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1
00:00:06,277 --> 00:00:10,141
♪ SOMETHING'S WRONG
'CAUSE MY MIND IS FADING ♪
2
00:00:10,141 --> 00:00:14,215
♪ AND EVERYWHERE I LOOK
THERE'S A DEAD END WAITING ♪
3
00:00:14,215 --> 00:00:18,249
♪ TEMPERATURE'S DROPPING
AT THE ROTTEN OASIS ♪
4
00:00:18,249 --> 00:00:21,622
♪ STEALING KISSES
FROM THE LEPEROUS FACES ♪
5
00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:26,657
♪ GOT A DEVIL'S HAIRCUT
IN MY MIND... ♪
6
00:00:26,657 --> 00:00:27,358
BUT WE HAVE TO--
7
00:00:27,358 --> 00:00:30,161
HEY, TIGER.
WHAT GETS YOU UP EARLY?
8
00:00:30,161 --> 00:00:32,703
UM, YEAH, I JUST--
I GOT THIS MEETING, SO--
9
00:00:32,703 --> 00:00:34,034
GREAT.
10
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,366
I--
OH.
11
00:00:35,366 --> 00:00:37,408
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BUDDY.
12
00:00:38,369 --> 00:00:41,041
ALL RIGHT.
I'M GOING TO EAT
SOME BREAKFAST.
13
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,443
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
14
00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:44,075
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
15
00:00:44,075 --> 00:00:45,676
OH.
OH.
16
00:00:45,676 --> 00:00:46,217
MM.
17
00:00:46,217 --> 00:00:49,350
I WANT YOU TO HAVE
A WONDERFUL DAY,
18
00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:50,721
NO MATTER
WHAT HAPPENS.
19
00:00:50,721 --> 00:00:53,684
OK. MOM.
ALL RIGHT.
20
00:00:53,684 --> 00:00:55,626
GOOD.
OK.
21
00:00:57,688 --> 00:00:59,460
Man on radio: A 9-YEAR-OLD
METRO GIRL HAS A...
22
00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:01,592
HEY, THE ZOMBIE'S
UP BEFORE NOON.
23
00:01:01,592 --> 00:01:02,433
HEY, YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
24
00:01:02,433 --> 00:01:05,065
KYLE, DID YOU
WISH YOUR BROTHER
A HAPPY BIRTHDAY?
25
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:06,837
THE GUY'S 21,
LIVES WITH HIS PARENTS,
26
00:01:06,837 --> 00:01:07,738
AND WEARS AN APRON
FOR A LIVING.
27
00:01:07,738 --> 00:01:09,470
THERE'S NO HAPPY
IN THAT BIRTHDAY, DAD.
28
00:01:09,470 --> 00:01:10,471
Woman: DON'T TEASE
YOUR BROTHER.
29
00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:12,143
Man on radio: ...FIRE
BROKE OUT LAST NIGHT,
30
00:01:12,143 --> 00:01:14,645
KILLING A FAMILY OF 4
IN DELRIDGE.
31
00:01:14,645 --> 00:01:16,747
WITH 4 SUSPICIOUS BLAZES
IN A WEEK,
32
00:01:16,747 --> 00:01:19,450
ARSON IS AGAIN SUSPECTED.
33
00:01:21,782 --> 00:01:26,517
HEY, UH, WAS THAT
AN ENVELOPE FROM STANFORD
I SAW YESTERDAY?
34
00:01:26,517 --> 00:01:28,719
YOU HEARD FROM STANFORD?
35
00:01:30,121 --> 00:01:30,761
IT WAS A REJECTION LETTER.
36
00:01:30,761 --> 00:01:32,463
OH...
Man: KYLE, HOW IS
THAT POSSIBLE?
37
00:01:32,463 --> 00:01:34,165
Kyle: SAM DIDN'T EVEN
GO TO COLLEGE.
38
00:01:34,165 --> 00:01:35,296
YES, HE DID, KYLE.
FOR A MONTH!
39
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:37,128
AND WE'RE VERY PROUD
OF HIM FOR TRYING.
40
00:01:37,128 --> 00:01:39,270
IT'S JUST
THAT COLLEGE
MADE HIM SLEEPY.
41
00:01:39,270 --> 00:01:41,202
MORNING, MRS. O, MR. O.
42
00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:43,134
BIRTHDAY BOY.
MWAH!
43
00:01:43,134 --> 00:01:45,136
HEY, KYLE, GUESS WHAT?
DON'T SWEAT
STANFORD, MAN.
44
00:01:45,136 --> 00:01:48,379
HEARD IT'S ONLY
THE FOURTH BEST
UNIVERSITY IN THE U.S.?
45
00:01:48,379 --> 00:01:49,440
IS THAT RIGHT?
46
00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:50,311
YOU SUCK.
47
00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:53,644
[SNAPS]
HEY, NO SHAME IN
COMMUNITY COLLEGE,
K-FED.
48
00:01:53,644 --> 00:01:54,645
I ALMOST WENT.
49
00:01:54,645 --> 00:01:57,288
SO, BIG BIRTHDAY
PLANS, BOYS?
50
00:01:57,288 --> 00:01:58,749
OH, NOTHING TOO CRAZY.
51
00:01:58,749 --> 00:01:59,850
OH, COME ON, SAM.
52
00:01:59,850 --> 00:02:03,394
YOU GOT TO GO OUT THERE
AND CUT LOOSE.
53
00:02:03,394 --> 00:02:05,125
YOU'RE ONLY THIS AGE ONCE.
COME ON.
54
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,197
I LIKE
YOUR THINKING, DAD.
55
00:02:06,197 --> 00:02:06,827
I SAY WE ALL
GET IN THE CAR,
56
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:09,860
GO GET SOME SMACK,
AND KILL A HOOKER
IN VEGAS.
57
00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:15,266
I--I MEAN--I MEANT
PATRONIZE A HOOKER
IN VEGAS.
58
00:02:15,266 --> 00:02:17,668
I WOULD NEVER KILL
A HOOKER IN VEGAS.
59
00:02:17,668 --> 00:02:18,669
I WOULD NEVER KILL
A HOOKER.
60
00:02:18,669 --> 00:02:20,371
DAD, WHAT THE HELL
IS GOING ON?
61
00:02:20,371 --> 00:02:22,413
UH--UH, NOTHING. NOTHING.
62
00:02:22,413 --> 00:02:26,647
YOU JUST HAVE
A GREAT DAY, SAM, OK?
A GREAT DAY.
63
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,319
WHAT WAS THAT?
64
00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:30,821
THINK THEY STILL
DO IT?
65
00:02:32,683 --> 00:02:34,325
YEAH, THEY DO IT.
66
00:02:34,325 --> 00:02:37,358
♪ HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! ♪
67
00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:40,431
♪ HEY, FELLA, LOOK UP... ♪
68
00:02:40,431 --> 00:02:41,562
ALL I'M SAYING
IS YOU BETTER PREPARE
69
00:02:41,562 --> 00:02:43,834
FOR A LITTLE ALCOHOL
POISONING TONIGHT,
ALL RIGHT?
70
00:02:43,834 --> 00:02:44,835
NOTHING HOSPITAL-GRADE,
MIND YOU.
71
00:02:44,835 --> 00:02:47,298
YOU BETTER WEAR SOME
PUKE-RESISTANT CLOTHING.
72
00:02:47,298 --> 00:02:48,899
WE ARE GETTING SILLY
TONIGHT, MY MAN.
73
00:02:48,899 --> 00:02:50,871
WE ARE GOING...
TO THE BRICKHOUSE,
74
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:52,803
WHERE WE ALWAYS GO.
75
00:02:52,803 --> 00:02:54,305
NO. WHY--NO.
76
00:02:54,305 --> 00:02:55,706
WHAT DO YOU THINK,
THAT'S ALL I WOULD
77
00:02:55,706 --> 00:02:57,448
PLAN FOR YOUR
BIG 2-1?
78
00:02:57,448 --> 00:02:59,850
NO. GOD.
UNLESS YOU WANT TO GO.
79
00:02:59,850 --> 00:03:01,181
THAT WAS WEIRD,
RIGHT?
80
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:01,712
WHAT?
MY PARENTS?
81
00:03:01,712 --> 00:03:04,355
OH, MOM AND DAD OLIVER?
THEY'RE ALWAYS WEIRD.
82
00:03:04,355 --> 00:03:05,456
MAYBE MY BROTHER
IS RIGHT.
83
00:03:05,456 --> 00:03:07,688
I DIDN'T EXACTLY
STICK IT OUT
IN COLLEGE.
84
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:08,859
'CAUSE IT
MADE YOU SLEEPY.
85
00:03:08,859 --> 00:03:10,821
WELL, YEAH,
THAT'S TRUE, BUT--
86
00:03:10,821 --> 00:03:11,862
I MEAN, WHAT DID I DO
WHEN I DROPPED OUT?
87
00:03:11,862 --> 00:03:14,795
I CAME RIGHT BACK HERE.
I'VE BEEN HERE
SINCE I WAS 16.
88
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:17,197
DO WE REALLY WANT TO BE
HERE IN 5 YEARS?
89
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:17,668
YES.
10?
90
00:03:17,668 --> 00:03:20,271
YES, BECAUSE
I AM GOING TO EVENTUALLY
91
00:03:20,271 --> 00:03:21,332
TURN THIS INTO
A TOPLESS WORK BENCH.
92
00:03:21,332 --> 00:03:24,605
WOULD YOU RATHER BUY
INSULATION FROM SOMEBODY
WEARING CLOTHES
93
00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:25,606
OR SOMEBODY
WEARING NO CLOTHES?
94
00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:28,709
IS THAT WEIRD?
'CAUSE I DON'T REALLY
THINK THAT'S WEIRD. WHAT?
95
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:29,810
[BARKING]
96
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,882
OH, JUMP,
[INDISTINCT].
97
00:03:31,882 --> 00:03:35,246
LOOK AT THIS DOG, MAN.
THIS IS THE BEST DOG EVER.
98
00:03:35,246 --> 00:03:36,647
MAYBE YOU WANT TO GET
OUT ON MY SIDE.
99
00:03:36,647 --> 00:03:38,849
NO, NO, NO.
HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
100
00:03:38,849 --> 00:03:41,622
[BARKING]
101
00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:43,294
[DOG WHIMPERING]
102
00:03:43,294 --> 00:03:45,696
[LAUGHS]
103
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:47,628
THAT WAS GOOD.
104
00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:49,700
YOU WANT TO KNOW
WHAT YOU CAN CHANGE?
NO.
105
00:03:49,700 --> 00:03:50,301
YES.
NO.
106
00:03:50,301 --> 00:03:51,902
YES. ASK ANDI OUT.
ASK HER OUT TONIGHT, MAN.
107
00:03:51,902 --> 00:03:53,904
SHE'S COMING OUT.
GET HER DRUNK.
ASK HER TO A MOVIE.
108
00:03:53,904 --> 00:03:55,906
THE WINDOW IS CLOSED.
WE'RE FRIENDS.
109
00:03:55,906 --> 00:03:56,907
SHE JUST WANTS
TO BE FRIENDS.
110
00:03:56,907 --> 00:03:58,839
HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT?
YOU NEVER EVEN TRIED.
111
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:00,641
YEAH, I DID, BUT THEN
HER DAD DIES.
112
00:04:00,641 --> 00:04:03,013
SO? I MEAN--ALL RIGHT,
YEAH, THAT'S SAD,
BUT SO WHAT?
113
00:04:03,013 --> 00:04:06,417
YOU DON'T DO THAT.
YOU DON'T JUMP IN AFTER
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
114
00:04:06,417 --> 00:04:06,917
YOU LOOK LIKE A DICK.
115
00:04:06,917 --> 00:04:09,520
THAT WAS 2 YEARS AGO, MAN.
SHE GOT OVER IT.
116
00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:11,482
SHE DIGS YOU, ALL RIGHT?
117
00:04:11,482 --> 00:04:12,583
LOOKIT--SHE'S SMART,
SHE'S HOT,
118
00:04:12,583 --> 00:04:15,255
SHE GOES TO COLLEGE,
SHE WORKS AT
A CRAP SHACK LIKE THIS
119
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:15,886
WITH LOSERS
LIKE ME AND YOU.
120
00:04:15,886 --> 00:04:17,888
WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU?
JUST OFF THE TOP
OF YOUR HEAD.
121
00:04:17,888 --> 00:04:19,530
SHE'S GOT LOW STANDARDS?
EXACTLY.
122
00:04:19,530 --> 00:04:21,992
USE THAT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE
BEFORE SHE FIGURES IT OUT,
ALL RIGHT?
123
00:04:21,992 --> 00:04:24,565
'CAUSE SHE WILL.
I'M TELLING YOU.
124
00:04:27,898 --> 00:04:31,702
[SIGHING]
125
00:04:39,710 --> 00:04:40,681
Man: COMPLAINTS ABOUT
THE BATHROOMS.
126
00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:44,655
MAY I REMIND YOU THAT
THEY ARE SEPARATED BY GENDER
FOR A REASON.
127
00:04:44,655 --> 00:04:48,489
IN THE WOMEN'S WASHROOM,
SOMEBODY LEFT
A MASSIVE--
128
00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:50,591
MR. OLIVER.
MR. WYSOCKI.
129
00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:54,695
NICE OF YOU TO JOIN US.
ONLY 15 MINUTES LATE
THIS TIME.
130
00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:55,796
WE ARE SO HONORED.
131
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:58,969
HEY, OLIVER.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
132
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:00,801
HEY, THANK YOU.
133
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:01,932
YEAH. YOU WON'T BE
THANKING ME TONIGHT
134
00:05:01,932 --> 00:05:05,876
WHEN I'M HAZING YOU
LIKE A SORORITY CHICK
AT YOUR SHINDIG.
135
00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:07,307
CAN YOU TWO ZIP IT?
136
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,541
I'M TRYING TO HEAR TED'S
IMPORTANT LECTURE.
137
00:05:10,541 --> 00:05:14,685
AS YOU CAN SEE,
MOST OF US ARE DOING GREAT
IN THE SALES CONTEST,
138
00:05:14,685 --> 00:05:19,089
EXCEPT FOR A SELECT FEW
WHO THINK THEIR TIME
IS BETTER SPENT
139
00:05:19,089 --> 00:05:20,521
CONSTRUCTING BEER BONGS.
140
00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:23,594
OH, IF YOU ARE REFERRING
TO ME, TED THE HEAD,
141
00:05:23,594 --> 00:05:25,325
I'M BIDING MY TIME, OK?
142
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:28,499
LIKE A SNAKE
IN THE GRASS
READY TO POUNCE.
143
00:05:28,499 --> 00:05:30,601
DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE,
WHAT YOU JUST SAID.
144
00:05:30,601 --> 00:05:32,733
AND DON'T FORGET
THAT THE WINNER RECEIVES
145
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:35,466
A FREE 20-POUND
SPIRAL CUT HAM.
146
00:05:35,466 --> 00:05:36,437
Wysocki: I'M JEWISH,
YOU JERK.
147
00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:41,942
OR GIFT CERTIFICATE
FOR OUR SEMITIC
AND/OR MUSLIM FRIENDS.
148
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,744
SO, GO GET 'EM.
149
00:05:48,619 --> 00:05:50,981
HEY, I GOT YOU
A PRESENT.
150
00:05:50,981 --> 00:05:53,884
ANDI, YOU DIDN'T
HAVE TO DO THAT.
151
00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:55,956
HEY, DON'T OPEN IT
IN FRONT OF ME, OK?
152
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:59,129
IT GIVES ME THIS, LIKE,
GIFT GIVING ANXIETY.
153
00:05:59,129 --> 00:06:00,861
OH. FINE.
154
00:06:01,632 --> 00:06:03,363
I HOPE YOUR DAY OFF
IS TOMORROW, BECAUSE
155
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,365
YOU'RE GOING TO BE HURTING.
156
00:06:05,796 --> 00:06:11,702
UH, NO. NO.
MY DAY OFF IS SATURDAY.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
157
00:06:11,702 --> 00:06:14,104
ACTUALLY, MY DAY OFF
IS SATURDAY, TOO.
158
00:06:14,104 --> 00:06:16,947
DO YOU--DO YOU HAVE ANY
PLANS ON SATURDAY?
159
00:06:16,947 --> 00:06:19,079
YOUR--YOUR DAY OFF?
160
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:20,751
I'M GOING TO BE
SITTING IN THE LIBRARY
161
00:06:20,751 --> 00:06:23,654
WRITING A HUGE PSYCH PAPER,
BEING LAME.
162
00:06:23,914 --> 00:06:27,588
RIGHT. NO, YEAH.
I'VE GOT PLANS ALSO.
163
00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:31,922
SLEEPING. WAKING UP
GETTING DRESSED.
164
00:06:31,922 --> 00:06:36,026
XBOX.
I NEED YOU TO PUNCH ME
IN THE FACE RIGHT NOW.
165
00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:39,930
[BEEPING]
166
00:06:46,677 --> 00:06:49,079
[GROWLING]
167
00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:53,143
WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING?
168
00:06:53,143 --> 00:06:53,844
I--I WAS--
169
00:06:53,844 --> 00:06:55,746
WE DON'T PAY YOU
TO WATCH TELEVISION, SAM,
170
00:06:55,746 --> 00:06:58,549
AND YOUR
NAME TAG'S CROOKED.
171
00:06:59,189 --> 00:07:01,191
THIS ATTITUDE THING,
IT'S GOT TO STOP, OK?
172
00:07:01,191 --> 00:07:03,954
RIGHT.
THIS SALES CONTEST
FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU, BUD.
173
00:07:03,954 --> 00:07:07,097
ALL RIGHT?
IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT HAM.
174
00:07:07,097 --> 00:07:08,799
IT'S ABOUT SELF-RESPECT.
175
00:07:08,799 --> 00:07:12,032
YOU CAN'T JUST
KEEP SKATEBOARDING
THROUGH LIFE ANYMORE.
176
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:12,733
MM-HMM.
ALL RIGHT?
177
00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:15,466
THIS IS NOT GOING TO
CUT IT HERE AT THE BENCH.
178
00:07:15,666 --> 00:07:21,512
OK? YOU ARE
ON NOTICE, SAM.
179
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,948
HEY. WHAT WAS THAT?
180
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,149
TED SAYS
I'M ON NOTICE.
181
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:31,151
SO WHAT?
I LIVE ON NOTICE.
182
00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:31,982
WHAT'D YOU DO?
183
00:07:31,982 --> 00:07:34,755
I DON'T KNOW.
JUST WATCHING
THIS SHOW.
184
00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:35,956
IT WAS REALLY SCARY.
185
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,488
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
186
00:07:37,488 --> 00:07:39,960
YEAH, YEAH, THOSE
THINGS'LL KILL YA.
187
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:44,234
[WHIRRING]
188
00:07:48,599 --> 00:07:50,070
AAH!
189
00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:57,077
HOLY CROW.
OH, MY--DID--
DID ANYBODY SEE THAT?
190
00:07:57,548 --> 00:07:59,009
DID ANYBODY SEE THAT?
191
00:07:59,009 --> 00:08:01,852
CAN I GET A--WILL SOMEBODY
SAY SOMETHING?
192
00:08:01,852 --> 00:08:05,255
OH, MY GOD.
THAT WAS WICKED, MAN.
193
00:08:05,255 --> 00:08:07,558
IT'S LIKE THIS THING
WHERE A BABY GETS STUCK
194
00:08:07,558 --> 00:08:08,519
UNDER A CAR OR A BUS
OR WHATEVER.
195
00:08:08,519 --> 00:08:09,990
THE MOM GETS
ALL PUMPED UP
WITH ADRENALINE
196
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,021
AND LIFTS IT UP
OVER HER HEAD.
197
00:08:11,021 --> 00:08:13,163
YOU BRUCE BANNERED
THAT THING, MAN.
198
00:08:13,163 --> 00:08:14,164
I DIDN'T TOUCH IT.
199
00:08:14,164 --> 00:08:16,166
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I DIDN'T TOUCH IT.
200
00:08:16,166 --> 00:08:17,868
IT WAS TOO FAR AWAY.
I SAW YOU--
201
00:08:17,868 --> 00:08:18,599
NO, IT WAS TOO FAR AWAY.
