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1
00:00:01,100 --> 00:00:03,033
(groaning)
2
00:00:05,933 --> 00:00:10,833
(chuckles) Are you trying to
move that or give birth to it?
3
00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:13,666
Why don't you put your briefcase down, Mr.
Businessman?
4
00:00:13,733 --> 00:00:15,966
You can help me with
some real man's work.
5
00:00:16,033 --> 00:00:18,666
No, see, my brother,
here's what you need.
6
00:00:18,733 --> 00:00:20,900
Membership special
down at the gym.
7
00:00:20,966 --> 00:00:22,833
Mm‐hmm.
8
00:00:22,900 --> 00:00:25,900
What I need is you on the
other end of this dresser.
9
00:00:25,966 --> 00:00:27,733
Mm‐hmm.
10
00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:29,866
Alright. Let's go.
11
00:00:29,933 --> 00:00:31,566
Come on.
12
00:00:31,633 --> 00:00:35,466
(groaning)
13
00:00:35,533 --> 00:00:37,633
Thank goodness you're here.
14
00:00:39,700 --> 00:00:42,000
♪ Check, check, check it out ♪
15
00:00:42,066 --> 00:00:43,633
♪ What you want?
No free position ♪
16
00:00:43,700 --> 00:00:48,700
♪ We are living single ♪
♪ Hey ♪
17
00:00:48,766 --> 00:00:53,100
♪ Yes we are living the
single life ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪
18
00:00:53,166 --> 00:00:57,066
♪ We are living single ♪
♪ Hey ♪
19
00:00:57,133 --> 00:01:00,100
♪ Ooh, in a '90s kind of world ♪
20
00:01:00,166 --> 00:01:02,140
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
21
00:01:02,206 --> 00:01:03,440
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ What? ♪
22
00:01:03,506 --> 00:01:04,649
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪
23
00:01:04,673 --> 00:01:05,913
♪ Whenever this life get tough ♪
24
00:01:05,937 --> 00:01:07,240
♪ You got to fight with ♪
25
00:01:07,306 --> 00:01:09,226
♪ My homegirls standing
to my left and my right ♪
26
00:01:09,250 --> 00:01:10,940
♪ True blue, and
tight like glue ♪
27
00:01:11,006 --> 00:01:13,940
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check, check, check it out ♪
28
00:01:14,006 --> 00:01:15,873
♪ Single ♪
♪ Do what you want, girl... ♪
29
00:01:15,940 --> 00:01:18,106
♪ Ooh, in a '90s kind of world ♪
30
00:01:18,173 --> 00:01:21,740
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
31
00:01:21,806 --> 00:01:23,740
♪ Aah ♪
32
00:01:27,073 --> 00:01:28,306
Damn traffic light.
33
00:01:28,373 --> 00:01:30,506
Damn intersection.
34
00:01:30,573 --> 00:01:33,940
Oh! Damn table.
35
00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:36,473
Khadijah, you need to
sue that old lady.
36
00:01:36,540 --> 00:01:39,106
Sue the blue right
off of her hair.
37
00:01:39,173 --> 00:01:41,406
KYLE: Hey, hey. What's all
this noise down here?
38
00:01:41,473 --> 00:01:43,840
We're trying to watch
Beavis and Butt‐head.
39
00:01:43,906 --> 00:01:44,906
Yeah, what's going on?
40
00:01:44,940 --> 00:01:46,240
Okay, Khadijah was...
41
00:01:46,306 --> 00:01:47,940
(imitating engine)
42
00:01:48,006 --> 00:01:50,006
Then the other... (screeching)
43
00:01:50,073 --> 00:01:52,373
Then we... (makes
crashing sound)
44
00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:54,340
But thank goodness...
(makes whooshing sound)
45
00:01:56,706 --> 00:01:58,306
‐Khadijah was driving. ‐Mm‐hmm.
46
00:01:58,373 --> 00:01:59,640
‐They had a accident. ‐Mm‐hmm.
47
00:01:59,706 --> 00:02:01,646
But nobody got hurt.
48
00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:07,513
Khadijah, you're going
to need a lawyer.
49
00:02:07,580 --> 00:02:09,013
Somebody call Max.
50
00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:11,013
Max!
51
00:02:12,446 --> 00:02:14,213
Must you scream
out of the window
52
00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:16,480
like a no‐class lowlife?
