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1
00:00:01,868 --> 00:00:03,228
(man on TV) 'With
the sixth pick..'
2
00:00:03,269 --> 00:00:05,038
Uh, the NFL Draft?
3
00:00:05,105 --> 00:00:06,540
You don't even care
about football.
4
00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:08,141
True, but I do care about
5
00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:10,143
the next crop of
muscle‐bound millionaires
6
00:00:10,210 --> 00:00:11,477
and where they're gonna live.
7
00:00:13,146 --> 00:00:16,416
"LaShawn Wallace to Denver."
8
00:00:16,482 --> 00:00:18,752
Oh, oh, I could live in Denver.
9
00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:22,488
With his contract you
could buy Denver.
10
00:00:24,157 --> 00:00:28,762
What's up, people, other
than my new en vume.
11
00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:32,999
Check it out, stand
in line to feel
12
00:00:33,066 --> 00:00:34,768
the velvet.
13
00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:36,436
Go on, do it yourself.
14
00:00:36,503 --> 00:00:38,304
Doesn't anybody read anymore?
15
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:39,840
Hey.
16
00:00:39,906 --> 00:00:41,608
Hey, what's wrong, Obie?
17
00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:43,715
You know how I haven't been
able to stomach football
18
00:00:43,739 --> 00:00:48,882
since the Browns left Cleveland
and became the Baltimore Ravens.
19
00:00:48,949 --> 00:00:50,617
Well, at least you
can say Browns now.
20
00:00:50,644 --> 00:00:52,604
You know, I was getting
tired of you calling them.
21
00:00:52,628 --> 00:00:55,298
"The team that was formerly
known as a paper bag color."
22
00:00:56,289 --> 00:00:57,649
I mean, what happened
to the sport?
23
00:00:57,673 --> 00:00:59,693
You know, all these
teams movin' around.
24
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:00,880
You got the Oakland Traitors
25
00:01:00,934 --> 00:01:04,470
the Indianapolis
Bolts, what's next?
26
00:01:04,538 --> 00:01:06,740
The Seattle See‐ya‐hawks?
27
00:01:08,208 --> 00:01:09,909
If you want your
little team back
28
00:01:09,976 --> 00:01:12,045
why don't you just start a
letter writing campaign?
29
00:01:12,112 --> 00:01:14,312
They'll be so stunned to learn
a Browns' fan could write
30
00:01:14,336 --> 00:01:16,382
they just might do somethin'.
31
00:01:16,449 --> 00:01:19,152
Well, I've written
over 291 letters
32
00:01:19,219 --> 00:01:21,221
without nary a response.
33
00:01:21,287 --> 00:01:23,790
And next time your
Epilady breaks down
34
00:01:23,857 --> 00:01:25,191
I ain't fixin' it, fuzzy.
35
00:01:26,893 --> 00:01:28,733
You know, Overton, there's
strength in numbers.
36
00:01:28,757 --> 00:01:31,297
Maybe you should put together
a group of people like you.
37
00:01:31,364 --> 00:01:33,099
You know, Browns' fans.
38
00:01:33,166 --> 00:01:34,166
No life!
39
00:01:35,636 --> 00:01:37,838
Your, um, sarcasm aside
40
00:01:37,904 --> 00:01:39,339
that's a pretty good idea.
41
00:01:39,405 --> 00:01:41,241
Get a room full of Browns fans
42
00:01:41,307 --> 00:01:42,909
man, there ain't
nothin' we can't do.
43
00:01:42,976 --> 00:01:44,144
Uh, yes, there is, this time
44
00:01:44,210 --> 00:01:46,079
there will be no bobbing
for dog biscuits
45
00:01:46,146 --> 00:01:47,146
in the bathtub.
46
00:01:48,081 --> 00:01:49,650
Woof! Woof! Bow‐bow!
47
00:01:51,184 --> 00:01:53,119
♪ We are living ♪
48
00:01:53,186 --> 00:01:55,556
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
49
00:01:55,622 --> 00:01:58,258
♪ Ooh and in a 90s
kind of world ♪
50
00:01:58,324 --> 00:02:00,561
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
51
00:02:00,627 --> 00:02:01,907
♪ Oh keep your head up ♪
♪ What ♪
52
00:02:01,935 --> 00:02:03,145
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪
53
00:02:03,169 --> 00:02:05,171
♪ Whenever this life gets
tough you gotta fight ♪
54
00:02:05,238 --> 00:02:07,373
♪ With my home girl standing
to my left and my right ♪
55
00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:09,309
♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪
56
00:02:09,375 --> 00:02:11,175
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
57
00:02:11,241 --> 00:02:12,761
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
58
00:02:12,785 --> 00:02:15,058
♪ Do what you want, girlfriend
cause it's your world ♪
59
00:02:15,616 --> 00:02:17,383
♪ Haa ♪
60
00:02:22,488 --> 00:02:24,525
Hey, I thought you
had a date tonight.
61
00:02:24,591 --> 00:02:29,429
What, no dress, no
jewelry, no cleave.
62
00:02:29,495 --> 00:02:33,967
Well, according to "How To
Catch That Brother For Keeps"
63
00:02:34,034 --> 00:02:36,503
a woman should not go out
of her way to impress
64
00:02:36,570 --> 00:02:38,705
a man on the first date.
