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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:22,458 --> 00:00:24,124 Hello? 4 00:00:26,125 --> 00:00:27,916 Are you Karl? 5 00:00:28,708 --> 00:00:30,749 I'm Christian. 6 00:00:32,583 --> 00:00:36,582 The guy from Stavanger. Moving to Oslo. 7 00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:43,249 - Why are you moving to Oslo? - To finish my sociology studies. 8 00:00:43,250 --> 00:00:46,166 Sure, but why are you moving? 9 00:00:47,458 --> 00:00:51,499 I guess I'm just tired of living at home. 10 00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:53,874 Are you single? 11 00:00:53,875 --> 00:00:55,582 Am I...? 12 00:00:56,875 --> 00:00:58,624 Yes, I am. 13 00:00:59,708 --> 00:01:01,499 Are you gay? 14 00:01:05,250 --> 00:01:06,999 No, I'm not. 15 00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:10,624 You hesitated. Are you sure? 16 00:01:11,333 --> 00:01:13,582 Yes, I'm positive. 17 00:01:13,583 --> 00:01:18,207 Move a little closer. Let me look at your face. 18 00:01:20,875 --> 00:01:22,707 Cool. 19 00:01:24,083 --> 00:01:25,332 Hello? 20 00:01:25,333 --> 00:01:28,791 - Did you have a nice talk? - Yes. Stop nagging! 21 00:01:28,792 --> 00:01:31,541 Where in Oslo are you staying? 22 00:01:31,542 --> 00:01:34,707 - I'm not sure. - Not all parts are safe. 23 00:01:34,708 --> 00:01:36,999 What do you mean? 24 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:40,249 - Do you have a rape alarm? - Shut up! 25 00:01:44,625 --> 00:01:49,957 - Why are you going to Oslo? - To study. How about you? 26 00:01:49,958 --> 00:01:54,416 I'm not going to Oslo. Are you crazy? My little brother is. 27 00:01:54,417 --> 00:01:59,166 You should get better acquainted. It's a long train ride. 28 00:01:59,167 --> 00:02:02,749 Just be yourself and everything will be fine. 29 00:02:02,750 --> 00:02:04,666 I love you. 30 00:02:18,083 --> 00:02:19,791 - Hi. - Hi. 31 00:02:20,625 --> 00:02:24,374 - Are you that guy's little brother? - That's me. 32 00:02:24,375 --> 00:02:29,041 Do you think I could get your brother's phone number? 33 00:02:29,042 --> 00:02:32,207 Yes. Of course. Sure you can. 34 00:02:32,208 --> 00:02:35,916 - Thank you. - That is not a problem. 35 00:02:35,917 --> 00:02:37,624 I got it! 36 00:02:52,375 --> 00:02:54,374 - Hi. - Hi. 37 00:02:55,958 --> 00:03:00,166 - Is this where Karl lives? - Who's asking? 38 00:03:00,625 --> 00:03:04,457 Christian. I think I'm moving in here. 39 00:03:06,333 --> 00:03:07,749 Hi there. Leo. 40 00:03:09,542 --> 00:03:12,166 You're just in time. 41 00:03:12,625 --> 00:03:16,666 - Is that for me? - Sorry, no. It's for Karl. 42 00:03:16,667 --> 00:03:20,916 - Is it his birthday? - Write "100" on that. 43 00:03:27,417 --> 00:03:30,541 - Red towel means "help." - Is he with someone? 44 00:03:31,042 --> 00:03:32,332 Open it. 45 00:03:32,333 --> 00:03:36,457 We can't open the door! What if they're...? 46 00:03:43,708 --> 00:03:45,957 Congratulations! 47 00:03:45,958 --> 00:03:49,999 Leo, you didn't have to bake a cake! 48 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,874 Hey, boss. 49 00:03:51,875 --> 00:03:54,041 Say hi to... 50 00:03:54,042 --> 00:03:56,957 You, say hi to Christian. 51 00:03:59,125 --> 00:04:01,582 Christian. Nice to meet you. 52 00:04:01,583 --> 00:04:04,291 - The hats! - Right. 53 00:04:04,292 --> 00:04:06,291 Cool! 54 00:04:07,292 --> 00:04:09,374 Don't forget to blow. 55 00:04:11,208 --> 00:04:14,332 Is it your birthday, or what? 56 00:04:17,708 --> 00:04:21,332 - Karl, aren't you late for work? - Shit! 57 00:04:21,333 --> 00:04:24,207 I'm a huge fan. I love you. 58 00:04:31,750 --> 00:04:33,707 See you later. 59 00:04:44,917 --> 00:04:48,374 Have you seriously had sex with 100 women? 60 00:04:48,375 --> 00:04:51,207 - Did you catch her name? - Cake lady. 61 00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:54,041 Looks: 7. Sex: 5. 62 00:04:54,042 --> 00:04:56,457 She was a club, I think. Give me a seven of clubs. 63 00:04:56,458 --> 00:04:59,582 I think you've used them up. Hang on. 64 00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:03,166 100 women? How many kids do you have? 65 00:05:03,167 --> 00:05:04,999 On a scale of 1 to 10: 66 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,749 How hairy are your balls? 67 00:05:07,750 --> 00:05:11,624 - Huh? - How many women have you fucked? 68 00:05:11,625 --> 00:05:15,832 - Does that matter? - We'll still love you. 69 00:05:15,833 --> 00:05:17,249 Five... 70 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,291 Six... 71 00:05:19,292 --> 00:05:21,207 ...thousand. 72 00:05:25,500 --> 00:05:31,749 Your doorbell doesn't work. When I pushed the buzzer and tried... 73 00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:36,374 Cool story, bro. We were talking about fucking. 74 00:05:36,375 --> 00:05:39,957 OK, so fucking is all you talk about here? 75 00:05:39,958 --> 00:05:44,832 Freud said that's all people talk about. We're just honest about it. 76 00:05:44,833 --> 00:05:48,582 What about you, Leo? Does that apply to you too? 77 00:05:48,583 --> 00:05:54,291 You've been duped your entire life. Girls don't want boys like you. 78 00:05:54,292 --> 00:05:57,957 But you're our roommate, so we'll help you. 79 00:05:57,958 --> 00:06:02,791 The women won the battle of the sexes. They call all the shots. 80 00:06:02,792 --> 00:06:06,957 Sorry, but we have to shave your balls now. 81 00:06:08,375 --> 00:06:11,124 Christian! Christian... 82 00:06:13,667 --> 00:06:15,499 He seems nice. 83 00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:17,999 Son of a bitch! 84 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:21,957 CRACK, BACK & SACK 85 00:06:55,375 --> 00:06:59,416 You will be presented with certain methods - 86 00:06:59,417 --> 00:07:02,666 - and what those methods are based on. 87 00:07:02,667 --> 00:07:06,541 And you will also learn about scientific writing. 88 00:07:07,083 --> 00:07:10,124 How do we write scientific papers? 89 00:07:11,375 --> 00:07:16,374 In other words, your final thesis should focus on... 90 00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:28,124 OK? Is that clear to everyone? 91 00:07:29,167 --> 00:07:32,124 There are mandatory activities... 92 00:07:55,917 --> 00:07:58,666 - Please... - Problem? 93 00:07:58,667 --> 00:08:02,666 - It doesn't work! - Is this your bachelor thesis? 94 00:08:02,667 --> 00:08:07,707 No, but I have four minutes to get this in, or I'll fail. 95 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:14,457 Thank you! You're my hero! 96 00:08:14,458 --> 00:08:16,582 All I need is a white steed. 97 00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:19,124 - Were you here last year? - No. 98 00:08:19,125 --> 00:08:22,249 This is my first semester in Oslo. 99 00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:25,957 - I live with... - Sorry, I have to go. 100 00:08:25,958 --> 00:08:30,416 But we're going out for beers at The Owlery later. 101 00:08:30,417 --> 00:08:32,666 - Christian. - Hi. Mylian. 102 00:08:33,125 --> 00:08:35,916 - Miriam? - No. Mylian. 103 00:08:35,917 --> 00:08:39,124 - Mylian. - See you later. I have to run. 104 00:08:42,167 --> 00:08:45,082 - You got a new job? - At a nursing home. 105 00:08:45,083 --> 00:08:51,249 - I didn't know that. How is it? - Fine. But those old folks are insane. 106 00:08:51,250 --> 00:08:52,874 Cool. 107 00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:02,374 Cheers. 108 00:09:12,333 --> 00:09:14,374 - Hi. - Hi. 109 00:09:19,458 --> 00:09:21,999 - What is this? - Cake. 110 00:09:22,667 --> 00:09:28,624 Congratulations. You are now officially Oslo's biggest asshole. 111 00:09:28,625 --> 00:09:31,416 - Was it magical? - Don't be jealous. 112 00:09:31,417 --> 00:09:33,707 Chris, come here! 113 00:09:37,458 --> 00:09:42,166 - "Feed the goat"? - What happens if you don't feed it? 114 00:09:42,167 --> 00:09:47,166 - It gets hungry? - First, yes. And then it dies. 115 00:09:47,167 --> 00:09:50,957 But don't worry. Goats are omnivorous. 