Original subtitles

Follow that wheelchair.

I know it wouldn't work, Fred.

Uh, why don't you just give up?

And let Wilma catch me in a lie? Nothin' doin'.

[blowing whistle]

vroom

[blowing whistle]

vroom

[blows whistle]

They're catchin' up to us, Fred.

Uh, it's no use. Let's give up.

Not on your life, Barney.

We'll beat 'em home, take that costume off

'and deny everything.'

crash

[theme music]

honk honk

honk

[blowing whistle]

screech

[siren wailing]

vroom

screech

[music continues]

[wheels screeching]

vroom

screech

crash

thud

slam

smack

Ah, that was some dinner, honey.

Like I always say, nobody, but nobody

can make dinosaurbraten the way you do.

Oh, I'm glad you enjoyed it, dear.

By the way, got any plans for tonight?

No, why?

'I thought we might go to a movie.'

They're showing "Swiss Family Rubberstone" with James Slagney

at the Bedrock Theater.

No, I don't wanna go out tonight, honey. I'm too tired.

I'm just gonna relax in my easy chair and watch television.

Oh, Fred.

Whenever I wanna go some place

you're always too tired.

If it was something you wanted to see, you'd go fast enough.

Not tonight, I wouldn't.

I tell you I'm bushed.

I'm gonna watch TV for a while.

Then I'm gonna hit the sack nice and early.

[knock on door]

- Come in. - 'Hey, Fred.'

Oh, hello, Barney.

Say, uh, can I perhaps

have a word with you in private?

If it'll make you happy, my friend. Shoot.

Hey, you wanna play a little poker tonight, Fred?

There's gonna be a game at Sam Quartz's house.

No, no, I don't think so.

I'm kinda tired tonight, Barney.

Well, that's too bad, Fred.

The whole gang will be there.

Even, uh, Stanley Stonebruise.

That pigeon? Oh, boy.

If there's one guy I can always beat at poker

it's Stanley Stonebruise.

[both laughing]

I'll tell Wilma we're goin'.

[laughs]

Uh-oh.

'What's the matter, Fred?'

Wilma wanted me to take her to the movies

and, I said nothing could get me out of the house tonight.

So?

'So, how am I gonna tell her'

'I'm goin' out to play poker?'

Hmm. As the saying goes

"This is a pretty kettle of doughnuts."

Doughnuts? That's fish. "A pretty kettle of fish."

Yeah, but I don't like fish, Fred.

Oh, boy, you're a big help, you are.

Well, I gotta tell her so I might as well

get it over with.

Wilma.

Oh, Wilma.

Well, what is it?

Oh, hello, Barney.

(Barney) 'Hi, Wilma.'

What did you want, Fred?

I want, uh..

Honey, um, I have to go out.

'Out? What for?'

Well, Barney has just brought me some terrible news.

- Didn't you, Barney? - Me?

Oh, uh, you mean about the not likin' fish?

No, no.

I mean, about Stanley Stonebruise.

Honey, Stanley is very sick.

And he's callin' for me.

- 'I gotta rush to his side.' - What's the matter with him?

(Fred) 'Uh, nobody knows.'

'He's got three doctors workin' night and day'

'trying to find out.'

They give him shots and pills, transfusions

but nothing works.

Poor Stanley.

He just lies there getting weaker and weaker.

And he keeps calling for me.

(Wilma) 'But what can you do?'

Honey, I, I can hold his hand or-or let him hold my hand.

Sure. Uh, there's bound to be a lot of hand-holding tonight.

It's me, you muck head.

So, I gotta go, Wilma honey.

'Tired as I am'

'I gotta drag my weary bones out of the house'

'and stay with Stanley.'

I can just hear him now, lyin' there and callin'

"Fred. Fred, where are you? Fred?

"Come to me, Fred.

'Where are you, pal?"'

Gee, the poor guy. Hey, maybe you shouldn't go.

Uh, maybe whatever he's got is contagious.

Oh, quiet.

No, no. In a case like this

I can't think of myself.

I must think of Stanley, who needs me.

Come, Barney.

Let us be on our errand of mercy

'before it's too late.'

Wait. Barney, is this true?

Is this Stanley person really so sick?

Well, uh, all I can say is

I wouldn't be surprised

if tonight he cashed in his chips.

Goodnight, Wilma.

Don't wait up for me.

How about that, Fred?

Six pots in a row.

Hey, Stanley's doing pretty good

for a sick man, huh, Fred?

Oh, he's just lucky.