65
00:02:38,772 --> 00:02:40,574
He on the sorry side, huh?
66
00:02:42,075 --> 00:02:43,075
Yep.
67
00:02:44,611 --> 00:02:47,548
But, hey, he's got tickets to
the Fugees concert, right?
68
00:02:50,951 --> 00:02:52,986
Damn, dinggity,
damnitty, damn it!
69
00:02:55,255 --> 00:02:57,858
Hey, I didn't know you could
conjugate the word "Damn."
70
00:02:58,992 --> 00:03:00,634
Shut up, shorty‐by‐nature.
71
00:03:03,570 --> 00:03:05,138
Now, somebody is rippin'
off the schools
72
00:03:05,205 --> 00:03:07,541
and for some reason my
constituents seem to think
73
00:03:07,608 --> 00:03:10,210
that Alderwoman Shaw should
get to the bottom of it.
74
00:03:10,276 --> 00:03:12,112
The nerve of those voters.
75
00:03:12,178 --> 00:03:15,015
Electing you to office and
actually expectin' you
76
00:03:15,081 --> 00:03:16,182
to do somethin'.
77
00:03:17,483 --> 00:03:19,452
Can you dig it, alright?
78
00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:22,689
Now, they‐they just dropped a
whole load of dough down there
79
00:03:22,756 --> 00:03:26,326
but no seems to know where
the shemangees went.
80
00:03:26,392 --> 00:03:27,728
Now, what am I supposed to do
81
00:03:27,794 --> 00:03:30,030
about there not
being enough books
82
00:03:30,096 --> 00:03:32,132
chocolate milk or condoms
for the kiddies?
83
00:03:33,534 --> 00:03:35,802
Tell 'em to share
books and not booty.
84
00:03:37,504 --> 00:03:39,005
Let me get this right.
85
00:03:39,072 --> 00:03:41,174
You sayin' the money
was allocated
86
00:03:41,241 --> 00:03:42,843
but nobody knows where it went?
87
00:03:44,277 --> 00:03:45,879
Yes.
88
00:03:45,946 --> 00:03:49,149
Ah, I smell an
expose for "Flavor."
89
00:03:49,215 --> 00:03:51,484
And I could help you, too.
90
00:03:51,552 --> 00:03:54,788
Mm, that never occurred to me.
91
00:03:56,022 --> 00:03:58,324
Okay, I'll need a list
of your contacts..
92
00:04:00,901 --> 00:04:03,103
A copy of the city's budget..
93
00:04:05,572 --> 00:04:07,508
And a great photo
for the cover..
94
00:04:09,843 --> 00:04:10,911
[car horn honking]
95
00:04:10,977 --> 00:04:14,014
Well, I bet that's my date.
96
00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:15,181
[honking continues]
97
00:04:17,050 --> 00:04:20,987
That's a brand‐new Jaguar XJS!
98
00:04:22,923 --> 00:04:25,091
Oh, no, I‐I got to
slap on some make‐up
99
00:04:25,158 --> 00:04:27,093
and p‐put on some real clothes.
100
00:04:28,428 --> 00:04:31,765
[laughs] She's pretty good.
101
00:04:31,832 --> 00:04:34,668
Only thing is the
Jaguar's driving off
102
00:04:34,734 --> 00:04:37,136
and her date is gettin'
out of a Chevette
103
00:04:37,203 --> 00:04:39,973
with a trash bag where
the window used to be.
104
00:04:45,478 --> 00:04:46,980
What's happening there, dimples?
105
00:04:47,047 --> 00:04:48,682
Oh, good morning,
may I help you?
106
00:04:48,749 --> 00:04:50,050
Yes, you may, bam!
107
00:04:50,116 --> 00:04:52,418
I'm Tyrone Richardson,
the new writer.
108
00:04:52,485 --> 00:04:53,520
Well, how nice for you.
109
00:04:53,587 --> 00:04:55,388
I'm Synclaire, the
old office manager.
110
00:04:55,455 --> 00:04:56,975
Well, not really the
old office manager
111
00:04:56,999 --> 00:04:57,999
because I'm not that old
112
00:04:58,058 --> 00:04:59,560
and certainly it's
not an old office.
113
00:04:59,626 --> 00:05:02,102
There's brand‐new furniture,
all very nice.. Oh.
114
00:05:02,168 --> 00:05:03,403
Wild guess, wild guess.
115
00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:04,838
You related to the boss?
116
00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:07,808
Are you Ty Richardson?
117
00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:10,677
We met at the National Black
Journalists Convention.
118
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:12,813
Oh, yeah, yeah.
119
00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:15,281
Who could forget a face
as beautiful as yours?
120
00:05:15,348 --> 00:05:16,917
[both chuckle]
121
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:20,053
Could you tell Khadijah
James I'm here, please?
122
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:23,323
Certainly, Khadijah,
there's a Ty Richardson
123
00:05:23,389 --> 00:05:24,658
here to see you.
124
00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:31,197
You know what it is? You went
from beautiful to just fine!
125
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:35,536
Oh, my gorsch, it's
Ty Richardson!