116 00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:54,457 - We're going out. - Sorry, I have to read. 117 00:09:54,458 --> 00:09:56,082 Awesome! 118 00:09:56,083 --> 00:10:00,582 Our new roommate is an asexual academic. 119 00:10:00,583 --> 00:10:06,207 I like that you label me as asexual because I haven't slept with... 120 00:10:07,042 --> 00:10:12,124 - A thousand million women. - It isn't about the number. 121 00:10:12,833 --> 00:10:16,124 OK, you got me there. It is about the number. 122 00:10:16,125 --> 00:10:21,332 But it's also about radiating sexuality. Look at me, Christian. 123 00:10:21,333 --> 00:10:23,041 Look at this! 124 00:10:23,667 --> 00:10:28,291 I sweat fucking orgies! Come on, take a whiff. 125 00:10:28,292 --> 00:10:32,832 - No, I'm not going to smell you. - Come on. I sweat pussy. 126 00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:35,374 - Want to see my dick? - No. 127 00:10:35,375 --> 00:10:40,082 - I love showing off my dick. - I don't doubt it. 128 00:10:40,083 --> 00:10:42,874 - Just look down. - No. 129 00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:46,166 - And there it is. - Please come out! 130 00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:49,374 You could have one chick licking your balls - 131 00:10:49,375 --> 00:10:53,541 - and one with your "nose" in her mouth. 132 00:10:53,542 --> 00:10:56,082 - Please come out with me! - No. 133 00:10:56,083 --> 00:10:57,999 Fucking loser! 134 00:10:58,833 --> 00:11:01,916 You are the perfect candidate. 135 00:11:02,792 --> 00:11:04,416 For what? 136 00:11:04,417 --> 00:11:09,499 If you do everything I tell you for the next half year, - 137 00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:13,791 - you can easily reach 123. - What's that mean? 138 00:11:14,625 --> 00:11:19,624 Casanova shared his cock with a total of 122 women. 139 00:11:19,625 --> 00:11:23,499 So Karl's goal in life is to ravish 123 women. 140 00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:25,124 Fuck yeah! 141 00:11:25,125 --> 00:11:30,416 Is it possible to get AIDS more than once? Like double-AIDS? 142 00:11:30,417 --> 00:11:36,207 - Let it out, Chris. I've been there. - I haven't known you that long. 143 00:11:36,208 --> 00:11:42,291 But I think you have used all your energy to fuck as much as possible. 144 00:11:42,292 --> 00:11:45,166 I don't think you've slept with 100. 145 00:11:45,167 --> 00:11:49,499 By New Year's Eve, I'm going to celebrate that 123 women - 146 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:52,582 - have been swept away by The Package. 147 00:11:53,083 --> 00:11:55,499 And if you want, - 148 00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:59,166 - we can make a deal right here and fucking now: 149 00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:04,082 If you do everything I say for the next five months, - 150 00:12:04,083 --> 00:12:09,916 - I'll turn you into a man women want to share their sexuality with. 151 00:12:09,917 --> 00:12:14,707 OK, so basically I'll be your slave for a half year... 152 00:12:14,708 --> 00:12:18,582 - Imagine how much you'll learn! - Sorry, bro. 153 00:12:18,583 --> 00:12:20,749 Chris, come on. Chris! 154 00:12:22,708 --> 00:12:24,791 Imagine the power! 155 00:12:25,958 --> 00:12:30,207 - What did he say? - "Imagine the power, Christian!" 156 00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:34,249 I think he loves this image of himself as a sex god. 157 00:12:34,583 --> 00:12:36,791 And you? 158 00:12:36,792 --> 00:12:41,707 - What about me? - Do you want to be seen as a sex god? 159 00:12:43,042 --> 00:12:48,124 I happen to be an atheist, so I don't believe in gods. 160 00:12:48,125 --> 00:12:51,249 But that's a stupid answer. 161 00:12:51,625 --> 00:12:53,332 Honest answer. 162 00:12:54,333 --> 00:12:57,332 Seriously? Yes. I do. 163 00:12:57,333 --> 00:12:58,749 You do? 164 00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:03,166 You want me to view you as a sex god? 165 00:13:03,833 --> 00:13:05,499 Why? 166 00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:14,332 According to Aristotle, being sexually active is a virtue. 167 00:13:14,333 --> 00:13:17,207 So according to virtue ethics... 168 00:13:17,208 --> 00:13:20,374 Come on, no sneaky philosophical answers. 169 00:13:20,375 --> 00:13:25,582 A sneaky question deserves a sneaky answer. Tit for tat. 170 00:13:26,917 --> 00:13:30,832 Are you coming to The Owlery tonight? 171 00:13:30,833 --> 00:13:33,541 I was planning on reading. 172 00:13:34,250 --> 00:13:35,749 Are you going? 173 00:13:35,750 --> 00:13:37,874 Yes. With you. 174 00:13:41,042 --> 00:13:44,499 - All right. Maybe. - Not maybe. Join me. 175 00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:51,374 And I'll tell all my girlfriends what a sex god you are. 176 00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:54,957 They already know. 177 00:13:54,958 --> 00:13:57,916 I sent out a group e-mail. 178 00:13:57,917 --> 00:14:02,874 If you have any intention of passing on your genes, be careful. 179 00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:07,291 "Mylian" sounds like something from Lord of the Rings. 180 00:14:07,292 --> 00:14:12,207 I hereby forbid you to think about Mulan... Mylian... Muliano. 181 00:14:12,583 --> 00:14:16,207 - Why? - Because you like her. 182 00:14:16,208 --> 00:14:19,874 I can't talk to her because I like her? 183 00:14:19,875 --> 00:14:24,749 Like her as much as you want, just stop caring so much. 184 00:14:25,792 --> 00:14:29,666 Mylion... Muylita... Muyliano... 185 00:14:30,833 --> 00:14:34,457 Sounds like a French porn actress. 186 00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:36,832 She may not even like me. 187 00:14:39,292 --> 00:14:43,499 Can we talk about something else? Forget it! 188 00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:46,582 Don't worry. They'll calm down, mom. 189 00:15:11,417 --> 00:15:13,249 Dick or sack? 190 00:15:13,250 --> 00:15:15,832 - What? - Dick or sack? 191 00:15:18,208 --> 00:15:19,749 - Sack? - Dick. 192 00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:21,957 - It was dick. - OK. 193 00:15:31,083 --> 00:15:32,999 Dick or sack? 194 00:15:35,458 --> 00:15:37,624 Sack. 195 00:15:37,625 --> 00:15:40,457 - What the hell is that? - Huh? 196 00:15:40,458 --> 00:15:44,749 What is that? Your dick is supposed to be a reward. 197 00:15:44,750 --> 00:15:47,624 That looks like a fucking punishment. 198 00:15:47,625 --> 00:15:49,332 Dick or sack? 199 00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:52,207 - Dick. - Sack. 200 00:15:52,208 --> 00:15:57,249 People go out to get pussy. We go out to give dick. 201 00:15:59,042 --> 00:16:01,082 - Hello, boys. - Hi! 202 00:16:01,083 --> 00:16:03,999 - This is Christian. - Elisa. 203 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:09,457 He may seem shy, but once you get his clothes off, he's a monster. 204 00:16:09,458 --> 00:16:11,707 Like the Hulk? 205 00:16:11,708 --> 00:16:15,541 I like to call myself the Incredible Spunk. 206 00:16:19,292 --> 00:16:21,791 That was really bad. 207 00:16:25,667 --> 00:16:28,957 Chicks consider me a good lay, period. 208 00:16:28,958 --> 00:16:34,291 We don't realize that you're just using us as hot sex objects. 209 00:16:35,167 --> 00:16:38,041 Let me know if you feel abused. 210 00:16:38,042 --> 00:16:40,582 Don't you worry about that. 211 00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:43,249 Nobody can abuse the Spunk. 212 00:16:45,625 --> 00:16:48,999 - Are you all right? - Yes. I'm fine. 213 00:16:49,792 --> 00:16:54,041 But you really have to stop saying Spunk. 214 00:16:54,042 --> 00:16:56,874 I'll do my best. 215 00:16:56,875 --> 00:17:01,291 - Elisa, where are we going? - It's your party. 