202
00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:20,771
IT'S LIKE I MOVED IT
WITH MY MIND OR SOMETHING.
203
00:08:20,771 --> 00:08:23,503
AND THAT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME
THIS HAS HAPPENED TODAY.
204
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:26,807
SOMETHING IS REALLY--AAH!
WHAT THE HELL, MAN?
205
00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:29,710
YOU WERE SUPPOSED
TO MOVE THAT
WITH YOUR MIND.
206
00:08:39,189 --> 00:08:42,192
OH, MY GOD.
SAM, IS THIS
BECAUSE OF ME?
207
00:08:42,192 --> 00:08:46,857
UH--UM...THIS IS
BECAUSE OF SOCK.
208
00:08:48,098 --> 00:08:51,061
WELL, YOU SAVED MY LIFE.
YOU KNOW THAT.
209
00:08:51,061 --> 00:08:55,035
I MEAN,
YOU'RE LIKE BATMAN.
210
00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:58,809
NO. NO, I'M DEFINITELY
NOT BATMAN.
211
00:08:58,809 --> 00:08:59,870
I--I JUST THINK IT WAS
212
00:08:59,870 --> 00:09:02,913
ONE OF THOSE WEIRD
ADRENALINE CAR MOM THINGS.
213
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,576
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS.
214
00:09:05,576 --> 00:09:06,176
YEAH. NEITHER DO I.
215
00:09:06,176 --> 00:09:11,221
OK. WELL, IT WAS REALLY
BRAVE, SO THANK YOU.
216
00:09:11,221 --> 00:09:13,584
YEAH. I...
217
00:09:14,925 --> 00:09:16,627
UM...LISTEN, ANDI,
218
00:09:16,627 --> 00:09:18,689
LOOK, I KNOW YOU'RE
BUSY ON SATURDAY,
219
00:09:18,689 --> 00:09:22,092
BUT I WAS JUST THINKING
MAYBE YOU COULD--
220
00:09:22,933 --> 00:09:27,968
IT--IT WAS A BAD IDEA.
I'M--[LAUGHS]
WH--WHAT? WHAT?
221
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:30,570
[GROWLING]
222
00:09:40,110 --> 00:09:42,983
ANDI, GO.
223
00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:44,354
OK.
224
00:09:45,215 --> 00:09:46,757
[GROWLING]
225
00:09:46,757 --> 00:09:53,063
NICE DOGGIES.
GOOD, GOOD DOGGIES.
AREN'T YOU?
226
00:09:53,063 --> 00:09:54,224
[BARKING]
227
00:09:54,224 --> 00:09:55,325
AAH!
228
00:09:55,325 --> 00:09:56,927
[BARKING]
229
00:09:56,927 --> 00:10:00,230
WHOOOAAA!
230
00:10:00,230 --> 00:10:02,032
SOCK! SOCK! HELP! HELP!
231
00:10:02,032 --> 00:10:05,275
HELP! SOCK! SOCK! BUDDY!
232
00:10:07,137 --> 00:10:08,909
[WHIRRING]
UHH!
233
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:11,642
[LAUGHING]
234
00:10:11,642 --> 00:10:15,846
RUN, BITCHES!
RUN! HA HA HA HA!
235
00:10:15,846 --> 00:10:17,948
RUN, YOU BEASTLY
MANGE HOUNDS...
236
00:10:17,948 --> 00:10:20,951
TELL TED I'M SICK.
I'M GOING HOME.
237
00:10:24,294 --> 00:10:26,396
♪ ONLY TAKES A LITTLE BIT
OF GLAMOUR GLIMMER ♪
238
00:10:26,396 --> 00:10:29,129
♪ ONLY JUST A LITTLE BIT
OF SHAKE-OR-SHIMMER ♪
239
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,100
♪ NOTHING NEVER MATTERS... ♪
240
00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:31,732
Man: DID YOU
LIKE THAT IN THERE?
241
00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:32,032
AAH!
242
00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:34,104
THAT THING
WITH THE AIR CONDITIONER?
243
00:10:34,104 --> 00:10:35,866
YOU'RE LIKE A HERO NOW.
244
00:10:35,866 --> 00:10:36,636
MY GIFT TO YOU.
245
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,869
IS THIS A CARJACKING?
ARE YOU CARJACKING ME?
246
00:10:38,869 --> 00:10:40,911
FOR THIS?
IF IT WAS
AN ESCALADE, MAYBE.
247
00:10:40,911 --> 00:10:43,073
YOU CAN HAVE THE CAR.
I DON'T WANT THE CAR.
248
00:10:43,073 --> 00:10:44,174
YOU CAN HAVE
THE CAR, JUST--
249
00:10:44,174 --> 00:10:47,047
SAM, I'M NOT
A CARJACKER.
250
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,178
I'M THE DEVIL.
251
00:10:48,178 --> 00:10:49,649
[SOFTLY] WHAT? WHAT?
252
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,752
YOUR NAME TAG'S
CROOKED.
253
00:10:51,922 --> 00:10:54,384
AAH!
[TIRES SCREECHING]
254
00:10:54,384 --> 00:10:55,325
OOF!
♪ ...GOLD ♪
255
00:10:55,325 --> 00:10:57,928
♪ BABY WHEN IT ISN'T
THEN IT MUST BE ROCK AND ROLL ♪
256
00:10:57,928 --> 00:11:00,390
♪ AND AH SHA, SHA,
SHA SHA SHA-DOOBIE ♪
257
00:11:00,390 --> 00:11:03,333
♪ SOMETIMES IT'S REALLY
JUST LIKE THE MOVIES ♪
258
00:11:03,333 --> 00:11:05,235
♪ SHA, SHA, SHA SHA... ♪
259
00:11:05,235 --> 00:11:06,937
HEY, ARE YOU OK?
260
00:11:07,197 --> 00:11:09,669
WANT ME TO CALL
AN AMBULANCE?
261
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:12,943
SIR. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
262
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,720
HEY, SAMMY.
263
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:34,064
DAD, WH--WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?
264
00:11:34,064 --> 00:11:37,697
WAITING FOR YOU.
YOU OK?
265
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,970
NO. I-I THINK--
266
00:11:39,970 --> 00:11:42,272
I THINK I MIGHT BE
GOING INSANE.
267
00:11:42,272 --> 00:11:43,904
BAD DAY.
268
00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:45,876
LET'S SEE. UM...
269
00:11:45,876 --> 00:11:47,778
GOT CHASED
BY A PACK OF DOGS,
270
00:11:47,778 --> 00:11:49,239
MOVED AN AIR CONDITIONER
WITH MY MIND,
271
00:11:49,239 --> 00:11:52,943
OH, AND THE DEVIL
TRIED TO CARJACK ME,
272
00:11:52,943 --> 00:11:57,187
SO, OVERALL,
NOT A GREAT DAY.
273
00:11:57,818 --> 00:11:59,719
SIT DOWN, SAM.
274
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,827
THERE'S SOMETHING I--
I HAVE TO TELL YOU.
275
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:10,360
I...I PROBABLY
SHOULD'VE TOLD YOU THIS
A LONG TIME AGO.
276
00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:14,835
I...BEFORE
YOU WERE BORN...
277
00:12:15,305 --> 00:12:17,107
YOUR MOM AND I--
278
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,842
SOLD YOUR SOUL
TO THE DEVIL.
279
00:12:25,816 --> 00:12:27,948
WHAT?
I WAS REALLY,
REALLY SICK,
280
00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:30,981
AND HE CAME TO US
AND OFFERED US A CURE,
281
00:12:30,981 --> 00:12:34,754
AND IN EXCHANGE,
HE WOULD TAKE THE SOUL
282
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:37,928
OF OUR FIRSTBORN
WHEN HE TURNED 21.
283
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,761
YOUR MOM AND I THOUGHT,
OK, WELL THEN, FINE.
284
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:42,963
WE JUST
WON'T HAVE CHILDREN,
285
00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:44,965
BECAUSE IF THERE'S
NO FIRSTBORN,
286
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:47,067
THEN THERE'S
NO SOUL TO TAKE.
287
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:50,370
ABOUT A YEAR LATER,
DR. BURKE TOLD ME
THAT I WAS INFERTILE
288
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:52,072
AND WE THOUGHT,
THAT'S GREAT.
289
00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:53,804
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
290
00:12:53,804 --> 00:12:55,175
R-RIGHT.
291
00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:57,077
EXCEPT THAT
AS IT TURNS OUT,
292
00:12:57,077 --> 00:13:00,180
OLD DR. BURKE HAD A BIT
OF A GAMBLING PROBLEM,
293
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:02,052
AND THE DEVIL
PAID OFF HIS DEBTS,
294
00:13:02,052 --> 00:13:08,088
AND IN EXCHANGE,
DOC HAD TO TELL
THIS ONE LITTLE LIE.
295
00:13:08,458 --> 00:13:12,192
NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
WE'RE PREGNANT.
296
00:13:16,266 --> 00:13:18,068
I-I'M SO SORRY, SAM.
297
00:13:18,068 --> 00:13:21,271
I--I WISH I COULD
MAKE YOU FORGIVE ME,
298
00:13:21,271 --> 00:13:24,504
BUT...HOW CAN YOU?
299
00:13:26,176 --> 00:13:28,939
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
300
00:13:31,381 --> 00:13:33,343
HEY, HEY!
STARTED WITHOUT YOU,
BIRTHDAY BOY.
301
00:13:33,343 --> 00:13:36,086
BUT WE'RE FINISHING
WITH YOU, 'CAUSE
YOU'RE BUYING.
302
00:13:36,086 --> 00:13:36,947
DRINK UP.
303
00:13:36,947 --> 00:13:39,890
[SLURPING LOUDLY]
Andi: WHOA.
304
00:13:47,597 --> 00:13:50,060
I'M PRETTY SURE THERE
WAS A CIGARETTE BUTT
IN THAT ONE, SAM.
305
00:13:50,060 --> 00:13:51,561
I NEED TO TALK
TO YOU RIGHT NOW.
OOF!
306
00:13:51,561 --> 00:13:53,033
COME ON.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
307
00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:55,365
DON'T YOU WANT
TO HANG OUT WITH US?
