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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,019 --> 00:00:07,017 [light music] 2 00:00:07,019 --> 00:00:10,014 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:10,016 --> 00:00:12,022 female narrator: For far too long, Darby had ignored 4 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:16,002 the details of her past, not appreciating 5 00:00:16,004 --> 00:00:18,000 that they might be puzzle pieces 6 00:00:18,002 --> 00:00:20,002 in her quest for connection. 7 00:00:20,004 --> 00:00:22,009 But now, suddenly, she found herself 8 00:00:22,011 --> 00:00:26,009 feeling the impulse to look inward. 9 00:00:26,011 --> 00:00:27,018 - Darby? 10 00:00:27,020 --> 00:00:29,003 - Yeah. 11 00:00:29,005 --> 00:00:30,004 - Wanna come on in? 12 00:00:30,006 --> 00:00:31,013 - Yeah. - Okay. 13 00:00:31,015 --> 00:00:33,013 - Real-life therapy couch. [laughs] 14 00:00:33,015 --> 00:00:35,012 I'm not actually supposed to lay down, right? 15 00:00:35,014 --> 00:00:37,021 - Whatever makes you feel comfortable. 16 00:00:38,018 --> 00:00:41,009 - So do I just start talking, or... 17 00:00:41,011 --> 00:00:43,016 - Yeah, why don't you talk about what brought you in here? 18 00:00:43,018 --> 00:00:46,010 On the phone, you mentioned that you were having... 19 00:00:46,012 --> 00:00:47,021 trouble with a relationship? 20 00:00:47,023 --> 00:00:49,002 - Uh, yeah. 21 00:00:49,004 --> 00:00:51,005 Uh, well, yeah, broadly speaking, 22 00:00:51,007 --> 00:00:53,007 but I think it's just me. 23 00:00:53,009 --> 00:00:56,013 I'm really not good at expressing myself, 24 00:00:56,015 --> 00:00:58,006 and that's hurting my relationship, 25 00:00:58,008 --> 00:01:02,009 so I would love to just, um, fix that, you know? 26 00:01:02,011 --> 00:01:05,011 - Could you maybe give me an example? 27 00:01:05,013 --> 00:01:07,010 - Yeah, so um, recently, 28 00:01:07,012 --> 00:01:10,006 he wanted to buy this $2,000 couch, 29 00:01:10,008 --> 00:01:12,023 and we just don't need it, 30 00:01:13,001 --> 00:01:17,002 and I started out saying I didn't think 31 00:01:17,004 --> 00:01:19,000 that we should spend that much money on a couch, 32 00:01:19,002 --> 00:01:20,010 and we couldn't even afford it, 33 00:01:20,012 --> 00:01:24,003 and he was so disappointed by that, 34 00:01:24,005 --> 00:01:28,001 um, so I ended up saying... 35 00:01:28,003 --> 00:01:31,000 we should get the matching ottoman and everything, and... 36 00:01:31,002 --> 00:01:33,001 - So you're, like, a real pleaser. 37 00:01:33,003 --> 00:01:35,013 - Um, y-- 38 00:01:35,015 --> 00:01:38,020 but now I'm angry, so... 39 00:01:38,022 --> 00:01:40,008 - It sounds to me like 40 00:01:40,010 --> 00:01:42,017 he didn't really respect your desires. 41 00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:46,011 He...kind of steamrolled you. 42 00:01:47,019 --> 00:01:51,019 But what would happen if you said, "Hey, look. 43 00:01:51,021 --> 00:01:54,013 "That really made me angry that you steamrolled me 44 00:01:54,015 --> 00:01:57,010 into buying that $2,000 couch"? 45 00:01:57,012 --> 00:02:00,016 - He would be mad, 46 00:02:00,018 --> 00:02:03,007 and... 47 00:02:03,009 --> 00:02:05,006 we would get in a fight, 48 00:02:05,008 --> 00:02:07,013 and... 49 00:02:07,015 --> 00:02:09,002 he would break up with me. 50 00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:12,000 - So you're really afraid of rejection? 51 00:02:12,002 --> 00:02:14,007 - Isn't everyone? - Of course. 52 00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:16,004 Because it's painful, 53 00:02:16,006 --> 00:02:19,004 and it's shame-inducing. 54 00:02:19,006 --> 00:02:21,012 But it's really not about you, Darby. 55 00:02:21,014 --> 00:02:23,010 Rejection is not personal. 56 00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:26,003 - It's obviously personal. 57 00:02:26,005 --> 00:02:29,000 Rejection couldn't be more personal. 58 00:02:29,018 --> 00:02:33,010 - I can see this is a really sensitive area. 59 00:02:34,005 --> 00:02:36,002 Let's dig a little deeper. 60 00:02:38,004 --> 00:02:40,000 I want you to tell me about the first time 61 00:02:40,002 --> 00:02:43,002 you ever experienced a major rejection. 