Original subtitles

I'll turn on the TV, Fred.

(man on TV) 'And now a brand new show.'

Rockenschpeel Products Company

where happiness is our most important by-product

brings you "The Happy Housewife" program.

'Two hours of music, songs'

'helpful hints from our star'

'Wilma Flintstone.'

Oh, turn that thing off, will you?

- 'Okay, Fred.' - Wilma Flintstone?

[theme music]

[blows whistle]

screech

[siren wailing]

[blows whistle]

vroom

screech

[music continues]

screech

vroom

screech

bam

thud

thud

mwah

[engine revving]

vroom

Golly, Wilma, I didn't realize it was so late.

Neither did I, Betty.

Oh, when I'm shopping, I forget all about time.

Me too. I just can't tear myself away from those bargains.

I'm lucky that Barney isn't too fussy.

I'll warm up some leftovers.

Fred expects a hot meal plucked out in front of him

the minute he gets home.

Well, I hope we get there before the boys do, Wilma.

I hope so too, or I'm in for one enchanted evening.

How about that, Barney?

We make the effort to get home a little early

just so we could have dinner sooner

so the girls will be finished washing the dishes early.

You came home early because you were hungry, Fred.

That's beside the point.

They're supposed to be home, not gallivantin' around.

They're not gallivantin', Fred. They went shoppin'.

Shoppin'? That's the worst kind of gallivant.

Uh-oh! The boys are home early, Wilma.

Wouldn't you know it.

Hey, Fred, here come the girls.

They're turning into the driveway.

Now, they're swinging into the garage.

crash

(Fred) 'Well, the garage door'

'takes an awful beatin'.'

Is that why you bought Wilma that, uh

new little bitty car, Fred?

He he he.

I figured the smaller the car, the less packages it can carry.

So I bought Wilma the compactest compact I could find.

Ho ho, I get it, Fred. Holds down the shopping, huh?

Right. He-he, he-he.

How much can one of those tiny cars hold, huh? Ha ha ha.

Just a second, Betty.

I have to press this button to open the trunk.

pop

(Betty) 'Wilma, you sure are a genius at packing things.'

Alright. Alright.

I can't make it as fast as you spend it, I admit it.

So let's call off the contest.

Spend, spend, spend.

You go running around with a charger plate in each hand.

Money isn't going out of style. It's in to stay, believe me.

What big deal is it to be

the best dressed woman in a poor house?

All you think of is how to get rid of my hard earned money.

Now, you hold it right there, Fred Flintstone.

I'm sick and tired of these money arguments.

I wanna look nice so you'll be proud of me as your wife.

I have pride in my appearance and I'm not going to look like

I just swam to shore from a sinking ship.

- Nah! - This is a 50-50 deal.

I work hard around here and I'm willing to do more.

'If necessary, I'll get a job to earn some extra money.'

That's a hot one. A job? Ha-ha-ha.

What's so funny about that?

You are too smart to leave this cushy setup you have here.

You like it just as it is. You..

Yeow!

Now, what brought that on?

[instrumental music]

Wilma and I sure had a wingding last night.

Yeah, I could hear you yelling, Fred.

- I was not yelling! - Okay, okay, Fred.

All our fights are about money.

Wilma goes out and fritters dough away on clothes and stuff

and I'm still using last year's bowling shoes.

- Well, that's too bad, Fred. - She said she might get a job.

Ha-ha! What a laugh.

She's too used to me keeping her in luxury.

Yeah, Fred.

A job? Well, you have a job, Wilma. Keeping house.

I know, but it doesn't pay anything

when I have to fight over a new dress.

I'm going to earn my own money.

Say, I could use some extra money too, Wilma.

Barney never gripes but if I made some extra money

it'll be a lot easier.

Yeah. Say, Betty, come on with me.

- We'll both get a job. - Okay, Wilma.

[instrumental music]

(female 1) 'The Bedrock Employment Agency'

has never failed to find a job for any applicant.

Now, girls, what are your qualifications?

(Betty) 'Well, I can type.'

Good. Good.

I'll give you a test.