53
00:02:16,546 --> 00:02:18,479
MAX: Coming!
54
00:02:21,346 --> 00:02:22,980
Okay, look at my Jeep.
55
00:02:23,046 --> 00:02:24,846
Yeah. Well, the good news is,
56
00:02:24,913 --> 00:02:26,913
now you can drive
from the back seat.
57
00:02:28,413 --> 00:02:30,246
I saw your car, girl.
What happened?
58
00:02:30,313 --> 00:02:32,880
Max, we're driving along, right?
Everything is cool.
59
00:02:32,946 --> 00:02:35,446
All of a sudden this
lady runs the red light.
60
00:02:35,513 --> 00:02:37,646
Next thing I know, bam!
Right into me.
61
00:02:37,713 --> 00:02:38,946
Actually, it was more like
62
00:02:39,013 --> 00:02:41,180
a bango, crunch
squeako‐squeako‐squeako.
63
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:46,246
That would be the tire spinning.
64
00:02:46,313 --> 00:02:48,313
Well, did you get an
estimate on repairs?
65
00:02:48,380 --> 00:02:51,246
The tow‐truck driver said
I'm looking at $1,500.
66
00:02:51,313 --> 00:02:52,513
Mmm!
67
00:02:52,580 --> 00:02:54,846
Khadijah, why don't you
let Overton fix the car?
68
00:02:54,913 --> 00:02:56,046
He can fix anything.
69
00:02:56,113 --> 00:02:59,346
Yeah. Why don't I just
take a little look?
70
00:03:03,586 --> 00:03:05,953
You know, I hate to
take business away
71
00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:08,086
from the auto body guys.
72
00:03:08,153 --> 00:03:10,120
Come on, Kyle.
73
00:03:10,186 --> 00:03:12,553
Guess I better call
my insurance company.
74
00:03:12,620 --> 00:03:14,220
Oh, please Khadijah.
75
00:03:14,286 --> 00:03:17,586
That is one way to definitely
double your insurance rates.
76
00:03:17,653 --> 00:03:20,420
Khadijah, you don't wanna do that.
You don't want to deal
77
00:03:20,486 --> 00:03:21,686
with those slimy bloodsuckers.
78
00:03:21,710 --> 00:03:25,420
‐What you need is a lawyer.
‐Yeah, right.
79
00:03:25,486 --> 00:03:28,386
I'm telling you, sue this old woman.
She's probably been
80
00:03:28,453 --> 00:03:31,286
socking away social
security for years.
81
00:03:31,353 --> 00:03:34,420
That's our money, anyway.
82
00:03:34,486 --> 00:03:36,986
‐What was she driving? ‐Oh,
God, Max, I don't know.
83
00:03:37,053 --> 00:03:39,753
It all happened so fast.
I think it was
84
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:43,020
a late‐model Cadillac
Fleetwood special edition
85
00:03:43,086 --> 00:03:46,020
with special bumper trim
and cruise control.
86
00:03:48,086 --> 00:03:50,853
An old biddy in a Cadillac?
87
00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:53,320
Sounds like there's
justice to be served.
88
00:03:53,386 --> 00:03:55,186
Mm‐hmm.
89
00:03:55,253 --> 00:03:58,053
And we should all see a doctor.
90
00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:02,060
I mean, who knows? Maybe one of
us got lucky and is injured.
91
00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:08,260
Max, I don't want to sue
the little old lady.
92
00:04:08,326 --> 00:04:11,326
Good for you, Khadijah. Too
many people sue these days.
93
00:04:11,393 --> 00:04:13,160
I think our forefathers
would be shocked
94
00:04:13,226 --> 00:04:16,326
if they saw what had become
of our legal system.
95
00:04:16,393 --> 00:04:18,926
And then they'd be shocked
to see airplanes flying
96
00:04:18,993 --> 00:04:21,460
and indoor plumbing,
ooh, and television.
97
00:04:21,526 --> 00:04:23,993
Wow. That would flip them, huh?
98
00:04:25,093 --> 00:04:26,760
Anyway, good for you.
99
00:04:26,826 --> 00:04:28,793
Maybe we can settle
this out of court.
100
00:04:28,860 --> 00:04:31,093
I'll call her now and
set up a meeting.
101
00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:32,926
Great. We can get to
her face‐to‐face.
102
00:04:32,993 --> 00:04:34,359
‐We? ‐Oh, come on.