62 00:02:44,002 --> 00:02:47,001 I want you to describe to me what that felt like. 63 00:02:47,003 --> 00:02:53,014 I want you to close your eyes and just describe away. 64 00:02:55,004 --> 00:02:56,022 - Do I have to close my eyes? 65 00:02:57,021 --> 00:02:59,006 - Yeah. 66 00:03:04,021 --> 00:03:06,013 - Okay. 67 00:03:06,015 --> 00:03:07,019 So... 68 00:03:09,013 --> 00:03:14,008 I guess it was...Luke. 69 00:03:14,010 --> 00:03:17,008 [relaxed music] 70 00:03:17,010 --> 00:03:18,023 ♪ ♪ 71 00:03:19,001 --> 00:03:21,001 Um, I was 15, 72 00:03:21,003 --> 00:03:24,005 and I was getting shuttled, uh, 73 00:03:24,007 --> 00:03:26,001 back and forth between my parents, 74 00:03:26,003 --> 00:03:28,014 and I didn't, like, belong anywhere, 75 00:03:28,016 --> 00:03:30,012 so I did this kind of crazy thing. 76 00:03:30,014 --> 00:03:32,021 I applied to boarding school. 77 00:03:32,023 --> 00:03:36,006 At first, I just wanted to see if my parents would stop me. 78 00:03:36,008 --> 00:03:38,003 Like, maybe I was too integral a part of the family 79 00:03:38,005 --> 00:03:40,020 for them to let me go, but, uh, no. 80 00:03:40,022 --> 00:03:42,020 They were totally cool with their child 81 00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:45,021 moving across the country. 82 00:03:45,023 --> 00:03:48,003 So I went, and honestly, 83 00:03:48,005 --> 00:03:50,003 I thought it would look like Hogwarts... 84 00:03:50,005 --> 00:03:51,019 [machinery beeping] 85 00:03:51,021 --> 00:03:53,010 But no. 86 00:03:53,012 --> 00:03:59,002 Uh, the pictures on the website were...misleading. 87 00:03:59,004 --> 00:04:00,013 This honestly sucks. 88 00:04:00,015 --> 00:04:02,006 - I didn't know you wanted to come. 89 00:04:02,008 --> 00:04:03,022 - No, I don't want to go on a Disney cruise. 90 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,003 Why would I want to go on a Disney cruise with you guys? 91 00:04:06,005 --> 00:04:07,008 Walt Disney was a Nazi. 92 00:04:07,010 --> 00:04:08,021 Mom, I just want to be home. 93 00:04:08,023 --> 00:04:10,009 - If you wanna be home, maybe you should've 94 00:04:10,011 --> 00:04:12,001 stayed here in the first place 95 00:04:12,003 --> 00:04:13,011 instead of running away to boarding school. 96 00:04:13,013 --> 00:04:14,021 - Okay. Okay, fine. 97 00:04:14,023 --> 00:04:16,003 Then I'll just have Thanksgiving by myself. 98 00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:17,014 - What about your father's? 99 00:04:17,016 --> 00:04:18,020 I'm sure they'd love to have you too. 100 00:04:18,022 --> 00:04:20,009 - No, Nancy's mom lives there now, 101 00:04:20,011 --> 00:04:22,007 so I'd just have to be on an Aerobed again. 102 00:04:22,009 --> 00:04:24,002 - Wow, Larry's really caving over there. 103 00:04:24,004 --> 00:04:25,018 - Is that even comfortable? 104 00:04:25,020 --> 00:04:27,013 - It's not supposed to be. 105 00:04:27,015 --> 00:04:29,004 - Oh, is that Grace? 106 00:04:29,006 --> 00:04:32,000 Can't you go home with her for Thanksgiving? 107 00:04:32,002 --> 00:04:34,011 - No, she's going to her boyfriend's. 108 00:04:34,013 --> 00:04:37,002 But I'll be fine. There's a Hardee's in town. 109 00:04:37,004 --> 00:04:38,020 - Don't be dramatic, sweetheart. 110 00:04:38,022 --> 00:04:40,017 I'll call you from the ship. 111 00:04:45,005 --> 00:04:47,005 - Hey, do you think I could go to Colby's with you? 112 00:04:47,007 --> 00:04:48,013 Or would that be weird? 113 00:04:48,015 --> 00:04:50,005 - Only if you wanna watch us fuck. 114 00:04:50,007 --> 00:04:53,011 [Justice vs. Simian's "We Are Your Friends"] 115 00:04:53,013 --> 00:04:57,015 ♪ ♪ 116 00:04:57,017 --> 00:05:01,021 - ♪ Because we are your friends ♪ 117 00:05:01,023 --> 00:05:05,012 ♪ You'll never be alone again ♪ 118 00:05:05,014 --> 00:05:07,009 ♪ Ooh, come on ♪ 119 00:05:07,011 --> 00:05:11,010 ♪ Ooh, come on, ooh, come on ♪ 120 00:05:11,012 --> 00:05:14,000 ♪ Ooh, come on ♪ 121 00:05:14,002 --> 00:05:21,006 ♪ ♪ 122 00:05:30,003 --> 00:05:37,008 ♪ ♪ 123 00:05:43,016 --> 00:05:47,018 ♪ Because we are your friends ♪ 124 00:05:47,020 --> 00:05:49,017 - Hey, Ashton. Hey, Kaelin. 125 00:05:49,019 --> 00:05:52,007 I didn't know you guys were staying in town for the break. 126 00:05:52,009 --> 00:05:54,003 - Either that or go to our fucking dumbass 127 00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:55,008 stupid grandma's house. 128 00:05:55,010 --> 00:05:58,012 - I'm Sophie. - Hey. I'm Darby. 129 00:05:58,014 --> 00:05:59,021 - So anyway... 130 00:05:59,023 --> 00:06:02,004 yeah, I've pretty much spent the whole break so far 131 00:06:02,006 --> 00:06:03,011 playing "San Andreas." 132 00:06:03,013 --> 00:06:05,013 - I heard the tank is tight. Whew! 133 00:06:05,015 --> 00:06:07,001 Have you gotten to the level with the tank? 134 00:06:07,003 --> 00:06:09,014 - No, but I got the cheat code for it. 135 00:06:09,016 --> 00:06:10,013 both: Tight. 