Mrs. Rubble, sit over at that desk.

[typewriter keys clacking]

My, you're a very fast typist, Mrs. Rubble.

It's all spelled wrong, but you're fast.

I can place you, I'm sure.

And I think I have a filing job for you, Mrs. Flintstone.

Both of you go to this address and see the personnel manager.

(Betty) 'Oh, we will. Thank you.'

It was nice of you to send us to the same place.

(Betty) This is the address and..

Look what it is!

"The Bedrock Radio, TV Corporation."

Betty, if we get the jobs here, we can see all the TV stars.

[laughing]

I'd work for nothing.

Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say that.

After all, that's the deal we got at home.

Yeah. This time we want money.

Now, you think this is where they said

we'd find the personnel manager?

Well, let's look in. What can we lose?

Oh, there you are. Come on in, girls.

You're late, you're late.

You should have been here with the other girls.

- Oh, we-we're sorry. - Oh, we hurried right over.

Okay, wait right here.

I'll check with Mr. Rockenschpeel.

Hundreds of girls are here.

None of them is any good for my new TV show.

Oh, boy, I better sell Rockenschpeel on these two dames

or I'll lose this juicy million dollar account.

Ah, Mr. Rockenschpeel, our worries are over.

You mean, your worries. Me, I got only trouble.

I think we found the right girls for your show.

If you don't, I cancel out the whole thing.

Oh. Yes, sir, Mr. Rockenschpeel.

Alright, girls, Mr. Rockenschpeel

is the headman. If he likes you, you're in. Smile, happy, happy.

Lots of teeth. Good, good. That's it. You're on.

Hit it, Charlie.

[piano music]

(male 1) 'Okay. The dark-haired one. Go!'

[music continues]

Ah! Hold it! Hold it!

Stop the music!

- What are you doing? - I'm leaving.

- You told me to go. - 'I meant go.'

- 'Go ahead and sing.' - I can't sing.

'You...can't sing?'

- No! But Wilma sings. - She does?

(Betty) 'Oh, she's the greatest'

'according to the girls in our Bridge club.'

Bridge club! Huh!

I made only one mistake today. I got out of bed.

Well, I'm waiting. Where's my zinging?

(male 1) 'The zinging? Oh, yeah, Mr. Rockenschpeel.'

Okay, Wilma, baby. Give it all you got.

But I haven't sung since our last Bridge club meeting.

Mm-hmm. Again with the Bridge club.

[laughing]

Alright, alright, alright!

Stop with the giggling and start with the zinging.

Go on and sing, Wilma, if it means getting a job.

Okay, I'll try.

You'll try. Sure. Alright, Charlie, hit it!

[piano music]

? Remember that rainy evenin' ?

? I threw you out ?

? With nothin' nothin' but a bind to comb ?

? I know I know.. ??

Oh, no, no, no, no!

I'm ruined! Kaput!

The million buck account out the window!

? Yeah ?

? I know I'm to blame ?

Rockenschpeel! He likes it! He likes it!

How's that, Rocky boy?

It-it's good. I like it!

I told you I'd deliver!

? Come home ??

Wilma, baby, you were great, great, great!

The job is yours.

'Here, sign this and you go to work.'

That's it! Thanks! Good, good, good!

Um, uh, what was that I signed?

A contract for 39 weeks, to star on the Rockenschpeel's show.

That's all. Why?

Oh, I, I was just wondering. Thank you.

You know, if I could sing

I would've gotten the typist job, I guess.

Well, it's a lot of fuss over just a file clerk job.

- But I got it. - Oh, you sure did, Wilma.

Say, Betty, what was it that man said I signed?

Oh, that was just a contract for 39 weeks.

(both) To star on the Rockenschpeel show!

Oh, mister, my husband won't let me do anything like this.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Flintstone. But you signed the contract.

You must fulfill it, otherwise we will sue, sue!

'Now, get used to the idea.'

Starting today, for 39 weeks at dinnertime

you are the singing star of Rockenschpeel's

'"Happy Housewife" show.'

Thirty-nine weeks at dinnertime?