103
00:04:34,426 --> 00:04:37,159
I should be there. Not as
a lawyer, as a friend.
104
00:04:37,226 --> 00:04:39,226
A friend who went to law school.
105
00:04:39,293 --> 00:04:42,660
A friend who graduated top of her class.
A friend who was...
106
00:04:42,726 --> 00:04:45,526
Who won't shut up until I
tell her she can come.
107
00:04:45,593 --> 00:04:48,126
Okay, I guess I can make it.
108
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,933
(growling)
109
00:05:06,666 --> 00:05:09,600
(grunts)
110
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,733
What are you doing here?
111
00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:15,000
What are you doing here?
112
00:05:15,066 --> 00:05:16,633
I asked you first.
113
00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:21,433
I am polishing the marble
statue that is my body.
114
00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:23,666
What are you going to do now?
115
00:05:23,733 --> 00:05:25,700
I'm going to do the stair thing.
116
00:05:25,766 --> 00:05:27,033
Me, too.
117
00:05:35,966 --> 00:05:38,200
Oh, this thing ain't so tough.
118
00:05:38,266 --> 00:05:40,733
‐Piece of cake. ‐I don't know.
119
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,833
You look kind of shaky to me.
120
00:05:43,900 --> 00:05:45,166
Brother, please.
121
00:06:00,573 --> 00:06:02,506
(both panting)
122
00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:07,906
Got to hold some back.
123
00:06:07,973 --> 00:06:09,340
Yeah.
124
00:06:09,406 --> 00:06:11,340
Don't use it all up.
125
00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:24,906
Synclaire, this is an
accident settlement.
126
00:06:24,973 --> 00:06:26,706
Why are you putting out snacks?
127
00:06:26,773 --> 00:06:31,006
Chex Mix goes with
every occasion.
128
00:06:31,073 --> 00:06:33,606
And they keep so well.
129
00:06:33,673 --> 00:06:36,073
Khadijah, I've got my
travel agent on the phone.
130
00:06:36,140 --> 00:06:40,273
How much money would we get, so I
can tell him where to send me?
131
00:06:40,340 --> 00:06:42,306
Regine, there isn't gonna
be any big settlement.
132
00:06:42,373 --> 00:06:45,940
All I want is the
money to fix my car.
133
00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:48,973
Ah, Ms. Shortridge,
thank you for coming.
134
00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:50,040
Who's your friend?
135
00:06:50,106 --> 00:06:52,973
This is my attorney,
Jack Peabody.
136
00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:55,273
I thought this was gonna
be a friendly settlement‐‐
137
00:06:55,340 --> 00:06:57,173
‐No lawyers. ‐One lawyer.
138
00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:59,780
That's almost none.
Don't you worry.
139
00:07:01,446 --> 00:07:06,746
Hey, aren't you that guy
from TV‐‐ 1‐800‐SUE‐'EM?
140
00:07:06,813 --> 00:07:12,813
Guilty. I made Joseph
Lyndon $2.1 million.
141
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:14,946
Wow. You sound just
like your commercial.
142
00:07:15,013 --> 00:07:18,013
Wait till you see our next one.
This guy had no license,
143
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,213
no insurance and was
wanted in three states.
144
00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:22,513
‐Really? What did you get him?
‐$2.1 million.
145
00:07:22,580 --> 00:07:24,513
My standard figure.
146
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,246
Pardon me. Did you
say 2.1 million?
147
00:07:28,313 --> 00:07:29,313
Yes, I did.
148
00:07:29,380 --> 00:07:31,346
Everybody, I'd like you
to meet my lawyer...
149
00:07:31,413 --> 00:07:34,246
Maxine Shaw‐‐Evans, Bell and Associates.
Let's take a seat.
150
00:07:35,746 --> 00:07:37,613
I thought you didn't
have an attorney.
151
00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:40,613
Yeah, well, that was
2.1 million ago.
152
00:07:42,746 --> 00:07:46,080
My client, Shirley Shortridge,
is prepared to pay you $800
153
00:07:46,146 --> 00:07:47,613
and call it a done deal.
154
00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:51,913
That's it? It'll cost at least
1,500 to get my car fixed.
155
00:07:51,980 --> 00:07:53,913
Excuse us.
156
00:07:56,746 --> 00:07:59,246
Khadijah, this is how it's done.
He starts with a
157
00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:01,120
very low figure. We
counter it opposite.
