All language subtitles for The Flintstones s03e16 The Kissing Burglar.eng

(Barney) 'Hey, wouldn't you swear that was Fred'

'running down the road?'

Barney, help me! Ow!

Hey, hey, Fred, this way!

(Betty) 'Yeah, Fred. Hop on.'

Come back here, you creep!

That was that Kissing Burglar's wife.

If the burglar's wife was outside your house

'the burglar must be close.'

That's right! Step on it, Barney!

Wilma's in danger!

[theme song]

[squawking]

Yabba dabba doo!

? Flintstones meet the Flintstones ?

? They're the modern Stone Age family ?

? From the town of Bedrock ?

? They're a page right out of history ?

? Let's ride with the family down the street ?

? Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet ?

? When you're with the Flintstones ?

? Have a yabba dabba doo time ?

? A dabba doo time ?

? We'll have a gay old time ??

[snoring]

[kissing]

[laughs]

Oh, Henry.

[laughs]

Huh? Wha-wha-wha..

...what's the matter? What's the matter?

Kiss me again, Henry.

Oh, go to sleep, Gladys.

You're havin' a nightmare.

Huh?

Didn't you just kiss me?

(Henry) 'Are you kiddin'?'

Well, someone did.

And there he goes!

(Gladys) 'He's getting away! Darn it.'

Hey! It's the Kissin' Burglar.

We've been robbed. Stop, thief!

(Henry) 'Come back, you crook!'

Anytime. Ha ha ha ha.

(Henry) 'Help! Police! He's gettin' away.'

Stop that thief!

Oh, no, you don't.

Stop him! Stop him!

Help! Thief!

(Henry) 'I caught him with the goods!'

crash

bang

Hey, pipe down, will you?

What's all the racket about?

It's the Kissin' Burglar.

Just robbed my house and kissed my wife too.

Need any help?

No, he did it all by himself.

He got away from me though.

(Henry) 'Well, I'm-I'm sorry to wake you.'

'Goodnight.'

[mumbling]

Sorry to wake me, he says.

Take me all night to get back to sleep.

[snoring]

Fred?

Fred, what was all that noise?

Nothing. Go back to sleep, Wilma.

That was the noisiest nothing I ever heard.

Oh, some guy down the street

got robbed by the Kissin' Burglar.

Goodnight, Wilma.

Goodnight, Fred.

The Kissing Burglar? In our neighborhood?

Oh, how thrilling.

Hold it, hold it.

(Fred) 'Where do you think you're goin'?'

To call Betty and tell her the good news.

At three o'clock in the morning?

Go back to bed!

I don't care if we're bein' invaded

by giant purple dinosaurs!

(Fred) 'The news can wait.'

'I gotta get some sleep.'

Goodnight.

(Wilma) 'Goodnight, Fred.'

[snoring]

Fred..

...I have something to tell you.

(Fred) 'Alright.'

'Say it, and then let me get back to sleep.'

Oh, it wasn't important, Fred. Forget it.

Oh, Wilma.

(Wilma) 'Well, if you must know'

I've been thinking about the Kissing Burglar.

You know, how romantic he is and what a gentleman--

Oh, sure he is.

He raises his hand and says, "May I?"

before he steals you blind.

What's wrong with you, Wilma?

[snoring]

(Wilma) 'I don't know, Fred.'

'The whole idea is so charming.'

He always leaves a rose..

...kisses the lady.

They say he has a mustache that tickles.

[snores]

So it's worth bein' robbed for a few laughs?

Are you nuts, Wilma? The guy's a crook, remember?

[snoring]

I know I'm being silly.

But I just had to tell you what I was thinking.

Goodnight, Fred.

Goodnight.

So that's what you've been thinkin', huh?

Fred, it's late.

Try to get some sleep.

(Fred) 'Well, you started this.'

Pleasant dreams, Fred.

Oh, swell. You lie there and tell me you can't get

the romantic Kissing Burglar out of your mind..

'...and then you just fall asleep'

and expect me to forget it.

Well, I wanna say this, Wilma. I..

Wilma, wake up and finish the argument!

Oh, why can't someone invent something

for us guys to marry besides women?

Which brings us to Friday

when he worked his way down Bedrock Boulevard.

Bedrock Boulevard. Hmm.

(Betty) 'And last night he hit Rocky Way.'

Rocky Way.

(Betty) 'And that brings us right up to date.'

Ok, Needles. You can go now.

What am I supposed to do for a winter coat this year?