126
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:37,871
What's up, homie? You get the
interviews nobody can get.
127
00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:41,041
Nelson Mandela,
Castro, the Artist.
128
00:05:44,410 --> 00:05:45,612
So, what brings you here?
129
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,948
Well, your partners down
at Global Publishing
130
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,851
met by salary demands and
they told me to start today.
131
00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:54,955
So, congratulations,
everybody, here I is!
132
00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:57,090
Really?
133
00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:59,359
Well, did the people at
Global say anything to you
134
00:05:59,425 --> 00:06:01,034
about tellin' my ass?
135
00:06:05,639 --> 00:06:07,373
Jeremy Mills, please.
136
00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:08,542
Oh, there's confusion
137
00:06:08,609 --> 00:06:09,876
and for once I'm not involved.
138
00:06:12,713 --> 00:06:14,214
Yeah, Jeremy
139
00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:16,049
where do you get off
hirin' my staff?
140
00:06:17,217 --> 00:06:18,484
I know he's good.
141
00:06:19,653 --> 00:06:21,187
Look..
142
00:06:21,254 --> 00:06:23,056
Okay, he's exceptional.
143
00:06:24,190 --> 00:06:25,626
Well..
144
00:06:27,327 --> 00:06:28,595
Okay, well, he's hired
145
00:06:28,662 --> 00:06:30,764
and don't you dare
fight me on this.
146
00:06:32,098 --> 00:06:33,099
Alright, then
147
00:06:33,166 --> 00:06:34,968
let's welcome our new reporter.
148
00:06:35,035 --> 00:06:37,971
Give him a pencil and clear
off the donut table.
149
00:06:38,038 --> 00:06:40,173
Alright, well,
welcome aboard, Ty.
150
00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:42,943
Just don't be thinking about
pushin' up our Khadijah.
151
00:06:43,009 --> 00:06:44,611
We already got the
wedding planned.
152
00:06:47,347 --> 00:06:50,183
Listen, Ty, regardless
to who hired you
153
00:06:50,250 --> 00:06:52,252
this is my magazine, okay?
154
00:06:52,318 --> 00:06:54,487
See this pencil? Mine.
155
00:06:54,555 --> 00:06:57,524
This paper? Mine.
156
00:06:57,591 --> 00:06:59,025
This troll here?
157
00:07:01,067 --> 00:07:02,335
You can have this.
158
00:07:05,271 --> 00:07:07,674
Hey, look, Khadijah,
I'm just here
159
00:07:07,741 --> 00:07:11,578
to add a little bit of
funk to "Flavor." Okay?
160
00:07:11,645 --> 00:07:13,413
Alright, let's get
you an assignment
161
00:07:13,479 --> 00:07:15,415
so, you can get
hell out of here.
162
00:07:17,350 --> 00:07:18,719
This is mine, this is mine.
163
00:07:18,785 --> 00:07:21,622
I got this one, I
gotta do this one‐‐.
164
00:07:21,688 --> 00:07:23,123
Hey, check this out,
check this out.
165
00:07:23,189 --> 00:07:25,125
How 'bout a article on
the misappropriation
166
00:07:25,191 --> 00:07:26,492
of public school funds?
167
00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:29,095
Well, that's my cover story, I
already have a couple of calls
168
00:07:29,162 --> 00:07:30,764
into the city's
purchasing director.
169
00:07:30,831 --> 00:07:32,498
‐ Wallace Doolittle? ‐ Mm‐hmm.
170
00:07:32,566 --> 00:07:34,400
‐ You called him? ‐ Yeah.
171
00:07:34,467 --> 00:07:36,837
That's cute. That's real cute.
172
00:07:36,903 --> 00:07:39,372
You see, you shoulda tracked
him down at his favorite bar
173
00:07:39,439 --> 00:07:41,708
and bought him tequila
all night like I did.
174
00:07:41,775 --> 00:07:44,811
That brother spilled his guts.
175
00:07:44,878 --> 00:07:46,212
Then he staggered
to the bathroom
176
00:07:46,279 --> 00:07:48,448
and he spilled his guts again!
177
00:07:50,551 --> 00:07:53,486
Okay, the story's yours. Let
me just get you my notes.
178
00:07:53,554 --> 00:07:55,514
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, if I take your notes
179
00:07:55,538 --> 00:07:57,057
that means I have to
share the byline.
180
00:07:57,123 --> 00:07:59,159
Tyrone Richardson
flies solo, baby.
181
00:07:59,225 --> 00:08:02,135
Alright, I need that
article by Friday at five.
182
00:08:02,202 --> 00:08:04,404
Oh, that's a no‐can‐do, I
promised Naomi Campbell
183
00:08:04,470 --> 00:08:06,607
a foot massage at five.
184
00:08:06,673 --> 00:08:07,941
I'll have it at four.
185
00:08:09,042 --> 00:08:12,846
Ooh, Naomi Campbell, ooh, uh..
186
00:08:12,913 --> 00:08:14,815
I could come along
and hangout, huh?
187
00:08:14,881 --> 00:08:16,921
I could bring some peppermint
foot lotion, you know?
188
00:08:16,945 --> 00:08:18,018
Uh, I don't know, kid
189
00:08:18,084 --> 00:08:20,120
I think you should stay
here with your fiance.