Wait until the next hand.

pop pop pop

tick tick tick

I call you, Stanley. What have you got?

Uh, three sixes any good?

Ha ha. Three nines.

I beat you again, Stanley.

'Come on, you guys. How about a little action?'

I've had it, pal. You cleaned me out.

Besides, it's getting late, Fred.

How about you, Stanley? Wanna play some more?

No, I guess not.

You're too hot for me.

Okay, I'll just count my chips and see how much I won.

[laughing]

You were sure lucky tonight, Fred.

Imagine, winning 200 clams.

Hot-diggidy-dog!

Not lucky, Barney boy. Skillful.

There's no such thing as luck.

By the way, how did you make out?

'I lost three and a quarter.'

Aw, that's too bad.

You and Sam were the only winners.

Uh, he won about four dollars.

He did, huh?

Well, it's too bad he won your three bucks and not me, Barney.

If I had won it, I'd give it back to you.

'Hey, Fred, I hate to spoil your good mood--'

Nothin' could spoil my good mood, Barney, my lad.

What is it?

Uh..

How you gonna explain that 200 bucks to Wilma?

Well, easy. I'll just tell her I, I..

Now, why did you have to bring that up?

You spoiled my good mood.

Sorry, Fred. Uh, forget I mentioned it.

How can I forget it?

Wilma thinks I've been visitin' a sick friend.

How am I gonna account for the money?

Well, uh, you could tell her, uh..

You could tell her you found it.

That's it, I found it.

Yeah, yeah, I happen to look down

there it was lying in the street.

That sounds alright, don't it?

- It could happen. - Sure, it could.

But to make it sound even better

let me have your wallet, Barney.

What for? There's nothin' in it.

Besides, it's, uh, just about all worn out.

That's even better. Let me have it.

'Okay. Here.'

It'll sound better to say the money was in a wallet

instead of just lying on the ground loose.

- You get it? - 'Yeah.'

You gotta think.

'You gotta think of all the angles, Barney.'

Well, I think honesty is the best policy.

Why don't you just tell her the truth, Fred?

Are you kidding?

Why tell your wife the truth when you don't have to?

Anyway, it's just a little white lie.

And what harm is there in tellin' a little white lie?

[humming]

(Fred) 'Wilma, oh, Wilma.'

I'm glad you're still up, honey.

Guess what happened on my way home.

You found a wallet with a fortune in it?

I found a wallet with a..

- How did you know? - Know what, Fred?

(Fred) 'About the wallet.'

You know somethin', Barney.

That ain't no wedding ring we give our wives

when we get married.

It's a radar set.

Once they put it on, they can tell where we go

'what we're doin', even what we're thinkin'.

What are you talking about, Fred?

You mean you did find some money?

Did I? Just cast your lovely peepers

on this 200 smackeroos money.

Two hundred lovely, beautiful, gorgeous smackeroos.

Yeah, Fred was lucky tonight.

I mean skillful.

thump

Why, that's fantastic.

How did you happen to find it?

I was walkin' along, I looked down

and there it was.

$200. That's a fortune, Fred.

And there was no identification in the wallet?

None at all.

That's what makes me feel so bad.

There's absolutely no way of finding out who lost it.

- Oh, yes, there is, Fred. - Huh? How?

We'll put an ad in the paper.

You know, "Wallet found. Owner can have by identifying."

Barney's right, Fred.

But, b-b-b-but..

'Tomorrow morning, I'll call Daisy Kilgranite.'

She works in the Lost and Found Department

of the Bedrock Chronicle.

'She'll tell me how to place the ad.'

- But, b-b-b-but, but.. - 'I'm going to bed now.'

I'll keep this money under my pillow for safekeeping.

- Goodnight, Barney. - Goodnight, Wilma.

Goodnight, honey.

Duh, you nincompoop

you chowderhead.

What's the idea suggesting that ad?

I was only trying to help, Fred.

After all, when somebody really finds somethin'

well, they try find out who lost it, don't they?

Yeah, yeah, yeah

and if you don't keep your fat mouth shut

you are gonna lose a couple of teeth.

Hello? Bedrock Chronicle?

Will you please connect me with Daisy Kilgranite?

Thank you.

Extra by Daisy Kilgranite.

Friends and relatives of Mrs. Charsie Birthstone

'will be happy to hear she is suing this reporter.'

[telephone ringing]

'Daisy Kilgranite speaking. What's news?'

(Wilma) 'Hello, Daisy. This is Wilma Flintstone.'

Wilma, how are you, dear?