308
00:14:01,511 --> 00:14:03,113
JUST GIVE ME
2 SECONDS.
309
00:14:03,113 --> 00:14:03,944
ALL RIGHT.
310
00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:05,515
HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
SAM I AM.
311
00:14:05,515 --> 00:14:06,246
OH, HEY, THANKS.
312
00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:10,981
CAN I GET A ROUND OF SHOTS
FOR THESE DEGENERATES HERE?
ON ME.
313
00:14:10,981 --> 00:14:14,124
HEY, LOOK AT ME.
I'M THE BIG DISTRICT ATTORNEY
OFFICE CHICK
314
00:14:14,124 --> 00:14:16,226
BUYING ALL MY FRIENDS
WITH FREE BOOZE.
315
00:14:16,226 --> 00:14:17,527
OOH, LOOK AT ME.
I'M 25 YEARS OLD
316
00:14:17,527 --> 00:14:18,989
AND I STILL LIVE
WITH MY PARENTS.
317
00:14:18,989 --> 00:14:20,560
OH, YOU KNOW,
I DON'T LIKE YOU GUYS
318
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:21,431
ALL MAKING OUT
AND STUFF.
319
00:14:21,431 --> 00:14:24,995
YOU WERE SO CUTE TOGETHER.
YOU GUYS SHOULD'VE NEVER
BROKEN UP.
320
00:14:24,995 --> 00:14:25,896
UH, ACTUALLY,
I HAD TO, ANDI,
321
00:14:25,896 --> 00:14:29,869
BECAUSE I FOUND OUT THAT
SHE USED TO BE A DUDE. [LAUGHS]
322
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:32,202
I HEARD YOU USED
TO BE A DUDE, TOO.
323
00:14:32,402 --> 00:14:35,946
WELL, I HEARD THAT
YOU HAD ONE TIME A FRIEND.
324
00:14:35,946 --> 00:14:37,908
I DON'T HAVE TO GO
TO THE BATHROOM, SAM.
325
00:14:37,908 --> 00:14:40,410
I KNOW.
SOMETHING HAPPENED.
326
00:14:40,951 --> 00:14:43,583
WAIT...I HAVE TO GO
TO THE BATHROOM. WHAT?
327
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:47,117
OK, I HAVE A PROBLEM.
I HAVE A--I HAVE
A SERIOUS PROBLEM.
328
00:14:47,117 --> 00:14:48,658
OK. GO.
329
00:14:52,062 --> 00:14:56,566
DUDE, SERIOUSLY.
STOP LOOK AT MY JUNK.
330
00:14:57,427 --> 00:15:00,170
[URINAL FLUSHES]
331
00:15:01,471 --> 00:15:02,902
ALL RIGHT...GO.
332
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,204
[DOOR CLOSES]
333
00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:05,905
[CLEARS THROAT] UM...
334
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:10,910
MY PARENTS...SOLD MY
SOUL TO THE DEVIL.
335
00:15:16,446 --> 00:15:17,587
HOW DRUNK ARE YOU?
336
00:15:17,587 --> 00:15:19,349
TOTALLY SOBER.
337
00:15:20,450 --> 00:15:21,051
HOW DRUNK AM I?
338
00:15:21,051 --> 00:15:24,194
THE DOGS?
THE AIR CONDITIONER?
I MEAN--
339
00:15:25,255 --> 00:15:27,527
I-I BELIEVE THIS.
340
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:31,131
[URINAL FLUSHES]
341
00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:34,064
YOU LUCKY BASTARD.
342
00:15:34,064 --> 00:15:35,935
WHAT?
WELL, NOTHING
COOL LIKE THAT
343
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:36,536
EVER HAPPENS
TO ME, MAN.
344
00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:39,169
NO, SOCK.
THIS ISN'T COOL.
THIS SUCKS.
345
00:15:39,169 --> 00:15:39,609
IT DOES NOT SUCK.
346
00:15:39,609 --> 00:15:41,511
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
YOU WANTED SOME CHANGE, RIGHT?
347
00:15:41,511 --> 00:15:43,113
WELL, CHECK IT OUT, BUDDY.
WISH GRANTED.
348
00:15:43,113 --> 00:15:45,375
YOU'RE THE--YOU'RE
THE MAGIC DEVIL GUY
349
00:15:45,375 --> 00:15:46,676
WITH THE KUNG FU
MIND GRIP NOW.
350
00:15:46,676 --> 00:15:48,718
YOU GOING TO TELL ANDI?
NO. I'M NOT
GOING TO TELL ANDI.
351
00:15:48,718 --> 00:15:50,080
IF SHE KNOWS, SHE'LL
THINK I'M A FREAK.
352
00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:50,981
SHE'LL NEVER
GO OUT WITH ME.
353
00:15:50,981 --> 00:15:52,552
YOU CAN MAKE HER
GO OUT WITH YOU, DAMIEN.
354
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:53,953
ALL RIGHT, SOCK.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M GOING HOME.
355
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:57,627
JUST MAKE SOME EXCUSES.
DON'T SAY ANYTHING,
ALL RIGHT?
356
00:15:57,627 --> 00:15:59,229
ALL RIGHT.
357
00:15:59,629 --> 00:16:03,233
LEAVE OUT THE, UH,
DEVIL THING, RIGHT?
358
00:16:05,295 --> 00:16:08,068
[SIGHS]
359
00:16:36,426 --> 00:16:37,397
AHH.
360
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:41,601
OH, THAT'S REALLY NICE.
NOT TOO GAY AT ALL.
361
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:44,304
AAH!
362
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:52,112
[MAN SINGING IN ITALIAN]
[SIZZLING]
363
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,484
[DEVIL SIGHS]
364
00:16:54,784 --> 00:16:55,585
HEY, LOOK.
I GET IT.
365
00:16:55,585 --> 00:16:58,318
IT'S A BIG DEAL.
YOU DIDN'T CHOOSE IT.
366
00:16:58,318 --> 00:17:02,552
NOT FAIR.
NOBODY'S BLAMING YOU
FOR FREAKING OUT.
367
00:17:02,552 --> 00:17:08,428
AHH. YES, SIR.
CHICKEN FRIED STEAK.
368
00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:12,562
OH, I'M SO GLAD
I DON'T HAVE ARTERIES.
369
00:17:12,562 --> 00:17:15,034
MM. OH, DID YOU WANT
TO TRY SOME?
370
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,366
NO.
371
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,539
DO I HAVE TO--
372
00:17:20,210 --> 00:17:21,541
DO I HAVE TO GO
TO HELL NOW?
373
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:26,316
NOW? NO, NO, NO, NO.
NOT NOW.
374
00:17:26,316 --> 00:17:29,579
YOU'RE GOING TO
WORK FOR ME HERE
IN THE EARTHLY REALM.
375
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:32,222
LIKE--KILL PEOPLE?
376
00:17:32,222 --> 00:17:34,624
WOW. YOU'RE
A REAL PESSIMIST.
377
00:17:34,624 --> 00:17:37,457
OF COURSE YOU WON'T BE
MURDERING ANYONE.
378
00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:40,059
YOU'RE JUST GOING TO
BRING ESCAPED SOULS
BACK TO HELL.
379
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,132
YOU KNOW,
LIKE A BOUNTY HUNTER.
380
00:17:42,332 --> 00:17:44,134
THAT'S COOL, RIGHT?
381
00:17:44,334 --> 00:17:46,736
HA. YOU GOT
ANY ROOT BEER?
382
00:17:46,736 --> 00:17:49,339
W-WAIT A SECOND.
SO PEOPLE CAN
BREAK OUT OF HELL?
383
00:17:49,339 --> 00:17:53,343
YEAH. YEAH, THAT'S
A PROBLEM WE'VE BEEN
HAVING LATELY.
384
00:17:53,343 --> 00:17:56,476
YOU KNOW, WITH
THE OVERCROWDING
AND SO FORTH.
385
00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:58,778
HONESTLY, WE WERE
UNDERPREPARED
FOR THE INFLUX.
386
00:17:58,778 --> 00:17:59,779
I BLAME MYSELF.
387
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:04,754
MM. AHH. OH, YEAH.
BUT THAT'S NOT
YOUR PROBLEM.
388
00:18:04,754 --> 00:18:07,357
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS TRACK DOWN FUGITIVES
389
00:18:07,357 --> 00:18:10,760
AND HAUL THEIR ASSES
OVER TO A PORTAL
TO HELL. EASY.
390
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:12,162
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
BY "PORTAL"?
391
00:18:12,162 --> 00:18:16,866
WELL, ANY PLACE THAT
SEEMS LIKE HELL ON EARTH
IS HELL ON EARTH.
392
00:18:16,866 --> 00:18:19,769
YOU KNOW, LIKE THE DMV
ON UNION STREET?
393
00:18:19,769 --> 00:18:22,602
YEAH, DROP OFF
A FUGITIVE,
RENEW YOUR LICENSE.
394
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:25,335
I'M ALL ABOUT THE PERKS.
HA HA.
395
00:18:25,335 --> 00:18:26,506
OH, MY GOD.
396
00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:29,779
HEY. KIDDO.
IT'S OK.
397
00:18:29,779 --> 00:18:32,482
I'VE SEEN
HOW THIS ALL ENDS.
398
00:18:32,482 --> 00:18:36,546
DON'T WORRY.
GOD WINS.
399
00:18:36,786 --> 00:18:38,488
AND YOU'LL BE
DOING HUMANITY A FAVOR
400
00:18:38,488 --> 00:18:42,222
BY PUTTING BAD GUYS
RIGHT BACK WHERE
THEY BELONG.
401
00:18:45,595 --> 00:18:47,557
WHAT DO I
HAVE TO DO?
402
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,902
THERE'S YOUR FUGITIVE.
403
00:18:53,403 --> 00:18:56,266
HE BROKE OUT OF HELL
AFTER 50 YEARS FOR ARSON.
404
00:18:56,266 --> 00:18:59,739
ALL THESE LITTLE FIRES
THAT HAVE BEEN
AROUND TOWN LATELY?
405
00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:00,340
HE SET THEM.
406
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:02,672
HE'S A FIREMAN.
WELL, HE IS
NOW, YES.
407
00:19:02,672 --> 00:19:06,276
BUT WHEN HE WAS ALIVE,
HE WAS A BIG-TIME
FIREBUG.
