All language subtitles for Living Single - S05 E08 - Three Men and a Buckeye (480p - HULU Web-DL)

Whoo! Nay‐nay.

This is the best seafood
gumbo I've ever had.

Girl, where did you learn
to cook like this?

My mother. She was a lousy cook.

So I either had to learn
or starve to death.

You know, I was ten
before I realized

that gravy doesn't have skin.

Now, you know what I
like with my dinner.

A little dessert.

Boy! Something smells
good up in here.

It's called a relationship.
Get out.

[sneezes]

Ooh, now that's just right.

See, I was born on the Bayou.

Yeah, well. Bye, you.

So, uh, next time..

We do this at your place.

You know, it's funny
you should say that.

Regine, how would you feel,
about moving in with me?

Movin' in?

Baby, I don't know, I mean..

You know, trade this cramped
apartment with two roommates

and one bathroom for, a mansion
with the man that I adore

and an army of servants.. Hmm..

You think they could come and
pack my stuff up tonight?

♪ We are living ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ Ooh and in a
90's kinda world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep ya head up ♪
♪ What ♪

♪ Keep ya head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get
tough you gotta fight ♪

♪ With my home girl standin'
to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue we tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living ♪

♪ Single ♪

I've told you before, get your
drunk butt off our stoop.

Baby, it's here at last.

Tickets for tomorrows O
State Michigan game.

Oh, good, football.

Yeah.

My Cousin Damien is the
starting quarterback.

You know Uncle Smoke
Eye's youngest son?

Girl, we gonna be telling
this story to our grand kids

till they pull the plug on us.

Oh, would you look at this?

A fabric softener sample.

I figured we leave tonight
and get there in time

for the predawn tail gate party.

And then we enter the holiest
of holies, Ohio stadium.

The Horseshoe. Yeah.
Think about it, baby.

Us just sittin'
there, drinking beer

and eating hot dogs and
hoping our frozen fingers

don't snap off like
brittle twigs.

Oh, well, I‐I can
picture all that, Obie.

‐ Yeah.. ‐ Except one
thing's missing.

‐ Oh, what's that, girl? ‐ Me.

Obie, I hate football.

Wait a minute. Now,
this just can't be.

Now, wait a minute.

Didn't you go with me
to all those Jets games

when we were datin'?

Yeah, but we were datin'.

Come on, man. Now, get your
drunk butt off the porch.

Oh, Khadijah.

Hey, you want to go with me

to the O State Michigan
game tomorrow?

I mean, you not repulsed by the
world's greatest sport, are you?

‐ 'No, I'm down
with that.' ‐ Cool.

Sure. Drinking beer,
eating hot dogs.

Watching 22 Titans run
up and down the field.

Oh, hold it. I'm sure
you've got one of these.

"You are cordially invited
to a high tea this Saturday

"where Ms. Regine Hunter
will make an announcement

of great social and
political import."

What the hell is this?

Regine, whatever this
drama is, I cant make it.

Oh, but you have to.

It's a critical turning
point in my life.

And I already did
the calligraphy

on your place card.

Oh. Oh, wait now. This is big.

The last time she calligraphized

was when she announced that she
was becoming a vegetarian.

Girl, you started eating
pork‐chops again.

Alright, if you must know

Dexter asked me to move
in and I accepted.

Oh! Oh, my God! Oh! My God!

Hey, look, I‐I'm
happy for you too.

But Overton just invited
me to the Ohio State game.

Now, can't you have
this tea party

in the stadium parking
lot or something?

‐ Ohio State Michigan? ‐ Yeah.

Man that, man that game's
been sold out for months.

Look, please tell me
you've got an extra ticket

for the brother that makes
the blueberry pancakes

you said you'd go to war for.

Well, I might, let's just see

how this little scenario,
uh, works out.

Shall we?

Alright, now, Khadijah, look.

This is not some frivolous
girl party, alright?