Buy mink?

There's no doubt about it, Betty.

According to his pattern

Cobblestone Lane is next.

You're right, Wilma.

He's working straight as an arrow.

And it's pointed straight at us.

Don't worry, girls. We will protect you.

Uh, tell 'em what we'll do to that burglar

if we catch him, Fred.

[snores] Huh?

Oh, oh. Kiss him.

Huh?

Gee, Wilma. I'd love to see him in person.

So would I, Betty.

But there's not much chance of that.

What would he steal?

You have a point there.

Fred and Barney haven't exactly showered us

'with expensive presents, have they?'

(Wilma) 'Oh, I don't know.'

'Fred gave me a ring yesterday.'

(Betty) 'He did?'

(Wilma) 'Mm-hmm.'

- 'He called me on the phone.' - 'Aww.'

[laughter]

[mocking Barney] Very funny, very funny.

First you keep me awake all night

talkin' about that Kissin' Burglar

and now you say I never gave you anything

good enough to steal.

Oh, Fred, we were only kidding.

Yeah, calm down, Fred.

Well, I'm not. What about this?

Oh, hold onto it, Fred. I'll kill it for you!

thud

What is it, for heaven's sakes?

Oh, that was my ninth anniversary present.

Yeah, yeah. But what is it?

It's a genuine Alaskan tibbar stole

that's what it is.

Alaskan tibbar?

That's "rabbit" spelled backwards.

Shall we change the subject, Fred?

How 'bout a nice snack in the kitchen?

I don't want no snack.

Boy, this must be serious.

Fred refusin' to eat!

Shee!

(Wilma) 'Come on, Betty.'

'I'll make you a sandwich.'

I never see you wearin' this fur, Wilma.

(Fred) 'Why don't you ever wear it?'

You don't really want me to answer that, do you?

Well, now, how can you say

I never gave you an expensive present

when I gave you this?

Expensive? That cheap thing?

(Fred) 'It was not cheap. I spent $9.'

(Wilma) You shouldn't have reminded me, Fred.'

$9 for nine years of washing your clothes

cooking your meals, ironing your shirts

'polishing your bowling ball, raising your children.'

Hey, uh, you don't have any children.

Well, what do you expect for $1 a year?

How do you like that? Another comedienne.

Yeah, yeah, women used to be happy makin' beds.

Now they gotta make jokes.

(Fred) 'Come on, Barney. Let's go.'

- Where are you going? - 'Out for a walk.'

(Fred) 'I wanna be alone with Barney.'

(Wilma) 'Wait a minute. Here's your snack.'

Oh, yeah. Thanks.

Honestly, Fred.

We were just having a little fun.

Wilma, when we got married

I promised to take you for better or worse.

No one said anything about fun.

(Fred) 'Come on, Barney.'

Boy, are they acting childish?

Yeah.

Do you ever get the feeling

we're robbing the cradle?

Like mother always said..

...men will be boys.

[both laughing]

Some women are never satisfied.

She wanted a fur, so I gave her one.

Marked down a little, but in good condition.

Well, Wilma don't think so.

She don't even think a burglar would steal it.

Shows how much she knows.

Any good burglar would jump at a chance to steal that stole.

Whoa, then she'd be sorry, huh, Fred?

Barney, that's it!

[muffled] Well, uh, what's it, Fred?

Wilma's dyin' to meet the Kissin' Burglar, right?

Right.

So I'll disguise myself as him

and show her that meetin' a robber face to face'

is no romantic adventure.

Well, I don't know, Fred.

If Wilma don't act like you think she oughta

you're gonna get mad.

Barney, I know my Wilma. She'll scream for help.

I'll jump out of the window, tear off the disguise

'and run back in to rescue her.'

Um, I don't know, Fred.

(Fred) 'It's a perfect plan.'

'Come on, Wilma learns a lesson.'

And I've heard the last

of the romantic Kissing Burglar.

Gee, uh, I don't know, Fred.

Romantic Kissin' Burglar, huh?

You're a creepy headline grabber.

And it's gonna stop right now.

Do I make myself clear?

[sniffs]

Quite clear, my dear, but--

(female 1) 'Uh, shut up.'

Look at them bills, buster.

Roses ain't cheap, you know.

I realize that, my pet--

(female 1) 'Shut up!'

Why did I have to get hitched up

with a kissin' creep who gives away roses, yet?

I could have married Sammy the safecracker..