216 00:17:01,292 --> 00:17:06,166 Let's go to The Owlery. Good prices, good people. 217 00:17:06,167 --> 00:17:10,291 Fuck it! The Party Prince has spoken. 218 00:17:10,292 --> 00:17:12,666 One last round of champagne? 219 00:17:41,708 --> 00:17:43,791 - Has she called? - Huh? 220 00:17:43,792 --> 00:17:46,291 - Has she called? - No, not yet. 221 00:17:46,292 --> 00:17:51,957 - Have you texted her? - Three times. She hasn't responded. 222 00:17:52,542 --> 00:17:57,166 Trust me. Don't send any more. You'll just seem pushy. 223 00:17:57,167 --> 00:17:59,374 Now you sound like Karl. 224 00:17:59,375 --> 00:18:04,291 I hate to admit it, but sometimes he's actually right. 225 00:18:08,125 --> 00:18:09,707 Fuck it. 226 00:18:09,708 --> 00:18:12,166 - I'm leaving. - No, no! 227 00:18:12,167 --> 00:18:17,749 Do you realize how easy it is to hook up here? These hippies are starving. 228 00:18:17,750 --> 00:18:20,207 - Some other time. - I'm serious! 229 00:18:20,208 --> 00:18:24,666 They don't care if your balls aren't shaved, as long as your face is. 230 00:18:24,667 --> 00:18:28,416 Some other time. I'll see you later. 231 00:18:28,417 --> 00:18:31,249 - Christian... - See you later. 232 00:18:32,625 --> 00:18:37,124 Chris, could you bring Elisa home? She has to get to bed. 233 00:18:37,125 --> 00:18:41,874 - Bring Elisa home, Christian. - I don't want to get puked on. 234 00:18:41,875 --> 00:18:44,749 Fuck you! What time is it? 235 00:18:54,958 --> 00:18:58,499 I'm OK. I can take your shoes. 236 00:18:58,500 --> 00:19:02,624 - Up you go! - You're a good person. 237 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:10,332 You aren't going to rape me, are you? 238 00:19:10,333 --> 00:19:14,416 No, I am definitely not going to rape you. 239 00:19:14,417 --> 00:19:17,332 - Come on. - That's swell of you. 240 00:19:18,125 --> 00:19:20,749 Can you make it from here? 241 00:19:20,750 --> 00:19:23,624 - Great. OK. Bye. - Bye. 242 00:21:17,375 --> 00:21:19,374 Rise and shine, Karl! 243 00:21:19,375 --> 00:21:24,082 Oh, shit. My alarm didn't ring. I have to get to work. 244 00:21:28,375 --> 00:21:30,457 See you later. 245 00:21:39,208 --> 00:21:40,957 You live here? 246 00:21:42,167 --> 00:21:44,041 Were you... 247 00:21:45,625 --> 00:21:49,499 - Were you out late last night? - Yeah. 248 00:21:49,500 --> 00:21:51,624 Real late. 249 00:21:55,750 --> 00:22:00,291 Are you hungry? I could make some chicken. 250 00:22:00,292 --> 00:22:04,249 No thanks, I'm not that hungry. I should leave. 251 00:22:04,667 --> 00:22:07,041 Do you have all your things? 252 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,707 But... 253 00:22:11,917 --> 00:22:14,249 - See you later? - Yeah. 254 00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:16,457 I'll give you a call, OK? 255 00:22:34,750 --> 00:22:36,499 She was cute. 256 00:22:38,417 --> 00:22:40,791 So fucking - 257 00:22:41,375 --> 00:22:43,499 - tight. 258 00:22:45,333 --> 00:22:49,666 - But not worthy of breakfast? - She snored. 259 00:22:49,667 --> 00:22:56,041 Or, she made these sleeping sounds. Some sort of weird breathing. 260 00:22:56,042 --> 00:22:58,166 What was her name? 261 00:22:59,708 --> 00:23:01,166 I can't remember. 262 00:23:01,625 --> 00:23:03,541 Just feeding the goat. 263 00:23:05,208 --> 00:23:07,332 She was hot. 264 00:23:07,333 --> 00:23:09,916 A little boring in bed. 265 00:23:57,833 --> 00:23:59,291 Dick or sack? 266 00:24:01,083 --> 00:24:03,082 - Dick. - Nope. 267 00:24:04,667 --> 00:24:07,416 - Of course it is. - Nope. 268 00:24:29,708 --> 00:24:31,957 - OK. - What? 269 00:24:31,958 --> 00:24:34,541 - I'm in. - In on what? 270 00:24:34,542 --> 00:24:36,291 Teach me. 271 00:24:37,417 --> 00:24:40,666 - It'll be hectic. - And painful. 272 00:24:40,667 --> 00:24:46,124 Nagging, grumpy neighbors, hangovers... It'll be legendary! 273 00:24:46,125 --> 00:24:51,874 Are you ready to become a charming asshole that girls want to sleep with? 274 00:24:51,875 --> 00:24:54,041 You bet your ass! 275 00:24:54,583 --> 00:24:59,082 - Ouch! Shit! - We are a low caste, but we rebel. 276 00:24:59,083 --> 00:25:03,624 The Oslo and Surrounding Area Fucking Caste. 277 00:25:04,375 --> 00:25:06,541 One day, Chris... 278 00:25:06,542 --> 00:25:09,624 One day this will all be yours. 279 00:25:18,042 --> 00:25:21,666 - The first girl you had sex with? - Susann. 280 00:25:21,667 --> 00:25:25,249 - We had sex on a slope. - Susann. 281 00:25:25,250 --> 00:25:30,249 - She screwed Terje the same night. - Fuck her. She's probably obese now. 282 00:25:30,250 --> 00:25:34,624 The second time, are you sure there was full penetration? 283 00:25:34,625 --> 00:25:37,124 Pretty sure. I think. 284 00:25:37,125 --> 00:25:41,041 The head of your penis inside at least once? 285 00:25:41,042 --> 00:25:44,249 - I'm pretty sure it was. - Pimp! 286 00:25:49,500 --> 00:25:52,124 That's pretty impressive. 287 00:25:52,125 --> 00:25:57,707 Don't worry. By New Year's you'll be way up here. 288 00:25:57,708 --> 00:26:02,707 - I can guarantee at least five. - Three more? In three months? 289 00:26:02,708 --> 00:26:08,041 Before New Year's you'll be at five and I'll be at 123. 290 00:26:11,667 --> 00:26:13,749 What's on your mind? 291 00:26:14,375 --> 00:26:19,957 This may sound stupid, but what happened to just "being yourself"? 292 00:26:21,625 --> 00:26:26,416 OK, Chris, your mother raised you to be nice and sweet. 293 00:26:26,917 --> 00:26:32,832 And worst of all, to be yourself. What if "yourself" isn't good enough? 294 00:26:32,833 --> 00:26:37,707 What if "yourself" is a boring, ugly nerd? 295 00:26:37,708 --> 00:26:41,291 If you smell bad, take a shower. 296 00:26:41,292 --> 00:26:45,499 If there's a dead whore in your living room, get rid of her. 297 00:26:45,500 --> 00:26:48,541 Adaptation is as natural as evolution. 298 00:26:48,542 --> 00:26:54,999 "Yourself" is a term for losers who sit at home whacking off. Agreed? 299 00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:57,291 - Yes. - Pimp. 300 00:26:58,083 --> 00:26:59,999 For starters: 301 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:05,166 It's essential that you control every social situation. 302 00:27:05,542 --> 00:27:10,874 It helps if you're wealthy or have a magical penis like Leo, - 303 00:27:10,875 --> 00:27:15,291 - but all it comes down to is how you communicate. 304 00:27:15,292 --> 00:27:21,332 Most girls think that a set number of boys are their perfect match. 305 00:27:21,333 --> 00:27:25,124 And that's fine. We can take advantage of that. 306 00:27:25,125 --> 00:27:31,499 Get as close to her physically as possible, without it being awkward. 307 00:27:31,500 --> 00:27:37,457 You're a little too close to Leo now, but look how close I am to you. 308 00:27:37,458 --> 00:27:41,749 With indirect body language, I can get much closer. 309 00:27:41,750 --> 00:27:46,457 But what if I go like this? "Hey, can I buy you a drink?" 310 00:27:46,458 --> 00:27:50,749 - Touch everyone, even boys. - You mean grope? 311 00:27:50,750 --> 00:27:55,082 No, don't grope. Create physical closeness. 312 00:27:55,083 --> 00:27:58,249 Always touch them in a natural manner. 313 00:27:58,250 --> 00:28:01,957 She'll never want you to play with her pussy, - 314 00:28:01,958 --> 00:28:06,582 - unless you've played with her arms and shoulders first. 315 00:28:07,208 --> 00:28:13,124 Analyze who they are with. All other boys are considered enemies. 316 00:28:13,125 --> 00:28:17,291 More on that later. What do you see over there? 317 00:28:17,292 --> 00:28:19,041 - Two girls. - Wrong. 318 00:28:19,042 --> 00:28:22,499 A hot girl with an ugly girlfriend. 319 00:28:27,750 --> 00:28:30,541 Ready? What's she look like? 320 00:28:30,542 --> 00:28:33,707 Huh? Right. She has a white shirt... 321 00:28:33,708 --> 00:28:36,749 Wrong! She's naked on top of you! 322 00:28:50,750 --> 00:28:54,999 Hi, you look great! How's it going? 