I need, I need my friends,
my girls around me

when I tell mom.

She doesn't usually fake a
seizure when there's company.

So once again you're using us.

Just one last time.

‐ Get off of me. ‐ Yes!

Regine, I came over
as soon as I heard

that you were moving out.

Oh, no, I did dance
around a little bit..

Don't hide your pain, Max,
how do you really feel.

Just let it out.

You know, I can't even
believe that you cool

with this living together thing.

I mean, you cried for days when

Oprah let Stedman move in.

So what? You, you think
I'm makin' a mistake?

No, no, absolutely not.
No, come one.

I'll help you pack, girl, come on.
Let's go.

Alright, look.

Dexter and I are headed
to the altar eventually.

You know, I mean
in the meantime..

Hey, why shouldn't we
share every moment

that we can together?

And if that's what you're
going to say to Mother Hunter

you've got your work
cut out for you.

Regine, I heard the news of
your impending co‐habitation

and I'm here to extend my
sincerest good wishes.

Russell, that is so sweet.

And so totally not you.

Oh, I'm full of surprises,
Here's another one.

Marry me.

Okay, Regine, I'mma
go warm up the car.

Russell, I'm, I'm speechless.

Oh, um..

Let's give the lovebirds
some privacy.

Oh, I'm staying. I want
to hear her answer.

Sweetie, it's beautiful.
It really is and..

When the right woman comes along

I know that she will love
it and you very much.

You're an elegant woman, Regine.

Come now, shimmy for
me one last time.

Go ahead, girl.

I'll carry this
memory to my grave.

I may belong to another man

but my shimmy will
always belong to you.

Look, Synclaire..

I don't want to sound ungrateful

but we, we just going to
the game, not catering it.

Yeah.

Gentlemen, when you are
going on a road trip

you can never have enough gas,
food and clean underwear.

Oh, so that explains the
Ziploc bag full of Jockey's.

Overton, if you're
bound for the road

please take me with you.

I need to drive away my pain

on an endless stretch
of blue highway.

Oh, cool, then join the party.

Lord knows we've got enough
food and drawers for everybody.

Right, man.

My customized van is
at your disposal.

It has very few miles on it
and only one previous owner.

One owner, huh?

What did he use this van for?
Voodoo ceremonies?

Man, I don't care if you drag me

behind this buck in
a little red wagon.

I'm going to the O State
Michigan game, eh?

I'll never forget the first
time dad and Uncle Smoke Eye

took me down to Columbia.

Ten below zero, up in
the nosebleed seats.

When Jim Holders ran that
kickoff back for a touchdown

I spit my pacifier
right out my mouth.

Man, the law of American
football is beyond me.

Women's soccer? Whoo!
Now, that's a game.

A very good way to meet
large aggressive women.

Hey, man, how do you cut the
heat down on this thing?

Hotter in here than two
boll weevils in wool socks.

Actually it is off.

What you're feeling is
the heat coming off

our slightly cracked
engine block.

Oh, man!

Now, that's much better.

What is that blasphemous
word written across

your puny little chest?

I'm just a Michigan fan.

Go blue.

You a Wolverine?

Russell, pull the van over.

No, on second thoughts, just
speed up and open up the door.

No, man, I already
got one ticket

for dumping a foreign object.
No.

Is that a mirage with legs?

Has God sent me a beautiful
budding flower to heal my pain?

No, no, we are not
picking up some stranger

man, she could be
a serial‐killer.

‐ Hey, guys. ‐ 'Hey, girl.'

Who you for? O
State or Michigan?

Buckeye to the bone.

‐ Oh, well, get on the bus!
‐ Yeah!

♪ Fight the team
across the field ♪

♪ Show them Ohio's here ♪

Do you know what a buckeye is?

It's an inedible nut that falls
to the ground and lies there.

Oh, like your players.

And you know what would
happen to a Wolverine's head

if a Buckeye hit it at
a 100 miles an hour?