136 00:06:10,015 --> 00:06:13,015 [D4L's "Laffy Taffy"] 137 00:06:13,017 --> 00:06:14,017 ♪ ♪ 138 00:06:14,019 --> 00:06:16,002 - ♪ That laffy taffy ♪ 139 00:06:16,004 --> 00:06:19,003 ♪ That laffy taffy ♪ 140 00:06:19,005 --> 00:06:21,013 ♪ Candy girl ♪ 141 00:06:21,015 --> 00:06:23,022 ♪ Girl, shake that laffy taffy ♪ 142 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,004 ♪ That laffy taffy ♪ 143 00:06:25,006 --> 00:06:26,018 ♪ Shake that laffy taffy ♪ 144 00:06:26,020 --> 00:06:28,006 ♪ That laffy taffy, girl ♪ 145 00:06:28,008 --> 00:06:29,007 - Yo! 146 00:06:29,009 --> 00:06:32,001 Sorry. [clears throat] 147 00:06:32,003 --> 00:06:33,003 What up, pimps? 148 00:06:33,005 --> 00:06:34,003 both: 'Sup? 149 00:06:34,005 --> 00:06:35,009 - Aren't you cold? 150 00:06:35,011 --> 00:06:37,004 - No. Why? We're inside. 151 00:06:37,006 --> 00:06:39,001 - We-- 152 00:06:39,003 --> 00:06:40,006 well, I mean, you're just-- 153 00:06:40,008 --> 00:06:41,022 you're dressed like the Big Lebowski. 154 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,006 - Well, I guess I just run warm. 155 00:06:43,008 --> 00:06:44,007 - Hmm. - Yeah. 156 00:06:44,009 --> 00:06:45,023 ♪ ♪ 157 00:06:46,001 --> 00:06:47,019 And what's up? I'm Luke. 158 00:06:47,021 --> 00:06:49,010 - I sit next to you in Chem. 159 00:06:49,012 --> 00:06:51,020 - Oh! Shit. Yes, no. 160 00:06:51,022 --> 00:06:53,010 Okay. No, I know you. I'm sorry. 161 00:06:53,012 --> 00:06:56,006 You want some water? 162 00:06:56,008 --> 00:06:58,021 It's not water. It's Popov. 163 00:06:58,023 --> 00:07:00,016 But keep it low-key. 164 00:07:00,018 --> 00:07:01,021 ♪ ♪ 165 00:07:01,023 --> 00:07:04,003 - How's "Cats" going? [laughs] 166 00:07:04,005 --> 00:07:06,006 Yeah, sounding pretty good over there, 167 00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:07,020 frickin' musical guy. 168 00:07:07,022 --> 00:07:09,002 - [laughs] 169 00:07:09,004 --> 00:07:10,015 I'm playing Rum Tum Tugger, so... 170 00:07:10,017 --> 00:07:12,006 - Ooh. - Yeah. 171 00:07:12,008 --> 00:07:13,022 - ♪ Girl, shake that laffy taffy ♪ 172 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,023 - Yo. 173 00:07:16,001 --> 00:07:18,009 - Hi. 174 00:07:22,002 --> 00:07:23,021 - What's up? 175 00:07:23,023 --> 00:07:25,016 - I hate Thanksgiving. 176 00:07:25,018 --> 00:07:27,010 - Yeah, I know. Same. 177 00:07:27,012 --> 00:07:29,005 - And it's ridiculous, 'cause "The O.C." 178 00:07:29,007 --> 00:07:31,008 isn't even on tonight, which-- which makes no sense to me, 179 00:07:31,010 --> 00:07:33,012 'cause I feel like if there were a night for "The O.C." 180 00:07:33,014 --> 00:07:34,022 to be on, it would be tonight. 181 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,011 - I know. I know. That's what I was thinking. 182 00:07:37,013 --> 00:07:42,000 I went to the AV room to try to watch it, and... 183 00:07:42,002 --> 00:07:43,018 - Yeah? - I'm actually from California. 184 00:07:43,020 --> 00:07:44,022 - Wait, no way. Sick. 185 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:45,022 - So it reminds me of home. 186 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,004 - Yeah? - Yeah. 187 00:07:47,006 --> 00:07:49,012 [soft music] 188 00:07:49,014 --> 00:07:56,018 ♪ ♪ 189 00:08:09,021 --> 00:08:11,000 Cool. 190 00:08:11,022 --> 00:08:13,008 - Wait, did you inhale it? 191 00:08:13,010 --> 00:08:14,009 - Yeah. 192 00:08:14,011 --> 00:08:15,020 I--I think I did. 193 00:08:15,022 --> 00:08:17,017 - Are you sure? - I don't know. 194 00:08:19,014 --> 00:08:21,020 [coughing] - There you go. Nice. 195 00:08:22,014 --> 00:08:24,022 - Um, so why didn't you go home? 196 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,014 - Just civil disobedience. 197 00:08:26,016 --> 00:08:28,003 [sniffs] - What do you mean? 198 00:08:28,005 --> 00:08:30,003 - No, my parents are just fuckin' Repubs, 199 00:08:30,005 --> 00:08:32,020 and my dad's a drunk and a hypocrite. 200 00:08:32,022 --> 00:08:34,001 - Where are you from again? 201 00:08:34,003 --> 00:08:35,021 - Corpus Christi, Texas. 202 00:08:35,023 --> 00:08:38,002 - That's wild. - Yeah. 203 00:08:38,004 --> 00:08:41,006 - What, are you, uh, like, an oil baron? 204 00:08:41,008 --> 00:08:42,009 - [laughs] No, no. 205 00:08:42,011 --> 00:08:43,014 My dad's a lobbyist. 206 00:08:43,016 --> 00:08:45,000 - Hmm. - Yeah. 207 00:08:45,002 --> 00:08:47,005 He knows the dude that Cheney shot in the face. 208 00:08:47,007 --> 00:08:49,003 Yeah, I know. He's boys with my grandpa. 209 00:08:49,005 --> 00:08:50,013 - Hmm. 210 00:08:50,015 --> 00:08:53,001 Yeah, my dad's a recovering alcoholic. 