323 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:57,082 How do you know Karl? 324 00:28:57,083 --> 00:28:58,749 Who? 325 00:29:04,250 --> 00:29:09,374 Three-second rule: Talk to someone you like within three seconds. 326 00:29:09,375 --> 00:29:13,666 - What should I say? - It's all about the delivery. 327 00:29:17,333 --> 00:29:21,916 Hi! This is my roommate. The coolest guy in the world. 328 00:29:21,917 --> 00:29:23,457 Hi. Tove. 329 00:29:23,458 --> 00:29:27,999 Tove is a nurse, but she's terrified of shots. 330 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:29,749 Cool! 331 00:29:33,042 --> 00:29:36,207 So... why are you so afraid of shots? 332 00:29:38,458 --> 00:29:42,249 I probably got scared when I was a kid, or something. 333 00:29:42,250 --> 00:29:45,916 - We aren't actually roommates. - Who? 334 00:29:45,917 --> 00:29:48,749 Me and... Me and Karl. 335 00:29:48,750 --> 00:29:53,791 I mean, we live together. In the same apartment. 336 00:29:54,417 --> 00:29:58,707 That is, I moved in. From Stavanger. 337 00:29:58,875 --> 00:30:01,624 You have beautiful eyes. 338 00:30:02,125 --> 00:30:03,999 Thank you. 339 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,374 I'm a little thirsty. 340 00:30:09,792 --> 00:30:12,457 - What would you like? - Strawberry daiquiri. 341 00:30:12,458 --> 00:30:15,457 One strawberry daggery. 342 00:30:16,042 --> 00:30:20,832 I was wondering. Could I have your phone number? 343 00:30:20,833 --> 00:30:23,999 - I don't know... - You have a boyfriend? 344 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:25,624 - No. - You don't? 345 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:28,707 Come on. 346 00:30:29,125 --> 00:30:30,916 Let's have it. 347 00:30:35,667 --> 00:30:37,499 But... 348 00:30:37,500 --> 00:30:43,082 I have to work early tomorrow. I should probably get going. 349 00:30:47,375 --> 00:30:51,874 - What was that? - A free drink and some attention. 350 00:30:51,875 --> 00:30:54,916 - Never start by buying them a drink. - I didn't! 351 00:30:54,917 --> 00:30:56,291 You did. 352 00:30:56,292 --> 00:31:01,416 She just lumped you together with the rest of the goats. 353 00:31:01,417 --> 00:31:06,041 You elevated her way above you. She should buy you a drink. 354 00:31:08,750 --> 00:31:10,916 - How did it go? - I got her number. 355 00:31:10,917 --> 00:31:12,916 Let me see! 356 00:31:16,250 --> 00:31:19,541 What did you do? What should I say? 357 00:31:19,542 --> 00:31:22,791 Say hi. Invite her up here, or something. 358 00:31:22,792 --> 00:31:24,541 Hello? 359 00:31:27,083 --> 00:31:30,791 - What happened? - It was an old folks' home. 360 00:31:30,792 --> 00:31:35,499 - It was the night watchman. - Don't worry about it. 361 00:31:35,917 --> 00:31:39,916 She's a nurse. It was probably her work number. 362 00:31:50,042 --> 00:31:54,916 Holy crap, Karl! You still have your dildo collection? 363 00:31:54,917 --> 00:31:57,207 I told you I did. 364 00:31:57,208 --> 00:32:01,166 This is Nils. This is Johnny, who resembles Leo's. 365 00:32:01,167 --> 00:32:04,207 Flicky, and Big Jim. 366 00:32:05,333 --> 00:32:07,166 Perfect. 367 00:32:13,167 --> 00:32:16,832 Leo's about to fuck that girl. 368 00:32:16,833 --> 00:32:20,541 Hearing other people have sex makes chicks horny. 369 00:32:20,542 --> 00:32:23,457 That's when we strike. I'll take Guro. 370 00:32:23,458 --> 00:32:27,332 That Filipino chick goes crazy once she's naked. 371 00:32:27,333 --> 00:32:28,957 Or so I've heard. 372 00:32:28,958 --> 00:32:31,249 - Are you in? - Sure. 373 00:32:37,250 --> 00:32:39,124 Here we go! 374 00:33:22,250 --> 00:33:26,207 Imagine if we ended up on a desert island. 375 00:33:26,208 --> 00:33:31,166 That would suck. I have to leave now. See you later. 376 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:46,457 - How long before you go over to her? - Three seconds tops. 377 00:33:46,458 --> 00:33:49,041 And if she asks for a drink? 378 00:33:49,042 --> 00:33:53,082 Politely decline, and try to get her to buy me one. 379 00:33:53,083 --> 00:33:57,291 Excellent. We've fed you a lot of information. 380 00:33:57,292 --> 00:34:02,249 All that's important now, is that you're totally relaxed. 381 00:34:21,750 --> 00:34:24,332 - Hi! - Hi. 382 00:34:40,875 --> 00:34:43,999 - Sorry. - Don't worry about it. 383 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,999 I didn't know what to say. 384 00:34:49,042 --> 00:34:51,541 - Hi, I'm Leo. - Hi, Leo. 385 00:34:51,542 --> 00:34:55,499 - Have you met Christian? - Hi. Christian. 386 00:34:55,500 --> 00:34:58,791 We went to music kindergarten together. 387 00:34:58,792 --> 00:35:03,666 He's the only person I know who plays rhythm sticks off-key. 388 00:35:03,667 --> 00:35:05,332 Feed the goat. 389 00:35:05,333 --> 00:35:10,124 Leo played this little mini guitar while I sang. 390 00:35:10,125 --> 00:35:15,207 The kindergarten teachers threw their bras at us. 391 00:35:15,208 --> 00:35:18,791 - What did you want to become? - A stewardess. 392 00:35:27,208 --> 00:35:30,416 - What was that? - That can happen to anyone. 393 00:35:30,417 --> 00:35:31,916 What do I do now? 394 00:35:35,958 --> 00:35:39,124 - Fuck it. Take her back. - Are you nuts? 395 00:35:39,125 --> 00:35:43,832 Trust me. Just go right over there and kiss her. 396 00:35:43,833 --> 00:35:47,541 - Are you sure... - Shut up. Go for the kiss. 397 00:36:03,500 --> 00:36:08,082 What the hell do you think you're doing, snail dick? 398 00:36:10,917 --> 00:36:12,832 Good work, boss! 399 00:36:17,417 --> 00:36:19,416 What the hell? 400 00:36:20,458 --> 00:36:26,041 - Hang on, let me kill this faggot. - He's with me. I told him to do it. 401 00:36:26,042 --> 00:36:28,666 Really? Nice to meet you. 402 00:36:29,542 --> 00:36:32,749 I'm The Punisher. Let's get a drink. 403 00:36:37,958 --> 00:36:40,374 Karl may seem cynical. 404 00:36:40,833 --> 00:36:46,207 But compared to The Punisher he's a study in refined style. 405 00:36:46,208 --> 00:36:52,291 That goat has a constant hard-on. He won't stop until he gets laid. 406 00:36:53,250 --> 00:36:56,374 And when he eventually does score, - 407 00:36:56,375 --> 00:37:00,082 - he always tries to butt-fuck the girl. 408 00:37:00,083 --> 00:37:03,832 He feels they deserve it for playing hard to get. 409 00:37:03,833 --> 00:37:06,957 Thus the name, The Punisher. 410 00:37:11,792 --> 00:37:14,124 It's a fucking war out there. 411 00:37:14,125 --> 00:37:16,082 A war? 412 00:37:16,083 --> 00:37:18,082 - Hi there! - Hi! 413 00:37:18,083 --> 00:37:21,041 It's great to see you again. 414 00:37:21,042 --> 00:37:24,416 Last time was a little embarrassing. 415 00:37:24,417 --> 00:37:28,249 You have nothing to be embarrassed about. 416 00:37:28,250 --> 00:37:32,499 But you did propose to me, so we are engaged. 417 00:37:33,083 --> 00:37:35,041 You said yes? 418 00:37:35,042 --> 00:37:38,666 Nyah. I said I'd think about it. 419 00:37:38,667 --> 00:37:42,374 - Hi. Good to see you again. - Hi! 420 00:37:42,375 --> 00:37:45,624 - Hi. Line. - Hi. Kine. 421 00:37:45,625 --> 00:37:48,707 - Kine and Trine? - Kine and Line. 422 00:37:48,708 --> 00:37:50,874 Gotta keep my dick straight. 423 00:40:32,708 --> 00:40:34,457 Hey... 424 00:40:35,708 --> 00:40:37,832 Is it OK if we just... 425 00:40:37,833 --> 00:40:40,291 Sure. Of course. 426 00:41:43,667 --> 00:41:48,999 I'm not the type to stick my finger up girls' asses on the dance floor. 427 00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:53,041 The Punisher's just messing around. 428 00:41:53,042 --> 00:41:58,749 Why do girls go home with cavemen who use their dicks like clubs? 429 00:41:59,208 --> 00:42:00,957 I don't get it. 430 00:42:01,917 --> 00:42:05,666 Aren't you working on a degree in sociology? 431 00:42:05,667 --> 00:42:09,666 You're the scholar here. Figure it out. 432 00:42:23,833 --> 00:42:26,249 Equal rights in Norway 433 00:42:45,083 --> 00:42:47,791 "My Crack, Back & Shaven Sack." 434 00:42:47,792 --> 00:42:51,582 "The division of power between the sexes - 435 00:42:51,583 --> 00:42:54,291 - in today's post-feminist society." 