'Just fine. I'd like to put an ad in your paper.'

Sure, go ahead.

Your husband found a wallet.

I see.

Well, is this the kind of wallet worn above the waist?

Is it bigger than a breadbox?

I see.

Just a plain, old wallet.

'Okay, Wilma, I'll see that your ad'

'gets into the afternoon edition.'

- 'Goodbye.' - Goodbye, Daisy. And thanks.

Here it is, Barney.

"Found man's wallet containing large sum of money.

Call Bedrock 313."

It doesn't say very much, does it, Fred?

If you ask me, it says too much.

(Fred) 'Wilma didn't have to say, "Large sum of money."'

'That's a dead giveaway.'

Well, I don't see how, Fred.

Or, the word "large" doesn't necessarily mean, uh, $200.

'No, but it gives you a good idea.'

'Say, say, some crook calls up to claim the wallet, see?'

He knows it's a large sum of money.

So he says, uh, $150. Wilma says no.

So he calls up again, and in a different voice

he says 160 and 170.

'Three more calls and he hits the jackpot.'

Uh, gee, I don't blame you for being worried, Fred.

Anybody can claim that money.

Yeah.

And that's exactly

what somebody's gonna do.

Come on, Barney. You're gonna be somebody.

whoosh

(Barney) 'But, Fred, do I have to?'

(Fred) 'Come on, Barney, be a pal.'

I can't, Fred. I just can't.

Come back here, you coward.

Our friendship depends on it.

You want somebody else to get the money?

No, but, uh, why do I have to lie, Fred?

Why can't I tell the truth?

'What is this mania you got for telling the truth?'

You must have been weaned on sodium pentothal

or something.

Anyway, it's only a little white lie.

What harm is there with a little white lie?

Now, get in here. Call up Wilma.

[telephone ringing]

(Wilma) 'Hello.'

'Yes, this is Bedrock 313.'

You're calling to claim the wallet?

Can you describe it?

Yes.

Yes, that's right.

$200 was in it.

Uh, well, it looks like it's yours alright.

May I ask your name, madam?

My name, uh, uh..

Um, um, Schimelstone. Tilly Schimelstone.

Uh, Tilly Schimelstone is my name.

And, uh, I sure am glad someone honest found my money.

See, uh, like, I'm a poor old widow, you know.

And, it was, uh, every cent I had in the world.

I'm very happy for you, Mrs. Schimelstone.

Now, when do you want to come over

and pick up your wallet?

Oh, no, no, no, no. I can't do that.

Uh, 'cause I'm too sick.

I, uh, uh, broke my leg skiing.

I'm in a wheelchair, like.

'It's very painful, listen.'

'Oww! Oww!'

Oh, you poor thing.

I'll bring the wallet over to your house.

No, you can't do that. Uh, I got no address.

Uh, and that money I lost was for the rent.

And when I couldn't pay it, uh, the landlord kicked me out.

Tell her to mail it care of general delivery.

Yeah, yeah. Why don't you send it to the post office

uh, care of general delivery?

Alright, Mrs. Schimelstone.

I'll have my husband mail it tonight

and you'll get it first thing in the morning.

Oh, bless you, my child. Bless you.

Goodbye, dearie.

[laughs]

It went perfect. Just like I said.

Now, we'll rush home, and Wilma will tell me

she found the owner of the wallet.

Uh, then what.. Then what, Fred?

He he he. Then she'll ask me

to mail it to Tilly Schimelstone and that's it.

I got back my 200 bucks.

I've gotta hand it to you, Fred.

You sure know what you're doin'.

Ain't it the truth?

[both laughing]

Oh, Wilma, I'm home.

Hello, Fred.

I've got good news for you.

The wallet has been claimed.

It has?

By who I wonder?

By a dear, sweet, old lady.

She asked me to mail the wallet to her.

Oh, I'm so glad we put the ad in the paper.

It was all the money the poor woman had in the world.

Well, uh, let's not keep the old lady waiting.

You want me to rush out and mail the wallet, right?

'Oh, that won't be necessary, Fred.'

Huh? Wha-wha-what?

I was so anxious for her to get it back

I mailed it right after she called.

thud

Fred, what was that?

Are you alright, Fred?

Oh, he's alright, Wilma.

Just a little overcome with joy over the good news.

Come on, Fred. Snap out of it.

Come on, boy. Up on your feet, Fred.

Yeah, I had a bad time there for a minute last night

but it's gonna work out okay after all.

All I do is pick up the package

with the wallet in it at the post office.