408
00:19:06,276 --> 00:19:08,578
CAN'T YOU JUST
TASTE THE IRONY?
409
00:19:08,578 --> 00:19:13,453
NO. THIS UPRIGHT CITIZEN
BELONGS IN HELL.
410
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:17,287
OH, GAG.
LOOK AT THAT TOOL.
411
00:19:17,287 --> 00:19:19,429
YOU CAPTURE HIM ALREADY?
412
00:19:19,429 --> 00:19:21,291
SO YOU WANT--
YOU WANT ME
TO KILL HIM.
413
00:19:21,291 --> 00:19:23,763
WHAT IS THIS
OBSESSION WITH MURDER?
414
00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:24,734
THE GUY'S ALREADY DEAD.
415
00:19:24,734 --> 00:19:25,565
WHAT DO YOU
WANT ME TO DO?
416
00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:27,737
I MEAN, HOW AM I
SUPPOSED TO CAPTURE
HIM? I--
417
00:19:27,737 --> 00:19:29,539
THIS WILL HELP.
418
00:19:31,701 --> 00:19:35,505
A VESSEL.
HANDCRAFTED IN THE BOWELS
OF PERDITION
419
00:19:35,505 --> 00:19:37,847
BY THE INIQUITOUS
AND THE VILE.
420
00:19:37,847 --> 00:19:41,411
OH, I FORGOT.
YOU--YOU GOT 600
ON YOUR SATs, DIDN'T YOU?
421
00:19:41,411 --> 00:19:42,312
NO, I UNDERSTAND
WHAT IT MEANS.
422
00:19:42,312 --> 00:19:43,453
I'M JUST--I-I'M NOT
DOING THIS, OK?
423
00:19:43,453 --> 00:19:46,316
I'M NOT GOING TO BE
YOUR STUPID
BOUNTY HUNTER.
424
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:56,466
YOU WILL DO IT,
OR I'LL TAKE
YOUR MOTHER.
425
00:19:56,666 --> 00:19:58,468
YOU REFUSE TO WORK FOR ME,
426
00:19:58,468 --> 00:20:01,231
HER SOUL BECOMES FORFEIT.
427
00:20:01,731 --> 00:20:04,704
IT'S THE LADY
OR THE TIGER, SAMMY.
428
00:20:05,875 --> 00:20:07,637
YOU THINK ABOUT IT.
429
00:20:08,338 --> 00:20:11,311
[CHUCKLES]
430
00:20:18,948 --> 00:20:21,721
[TAPE SQUEAKING]
431
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:27,697
TAPE HAND.
432
00:20:28,498 --> 00:20:29,259
DOESN'T
LOOK EVIL.
433
00:20:29,259 --> 00:20:30,600
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
IT DOESN'T
LOOK EVIL?
434
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:31,531
THERE'S DEMON HEADS
ALL OVER IT.
435
00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:33,002
TRUST ME,
IT'S FROM THE DEVIL.
IT'S EVIL.
436
00:20:33,002 --> 00:20:35,335
SAM, THERE'S NO SUCH THING
AS THE DEVIL, ALL RIGHT?
437
00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:37,807
I MEAN, THE GUY
WAS PROBABLY JUST
SOME HOMELESS PERSON.
438
00:20:37,807 --> 00:20:40,440
NO. HE WASN'T HOMELESS.
HE HAD A SUIT ON, OK,
439
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,912
AND HE TURNED NIGHT
INTO DAY, AND WHAT ABOUT
THE TELEKINESIS THING?
440
00:20:42,912 --> 00:20:44,574
TELL HIM ABOUT
THE TELEKINESIS
THING.
441
00:20:44,574 --> 00:20:46,876
WHAT
TELEKINESIS THING?
OH!
442
00:20:46,876 --> 00:20:49,619
AAH!
STILL WORKING
ON THAT ONE.
443
00:20:49,619 --> 00:20:50,650
ALL RIGHT.
COOL.
444
00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:52,782
LET'S SAY YOU DID
MEET SATAN HIMSELF.
445
00:20:52,782 --> 00:20:53,783
THERE'S NO WAY
HE OWNS YOU OR WHATEVER
446
00:20:53,783 --> 00:20:57,927
BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY
ANOTHER PERSON CAN SELL
ANOTHER PERSON'S SOUL.
447
00:20:57,927 --> 00:20:58,558
WHY NOT?
448
00:20:58,558 --> 00:21:00,960
BECAUSE ALL MYTHS SAY
GOD GRANTED HUMANS FREE WILL.
449
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:04,594
THERE'S NO WAY YOU CAN
GIVE AWAY OR SELL
ANOTHER PERSON'S ESSENCE.
450
00:21:04,594 --> 00:21:09,669
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
JUST OPEN IT.
451
00:21:28,588 --> 00:21:29,819
WHAT?
452
00:21:29,819 --> 00:21:32,962
Sock:
WHAT? WHAT IS IT?
453
00:21:33,523 --> 00:21:37,026
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
454
00:21:37,026 --> 00:21:37,967
IT'S A DIRT DEVIL.
455
00:21:37,967 --> 00:21:38,868
NO. I TAKE IT
BACK, SAM.
456
00:21:38,868 --> 00:21:40,970
THAT'S A REALLY EVIL
MINI VAC,
457
00:21:40,970 --> 00:21:43,633
I DON'T KNOW.
THAT DEVIL GUY WAS--
458
00:21:43,633 --> 00:21:44,634
MESSING WITH YOU.
459
00:21:44,634 --> 00:21:47,377
WE SELL THOSE--
AISLE 15, I THINK.
460
00:21:47,377 --> 00:21:49,439
[WHIRRING]
461
00:21:49,439 --> 00:21:52,842
[TIRES SCREECH]
462
00:21:54,984 --> 00:21:57,717
THAT'LL WORK.
463
00:22:16,866 --> 00:22:19,409
WHAT'S THE PLAN?
464
00:22:19,409 --> 00:22:20,109
GO OVER THERE.
465
00:22:20,109 --> 00:22:23,573
DO THE VACUUM THING
AND SEE HOW THAT
ALL WORKS OUT?
466
00:22:23,573 --> 00:22:27,477
I LOVE THIS PLAN.
LET'S DO IT.
467
00:22:49,899 --> 00:22:51,541
SO, WHAT
DO YOU THINK?
468
00:22:51,541 --> 00:22:54,844
3 ON 1.
GOT THIS GUY
IN THE BAG.
469
00:22:58,448 --> 00:23:01,951
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
470
00:23:02,512 --> 00:23:07,557
YEAH. NOW, SAM.
COME ON. SAM.
471
00:23:07,557 --> 00:23:10,520
Sam: IT'S
NOT WORKING!
472
00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:11,821
[BOOM]
473
00:23:11,821 --> 00:23:13,523
HEADS UP!
HEADS UP!
474
00:23:13,523 --> 00:23:17,396
OH!
AAH!
475
00:23:17,667 --> 00:23:21,471
Sock: WATCH OUT!
BEN IS HURT!
476
00:23:24,534 --> 00:23:26,976
[BOOM]
477
00:23:27,537 --> 00:23:29,539
OH!
OH!
478
00:23:29,539 --> 00:23:31,010
[ROARS]
479
00:23:31,010 --> 00:23:31,741
COME ON NOW.
GET UP.
480
00:23:31,741 --> 00:23:35,885
OH, MY FACE! OH, MY FACE!
I CAN'T FEEL MY FACE.
481
00:23:35,885 --> 00:23:39,949
ALL RIGHT.
GO, SAM!
482
00:23:39,949 --> 00:23:44,053
[TIRES SCREECH]
483
00:23:53,102 --> 00:23:55,565
HEY.
484
00:23:56,766 --> 00:23:58,137
WHERE WERE YOU?
485
00:23:58,137 --> 00:24:00,770
GIFT SHOP.
486
00:24:00,770 --> 00:24:02,141
BEN WOULD WANT
EYEBROWS.
487
00:24:02,141 --> 00:24:06,646
BEN WOULD WANT EYEBROWS,
AND HE WOULD WANT US
TO GIVE THEM TO HIM.
488
00:24:06,646 --> 00:24:09,018
SAY YES.
JUST DO IT.
489
00:24:09,018 --> 00:24:12,822
I SHOULD'VE
GONE ALONE.
WHAT?
490
00:24:12,822 --> 00:24:16,686
HEY,
IS BEN OK?
491
00:24:16,686 --> 00:24:18,858
UH, HOW
DID YOU KNOW?
492
00:24:18,858 --> 00:24:21,060
I CALLED HER.
WHAT HAPPENED?
493
00:24:21,060 --> 00:24:24,093
WE WERE WORKING
ON A PROJECT.
494
00:24:24,093 --> 00:24:26,596
WHAT PROJECT?
MAKING NAPALM.
495
00:24:26,596 --> 00:24:28,998
WHAT?
IT'S HARD
TO EXPLAIN, ANDI.
496
00:24:28,998 --> 00:24:32,602
OK. WELL, TRY.
I CAN'T,
REALLY. I DON'T--
497
00:24:32,602 --> 00:24:35,044
SAM, WHAT AREN'T
YOU TELLING ME?
498
00:24:35,044 --> 00:24:36,145
IT'S COMPLICATED.
499
00:24:36,145 --> 00:24:37,046
WHAT DID YOU DO?
IS IT YOUR FAULT?
500
00:24:37,046 --> 00:24:44,153
YES, ANDI. IT'S MY FAULT, OK?
I'M THE LOSER
WHO GOT BEN HURT, ALL RIGHT?
501
00:24:49,058 --> 00:24:51,220
HEY, DON'T
BEAT YOURSELF UP
OVER THAT, MAN.
502
00:24:51,220 --> 00:24:52,992
YOU HAD TO LIE
TO HER.
503
00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:54,023
LOOK. SHE'S GOT
BEN COVERED.
504
00:24:54,023 --> 00:24:56,165
I SAY YOU AND I GO
AND BURN THE FIREMAN.
505
00:24:56,165 --> 00:24:57,496
NO. I'M GOING ALONE,
ALL RIGHT?
506
00:24:57,496 --> 00:25:00,029
I CAN HELP, RIGHT?
WHAT'D I JUST SAY?