...or Freddie the finch, or Pete the pickpocket.

'Good, honest crooks.'

[sniffing]

- But, angel-- - 'Oh, shut up.'

'From now on, you use the good old-fashioned methods.'

'Pure and simple robbery.'

'No roses and no kissin'.'

I gotta go out now.

And get rid of the flowers!

(Kissing Burglar) 'Yes, dear, if you insist.'

Goodbye.

slam

Sometimes I wonder why I love her so.

Honestly, Betty. I can't afford these prices.

I know what you mean.

Wouldn't it be nice if our husbands were rich

instead of, uh..

...instead of--

Handsome?

[both laughing]

Oh, well. Fred says someday he will be rich

and then he'll shower me with diamonds and furs.

Well, if he does, you better pick them out.

I've seen his taste in fur.

Well, he means well.

And it never hurts to dream.

Uh-uh. I can see the story in the paper now.

(Betty) 'Fred Flintstone, who has just inherited $1 million'

'is showering his wife, Wilma'

'with a large collection of priceless diamonds and furs.'

Fred Flintstone. Flintstone.

I'll find the address in the phone book

and that no-good husband of mine is gonna do it my way.

The caper's tonight.

You got it, Sam?

Oh, uh, sure, Fred, but it's not Sam.

It's me. Your pal, Barney.

Oh! Oh! I get it. The plan.

Uh, everything's straight, Nate.

I get you out of the house with a phone call.

Then I take Betty to a movie

so Wilma will be all alone.

Check. I change into my disguise at your house--

Who are you talking to, Fred?

(Fred) 'And, uh, no thanks, Barney.'

Wilma and I don't wanna go to the movies tonight.

We're, uh, gonna spend a nice, quiet evening at home.

[blows a kiss]

Well, cheerio, my love.

I'm off to work now.

(female 1) 'Hold it.'

Here's where I want you to work tonight.

323 Cobblestone Lane.

Some guy named Fred Flintstone just struck it rich.

Yes, yes.

And remember, no kissin'

and no..

[sniffing]

What's that I smell?

Nothing but your own sweet fragrance, my buttercup.

Okay, wise guy, hand it over.

Uh, b-but pet, it's my last.

I promise.

One for the road, you might say.

(female 1) 'Right now.'

Yes, dear.

And this will be your neck

if I find lipstick on you tonight.

Now, get out there and steal like a man.

Yes, my sweet.

I don't trust that creep.

I'm gonna follow him and see if he obeys orders.

[typewriter keys clacking]

Nothing like a nice, quiet evening at home

huh, Wilma?

- 'Mm-hmm.' - What are you doing?

- Typing some letters. - 'Oh.'

[dings] 'Was that the phone?'

No, Fred. That was the typewriter bell.

I-I-I thought I heard the phone.

(Wilma) 'My, you're nervous. Are you expecting a call?'

No. Well, why do you say that?

[telephone rings] I'll get it. I'll get it.

It's for me.

[panting]

Saved by the bell. I'm bushed.

Hello, Barn.. Oh, Joe, Joe Rockhead.

What? I have to come down to the lodge tonight, Joe?

But Wilma and I were, uh..

Well, alright. If it's that important.

Yeah, I'll be right there.

Hey, guess who just called.

Joe Rockhead. And he wants you to go down to the lodge.

- Bye, Fred. - Joe Rockhead.

He wants me to go down to.. Oh, oh, you heard, eh?

I don't like to leave you alone, Wilma.

Dangerous criminals are running around.

'Don't be silly, Fred.'

'You run along. I'll be alright.'

Wilma, you're a brave girl. Goodbye.

Now what's he up to?

Gladys and Joe Rockhead left for their vacation two days ago.

[telephone ringing]

That's the phone again.

Don't go away, Punchie. I'll be right back.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure, sure.

Hello?

(Betty) 'Wilma?'

'Something funny's going on'

'between Barney and Fred.'

Yes, I noticed.

Barney insisted I go to the movies tonight.

And when we left, I looked back

and I saw Fred sneaking into our house

carrying some clothes and a rose.

A rose, huh?

And he made very sure I was alone tonight.

Sounds like he's on one of his

somebody's-got-to-be- taught-a-lesson kicks.

'What are you going to do?'

Let somebody be taught a lesson and you know who.

[laughing]

I'll make an excuse to Barney and get right back.

I don't wanna miss this.

[instrumental music]

Boy, will I teach Wilma a lesson

she'll never forget.