What's so hard about that?

I don't know, Fred, but, uh, it ain't workin' out

as easy as you said it would.

Oh, stop worryin'. You'll see.

Okay. Okay, Fred.

screech

Here we are. Now, you wait here, Barney.

I'll pick up the package and be right out.

Okay, Fred.

Good morning, my good clerk.

I, uh, believe you have something

for Mrs. Tilly Schimelstone?

Schimelstone? I'll see.

Hey, Mac.

Anything for Schimelstone?

(Mac) 'Yeah, there's a package here.'

Okay, let's have it.

Here it is.

"Mrs. Tilly Schimelstone

care of general delivery."

That's it. Allow me to congratulate you, sir

on the excellency of postal service.

Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow can--

Are you Mrs. Tilly Schimelstone?

...can keep the hearty..

Eh, who, uh, me? No, no--

Then I cannot give you the package.

What do you mean you can't give it to me?

'The law says I can only deliver this to the addressee.'

'Mrs. Schimelstone will have to call for it herself.'

But she can't, she's, uh

a sick old lady who broke her leg skiing.

She's in a wheelchair.

Oh, that's tough, mister.

But the law is the law.

'Oh, yeah? Well, I am a taxpayer'

and I'm gonna demand an investigation.

What kind of a shady operation you running here, anyway?

How'd you make out, Fred? You get the package?

No.

A slight complication come up.

Complication? What do we do now?

I don't know yet. Let me think.

Well, you got one thing anyway.

Yeah, what's that?

A ticket for illegal parking in a red zone.

[laughs]

[telephone ringing]

(Daisy) 'Daisy Kilgranite speaking.'

Oh, hello, Wilma.

Did you see your ad in the paper?

Yes, and it got immediate results.

Uh-huh. A poor old widow lost the money.

A widow? In a wheelchair?

Evicted? Oh, my goodness.

She's going to pick it up this morning at the post office?

Say, what a story for my column.

Why don't you meet me there, Wilma?

This could be the story of the year.

Stop the presses.

Stop the presses.

Stop the presses!

'Stop the presses!'

boing

Hold it, Josephine.

Uh, I don't know, Fred.

Uh, I ain't so sure this will work.

Of course, it'll work.

Now, stop worryin' and start acting like Mrs. Schimelstone.

Besides, can you think of any other way

to get that package?

- Oh, good morning, young man. - Oh, good morning.

I've come for my package.

I'm Tilly Schimelstone.

'Oh, yeah, oh, sure.'

'Well, you'll have to sign for it first, Mrs. Schimelstone.'

- Here you are. - 'Oh, thank you.'

'Uh, where should I sign?'

On the dotted line, Mrs. Schimelstone.

Tilly Schim, uh, uh..

Hey, nephew, how do you spell Schimelstone?

Schimelstone? Uh, uh, let's see.

Uh, S-C-H-M-O-S-I-I..

[gulps]

Shut up and sign it, you lunkhead.

You trying to queer this whole thing?

Oh, here you are, young man.

Thanks, lady, and here's your package.

My pleasure. Ta-ta, young man.

Nice, old lady, that Mrs. Schimelstone.

[chuckles]

Nice, old lady.

It worked, Fred. It worked.

[laughs] Of course, it did.

With Fred Flintstone as mastermind

anything will work.

- Now, let's get outta here. - Wait, wait.

Hold it, Mrs. Schimelstone. Just a moment, please.

'Oh, thank goodness I got here in time.'

'Grab a shot, photographer.'

click click click

'Another one. Quick.'

Get that expression of surprise on her face.

Hold it, hold it.

What do you think you're doin?

Who are you?

- 'I'm his nephew.' - His nephew?

(Fred) 'I mean his niece. Uh, her-her-her nephew.'

Well, I'm Daisy Kilgranite from the Bedrock Chronicle.

And we wanna get some pictures

of your poor aunt recovering her money.

- Pictures? - Pictures?

Uh, let's get out of here, Fred.

Yeah. Sorry, lady. No pictures.

- Fred, I-I lost my wig. - That ain't all you gonna lose.

'Look who's coming through the doorway.'

- Barney! - Fred!

screech

whoosh

(Wilma) 'Fred Flintstone, you come back here.'

vroom

Taxi! Taxi!

screech

Follow that wheelchair.

Gee, lady, uh, this is the first time

I ever followed a wheelchair. Hop in.

I knew it wouldn't work, Fred. Uh, why don't you just give up?