158
00:08:01,186 --> 00:08:03,186
We meet somewhere in the middle.
Everybody's happy.
159
00:08:03,253 --> 00:08:05,253
See? It's a good thing I'm here.
(chuckles)
160
00:08:11,053 --> 00:08:12,153
5,000.
161
00:08:12,220 --> 00:08:13,353
800.
162
00:08:13,420 --> 00:08:14,686
Excuse us.
163
00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:19,186
Okay, it's going a little
differently than I thought.
164
00:08:19,253 --> 00:08:20,586
What should we do?
165
00:08:20,653 --> 00:08:23,386
You could settle right now, but
that won't cover your expenses.
166
00:08:23,453 --> 00:08:26,786
‐Want your money? Go to court.
‐Maybe we should just settle.
167
00:08:26,853 --> 00:08:28,320
It's not how I'd do it.
168
00:08:28,386 --> 00:08:30,420
I just want this
thing to be over.
169
00:08:30,486 --> 00:08:33,353
Okay. You know, you're the client.
If you say settle,
170
00:08:33,420 --> 00:08:34,520
we settle.
171
00:08:34,586 --> 00:08:37,353
Hmm. I like being the client.
172
00:08:38,420 --> 00:08:41,353
Oh, my, what lovely glasses.
173
00:08:45,553 --> 00:08:51,420
I'll bet you could start a
campfire with these, huh?
174
00:08:51,486 --> 00:08:54,686
Regine, give the woman back her glasses.
Thank you.
175
00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:00,893
We'll accept the settlement.
176
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:03,093
‐You're making a wise choice.
‐I always do.
177
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:04,960
‐Things won't have to get ugly.
‐Exactly.
178
00:09:05,026 --> 00:09:07,793
You don't have to suffer
a nasty loss in court.
179
00:09:07,860 --> 00:09:09,060
Excuse me?
180
00:09:09,126 --> 00:09:11,593
I know how humiliating a
crushing defeat can be.
181
00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:14,593
Well, I don't know
personally, but I've heard.
182
00:09:16,626 --> 00:09:19,126
‐So, you're saying I'd lose.
‐Your words.
183
00:09:19,193 --> 00:09:21,693
Oh, no, no. I don't think so.
My words are,
184
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:24,026
keep your little $800,
We're not settling.
185
00:09:24,093 --> 00:09:26,426
‐We're not? ‐No. We'll
see you in court.
186
00:09:32,060 --> 00:09:34,493
You do realize I've
never lost a case.
187
00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:36,526
It just so happens I've
never lost either.
188
00:09:36,593 --> 00:09:39,860
‐Well, one of us is gonna lose.
‐I guess it's gonna be you.
189
00:09:39,926 --> 00:09:43,360
(chuckles): ‐You, you, you.
‐You, you, you.
190
00:09:57,626 --> 00:09:58,993
Great workout, huh?
191
00:09:59,060 --> 00:10:00,566
Yeah. Nothing like
a stair climber
192
00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:03,300
to make you feel like a lion.
193
00:10:03,366 --> 00:10:05,100
‐Roar. ‐Uh‐huh.
194
00:10:09,533 --> 00:10:12,033
Stairs look steeper to you?
195
00:10:12,100 --> 00:10:13,833
I call the side
with the railing.
196
00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:15,833
Damn!
197
00:10:21,966 --> 00:10:24,633
Khadijah, how many times
do I've to go over this?
198
00:10:24,700 --> 00:10:26,933
KHADIJAH: Until I understand
what you did back there.
199
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:30,900
Hey, Khadijah, now just chill out, alright?
Max's an attorney.
200
00:10:30,966 --> 00:10:32,266
She knows what she's doing.
201
00:10:32,333 --> 00:10:34,066
Well, that's not the
impression I got.
202
00:10:36,333 --> 00:10:38,700
‐Hi, guys. How's it going?
‐Feeling pumped.
203
00:10:38,766 --> 00:10:41,400
Eye of the tiger. Grrr.
204
00:10:41,466 --> 00:10:44,200
Trust me, Khadijah. I
did what was best.
205
00:10:44,266 --> 00:10:46,633
For who? That man worked
you like a puppet.
206
00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:48,800
‐You lost it. ‐I
did not lose it.