190
00:08:20,186 --> 00:08:22,355
‐ Fiance? ‐ Khadijah.
191
00:08:22,382 --> 00:08:23,662
Uh, since you gonna have my baby
192
00:08:23,686 --> 00:08:27,594
um... I think it's proper
that we get married.
193
00:08:27,661 --> 00:08:28,929
You want some coffee?
194
00:08:29,730 --> 00:08:30,730
[door closes]
195
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,001
Well, sweet pea,
since the meetin'
196
00:08:35,068 --> 00:08:36,870
was supposed to start a hour ago
197
00:08:36,937 --> 00:08:39,339
I guess nobody really cares
about the Browns anymore.
198
00:08:40,774 --> 00:08:42,576
'Cept Kyle, my best buddy.
199
00:08:42,643 --> 00:08:43,877
I knew you'd make it, man.
200
00:08:43,944 --> 00:08:45,278
Overton, man, I was delayed
201
00:08:45,345 --> 00:08:47,347
and I missed your
little get‐together.
202
00:08:47,413 --> 00:08:49,983
[giggles] How unfortunate.
203
00:08:50,050 --> 00:08:53,019
Well, actually, you're
the first to arrive.
204
00:08:53,086 --> 00:08:55,355
Oh, how unfortunate.
205
00:08:56,222 --> 00:08:57,490
[knocking on door]
206
00:09:00,193 --> 00:09:02,468
‐ Hey. ‐ Alright. Hey, man.
207
00:09:02,536 --> 00:09:03,704
Oh, dear God
208
00:09:03,770 --> 00:09:07,273
the Avon Lady has
let herself go.
209
00:09:07,340 --> 00:09:09,242
Eclipse, I'm glad you
could make it, dude.
210
00:09:09,309 --> 00:09:10,577
Where the rest of the crew?
211
00:09:10,644 --> 00:09:12,524
Well, Red Rash and the
boys aren't gonna make it
212
00:09:12,548 --> 00:09:14,748
they're watching "The
White Shadow" marathon.
213
00:09:14,815 --> 00:09:17,283
Tsh, some fans they are, man.
214
00:09:17,350 --> 00:09:19,452
They could've popped
in a tape like I did.
215
00:09:21,021 --> 00:09:22,956
Well, Overton, The
Eclipse is here
216
00:09:23,023 --> 00:09:25,423
and that's as good as having a
couple of Browns' fans, right?
217
00:09:25,447 --> 00:09:26,392
Yeah, homeboy.
218
00:09:26,459 --> 00:09:28,061
I don't care about no Browns.
219
00:09:28,128 --> 00:09:29,648
I just want the Ravens
out of Baltimore
220
00:09:29,672 --> 00:09:31,197
so my Colts can move back.
221
00:09:31,264 --> 00:09:33,867
Well, let's just, um,
kick this off, shall we?
222
00:09:35,536 --> 00:09:37,638
Greetings, Browns' fan.
223
00:09:37,704 --> 00:09:40,507
'Colt's fan and...
person who really'
224
00:09:40,574 --> 00:09:43,243
'doesn't want to be here.'
225
00:09:43,309 --> 00:09:45,145
In today's mail I
received a letter
226
00:09:45,211 --> 00:09:47,113
from the Ravens themselves
227
00:09:47,180 --> 00:09:49,916
and I'm opening it now so
that we can all experience
228
00:09:49,983 --> 00:09:52,753
the good news... together.
229
00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:57,591
Hell, I'm all goose‐pimply.
Uh‐hh‐hh.
230
00:09:57,658 --> 00:09:59,626
"Mr. Jones.." Tsk.
231
00:09:59,693 --> 00:10:03,804
"In response to your 291 letters
232
00:10:03,870 --> 00:10:09,610
"be advised that you will be
served with an harassment suit.."
233
00:10:09,676 --> 00:10:13,914
"Unless you cease and
desist immediately."
234
00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:16,382
"We strongly suggest
you seek therapy."
235
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,351
[laughing]
236
00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:21,321
"Best wishes, the damn Ravens."
237
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:26,527
Oh, man, what a day, what a day.
238
00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:28,494
I had lunch with TLC
239
00:10:28,562 --> 00:10:31,031
and I played ball with BBD.
240
00:10:31,097 --> 00:10:32,332
Which reminds me
241
00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:36,469
Sunday I have church with Run‐D.
M. C.
242
00:10:36,537 --> 00:10:40,974
Well, you had a message
from CP, Colin Powell.
243
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:42,881
He wants to know if he
can bring his four alarm
244
00:10:42,905 --> 00:10:44,745
potato salad to your picnic.
245
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:47,881
Well, he can bring it, but
nobody eats it but James Brown.
246
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:49,950
James love stuff
that makes him go..
247
00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:52,218
Hey!
248
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:54,888
Ty! Hey, everybody, Ty's here.
249
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:57,423
Listen, man, we've been waiting
all morning for you to tell us
250
00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:00,193
how you got that exclusive
interview with Heidi Fleiss.
251
00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:02,736
Okay, okay, okay, it all
started when I called her
252
00:11:02,803 --> 00:11:04,871
and disguised my voice as
Charlie Sheen and said‐‐.