And let Wilma catch me in a lie? Nothin' doin'.

[blowing whistle]

vroom

[blowing whistle]

whoosh

[blows whistle]

Watch it, Fred.

There's a big trailer truck ahead.

(Fred) 'Hold tight, Barney.'

[honking]

Faster, driver. Don't let them get away.

Uh, don't worry, ma'am. I won't lose 'em.

They're catchin' up to us, Fred.

- It's no use. Let's give up. - Not on your life, Barney.

We'll beat 'em home, take that costume off

and deny everything.

crash

Gee, lady, uh, they ran right into the rock wall.

screech

- 'Fred.' - 'Barney.'

Say something, Fred. Speak to me.

[trumpet music]

[chuckles]

Beat you again, Stanley.

I got four queens.

Come on, Barney. Snap out of it.

Oh, hi, hi, hi, Betty, uh, what's goin' on?

That's what I want you to tell me when we get home.

Alright, Fred.

Start explaining. Where did you find this wallet?

'Or didn't you?'

Well, uh, not exactly.

Alright, Fred.

Where did the money come from?

Uh, money? Wh-what money?

That, uh, knock on the head must have given me

amnesia or something.

(Wilma) 'Fred, I want the truth. Who's money is it?'

Alright, you forced me out. I'll tell the truth.

'It's, uh..'

...it's Barney's.

Huh? Uh, what are you sayin', Fred?

Where did you get $200, Barney?

Well, you'll have to ask Fred.

He's the expert on financial matters.

Well, uh, yeah, he saved it up.

Penny by penny.

Walkin' to work instead of takin' the bus.

Doin' odd jobs.

And you know why?

- 'Why?' - Yeah, why?

He was gonna surprise you with it, Betty.

'Barney wanted to give you that money for your birthday'

'so you could buy anything you want.'

Oh, Barney, you angel.

Oh, you're the sweetest husband a girl ever had.

There's still one thing I don't understand.

Why were you keeping the money, Fred?

Uh, so, so Betty wouldn't find it

and-and, I had to tell you I found it

because Barney made me promise

I wouldn't tell a soul about him savin' it up, see?

Oh, Fred, I'm sorry I suspected anything.

Will you forgive me?

[chuckles] Of course, sweetheart.

Barney, let's go home, and I'll fix you a nice dinner

for being so sweet.

Oh, Barney

I'll, uh, take care of that money for you.

Why? Why should you take care of it?

Well, I've been doin' it for so long.

- I'm sort of in the habit. - Oh, don't be silly.

You keep it, Barney. It's yours.

Gee, thanks, Wilma.

[laughs]

Oh, boy. Two hundred bucks.

I've got a great idea.

Let's take that money and blow ourselves

to a real good time tonight.

And we'll take Wilma and Fred with us.

Hey, sounds like a great idea to me, honey.

How about it, Mr. and Mrs. Flintstone?

Would you care to help us blow 200 bucks?

- I'd love it. - But, but-but, but-but..

- But what, Fred? - But-but-but, no.

Happy birthday, Betty.

[giggling]

Oh, silly. It isn't my birthday yet.

So, what's the difference?

Everybody havin' a good time.

- I am. - Me too.

How 'bout you, Fred?

[mumbling]

(Wilma) 'Fred, what are you doing?'

I'm-I'm-I'm adding up to see what this evening

of merriment and frivolity is costing.

I don't see why it bothers you?

- It's Barney's money. - Sure, Fred.

[laughs]

If it was your money, I wouldn't worry about it.

Will you boys excuse us for a moment?

We girls want to freshen up a bit.

Of course, ladies.

And on the way, ask the orchestra leader

to play "Stone Dust."

I'll tip him big.

[both giggling]

Oh, I've never seen Barney spend money so freely before.

For cryin' out loud, Barney. Take it easy.

That's my money you're spendin'.

I know, Fred, but, uh, what can I do about it?

You want me to tell Wilma you won it playing cards?

No, no, no, no, no. Of course not.

You see, my hands are tied.

Hey, waiter, uh, more champagne.

Bring, uh, another six bottles.

Six more bottles?

There goes the rest of my 200.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

thud

Barney, what's wrong with Fred?

I think the last six bottles of champagne

were too much for him.

Come on, Fred. Snap out of it, boy.

Up on your feet. Up, boy. Up, up, up, up, up.

[theme music]

[yawning]

clink

thud

thud

slam

[rattling]

Wilma?

[pounding on door]

Wilma!

Come on, Wilma. Open this door.

Wilma!