436 00:42:54,292 --> 00:42:59,916 - What's it about? - It's about living in Norway in 2013. 437 00:43:00,958 --> 00:43:02,457 With a penis. 438 00:43:03,500 --> 00:43:05,457 Is that a bad thing? 439 00:43:05,458 --> 00:43:10,291 In Norway today, women live five years longer than men. 440 00:43:10,292 --> 00:43:13,582 Nine out of ten jail inmates are men. 441 00:43:13,583 --> 00:43:17,416 Three of four suicides. We have military service. 442 00:43:17,417 --> 00:43:22,749 Men are overrepresented when it comes to accidents, drowning, - 443 00:43:22,750 --> 00:43:24,916 - drunkenness, depression. 444 00:43:24,917 --> 00:43:29,416 In nine of ten divorces, the women get the children. 445 00:43:29,417 --> 00:43:33,582 Women get better grades than men in 90 %% of courses. 446 00:43:33,583 --> 00:43:37,832 And women have all the power in the gender market. 447 00:43:37,833 --> 00:43:43,749 - We were oppressed for 60,000 years. - But I'm talking about today. 448 00:43:44,333 --> 00:43:48,582 - So now you're the oppressed ones? - Yes. 449 00:43:48,583 --> 00:43:52,999 Everyone can see it, but women are still portrayed as the victims. 450 00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:56,457 Just because there are fewer female leaders. 451 00:43:56,458 --> 00:43:58,707 So why are fewer leaders female? 452 00:43:58,708 --> 00:44:05,582 Because being the CEO of Statoil is a shit job that no one really wants. 453 00:44:05,583 --> 00:44:08,749 Unless you're a narcissistic bastard that loves pussy. 454 00:44:08,750 --> 00:44:10,791 - And money. - And power. 455 00:44:10,792 --> 00:44:14,041 And what do you use that money and power for? 456 00:44:14,042 --> 00:44:18,457 To drink champagne out of the ass of some hot heiress. 457 00:44:18,458 --> 00:44:23,707 I'm not sure it's as lopsided as you make it sound. 458 00:44:23,708 --> 00:44:27,541 Chris, tonight I'm taking you to Nirvana. 459 00:44:40,208 --> 00:44:45,749 Are we picking up lesbians? This place is full of homos. 460 00:44:45,750 --> 00:44:50,624 Relax. Savor the atmosphere. How many desperate men do you see? 461 00:44:50,625 --> 00:44:55,832 How many grumpy girls yelling at some guy for making a move? 462 00:44:57,875 --> 00:45:02,582 - I've never been to a gay bar. - You're treated like a human here. 463 00:45:02,583 --> 00:45:05,874 It's a great place to hang out and relax. 464 00:45:05,875 --> 00:45:10,041 Here, any one man is worth as much as another. 465 00:45:11,833 --> 00:45:13,541 Look at that guy. 466 00:45:14,625 --> 00:45:19,832 Jesus, another ten shots, and he could have me fooled. 467 00:45:21,500 --> 00:45:25,041 Have you ever done it? With a man? 468 00:45:26,375 --> 00:45:28,874 It isn't my cup of tea. 469 00:45:28,875 --> 00:45:30,749 - How about you? - Right! 470 00:45:31,375 --> 00:45:35,582 I'm 24 years old and have had sex with two women. 471 00:45:35,583 --> 00:45:40,457 I'm due a little more pussy before I switch to cock and ass. 472 00:45:40,458 --> 00:45:42,624 Did I hear "ass"? 473 00:45:44,542 --> 00:45:47,291 - Mind if we join you? - Not at all! 474 00:45:49,625 --> 00:45:52,999 Ten shots. You said ten shots. 475 00:45:55,042 --> 00:45:57,832 - Cheers! - Cumshots! 476 00:46:02,875 --> 00:46:05,082 OK! Hang on... 477 00:46:05,083 --> 00:46:08,916 Christian, bring those two girls home. 478 00:46:08,917 --> 00:46:13,666 Can't we just pretend like we're gay tonight? 479 00:46:13,667 --> 00:46:16,999 - Not a chance. Go! - Christian! 480 00:46:17,708 --> 00:46:20,791 Hi, excuse me for interrupting. 481 00:46:20,792 --> 00:46:26,832 Could I just stand here and pretend like I'm picking you up? 482 00:46:26,833 --> 00:46:31,416 Just until my friend is satisfied? He won't stop nagging. 483 00:46:31,417 --> 00:46:33,624 - Of course. - Cool. 484 00:46:34,667 --> 00:46:38,624 Quite the pressure. Could I bum a cigarette? 485 00:46:38,625 --> 00:46:42,124 - Where are we going now? - My place! 486 00:46:42,125 --> 00:46:45,416 - Isn't he coming? - No, he has things to do. 487 00:46:45,417 --> 00:46:47,041 How old are you? 488 00:46:47,042 --> 00:46:48,749 58. 489 00:46:48,750 --> 00:46:50,582 And you? 490 00:46:50,583 --> 00:46:53,207 - What do you think? - 16. 491 00:47:35,250 --> 00:47:37,457 - Hi. - Shh! 492 00:47:39,792 --> 00:47:43,041 - Are you in here? - Who is that? 493 00:47:45,542 --> 00:47:47,457 Hi. I'm Christian. 494 00:47:49,375 --> 00:47:53,207 Have you eaten? Why don't I make breakfast? 495 00:47:53,208 --> 00:47:54,916 No, I'm fine. 496 00:47:55,542 --> 00:47:59,749 Where are the car keys, mom? I'm meeting Kaja. 497 00:47:59,750 --> 00:48:03,332 - You can drive Christian home. - Seriously? 498 00:48:03,333 --> 00:48:06,624 No, really. Don't worry about me. 499 00:48:06,625 --> 00:48:10,041 - It's the least we can do. - I'll take the tram. 500 00:48:31,667 --> 00:48:34,791 - Talk to me. - What? 501 00:48:34,792 --> 00:48:37,999 No bullshit. Have you fucked? 502 00:48:42,458 --> 00:48:44,207 Yes! 503 00:48:46,125 --> 00:48:47,499 Fuck! 504 00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:56,457 What the hell is going on? 505 00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:03,082 - Did you get laid? - Like a madman! 506 00:49:03,083 --> 00:49:06,374 - She was pretty old. - Shut up! Women age like wine! 507 00:49:06,375 --> 00:49:09,166 I'm proud of you. Well done. 508 00:49:09,875 --> 00:49:13,207 Chris, stand up. Stand up! 509 00:49:15,292 --> 00:49:19,832 I hereby appoint you as Oslo Fuck Club's - 510 00:49:19,833 --> 00:49:23,082 - first official Big Cat. 511 00:49:24,875 --> 00:49:26,874 For the one of us who, - 512 00:49:26,875 --> 00:49:30,957 - at any given time, last fucked a new chick. 513 00:49:34,208 --> 00:49:36,124 OK, fuck it. 514 00:49:36,125 --> 00:49:39,957 You have been fantastic. You too, Leo. 515 00:49:39,958 --> 00:49:45,707 I'll admit it. I've been holding back. But that's over now. 516 00:49:45,708 --> 00:49:51,999 Now it's all about cock, pussy, S&M in the woods and fucking lesbians. 517 00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:54,541 Try stopping me, Middle Cat. 518 00:49:54,542 --> 00:49:57,166 - Burn! - Shut up, Baby Cat! 519 00:49:57,167 --> 00:49:59,166 Come on. Maja! 520 00:49:59,583 --> 00:50:01,749 Maja! 521 00:50:02,958 --> 00:50:07,249 - Time for a party! - I'll kill your whole family, Karl! 522 00:50:07,750 --> 00:50:12,582 OK. We have six hours to organize the party of the year. 523 00:50:12,583 --> 00:50:15,832 The mother-in-law of all parties. 524 00:50:15,833 --> 00:50:20,874 Chris, you have to find as much alcohol as you possibly can. 525 00:50:20,875 --> 00:50:26,957 Leo, you handle the crazy shit. Here's my card, don't tell me what you buy. 526 00:50:26,958 --> 00:50:33,499 Maja, you call every girl you have ever met in the surrounding area. 527 00:50:33,500 --> 00:50:36,999 - You know more than I do. - He's fucked 90 %% of them. 528 00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:40,916 It would be kind of like Hefner, partying with girls you've screwed. 529 00:50:40,917 --> 00:50:44,041 - Fine, we both score chicks. - Fuck you. 530 00:50:44,042 --> 00:50:46,749 - Excellent. - Maja? 531 00:50:46,750 --> 00:50:50,791 - What if we don't feed the goat? - It gets hungry. 532 00:50:50,792 --> 00:50:52,416 Feed the goat! 533 00:51:25,500 --> 00:51:29,291 - You should get a jacuzzi. - More champagne? 534 00:51:31,583 --> 00:51:33,457 - Hi. - Hi. 535 00:51:36,292 --> 00:51:39,041 I was invited, if... 536 00:51:39,042 --> 00:51:41,582 Of course, no problem. 537 00:51:41,583 --> 00:51:45,999 As long as it's been cleared by the goat. 538 00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:49,166 So... It's good to see you. 539 00:51:49,167 --> 00:51:51,332 Likewise. 