253
00:11:04,938 --> 00:11:06,372
Get back to work.
254
00:11:07,841 --> 00:11:10,143
Hey, listen, if anybody is
looking for this reporter
255
00:11:10,210 --> 00:11:12,445
I'mma be out on a
dangerous assignment.
256
00:11:12,513 --> 00:11:15,448
You just make sure they put
mustard on my turkey pastrami.
257
00:11:16,583 --> 00:11:18,619
See, the deli's in
a very rough hood.
258
00:11:21,221 --> 00:11:23,624
What's up with you, man? I mean,
y‐you're partying all night.
259
00:11:23,690 --> 00:11:25,859
You roll up in here at 1
o'clock in the afternoon.
260
00:11:25,926 --> 00:11:27,460
Man, you got a story
due tomorrow.
261
00:11:27,528 --> 00:11:30,063
Come on, baby, don't
sweat it, I got you.
262
00:11:30,130 --> 00:11:31,932
Now, if it help you
sleep at night
263
00:11:31,998 --> 00:11:33,266
here's my notes.
264
00:11:38,238 --> 00:11:40,373
Dry‐cleaning receipt?
265
00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:42,709
Candy wrapper?
266
00:11:42,776 --> 00:11:44,911
Okay, before I was
worried, now I'm scared.
267
00:11:44,978 --> 00:11:47,313
Wait a minute, you took notes
268
00:11:47,380 --> 00:11:49,583
on the wrapper of a
king‐sized peanut butter cup?
269
00:11:49,650 --> 00:11:50,650
What's wrong with that?
270
00:11:50,684 --> 00:11:52,252
I'm sayin' break a sister
271
00:11:52,318 --> 00:11:53,587
off a peanut butter cup.
272
00:11:55,455 --> 00:11:56,590
So, it turns out
273
00:11:56,657 --> 00:11:58,258
Herman isn't some broke weirdo
274
00:11:58,324 --> 00:12:00,667
he is actually quite wealthy.
275
00:12:00,734 --> 00:12:03,236
And I'm actually quite busy.
276
00:12:03,303 --> 00:12:05,171
The Chevette, see,
that's just a car
277
00:12:05,238 --> 00:12:08,341
that he uses to drive
to his Rolls Royce.
278
00:12:09,743 --> 00:12:11,778
So, you definitely goin'
to see him again?
279
00:12:11,845 --> 00:12:13,980
Tsh, well, now my book says
280
00:12:14,047 --> 00:12:16,683
that I shouldn't, you know,
call him for another week or so
281
00:12:16,750 --> 00:12:19,152
but it doesn't say nothin'
about drivin' by his house.
282
00:12:21,187 --> 00:12:24,157
Max, that means you
ain't in my apartment.
283
00:12:24,224 --> 00:12:25,224
See ya.
284
00:12:26,993 --> 00:12:28,529
Alright, girl, hey
285
00:12:28,595 --> 00:12:30,430
I know you be workin'
all night on our story
286
00:12:30,496 --> 00:12:32,432
so I brought you a
little din‐din.
287
00:12:35,235 --> 00:12:36,603
It's half gone.
288
00:12:36,670 --> 00:12:37,750
If traffic were any heavier
289
00:12:37,804 --> 00:12:39,239
you'd be suckin' crust.
290
00:12:40,541 --> 00:12:42,643
Khadijah, can you
please forgive me?
291
00:12:44,110 --> 00:12:46,513
I've been swayed
by false prophets.
292
00:12:46,580 --> 00:12:48,460
Ty and I were chillin' at
McGillicuddy's, right?
293
00:12:48,484 --> 00:12:51,785
Now, he clocked this dude for
eating peanuts out of his bowl.
294
00:12:51,852 --> 00:12:53,353
That kid has got a cover story
295
00:12:53,419 --> 00:12:55,355
and he's out buck
wildin' at a bar?
296
00:12:55,421 --> 00:12:59,092
You gave my story to
some peanut freak?
297
00:12:59,159 --> 00:13:02,569
What the hell were
you thinking, man?
298
00:13:03,704 --> 00:13:05,639
Max, just chill,
we have 18 hours
299
00:13:05,706 --> 00:13:06,740
before we got to press.
300
00:13:06,807 --> 00:13:08,241
Ivan, get down to that bar
301
00:13:08,308 --> 00:13:10,043
and drag that fool back here.
302
00:13:10,110 --> 00:13:12,045
Oh, you know, I'd do
anything for you, Khadijah
303
00:13:12,112 --> 00:13:13,046
but Ty in jail.
304
00:13:13,113 --> 00:13:14,280
‐ What? ‐ Yeah, well, see..
305
00:13:14,347 --> 00:13:16,147
The cop that he punched
turned out to be a cop
306
00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:18,131
'cause he was a, he was a
cop when he punched him.
307
00:13:19,553 --> 00:13:21,454
Well, what's gonna happen
to my cover story?
308
00:13:21,522 --> 00:13:22,789
More importantly
309
00:13:22,856 --> 00:13:25,626
what going to happen
to Alderwoman Shaw?
310
00:13:25,692 --> 00:13:28,494
Damn, dinggity,
damnitty, damn it!