[door opens]

[British accent] 'Uh, pardon me, madam.'

Please, don't move.

- Who's there? - Don't scream.

I won't harm you if you cooperate.

What do you want?

'Your valuables, my dear.'

'And perhaps, uh, a little kiss.'

'Heh. Ha ha ha!'

Ohh, then you must be

the romantic Kissing Burglar.

Quite right.

I am he, but don't be alarmed.

'Oh, I'm not.'

'I had a feeling you would come here tonight.'

I hate to disappoint you, big boy

but I don't have any valuables

just little old me.

Oh, but surely a beautiful lady like you

must have a generous husband.

Uh...a fur, perhaps?

- My husband's a cheapskate. - He is not!

Uh, I mean, is that so?

But you're just as handsome as I thought you'd be.

Don't scream. It won't help you.

Who's screaming? I've been dying to meet you.

Enough of this small talk.

Your valuables, instantly.

Okay, but it's a waste of time.

This is it. Instant valuables.

What do you think of it?

Aha! I knew it.

This is beautiful! Exquisite.

And obviously worth more than your husband paid for it.

So wear it in good health.

It's too, too beautiful, madam.

I can't, uh, can't

deprive you of this priceless possession.

Sure you can. Try.

I don't know what to say.

Say goodbye and give me my rose.

'Uh...yes.'

[clears throat]

Au revoir, my dear.

Um, aren't you forgetting something?

Forgetting something, madam?

Mmm.

[kissing]

You don't want to kiss

a perfect stranger, do you?

Don't mind if I do.

[kissing]

Why, that two-timing creep.

I warned him.

You're the most perfect stranger I ever met.

(Fred) 'Help!'

Come back here, you creepy crook.

I warned you. Now you're gonna get it.

bang

Huh? Hey, what's going on?

bang

Gee, Betty, I don't know why

you wouldn't stay to see the movie.

Because I'd rather watch the late show at home.

Well, Fred's not gonna like it.

I mean, uh

sure you won't change your mind?

Positive, and hurry, Barney.

I don't wanna miss anything.

[laughing] Oh, poor Fred.

I'll never forget the look on his face.

Oh, but he's so sweet.

[door opens]

(Kissing Burglar) 'Uh, pardon me, madam.'

'Please don't move.'

Oh, honestly, not again.

Don't scream.

I won't hurt you if you cooperate.

Well, what do you want?

Your valuables, my dear.

Oh, you forgot to say, "Perhaps a little kiss."

[giggles]

I beg your pardon?

'Okay, Fred, the game's over.'

Now, take off that get-up and act your age.

[gasps] You're not Fred!

'Well, no. Actually, I'm--'

The Kissing Burglar for real.

Help! Fred, help! No!

No, no. No, stop it. Please, stop it.

Help, Fred!

[screaming]

Oh! I can't stand loud voices.

Nerves all shot. My wife, you know.

Oh, I'm sorry. I won't scream anymore.

Oh, thank you.

That's awfully sporting of you, madam.

'Don't know what got into me.'

'First time I ever went to pieces on the job.'

You've probably been working too hard.

Here, lie down on the couch and rest a while.

'Thank you, madam.'

Unprofessional of me, though.

Bad show and all that.

My analyst warned me

said it could happen anytime.

You poor man.

Why not tell me about it?

'How did you come to this life of crime?'

Well, it all started when I was a little chap

not more than four, I should say.

Uh, Barney, don't you think we should stop in

and make sure Wilma's okay?

Uh, how come?

Well, with that burglar running around

and Fred down at the lodge--

Oh-oh, Fred's not at the lodge. I mean--

Uh-huh. Where is he tonight, Barney?

Well, I'm no tattletale.

You mean you won't tell me, your own wife

that Fred was dressing up as the Kissing Burglar

to teach Wilma a lesson?

'Well, in that case I won't tell you'

that Wilma knows all about it

and is probably laughing at him right now.

Oh, I don't know about that.

Fred may have convinced her.

He's a pretty good actor, you know.

Barney, look.

(Barney) 'Wouldn't you swear that was Fred running down the road?'

(Fred) Barney, help me! Ow!

Barney, it is Fred. Let's help him.

Okay, Betty. Hey, Fred, this way!

(Betty) 'Yeah, Fred. Hop on.'

Come back here, you creep.

Thanks, Barney.

Don't mention it, Fred.

That was that Kissing Burglar's wife.

Oh, Fred.