211 00:08:53,003 --> 00:08:55,006 - Mm. Is that why you stayed here? 212 00:08:55,008 --> 00:08:57,013 - No. I mean, kind of. 213 00:08:57,015 --> 00:08:59,014 I don't know. Um... 214 00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:02,003 No, my parents are just in Jackson Hole, 215 00:09:02,005 --> 00:09:04,018 and I didn't feel like going this year. 216 00:09:04,020 --> 00:09:07,018 [light music] 217 00:09:07,020 --> 00:09:15,000 ♪ ♪ 218 00:09:18,008 --> 00:09:20,007 That was my first real kiss. 219 00:09:20,009 --> 00:09:24,006 In the moment, it was-- it was magic, 220 00:09:24,008 --> 00:09:25,022 I mean, now I realize 221 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,008 he was using his tongue like a prison shank. 222 00:09:28,010 --> 00:09:30,017 ♪ ♪ 223 00:09:30,019 --> 00:09:32,019 You don't use your door? - No. 224 00:09:32,021 --> 00:09:34,014 Even the Domino's guy knows to use the window 225 00:09:34,016 --> 00:09:35,018 at Casa Ducharme. 226 00:09:35,020 --> 00:09:36,018 - [laughs] 227 00:09:36,020 --> 00:09:38,022 ♪ ♪ 228 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,005 - Here. Here. - Yeah. 229 00:09:40,007 --> 00:09:41,012 Thanks. - Mm-hmm. 230 00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:47,019 ♪ ♪ 231 00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:49,014 - [laughing] 232 00:09:49,016 --> 00:09:50,014 [shrieks] 233 00:09:50,016 --> 00:09:51,019 - Go, go! 234 00:09:51,021 --> 00:09:58,011 ♪ ♪ 235 00:10:09,003 --> 00:10:12,002 [indistinct whispering] 236 00:10:12,004 --> 00:10:13,015 ♪ ♪ 237 00:10:13,017 --> 00:10:14,020 - All right, ready? 238 00:10:14,022 --> 00:10:16,021 ♪ ♪ 239 00:10:16,023 --> 00:10:18,002 Oh, wow. 240 00:10:18,004 --> 00:10:19,012 - That one's cute. 241 00:10:19,014 --> 00:10:20,019 - That was good. 242 00:10:20,021 --> 00:10:22,021 - We got this. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 243 00:10:22,023 --> 00:10:29,012 ♪ ♪ 244 00:10:29,014 --> 00:10:32,002 [laughing] 245 00:10:32,004 --> 00:10:38,012 ♪ ♪ 246 00:10:38,014 --> 00:10:39,021 What kind of music do you like? 247 00:10:39,023 --> 00:10:42,004 - I like mellow shit. 248 00:10:42,006 --> 00:10:44,003 Like this. 249 00:10:46,010 --> 00:10:48,000 Know this one? 250 00:10:48,002 --> 00:10:51,006 [John Mayer's "I Don't Trust Myself (With Loving You)"] 251 00:10:51,008 --> 00:10:53,019 ♪ ♪ 252 00:10:53,021 --> 00:10:55,002 - You like John Mayer? 253 00:10:55,004 --> 00:10:57,009 - I love John Mayer. John Mayer shreds. 254 00:10:57,011 --> 00:10:59,008 - [laughs] 255 00:10:59,010 --> 00:11:01,006 - [laughs] 256 00:11:01,008 --> 00:11:04,004 - Hey, I lied before. 257 00:11:04,006 --> 00:11:05,021 - Yeah? About what? 258 00:11:05,023 --> 00:11:07,018 - My family isn't in Jackson Hole. 259 00:11:07,020 --> 00:11:11,012 I--like, I really don't know why I said that. 260 00:11:11,014 --> 00:11:13,022 - [laughing] Okay. - [groans] 261 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,008 - It's all good. 262 00:11:15,010 --> 00:11:19,001 ♪ ♪ 263 00:11:19,003 --> 00:11:24,017 - ♪ No, I'm not the man I used to be lately ♪ 264 00:11:24,019 --> 00:11:30,006 ♪ See, you met me at an interesting time ♪ 265 00:11:30,008 --> 00:11:34,005 ♪ And if my past is any sign of your future ♪ 266 00:11:34,007 --> 00:11:37,004 - [laughs softly] 267 00:11:37,006 --> 00:11:39,006 You're amazing. 268 00:11:39,008 --> 00:11:40,020 ♪ ♪ 269 00:11:40,022 --> 00:11:42,007 - You're amazing. 270 00:11:42,009 --> 00:11:48,009 - ♪ Hold on to whatever you find, baby ♪ 271 00:11:48,011 --> 00:11:54,009 ♪ Hold on to whatever will get you through ♪ 272 00:11:54,011 --> 00:11:59,006 ♪ Hold on to whatever you find, baby ♪ 273 00:11:59,008 --> 00:12:03,016 ♪ I don't trust myself with lovin' you ♪ 274 00:12:03,018 --> 00:12:10,022 ♪ ♪ 275 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,017 - So clearly, you really liked this guy. 276 00:12:17,019 --> 00:12:19,011 But the question is, Darby, 277 00:12:19,013 --> 00:12:21,019 what did you do with those feelings? 278 00:12:22,022 --> 00:12:24,005 - Nothing, really. 279 00:12:24,007 --> 00:12:27,003 Um...yeah, I mean, it was high school, 280 00:12:27,005 --> 00:12:29,004 so we barely knew each other, 281 00:12:29,006 --> 00:12:33,006 and it just wasn't-- it wasn't that big a deal. 282 00:12:34,018 --> 00:12:37,022 - Darby, therapy really only works 283 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,013 if you're willing to open up to me. 284 00:12:39,015 --> 00:12:41,016 - I'm here, aren't I? 285 00:12:41,018 --> 00:12:44,011 - Yes, and that's the first step. 286 00:12:46,004 --> 00:12:49,009 - I'm sorry, it's just... 287 00:12:49,011 --> 00:12:52,003 you're basically a stranger. 