207
00:10:48,866 --> 00:10:51,600
I've worked too hard for
some man who got his diploma
208
00:10:51,666 --> 00:10:53,333
off a matchbook to diss me.
209
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:56,900
Okay, maybe I lost it a little,
but I still did the right thing.
210
00:10:56,966 --> 00:10:58,833
Look, is it too late to settle?
211
00:10:58,900 --> 00:11:01,640
What? Oh, Khadijah, this is
what the legal system is for‐‐
212
00:11:01,706 --> 00:11:07,073
to carefully examine, compensate
anyone who may've been wronged.
213
00:11:07,140 --> 00:11:09,440
Oh, my neck!
214
00:11:11,173 --> 00:11:15,106
Ain't nothing wrong with
your neck but wig burn.
215
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:20,840
I just can't believe we're going
up against that Jack Peabody.
216
00:11:20,906 --> 00:11:23,740
I hope Miss Shortridge is
not his next commercial.
217
00:11:23,806 --> 00:11:25,740
Yeah, what if we lose, Max?
218
00:11:26,806 --> 00:11:28,673
Lose?
219
00:11:29,973 --> 00:11:34,440
Khadijah, I am Maxine
Shaw, attorney‐at‐law.
220
00:11:34,506 --> 00:11:37,173
I lose weight. I lose patience.
221
00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,973
If you keep working my
nerves, I may lose my mind.
222
00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:43,040
But I do not lose cases,
so you just get your butt
223
00:11:43,106 --> 00:11:46,606
used to leather, you're comin'
home from court in a Lexus.
224
00:11:52,706 --> 00:11:55,206
Hey, you guys want some water?
225
00:11:55,273 --> 00:11:58,506
Well, hell, we're
almost home now.
226
00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,513
Okay, Regine, let's
hear your testimony.
227
00:12:09,913 --> 00:12:14,113
Well, Your Honor, we were
at Flatbush and Avenue J.
228
00:12:14,180 --> 00:12:19,380
As we slowly and cautiously
eased into the intersection,
229
00:12:19,446 --> 00:12:21,946
that woman raced toward us
230
00:12:22,013 --> 00:12:25,280
like a bat out of hell and
plowed right into us.
231
00:12:25,346 --> 00:12:29,113
And suddenly, I felt a
snap, and I knew then
232
00:12:29,180 --> 00:12:32,613
that I had suffered a
soft‐tissue injury
233
00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:35,646
to the iliac region of my back.
234
00:12:38,313 --> 00:12:41,946
The kind that doesn't
show up in the x rays.
235
00:12:42,013 --> 00:12:46,080
What? You date a few doctors,
you learn a few things.
236
00:12:46,146 --> 00:12:48,380
This won't help Khadijah
to perjure yourself.
237
00:12:48,446 --> 00:12:49,813
You gotta tell the truth.
238
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:52,780
(like Jack Nicholson): You
can't handle the truth.
239
00:12:56,713 --> 00:12:58,846
I've been waiting all
night to say that.
240
00:13:00,386 --> 00:13:02,586
Alright, Regine, let's go
over your testimony again.
241
00:13:02,653 --> 00:13:04,120
No, no, no, no. That's it!
242
00:13:04,186 --> 00:13:06,986
It's 1:00 in the morning.
Enough is enough.
243
00:13:07,053 --> 00:13:10,053
The court date's tomorrow, you
are not near to being prepared.
244
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:11,853
These answers have to
become second nature.
245
00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:13,886
Peabody is going to bombard
you with questions.
246
00:13:13,953 --> 00:13:15,953
Like how many lanes
were in the road?
247
00:13:16,020 --> 00:13:18,520
‐What was the exact time of day?
‐I don't know.
248
00:13:18,586 --> 00:13:20,653
Exactly how fast
were you traveling?
249
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:24,320
27.5 miles an hour‐‐ well
within the legal speed limit,
250
00:13:24,386 --> 00:13:26,653
but fast enough to
injure a spleen.
251
00:13:29,386 --> 00:13:30,586
Okay.
252
00:13:30,653 --> 00:13:34,386
Maybe she's ready, but the
rest of you need work.
253
00:13:34,453 --> 00:13:36,153
‐I'm going to bed. ‐No, wait!
254
00:13:36,220 --> 00:13:37,953
We've to go over the
intersection diagram.
255
00:13:38,020 --> 00:13:40,786
Exhibit "A," day three. I'll
spring this on the weasel.