No, but I know one thing,
I know one thing‐‐.

Quiet! Quiet now, quiet now!

Now, your squabbling will
awaken my sleeping angel.

What she needs is the soothing
sound of reggae music.

(man on radio) 'On
the local front'

'the manhunt continues
for Camille Harris.'

'Suspected in a spree of
convenience store hold‐ups.'

'She was last seen hitch‐hiking
outside of Pittsburgh.'

Hold up now, uh, uh,
didn't we pick up girlie

right outside Pittsburgh?

'Witnesses describe her
as being about 5'2"'

'with a tattoo of a penguin
on her left wrist.'

‐ Oh? ‐ 'What the..'

Gimme that. This
is not a penguin.

That's a bird wearin' a tuxedo.

We are all going to die.

Just chill out, brave Wolverine.

We'll pull this van over and
we'll come up with a plan.

Look, that woman's a disgrace
to Buckeye fans everywhere.

I say we leave her here and
get our bus to the game.

‐ Yeah that's what I'm saying.
‐ No, no, no.

Let us not act rationally.

Now this is obviously a
case of mistaken identity.

Whoo! How about that.

Most women can't drive a stick.

Baby girl, I know why I'm here

so stop stalling and
show me the rock!

I bet it's as big
as that door knob.

Mom, um, I, I didn't call you
over to announce my engagement.

‐ Um, ladies. ‐ Oh, yes.

Um, Dexter and I are
movin' in together.

Congratulations. I'm
very happy for you.

Maybe you didn't hear her!

She said that they are moving
in together in the same house

in the same bed.

I heard.

And as long as she's happy,
that's all that matters.

I was expecting fireworks
and this is what I get?

As usual, Regine, you are
a big disappointment.

That was the worst reaction
I could've ever expected.

Anger I could deal with, but...
being polite?

Wishing me well. Not
raining on my parade.

Now, that is just plain...
hateful.

You know, your mother is...
worse than.

Penny's mom on "Good Times."

That's what I'm saying.

Oh, excuse me, officer, uh, we
need to report a stolen vehicle.

It was a highly customized
classic 1967 Volkswagen bus

with... patches of the
original paint still on it.

If you're talkin' about
a dig little hippie bus

with a "Hemp for health"
bumper sticker?

We've got it in impound.

Unfortunately right
after we towed it here

it burst into flames.

There he is, officer.
That's him.

That's the freak that
let me drive away

in their broke down
hooty from hell.

Girl, you got more nerve than
a pick‐pocket in church.

You better butt
out of it, curly.

You're a menace to society.

If I ever get out, I'mma
come back and hunt you down

like the dog you are.

Did you see that
fire, that passion?

I'll wait for you,
my lovely felon.

Russ, have you ever thought
about going after a woman

that you might have a
chance in hell of getting?

Man, all I know is, there's
three minutes before kick‐off

and we stuck out
here in the boonie.

We've got a black
and white out back.

You expect me to watch my cousin
lead the Buckeyes to victory

on a black and white TV?

Oh, relax man, it's
just a game, huh?

A game, you say?

No, no not where I come from.

See? Cleveland is
a simple place.

Blue collar town with
hard‐working people.

See, when I was growing up,
car plants and steel mills

were closing down
left and right.

Jobs were hard to come by.
And hope?

Hope was just the name
of our local librarian.

So the only thing
that kept us alive

was O State football on Saturday

and the Browns on Sunday.

Man, some of my best memories

are with my dad down on those
frozen stadium benches.

And then, Art Modale
cold jacked the Browns

like an armored truck with the
keys left in the ignition.

So now, all we got
left is O State.

So if it's all the
same to you, officer

I'd rather die trying to get
there than to watch my Buckeye

on your black and or white TV.

I meant a black and
white squad car.

If you throw on the
lights and sirens

I can get you there
in three hours.

Oh. Alright, let's bounce.