540 00:51:51,333 --> 00:51:55,916 - You want something to drink? - I brought my own. 541 00:51:57,667 --> 00:51:59,582 Dick or sack? 542 00:51:59,583 --> 00:52:02,082 - Huh? - Dick or sack? 543 00:52:07,333 --> 00:52:09,332 Sack? 544 00:52:09,333 --> 00:52:11,624 Wrong. It was dick. 545 00:52:12,458 --> 00:52:18,791 I thought you of all people would recognize a dick when you saw one. 546 00:53:06,750 --> 00:53:10,749 Hey, maybe it's time to start calming down? 547 00:53:10,750 --> 00:53:14,207 The goat needs to be fed. It needs to. 548 00:53:14,208 --> 00:53:17,457 Or else the SPCA will get mad at us - 549 00:53:17,458 --> 00:53:21,249 - and all hell will break loose. We don't want that. 550 00:54:35,833 --> 00:54:37,582 Sorry! 551 00:54:42,583 --> 00:54:44,416 Listen... 552 00:54:45,250 --> 00:54:47,457 I should leave now. 553 00:54:47,458 --> 00:54:50,082 Do you want to walk me out? 554 00:54:50,083 --> 00:54:53,082 I just have to say bye to Maja. 555 00:54:53,083 --> 00:54:56,666 Thanks for tonight. It was awesome. 556 00:55:09,125 --> 00:55:14,041 I think it's best for everyone if I go home with you. 557 00:56:43,333 --> 00:56:45,124 Hello! 558 00:56:47,875 --> 00:56:51,666 How are things here? Did I wake you up? 559 00:56:54,625 --> 00:56:57,666 Were you at a party last night? 560 00:57:05,458 --> 00:57:09,124 All right, bye. See you on Sunday. 561 00:57:31,208 --> 00:57:33,124 There you go. 562 00:57:35,625 --> 00:57:37,541 What's your name? 563 00:57:37,542 --> 00:57:39,207 Mads, was it? 564 00:57:40,167 --> 00:57:42,082 Mads is a super name. 565 00:57:43,125 --> 00:57:48,499 How old are you? 566 00:57:48,500 --> 00:57:49,916 One? 567 00:57:49,917 --> 00:57:52,957 - Answer Christian. - Two? 568 00:57:52,958 --> 00:57:55,499 You don't have to answer. 569 00:57:56,667 --> 00:57:57,167 Hello! 570 00:58:09,542 --> 00:58:11,374 You just spilled some. 571 00:58:46,750 --> 00:58:51,207 My first draft is due in early December. 572 00:58:55,458 --> 00:58:57,166 Yeah. 573 00:58:58,750 --> 00:59:01,332 No, that didn't work out. 574 00:59:04,333 --> 00:59:07,541 She ended up in bed with Karl. 575 00:59:08,958 --> 00:59:14,666 No, it wasn't like that. They didn't even know who the other one was. 576 00:59:14,667 --> 00:59:17,166 No, mom. It isn't... 577 00:59:17,167 --> 00:59:20,541 He doesn't even know her name. 578 00:59:20,542 --> 00:59:23,332 Stop. It's no big deal. 579 00:59:23,750 --> 00:59:27,124 Anyway, I have met someone else. 580 00:59:28,167 --> 00:59:30,999 Yeah. Her name is Elisa. 581 00:59:31,500 --> 00:59:33,416 So that's... 582 00:59:33,417 --> 00:59:36,666 Yes, she's very cool. A very cool girl. 583 00:59:42,750 --> 00:59:45,041 Hey, Karl, come here. 584 00:59:48,500 --> 00:59:50,832 - That looks great. - What? 585 00:59:50,833 --> 00:59:54,166 You coming out with us tonight? 586 00:59:54,167 --> 00:59:56,749 Elisa and I are meeting Maja. 587 00:59:56,750 --> 01:00:01,082 You've been hanging out for weeks. Are you an item? 588 01:00:01,500 --> 01:00:03,624 - I don't know. - What's that mean? 589 01:00:03,625 --> 01:00:07,624 It means we enjoy each other's company. 590 01:00:07,625 --> 01:00:10,707 Does it have to be more complicated? 591 01:00:11,167 --> 01:00:14,124 - Are you her boyfriend now? - No. 592 01:00:14,125 --> 01:00:19,624 - You're just getting the hang of this. - You need at least one more. 593 01:00:20,292 --> 01:00:25,374 Why get continually rejected, when I can have fun with Elisa? 594 01:00:25,375 --> 01:00:28,749 OK, I have a plan. Bring Elisa, - 595 01:00:28,750 --> 01:00:32,124 - and score a threesome. She'll be game. 596 01:00:33,208 --> 01:00:38,582 I don't think she's into that. And she has her kid this weekend. 597 01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:41,957 - Elisa has a kid? - How old? 598 01:00:41,958 --> 01:00:43,832 Two, maybe? 599 01:00:44,417 --> 01:00:46,249 Whew! 600 01:00:48,708 --> 01:00:50,416 What? 601 01:00:50,875 --> 01:00:52,332 Hm? 602 01:00:54,375 --> 01:00:56,041 Have you... 603 01:00:57,125 --> 01:00:58,416 When? 604 01:00:58,417 --> 01:01:01,874 Christ, it was like four years ago. 605 01:01:01,875 --> 01:01:06,332 - It was at this crazy after-party. - You too? 606 01:01:06,333 --> 01:01:09,332 We were wasted, or stoned. 607 01:01:09,333 --> 01:01:12,457 It was no big deal. It was just for kicks. 608 01:01:12,458 --> 01:01:17,624 So you and Leo fucked Elisa at the same time? 609 01:01:17,625 --> 01:01:21,582 - Was anyone else involved? - No, just us. 610 01:01:21,583 --> 01:01:27,416 - But, shit, she's smoking hot! - It was just some drunken fun. 611 01:01:38,833 --> 01:01:43,791 She would probably have told you if she wanted you to know. 612 01:01:43,792 --> 01:01:48,749 "By the way, your buddies double-penetrated my ass." 613 01:01:48,750 --> 01:01:54,624 "But I'm done with that now. Let's do it the normal way." 614 01:01:54,625 --> 01:01:56,374 Come on, Christian! 615 01:01:56,375 --> 01:02:01,957 Let's go find the lesbian national yoga team and have an eightsome. 616 01:02:29,833 --> 01:02:32,916 How many have you had sex with? 617 01:02:34,417 --> 01:02:37,916 What kind of a question is that? 618 01:02:37,917 --> 01:02:40,374 I'm just curious. 619 01:02:40,375 --> 01:02:41,999 OK. 620 01:02:43,583 --> 01:02:45,457 34, I think. 621 01:02:46,167 --> 01:02:49,166 Or 33. Something like that. 622 01:02:52,542 --> 01:02:55,874 Have you ever been in a threesome? 623 01:02:55,875 --> 01:02:59,041 Why are you asking me that? 624 01:03:03,250 --> 01:03:07,874 Over there, isn't that that girl you made out with? 625 01:03:09,167 --> 01:03:11,416 Maybe she could join us? 626 01:03:15,500 --> 01:03:19,832 Christ! I thought you were serious for a second. 627 01:03:19,833 --> 01:03:21,791 What do you mean? 628 01:03:22,917 --> 01:03:25,457 What, are you serious? 629 01:03:29,292 --> 01:03:31,541 - OK. - OK? 630 01:03:31,542 --> 01:03:35,249 - So you're up for it? - Yeah, sure. 631 01:03:35,250 --> 01:03:36,999 I don't know. 632 01:03:37,792 --> 01:03:39,541 Or... 633 01:03:39,958 --> 01:03:41,707 No. 634 01:03:42,792 --> 01:03:44,791 Why not? 635 01:03:44,792 --> 01:03:46,416 Because... 636 01:03:46,417 --> 01:03:49,249 Because I don't want to. 637 01:03:53,708 --> 01:03:56,124 How about a foursome? 638 01:03:57,708 --> 01:04:02,666 We can bring in Karl and Leo and all fuck together. 639 01:04:08,167 --> 01:04:09,707 Listen... 640 01:04:09,708 --> 01:04:13,332 That happened ages ago, Christian. 641 01:04:14,333 --> 01:04:19,082 - Why are you being like this? - Like what? 642 01:04:19,083 --> 01:04:23,291 - Like a guy who's into threesomes? - I don't want to. 643 01:04:23,292 --> 01:04:26,707 Why don't you ask how many I have slept with? 644 01:04:27,208 --> 01:04:30,749 - You know there aren't many. - I don't care! 645 01:04:30,750 --> 01:04:35,707 - Why didn't you say something? - I didn't see it as a problem. 646 01:04:35,708 --> 01:04:37,874 This is so typical! 647 01:04:37,875 --> 01:04:42,124 Karl and Leo can fuck around because they're men, but I'm a woman... 648 01:04:42,125 --> 01:04:47,957 I'm not talking about what you have done. I'm talking about us. 649 01:04:48,458 --> 01:04:51,624 You're trying to force me into a fuck orgy! 650 01:04:51,625 --> 01:04:57,291 Fine, since you're beyond all that, let's move in together. 651 01:04:57,292 --> 01:05:02,916 And I can be Mads' substitute dad, since he's so crazy about me! 652 01:05:09,167 --> 01:05:11,166 Don't call me. 653 01:09:58,958 --> 01:10:00,457 Out you go. 654 01:10:04,708 --> 01:10:08,207 You and Kevin Danielsen were arrested. 655 01:10:09,417 --> 01:10:13,582 Kevin who? I don't know a Kevin Danielsen. 656 01:10:13,583 --> 01:10:15,957 You called him - 657 01:10:15,958 --> 01:10:20,207 - The Punisher last night. Do you know him, or not? 658 01:10:20,208 --> 01:10:21,874 I do. 659 01:10:21,875 --> 01:10:28,874 You have been charged with violating Penal Code section 192-A: 660 01:10:28,875 --> 01:10:33,124 "Sexual intercourse accomplished by violence or menace." 661 01:10:33,125 --> 01:10:36,499 "Punishable by up to 10 years in prison." 