311
00:13:33,700 --> 00:13:35,468
Mm‐hmm. Uh‐huh. Alright,
thanks, pigeon.
312
00:13:35,536 --> 00:13:36,803
I owe you one.
313
00:13:38,404 --> 00:13:41,174
Well, your boy Tyrone is
definitely in lockdown
314
00:13:41,241 --> 00:13:42,641
awaiting arrangement,
and that means
315
00:13:42,665 --> 00:13:43,810
he'll miss the deadline
316
00:13:43,877 --> 00:13:45,879
and Maxine Shaw
317
00:13:45,946 --> 00:13:47,380
the Maverick
318
00:13:47,447 --> 00:13:48,849
will ride no more.
319
00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:51,184
Whoop that, I'll write
the story my damn self.
320
00:13:51,251 --> 00:13:52,586
Good, good, good.
321
00:13:52,653 --> 00:13:54,588
Alright, that's what
I'm talkin' about.
322
00:13:54,655 --> 00:13:56,056
What do we got?
323
00:13:56,122 --> 00:13:58,122
Well, I‐I haven't been on
this thing for three days
324
00:13:58,146 --> 00:14:00,393
I mean, I got a quote
from an anonymous source
325
00:14:00,460 --> 00:14:02,903
and I got a possible lead from
the city's purchasing director.
326
00:14:02,969 --> 00:14:05,471
‐ But.. ‐ You got squat.
327
00:14:05,539 --> 00:14:07,073
Actually, I'll kill for squat.
328
00:14:08,308 --> 00:14:10,143
Alright, okay, okay
329
00:14:10,210 --> 00:14:12,278
it's time for Maxine Shaw
330
00:14:12,345 --> 00:14:14,380
defender of the people
331
00:14:14,447 --> 00:14:16,049
to spring into action.
332
00:14:17,584 --> 00:14:19,224
What, are you supposed
to be, a superhero?
333
00:14:19,248 --> 00:14:20,486
To some.
334
00:14:20,554 --> 00:14:23,223
My cunning legal mind
will devise a scheme
335
00:14:23,289 --> 00:14:25,458
to turn over the
rock of bureaucracy
336
00:14:25,526 --> 00:14:27,528
exposing the worms underneath.
337
00:14:27,594 --> 00:14:28,829
Let's go.
338
00:14:31,264 --> 00:14:32,933
This is your plan, Max
339
00:14:32,999 --> 00:14:34,868
sneaking into city
hall at night?
340
00:14:34,935 --> 00:14:36,937
What's your brilliant plan?
Nothin'.
341
00:14:37,003 --> 00:14:38,038
Shoot.
342
00:14:38,104 --> 00:14:40,040
[instrumental music]
343
00:14:42,943 --> 00:14:44,277
[whispering] Janet Kirby.
344
00:14:44,344 --> 00:14:45,478
Now, see my sources told me
345
00:14:45,546 --> 00:14:47,548
she vacationed in the south
of France last year.
346
00:14:47,614 --> 00:14:49,049
Oh, God. Yes.
347
00:14:51,585 --> 00:14:52,953
Shoot, it's locked.
348
00:14:53,019 --> 00:14:53,954
Oh, don't worry.
349
00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:55,321
The city issued me a master key
350
00:14:55,388 --> 00:14:56,823
that gets me in everywhere.
351
00:14:59,392 --> 00:15:00,901
‐ Alright. ‐ We're in.
352
00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:02,068
We're in.
353
00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:05,672
Now, if I were a
scandalous document
354
00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:07,908
where would I hide?
355
00:15:07,974 --> 00:15:10,711
I wonder which one of these
desks is Janet Kirby's?
356
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:14,515
Ah! Bingo!
357
00:15:16,382 --> 00:15:18,422
Let's see, maybe there's
somethin' on this computer.
358
00:15:18,446 --> 00:15:20,353
You can't get to her
files with a password.
359
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:21,822
Well, maybe we can
figure it out.
360
00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:25,526
[keyboard keys clacking]
361
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:27,694
Ooh, what an ugly poodle.
362
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,531
Poodle.
363
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,701
Try "Butt ugly poodle."
364
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:37,303
Come on, Max.
365
00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:40,741
‐ Dog. ‐ Yeah,
brilliant, Khadijah.
366
00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:42,543
The woman's embezzling
thousands of dollars
367
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,144
and she'd be that stupid.
368
00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:45,311
[computer beeps]
369
00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:49,215
Like I said,
brilliant, brilliant!
370
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,217
‐ Alright. ‐ Yeah.
371
00:15:53,654 --> 00:15:57,023
Look at this, looks like
a second set of books.
372
00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:59,926
‐ PS‐751, $10,000. ‐ Yes, yes.
373
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:01,134
‐ PS‐804.. ‐ 804..
374
00:16:01,201 --> 00:16:02,268
(both) $10,000.
375
00:16:02,335 --> 00:16:04,538
PS‐804, that's in my district.
376
00:16:04,605 --> 00:16:06,125
We were supposed to
get that ten grand.
377
00:16:06,149 --> 00:16:08,308
All we got were a
box of used erasers
378
00:16:08,374 --> 00:16:10,310
and a map of the
old Soviet Union.