256
00:13:40,853 --> 00:13:42,353
‐Day three? ‐Yes...
257
00:13:42,420 --> 00:13:44,386
Jack Peabody's famous for
drawing these things out
258
00:13:44,453 --> 00:13:46,186
to wear down the opposition.
259
00:13:46,253 --> 00:13:49,020
But hey, don't you worry, girl.
I'm gonna hang in there‐‐
260
00:13:49,086 --> 00:13:50,653
week two, three,
week four, five...
261
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:53,020
No, no, no, no, no! Hold up, yo.
262
00:13:53,086 --> 00:13:55,786
Have you lost your
ever‐loving mind?
263
00:13:55,853 --> 00:13:59,153
I don't want to grow old doing this.
I'm off after taking 800.
264
00:13:59,220 --> 00:14:01,560
What? After all the
work I've done for you?
265
00:14:01,626 --> 00:14:03,626
‐You did this for yourself.
‐What?
266
00:14:03,693 --> 00:14:06,893
Look, I just wanted to settle this.
No, you had to duke
267
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:11,260
it out with some lawyer
who pissed you off.
268
00:14:11,326 --> 00:14:14,726
Well, if you want to settle,
do it your damn self.
269
00:14:14,793 --> 00:14:18,393
Alright, you two, now stop it, alright?
It's late, we're tired,
270
00:14:18,460 --> 00:14:21,193
and it's easy to lose sight of
what's really important here‐‐
271
00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:23,960
a large cash award.
272
00:14:24,026 --> 00:14:26,026
No, see, I'm gonna take
my lawyer's advice.
273
00:14:26,093 --> 00:14:28,826
‐I'll settle this on my own.
‐Yes, I guess you will.
274
00:14:28,893 --> 00:14:30,193
Peace out.
275
00:14:35,626 --> 00:14:39,460
Just remember Khadijah,
Mark Twain said,
276
00:14:39,526 --> 00:14:42,860
"A lawyer who represents himself
has a fool for a client."
277
00:14:42,926 --> 00:14:46,660
‐Are you calling me a fool?
‐No, Mark Twain is.
278
00:14:57,326 --> 00:15:00,600
I think it's laughing at us.
279
00:15:00,666 --> 00:15:03,166
‐Are you guys gonna use these?
‐Oh, no. No. No.
280
00:15:03,233 --> 00:15:06,866
‐Go ahead. ‐We're working
upper body today.
281
00:15:06,933 --> 00:15:09,033
Yeah, we got pec work to do.
282
00:15:10,566 --> 00:15:12,200
‐Uh, Overton... ‐Yeah?
283
00:15:12,266 --> 00:15:13,733
Slap some more weights on that.
284
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,866
You sure, man?
285
00:15:15,933 --> 00:15:19,366
‐Of course I'm sure, man. ‐Oh...
yeah, no problem.
286
00:15:19,433 --> 00:15:23,366
Just get this up to your, uh...
usual weight.
287
00:15:23,433 --> 00:15:30,233
‐Uh‐huh. ‐We'll put a...
50 on this side.
288
00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:35,066
And we'll put a...
'nother 50 on this side.
289
00:15:35,133 --> 00:15:38,066
Whoa, looks like we're running
out of room on the bar.
290
00:15:40,433 --> 00:15:41,433
Alright...
291
00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:42,733
‐Alright? ‐On three.
292
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,666
‐One... two... three.
‐Alright, your weight, man.
293
00:15:45,733 --> 00:15:48,866
‐Count them off. ‐Alright.
294
00:15:48,933 --> 00:15:49,866
(sighs)
295
00:15:49,933 --> 00:15:52,733
One.
296
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:54,733
One.
297
00:15:56,066 --> 00:15:58,000
One.
298
00:16:00,773 --> 00:16:02,640
Get help.
299
00:16:02,706 --> 00:16:05,773
Excuse me, excuse me.
Brother, help me, help me.
300
00:16:16,006 --> 00:16:20,040
Alright. Good luck, girl. Oh, and
I brought you a little gift.
301
00:16:20,106 --> 00:16:24,673
It's a medical dictionary. I
circled all the money words.
302
00:16:28,340 --> 00:16:31,840
What're you doing here? I told
you I can do this on my own.
303
00:16:31,906 --> 00:16:35,406
I know. I'm just here to check you out.