662 01:10:36,500 --> 01:10:41,749 I suggest you get yourself a lawyer. You will be released... 663 01:11:34,875 --> 01:11:37,332 - Karl! - I told you so! 664 01:11:38,250 --> 01:11:39,957 Up you go! 665 01:11:39,958 --> 01:11:42,791 You doubted your cock. 666 01:11:42,792 --> 01:11:46,957 But you've just fucked with that cock, haven't you? 667 01:11:49,125 --> 01:11:53,582 Five chicks, and it isn't even Christmas yet. Damn I'm good! 668 01:11:53,583 --> 01:11:57,791 You've become a goddam fucking machine! 669 01:11:57,792 --> 01:12:00,374 I have to go get laid. 670 01:12:19,000 --> 01:12:20,832 Christian? 671 01:12:23,083 --> 01:12:25,541 Yes. 672 01:12:25,542 --> 01:12:28,041 - Sandwich? - Excuse me? 673 01:12:28,042 --> 01:12:32,082 - Would you like a sandwich? - No, thanks. 674 01:12:33,417 --> 01:12:36,416 I've looked at what you gave me. 675 01:12:37,000 --> 01:12:42,374 - This shouldn't be a problem. - OK. What does that mean? 676 01:12:42,375 --> 01:12:46,791 That means they don't have enough evidence. 677 01:12:46,792 --> 01:12:50,832 So you'll probably get off scot-free. 678 01:12:52,750 --> 01:12:55,707 What if they do have enough evidence? 679 01:12:55,708 --> 01:12:58,707 Then you risk some years in the slammer. 680 01:12:59,292 --> 01:13:03,166 Or a fine. Depending on what they find. 681 01:13:03,708 --> 01:13:06,041 Sure you don't want a sandwich? 682 01:13:35,167 --> 01:13:38,291 Aren't you going to eat? 683 01:13:38,292 --> 01:13:40,999 No, I'm not that hungry. 684 01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:44,457 - Are you sick? - No, I'm not sick. 685 01:13:46,500 --> 01:13:48,499 You look sick. 686 01:13:48,500 --> 01:13:53,749 It's called a hangover. That's a grown-up sickness. 687 01:13:55,500 --> 01:13:58,707 How's it going with the ladies? 688 01:14:00,292 --> 01:14:02,332 Fine, I guess. 689 01:14:02,333 --> 01:14:04,749 Do you have a girlfriend? 690 01:14:04,750 --> 01:14:06,541 - No. - Why not? 691 01:14:08,458 --> 01:14:11,291 Leave Christian alone now. 692 01:14:18,583 --> 01:14:21,499 Hey, how are you really doing? 693 01:14:22,958 --> 01:14:26,082 I'm fine. Just have a lot on my mind. 694 01:14:26,792 --> 01:14:29,749 - I'm very proud of you. - Stop it. 695 01:14:29,750 --> 01:14:34,082 I mean it. You've always been such a sweet boy. 696 01:14:34,083 --> 01:14:39,499 No matter what you do, I will always be proud of you. 697 01:14:42,833 --> 01:14:48,499 But listen, if something has happened, you have to be honest. 698 01:14:48,500 --> 01:14:51,666 Then everything will work out. 699 01:14:51,667 --> 01:14:53,916 - Duly noted. - OK? 700 01:14:57,833 --> 01:15:00,957 Good night. Sleep tight. 701 01:15:20,542 --> 01:15:22,249 Hey! 702 01:15:22,875 --> 01:15:26,041 Hi, it's you. I thought... 703 01:15:26,042 --> 01:15:29,249 Never mind. I've been thinking. 704 01:15:29,250 --> 01:15:31,582 - About what? - My case. 705 01:15:31,583 --> 01:15:34,416 Shit, I forgot to tell you! 706 01:15:34,417 --> 01:15:37,082 I got a call a few days ago. 707 01:15:37,083 --> 01:15:40,041 All the charges have been dropped. 708 01:15:40,042 --> 01:15:44,374 She wasn't up for a full trial. I told you so. 709 01:15:44,375 --> 01:15:48,041 - But I want... - It's very common. 710 01:15:54,958 --> 01:15:57,457 I want to confess. 711 01:15:57,458 --> 01:16:01,416 - Why? - Because I can't live with this. 712 01:16:06,833 --> 01:16:11,332 Listen, she said she doesn't want any more attention. 713 01:16:11,333 --> 01:16:17,541 The police have to drop a rape case if there's no victim. Case closed. 714 01:16:17,542 --> 01:16:23,416 Don't force her to do something she doesn't want to do. Again. 715 01:16:24,333 --> 01:16:25,624 OK? 716 01:16:26,333 --> 01:16:29,457 Put it behind you, Christian. 717 01:16:29,458 --> 01:16:31,541 Happy New Year. 718 01:16:54,250 --> 01:16:56,041 Christian? 719 01:16:56,042 --> 01:16:59,249 Can't you come out? We miss you. 720 01:17:23,125 --> 01:17:25,082 Hi! 721 01:17:25,083 --> 01:17:26,541 What's this? 722 01:17:28,417 --> 01:17:34,749 This is... a prioritized list of girls' names in case I get a daughter. 723 01:17:34,750 --> 01:17:39,624 - Are you going to be a dad? - I don't know. Maybe. 724 01:17:39,625 --> 01:17:43,499 You don't have Tone there. Mind if I add my name? 725 01:18:00,750 --> 01:18:01,250 Hi. 726 01:18:07,292 --> 01:18:09,249 How are you doing? 727 01:18:12,375 --> 01:18:13,666 I... 728 01:18:13,667 --> 01:18:15,541 Super. 729 01:18:24,708 --> 01:18:28,874 Has Karl told you how he lost his virginity? 730 01:18:30,333 --> 01:18:34,916 Up by Lake Sognsvann, with a girlfriend of mine. 731 01:18:34,917 --> 01:18:36,874 Sounds amazing... 732 01:18:38,000 --> 01:18:42,332 He didn't notice that his nose started bleeding. 733 01:18:42,333 --> 01:18:44,874 Her face ended up covered in blood. 734 01:18:45,250 --> 01:18:48,624 Number one: Nosebleed Ellen. 735 01:18:51,250 --> 01:18:53,207 Yeah. 736 01:18:53,375 --> 01:18:57,749 - It isn't easy. - You don't know the half of it. 737 01:19:00,708 --> 01:19:02,832 Here. 738 01:19:13,167 --> 01:19:15,207 - Is this Karl? - Yes. 739 01:19:15,917 --> 01:19:20,832 So he clearly knows what it feels like to be rejected. 740 01:19:26,125 --> 01:19:30,082 Listen, I know Karl can be a total pain. 741 01:19:31,042 --> 01:19:36,249 Personally, I've never been a fan of his womanizing. 742 01:19:37,792 --> 01:19:39,791 All those girls. 743 01:19:41,167 --> 01:19:45,999 But I let it slide because it has had a positive effect on him. 744 01:19:46,000 --> 01:19:50,624 That's because you're in love with him, Maja. 745 01:20:00,083 --> 01:20:01,916 Anyway... 746 01:20:04,167 --> 01:20:08,082 I know those guys can be intense and irritating. 747 01:20:08,083 --> 01:20:14,624 But staring at the ceiling and not talking to anyone, is also bad. 748 01:20:15,333 --> 01:20:18,207 If not for them, do it for me. 749 01:20:19,167 --> 01:20:23,707 I need someone to talk to out there with an IQ over 70. 750 01:20:27,458 --> 01:20:29,499 - Maja? - Hm? 751 01:20:37,375 --> 01:20:39,207 I have... 752 01:20:43,500 --> 01:20:46,666 Don't worry about it, Christian. 753 01:20:50,917 --> 01:20:54,916 Ladies and gentlemen, friends, and you there... 754 01:20:54,917 --> 01:20:57,749 I don't know you, but I like you. 755 01:20:57,750 --> 01:21:04,957 It's awesome that so many of you are still around after all our fuck-ups. 756 01:21:08,333 --> 01:21:15,082 But there is one person who has made this a fantastic year for me. 757 01:21:15,083 --> 01:21:20,207 One of my favorite people in the whole fucking world: 758 01:21:20,208 --> 01:21:22,041 Christian! 759 01:21:23,083 --> 01:21:26,916 He has changed my worldview - 760 01:21:26,917 --> 01:21:29,541 - with his naive kindness. 761 01:21:30,292 --> 01:21:35,082 And unbeknownst to him, he has helped me and Leo write a book - 762 01:21:35,083 --> 01:21:39,874 - that will hopefully help many desperate jerk-offs. 763 01:21:39,875 --> 01:21:43,374 He has been through a boot camp from hell - 764 01:21:43,375 --> 01:21:47,499 - that makes the special forces look like bitches. 765 01:21:47,500 --> 01:21:50,832 It's been hard, dark and miserable, - 766 01:21:50,833 --> 01:21:53,416 - but he rose to the occasion. 767 01:21:53,417 --> 01:21:57,207 Like a fucking phoenix from the ashes! 768 01:21:58,625 --> 01:22:01,916 It is a pick-up guide for men. 769 01:22:01,917 --> 01:22:07,166 How to go from man on the street to fucking machine. 770 01:22:07,167 --> 01:22:13,457 123 tips, illustrated throughout with pictures I have drawn of Christian. 771 01:22:14,417 --> 01:22:19,124 I would like to dedicate the last toast of the year - 772 01:22:19,125 --> 01:22:22,041 - to Christian. Cheers! 773 01:22:30,833 --> 01:22:34,499 Christian, don't be such a party pooper. 774 01:22:37,542 --> 01:22:39,791 - Hey! - What the hell? 775 01:22:43,125 --> 01:22:45,124 Take it easy! 776 01:22:51,833 --> 01:22:59,833 Christian! 