Oh, how can I ever tell Fred?

Come on, Mrs. Flintstone. You're on.

Rehearsals for this evening's opening show, you know.

Betty, I'll write a note to Fred.

You leave it on the table with one of your frozen TV dinners.

He's never had one, but it's the best I can do.

Well, Barney, after that set-to Wilma and I had last night

she'll knock herself out tonight to give me a big feed.

She'll probably start off with the jellied cactus hearts

dodo bird on the rocks

or a sizzling brontosaurus steak

New York cut, medium rare.

Mm-mmm. Cut it out, Fred!

I'm just gonna have warmed over leftovers.

Ha-ha-ha. Warmed over leftovers, eh?

screech

- 'See ya after dinner, Barney.' - 'Yeah, Fred. So long!'

I'm home, Wilma.

Don't tell me what's for dinner. I'll close my eyes.

Surprise me.

Okay, I'm ready. Let's have it!

Wilma? I'm ready.

What's with the note?

'"Dearest Fred, hope you enjoy your dinner.'

'Will explain later. Love Wilma."'

Oh. "This is a complete frozen dinner containing.."

[grunting]

I'm so hungry, I'll eat anything.

chomp

[screaming]

Didn't that sound like Fred, Betty?

Yeah. I don't know who he could be growling at.

Wilma isn't home yet.

Uh, look, Barney, why don't you go over

and try to cheer Fred up?

Well, yeah, okay. I'll do that, Betty.

But I still don't get it.

[Barney scatting]

Hi, Fred, can I come in?

[growling]

Gee, Fred, I'm, uh, I'm sorry. Looks like Wilma deserted you.

Uh, can't say I blame her.

[growling]

Uh, how'd you enjoy your, uh, frozen dinner, Fred?

[growling]

Gee, Fred, all I'm trying to do is cheer you up.

You know, make conversation and stuff like that, that.

Well, I don't want no conversation. I want food!

F-O-O-O! Oh, I'm hungry!

Say, Barney, how about those warmed over leftovers?

Too bad, Fred. There weren't any warmed over leftovers

left over to be warmed over left over.

[laughing]

That ain't funny, Barney.

Oh, I'm sorry, Fred. I-I'll turn on the TV.

(man on TV) 'And now a brand new show.'

Rockenschpeel Products Company

where happiness is our most important by-product

brings you "The Happy Housewife" program.

'Two hours of music, songs, helpful hints'

'from our star, Wilma Flintstone.'

Oh, turn that thing off, will you?

- 'Okay, Fred.' - Wilma Flintstone?

Oh, oh, wait a minute. Wait, wait, hold it!

Now, may I introduce our Wilma

'the Happy Housewife.'

- Wilma? - Hey, how about that, Fred?

Wilma on TV.

(man on TV)' 'Our happy housewife'

'has been cooking all afternoon.'

Cookin' all afternoon for whom?

(man on TV) 'And here she is with this delicious'

'Rockenschpeel meal she has prepared.'

Your husband will be happy too

when he is greeted with a nice roast loin

of Rockenschpeel brontosaurus.

Sure looks good, huh, Fred?

[growling]

Well, I'm sorry, Fred. I forgot you haven't had any dinner.

All you wives know how important it is

to have a nice, hot meal waiting

for that hungry man of yours.

'And you can't go wrong with a sizzling, hot'

Rockenschpeel brontosaurus fillet steak, New York cut.

My dinner on TV.

Sort of a TV dinner, huh, Fred?

[laughing]

? Make your hobby hubby ?

? Keep your hubby happy ?

? When he's a little chubby ?

? He's a happy pappy ?

? With Rockenschpeel ??

(man on TV) 'One more time, Wilma.'

? Make your hobby hubby ?

? Keep your hubby happy ?

? When he's a little chubby ?

No, wait, Fred. Wait till Wilma comes home.

[grunting]

A-and talk it over.

crash

[panting]

See you later, Fred.

[Fred growling]

[dramatic music]

'Wilma!'

[screaming]

H-hi, Fred.

What's the idea being on television

instead of being here, makin' dinner?