If the burglar's wife was outside your house

the burglar must be somewhere close.

Hey, that's right. Step on it, Barney.

Wilma's in danger!

Well, doctor..

Uh, Mrs. Flintstone, what do you think?

No doubt about it.

You need a good, long rest

in a nice, quiet cell

with no one to bother you.

Oh, I say, that sounds wonderful.

Could you possibly arrange it?

Sure. I'll call the police right now if you like.

Oh, please do. You're very kind, dear lady.

Barney, can't you go any faster?

Only if I use my auxiliary motor, Fred.

- 'Well, use it!' - Okay, Fred.

Ah, delightful.

Really, Mrs. Flintstone

if there's anything I can do to show my appreciation.

[car tires screeching]

Hold on.

There may be. It's my husband.

Help me put on an act to make him jealous.

Put on your mask.

'It would be a pleasure, my dear.'

(Wilma) 'Oh! Oh, Kissing Burglar!'

'You're back. Oh! Oh!'

He's in there.

Hold on, Wilma. I'll save you!

[shatters]

(Fred) 'Unhand that woman, you creepy crook.'

He must know my wife.

[laughing]

Okay, burglar, you asked for it.

Oh, go away, Fred.

Alright, you guys. Break it up.

[gasps]

- Hey, there's two of them. - 'This is the guy we want.'

I'd know that sneaky look anywhere.

You see, Betty?

I told you Fred was a good actor.

Alright, buster.

Down to the hoosegow with you.

Hey, wait a minute! I'm not the Kissing Burglar.

Tell 'em, Wilma.

Well, lady? How about it?

Goodness, I'm all confused.

He told me he was the Kissing Burglar.

(Fred) 'Wilma!'

Okay, bub. Come along.

Wait a minute. Barney, tell him the plan.

Plan? Oh, yeah. Sure, Fred.

Well, you see, officers

he put his Kissing Burglar disguise on

over at my place, and then when Wilma here..

Oh, that's Mrs. Flintstone, was alone--

(Fred) 'Oh, boy.'

Now, just one moment, gentlemen.

This fellow is obviously an impostor.

I'm the chap you want.

Alright, alright. I don't care who it is

but one of you has got to come along with me.

Arrivederci, my dear lady.

Au revoir. Do svidania.

Hasta la vista, tally ho

and all that sort of thing.

It's been simply delightful.

Oh! Heh heh heh!

I do hope you can arrange a cell

with southern exposure.

On the second floor if possible.

I'll need absolute quiet, you know.

Well, I'm glad that's over.

Oh, Wilma, what an adventure.

Thank goodness you're safe.

You sure acted brave, Wilma. Heh.

Aren't you happy I'm safe, Fred?

'Yeah, sure.'

I'm happy that you and that creepy burglar

got to be such good friends.

I'm hysterical.

Well, someone had to teach you a lesson

about teaching other people a lesson.

'Oh, heh heh heh. That.'

Shame on you, Fred

dressing up in this outfit and scaring me half to death.

I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm a heel.

Hmm! That's alright, Fred. I forgive you.

Come on, Barney, let's go home.

Everything's back to normal.

Yep. Tomorrow's another day.

[laughing]

What a night.

(Fred) 'Yeah.'

'Goodnight, Wilma.'

[sighs]

What are you doing with that rose?

'Saving it as a memento, Fred.'

- Goodnight, dear. - 'Goodnight.'

[snoring]

Memento of what?

'My adventure tonight.'

'Now, get some sleep, Fred.'

Yeah. Okay.

[continues snoring]

[dramatic music]

I was the one who gave you that rose, you know!

I know.

- 'Wilma, are you sure?' - Sure of what?

That you knew it was me all along?

Yes, dear.

[kissing]

Now go to sleep.

Wilma, that's not how you kissed me

when you thought I was the Kissing Burglar.

Oh, honestly, Fred. Go to sleep.

Wilma, once and for all

did you or did you not know it was me

when you kissed me?

Really, Fred?

Would I kiss a perfect stranger?

I don't know.

I just don't know.

[theme song]

? Flintstones meet the Flintstones ?

? They're the modern Stone Age family ?

? From the town of Bedrock ?

? They're a page right out of history ?

? Someday maybe Fred will win the fight ?

? Then that cat will stay out for the night ?

? When you're with the Flintstones ?

? Have a yabba dabba doo time ?

? A dabba doo time ?

? We'll have a gay old time ?

? We'll have a gay old time ??

Wilma!

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