Maybe pick up a few
304
00:16:35,473 --> 00:16:38,173
pointers. (scoffs)
305
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:39,573
BAILIFF: Oyez, oyez!
306
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:42,440
All those having business in
the Civil Court in the City
307
00:16:42,506 --> 00:16:45,506
of New York and in Kings County,
come forward, you'll be heard.
308
00:16:45,573 --> 00:16:48,306
The Honorable Richard Q.
Patterson presiding.
309
00:16:51,773 --> 00:16:55,273
This is "Kodigy James
310
00:16:55,340 --> 00:16:59,506
versus Shirley Shortridge."
311
00:16:59,573 --> 00:17:02,813
I retire in six years,
so let's move it.
312
00:17:05,313 --> 00:17:08,013
Are you two victims
of the accident?
313
00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,013
No, we are not victims.
314
00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:13,980
We're just in really good shape.
315
00:17:14,046 --> 00:17:16,080
So, what are you
guys doing here?
316
00:17:16,146 --> 00:17:20,113
Well, it was either this or go
back to that damn health club.
317
00:17:20,180 --> 00:17:22,280
Your Honor, I'm Khadijah James.
318
00:17:22,346 --> 00:17:25,313
And is your counsel here?
I'm representing myself.
319
00:17:25,380 --> 00:17:28,180
‐Are you a lawyer? ‐No,
I'm a magazine publisher.
320
00:17:28,246 --> 00:17:31,446
Well, that's okay. I'm
not really a judge.
321
00:17:31,513 --> 00:17:33,880
I actually sing in a choir.
322
00:17:33,946 --> 00:17:35,880
That's me there.
323
00:17:41,346 --> 00:17:43,480
Your Honor, Miss Shortridge
offered me a settlement
324
00:17:43,546 --> 00:17:46,046
a few weeks ago, I'd
like to take the money.
325
00:17:46,113 --> 00:17:48,480
Your Honor, we know
of no such offer.
326
00:17:48,546 --> 00:17:52,313
What? You offered me $800.
I want to take the money.
327
00:17:52,380 --> 00:17:54,446
Are you planning to buy a vowel?
328
00:17:56,446 --> 00:18:01,453
This is a court of law. Do you
have an opening statement?
329
00:18:02,653 --> 00:18:04,153
Yes, I do.
330
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:10,386
I...
331
00:18:10,453 --> 00:18:13,886
I have the right
to remain silent.
332
00:18:13,953 --> 00:18:20,586
And, uh... and anything I say
and do will be held against me
333
00:18:20,653 --> 00:18:27,320
in a court of law... which,
as you pointed out, this is.
334
00:18:27,386 --> 00:18:29,553
Your Honor, may I
consult with my lawyer?
335
00:18:29,620 --> 00:18:31,820
Ah! Now you have a lawyer.
336
00:18:33,986 --> 00:18:39,353
Oh, a wonderful lawyer.
337
00:18:39,420 --> 00:18:42,586
Maxine Shaw, Your Honor,
counsel for the plaintiff.
338
00:18:42,653 --> 00:18:45,853
Warn the townspeople.
The beast is loose.
339
00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:50,853
‐I owe you one. ‐Yep.
340
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:53,586
But this one's for you.
341
00:18:55,853 --> 00:18:58,220
(snaps fingers)
342
00:18:58,286 --> 00:18:59,853
Your Honor, two weeks ago
343
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:03,326
my client, Khadijah James, was
involved in a traffic accident
344
00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:05,826
with the defendant,
Shirley Shortridge.
345
00:19:05,893 --> 00:19:09,260
We will prove that this accident
was the result of negligence,
346
00:19:09,326 --> 00:19:11,860
recklessness and
carelessness on the part
347
00:19:11,926 --> 00:19:13,260
of the defendant.
348
00:19:13,326 --> 00:19:17,093
In the coming weeks, we will
hear from many eyewitnesses,
349
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:20,793
including an off‐duty
police officer...
350
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:23,860
Oh, an eagle scout...
351
00:19:23,926 --> 00:19:25,226
and a priest
352
00:19:25,293 --> 00:19:28,126
who was sweeping up rice in front of St.
Christopher's.
353
00:19:28,193 --> 00:19:30,960
We also intend to offer
expert testimony
354
00:19:31,026 --> 00:19:33,793
from Theodore Anderson, a
retired automotive engineer
355
00:19:33,860 --> 00:19:37,160
who designed the car driven
recklessly by the defendant.