379
00:16:11,912 --> 00:16:14,515
Well, let's just copy this file
and get the hell out of here.
380
00:16:16,182 --> 00:16:17,784
[keys jangling]
381
00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:19,119
‐ Oh, hide. ‐ Hide.
382
00:16:21,588 --> 00:16:24,525
[instrumental music]
383
00:16:25,191 --> 00:16:26,860
Alright, freeze!
384
00:16:32,633 --> 00:16:34,434
Oh..
385
00:16:34,500 --> 00:16:36,870
Oh!
386
00:16:36,937 --> 00:16:38,905
Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy.
387
00:16:38,972 --> 00:16:43,043
We have been up and through
this mug for over two minutes.
388
00:16:43,109 --> 00:16:45,045
Officer Coleman.
389
00:16:45,111 --> 00:16:46,446
What?
390
00:16:46,513 --> 00:16:48,281
I am Shaw..
391
00:16:50,416 --> 00:16:51,685
And this is James.
392
00:16:53,153 --> 00:16:54,721
And we are from
Security Security.
393
00:16:54,788 --> 00:16:55,956
Security Security.
394
00:16:56,022 --> 00:16:58,291
And every arbitrary period
395
00:16:58,358 --> 00:16:59,760
we do a surprise check.
396
00:16:59,826 --> 00:17:01,001
Surprise!
397
00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:02,402
I didn't hear anything about
398
00:17:02,468 --> 00:17:04,037
any surprise check.
399
00:17:04,104 --> 00:17:07,007
Hence, the word "Surprise."
400
00:17:07,073 --> 00:17:10,010
Is that liquor I smell
on your breath?
401
00:17:10,076 --> 00:17:13,046
Well, just a little birthday
celebration, you know.
402
00:17:13,113 --> 00:17:14,548
We passed around a 40.
403
00:17:15,949 --> 00:17:18,819
Oh, so you're all inebriated?
404
00:17:18,885 --> 00:17:20,005
Well, I want the whole shift
405
00:17:20,029 --> 00:17:21,454
in the break room
in ten minutes.
406
00:17:21,522 --> 00:17:24,290
Oh, man, this is
my third strike.
407
00:17:25,491 --> 00:17:26,627
Did she stutter?
408
00:17:26,693 --> 00:17:27,794
Move it!
409
00:17:34,835 --> 00:17:38,238
This is the tray from my
very first Browns foot long.
410
00:17:40,173 --> 00:17:41,374
Ah.
411
00:17:41,441 --> 00:17:44,210
Well, at least you were
able to let the dog go.
412
00:17:46,580 --> 00:17:49,215
Fresh as the day..
413
00:17:49,282 --> 00:17:51,417
That there is fresh as
the day I bought it.
414
00:17:52,919 --> 00:17:54,154
Okay, Overton, you know what?
415
00:17:54,220 --> 00:17:56,189
This Browns thing is
turning into an obsession
416
00:17:56,256 --> 00:17:58,859
and I think it's
time to move on.
417
00:17:58,925 --> 00:18:01,868
Aw, baby girl, I'm not
obsessed or nothin'.
418
00:18:01,935 --> 00:18:04,638
I just can't stop
talkin' 'bout it.
419
00:18:05,939 --> 00:18:08,008
Look, baby, I know it's
hard for you to understand
420
00:18:08,074 --> 00:18:09,810
but Cleveland Municipal Stadium
421
00:18:09,876 --> 00:18:12,646
was like the Mecca
of my childhood.
422
00:18:12,713 --> 00:18:16,883
Everything good and
holy happened there.
423
00:18:16,950 --> 00:18:20,687
Even the drunken fistfights with
the Steeler fans were magical.
424
00:18:22,155 --> 00:18:24,324
But, do I have to
listen to your whining?
425
00:18:26,326 --> 00:18:28,328
Oh, I'm whinin'?
426
00:18:28,394 --> 00:18:32,165
Who took three days off when
they cancelled "Full House?"
427
00:18:33,166 --> 00:18:34,400
Hey, man
428
00:18:34,467 --> 00:18:36,369
I grew up with those twins
429
00:18:36,436 --> 00:18:38,038
but I moved on.
430
00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:41,542
Mm, Khadijah
431
00:18:41,608 --> 00:18:42,928
I got some of your
favorite coffee
432
00:18:42,952 --> 00:18:43,952
in my favorite mug
433
00:18:44,010 --> 00:18:46,513
for my favorite journalist.
434
00:18:46,580 --> 00:18:49,950
Too bad your favorite journalist
doesn't drink coffee.
435
00:18:50,016 --> 00:18:51,785
Well, look who made bail.
436
00:18:51,852 --> 00:18:54,588
Sorry for cuttin' it so close
but Todd Bridges was on "Cops."
437
00:18:56,422 --> 00:18:57,758
Here's my story on disk.
438
00:18:57,824 --> 00:18:59,392
You can send it right to layout.
439
00:19:00,827 --> 00:19:03,837
You know, before I fire you,
I just have one question.
440
00:19:03,904 --> 00:19:05,271
Who the hell do you
think you are?
441
00:19:05,338 --> 00:19:06,907
Didn't you get a copy of my bio?