507
00:25:00,029 --> 00:25:01,571
STAY AWAY FROM ME,
ALL RIGHT?
508
00:25:01,571 --> 00:25:05,274
GOING BACK
TO THE FIREHOUSE
AND ENDING THIS.
509
00:25:08,007 --> 00:25:09,809
YEAH.
510
00:25:09,809 --> 00:25:10,540
Woman:
WHAT HAPPENED?
511
00:25:10,540 --> 00:25:12,642
Man: I DON'T KNOW.
THERE WAS THIS HUGE EXPLOSION.
512
00:25:12,642 --> 00:25:15,915
[SIRENS APPROACHING]
513
00:25:15,915 --> 00:25:18,788
WATCH YOUR HEAD.
514
00:25:24,523 --> 00:25:27,857
Man: THIS IS DAVID THOMPSON
REPORTING FOR CHANNEL 63.
515
00:25:27,857 --> 00:25:31,030
AS YOU CAN SEE BEHIND ME...
516
00:25:31,030 --> 00:25:34,033
[POLICE RADIO CHATTER]
517
00:25:51,951 --> 00:25:56,225
COME ON, MOM.
LET'S GET YOU TO BED.
518
00:25:56,225 --> 00:26:00,590
COME ON.
519
00:26:05,965 --> 00:26:09,839
I WANT TO GO
INSTEAD.
520
00:26:09,839 --> 00:26:14,573
YOU TELL THEM
TO COME FOR ME.
521
00:26:15,705 --> 00:26:18,808
ACTUALLY, IT'S OVER.
522
00:26:18,808 --> 00:26:22,812
I JUST HAD TO DO
ONE THING FOR THE GUY,
AND THEN I'M DONE.
523
00:26:22,812 --> 00:26:25,615
EVERYTHING
IS BACK TO NORMAL.
524
00:26:28,718 --> 00:26:31,961
YOU MEAN YOUR SOUL?
ALL MINE,
ALL RIGHT?
525
00:26:31,961 --> 00:26:34,994
SO, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO FEEL BAD ANYMORE.
526
00:26:34,994 --> 00:26:38,597
YOU AND DAD CAN JUST
TREAT ME LIKE I'M NORMAL
FROM NOW ON, OK?
527
00:26:38,597 --> 00:26:41,931
OK. OK.
528
00:26:41,931 --> 00:26:44,133
ALL RIGHT?
529
00:26:44,133 --> 00:26:47,977
I'M SO HAPPY.
530
00:26:47,977 --> 00:26:51,110
GOOD NIGHT, MOM.
531
00:26:55,715 --> 00:26:56,746
[BUZZER]
532
00:26:56,746 --> 00:26:59,088
[ORGAN PLAYING]
533
00:27:06,395 --> 00:27:07,997
[RHYTHMIC CLAPPING]
534
00:27:07,997 --> 00:27:09,829
[ORGAN PLAYS]
535
00:27:09,829 --> 00:27:11,761
[RHYTHMIC CLAPPING]
536
00:27:11,761 --> 00:27:13,402
[ORGAN PLAYS]
537
00:27:13,402 --> 00:27:15,334
[RHYTHMIC CLAPPING]
538
00:27:15,334 --> 00:27:17,036
[ORGAN PLAYS]
539
00:27:17,036 --> 00:27:19,038
[RHYTHMIC CLAPPING]
540
00:27:19,038 --> 00:27:20,639
[ORGAN PLAYS]
541
00:27:20,639 --> 00:27:22,672
[RHYTHMIC CLAPPING]
542
00:27:22,672 --> 00:27:27,677
[ORGAN PLAYS "CHARGE"]
543
00:27:27,977 --> 00:27:29,749
I LOVE HOCKEY--
544
00:27:29,749 --> 00:27:32,882
LOTS OF AGGRESSION,
TONS OF BLOOD.
545
00:27:32,882 --> 00:27:33,923
WANT TO GUESS WHO
MY FAVORITE TEAM IS?
546
00:27:33,923 --> 00:27:35,925
YEAH. I CAN'T DO THIS.
I TRIED. IT'S TOO HARD.
547
00:27:35,925 --> 00:27:37,787
MY FRIEND GOT HURT.
I LOST THE FIREMAN.
548
00:27:37,787 --> 00:27:40,329
YOU HAVE
THE WRONG GUY,
549
00:27:40,329 --> 00:27:43,092
SO YOU CAN JUST TAKE ME
TO HELL OR WHATEVER.
550
00:27:43,092 --> 00:27:44,193
I DON'T CARE.
NO.
551
00:27:44,193 --> 00:27:46,696
THAT'S NOT THE WAY
THINGS WORK, SAMMY.
552
00:27:46,696 --> 00:27:47,997
YOU'RE OF NO USE
TO ME DOWN THERE.
553
00:27:47,997 --> 00:27:49,368
WELL, I'M NO EXACTLY
KICKING ASS UP HERE.
554
00:27:49,368 --> 00:27:50,669
YOU SHOULD JUST FIND
SOMEBODY ELSE
555
00:27:50,669 --> 00:27:51,901
BEFORE THE GUY
KILLS MORE PEOPLE.
556
00:27:51,901 --> 00:27:53,342
YOU DO THIS A LOT,
DON'T YOU?
557
00:27:53,342 --> 00:27:54,804
DO WHAT?
GIVE UP.
558
00:27:54,804 --> 00:27:56,776
THINGS GET HARD,
LITTLE SAMMY
559
00:27:56,776 --> 00:27:59,248
TAKES THE PATH
OF LEAST RESISTANCE.
560
00:27:59,248 --> 00:28:01,150
FINE, FINE.
I'M A FAILURE.
561
00:28:01,150 --> 00:28:03,212
Devil:
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
562
00:28:03,212 --> 00:28:05,815
BEFORE YOU
THROW IN THE TOWEL,
563
00:28:05,815 --> 00:28:10,289
WHY DON'T YOU DO SOME
INVESTIGATING FIRST?
564
00:28:10,289 --> 00:28:11,791
LOOK FOR MOTIVATIONS.
565
00:28:11,791 --> 00:28:13,793
I MEAN, WHY DOES
THE FIREMAN DO
WHAT HE DOES?
566
00:28:13,793 --> 00:28:15,925
WHO CARES?
WHY BURN DOWN ANYTHING?
567
00:28:15,925 --> 00:28:18,828
HE ALREADY DID THAT
WHEN HE WAS ALIVE.
EXACTLY.
568
00:28:18,828 --> 00:28:24,874
WHY? LIKE I SAID--
HOLD ON A MINUTE.
569
00:28:28,908 --> 00:28:29,979
[ENGINE REVS]
570
00:28:29,979 --> 00:28:32,982
OH! NO! AAH!
571
00:28:36,715 --> 00:28:38,848
OH, DON'T FEEL BAD.
572
00:28:38,848 --> 00:28:40,950
HE WAS
A TERRIBLE PERSON--
573
00:28:40,950 --> 00:28:44,053
DRINKER,
WIFE BEATER.
574
00:28:44,053 --> 00:28:46,295
HE DIDN'T FULFILL
HIS CONTRACT, EITHER,
575
00:28:46,295 --> 00:28:49,899
BUT I THINK YOU'RE ON
THE RIGHT TRACK, SAMMY.
576
00:28:49,899 --> 00:28:54,003
I FEEL VERY GOOD
ABOUT THIS.
577
00:28:55,064 --> 00:28:57,036
WORD OF CAUTION--
578
00:28:57,036 --> 00:29:02,371
I DON'T ACCEPT
FAILURE...EVER.
579
00:29:17,526 --> 00:29:21,260
SOCK! HEY, SOCK!
580
00:29:21,260 --> 00:29:23,532
SOCK!
581
00:29:29,999 --> 00:29:32,301
I'M AN ASS HAT.
582
00:29:32,301 --> 00:29:35,044
YES. YOU ARE.
583
00:29:35,044 --> 00:29:38,177
SO, WE'RE COOL?
584
00:29:39,178 --> 00:29:41,780
YEAH. ALL RIGHT.
585
00:29:41,780 --> 00:29:42,912
ALL RIGHT.
586
00:29:42,912 --> 00:29:44,413
WHEN DO WE THROW DOWN
WITH FIRE BOY?
587
00:29:44,413 --> 00:29:45,184
LET'S TAKE
A WALK.
588
00:29:45,184 --> 00:29:47,216
THE DEVIL DOESN'T
WANT TO HELP YOU,
THEN WHY DO YOU CARE?
589
00:29:47,216 --> 00:29:48,187
BECAUSE PEOPLE
ARE DYING, SOCK.
590
00:29:48,187 --> 00:29:51,190
I MEAN, IF YOU DON'T
KNOW THEM PERSONALLY,
DOES IT REALLY MATTER?
591
00:29:51,190 --> 00:29:54,163
ALL RIGHT. LISTEN.
DO YOU REMEMBER
RICKY SHERMER?
592
00:29:54,163 --> 00:29:55,865
OH, RICKY SHERMER.
YEAH.
593
00:29:55,865 --> 00:29:58,467
FROM HIGH SCHOOL.
HE SET THE GYM ON FIRE.
594
00:29:58,467 --> 00:29:59,068
LIKE 7 TIMES.
595
00:29:59,068 --> 00:30:00,930
HE KEPT GOING BACK
OVER AND OVER.
I KNOW.
596
00:30:00,930 --> 00:30:02,801
THE GUY WAS NUTS.
I LOVED THAT GUY.
597
00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:04,103
RIGHT. SO,
I STARTED THINKING,
598
00:30:04,103 --> 00:30:06,305
"WHY DID RICKY KEEP
BURNING DOWN THE SAME PLACE?"
599
00:30:06,305 --> 00:30:09,038
BECAUSE HE WAS AFRAID OF
THE GYM SHOWERS.
NO, NO.
600
00:30:09,038 --> 00:30:11,941
BECAUSE THEY KEPT
REBUILDING IT.
RIGHT...
601
00:30:11,941 --> 00:30:14,984
BUT, FYI, RICKY
WAS TOTALLY AFRAID
OF THE GYM SHOWERS.
602
00:30:14,984 --> 00:30:16,986
LISTEN. I THINK THE FIREMAN
MIGHT BE BURNING DOWN
603
00:30:16,986 --> 00:30:19,148
THE SAME PLACES HE
BURNED DOWN 50 YEARS AGO.