356
00:19:39,626 --> 00:19:42,293
‐She's good. ‐Eh.
357
00:19:44,193 --> 00:19:46,560
So, what are we talking
about here, Your Honor?
358
00:19:46,626 --> 00:19:49,060
A simple car accident?
No, I think not.
359
00:19:49,126 --> 00:19:51,360
That Jeep was my client's
only means of transporting
360
00:19:51,426 --> 00:19:53,393
each and every issue of
her struggling magazine
361
00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:54,660
to the printer.
362
00:19:54,726 --> 00:19:56,593
A magazine that gives voice
363
00:19:56,660 --> 00:19:59,060
to New York's
African‐American community...
364
00:19:59,126 --> 00:20:02,366
a voice the defendant
almost stilled.
365
00:20:02,433 --> 00:20:04,633
So today we ask‐‐ no, Your Honor
366
00:20:04,700 --> 00:20:07,600
no, I think, uh‐huh...
we demand...
367
00:20:10,533 --> 00:20:13,566
compensation so that
my client may continue
368
00:20:13,633 --> 00:20:15,166
to pursue her lifelong dream‐‐
369
00:20:15,233 --> 00:20:17,733
of freedom of speech,
freedom of the press
370
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,366
and freedom for all.
371
00:20:19,433 --> 00:20:22,800
‐Yeah. ‐SYNCLAIRE:
God bless America!
372
00:20:22,866 --> 00:20:25,466
(gavel banging)
373
00:20:26,966 --> 00:20:29,966
Unless you'd like to make
some other arrangement.
374
00:20:30,033 --> 00:20:31,066
(clears throat)
375
00:20:31,133 --> 00:20:33,400
Your Honor, may we
approach the bench?
376
00:20:36,033 --> 00:20:37,766
We're prepared to renew
our previous offer.
377
00:20:37,833 --> 00:20:39,300
I know of no such offer.
378
00:20:39,366 --> 00:20:40,500
‐800. ‐1,500.
379
00:20:40,566 --> 00:20:41,566
‐1,000. ‐1,500.
380
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:44,333
‐1,500. ‐And an apology.
381
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,233
I apologize.
382
00:20:47,300 --> 00:20:49,600
Ladies and gentlemen,
this case is dismissed.
383
00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:52,033
First time for everything, Jack.
384
00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:56,233
(shouting and cheering)
385
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:03,806
Don't touch me, unless
you want to get burned!
386
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:11,173
(up‐tempo music playing)
387
00:21:12,340 --> 00:21:14,273
Whoo!
388
00:21:17,906 --> 00:21:20,740
Ooh, it's not a celebration
till there's cake!
389
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:24,006
"Better luck next time"?
390
00:21:24,073 --> 00:21:26,240
I thought we were going to lose.
391
00:21:26,306 --> 00:21:29,306
Well, the first piece goes to
Max, for getting me my money.
392
00:21:29,373 --> 00:21:31,906
‐Girl, you worked it today.
‐I know, I know. (Chuckles)
393
00:21:31,973 --> 00:21:33,940
Genius‐‐ having that old
auto engineer there.
394
00:21:34,006 --> 00:21:36,740
What auto engineer? I saw an
old man in the courtroom.
395
00:21:36,806 --> 00:21:39,506
I winked, he waved.
396
00:21:39,573 --> 00:21:42,073
That was a bluff?
Damn, you are good.
397
00:21:42,140 --> 00:21:44,973
Yeah, but when I got outside,
the old pervert goosed me.
398
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,406
‐Here you go. ‐What's this?
399
00:21:49,473 --> 00:21:50,806
My bill.
400
00:21:52,906 --> 00:21:55,140
I thought you said you'd
represent me for nothing.
401
00:21:55,206 --> 00:21:57,706
That was before you fired me.
402
00:21:57,773 --> 00:22:00,313
Oh, okay. No problem.
403
00:22:00,380 --> 00:22:03,013
‐I‐I got your money right here.
‐Yeah, give it up.
404
00:22:06,646 --> 00:22:07,780
Oh!
405
00:22:07,846 --> 00:22:09,446
KHADIJAH: Sue me!
406
00:22:15,846 --> 00:22:17,780
OVERTON: I can handle this.
407
00:22:45,846 --> 00:22:47,346
Kyle, stop this crazy thing!
31428
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