288 00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:55,004 - Maybe that makes it easier. 289 00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,011 - Okay. 290 00:12:59,013 --> 00:13:03,021 - ♪ I will beg my way into your garden ♪ 291 00:13:03,023 --> 00:13:05,000 - Hey. 292 00:13:05,002 --> 00:13:06,004 How was Colby's? 293 00:13:06,006 --> 00:13:07,019 - His cousin walked in on us, 294 00:13:07,021 --> 00:13:09,007 but otherwise, it was fine. 295 00:13:09,009 --> 00:13:13,005 - Okay, you won't believe what happened over break. 296 00:13:13,007 --> 00:13:15,002 I hooked up with Luke. 297 00:13:15,004 --> 00:13:16,016 - Luke Ducharme? 298 00:13:16,018 --> 00:13:19,000 - Yeah. [chuckles] 299 00:13:19,002 --> 00:13:21,001 Yeah, it was kind of magical. 300 00:13:21,003 --> 00:13:22,008 - [scoffs] 301 00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:24,004 Wow, I didn't know you had it in you. 302 00:13:24,006 --> 00:13:26,004 - Yeah, I mean, just like, the first night, 303 00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:27,017 we met up at the dining hall, 304 00:13:27,019 --> 00:13:31,016 and then...it just kind of happened, you know. 305 00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:33,018 - Okay, but what do you mean you hooked up? 306 00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:35,011 - Like, we just kissed. 307 00:13:35,013 --> 00:13:38,002 But we spent literally the whole time together. 308 00:13:38,004 --> 00:13:40,010 It was like we were in love. 309 00:13:41,006 --> 00:13:42,013 - So what's your guys' deal now? 310 00:13:42,015 --> 00:13:44,016 Are you, like, dating or something? 311 00:13:44,018 --> 00:13:46,012 - No, I mean, I'm... 312 00:13:46,014 --> 00:13:48,018 Yeah, I'm not really sure. 313 00:13:48,020 --> 00:13:50,008 I mean, not officially, anyway. 314 00:13:50,010 --> 00:13:52,019 We haven't had the talk yet, you know. 315 00:13:53,014 --> 00:13:55,001 - I have Pre-Calc with him. 316 00:13:55,003 --> 00:13:57,003 You know he's, like, a total player. 317 00:13:58,009 --> 00:13:59,021 - [laughing] Yeah. 318 00:13:59,023 --> 00:14:01,003 Yeah. 319 00:14:01,005 --> 00:14:02,009 We're just keeping it casual, you know. 320 00:14:02,011 --> 00:14:04,012 It's no big deal, really. 321 00:14:04,014 --> 00:14:09,012 ♪ ♪ 322 00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:12,022 [indistinct chatter] 323 00:14:15,008 --> 00:14:17,005 [laughing] Hey. 324 00:14:17,007 --> 00:14:19,000 - Oh, hey. - Nice game. 325 00:14:19,002 --> 00:14:20,023 - Yeah, thanks. 326 00:14:23,001 --> 00:14:24,023 What's up? [laughs] 327 00:14:25,012 --> 00:14:26,021 - Not much. 328 00:14:27,023 --> 00:14:29,010 - Okay. - Well, um, hey. 329 00:14:29,012 --> 00:14:31,022 I was actually thinking about staging a walkout 330 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:35,005 against the Iraq war, if you felt like joining. 331 00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:37,007 - Oh, um, maybe. 332 00:14:37,009 --> 00:14:39,003 Yeah, maybe. 333 00:14:39,005 --> 00:14:41,010 - Or--or we could just smoke weed 334 00:14:41,012 --> 00:14:43,015 and watch the new "O.C." 335 00:14:44,012 --> 00:14:46,002 - I can't. [chuckles] 336 00:14:46,004 --> 00:14:47,021 I'm--I'm just-- I'm really screwed in Chem 337 00:14:47,023 --> 00:14:50,006 'cause I fucked off, like, all break. 338 00:14:50,008 --> 00:14:52,019 - Mm, yeah. No, I remember. 339 00:14:54,015 --> 00:14:55,023 It was worth it, though, right? 340 00:14:56,001 --> 00:14:57,014 - Yeah, for sure. Yeah. 341 00:14:57,016 --> 00:14:59,012 Yes. [laughs] 342 00:14:59,014 --> 00:15:01,015 Uh, but I sh--I sh-- I need to get back to the game. 343 00:15:01,017 --> 00:15:03,010 - Oh, yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. 344 00:15:03,012 --> 00:15:06,001 - Bye. - All right, let's do it. 345 00:15:06,003 --> 00:15:09,016 ♪ ♪ 346 00:15:10,020 --> 00:15:13,010 - Honestly, things got worse from there. 347 00:15:13,012 --> 00:15:15,016 Um, I would see him around campus, 348 00:15:15,018 --> 00:15:18,015 but it was just like nothing ever happened between us. 349 00:15:18,017 --> 00:15:21,006 Just classic kid shit. 350 00:15:21,008 --> 00:15:23,018 And I did the opposite of what I should have done. 351 00:15:23,020 --> 00:15:25,019 I literally auditioned for "Cats" 352 00:15:25,021 --> 00:15:27,018 just to be close to him. 353 00:15:27,020 --> 00:15:35,000 ♪ ♪ 354 00:15:36,002 --> 00:15:39,006 Oh, my God. Luke, that was amazing. 355 00:15:39,008 --> 00:15:41,004 Like, I seriously had tears in my eyes 356 00:15:41,006 --> 00:15:42,004 when you were singing. 