604
00:30:19,148 --> 00:30:21,350
WE NEED TO FIND OUT
WHO HE WAS WHEN HE WAS ALIVE.
605
00:30:21,350 --> 00:30:22,551
YEAH. ALL RIGHT.
YEAH. YEAH.
606
00:30:22,551 --> 00:30:26,425
WE NEED ACCESS
TO RECORDS...
COOL. OK.
607
00:30:26,425 --> 00:30:29,498
CRIMINAL RECORDS.
608
00:30:33,462 --> 00:30:36,305
YOU'RE EVIL.
I'VE HEARD.
609
00:30:36,305 --> 00:30:38,507
Woman: I CANNOT BELIEVE
YOU CAME TO MY WORK.
610
00:30:38,507 --> 00:30:39,568
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU
NEVER COME TO MINE.
611
00:30:39,568 --> 00:30:42,341
I MEAN, DON'T YOU
EVER NEED A BATTERY OR
A ROOMBA OR SOMETHING?
612
00:30:42,341 --> 00:30:43,142
I NEED
A RESTRAINING ORDER.
613
00:30:43,142 --> 00:30:46,115
WHAT PART OF, "I DON'T
WANT TO SEE YOU ANYMORE,"
DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?
614
00:30:46,115 --> 00:30:47,346
LISTEN. NOBODY IS
MORE PROUD THAN ME
615
00:30:47,346 --> 00:30:49,218
THAT YOU STOPPED HAVING
SEX FOR MONEY, JOSIE.
616
00:30:49,218 --> 00:30:51,450
I JUST WISH
YOU'D STOP WITH
ALL THE SHOPLIFTING.
617
00:30:51,450 --> 00:30:52,952
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT. LISTEN.
618
00:30:52,952 --> 00:30:53,923
YOU KNOW ALL THOSE
ARSONS AROUND TOWN?
619
00:30:53,923 --> 00:30:55,484
I THINK THEY'RE CONNECTED
TO FIRES 50 YEARS AGO.
620
00:30:55,484 --> 00:30:57,987
WE JUST NEED YOU
TO LOOK UP A NAME.
IT'S NOT ILLEGAL.
621
00:30:57,987 --> 00:30:59,989
PROBABLY
NOT ILLEGAL.
622
00:30:59,989 --> 00:31:02,091
I AM A SWORN OFFICER
OF THE COURT.
623
00:31:02,091 --> 00:31:03,993
I TOOK AN OATH
TO UPHOLD THE LAW.
624
00:31:03,993 --> 00:31:05,494
HA HA HA!
THAT'S FUNNY...
625
00:31:05,494 --> 00:31:09,899
BECAUSE 90% OF THE STUFF
WE DID IN THE PARKING
LOT OF THIS COURTHOUSE
626
00:31:09,899 --> 00:31:12,241
IS ILLEGAL
IN 12 STATES.
627
00:31:12,241 --> 00:31:13,502
UH...
628
00:31:13,502 --> 00:31:18,277
OH, GOD, OH, DO YOU KNOW WHAT
I WOULD MAGNIFY WITH THIS THING?
629
00:31:18,277 --> 00:31:20,209
I'D MAKE MY ASS
MY LETTERHEAD.
630
00:31:20,209 --> 00:31:21,380
Sam: MAYBE YOU COULD
LOOK UP THE ADDRESSES
631
00:31:21,380 --> 00:31:23,282
AND SEE IF ANY OF THESE
PLACES BURNED DOWN BEFORE.
632
00:31:23,282 --> 00:31:25,154
LAST ARSON WAS
THE FIRE STATION
IN BELLEVUE.
633
00:31:25,154 --> 00:31:27,356
JUST PLEASE CHECK.
IF I'M WRONG, WE'LL GO.
634
00:31:27,356 --> 00:31:28,517
YOU'LL NEVER
SEE US AGAIN.
635
00:31:28,517 --> 00:31:30,289
HEY, I'M NOT
PROMISING THAT.
636
00:31:30,289 --> 00:31:34,323
FOR YOU,
NOT FOR HIM.
637
00:31:36,525 --> 00:31:37,066
[BEEP]
638
00:31:37,066 --> 00:31:39,128
SAME STATION WAS SET
ON FIRE IN 1950.
639
00:31:39,128 --> 00:31:42,231
THE FIRE WAS PUT OUT
BEFORE ANY REAL DAMAGE WAS DONE.
640
00:31:42,231 --> 00:31:44,233
BUT WHO?
641
00:31:44,233 --> 00:31:46,335
[TYPING]
642
00:31:46,335 --> 00:31:49,108
NED SCHMECKER, WHO TRIED
TO BURN DOWN A SCHOOL,
643
00:31:49,108 --> 00:31:53,542
HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND'S,
UNSUCCESSFULLY
UNTIL THE LAST ONE,
644
00:31:53,542 --> 00:31:56,285
WHEN HE DIED IN A FIRE
HE SET AT HIS PARENTS' HOUSE.
645
00:31:56,285 --> 00:31:59,188
PROBABLY KILLED
HIMSELF BECAUSE HIS
NAME WAS SCHMECKER.
646
00:31:59,188 --> 00:32:03,322
SAM, ALL THE PLACES
THAT SCHMECKER BURNED DOWN,
647
00:32:03,322 --> 00:32:06,595
THEY'RE THE SAME PLACES
THAT THE ARSONIST
BURNED DOWN LAST WEEK.
648
00:32:06,595 --> 00:32:08,427
I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT
ABOUT THIS.
649
00:32:08,427 --> 00:32:09,959
HAS EVERY PLACE
BEEN TORCHED ALREADY?
650
00:32:09,959 --> 00:32:11,560
NO. THE PARENTS' HOUSE
HASN'T BEEN TOUCHED,
651
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:14,503
BUT IT LOOKS LIKE
IT'S NOT A HOUSE ANYMORE.
652
00:32:14,503 --> 00:32:19,068
IT'S AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.
653
00:32:19,068 --> 00:32:21,310
WE GOT TO GO.
654
00:32:21,310 --> 00:32:22,941
WE GOT TO GET TO
THE SCHOOL RIGHT NOW.
655
00:32:22,941 --> 00:32:25,274
ALL RIGHT. ONE STOP.
WHAT?
NO. WHAT STOP?
656
00:32:25,274 --> 00:32:28,677
THIS TIME,
WE'RE GONNA BE READY.
657
00:32:39,458 --> 00:32:41,330
OHH...
658
00:32:41,330 --> 00:32:45,294
AHH, YEAH.
WE LOOK TASTY.
659
00:32:45,294 --> 00:32:47,096
HA HA HA!
660
00:32:47,096 --> 00:32:49,438
WE'RE GONNA
GET KILLED.
WHAT?
661
00:32:49,438 --> 00:32:51,970
WE'RE GONNA
GET KILLED.
662
00:32:51,970 --> 00:32:53,402
WHY?
663
00:32:53,402 --> 00:32:55,644
THIS THING
STILL DOESN'T WORK.
664
00:32:55,644 --> 00:32:58,047
MAYBE WE NEED TO GET
SOME BATTERIES FOR IT.
665
00:32:58,047 --> 00:33:00,249
NO. IT DOESN'T
USE BATTERIES.
666
00:33:00,249 --> 00:33:01,650
IT USES A...
667
00:33:01,650 --> 00:33:06,115
RECHARGER.
RECHARGER.
668
00:33:13,292 --> 00:33:14,663
IS IT READY?
669
00:33:14,663 --> 00:33:18,397
SAM! IS IT READY?
670
00:33:20,399 --> 00:33:24,002
NO.
671
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:43,422
Sock:
YO, SCHMECKER!
672
00:33:43,422 --> 00:33:46,795
MEET THE SCHMECKER
CHECKERS.
673
00:33:46,795 --> 00:33:49,198
NICE.
674
00:33:54,363 --> 00:33:57,536
AAGH!
675
00:33:57,536 --> 00:33:59,068
HA HA HA!
676
00:33:59,068 --> 00:34:00,169
CAN'T BELIEVE
THAT ONE WORKED.
677
00:34:00,169 --> 00:34:02,671
OF COURSE IT WORKED.
WE'RE PIMPS.
678
00:34:02,671 --> 00:34:03,572
WE ARE? REALLY?
679
00:34:03,572 --> 00:34:05,144
LOOK AT
HOW WE'RE DRESSED.
680
00:34:05,144 --> 00:34:06,675
WE DIDN'T EVEN
NEED THIS.
681
00:34:06,675 --> 00:34:08,147
AAH!
682
00:34:08,147 --> 00:34:12,081
WHOA! OHH!
683
00:34:18,187 --> 00:34:20,189
NO. WAIT. WAIT.
WAIT. WAIT. WAIT.
684
00:34:20,189 --> 00:34:23,332
SO, WHAT, DO YOU
USE FREE WEIGHTS?
685
00:34:23,332 --> 00:34:24,593
YOU WORK OUT?
686
00:34:24,593 --> 00:34:26,335
WHAT DO YOU BENCH,
LIKE 240?
687
00:34:26,335 --> 00:34:27,466
[ROARS]
688
00:34:27,466 --> 00:34:30,339
OH! OH!
689
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:33,772
OH. OHH!
690
00:34:33,772 --> 00:34:36,074
[BEEPING]
691
00:34:36,074 --> 00:34:38,647
HUH?
692
00:34:42,481 --> 00:34:44,653
OH...
693
00:34:49,718 --> 00:34:53,162
SAM...SAM, WHAT?
ARE YOU DOING THIS?
694
00:34:53,162 --> 00:34:57,126
SAM...SAM,
YOU'RE DOING IT.
695
00:35:05,434 --> 00:35:08,477
HA HA HA! YES!
696
00:35:08,477 --> 00:35:09,778
YES, BITCH!
697
00:35:09,778 --> 00:35:11,640
YOU ARE NAILED!
YOU'RE THE ONE!
698
00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:12,581
EAT IT, HEAT MISER!
699
00:35:12,581 --> 00:35:16,485
OH, I HAVE NEVER
BEEN SO ATTRACTED
TO A MAN IN MY LIFE.
700
00:35:16,485 --> 00:35:20,249
THAT'S NOT
WHAT I MEANT.