442
00:19:06,973 --> 00:19:09,342
Look, work was bein' done
here while you were in jail
443
00:19:09,409 --> 00:19:10,877
braidin' some guy's head.
444
00:19:12,078 --> 00:19:13,413
Okay, look, Khadijah
445
00:19:13,479 --> 00:19:17,117
that cop that I pretended
to hit, we go way back.
446
00:19:17,183 --> 00:19:18,652
You see, I got locked up
447
00:19:18,719 --> 00:19:20,854
so, that I can talk to
Kirby's partner in crime
448
00:19:20,921 --> 00:19:22,656
who was locked up
for shopliftin'.
449
00:19:22,723 --> 00:19:24,283
Well, how'd you get
anything out of him?
450
00:19:24,307 --> 00:19:25,692
I convinced him that Kirby
451
00:19:25,759 --> 00:19:27,119
was cuttin' him out
of the profits.
452
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:30,664
Pfft, my man opened up like
my grandfather's pants
453
00:19:30,731 --> 00:19:32,666
during Thanksgiving dinner.
454
00:19:34,668 --> 00:19:35,736
Well, good.
455
00:19:35,802 --> 00:19:36,882
Add a couple of your quotes
456
00:19:36,906 --> 00:19:38,038
and it'll make our article
457
00:19:38,104 --> 00:19:39,673
that much better.
458
00:19:39,740 --> 00:19:42,008
Wait a minute, what do
you mean "Our article?"
459
00:19:42,075 --> 00:19:44,711
I told you, Ty Richardson
don't share no byline.
460
00:19:44,778 --> 00:19:47,413
Fine, I'll take your
name off altogether.
461
00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:49,816
Do we always have to
go at it like this?
462
00:19:49,883 --> 00:19:51,317
Not if you give in.
463
00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:54,220
Alright.
464
00:19:54,287 --> 00:19:55,722
Why don't we get started
465
00:19:55,789 --> 00:19:58,091
on our story?
466
00:19:58,158 --> 00:19:59,425
I decide
467
00:19:59,492 --> 00:20:01,835
when we get started.
468
00:20:01,902 --> 00:20:03,269
[exhales]
469
00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:04,605
Okay, let's start.
470
00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:09,776
Overton, there's somebody
I'd like you to meet.
471
00:20:11,945 --> 00:20:13,146
(Overton) 'Oh!'
472
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,217
What the hell, Jim
Brown, how you doin'?
473
00:20:17,283 --> 00:20:19,720
‐ Oh, better than ever, baby.
‐ Alright.
474
00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:22,288
I tracked Mr. Brown down
at a collectible show.
475
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:24,858
When I told him your
story, he had to come.
476
00:20:24,925 --> 00:20:26,565
And I know what you're
going through, man.
477
00:20:26,589 --> 00:20:29,162
I was a consultant
for the Browns
478
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:31,029
but I had to walk away
from those Ravens, man.
479
00:20:31,053 --> 00:20:32,398
It just wouldn't be the same.
480
00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:36,436
Yeah, I guess you understand why
the little sports fan inside me
481
00:20:36,503 --> 00:20:38,639
is coughin' up blood now.
482
00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:40,674
Come on, my man,
it's just a game.
483
00:20:40,741 --> 00:20:43,443
I quit in my prime
pursuin' another dream
484
00:20:43,510 --> 00:20:46,112
and that dream came true.
485
00:20:46,179 --> 00:20:49,149
Have you seen "The
Dirty Dozen," man?
486
00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:51,351
Are you kiddin'? I watch
it every New Year's Eve
487
00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:53,486
with tears in my eyes.
488
00:20:53,554 --> 00:20:55,088
What Mr. Brown is saying
489
00:20:55,155 --> 00:20:56,957
is that I'm your new dream.
490
00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:59,125
I'm your dirty dozen, Obie.
491
00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:04,037
Before I go I have something
I want you to have.
492
00:21:04,104 --> 00:21:06,840
Oh, man, a boxset
of all your movies
493
00:21:06,907 --> 00:21:10,010
including "Slaughter,
The Director's Cut."
494
00:21:10,076 --> 00:21:11,712
How can I thank you, man?
495
00:21:11,778 --> 00:21:15,081
Well, just give the lady all
the love that she deserves.
496
00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:16,750
‐ Okay? ‐ Thank you, Jim.
497
00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:18,985
‐ 'Alright.' ‐ Oh, alright.
498
00:21:20,253 --> 00:21:21,888
Hey, Overton
499
00:21:21,955 --> 00:21:23,724
from now on I want you to watch.
500
00:21:23,790 --> 00:21:27,293
"Original Gangstas"
on New Year's Eve.
501
00:21:27,360 --> 00:21:29,062
OG.
502
00:21:29,129 --> 00:21:31,565
Alright, but who wants to
wait till New Year's Eve
503
00:21:31,632 --> 00:21:33,567
uh, let's go watch this now.
504
00:21:33,634 --> 00:21:35,401
Come on, let's go then.
505
00:21:39,139 --> 00:21:41,074
[theme music]
506
00:22:09,610 --> 00:22:11,377
(female ♫1) Woo‐hoo!
36843
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