357 00:15:42,006 --> 00:15:44,008 - Thank you. [laughs] 358 00:15:47,016 --> 00:15:49,019 - Look... 359 00:15:49,021 --> 00:15:51,019 I think we need to talk. 360 00:15:51,021 --> 00:15:53,015 You've just been acting really weird. 361 00:15:53,017 --> 00:15:54,022 - [laughs] No. 362 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,000 I haven't been ignoring you, I promise. 363 00:15:57,002 --> 00:16:00,001 Seriously, things have been so crazy with classes, 364 00:16:00,003 --> 00:16:01,022 and then, you know, I've got this, and I just-- 365 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:08,004 [laughing softly] 366 00:16:10,013 --> 00:16:11,017 - [clears throat] 367 00:16:28,022 --> 00:16:32,001 You like that, Rum Tum? - [shudders] 368 00:16:32,017 --> 00:16:35,021 [phone ringing] 369 00:16:38,010 --> 00:16:40,016 - Hey, Dad. - Hey. 370 00:16:40,018 --> 00:16:42,019 How's it going over there, East-Coaster? 371 00:16:42,021 --> 00:16:45,000 - It's fine. I'm just studying. What's up? 372 00:16:45,002 --> 00:16:47,014 - Well, we missed you at Thanksgiving, kiddo. 373 00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:50,017 - Yeah. I missed you too. 374 00:16:50,019 --> 00:16:54,001 - Hey, so um, some news, actually. 375 00:16:54,003 --> 00:16:56,000 Nancy's pregnant again. 376 00:16:59,004 --> 00:17:00,008 Darby? 377 00:17:01,014 --> 00:17:04,003 Darby, are you there? Hello? 378 00:17:04,022 --> 00:17:06,007 Look, I don't know what to say. 379 00:17:06,009 --> 00:17:07,013 I'm sorry. 380 00:17:09,017 --> 00:17:10,020 - No, it's--it's great. 381 00:17:10,022 --> 00:17:12,009 It's great. Congratulations. 382 00:17:48,006 --> 00:17:49,020 - Oh, hey. 383 00:17:52,014 --> 00:17:53,017 Um... 384 00:17:56,010 --> 00:17:58,001 What are those? Gummy bears? 385 00:17:58,003 --> 00:17:59,016 - Worms. 386 00:18:00,009 --> 00:18:01,013 - What? 387 00:18:03,009 --> 00:18:05,003 - They're gummy worms. 388 00:18:05,005 --> 00:18:06,009 - Oh. 389 00:18:06,011 --> 00:18:07,020 Nice. 390 00:18:21,021 --> 00:18:23,021 - [sighs] 391 00:18:25,013 --> 00:18:27,005 [sighs] 392 00:18:27,007 --> 00:18:29,012 I'm sorry. 393 00:18:29,014 --> 00:18:30,019 It just happened. 394 00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:32,023 He rolled us a joint, and then... 395 00:18:33,001 --> 00:18:35,003 It didn't mean anything. I promise. 396 00:18:35,005 --> 00:18:36,022 Colby and I just broke up, and I figured 397 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,000 since you and Luke were just hanging out... 398 00:18:39,002 --> 00:18:40,019 Oh, don't cry. 399 00:18:40,021 --> 00:18:42,010 You're gonna find somebody else. 400 00:18:42,012 --> 00:18:43,016 - Stop, I've--I've-- 401 00:18:43,018 --> 00:18:45,012 I don't even care about this, okay? 402 00:18:45,014 --> 00:18:48,008 I have way bigger shit going on! 403 00:18:49,007 --> 00:18:52,000 - Oh, so you're not mad? - No! No! 404 00:18:52,002 --> 00:18:54,009 I ju-- 405 00:18:54,011 --> 00:18:57,018 I--I just found out that I have cancer! 406 00:18:59,018 --> 00:19:02,010 - [quietly] Fuck. 407 00:19:03,008 --> 00:19:05,003 - Wow, okay. 408 00:19:05,005 --> 00:19:06,020 Let's unpack that. 409 00:19:06,022 --> 00:19:08,012 Why do you think you did it? 410 00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:11,000 - God, I know. I don't know. 411 00:19:11,002 --> 00:19:12,016 Just, um... 412 00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:15,021 like, being a dumb high-schooler, I guess? 413 00:19:15,023 --> 00:19:17,008 - I know, but the thing is, Darby, 414 00:19:17,010 --> 00:19:19,000 that a lot of kids get broken up with, 415 00:19:19,002 --> 00:19:20,021 but they don't go around telling people they had cancer. 416 00:19:22,004 --> 00:19:25,002 [light music] 417 00:19:25,004 --> 00:19:27,004 ♪ ♪ 418 00:19:27,006 --> 00:19:29,001 - I heard the news. 419 00:19:29,003 --> 00:19:31,005 I'm so sorry. 420 00:19:31,007 --> 00:19:34,000 - Yeah, I have to get a couple more tests done, 421 00:19:34,002 --> 00:19:36,012 but it's not looking good. 422 00:19:36,014 --> 00:19:38,000 - If you need any help, 423 00:19:38,002 --> 00:19:41,021 my uncle is an oncologist at Sloan Kettering. 424 00:19:41,023 --> 00:19:43,002 - Thanks. 425 00:19:43,004 --> 00:19:45,000 ♪ ♪ 426 00:19:45,002 --> 00:19:46,005 Hey. 427 00:19:46,007 --> 00:19:47,008 Thank you. 428 00:19:47,010 --> 00:19:49,001 ♪ ♪ 429 00:19:49,003 --> 00:19:51,008 - How you doing? You okay? 430 00:19:51,010 --> 00:19:52,022 - Get well soon. 431 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,021 [sighs] His name is Courage. 