701
00:35:20,249 --> 00:35:23,652
[WHOOSH]
702
00:35:29,328 --> 00:35:32,201
SAM, SAM, SAM, SAM.
703
00:35:32,201 --> 00:35:33,232
UH!
704
00:35:33,232 --> 00:35:37,666
[ROARS]
705
00:35:37,666 --> 00:35:40,209
YES!
706
00:35:40,209 --> 00:35:42,341
OH...
707
00:35:42,341 --> 00:35:44,243
[COUGHS]
708
00:35:44,243 --> 00:35:48,447
I'M PRETTY SURE
I WET MY PANTS.
709
00:35:55,784 --> 00:35:59,428
DMV?
THIS IS THE PORTAL?
710
00:35:59,428 --> 00:36:01,860
HELL ON EARTH.
RIGHT.
711
00:36:01,860 --> 00:36:06,435
WHICH ONE
DO WE GO TO?
712
00:36:07,566 --> 00:36:11,940
RIGHT THERE.
713
00:36:17,446 --> 00:36:19,448
FUGITIVE TRANSFER?
714
00:36:19,448 --> 00:36:21,610
UH, YES.
I THINK SO.
715
00:36:21,610 --> 00:36:26,815
PLACE THE VESSEL
ON THE MAT.
716
00:36:27,456 --> 00:36:31,220
NEVER SEEN
ONE OF THESE BEFORE.
717
00:36:31,220 --> 00:36:34,963
AAH! AAH!
718
00:36:39,628 --> 00:36:41,300
HAVE A NICE DAY.
719
00:36:41,300 --> 00:36:42,200
W-W-WAIT.
720
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:43,632
SO, THEY'RE NOT ALL
LITTLE VACUUMS?
721
00:36:43,632 --> 00:36:47,836
THE BOSS GIVES YOU THE VESSEL
HE THINKS YOU CAN HANDLE.
722
00:36:47,836 --> 00:36:51,209
YOU MUST BE
A REAL MORON.
723
00:36:51,209 --> 00:36:54,883
[LAUGHING]
724
00:36:54,883 --> 00:36:56,745
DMV!
725
00:36:56,745 --> 00:37:01,219
HAVE A NICE DAY.
726
00:37:06,495 --> 00:37:09,428
YOU'RE STILL MAD.
727
00:37:09,428 --> 00:37:11,530
YEAH. RIGHT.
OF COURSE YOU ARE.
728
00:37:11,530 --> 00:37:14,963
I SNAPPED AT YOU
LIKE A JERK
AT THE HOSPITAL.
729
00:37:14,963 --> 00:37:16,405
LOOK, ANDI.
730
00:37:16,405 --> 00:37:18,567
I'M REALLY SORRY, OK,
731
00:37:18,567 --> 00:37:21,470
AND I UNDERSTAND IF YOU DON'T
WANT TO TALK TO ME ANYMORE,
732
00:37:21,470 --> 00:37:24,373
BUT I REALLY HOPE YOU WILL
BECAUSE MY LIFE
733
00:37:24,373 --> 00:37:29,518
WOULD SUCK EVEN MORE
IF WE WEREN'T FRIENDS.
734
00:37:32,621 --> 00:37:35,384
LOOK. I KNOW IT WAS
A HORRIBLE DAY.
735
00:37:35,384 --> 00:37:37,255
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
736
00:37:37,255 --> 00:37:40,389
AH, I HAVEN'T
WRECKED IT YET.
737
00:37:40,389 --> 00:37:42,291
OH, GOOD.
YEAH.
738
00:37:42,291 --> 00:37:43,732
WHAT DOES
THIS SYMBOL MEAN?
739
00:37:43,732 --> 00:37:46,635
IT SAYS, "BALA."
IT'S SANSKRIT
FOR "STRENGTH."
740
00:37:46,635 --> 00:37:49,267
I DON'T KNOW.
WHEN I SAW IT,
I THOUGHT OF YOU...
741
00:37:49,267 --> 00:37:52,371
AND, BY THE WAY,
I DON'T THINK YOU'RE
A LOSER, SAM.
742
00:37:52,371 --> 00:37:55,674
I LIKE YOU.
I LOVE WORKING
WITH YOU GUYS.
743
00:37:55,674 --> 00:38:01,480
YOU KNOW, EVER SINCE
MY DAD DIED...
744
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:06,415
MY JOB IS THE BEST
THING IN MY LIFE,
IS ALL I'M SAYING.
745
00:38:06,415 --> 00:38:08,887
PATHETIC, RIGHT?
746
00:38:08,887 --> 00:38:11,590
NOTHING ABOUT YOU
IS PATHETIC, ANDI.
747
00:38:11,590 --> 00:38:15,464
Devil: OH, THAT WAS SUCH
A TENDER MOMENT...FOR REAL.
748
00:38:15,464 --> 00:38:19,568
UM, CAN I TALK TO YOU
FOR A SECOND, JUST YOU?
749
00:38:19,568 --> 00:38:22,431
OH.
UH, OK.
750
00:38:22,431 --> 00:38:24,002
WHAT IS WRONG
WITH YOU?
751
00:38:24,002 --> 00:38:26,435
SHE'S ADORABLE,
SO SWEET.
752
00:38:26,435 --> 00:38:27,706
STAY AWARE FROM HER.
I SWEAR TO GOD--
753
00:38:27,706 --> 00:38:31,580
SWEAR TO WHO?
LIKE I PLAY
IN THE KIDDIE POOL.
754
00:38:31,580 --> 00:38:34,613
SAM, I JUST WANTED
TO CONGRATULATE YOU.
755
00:38:34,613 --> 00:38:35,784
GREAT JOB
WITH THE ARSONIST.
756
00:38:35,784 --> 00:38:38,447
YOU'LL BE HAPPY TO KNOW
HE'S RIGHT BACK
WHERE HE BELONGS
757
00:38:38,447 --> 00:38:40,919
GETTING HIS NUTS
BURNED OFF FOR ETERNITY.
758
00:38:40,919 --> 00:38:42,491
WHO'S THE HERO, HUH?
YEAH.
759
00:38:42,491 --> 00:38:45,724
YOU'RE THE HERO, MAN.
PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK.
760
00:38:45,724 --> 00:38:50,799
HA HA!
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU--
761
00:38:50,799 --> 00:38:53,962
A VESSEL
FOR THE NEXT FUGITIVE.
762
00:38:53,962 --> 00:38:56,034
SO, I HAVE TO DO
THIS FOREVER.
763
00:38:56,034 --> 00:38:57,005
WELL, YEAH.
764
00:38:57,005 --> 00:38:59,368
WELL, I MEAN,
TECHNICALLY, NOT FOREVER.
765
00:38:59,368 --> 00:39:01,440
YOU'RE DONE
WHEN YOU DIE, RIGHT?
766
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:03,872
HUH? HA HA HA!
HEY, COME ON.
767
00:39:03,872 --> 00:39:05,043
I JUST BOUGHT
A BUNCH OF CRAP
768
00:39:05,043 --> 00:39:07,476
AND GAVE YOU THE SALE
FOR THE CONTEST.
769
00:39:07,476 --> 00:39:11,820
YOU'RE GONNA WIN
THAT HAM, MAN.
770
00:39:11,820 --> 00:39:14,483
THAT WAS NICE.
771
00:39:14,483 --> 00:39:18,026
I CAN BE NICE.
772
00:39:21,089 --> 00:39:22,090
HI.
773
00:39:22,090 --> 00:39:24,833
[INDISTINCT]
774
00:39:34,503 --> 00:39:36,374
YOU KNOW, I'M NOT
REALLY ANGRY.
775
00:39:36,374 --> 00:39:37,606
THIS IS PRETTY GOOD.
776
00:39:37,606 --> 00:39:39,908
THAT'S BECAUSE
IT'S A VICTORY HAM.
777
00:39:39,908 --> 00:39:41,480
YOU SENT A MONSTER
BACK TO HELL, BUDDY.
778
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:45,984
HAM TASTES BETTER
BECAUSE IT'S
THE SPOILS OF VICTORY.
779
00:39:45,984 --> 00:39:48,386
PLUS, IT'S GLAZED.
780
00:39:48,386 --> 00:39:50,419
DO YOU LIKE THAT?
GLAZED? FUNNY, RIGHT?
781
00:39:50,419 --> 00:39:53,592
NO. IT'S JUST, LIKE,
MY MOM AND DAD
782
00:39:53,592 --> 00:39:55,524
SOLD MY SOUL
TO THE DEVIL,
783
00:39:55,524 --> 00:39:57,065
AND I'M HIS
INDENTURED SERVANT.
784
00:39:57,065 --> 00:39:57,926
HOW CRAZY IS THAT?
785
00:39:57,926 --> 00:40:01,570
MY DAD FORGOT TO PICK
ME UP FROM SLEEPAWAY
CAMP FOR 3 DAYS.
786
00:40:01,570 --> 00:40:02,701
HARDLY THE SAME
THING, SOCK.
787
00:40:02,701 --> 00:40:05,774
CAMP WAS OVER, SAM.
HOW SAD IS THAT?
788
00:40:05,774 --> 00:40:09,478
ANYWAY, YOU CAN BLOW
THE WHOLE THING OFF,
IF YOU WANT TO, SAMMY.
789
00:40:09,478 --> 00:40:10,939
JUST TELL THE DEVIL
TO EAT IT.
790
00:40:10,939 --> 00:40:13,582
IF IT'S SOMETHING YOU
DON'T WANT TO DO, THEN
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT.
791
00:40:13,582 --> 00:40:15,984
NO, BUT I THINK I DO.
I THINK I WANT TO.
YEAH?
792
00:40:15,984 --> 00:40:19,748
AFTER ALL THIS, IT'S LIKE
I FEEL LIKE A GROWNUP KIND OF.
793
00:40:19,748 --> 00:40:24,052
I MEAN, KIND OF.
I FEEL RESPONSIBLE NOW.
OH.
794
00:40:24,052 --> 00:40:28,056
WE'LL HELP YOU, SAM.
795
00:40:30,529 --> 00:40:33,161
THANKS, BUDDY.
796
00:40:33,161 --> 00:40:36,204
[BARKING]
56716
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