[cheering]

Come on, man, the
game's almost over

we've got to get to our seats.

Oh, yo, you might want to cover
that up, man. Buckeye country.

Oh, brother, please.
I am strong.

I am proud. I am a Wolverine!

Now, you're strong,
proud and naked.

(male announcer) 'Ohio State
calls their final time‐out.'

‐ Oh, hey! ‐ Hey.

Look who finally showed up.

My fast talking New York nephew.
Hey, come here, boy!

Uncle Smoke Eye!

I thought you were dead!

Only reason you'd miss
a big game like this.

I know!

And who's your naked friend?

Hey, hey, I'm, I'm Tripp.
Can I borrow your coat?

Hell, no!

Y'all settle in. We're
five points down.

My boy is driving the
team down the field.

Alright. Oh, excuse me, dawg.

‐ I think you're in my seat.
‐ Uh, look, bro.

Two hours and fifty bucks
ago, this became my seat.

Wait are you trying to tell
me somebody sold my seat?

Well, like I said, son, I
thought you were dead.

(man on radio) 'Well, it
all comes down to this.'

'Just five seconds on the clock'

'this is the last
play of the game.'

'Alright, Damon Howard
takes the snap'

'fades back into the pocket
Can't find a receiver!'

'Scrambles to the left!
Scrambles right!'

'Fights it over, he dives in, touchdown!
Ohio State!'

[cheering]

Yeah, boy. I told you
it was our year.

That's Obie right
there, see him?

I know my man when I see him.

That's him right there.
Look, look.

You know what my mom is in
there doing, don't you?

See, it's that old passive
aggressive routine of hers.

She's just going to
stay in there until I

until I just get worn down.

But you know what?
Not this time.

You know what? I, I, I'm
just going to pack my bags.

‐ And I am going to‐‐ ‐ Move!

Move, to the Hamptons
with my man.

And if I never see her again,
well, smooches to her!

Don't you talk about
your mother that way.

‐ How you gonna smooch her?
‐ How could you say that?

‐ It's your mother.
‐ Oh, my goodness!

I never speak to my
mother like that.

‐ What're you talking about?
‐ Listen here, Miss Missy.

My mother and I have a
special relationship.

So do Khadijah and her mom.

Yours is a twisted one.

Strangely, it works. Go fix it.

Alright... I will be
the bigger person.

But then, Khadijah,
I'm going to need

the number to your therapist.

Therapist? Man, you see
somebody once or twice

and now you've got a therapist.

‐ What's up with that? ‐ I know.

Okay, um, here I am..

So let me have it.

Do you girls ever clean
out this refrigerator?

I just found my casserole
from the Fourth of July.

Well, I won't have
to worry about that

when I move in with Dexter,
because he's got a live‐in maid.

Hmm.

That was your opening, ma.

This is where you yell
and, and start hollering

about how I'm such
a disappointment

and oh, how I will
be living in sin

and, and how will
you ever break this

to your bowling league.

Get mad!

I'm not mad at you, baby girl.

I'm hurting for you.

Look, now, I didn't
just meet you, Regina.

I've known you all your life.

And I know that, moving in with
Dexter without marrying him

is not what you want.

Okay, alright, so..
So I do want it all.

But what, what am
I supposed to do

tell Dexter and risk losing him?

Ma, he's the one.

If that's the case,
then you should be able

to tell him the truth.

And if he can't hear it, well..

Maybe he's not the one.

[piano music]

Baby, what, what is all
of this fabulousness?

This is the song that
I always dreamed

would be played at my wedding.

I'd like you to be
there to hear it too.

Regine..

Will you marry me?

[gasps]

Are you alright?

Yes.

Yes? Yes?

‐ Yes. ‐ Yes.

Yes! Yes.

Yes!

‐ 'We're getting
married!' ‐ 'Uh‐huh.'

We're getting married!

‐ We, we.. ‐ Whoo!

[theme music]