432 00:19:54,023 --> 00:19:56,009 Not that you need it. - She's so sweet. 433 00:19:56,011 --> 00:19:58,005 - You're obviously already brave. 434 00:19:58,007 --> 00:19:59,018 - Oh, my God. That's so sweet. 435 00:19:59,020 --> 00:20:00,021 - Thank you. 436 00:20:00,023 --> 00:20:05,021 ♪ ♪ 437 00:20:05,023 --> 00:20:07,006 I don't know why 438 00:20:07,008 --> 00:20:09,009 I told the lie in the first place, 439 00:20:09,011 --> 00:20:12,017 but once I did, I just got scared 440 00:20:12,019 --> 00:20:15,017 that all this love, 441 00:20:15,019 --> 00:20:17,015 and everyone fawning over me, 442 00:20:17,017 --> 00:20:19,010 would just go away if I came clean. 443 00:20:19,012 --> 00:20:21,000 ♪ ♪ 444 00:20:21,002 --> 00:20:23,022 - Darby, I'm so sorry to hear. 445 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:28,022 Any accommodations the school can make now or during finals, 446 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,000 please let me know. 447 00:20:31,002 --> 00:20:34,007 My office door is always open. 448 00:20:34,009 --> 00:20:41,013 ♪ ♪ 449 00:20:47,004 --> 00:20:49,008 [knock on door] 450 00:20:49,010 --> 00:20:52,001 ♪ ♪ 451 00:20:52,003 --> 00:20:53,015 - Hey. 452 00:20:53,017 --> 00:20:55,022 ♪ ♪ 453 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,000 Do you have a minute? 454 00:20:58,002 --> 00:21:03,016 ♪ ♪ 455 00:21:07,017 --> 00:21:09,019 - So did you hear that they hung Saddam? 456 00:21:09,021 --> 00:21:12,010 - Why didn't you tell me you had cancer over break? 457 00:21:15,005 --> 00:21:17,012 - Look, I just--I didn't-- 458 00:21:17,014 --> 00:21:19,020 I didn't want to worry you. 459 00:21:19,022 --> 00:21:22,001 You had so much going on with the play. 460 00:21:22,003 --> 00:21:25,013 - Don't-- don't worry about me. 461 00:21:27,020 --> 00:21:29,003 I love you. 462 00:21:30,001 --> 00:21:31,004 - What? 463 00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:36,001 You actually love me? - Yes. 464 00:21:40,016 --> 00:21:42,011 - Well, what about the whole Grace thing? 465 00:21:42,013 --> 00:21:45,007 - That--listen. Grace was a mistake. 466 00:21:47,010 --> 00:21:49,020 I'm just-- I'm sorry I hurt you. 467 00:21:55,002 --> 00:21:56,010 - It's okay. 468 00:21:56,012 --> 00:21:59,011 [light percussive music] 469 00:21:59,013 --> 00:22:06,007 ♪ ♪ 470 00:22:06,009 --> 00:22:09,007 [phone buzzing] 471 00:22:09,009 --> 00:22:11,005 ♪ ♪ 472 00:22:11,007 --> 00:22:14,005 [ominous music] 473 00:22:14,007 --> 00:22:21,012 ♪ ♪ 474 00:22:27,019 --> 00:22:30,005 - I know what you did. 475 00:22:30,016 --> 00:22:34,012 - ♪ Hold on to whatever you find, baby ♪ 476 00:22:34,014 --> 00:22:35,019 ♪ ♪ 477 00:22:35,021 --> 00:22:37,005 [door opens] 478 00:22:37,007 --> 00:22:40,006 ♪ Hold on to whatever ♪ [door shuts] 479 00:22:40,008 --> 00:22:41,021 ♪ ♪ 480 00:22:41,023 --> 00:22:46,020 ♪ Hold on to whatever you find, baby ♪ 481 00:22:46,022 --> 00:22:50,020 ♪ I don't trust myself with lovin' you ♪ 482 00:22:50,022 --> 00:22:53,008 ♪ ♪ 483 00:22:53,010 --> 00:22:57,006 ♪ Who do you love? ♪ 484 00:22:57,008 --> 00:23:02,014 - Um, after that, I withdrew from school, so... 485 00:23:02,016 --> 00:23:05,011 Yep. Fuckin' embarrassing. 486 00:23:05,013 --> 00:23:07,022 - It sounds more than fuckin' embarrassing. 487 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,011 It sounds fuckin' traumatizing. 488 00:23:12,015 --> 00:23:13,021 - Yeah. 489 00:23:13,023 --> 00:23:17,000 Well, it was a pretty stupid thing to do. 490 00:23:19,012 --> 00:23:21,000 - How'd your parents react? 491 00:23:21,002 --> 00:23:25,002 - Uh, well, they... 492 00:23:25,004 --> 00:23:27,006 they came to get me. 493 00:23:27,008 --> 00:23:31,009 They came together, actually, which was crazy, 494 00:23:31,011 --> 00:23:32,020 'cause they'd been divorced 495 00:23:32,022 --> 00:23:35,003 for over a decade at that point. 496 00:23:35,005 --> 00:23:36,010 - [grunts] 497 00:23:36,012 --> 00:23:40,004 Come on. - Okay. Let's go. 498 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:48,012 - Well, at least you still have your hair. 499 00:23:48,014 --> 00:23:49,020 - Oh, seriously, Larry? 500 00:23:49,022 --> 00:23:52,002 Does this seem like a good time for a joke? 501 00:23:52,004 --> 00:23:54,010 - Wocka-wocka. 502 00:23:54,012 --> 00:23:58,001 - I'm wondering how this is gonna look on your transcript. 503 00:23:58,003 --> 00:23:59,011 - Claud, we need to be sensitive. 504 00:23:59,013 --> 00:24:00,019 Clearly, this is about something else 505 00:24:00,021 --> 00:24:02,000 we have to deal with. 506 00:24:02,002 --> 00:24:03,012 - How are we gonna get all your stuff? 