How many times have I told you a woman's place is in the home?

Go ahead, explain why you were cooking my dinner on TV.

Well, this morning, Betty and I went down

to see about getting a job.

We went into an employment agency..

[sobbing] And that's how I got to be

Wilma, the Happy Housewife.

Okay, Wilma, the Happy Housewife

Fred, the hilarious husband is going down there

and cancel that contract.

But, Fred, they said they'd sue.

Sue, shmoo!

I'll tear that station apart two by two.

They're dealing with Fred Flintstone now.

[instrumental music]

Gosh! Fred's been gone over an hour.

I hope he's not too rough on them.

Well, Fred won't let them push him around.

- He's got friends. - Yes.

Fred's a pretty big man in this town.

[laughing]

If Fred would be a pretty big man in any town.

[laughing]

Bang.

Here comes Fred, Wilma.

(Wilma) 'Fred, how'd you make out?'

They had all their smart lawyers

and some fast talking agency boys

their company's executive board all lined up against me.

You told them off, huh, Fred?

They argued and threatened, but I stood firm.

Finally I won. Two out of three points.

- 'What were they, Fred?' - One, they won't sue me.

Two, they won't have me fired from my job.

What was three, Fred?

Wilma keeps right on being

Wilma, The Happy Housewife.

(Barney) 'Hey, that's a pretty good deal, Fred. They're considerate.'

Yeah, it look like I was gonna be deported there for a while.

Hey, Betty, how did things go today?

Uh, you know, Fred and Wilma?

All swell, Barney. Everything's squared away.

Wilma's going to keep on with the show

and it's okay with Fred.

Oh, great. And Fred will eat out, huh?

Oh, no. Fred won't eat anything but home-cooking.

'So, he'll be our guest and eat his dinners here.'

Feed Fred Flintstone for 39 weeks?

Oh, Betty, we'll be ruined! Bankrupt!

Oh, come now, Barney.

How much could Fred possibly eat?

Nobody knows. He's never been filled up.

(Fred) 'Hi, neighbors.'

It's famished Freddie

the man who came to dinner.

First of all, we'll check the kitchen

to see if you'll pardon the cliche "What's cookin'."

[Fred laughing]

'Mmm, dodo bird fricassee.'

Looks a little thin.

slur-r-r-p

Could stand a little bit more seasoning too, Betty.

Creamed seaweed, that's out and this brontosaurus roast.

It's too well-done besides being much too small.

Wilma never cooks like this.

There's somethin' missin', Betty.

Oh, there's nothing missing, but there will be.

You, Fred Flintstone. Out, out, out!

[door closes]

That's always the way.

You have friends when you don't need them.

When you need them, they throw you out of the house.

Boy, am I hungry.

Hey, that's just what I need.

'"Mother's Place. Real Home Cooking."'

'Must be new. I've never seen it before.'

[instrumental music]

- Oh, mother. - What do you want, mac?

- You're, uh, m-mother? - Right, mac.

Mother's the name. Sam Mother. What do you wanna eat?

Ah..

A-a-a hot bronto sandwich and-and-and hold the gravy.

(Sam) 'One HB, dry.'

(male 2) 'One HB, dry, comin' up!'

Here, mac. One hot Bronto sandwich, no gravy.

Thanks, Mother.

(Sam) 'I think I'll turn on the TV and get a little dinner music.'

(man on TV) 'And here comes our Wilma, the Happy Housewife.'

'And what have you, uh, uh cooked up for us today, Wilma?'

A nice, crispy barbecued Rockenschpeel dinosaur rib.

And, girls, your husband will love it.

splat

? Make your hobby hubby ?

? Keep your hubby happy ?

? When he's a little chubby ?

? He's a happy pappy ?

? With Rockenschpeel ??

(man on TV) 'Yes, you too can be a happy housewife if you..'

[screaming]

Hey, mac, don't touch that TV.

thud

[indistinct]

[rumbling]

[telephone ringing]

- Will you get that, Barney? - 'Okay, Betty.'

'Yeah? Oh, hiya, Fred. What's new?'

