where did the land go, Fred?

Maybe it went out with the tide.

Well, it sure is windy out here in a bay.

Uh, you know what, Fred? I think we're movin'.

What makes you say a stupid thing like that?

You know we're anchored.

Well, so how come those buoys are goin' by

like a picket fence?

Huh?

(Barney) '"If you're queazy'

'"sailing on the wave'

'"just open your mouth'

'shout Terra Firma Shave."'

'Uh, you know, Fred, I was reading an article'

'by this scientist who claims'

'uh, there's absolutely no evidence'

to support the existence of sea monsters.

H-he says they're only harmless pieces of folklore.

So, a scientist doesn't believe there's any sea monsters. So?

So I was just wondering, uh

if that sea monster believes in scientists.

[laughs]

Ha-ha-ha. "Sea monsters."

Betty and I think you boys ought to slow down

and stop showing off.

You could tell the sea monster, except sea monsters

are just a, a harmless piece of folklore.

[gasps] That's a sea monster! Oh, what can we do?

Beats me, the operating instructions don't cover

anything that happens over 20 knots! We're doing 60!

(Betty) 'Oh, look, he's turnin' around.'

(Fred) Well, at least we're headed back in the right direction!

Yes, but we're heading for that big rock!

crash

splash

We're okay now. The rope broke.

- We're sinking. - Oh, d-d-don't get excited!

W-w-we're close to shore and we got a life raft.

Well, hurry, please!

[blowing]

(Wilma) 'But that's too small for all of us.'

Tut-tut, the number-one tradition

of the sea says women first.

I'll force myself in somewhere to keep you from panicking.

Wait a minute.

What do you mean you'll go? I'll go!

[blowing]

(Barney) 'Shame on you, Fred.'

The number-two tradition of the sea says

the captain always goes down with his ship.

- You're the acting captain. - Yeah?

Well, a minute ago you were acting like the captain.

Can I hold the raft for you, Fred?

Yeah, thanks. Now, let's be fair, Rubble.

You won "The Prize Is Priced"

you got to get down with your bonus prize.

I'm sorry, it was your ticket

which won this sinking ship, captain.

Alright, Barney, as captain

I command you to obey and go to the bottom

while I help the girls ashore.

Some captain you are. Scared to go down with his ship.

(Fred) Look who's talking. The old chicken of the sea himself.

[both mumbling]

I wonder how long they can stay down there.

I don't know about Barney, but Fred's so full of hot air

we may as well settle down for a long, long wait.

[both laughing]

[theme music]

creak

[yawning]

[clinks]

[door shuts]

[music continues]

boing

[door slams]

[rattling]

Wilma!

[banging on door]

Wilma!

Come on, Wilma, open this door!

Wilma!

[music continues]

[instrumental music]