507 00:24:03,014 --> 00:24:05,012 All those things we bought at the Container Store. 508 00:24:05,014 --> 00:24:07,010 - Mom, can we please just not do this here? 509 00:24:07,012 --> 00:24:08,023 Can we please go? Like, I can't-- 510 00:24:09,001 --> 00:24:10,019 I can't be here right now. 511 00:24:10,021 --> 00:24:11,023 Please. 512 00:24:12,001 --> 00:24:14,014 [percussive music] 513 00:24:14,016 --> 00:24:16,010 - It was a lot of stuff we bought. 514 00:24:16,012 --> 00:24:19,013 [TV on the Radio's "I Was a Lover"] 515 00:24:19,015 --> 00:24:25,015 ♪ ♪ 516 00:24:25,017 --> 00:24:31,019 - ♪ I was a lover before this war ♪ 517 00:24:31,021 --> 00:24:34,020 ♪ Held up in a luxury suite ♪ 518 00:24:34,022 --> 00:24:38,008 ♪ Behind a real barricaded door ♪ 519 00:24:38,010 --> 00:24:39,022 - You know, Darby, 520 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,019 sometimes we think we're chasing one thing, 521 00:24:41,021 --> 00:24:43,009 and we're actually chasing another. 522 00:24:44,007 --> 00:24:45,012 Oh, God. 523 00:24:46,011 --> 00:24:48,003 Time's up. 524 00:24:49,005 --> 00:24:50,008 - Um, right. 525 00:24:50,010 --> 00:24:51,019 Uh, how much did you say it was? 526 00:24:51,021 --> 00:24:53,006 - Uh, it's 175. 527 00:24:53,008 --> 00:24:55,004 I have this new little thing here. 528 00:24:55,006 --> 00:24:56,016 And I'll see you next Tuesday, right? 529 00:24:56,018 --> 00:24:59,008 - Um, uh, I'll let you know, yeah. 530 00:24:59,010 --> 00:25:01,005 - I don't know how in the hell. 531 00:25:01,007 --> 00:25:02,016 - It's this side and that-- - Down. 532 00:25:02,018 --> 00:25:04,015 Down, down, down, down, down. - Yep. 533 00:25:04,017 --> 00:25:06,023 - Oh, my God. Look at that. There we go. 534 00:25:07,001 --> 00:25:11,000 You know, Darby, um, between now and next week, 535 00:25:11,002 --> 00:25:13,021 I want you to reflect on what it is 536 00:25:13,023 --> 00:25:18,000 that makes you feel like you don't deserve to be loved. 537 00:25:18,023 --> 00:25:21,004 - I didn't say that. 538 00:25:40,006 --> 00:25:42,017 - So why'd you do it, sweetheart? 539 00:25:45,012 --> 00:25:48,001 Clearly, this is about something else. 540 00:25:48,003 --> 00:25:49,005 - Oh, it's--it's nothing. 541 00:25:49,007 --> 00:25:50,014 It was just a-- 542 00:25:50,016 --> 00:25:52,014 it was just a funny joke, really. 543 00:25:52,016 --> 00:25:55,008 It was stupid, but it was just a stupid joke. 544 00:25:55,010 --> 00:25:57,014 - Darby... 545 00:25:57,016 --> 00:25:59,021 you know we love you very much, 546 00:25:59,023 --> 00:26:01,023 but that is unacceptable. 547 00:26:02,001 --> 00:26:03,015 - Claudia, that's not gonna help. 548 00:26:03,017 --> 00:26:05,012 - Please don't undermine me. 549 00:26:06,008 --> 00:26:09,008 - Is it our fault? Is it my fault? 550 00:26:12,005 --> 00:26:15,002 - I'm just so sad. 551 00:26:17,007 --> 00:26:18,023 [crying] 552 00:26:19,001 --> 00:26:22,020 But I'm glad we're going home, 'cause I just... 553 00:26:24,022 --> 00:26:26,022 I just want to be home with you guys, 554 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,018 even if you don't want me there. 555 00:26:28,020 --> 00:26:30,009 - [gasps] - Oh. 556 00:26:30,011 --> 00:26:32,014 Of course we want you there. 557 00:26:32,016 --> 00:26:33,020 We love you. 558 00:26:35,017 --> 00:26:37,016 - You haven't been here that long. 559 00:26:37,018 --> 00:26:39,021 I bet no one will even remember you. 560 00:26:42,009 --> 00:26:43,010 [engine starts] 561 00:26:43,012 --> 00:26:45,014 [light music] 562 00:26:45,016 --> 00:26:47,007 ♪ ♪ 563 00:26:47,009 --> 00:26:50,019 narrator: Darby did not return to therapy after that, 564 00:26:50,021 --> 00:26:52,013 for she sensed that digging deeper 565 00:26:52,015 --> 00:26:55,019 would require her to upend her entire life, 566 00:26:55,021 --> 00:26:58,022 which was built on the carefully constructed fantasy 567 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,010 that getting married was some sort of proof, 568 00:27:01,012 --> 00:27:05,006 once and for all, that she was lovable. 569 00:27:05,008 --> 00:27:07,002 ♪ ♪ 570 00:27:07,004 --> 00:27:10,006 - Babes, what are you doing? 571 00:27:10,008 --> 00:27:11,020 Let's go. 572 00:27:11,022 --> 00:27:13,005 - Okay. 573 00:27:13,007 --> 00:27:20,011 ♪ ♪ 574 00:27:22,010 --> 00:27:29,014 ♪ ♪ 575 00:27:31,005 --> 00:27:38,009 ♪ ♪ 576 00:27:40,005 --> 00:27:47,009 ♪ ♪ 577 00:27:49,006 --> 00:27:56,010 ♪ ♪ 578 00:27:58,006 --> 00:28:05,010 ♪ ♪ 579 00:28:07,006 --> 00:28:14,007 ♪ ♪ 40338

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