'What are you doin' in jail, Fred?'

'You broke up a television set?'

In Mother's Place?

And hit Mother? Oh, oh, okay, Fred.

I have to go down and bail Fred out, Betty.

(Betty) 'Why, you ought to leave him there.'

Anyone that would strike his mother

and break her TV set should be in jail.

Those old folks love TV.

Not Fred's mother. Sam Mother.

I don't care whose mother it is. It just isn't nice.

But he runs a beanery. You-you, you know, a restaurant.

(Betty) 'It makes no difference what he does.'

'We're concerned with his mother.'

But-but Sam Mother who-who owns a..

Oh, skip it. I'll explain later.

I'm sure surprised at Fred Flintstone.

[instrumental music]

(male 1) 'Here you are, Mr. Bedrock, the latest ratings.'

The Bedrock Network has done it again.

The "Happy Housewife" program is the number one show

from coast to coast.

Great, great! That's three straight weeks.

[laughing]

I'll give the Rockbound Network a ring

and give 'em the old needle.

Hello, get me Sam Rockbound at the Rockbound Network.

He-he. Rockbound hates it when I do this.

Hello, this is Ed Bedrock.

That you, Rockbound?

Yeah, this is Sam Rockbound.

What's on your mind, Bedrock?

Yes, I've seen the latest ratings on "Happy Housewife."

So what?

You're being clobbered, Rockbound.

Clobbered, that's what! He he he.

He hates when I do that.

He he he.

Oh, I hate when he does that.

But he's right. We are being clobbered.

That "Happy Housewife" show is killing us.

We've got to do something.

Let's see now..

Every housewife has an Achilles' heel

which reminds me..

...what about a husband?

I'll start by seeing how happy a happy housewife's husband is.

[laughing]

[knock on door]

Come in.

- Mr. Flintstone? - 'Yeah, yeah.'

I'm Sam Rockbound, Rockbound Networks.

- May I come in? - What do you want?

Mr. Flintstone, how do you like being the husband

of TV's "Happy Housewife?"

- You really wanna know? - Why, yes.

Well, sit down, buster. I got a story to tell you.

With the ratings we're getting, Mr. Bedrock

we can keep "The Happy Housewife"

show going forever.

Right! As long as there are housewives.

[laughing]

[telephone ringing]

Hello, Bedrock speaking.

Oh! Hello, Rockbound.

Now, listen, groveling won't help you a bit.

I'm not groveling, Bedrock.

But you will.

I've got news for you.

I've got a new show to buck against "Happy Housewife."

You're kidding. What did you say you're calling it?

"Neglected Husband?"

Starring, The Happy Housewife's husband, Fred Flintstone?

But, Sam baby, y-you can't let him say things like that.

You'll ruin our show.

Oh, that's the idea.

But, Sam, Sam, pal, I'm groveling.

Believe me, I'm groveling.

Listen, suppose I yank "Happy Housewife."

Sure, I will.

Right. Honest. Yeah, right now, Sam baby.

Yes. Thanks, buddy. Thanks. Right away.

Hey, you!

Stop "The Happy Housewife" show right now!

? Make your hobby hubby.. ??

Sorry, lady. Show's over.

? With Rockenschpeel.. ??

(man on TV) 'Due to circumstances beyond our control'

'"Happy Housewife" is off the air.'

Wilma's been cookin' all day, huh, Betty?

It's been her first chance for weeks.

Oh, uh, here comes Fred.

[scatting]

Yabba-dabba-doo-doo

doo-doo-doo-doo-doo.

Oh, Wilma!

bang

I'm home, Wilma. Start it coming.

? Keep your hubby happy ?

? When he's a little chubby ?

? He's a happy pappy ??

One more time, Wilma, and keep it coming.

? When he's a little chubby ?

? He's a happy pappy ??

I hope all you wives out there are taking notes.

[laughing]

[theme music]

[yawning]

clink

thud

bam

thud

[door rattling]

Wilma!

thud thud thud

Wilma!

thud thud thud

Come on, Wilma! Open this door!

Wilma!

[instrumental music]