777 01:25:15,875 --> 01:25:17,624 Hey, boss. 778 01:25:20,792 --> 01:25:22,874 Get lost. Go away. 779 01:25:23,958 --> 01:25:27,332 I thought I'd try to talk you down. 780 01:25:27,333 --> 01:25:30,374 Just leave me alone. For once. 781 01:25:31,250 --> 01:25:34,791 I'm not leaving here without you. 782 01:25:37,708 --> 01:25:40,082 OK. So what is this? 783 01:25:40,833 --> 01:25:44,249 - The final chapter? You save me? - Please... 784 01:25:44,250 --> 01:25:46,166 Chapter 123: 785 01:25:46,167 --> 01:25:50,041 Karl the Savior rescues Christian the Pathetic. 786 01:25:50,042 --> 01:25:53,249 What do you think I am? 787 01:25:53,250 --> 01:25:57,499 I think you went behind my back and wrote a book. 788 01:25:57,500 --> 01:26:02,916 You fucked someone you knew I liked. You forced me... 789 01:26:02,917 --> 01:26:06,957 Leo and I didn't force you to do anything. 790 01:26:07,750 --> 01:26:10,999 OK? You went along voluntarily. 791 01:26:11,000 --> 01:26:16,207 - After you fucked Mylian. - Yes, I fucked Mylian. 792 01:26:16,208 --> 01:26:21,791 I realized you liked her, so I fucked her. And it helped. 793 01:26:21,792 --> 01:26:25,332 - It helped? - Yes. Say what you want. 794 01:26:25,333 --> 01:26:30,416 You are a much better man than that wimp I met six months ago. 795 01:26:30,417 --> 01:26:36,916 If you keep listening to me, I can guarantee you an awesome life. 796 01:26:36,917 --> 01:26:41,082 And you know it. I did all that to open your eyes. 797 01:26:41,083 --> 01:26:46,041 To give you a chance to avoid being constantly rejected. 798 01:26:46,042 --> 01:26:47,832 Open my eyes? 799 01:26:49,583 --> 01:26:52,832 You are so fucking stupid. 800 01:26:52,833 --> 01:26:57,249 Just tell me what's wrong, and I'll help you. 801 01:26:58,042 --> 01:27:01,207 We raped a girl, Karl. 802 01:27:01,208 --> 01:27:03,332 Me and The Punisher. 803 01:27:04,708 --> 01:27:07,666 So fuck "being rejected." 804 01:27:09,875 --> 01:27:14,374 - Shit, I... - You didn't think that would happen? 805 01:27:14,375 --> 01:27:17,124 Of course not. You're an idiot. 806 01:27:17,125 --> 01:27:19,916 You have wasted half your life. 807 01:27:19,917 --> 01:27:22,124 Pissed it away. 808 01:27:23,250 --> 01:27:27,457 You claim I don't know how the world works. 809 01:27:27,458 --> 01:27:32,332 You're the one who's forgotten how the world works. 810 01:27:48,292 --> 01:27:50,332 Don't touch me! 811 01:28:38,167 --> 01:28:43,041 Hi. We have an appointment with Christian Lunde. 812 01:29:03,167 --> 01:29:06,291 - Hey, Chris. - Hi, boss. 813 01:29:12,292 --> 01:29:14,249 How's it going? 814 01:29:15,375 --> 01:29:17,207 Fine. 815 01:29:19,750 --> 01:29:21,291 And with you? 816 01:29:29,875 --> 01:29:32,457 Let's go find the bathroom. 817 01:29:39,833 --> 01:29:42,666 Seriously? You and Maja? 818 01:29:43,750 --> 01:29:45,916 Pretty sick, huh? 819 01:29:47,542 --> 01:29:49,791 How did that happen? 820 01:29:49,792 --> 01:29:54,832 We argued for, like, three days. She didn't believe me, so... 821 01:29:54,833 --> 01:29:56,624 I proposed. 822 01:30:15,583 --> 01:30:18,416 So how are you really doing? 823 01:30:20,083 --> 01:30:22,249 The doctor thinks - 824 01:30:23,167 --> 01:30:26,541 - I should stay a couple more weeks. 825 01:30:26,542 --> 01:30:29,207 But... I am doing fine. 826 01:30:31,917 --> 01:30:34,791 Have you gotten some diagnosis? 827 01:30:34,792 --> 01:30:37,999 Just your average depression. 828 01:30:39,917 --> 01:30:42,749 24 out of 30 on the scale. 829 01:30:52,542 --> 01:30:55,166 Listen, I would never... 830 01:30:56,125 --> 01:31:00,082 I would never have pushed you if I had known... 831 01:31:01,833 --> 01:31:03,624 It's OK. 832 01:31:08,042 --> 01:31:10,832 You said lots of things that... 833 01:31:17,750 --> 01:31:19,874 I just wanted to... 834 01:31:21,417 --> 01:31:23,249 I don't know. 835 01:31:26,958 --> 01:31:29,957 I just want to apologize. 836 01:31:32,750 --> 01:31:34,499 Thank you. 837 01:31:37,333 --> 01:31:41,457 Anyway, I talked to our publisher. 838 01:31:41,458 --> 01:31:45,082 We decided to can the entire book. 839 01:31:45,083 --> 01:31:47,499 This is the last copy. 840 01:31:48,375 --> 01:31:51,457 Let me know, and I'll delete it. 841 01:31:51,458 --> 01:31:53,457 Could I have it? 842 01:31:56,792 --> 01:31:58,749 Are you sure? 843 01:31:58,750 --> 01:32:02,166 I thought it might be interesting. 844 01:32:05,125 --> 01:32:08,791 To see things from your perspective. 845 01:32:08,792 --> 01:32:12,791 Fuck it. Take it. Do with it as you please. 846 01:32:15,500 --> 01:32:16,874 Thanks. 847 01:32:16,875 --> 01:32:20,957 There's probably a lot of porn on there. 848 01:32:20,958 --> 01:32:24,082 I mean, we're talking shitloads. 849 01:32:24,083 --> 01:32:30,207 If you find any shemale stuff, that was downloaded ironically. 850 01:32:38,875 --> 01:32:43,374 Leo eventually found the woman of his dreams... 851 01:32:43,958 --> 01:32:47,624 A ten of spades and billionaire heiress. 852 01:32:51,208 --> 01:32:53,666 Stop, you little shit! 853 01:32:56,125 --> 01:33:02,041 Unfortunately her mother was also a solid nine of clubs. 854 01:33:07,625 --> 01:33:11,874 Leo insists he'll soon give up the single lifestyle. 855 01:33:16,708 --> 01:33:22,416 Karl got into architecture school and married Maja. 856 01:33:26,500 --> 01:33:32,832 Their love has blossomed since she became number 123. 857 01:33:37,458 --> 01:33:41,624 They have two daughters. 858 01:33:43,417 --> 01:33:49,499 To Karl's great relief, he believes he has spied lesbian tendencies. 859 01:33:58,625 --> 01:34:00,874 And Christian? 860 01:34:00,875 --> 01:34:02,957 Well... 861 01:34:05,917 --> 01:34:10,541 Our next guest wrote a book about Oslo's pickup scene. 862 01:34:10,542 --> 01:34:13,874 It has already sold over 100,000 copies. 863 01:34:13,875 --> 01:34:19,082 Please welcome social worker and author Christian Lunde! 864 01:34:25,083 --> 01:34:27,499 Hi there! 865 01:34:27,500 --> 01:34:29,541 Hi, Christian. Welcome! 866 01:34:33,333 --> 01:34:36,916 Hi. It's great to have you here. 867 01:34:36,917 --> 01:34:39,166 - How are you? - Great. 868 01:34:39,167 --> 01:34:43,166 You had some scores to settle with yourself. 869 01:34:43,167 --> 01:34:47,666 I sure did. It was the only right thing to do. 870 01:34:48,583 --> 01:34:52,332 I had scores to settle with myself. 871 01:34:52,333 --> 01:34:55,291 And with others who had been affected. 872 01:34:55,750 --> 01:34:58,749 It has to do with attraction... 873 01:34:58,750 --> 01:35:00,332 Christian? 874 01:35:00,708 --> 01:35:02,374 Christian! 875 01:35:03,125 --> 01:35:05,374 I'll call you back. 876 01:35:05,375 --> 01:35:07,666 - Hi. - Hi! 877 01:35:08,875 --> 01:35:11,707 - Long time, no see. - Truly. 878 01:35:11,708 --> 01:35:14,749 - And now you're on TV. - Yeah. 879 01:35:16,708 --> 01:35:19,166 - How are you? - I'm great. 880 01:35:19,167 --> 01:35:23,416 Listen, I have an appointment. It was great seeing you. 881 01:35:23,417 --> 01:35:26,791 Don't you have two minutes to talk to me? 882 01:35:26,792 --> 01:35:30,082 Was there something in particular? 883 01:35:30,083 --> 01:35:32,082 Not really. 884 01:35:32,083 --> 01:35:34,916 That is, I just... 885 01:35:35,583 --> 01:35:39,499 I've been wondering if you feel that I... 886 01:35:39,500 --> 01:35:44,041 Was I mean? Did I take advantage of you somehow? 887 01:35:44,458 --> 01:35:46,499 Listen. 888 01:35:46,500 --> 01:35:50,374 You have nothing to feel guilty about, OK? 889 01:35:50,375 --> 01:35:53,541 OK. That was a huge relief. 890 01:35:53,542 --> 01:35:58,916 Except that you're the reason I tried to commit suicide. 891 01:36:04,917 --> 01:36:09,499 You should have seen your face. See you later! 892 01:36:11,750 --> 01:36:14,791 Hey, Christian. Hang on! 893 01:36:16,125 --> 01:36:18,166 Where are you headed? 894 01:36:18,167 --> 01:36:22,124 Actually, what I'm doing is going home - 895 01:36:22,125 --> 01:36:24,874 - for a nice, long wank. 62788

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